Consequences for mom who slapped referee during soccer?
I wasn’t planning to post today (cooking!) and then I found this story from AJC’s Jeffry Scott (I bolded for a quick read):
“A match between 10-year-old girls’ soccer teams disintegrated into a slapping incident Sunday morning in Forsyth County when a 39-year-old mother went onto the field and smacked a 30-year-old male referee.”
“The mother, according to a Forsyth County Sheriff’s Office incident report, attacked the referee during a match between the Cobb Lady Chiefs and the Lanier Sharks at Central Park when the referee didn’t stop play after her daughter was struck in the chest and knocked down by a soccer ball.”
“The woman, whose daughter played for the Lanier Sharks, was not arrested because she left the scene before sheriff’s deputies arrived answering a 911 call. Her identity, therefore, is not being released, said Capt. Frank Huggins, public information officer for the Sheriff’s Office.”
“He identified her only as 39 and from Gainesville, the home of the Lanier Sharks. The referee, James Hayes, could not be reached for comment Monday afternoon.”
“Authorities won’t arrest the woman unless the referee swears out a warrant against her in magistrate court, according to Huggins.”
“Huggins said the woman had had a disagreement with Hayes the day before during another Sharks game in the weekend tournament. And, earlier Sunday, Hayes had ejected parents of another player from the grounds because of what he considered inappropriate behavior, said Huggins.”
“Huggins said the referee’s face was reddened and his lip bloodied by the slap.”
“Iggy Moleka, an executive with the Forsyth County-based United Futbol Academy, which staged the tournament, said Monday he didn’t learn about the incident until Sunday night when he saw mention of it on a soccer blog.”
“He said he’s never experienced such an incident, but he could understand how emotional the players and parents sometimes get, especially during tournament games.”
“ ‘Some of them [parents] lose their minds,’ he said. ‘But the last thing you want is a grown-up person attacking another grown-up person in front of children. What kind of message does that send?’ ”
“Chiefs coach Ryan Robertson said it happened so fast the next thing he knew he saw the woman was on the field and confronting the referee and ‘I saw her hand go out.’ ”
“The referee didn’t call timeout when the girl was struck by the ball and fell because the other team was in control of the ball and those are the rules of the game, said Robertson. The referee called timeout only after the ball went out of bounds.”
“ ‘When she fell, the referee stood by her with his hands open, indicating play on,’ said Robertson.”
“The girl was fine after the fall.”
“Sean Chamberlain, girls academy director with Cobb Futbol Club, said he’s never seen a parent, in any age league, male or female, go onto the field and strike a referee.”
“ ‘That’s the kind of violence you’d associate with another sport like hockey,’ he said.”
“The final score of the Chiefs-Sharks game on Sunday was 0-0.”
So what should happen to this mom? Have you ever seen this happen at the soccer fields or other games? Do you think a mother or a father would be more inclined to this type of behavior?
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87 comments Add your comment
PhotoMomof4
November 24th, 2010
12:44 am
She should be arrested. That was completely uncalled for. Children fall all the time in sports. I have seen some crazy parents on football and baseball sidelines, but never this. Believe me though, if I’d been there, they would have photographic evidence!
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November 24th, 2010
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» Consequences for mom who slapped referee during soccer? – Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)
November 24th, 2010
1:37 am
[...] Consequences for mom who slapped referee during soccer?Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)and then I found this story from AJC's Jeffry Scott (I bolded for a quick read): “A match between 10-year-old girls' soccer teams disintegrated into a …Charges unlikely in soccer slapForsyth County News OnlineGainesville woman slaps soccer refAccess North GeorgiaForsyth Co. Mom Slaps Soccer RefNews/Talk 750 WSBall 6 news articles » [...]
Jeff
November 24th, 2010
6:32 am
She should be treated the same as if a man had done it. The referee was assaulted by every deifintion of the word.
BlackGeorgian
November 24th, 2010
6:52 am
I have to assume she was a white mom…because she got away with it. Had she been a black mom, she would’ve been in jail by nightfall, with or without a referee swearing out a warrant against her! And, of course, her mugshot would’ve been plastered all over the major local news stations! It’s amazing what white moms can get away with!
Criminal vs. Civil
November 24th, 2010
7:00 am
she committed a crime – a crime against the state – this is not a civil matter but rather a criminal matter – the cops should have gone to her house and arrested her – if they don’t they are not doing their job and they are discriminating
madmommy
November 24th, 2010
7:03 am
As both a player and a ref, there are rules that everyone has to follow. Once during a tournament I had to stop a game all together due to coaches fighting, parents fighting and the players throwing punches on the field. Did I mention that the children were 6 & 7 years old? Come on people, relax and just let a game happen. Are you little angles making millions while out on the field? Ehis is a horrible example to all the children who were both out there playing and watching this game.
Also, the ref should have went to the field cordinator to report the abuse so it could be reported. This women should be arrested, but if she is I doubt anything will come from it other than a few TV apperiances where she could talk herself up o make herself feel better about things. Just horrible actions and I’m glad I wasn’t out there because I would have restrained the women and called the police myself.
madmommy
November 24th, 2010
7:05 am
Blackmom I think your comment is horrible and uncalled for. We don’t know what “race” the women was and we are not debating race. Go to Tuckers blog if that’s what you want to do since those of us here don’t think or feel that way.
