Momania Flashback: Could you have sex for 30 consecutive days?

This is the last in a series of stories to celebrate the five-year anniversary of Momania. We are flashing back to some of our favorite columns and blogs. The 30-Day Sex Challenge brought everyone out! I never know what to expect on the blog. There were some ladies who were game and other who were exhausted already. I love it when the men chime in too, and they did on this topic of course!

By Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

A church in Florida wanted to help married couples deal with the major problems in their lives: money and sex.

The church set up a financial series to help address the fiduciary issues.

And, for their sexual problems, the church challenged the married couples to have sex at least once a day for 30 continuous days. The challenge began in mid-February.

The pastor of the Relevant Church in Tampa, Fla., says that God wants married couples to have sex. His church believes that by increasing intimacy the couples will increase communication. The theory is if the couples have sex for 30 days then sex would become a habit.

This is normally the part of the column where I write about my own experiences, but my husband has begged me not to write about our sex life. So instead, I talked to five metro-area moms to see what they thought of the 30-Day Sex Challenge and if they thought it would improve their marriages. All of the moms I spoke with have been married at least 10 years and all have at least two kids.

The first mom I talked to (let’s call her Mom A) couldn’t stop laughing when I told her the concept. “Well, that would get old after Day 1,” she quipped. “Let’s see Monday night is TV. Tuesday is laundry. Let me tell you all the other reasons why we don’t.” She said he needs to get to her by 8 p.m. if there’s a chance of sex, but that means stopping their daily chores. For example, the other night they chose to work on their taxes instead of having sex. (They’re getting a refund.)

All the women I talked with agreed that their husbands would like to have more sex. However, the wives cited tiredness, chores and, oddly, feeling full after dinner as reasons why they didn’t. They also mentioned being touched all day by their children so they didn’t want to be touched at night.

Many of the women thought the 30 days would be like when they were trying to get pregnant.

Mom B, who is currently pregnant with her third child, said “I’m having a hard time getting my mind around it. Is it going to be like when you’re trying for a baby? Is the goal just to get it accomplished even if you’re not into it?”

Mom B also had logistical issues with the idea of planning on having sex for 30 days. For example, she said, the other night her daughter came into their bedroom and threw up in the bed. She said that would pretty much ruin any sex plans that night.

The biggest upside Mom B saw to having sex every night was that she would be sure to get her kids to bed on time and her family would be on a tighter schedule.

Another mom (Mom C) recently cancelled her maternity insurance to help save money. She was concerned 30 days of sex would increase her chances of getting pregnant and in turn her out-of-pocket expense. Mom C, whose children aren’t in school yet, said, “Staying at home with kids is such a physically demanding job. If my husband expects dinner on the table and the house to be cleaned, then I am done when the kids are in bed. I don’t want to have to do something else for someone.”

Mom D wanted to clarify if the sex had to be with the same man all 30 days. (We told her yes!) She said she thought she and her husband could have easily done it before kids, but now there are just too many other things to do. “We’re done. We have children. We’re good.”

Only one mom out of the five (Mom E) thought she could easily fulfill the 30-day requirement and she was the one who seemed to be having sex the most regularly already — several times a week. When asked how she accomplished it, she said, “I don’t sleep and it shows, but that’s what happens. Something is given up and it tends to be sleep.”

But she does believe, as did all of the women I spoke with, that sex if good for your marriage. “Any time you bring a husband and wife together it’s a connection. If you go several weeks without having it, it becomes easier to lose the connection all together. Without that connection, money and all the other typical reasons why parents get divorced become bigger.” She added, “Or at the very least you have a good 15 minutes.”

More Momania Flashbacks

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RJ

October 29th, 2010
8:13 am

This would be impossible since mother nature visits every 3 weeks.

Photius

October 29th, 2010
8:36 am

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Time for the end of Momania’s 5 year flashback’s – new material needed please.

Hmmm

October 29th, 2010
8:51 am

@RJ – Unfortunate for you but Mother Nature’s “visit” doesn’t have to stop anything; it certainly doens’t make it “impossible”!

