Are we raising a generation of nincompoops?
Can your kids tie their shoes? Can they zip their jackets? Can they use a can opener?
Many kids across American cannot do basic mechanical chores and Associated Press writer Beth Harpaz wonders if we’re raising a generation of incapable kids.
“Second-graders who can’t tie shoes or zip jackets. Four-year-olds in Pull-Ups diapers. Five-year-olds in strollers. Teens and preteens befuddled by can openers and ice-cube trays. College kids who’ve never done laundry, taken a bus alone or addressed an envelope.”
“Are we raising a generation of nincompoops? And do we have only ourselves to blame? Or are some of these things simply the result of kids growing up with push-button technology in an era when mechanical devices are gradually being replaced by electronics?”
“Susan Maushart, a mother of three, says her teenage daughter ‘literally does not know how to use a can opener. Most cans come with pull-tops these days. I see her reaching for a can that requires a can opener, and her shoulders slump and she goes for something else.’ ”
“Teenagers are so accustomed to either throwing their clothes on the floor or hanging them on hooks that Maushart says her ‘kids actually struggle with the mechanics of a clothes hanger.’ ”
“Many kids never learn to do ordinary household tasks. They have no chores. Take-out and drive-through meals have replaced home cooking. And busy families who can afford it often outsource house-cleaning and lawn care.”
” ‘It’s so all laid out for them,’ said Maushart, author of the forthcoming book ‘The Winter of Our Disconnect,’ about her efforts to wean her family from its dependence on technology. ‘Having so much comfort and ease is what has led to this situation — the Velcro sneakers, the Pull-Ups generation. You can pee in your pants and we’ll take care of it for you!’ “
The author of the article was personally affected when a visiting 12-year-old couldn’t get ice out of a regular ice tray as opposed to the automatic dispenser on the refrigerator.
Personally, I am thrilled when my 3-year-old can change from her tap shoes into her ballet shoes by herself at dance class because her 7-year old brother is still mastering tying his shoes thanks to years of Velcro. (Damn you Velcro — so convenient, yet such an enabler!)
When my oldest daughter was in kindergarten I noticed she would still have her jacket on at lunch even though the outdoor temperature had warmed up. I finally realized the poor child didn’t know how to unzip her own jacket!! I had always done it for her out of convenience. (That one is clearly on me! Bad helicopter mother! However, I have made sure the other two children, including the 3-year-old, can zip.)
Through the years teenage babysitters have surprised me with their incompetence in the kitchen. One didn’t know how to use the can opener. Another cooked the pizza when the cardboard still under it and yet another asked if she should boil the corn on the cob still in its husk. I wrote it off to their mothers never cooking at home, but maybe this is about not being exposed to common mechanical tools.
I don’t think this generation is dumb. My 3-year-old knows how to use our digital camera and my 7-year-old downloads movies from Netflix on the computer to the X-Box hard drive to watch later. They create computer games on their own, do algebra in the fourth grade and could make a Power Point presentation in second grade.
I do believe the problem is not the intelligence of the children but with helicopter parents and technology doing things for them.
This may be opening a can of worms but I think that kids who go to day care learn how to zip their jackets, tie their shoes, put on the skates and wipe their bottoms sooner because the day care workers can’t do it for all twenty kids in the class. Because my kids were always home with me I tied their shoes and zipped their jackets (and wiped the bottoms) as we hustled out the door.
I am pleased to say that my second-grader’s class just worked on addressing envelopes last week so I know he can do that one! But now I want to see if my kids can get ice from an old fashioned tray. (I sense a sneaky test coming on!)
So what do you think: Are we raising a generation of incapable nincompoops? Are they actually dumb? Are we doing too much for them? Are we not teaching them basic life skills?
Do you think kids that go to day care learn these everyday life skills better or faster than kids that have stay-at-home moms or dads?
How do you explain he disconnect between the amazing things they can accomplish (like using my smart phone better than me) and the simple things they cannot?
Share with us funny (or sad) examples of stuff your kids can’t do!