Brian
November 24th, 2010
7:09 am
I have to assume she was a white mom…because she got away with it. Had she been a black mom, she would’ve been in jail by nightfall, with or without a referee swearing out a warrant against her! And, of course, her mugshot would’ve been plastered all over the major local news stations! It’s amazing what white moms can get away with!
I am a 35 year-old white male, and I must agree with the above. The only thing I will add: If this had been a man that had done the slapping, he would be in jail as well.
TanMexican
November 24th, 2010
7:10 am
BlackGeorgian
Good luck living you life as a victim.
This story had nothing to do with race but then again that was your point. Someone give BlackGeorgian some reparations please.
TanMexican
November 24th, 2010
7:11 am
Brian, or should I say BlackGeorgian? Good try
mom of 3
November 24th, 2010
7:15 am
Another example of someone thinking their kid rules the world. Yes, she should be arrested and her child removed from her home. She is a violent woman that can’t control her emotions or she is a psycho like most helicopter parents and needs a shrink.
Rock Conner
November 24th, 2010
7:17 am
There’s no room for debate. She should be prosecuted in the applicable jurisdiction for the charge appropriate to hitting another person. White, black, brown, male, female is irrelevant.
badmojoe
November 24th, 2010
7:25 am
BlackGeorgian…wow, it’s not always about race. Get over it.
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
7:43 am
What is up with the race comments?
Yes, this Mother’s behavior is absolutely crazy! I remember 2 woman in front of me SCREAMING at the coaches when my son played soccer at age 7. I stood up and yelled…”who are the coaches and who are the MAMAS?” I guess I was lucky I did not get decked.
FYI…I have been to Gainesville and see all colors.
From yesterday….JATL…LOL…Oh, you think I can get to Alaska but not ITP….too funny. My son lives ITP. How would I get to the airport from Gwinnett…guess I could really go the long way! I will e-mail Theresa to get in touch. It would be fun to meet you!
Beavis
November 24th, 2010
7:45 am
I love it when some racist comments come from a simple incident. But then again all the racist I have met in Georgia are black, thanks for proving my point BlackGeorgian, by the way how do you know their race?
DB
November 24th, 2010
7:45 am
I HOPE the referee files suit for assault. How can we hope to teach our children self-control and disciplines through sport if parents are free to haul off and whack any referee they disagree with?!
After many years of youth soccer in Georgia, and having worked on the state organization’s discipline and protest committee (D&P), I can tell you what would normally have happened: In addition to any criminal charges leveled by the referee, she would have a hearing in front of Georgia Youth Soccer’s D&P committee. This happens fairly rarely, but when it does, Georgia Soccer and USYSF (US Youth Soccer Federation) tends to throw the book at the adult. She can expect to be banned from attending any future youth soccer games, both local, state and national level or where USSF referees are working (and since USSF referees work games from U-10 up to MLS, that pretty much eliminates ever seeing another soccer game ever again.
I will add that, at that particular sex and age group,the parents are the worst. Up to that point, the girls have been playing a fairly non-aggressive game, and parents get used to their little girls bouncing up and down the field, with their ponytails flying. At this point, though, the girls begin to play a more physical game — people start bouncing off each other, they trip over their own feet and the feet of opponents (either on purpose or inadvertently), and the stakes start to get higher — at U-13, teams advance in the state standings based on their win-lose records, and the jockeying for spots on those teams starts young. There are some parents that don’t make the transition from pastime to sport very easily — the same parent that would tell their son to “get up and tough it out” comes out swinging when their little girl lands on her butt.
What most people don’t realize is that most parents are only watching THEIR child on a field — they often don’t see what goes on around the child in terms of ball play, and assume that things happen TO their child, which isn’t necessarily the case.
Both my husband and my son have been soccer referees for over 10 years. My son started early, at 11. Understand one thing: the soccer world takes assault on a referee damn seriously. And “assault” is a broad range: spitting on a referee’s ref bag after the game is considered assault. Keying their car or slashing their tires in the parking lot is also considered assault. Basically, any physical action against the referee or the referee’s belongings is taboo. LEAVE THE REFEREE ALONE, in other words. It’s hard enough to get quality referees out there — the average referee lasts about 2 or 3 years before they tire of the abuse, which makes it hard to develop the cadre of experienced referees. I showed this story to my husband and, based on the VERY scanty information on how the play went down, he commented that the referee probably made the right call — she wasn’t injured, and a good referee never interrupts the flow of the game. Also, keep in mind that what was reported may not necessarily be exactly what happened — we don’t know what the referee saw. Early in my husband’s referee career, he was an AR (assistant referee) for an older girl’s game. He was watching the play, but was puzzled at the number of fouls the center referee was calling during the play. At half-time, he asked the center what was going on, and the center laughed and explained that the girls were pulling opponent’s ponytails to slow ‘em down!
It’s probably a moot point, anyway, because a parent that would do that will probably pull her child out of soccer entirely and we will never see her face near a soccer field again. I feel sorry for her child, to be embarrassed so badly in front of her teammates and friends. And even if she wanted to stay in soccer, she might find it difficult to find a place on a club soccer team if she’s not a top-flight prospect. Parents can be tricky to deal with at the best of times — what coach would want to take on THAT baggage, when you have literally dozens of other kids with non-crazy parents dying to take that spot?
Harold
November 24th, 2010
7:53 am
She should be arrested for assault. The referee may not want to be causing trouble, but that Mom has a serious problem and he would be doing her a favor my making her confront it.