Jeff

October 29th, 2010
9:14 am

I can have sex for 30 straight days if you can shop for 30 straight days. From how I’ve heard some women describe shopping, it’s pretty much the same deal.

RJ – use a little imagination.

PhotoMomof4

October 29th, 2010
9:18 am

This is definitely possible. The moms TWG talks about all said they were tired. It sounded like they were the only ones in the home doing any of the household chores. Its amazing when both the husband and wife work together to get the chores done how intimacy is easier. They feel appreciated, they’re working together, and they have more time.

Becky

October 29th, 2010
9:25 am

@RJ..Mother nature doesn’t visit everyone monthly..Like Jeff said, use some imagination..

@Jeff..I can shop for 30 straight days..:~)

Would I really want to have sex for 30 straight days, probably not..In my opinion that’s only happens when you are in the new stages of a romance..

Jeff

October 29th, 2010
9:33 am

Becky, I’m with you. I wouldn’t actually WANT to have sex for 30 straight days, but I COULD.

JJ

October 29th, 2010
9:41 am

Sex….hmmmmm I think I remember that…….

Kate

October 29th, 2010
9:49 am

My husband showed me some list of ways to improve your marriage that had a similar suggestion. He was super excited to try it! Of course the same list also suggested you go a week without sex also. He didn’t seem too interested in trying that one though. I showed him the following article in response, but I’m pretty sure he ignored it:

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2010/08/16/fox-sex-ways-wife-sex/

RJ

October 29th, 2010
9:51 am

Thank God I am married to a WONDERFUL man that understand that I DO get a monthly visit from mother nature and it’s quite uncomfortable. After 21 years (which is more than half of my life) of being with the same person, he understands me and respects the fact that it literally makes me sick sometimes. With all these imaginative people, why is the divorce rate so high? But hey, I wouldn’t know because my parents have been married 40 years, my in-laws 61, and me 15. Maybe we use more imagination than most!

Becky

October 29th, 2010
10:03 am

@RJ..Sorry if you were offended, that was not my intention..I on the other hand suffered for many years with female problems and sex was a great way to ease my cramps..I have been with my husband for 17 years,so I think he understands me also..

deidre_NC

October 29th, 2010
10:08 am

anyone could have sex every day for 30 days…its just a matter of wanting to…lol–does anyone remember that movie ‘three in the attic’ or something like that?? this made me remember that

CDD

October 29th, 2010
10:21 am

Ready, willing, and able… but my hubby’s not. We go several weeks at a time without sex – I actually can’t remember the last time but I think it’s been 2 weeks at least. The main reason right now is he’s in graduate school so there are plenty of late nights with homework. Also since he’s in school I get 100% of the household stuff. We knew it would be a struggle getting him through school and there would be sacrifices for all of us. Hmmm. Maybe as a graduation “present” to him we could try the 30 day challenge. :) If I don’t explode first.

really

October 29th, 2010
10:27 am

TMI, folks… T.M.I. LOL!!! :D

theresa

October 29th, 2010
10:32 am

all new topics all next week!!!

JATL

October 29th, 2010
10:38 am

This makes me kind of want to puke. Especially in the context of being a challenge issued at church -vomit!

I really enjoy sex and like to have it frequently, and my hubby and I DO use our imaginations, but I’m with RJ on this one. That’s just one of those, “To each their own” things, but NO THANK YOU when Mother Nature is around.

PhotoMomof4 has a great point. When both adults in the home share responsibilities it makes it far more likely that sex will occur. Moms who have to do everything are just too tired.

I just simply have no desire to do much of anything for 30 days straight! I like sex to be exciting and this would be forced. I’m quite sure after the first week it would just be going through the motions -yawn.

bunch of yentas

October 29th, 2010
10:41 am

With the same woman? I guess I could, but I’d rather have sex with 30 women in 1 day, than 1 woman 30 days in a row.

Wayne

October 29th, 2010
10:43 am

@JATL: I’m with you, it wouldn’t be spontaneous – just another chore to do during my very busy day. I enjoy it – when we do it- don’t get me wrong, but for 30 days straight?