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136 comments Add your comment
Stewart Baker
September 29th, 2010
7:16 pm
About cooking corn in the husk. I am 79 and always do it that way. Run the cob under a tap to get moisture into the leaves. Nuke for three minutes max. Best corn ever.
dkmom
September 29th, 2010
7:21 pm
I wanted my girls to be able to take care of themselves, so I made a list of things Everybody Needs To Know. This included not just cooking, sewing, laundry, cleaning, but mowing the lawn, clearing drain clogs, and mowing the lawn.
My mother in law taught my husband basic cooking, laundry and hand sewing for the same reason. Came in right handy in college. My dad taught me to change a tire, change the oil, change air filter, etc because he said I shouldn’t drive a car if I didn’t know how. I taught my girls the same thing – just so they don’t have to say to someone “It’s making a funny noise/smells funny/ steers funny”. I wanted them to sound a little intelligent. I taught them to check air pressure and inflate tires before every long trip, too, because I didn’t want to have to worry. However, I am in agreement about their not trying to change a tire in Atl. Bad idea – they can’t remove a machine-tightened lug not, and neither can I. They both have AAA.
They have had checking accounts since they were 14 and balance their checkbooks (or learn why they should when they don’t). They have credit cards too (added them to one of mine so I CAN look if I want to).
Now that they are in college, I am learning to let them do harder stuff. Both of them are learning valuable lessons in negotiating the bureaucracy of Res Services, the Registrar, the Bursar and Financial Aid. I’m only a phone call away if they need advice or backup, but I’m really proud that they do it on their own. Hopefully, they come out of it able to lease an apartment, keep themselves fed and dressed, fill out forms, get to work on time, and find the right person when they need something.
dkmom
September 29th, 2010
7:21 pm
Oh, yeah, I can tie a tie, too, and so can they.
deidre_NC
September 29th, 2010
7:22 pm
mjg–i read somewhere that even your usage of AAA can cause insurance rates to go up. my daughter has killed her car 4 times running over danged rock slides ( her car is very very low to the ground) and its been $1200 to $1600 everytime we claimed and so far no rise in rates-we have accident forgiveness for claims under a certain amount of $$, because i have a perfect record and been with the company forever etc…now..if and when she gets her own insurance its not gonna be pretty. my kids can change tires but i made sure they know how to safely do it and if it cant be done safely then call someone…people get run over on highways working on cars..where we live isnt too bad in most areas…she goes to atlanta a lot to visit and shop…so i make sure she knows all the safety rules. shes pretty savvy for an 18 yo hillbilly girl :)…ive made dang sure of it…lol
Valstake
September 29th, 2010
7:39 pm
@JJ, I know your ex brother-in-law who posted on FB about the celebrities. As a MLS librarian, I know both the Dewey and LC classification systems, as a college graduate with a double major in both history and geography I have tons of what many would consider “useless” knowledge which has, at times, greatly helped me in life. I also use that technology that is useful to me – why would I master that which I don’t need? Since I know how to operate in the pre-tech world, I’m fine during power failures, which the tech dependent might not be. Parents, teach your children as much as they can, or want to learn. Everything is useful, everything.
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September 29th, 2010
7:50 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Deesha P and Lisa T. Richardson, Chris Wells. Chris Wells said: Then you get awesome articles like this gem http://digs.by/9CIPFV. Go Idiocracy! Go! [...]
34
September 29th, 2010
7:51 pm
I can understand kids not knowing how to do SOME of this stuff…but how do you send a kid to college without showing him how to use a washer and dryer?
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September 29th, 2010
8:13 pm
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Nicole Crutchfield, Chris Dillard. Chris Dillard said: Technology sometimes is a BAD thing http://blogs.ajc.com/momania/2010/09/29/are-we-raising-a-generation-of-nincompoops/ #ajc20k [...]
Harold
September 29th, 2010
9:13 pm
SHAGGY and Fred—Well said friends!