Oh, and BlackMom, living your life as a perpetual victim only hurts yourself and those you love. Noone else.
DB
November 24th, 2010
8:00 am
@madmommy: Some venues (most, actually, during regular season play) don’t have field coordinators on site. Regardless, the referee will be writing up the incident in a report and submitting it to the state discipline and protest committee. I really, really hope the referee elects to file assault charges, too.
catlady
November 24th, 2010
8:06 am
How tough would it be to identify her? Her child plays on the Sharks team. Make a line-up of players and parents (think of the great message that would send to the kids) or bring in the Sharks parents to the police station and have one of them identify her. Surely the other parents are flabbergasted by this as well. The referee, if he has any cojones, should swear out a warrant, for the protection of others if not himself. That mama can certainly be banned, and it would send out a strong message to other parents.
Assault is assault. I bet this parent is all over the school if she thinks her daughter is being “bullied.” Let her feel the consequences of her actions! It might be the first time she has ever been brought up short.
In all the years of my kids playing sports, I never saw a parent do this. (I did see upset parents however) I DID see high school girls’ basketball parents at Cedar Shoals screaming obscenities and shooting birds at parents across the gym floor. Every single one of them should have been removed, but were not.
Thanks to those who are willing to referee, including YOU, Theresa, on this blog! Hopefully none of us will meet for lunch and end up slugging each other (LOL MJG).
Joe
November 24th, 2010
8:09 am
This weekend at a tournament we had a mother yelling at the ref, walk on to the field, then yelled some more. Her daughter then seeing her mom yelling at the ref, then proceede to start yelling at the ref. Ref gave her a yellow card – coach pulled the kid off the field and didn’t put her back in. Don’t know who the mom was more mad at the ref or the coach. These are 10 and 11 year olds. I’ve seen some really bad stuff as both a parent and a coach.
When I coached, regardless of any bad or missed calls, every one of our players went over and thanked the refs for their time. Parents caught on and started to do the same. Craziness!
This lady should be arrested for assualt and then banned from the fields – that’s the policy we sign and agreed to every season with our league.
catlady
November 24th, 2010
8:09 am
I can see the headline: “Three women, who met on a parenting blog, got into a free-for-all in a local restaurant after they discovered strongly opposing opinions on whether a child should be given a pacifier, and if so, for how long. The fight escalated when someone mentioned breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding.”
Really?
November 24th, 2010
8:11 am
My guess is that BlackGeorgian is really a white poster posing as black to stir up comments about race, thereby ruining a perfectly good blog. It’s typical troll behavior and I see it all over the AJC. Being a person of color, I’ve learned to see things that whites either ignore or are ignorant to because those things don’t affect them. That’s not me being paranoid or unrealistic or hypersensitive or pulling the race card. It’s me being intuitive.
That said, the mother in question should be arrested and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law pertaining to her offense. A slap may seem like such a minor thing compared to hardcore crimes, but what she did was wrong and that message needs to reach her and hopefully curttail any subsequent offensive behavior. You can’t just go around slapping people because your kid gets knocked down by a soccer ball in a game. Gee whiz, and the little girl wasn’t even hurt. There are rules of civil behavior we must follow, and if they’re broken, we must face the consequences. The decision to swear out a warrant should not be left up to the referee, IMO. “Oh well, I’ll let it go.” when it comes to one mother, but “I’d like to swear out a warrant.” when it comes to another. Any referee could pick and choose who to punish, and that’s unfair. What a coward this woman is. She can get the ref’s face and slap the tar out of him but isn’t woman enough to wait for the police to say she did it. Cut and run. Great role model for your kid, lady. Keep your hands to yourself.
BadSanta
November 24th, 2010
8:15 am
The slapper needs some jail time.
Larry
November 24th, 2010
8:17 am
@ BlackGeorgian : Why on earth do you have to turn this into a race issue? Are you not intelligent enough to comment on this topic without bringing up race?
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
8:24 am
Aw…come on catlady….we were very polite when we got together, as was DB, Kathy,Becky, Michelle and newmom….I think JATL can behave herself. Have a Happy Thanksgiving and I will save you an olive ;>/.
FYI…and off topic: I personally do not care if children have a paci until they are 12…I have just learned the statistics from the SLPs and Orthodontists. Some were complete strangers that I met and learned something from…which is what I mentioned to Photius yesterday! Amazing but true!
rottieboy
November 24th, 2010
8:25 am
This was an assault, a crime, arrest her end of subject.
Scrooge
November 24th, 2010
8:36 am
She should be waterboard………Then sent to a workhouse.
Lori
November 24th, 2010
8:37 am
Dear “Really?”, you comment was just as racist as the other! If you see racism where ever you go, then YOU are the racist, not everyone else. I can’t understand why some people don’t see that a person of ANY color can be racist!!!
I agree the mother should have some punishment. Jail may be a bit harsh, but at a minimum the judge should make her apologize, attend some anger management classes and perhaps serve some community service. I think serving the parks association in that area would be appropriate. What message is the child going to receive seeing her mother get away with no consequences. What is sad is that her daughter will probably be the one who suffers. I’d imagine that the soccer association would bar her from registering next season because of this. I know the soccer folks where I live would. They are pretty strict as far as parental involvement and have no problem removing unruly parents and their children from the playing field and/or the team.
catlady
November 24th, 2010
8:49 am
MJG–Yeah, I know, but wouldn’t it be FUNNY if we did that? Have a happy time with your family! I am off to the lake in a couple of hours!