Oh look! It’s 8:00 p.m. – let’s go have sex. Okay, that’s done. I’ll put the dishes away. You gonna check the laundry?

JJ

October 29th, 2010
11:02 am

Interesting hearing from the guys…..I would have thought they’d be all for this!!!!

Spacey

October 29th, 2010
11:15 am

@JATL, Why not bring it up in church? If the church talked about more real-life subjects, I might want to go.
I like the idea. If you wait for sex to be spontaneous then your probably not having any.
I think I could do it.

Wayne

October 29th, 2010
11:54 am

I dunno about that Spacey… My wife and I are pretty spontaneous!

I just think that turning it into a chore, or a thing to do everyday would lead to more stress. Not saying I couldn’t do it, but I’m certainly thinking whether or not I would do it.

mom2alex&max

October 29th, 2010
11:59 am

No way. And actually, Theresa, you’d be happy to know that I gave it go when this topic was first posted a while ago. It lasted 5 days. And TMI…I was sore.

Spacey

October 29th, 2010
12:17 pm

@Wayne… I have 2 under 2. Nothing is spontaneous at my house except tantrums and sickness :)
BTW – the kids are going away for the first time on Saturday since the baby was born 5 months ago. Can’t wait. I’ve scheduled in some sex.

JATL

October 29th, 2010
12:30 pm

@Spacey -something about sexual “instruction” or the like from ministers and churches is just slimy to me.

@Wayne -exactly. And I don’t have any issues with planning it or being spontaneous (man, the vasectomy really helped that one) -but 30 days in a row is ridiculous to me. Instead of bringing us closer together, I think I would feel like, “Get the hell away from me!”

Wayne

October 29th, 2010
1:49 pm

Oh man, I never had 2 under 2, but I have 7 and 4. Spontaneous is when we both get to bed at the same time and think, hey, we can!

I would loooove the chance to park the kids somewhere and have a ‘free’ night. You have fun!

I would

October 29th, 2010
2:49 pm

I regret that I has been almost a year since we had sex… We were married almost 9 months before we consumated the marriage. Before that it has been 5 years since we had even tried and about 2 more years since it had been a regular thing.

I would love to try it. However my husband has his reasons and some excuses, some are valid, but still… :(

Has was in a car accident in 2000 and also just had knee surgery.

I will say that his rejection of me has hurt. I have tried lots of things to get his attention. But is like he has just shut that part of him off. I miss what we had, it was a fantasy for most people and I knew we had it good, He is my best friend and now my husband and I will take the bad with the good, but I sure do miss being very good at being bad ;)

Wayne

October 29th, 2010
4:28 pm

What happened to everyone? All out having spontaneous sex?

FCM. on my cell

October 29th, 2010
7:02 pm

U mean with another person right? I would have to find one

catlady

October 29th, 2010
7:31 pm

I think it would be difficult if it became one more thing on the list. Could I spontaneously? Yeah. Would I want the pastor to “assign” it to us? NAOHDB!

JoDee

October 29th, 2010
10:53 pm

I hate scheduled sex. When we were trying to conceive, after the first year or so, it became a burdensome chore ( It took several years and lots of medical intervention to be successful). We used to joke that if we had a baby , we would name it Justin—-as in, Do we have to do it tonight? We’d better, just in case this time it works!”

I am whatever you say I am

October 29th, 2010
10:57 pm

I don’t know if I could go 30 days consecutive, but I sure as heck would like to give it a shot.
This topic is actually getting me “frisky”
I mean I think about sex usually every hour every day so what could the harm be in having it every day.
Yep! i sure would like to give it a try. Sucks I’m single

Cynthia M

October 30th, 2010
12:09 am

Gotta go with RJ on this one – yuck!

Sandra

October 30th, 2010
6:05 pm

I wouldn’t want to do it when the painters are in either or as my husband says, “When Arsenal is playing at home.” – Arsenal is a top English football (soccer) team that wear a red and white kit (uniform) when they are playing at home.