If CHILDREN (a kid is a baby got just in case no one knew) that go to daycare can do all of these things sooner out of necessity, then that ought to teach the “parent/s” something. Our job as parents is to teach/train/guide/direct our children. I have three children that we home-school. Actually only the older two are home-schooled right now as the youngest is just a year old. However both of the older siblings bathe, feed, change diapers and play with the baby. The oldest is nine, and on top of doing her daily chores of taking care of pets and cleaning her room, also does laundry and keeps the main living area clean. Oh yeah, and she also helps mother in the kitchen from time to time by stepping in and cooking breakfast and supper, which actually involves her reading the cookbook and following directions! My middle child also helps keep her room clean, as well as the main living area and the kitchen…she is seven. What it all boils down to is that the priorities of “parents” these days are manicures/pedicures, golf/football, work, facebook, ipods, or whatever technological advances they have in their possessions. Just listen to the way children and adults talk these days. Most people I know cannot say a sentence without saying “It’s just like…” Our country is full of idiots and it is only going to get worse with time. Oh, and just for the record, I work one job making $18/hour. My wife stays home to raise our children as they are our priority. I am currently attempting to go back to school…Law School, after having graduated college almost 13 years ago. And BOTH of my daughters can get ice out of our ice trays (our refrigerator does not currently have an ice maker)!
YesTheyAre
September 29th, 2010
9:14 pm
Excellent Article. Can your kid tie their shoes? The answer: NO! It amazes me that my friend’s four year old son can play video games, but yet can’t tie his own shoes?
I’m 32 with no children and anti-facebook. Your welcome. Anyways, my mom laid down the law at our house. My brother and I had eighteen rules to abide by and we did our own laundry starting at age ten. Our doors were removed if slammed (learned that lesson quickly), we were given cooking lessons at age eleven and if we didn’t finish our dinner it was served to us the next morning. A big one with my mom was the word “bored”. There was/is no such word in her vocab; “there’s always something to do”. “Bored” was NEVER said in her house..unless you wanted to spend hours cleaning or weeding the yard. During the summer (starting in sixth grade) my mom would make me work at my dad’s office answering phones to earn my money for school clothes. Oh.. and I worked during the winter basketball season starting in sixth grade too. Child labor laws have since changed. Too bad. Seriously.
My friends are lazy, selfish parents. I spend more time teaching their children how to take care of themselves both physically and mentally than they care to know. “Oh, thanks so much for taking __ out and teaching him to tie his shoes.” It saddens me to think that yes, these are a bunch of freaking morons, raising a bunch of hindered morons! My friend’s kids have no idea how to do laundry, how to fix anything besides a broken spinner on youtube, and are just generally inept at some of the most important basic life skills.
This article is like the Emperor Wears No Clothes and Beth Harpaz is the little boy. Now everyone can see that this upcoming generation is far beyond “Clueless”.
GradyGram
September 29th, 2010
9:25 pm
Self-sufficiency is the one of the best things you can teach your children. Most of the country would be totally lost in the event of a major power grid failure. Technology is wonderful…but what would you do without it? Could you survive? Basic living skills will never be wasted, and could indeed be life saving at some point. But it has always been true…only the strong will survive. And the strongest are those who have been taught to take care of theirselves, no matter what the circumstances are. I used the scenarios with my own children and now I say the things to my grandsons…What would you do if (fill in the blank) happened? Always good teaching, and learning moments. Sometimes their answers are quite clever, lol.
penguinmom
September 29th, 2010
10:15 pm
I have tried very hard to make my kids do things themselves. I tell them on a regular basis that I won’t be around forever and even if I was, they aren’t going to live with us forever. So, they need to know how to wash clothes, load a dishwasher, cook, clean etc. All but the youngest can make at least one full meal and load/empty the dishwasher, clean the bathroom and run a load of clothes.
I will say that my oldest still doesn’t tie shoes. He ‘knows’ how but has managed to get velcro or elastic shoes for so long that he doesn’t practice it enough to get good at it. My daughter though, mastered this last year with her tap shoes so, I guess he can just get her to do it for him (or learn to do it himself it he is too embarrassed by that idea). I’ve already told him he needs to earn enough money to hire a valet when he is older.