Denise
November 24th, 2010
8:53 am
She should have been arrested and it should not be too late for her to be picked up. I also agree that if she would have been a MAN, the police would have tracked him down and arrested him in the confessional as his church if that is where they found him.
deidre_NC
November 24th, 2010
8:57 am
lmao @ catlady….gotta get to work but willl post later lol ( i really needed that laugh today lol)
BluebellJones
November 24th, 2010
9:07 am
I don’t think “Really?” is making things up about racism. I don’t know where this ‘black people are more racist than white ones” meme came from but it makes all of you look stupid. It’s conservative spin used when defending themselves from being (rightfully) called racist. Just for the record, Forsyth county is famously segregated. So I do think the slapper mom was white. White trash. She should be fined $10,000 and do a big bunch of community hours, with the caveat that she be no where near a sports field. Also she should be banninated from all future games.
You people think that jatl can behave herself? You’ll be lucky to get a word in edgewise. You could invite ME! I’m a great person with lots of interesting stories to tell and totally not a blowhard. I am a little tough on idiots but that could be entertaining as well.
Also, any twelve year old who still sucks on a pacifier is going to get his ass kicked. Try to stay within the
confines of reality.
Really?
November 24th, 2010
9:34 am
Dear Lori,
Knowing how to see racism where it truly exists does not equivocate me being racist. Calm down and re-read my post, dear. I did not say that “I see racism wherever I go.” YOU said that for me, and I certainly don’t need some anonymous poster who doesn’t know me from a can of paint to put words in my mouth. I said that I am intuitive enough to know WHEN I see it, which also means that I am intuitive enough to know when race is NOT a factor in a situation. None of us posters were there when the soccer incident happened. Given information that was not supplied in the article, who are we to say that race is a factor in this case? I’d say that the suspected troll BlackGeorgian succeeded in polluting a perfectly good blog by inciting race-biting comments. By the way, my mother is black and my father is white, and I was reared by both in the same household. I have black and white family members and friends who I love dearly on all levels – not just on the surface. I am not a racist. Get a clue and stop being so sensitive. And for goodness’ sake, learn how to think critically before blowing your gasket on an emotional response. Happy Thanksgiving.
Signed,
Really?
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:36 am
Uh bluebell.. . I think the rest of us can handle ourselves, as far as talking and I would enjoy meeting JATL.
I have a good friend ( out of state) who I call all the time. I spoke with her yesterday and she tells me, ” my friend _______ asked about you…she was in the car with me once when you called and you basically did the talking for ONE HOUR. We pulled into my driveway and you were still talking. She thought it was amazing.” So, we’ll be fine IMHO!
Jeff
November 24th, 2010
9:37 am
Happy Thanksgiving momblog friends. Be safe.
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:42 am
@bluebell….part 2….
I am being sincere here….typically you invite someone on the blog to join you for lunch and not the other way around. I have done so with several here and it has been a lot of fun. I have made some new friends and had a conversation with a total stranger that was actually interesting. Most lunches last for 2 hours or so. Try it and see!
DB
November 24th, 2010
9:42 am
@Joe: A little-known fact is that, in club soccer, a coach is generally considered to be responsible for the behavior of the player’s parents. Often, if a parent is getting out of hand, a referee will stop play and ask the coach to deal with the parent. The fastest way to deal with an unruly parent, unfortunately, is to take their child out of play, and that’s usually the hammer coaches use on parents who are misbehaving. Nothing is more effective than a parent having to explain to their child that they didn’t get to play because the parent was acting like an idiot! In the case of a parent yelling at a referee and then the child yelling, the child should have gotten a red card, not a yellow, under the category “Offensive, insulting or abusive language.” and the referee should have written up the child AND the mother as a spectator disruption. That would have ejected her from the game and meant that she’d be sitting out at least one more game, if not more, depending on the decision of the state’s D&P committee (who review all card reports each week). I remember one game where the parents were so unruly, the referee turned in a report on the ENTIRE TEAM’S PARENTS and they all had to show up for a hearing or else risk expulsion!
@catlady, I got a great laugh out of your word-picture of several people sitting around the table coming to blows over parenting issues! I have to confess, though, I’d be more likely to simply move my dessert to another table and sit back and watch the catfight! :-)
As far as BlackGeorgian goes — folks, the easiest way to get rid of trolls is not to feed them.
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:43 am
You too Jeff…our menu includes so many things that I may have to walk everywhere for the next few weeks. Hugs to you!
BluebellJones
November 24th, 2010
9:43 am
Well, if you want to hear her blather on about her husbands sperm count be my guest. Maybe if you drink a whole lot. She’s a bit of a grandstander and a bit of a snob. Well, I guess you could make her pay. I guess this means I can’t come. Too bad. I was looking forward to seeing if any of you knew four syllable words.
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:45 am
DB…that’s it…next time I am coming with ammunition….LOL..be safe and I will see again!
BluebellJones
November 24th, 2010
9:46 am
Also, motherjonesgoose, you can’t think that I was actually serious?
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:47 am
@ bluebell….I can assure you that DB and catlady know MUCH MORE THAN I KNOW and that includes words I have never even heard of. The others are intelligent too. Perhaps you should invite them yourself and see if they take you up on it!