Kids today are amazing on the computer. My youngest (6) was googling Claude Monet and Abraham Lincoln for a class he’s in. (It’s pretty funny to have your 6-year-old ask you how to spell Claude Monet) Plus, he knows how to download pictures from the web into different folders on his computer and can also program a little using a program called Gamemaker.
I do think parents need to make an effort to not do everything for their kids. It may seem like it is saving you time, but in the long run, it is actually costing you time when you don’t have an independent child who can do everything for themselves.
DB
September 29th, 2010
11:08 pm
@YesTheyAre: I had a “bordom box” in my kitchen (an old Kleenex box), and it was filled with about 100 little cards. Each card had a task on it: “Sort clothes,” “Dust living room,” “Sweep Deck,” etc. In about a 1-10 ratio there were a few “treats” in it, too: “Trip to Blockbuster for a movie!” or “Good for one game of ‘Sorry’ with Mom”.
If one of my kids whined, “I’m BORED”, the rule was they had to take a card from the box and do whatever was on it. They had a 1 in 10 chance of having something fun to do — so it wasn’t all punishment.
I had the box for about a month. I never heard “I’m BORED!” again! :-)
Jake
September 30th, 2010
12:05 am
GradyGram this is worth posting twice:
GradyGram
September 29th, 2010
9:25 pm
Self-sufficiency is the one of the best things you can teach your children. Most of the country would be totally lost in the event of a major power grid failure. Technology is wonderful…but what would you do without it? Could you survive? Basic living skills will never be wasted, and could indeed be life saving at some point. But it has always been true…only the strong will survive. And the strongest are those who have been taught to take care of theirselves, no matter what the circumstances are. I used the scenarios with my own children and now I say the things to my grandsons…What would you do if (fill in the blank) happened? Always good teaching, and learning moments. Sometimes their answers are quite clever, lol.
JJ
September 30th, 2010
7:45 am
Valstake – now my curiosity is up. Get my email from Theresa and contact me. I need to know who you are…LOL
YesTheyAre
September 30th, 2010
4:34 pm
@DB You would greatly appreciate my mom! My friend’s four year old was out of control. I explained to her that he was testing both of us and that she could put up with it, but I was done! I got in his face one night (my eyes are scary big when I’m not happy) and let him know that he was going to respect me, his mom and the new house rules. I let him know that the pouting faces went nowhere with me, and that crying was even worse. I’m sure it sounds like I’m the biggest bee on the planet, but his behavior changed after that conversation. I then sat down with my friend and went over the importance of rules, a time-out chair, and rewarding activities.
I am writing this in hopes that other parents out there will step up! Here’s how the four year old’s behavior turned around.
1. Rules of the House- The rules of the house were implemented first off. Rules were typed up and placed on the fridge, with another list on top of the fridge (to write more rules down on). There’s about eleven rules for this young person. He knows every single rule and loves them. PARENTS: make sure the rules are explained and gone over multiple times.
2. The time out chair- Although it is recommend to give time outs (each minute for the age) a 5 minute time out was implemented for this little four year old. He probably spent the first two weeks in the time out chair. After the rules were posted on the fridge, warnings were removed, and if the rules were broken, AUTOMATICALLY his little behind was in the time out chair. BTW parents, there is no talking when a child is in the time out chair. At certain times, however, I did explain (or mom did) to him why he was in the time out chair, and we discussed what he could have done to not EARN a time out. PARENTS: the use of the word “earn” is needed. A child either “earns” a time out or a reward.. they don’t “get it”. Not sure this will make sense to most parents, but it is key in starting behavioral changes.
3. THE POINT JAR- Since it is unfair to always punish a child and offer no reward for good behavior, the “point jar” was implemented in the daily routine. The “point jar” is a clear glass jar (with lid), placed in his sight (but out of reach), and the points are lol..poker chips (no value per color, all colors are one point). Activities that he enjoys were typed up and placed next to the rules. (I color coded the different number of points per activity). There are all different activities, some starting off at just 3 points (a special treat) up to 100 points for a new skateboard! His favorite thing to spend his points on is “game time” “movie time” or “a walk” with mom. (Yes it’s very cute). He even decides if an activity is worth more points! He loves to earn his points and his goal was to have a “time out” free day.. accomplished in just two weeks! He earned 5 points for a full day of no time outs! This awesome behavior has continued, with a time out being a rare occurrence. PARENTS.. it is important the activities list is larger than the rules; this helps the child see rewards first, giving positive motivation to obey the rules. It is also important to have the child place the point (a physical chip is much better than stars or tally marks) in the jar himself/herself. Points need to be given at the time they are earned (helps enforce the positive attitude).. so have points in your pocket and make it known you are carrying them …so the child gains motivation to earn them. At night, count the chips and go over what activities are available for the amount of chips. This system teaches counting, goal setting and responsible spending at a very young age.–The smile that reaches ear to ear when he earns a point is priceless!
4. Removing Commercials- My friend has had trouble in the past while shopping at the store with her son. She’s not the only one.. because I witness out of control children in stores on a daily basis. With her being a single mom and cable being very expensive, she opted for Netflix. This company offers all types of shows for young audiences WITHOUT commercials! She’s noticed a huge difference when taking him to the store (grocery or otherwise). He no longer asks for the treats loaded with sugar… or asks for anything unhealthy for that matter. (He is a heavy-set child; he started thinning out by not eating as much sugar). Also, he no longer desires toys or material objects; spending quality time with mom is much more important to him.
*My friend did end up giving her son a time out in the store. She told me he sat down in the designated time out spot, did his time, and then apologized for his behavior! She said the rest of the time was smooth sailing and she saved money not being distracted.
I hope this helps at least one parent out there, looking to change their child’s attitude and behavior. Thanks for reading my short novel and take care parents! I know it’s not an easy job and there’s no “how to raise a perfect child” handbook.. because they are all individuals. Good Luck!
JATL
October 1st, 2010
9:39 am
Here’s a hint for you parents who can’t seem to locate any “laced” shoes for your wee ones -Converse! My boys have been wearing Chuck Taylors since they were 1 and they make cute girls’ shoes too! They even have a whole line decorated like animals (although some of those are laceless). Most of these shoes have old-fashioned shoe laces,and my kids even like the fact that to easily get them on and off you have to unlace and re-lace, and that you can adjust the fit according to where you stop lacing. There are also plenty of hiking-type shoes and athletic shoes out there with laces, so buy some for your kids or get them some lacing cards and make them practice! Do you really want your kids to fit the saying, “Too dumb to tie his own shoes”?
Lor
October 1st, 2010
11:22 am
Thank God I am a nurse working shift work. My daughter never went to daycare she was always with me or my mom. The good thing is I was often too exhausted to do absolutely everything for her. She is 8 and knows how to do laundry can work a can opener and likes to surprise me with a cup of tea from time to time. She bought me a tea kettle as a gift realizing that’s what it would take if the hot water dispenser stopped working. She can bake a cake. C’mon people college kids who can’t do laundry. That’s just lazy! They don’t want to know ho to do their laundry. All they would have to do is Google it. They Google everything else that appeals to them if they want to figure it out.
saundra ann
October 1st, 2010
11:53 am
Kudos! Great article–long overdue for serious consideration. And, a portion of the responsibility for the “unawareness” belongs to the parent and the teacher. Susan Maushart mentions that her daughter does not know how to use a can opener. Did she, as a mother, show her daughter how to open a can of beans without a flip top? I taught my daughter how to tie her shoes, how to empty and fill ice cube trays, how to zip her jacket, and even how to use a can opener.
There are teens who cannot write their names in cursive. And, lo and behold, they hold a pencil like an ice pick. Where were the first grade teachers when penmanship was introduced–or, is it not part of the curriculum today? Sad, really sad.