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
9:52 am
@ Bluebell….good, because you were not on my short list as I do like everyone else I have met from this blog and you have made some cuts towards them. Maybe you could start your own fan club as some might adore you …readers?
Outta here. Sorry for the interruption to the topic everyone else. Have a great day!
FYI it is not motherjonesgoose and never has been….you may want to check it out.
BluebellJones
November 24th, 2010
9:53 am
motherjanegoose, you are a sweet person. Have a good Thanksgiving.
Ghostrider
November 24th, 2010
9:58 am
If she had slapped me in the face and busted my lip I would have knocked the &*#@)on her @%%.
DB
November 24th, 2010
10:00 am
@BluebellJones: Please don’t make the mistake of extrapolating a few comments on a public blog as actually knowing a person. As with any sort of internet communication, we all share parts of ourselves that we are comfortable with the rest of the world having access to, but you shouldn’t make the assumption that those parts that are shared are the sum total of that person’s personality. For example, I am trying very hard not to assume that you are a supercilious bitch. :-) I’m sure you don’t mean to come across that way. I’m quite certain that I would enjoy meeting the vast majority of the folks on this blog, and learning more about their lives, their talents and their views on topics that aren’t related to parenting. I may not agree with some views, but between people of good will, there is always room for polite disagreement. I know that I have vastly enjoyed my numerous lunch dates with MJG — she is witty, opinionated, intelligent and can tell the heck out of a story – and I admire her willingness to put herself out there and get to know perfect strangers.
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
Ghostrider
November 24th, 2010
10:02 am
Get ‘er done Ghostrider! Haha.
Soccermom23
November 24th, 2010
10:04 am
Unless the referee files charges, there’s nothing legally that can be done. however, the LSA Sharks club can take action against a parent – especially if they have what every other soccer club has (or should have) a Player and Parents code of conduct that all must sign prior to a season starting. Because this is also an Acadmey level team, the GA Youth Soccer Association can get involved is the opposing club files a formal complaint with the state – which they can do. I believe the tournament can also file a complaint with the state association.
But unless the individual she slapped files charges, there’s nothing more that can be done form a legal standpoint. And frankly, kudos to the referee for NOT taking up the time and expenses of the local police department for a crazy mother. Let the club deal with her – they know who she is.
I’ve seen some wild stuff on the field. from the refs and parents. It’s not worth it, folks, it’s a game and every time an adult acts like an idiot, it’s a terrible example for our kids!
bunch of yentas
November 24th, 2010
10:10 am
She will face consequuences regardless of an arrest. Her child will grow up socially maladjusted and she will be the butt of disdain from all the other suburban Yentas in her gated community.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_2lGkEU4Xs
catlady
November 24th, 2010
10:19 am
How about child abuse charges? Not that she hit a kid, but her behavior had a negative effect on the children who witnessed it?
Best to all here–have a wonderful and safe time! MJG–see you in a few weeks!
PhotoMomof4
November 24th, 2010
10:24 am
@catlady – good point on the child abuse charges. Typically if a child witnesses a criminally violent act (which this surely was), then the additional charges added on would be cruelty to children. As many counts as there were children to witness it. I don’t know of any athletic team, department, etc that doesn’t have a zero tolerance rule in place. Simple. Press charges AND ban her from any future athletic events. Even up here in the mountains, we believe in that.
BluebellJones
November 24th, 2010
10:24 am
DB, I do mean to come across as a supercilious bitch. I am your acid test. Seriously. MJG just passed it, although there was some back peddling there at the last. This has nothing to do with me judging MJG, this is about recognizing the open kindness MJG showed me, even though my persona (and it IS a persona) on this site is particularly mean. Now everyone will know that she is a forgiving and generous person. Maybe most people already did but it’s set in cement now.
I know, I shouldn’t treat you guys like lab rats. I just wanted to see who would turn the other cheek.
Happy Thanksgiving
Bluebell
DB
November 24th, 2010
10:27 am
@Soccermom23, there’s no question that Georgia Youth Soccer “can” get involved. After all this publicity, I can almost guarantee that they WILL get involved, if for no other reason than pour encourager les autres, so to speak. :-) Nobody physically assaults a referee and gets away with it. It’s hard enough to keep referees — if you don’t defend them and deal harshly with those who feel free to smack ‘em, you’ll soon find yourself short of referees! As I said earlier, though, it’s probably moot — at that age level, she’ll probably just jerk her kid out of soccer out of sheer humiliation and they’ll never see her again. Problem solved.
What might be interesting is if Ga. Soccer instituted fines against clubs whose parents misbehaved. :-) I suspect that clubs would be a lot more forceful about encouraging and educating parents in good sportsmanship.
GA Mom
November 24th, 2010
10:50 am
She should be strung up by her toes, and put on death row with all the other hardened criminals…show no mercy for this Slap…..
Jenna Jameson
November 24th, 2010
11:03 am
I am a mother from the other team playing last Sunday. First, the story is pretty accurate. One thing, it wasnt a slap, it was a closed fist punch to the face. The kids on our team thought is was pretty embaraceing. “if my mommy did that, i would be so embarrassed”. What i think is embarrassing is that the Cumming police are not going to file criminal charges. If i punched someone the police would arrest me. why wont they arrest her?
Wayne
November 24th, 2010
11:08 am
Jenna Jameson?
Michelle
November 24th, 2010
11:18 am
Unbelievable! What is she trying to show her child? Bullying? That’s not standing up for yourself or your child! HELLO…it’s a sport…you’re bound to get hurt at some time or another!
I really like the idea of public service. I think she should have to serve in an area where she has to watch the effects of abuse…perhaps that will open her eyes a little!
CatLady…I laughed out loud about the moms at lunch! That was a great comment! It made my day (scary huh?!)
Well ladies, it’s been fun! I’ll try to stay on here once I get up to VA, but no guarantees!
Have a GREAT Thanksgiving!
HB
November 24th, 2010
11:27 am
Nothing to say here that hasn’t already been said, but Happy Thanksgiving to all!
GA Mom
November 24th, 2010
11:48 am
I think a public apology and some community service would be enough.
GA Mom
November 24th, 2010
11:48 am
Since she knows so much about soccer, maybe she should do some volunteer ref’ing……
DB
November 24th, 2010
1:13 pm
@Ga Mom: Oh, hell no, we don’t want her as a volunteer referee! Besides, the referees are not volunteers — they are paid by the leagues, and they have to undergo a certification test (not as easy as you might think), as well as annual recertification classes and exam.
Lori
November 24th, 2010
1:13 pm
Where in the story did it say the girl’s mom was white. Why is that the assumption? Forsyth does have all kinds of people living there.
Lori
November 24th, 2010
1:15 pm
DB, referees are NOT always paid by the leagues. I’ve been to some of my sons games where the ref was a 16 year old boy who also plays soccer for the league on the elite team.
Denise
November 24th, 2010
1:17 pm
Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
Lori
November 24th, 2010
1:18 pm
Really, “Being a person of color, I’ve learned to see things that whites either ignore or are ignorant to because those things don’t affect them. That’s not me being paranoid or unrealistic or hypersensitive or pulling the race card. It’s me being intuitive.” That sounded like a racist comment to me, regardless of your multi-racial background. What you call intuition sounds more like stereotyping all whites as ignorant of things “that don’t affect them”.
JATL
November 24th, 2010
1:42 pm
@MJG – Ha! I do realize you have to come ITP to reach the airport, but I wasn’t sure you actually ventured in any other time! I’ve gotten myself into a mess of schedule lately, and it’s hard for me to travel too far away for lunch most days. That’s why I was asking! I haven’t even gotten to check hotmail today, do I don’t know if you got my email address or not. At any rate, I do think we can suitably behave ourselves!
@catlady- LOL! I do think it would be hilarious to see that headline, but hopefully about moms fromanother blog! I certainly wouldn’t be surprised!
@MJG, I know it’s really hard, but try not to feed that troll!
Happy Thanksgiving blog folks! Perhaps someone will even throw the trolls a turkey bone to gnaw.
Oh yeah, as far as the topic – pathetic! Not surprising, but pathetic. She should have been arrested and charged a large fine and community service, plus a public apology to the ref and both teams.
DB
November 24th, 2010
2:04 pm
@Lori: I hate to disagree with you, but just because the kid was in the league, doesn’t mean that he can’t be a paid referee, too. As I said, my son started refereeing at 11. At 12, he was centering U-10 rec games. If a kid went to the classes, took the test, got the patch — he’s a referee, and I can almost double-dog guarantee that he was being paid. These kids do this because they love soccer, they know it, and it’s an easy job for them to fit in, because they can accept assignments around their own games and they are generally only on weekends. Very few kids have the time or the inclination to take on that thankless job for free!
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
2:35 pm
Back home and staying home until Saturday. The traffic by the MOG is ridiculous.
Before I left, I called DB and mentioned that I need to sign up for a word a day with her. I ALWAYS learn new words from her. She told me she was waiting for my call and we both laughed.
JATL…I worked ITP for 9 years and so I kinda still know my way around. We ate at Fat Matt’s Rib Shack last week. Food good but too crowded for us. The dining area would fit in our garage. I would do it for take out if we lived closer.
It may be a while before we hear from Theresa…we will see.
BluebellJones…I guess I will say thanks for your vote of confidence….there are some on the blog that love to hate me. Sometimes ( for me) it is difficult to read between the lines and figure out what folks are saying. Actually, I do not know that some folks even know themselves what they are saying as they are about as clear as mud here.
I am thankful for the new friends I have made off of this blog ….an interesting group for sure.
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
2:37 pm
Comment gone….it may never show up now as TWG is probably cooking until tomorrow…LOL
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wayne are y’all having mac and cheese….;)
Wayne
November 24th, 2010
3:10 pm
No mac and cheese here! Although…
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2010
4:17 pm
@ Wayne…I asked you about it yesterday and wondered if you had read what I wrote.
We are having grilled salmon tonight…methinks the original Pilgrims may have had some fish?
Probably not salmon though. I doubt they ate mac and cheese but who knows?
SoccerMom23
November 24th, 2010
9:43 pm
@DB – excellent idea about fining the clubs for behavior like that. It probably won’t happen, though – there are some very rich and powerful soccer clubs in this metro area they pretty much can strong arm GA Soccer for what they want.
And yes, the ref that was assaulted was being paid – this was a tournament for Academy/Select teams and most refs get at minimum $50 per game. As a parent, what I see that frustrates me is the younger inexperienced refs tend to get the younger girls games and since this was a U10 girls game, it’s evident that parents there can get quite intimidating. I’m glad it was a 30 year old ref not some 15 year old kid.