Something to ponder: If darkness fell over the earth for an unknown period of time, would your teen be able to use a can opener and warm the beans over a fire they built? And, ask your teens if they know what a clothespin is, an icebox, or a slingshot–to name a few. Yes, we could go on and on and on.
rs woods
October 1st, 2010
12:25 pm
Next time you see your kids struggling with a neck tie, food storage device, or ice cube tray, tell them to consult Google. They probably know how to find information on it better than you do.
DEWSTARPATH
October 1st, 2010
1:18 pm
Wayne – September 29th, 2010
3:10 pm
“@dewstar: I’m missing your point on the DDS.
Have you ever used it? Just curious as to what your point was.”
– Hey, Wayne. To answer your question – Yes, I have used
Dewey – every time I go into a library, whether I’m at the
card catalog or in the stacks. And my point was that it’s easy
to use – gradeschoolers use it all the time.
Pauly
October 1st, 2010
2:03 pm
What a bunch of BS.
It’s not that our children are incapable of these tasks. It’s the fact that our generation has been too lazy to teach our children these tasks when the need arises.
Despite all claims to the contrary, our generation is definitely the most selfish generation. We blame the baby boomers for messing things up before we got here. Now we’re implying that our kids aren’t capable enough to handle tasks that need to be learned? God forbid we take any responsibility.
isrw
October 1st, 2010
3:25 pm
Almost all of the examples mentioned here are essentially about old technology. Sure, kids with automatic ice machines don’t know how to use an old-fashioned tray — but I’m pretty sure they and our writer would be equally challenged by the practical management of an old-fashioned ice box. The use of technologies, even simple ones, isn’t effortless or self-evident. If you’ve never used a hammer for any length of time you won’t know how to hold it to get a good stroke at the nail.
None of which is to say that one couldn’t make the general argument that kids are less independent at the moment, for various reasons. This article unfortunately didn’t do much of a job there. Maybe I’ll have my 17-year-old daughter, who’s getting a significantly better education than I got in High School, talk it over when she gets home this afternoon. It’ll have to wait, though, now that I think about it; she’s organizing a blood drive, and it’s taking up a lot of time she might otherwise have spent learning how to crack ice from a tray….
BB
October 3rd, 2010
9:43 am
It is a parent’s job to see that children are A) nurtured, B) safe, and C) raised to be responsible adults. Some parents forget about “C”. Yes, it takes time to teach children how to do things & patience to make them do it well. Parents must be parents. I speak from experience of raising 3 sons who all knew how to mow the lawn, do the laundry, clean the house, iron and tie their shoes before they left home. They are wonderful, contributing adults, which is what every parent should focus on when raising their children.
ScienceTeacher671
October 3rd, 2010
9:48 am
Don’t know if anyone has mentioned this or not, but you’d be amazed at how many high school students can’t tell time except on a digital clock.
cgatlanta
October 3rd, 2010
10:07 am
I’ll say it; your kids are stupid if they’re 7 and can’t tie their shoes. They’re stupid if they are a teenager and can’t use a can opener.
Stop making excuses for dumb people.
Prime
October 3rd, 2010
10:38 am
This is the same and ongoing question asked by each and every preceeding generation. Unfortunately, the answer is the same…YES! With each generation, there are great tools that make work more efficient so that there can be a better balance of time within the realms of the ‘work-life’. However, these advances may only serve to put mankind one step closer to losing it’s grip on the knowledge about our home planet. I’m fortunate to have had parents that cared enough to show me how to plant a garden, cook, perform rudimentary manual labor (cleaning, tying my shoes, using an ice tray, etc.). These were necessary because along with these tasks there was passed on an understanding at how this planet works as well.
Being a tutor, it’s often sad that my students are frustrated when we have a “no calculator” session. Now don’t get me wrong: we need numerical accuracy, but during a session in learning there is no crime against estimations (students have to develop a working knowledge of our number system). There is even a request by some students to do online session…not a bad idea, but what about the “AHA” moment that come from drawing a picture or the one tonal inflection that inspires a momentary, but great nonetheless, genius.
I’m not saying let’s all stick together in the dark ages, no, what I am saying is this: let’s take the time to explain how all of our advances connect back to the basic knowledge of our planet. The mind is like a muscle – failure to use it causes atrophy. Brain atrophy is the primary qualitatitive characteristic of a nincompoop.
THE BRAIN: USE IT OR LOSE IT!!!
LKS
October 3rd, 2010
12:23 pm
I think that some kids are not learning real life skills at home or at school possibly because their parents weren’t. This is a generation created from a generation that uses the “easy” button.
I think daycare kids may be able to do more but are being raised by someone other than their parents and kids who have a parent at home can be more coddled and sheltered possibly leading to an inability to master simple tasks. The largest problem is with the parents, whether they stay home or send their children to daycare. Kids are not an accessory. What they can or cannot do is a reflection upon the parents. Everybody has the ability to use their body and mind to the best of their ability, it is a choice whether you do or not.
We have taken away accountability and responsibilty from children. I do not advocate letting kids run amok and wild, but they need space to make mistakes. If they never have to do anything, what have they learned? Humans learn from mistakes and sometimes you have to try, try, try again. Schools are focused on teaching for passing grades on the CRCT. Parents who did not learn basic life skills are not able to teach them to their kids.
I guess I got lucky in the parent lottery and chose wisely in the husband contest. My parents did not ask to help me with things, they expected me to ask them. I had chores for which I was given an allowance. I had to buy things with my allownace that I wanted that my parents thought were silly or extras. They provided the basics and the rest was up to me. After a few times of wasting my money on silly things, I learned the value of a dollar. I had a great childhood with great memories. I even had a computer when they came out but never had cable until I installed it in my first apartment when I was 18 for college TV classes. I never missed out on anything important and I know my kids won’t either.
I have 2 kids, 6 and 4, who have great computer skills and other technical skills that are mandatory for their generation. The other things they have are self-reliance and self-respect. They can find their way out of a paper bag and then make a puppet out of it.
We have to allow our kids to fall down now and then, so they can learn to pick themselves up and dust off and hop back on the ride of life.
Francis
October 3rd, 2010
12:57 pm
Really?? You’re surprised that 10-year-old cannot use an ice tray? Quick, how many 30-year-olds can change a tire? What about change his/her oil? How many adults do you know actually use a dictionary rather than spellcheck? How many can multiply or divide fractions without the help of a calculator? Face it, we’re all getting dumber.
Ole Guy
October 3rd, 2010
1:24 pm
We can blame/attribute this level of incompetence to any number of things, from an over-reliance on technology to parental oversight in neglecting to teach the younguns. The sad truth is that kids are simply friqin stupid, lazy and unwilling to get down n’dirty with life’s daily chores. Let’s not go sugarcoating the picture by attributing this sad state of affairs to conditions which are, alas, out of kids’ realm of control.
The early introduction of technology has led kids to believe that the mere process of thinking is completely optional. While parents can blame themselves for being “helicopter parents”, the reality lies in the sad fact that kids choose to be “ostrich kids”, burying their heads in the sands of ignorance and non-curiosity. After all, do kids really need direct instruction in life’s chores? Kids must have always known how to employ fork, knife and spoon, otherwise they wouldn’t be so damn fat…kids must know how to start an automobile, engage the transmission, and navigate their way onto the road, otherwise they wouldn’t rate among the highest in auto fatalities, etc.
It all goes back to the discipline which is sadly lacking in kids’ lives. In its most-basic sense, discipline is nothing more than refined FEAR…the knowlege that a certain mode of behavior is not only expected but REQUIRED; the absence of that behavior WILL lead to unpleasant conditions. Momma mule never had to teach baby mule how to drink water. Baby mule simply “realized” that not getting up and going to the water hole would result in one of those unpleasant conditions…THIRST.