What irks me is when we get some teenager who either looks and acts bored the entire time and misses fouls or who gets so scared they don’t call anything for fear of pissing off the parents. Its a daunting responsibility and maybe the state needs to rethink letting young refs work during tournaments or with top seeded teams since typically the parents get a little more intense during tournaments or if they are with a club with a high ranked team.
I will say our coach makes a point of having the girls go over and thank the refs after every game and I love that. And at our tournament this weekend, the line ref kept engaging the parents – which was brilliant because who is going to yell at a guy who just talked to you and made you laugh.
SoccerMom2010
November 24th, 2010
10:09 pm
I believe EVERYONE needs to be reminded that there are 2 sides to every story. Unfortunately, the side of the story of the events that lead up to the event has not been told. The parents had already made a formal complaint during the halftime period on Saturday game when this referee got completely out of hand. The AR knew him by first name due to having multiple complaints about him, she came over and watch the remaining game. He had already yellow carded a player for asking what call was made so that she could set up the ball. She stated that she could not hear well and did not understand what he said. Evidently, he felt she was questioning his officiating and carded her..This was not the case. He spent more time by the parent sideline than being in proper position to make the calls throughout the game. He made unappropriate comments to the girls. Needless to say, the parents were a bit surprised that he came on the field to referee the Sunday game. Within 3 minutes, he was already out of hand in making calls. Several of the ‘other’ team’s parents even stressed this point. They couldn’t believe his actions and how ridiculous he was acting. He kicked a parent off the sidelines because the parent and the opposing team parents were jokingly agreeing with the ironious call he had just made. There again, if he had been in proper position, he would not have heard any comments between the guys. He approached the guys and invited the confrontation. At this point, another parent headed back to go get supervisory assistance again from the AR. A child then took a ball to the stomach and went down. She was crying and appeared to be hurt. A number of parents began yelling at the ref that the kid was down. He should have known this already as many different player were “taking a knee” during the play. He glanced back at the child and said “play on”. Somewhere along the way, with all the spiteful comments, everyone has forgotten that this is a 8 or 9 year old child. Who was to say she wasn’t hurt? Typically there is a lot more compassion in the younger age brackets. But to set something straight, it was not the child’s mother who came on the field. It was another caring mom. Whether it was wrong or right for her to come on the field or to slap the referree is not the only issue in the situation. After a complaint had been made against this referree the day before, he should never been allowed to referree another one of their games. His job was to remain neutral while ref-ing the game and he spent more time “hanging out” by the parent’s sidelines than being in position to do his job. Tension had already overcome him in less than 3 minutes from the beginning play. And yes to everyone, obviously the AR realized that they had a problem with him or they would have disqualified the team. Instead, they got another referee to come and finish the game which consisted of all but 9 minutes.
DB
November 25th, 2010
4:17 am
@soccermom23: if your center was making $50 for a U-10 center, it’s a wonder you don’t have every referee in the area beating a path to your door!! Most referees are paid about double the age group for a center, and age $5-7 for a side. Young referees have to get experience somewhere, and after rec games, the next up is U-10 Academy games. Fact of life – everyone at that age is learning, including parents and often referees. Plus, tourneys are grueling for refs – because of the shortage, you often find refs working 4-5 games a day. Y’all have two games and are beat – the referees at the last two games are tired, sore, cold/hot and getting increasingly cranky :-)
And frankly, even if you DO give a U-10 team a great ref, they don’t know what to do with them. At one game, we had a Grade 4 referee who stepped in to cover for an injured ref (yes, refs get injured, too). Other off-duty refs came to watch his superb game management skills, and he called a beautiful game . . . except one mother was peeved that her little darling was called for a foul (deservedly). She made a very snotty comment about that “stupid” referee. All the watching refs snickered, and when she kept on, I decided to take pity on her and told her that the referee was a level 4 (most refs are 8 or 9, you have very few 7’s because of the rigorous test and observations you have to undergo, and you work your way uop to 1 and 2, if you are interested in refereeing national pro games. Level 4’s are rare in Georgia – less than 10, if that many). This woman’s response? “I don’t care if he’s a level 20, he couldn’t referee his way out of a paper bag!”.
Sometimes, there’s just no fixin’ stupid. :-) She had a wonderful opportunity to watch and learn, but nooooo – she had watched 20 youth soccer games and knew it all. *snort*
I also think that every league should sponsor a parents vs. Kids game, and let the parents spend a little time on the field trying to read the flow of the game, anticipate the ball, take an inadvertent header, and generally run your butt off for almost an hour. It would shut up a lot of the parents who feel compelled to “remote control” their kids by screaming “KICK IT!” Being in the middle of the field and getting whomped up side the head with a well-placed ball gives you a whole new appreciation for what those kids are learning!
Sandra
November 25th, 2010
7:33 am
Soccer (football in UK) is different here. My husband has been a volunteer ref at our son’s (9 years old) games several times. Soccer is very important here. When the world cup was on and England played the US, I had to go outside to garden as I couldn’t stand the stress but I always knew how the game was going because I could hear the men in most of the houses around me. It’s a wonder they all didn’t have heart attacks.
I think the woman who hit the ref should be arrested. There is no call for that kind of behavior esp. in front of kids.
lockherup!
November 25th, 2010
8:24 am
Some things you can still profile and be accurate, angry soccer mom is one of them. I’ve been involved in my kids soccer for 15 years now, trust me this woman was white. We average 2 awkward situations a year and they ALWAYS involve white women.
If the referee reads this or if you know him, please encourage him to prosecute! Put this woman behind bars for the holidays.Ultimately, she will pay a fine and do comm. service, but it might serve to dissuade, if slightly, the next angry, white, entitled woman who arrives at every game loaded for bear. Her child will play the entire game at her position of choice. Her child will not be fouled and her child will score and her childs team will win.
After 15 years of this, the amazing thing is that very few of these kids ultimately play soccer in high school? as soon as they have a little bit of independence from hte mother from hell, they bolt.
catlady
November 26th, 2010
9:28 pm
Or perhaps the ref should not be allowed to judge any other games until he reports the assault to the police (we gotta take care of our refs, for the sake of the game and the kids!)
The teacher in me wonders if this same woman expects to solve all her daughter’s other problems with violence, and what she thinks should happen to someone who assaults her daughter the way she assaulted the ref? Of course, she will probably sputter that the ref “made” her do it.
Some of the students I have had who had the most problems getting along with others, I put to this test: You have to tell me what YOU did. The sentence has to start with “I…” You might be surprised at how few kids like that can do it. Oh, they can say, “He..” but absolutely cannot just tell me what THEY did. Try it sometimes, folks. If your two children are having it out, separate them and have each of them tell you what THEY did before they can tell you what the other guy did.
I had a fifth grader 10 years ago who absolutely COULD NOT admit what he had done. Simply couldn’t say the word “I” first in the sentence. He always had a pseudo-reason for his attack on another kid, but could not say what action he had taken before, during, or after. Talking to his mom, it was clear where he had learned to “justify” his assaults. She thought I was being “mean” in expecting him to own up to his actions. (He ended up in juvie before he was 14.) (This is the same mother who told me he had had such bad luck–that every teacher since kindergarten had “been against him.”) I am telling this because if this woman is identified (and should be by one of the parents who witnessed this) she should be given this test–to make a sentence with the word “I” at the beginning. Bet she can’t.
brin
November 27th, 2010
4:47 pm
Geeez, what is happening to our society ? It seems it has been going on for sometime now. What ever happened to being polite and courteous ? Of course the lady who stuck the ref should be punished, she was the aggressor and there is never an excuse for violence except in self defense.
Those bringing in the race card should be ashamed of themselves ! Those that play the race card will never get anywhere and will pass on their victim status to their children and the rest of the society will leave them behind. MLK chanted ..we shall overcome..I never heard him chant ..We shall claim to be victims..Get a life !
JoDee
November 27th, 2010
8:48 pm
Somebody blasted me a week or so ago a because I said that there are few crazy parents on the sidelines at children’s running events. Does anybody ever slap the timer guys at the finish line of a footrace?
lockherup!
November 28th, 2010
8:49 am
Brin, nice argument, but you made a huge assumption that those of us that profiled this woman to be white must not be white. I am white, but I call it like I see it. For 15 years of youth soccer, the person that will consistently challenge other parents, coaches and refs, both vocally and physically is the sterotypical, spoiled white woman. I would challenge you to go to ANY metro atlanta soccer complex and observe it, not pretty!
motherjanegoose
November 28th, 2010
9:59 am
@ brin…what is happening to our society is that everyone is thinking only of ME . Children are observing this behavior and it is being passed down to them. Manners are obsolete…sad but true.
When I meet a child that is polite…I am amazed and quite thankful that a parent actually took time to instill manners in their child…not as common as it used to be.
Genteel…not so much!
SocMan
November 28th, 2010
11:04 am
I worked a game with this referee this weekend. First. the lady was wrong to hit him. BUT, I found out he has been suspended from refereeing in TN AND KY for being a jerk to fans and players. IF you read the article closely you will see he had proeblems with other fans during this tournament. Prosecute the lady, never have the referee in GA again!
LaLaLa
November 29th, 2010
8:07 am
A bit off topic, but… I refereed youth club, middle and high school, and women’s adult league soccer for 4 years. Finally quit after I saw coaches inciting their girls and boys to physically hurt the other teams’ players. One girl in middle school aimed a strong kick at another players shin and broke her leg. The offender just laughed and the coach rewarded her with a “way to go!” And yes, you can tell when it is intentional, especially if you have played the game, like I did for 15 years before taking up refereeing.
DB
November 29th, 2010
10:14 am
@LaLaLa: Sorry you quit — experienced referes that can throw the book at crap like that are what is needed on the field. I can tell you right now that D&P would have nailed to the wall any coach who encouraged that kind of behavior, but they can’t address it if it isn’t reported.
will we get a follow up report
November 29th, 2010
1:32 pm
I fall on the opinion that she should be arrested. The question is will the ajc or the local news media give a follow up? If this story goes away, then we can pretty much be sure that nothing happens. The police in North Fulton and Forsyth county act like they are afraid to arrest and the DA afraid to prosecute their residents. Remember the group of boys who broke into over 100 cars and was selling the items on e-bay. We are talking burglary and rackeeterring charges, did they even get convicted? AJC never followed up on that story. Or the Forysth teens send “sexting messages”, did they get prosecuted under Georga sex laws like the kid in Douglas county who had consensual relations with a fellow teenager?
It is not a race issue as much as a class issue when the appearance is there are two sets of standards for application of the law. This mother should have been arrested period and as a man, let me go slap a female referee and leave the scene. I bet I would be arrested whether she took out a warrant or not.
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November 30th, 2010
1:19 am
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