Historically, those species which failed to adapt to environmental conditions simply vanished. If these kids continue to rely upon others to do their biding; if these kids refuse to get down and dirty in tackling life’s daily demands, we’ll all wind up like the dinasaures.
kennesawmommy
October 3rd, 2010
1:29 pm
UMMMM, it’s parenting, mostly. I mean, yes, things are easier and technology is better now, but not teaching your child to tie his/her is your fault as a parent. when you notice that your teenager chooses not to eat something bc he/she cant use a CAN OPENER….well, duh, show them how! the article makes these parents seem lazy to me. technology is great but basic life skills are easy to teach if you are making ANY time for your children. i’d be embarrassed if i was quoted in this article. be a parent. kids arent nincompoops….the parents are MORONS.
kennesawmommy
October 3rd, 2010
1:30 pm
left off “shoe”….not teaching your child to tie his/her SHOE…oops
DLink
October 3rd, 2010
2:05 pm
“Her mother called 911 just as a precaution since she wasn’t sure how badly the girl was hurt and DFACS actually showed up at her house before the ambulance did!” – Kate
Wow… Just Wow.
Must fess up that as a teenager, an administrator pulled me aside (Female) and explained how to tuck my shirt into my underpants to keep it from bunching up at the waist. That was before the military and armed services took care of the rest, for the most part.
Following up with Kate’s comment: I know far too many people who’ve had neighbors call DFCS for revenge of some form or another.
Come on Son
October 5th, 2010
11:38 am
The point was made it was not about intelligence, I agree, but if kids are not given responsibilities, how are they are suppose to learn. I can not tell you how many kids are in my child’s Pre-K class that are still in pull-ups. It is a private pre-k, so they have at least one more year to get it learned. I would hate to think a parent will have to pay 10K-15K for a private kindergarten just because their little one is not toilet trained (of course we all understand the special needs situations).
Mad Russian
October 5th, 2010
11:45 am
As a teacher, I often find myself perplexed by the general lack of skills and the lack of common sense that teenagers seem to possess. Maybe graduating in 1993 from a rural school helped me but my parents definitely taught me about how to do my laundry, cook (which my wife is more than happy to have me do), and to have the willingness to attempt new tasks. Maybe that fact that my father was in the military helped and that my mom is a professional tailor. It seems that the idea of hard work (other than sitting at a computer) has been lost because we as a society have lowered our expectations and expect technology to solve the problem. Become obese, rely on pills or an operation rather than the hard work of exercise. I wish I could recount how many times parents have asked me to teach their child the basic skills of life. It seems that parenting has evolved into the idea that parents need to be cool and friends to their children rather than just being the parent. My parents were always my friends but as they raised me that held me to a standard of expectation and were willing to be the “bad” people when needed. Now that I’m older I do know how cool they are as people.
It’s not about knowing whether or not to tie a tie correctly, but just knowing the basics beyond how to use a cell phone or a computer. Learning to cook for one’s self teaches a person how to survive when money is scarce. When my wife had her job cut and couldn’t find work for eight months, we survived just fine because I cooked all the food (which turns out to be about an 80% cost reduction) and did more local oriented activities. When repairs need to be made to the house, we don’t need to call a repair person every time as we can do things ourselves. If this world comes to a crashing halt, the ones without the basic skills will be the ones that are most in need of help (and the most at risk for being taken advantage of) while those that can think on their feet and make decisions will be able to adjust and survive. It may also be derived from the innate fear people have of their children getting dirty or sick since society has conditioned us to be afraid of so many things that have a near zero chance of affecting us, therefore resulting in our next generation being less likely to have those basic skills.
Technology, from my perspective, is one of the reasons why so many people have become lazy, sick, and obese because it caters to their reluctance to live life. The movie Wall-E provides a funny but realistic picture of humans if we continue to rely on technology to complete our daily chores.
Take your kids outside, make them roll around in a pile of leaves, walk the dog, pick up the poop with a plastic bag, and most of all, get them off of the television or computer so they can interact with people. In the end, they’ll learn all of the skills that they need to survive in this so-called brutal world.
Old School
October 5th, 2010
1:04 pm
We gave our girls and our nieces tool kits for high school graduation- not the wimpy pink girly kind but honest to goodness tool boxes with basic hand tools and assorted tapes and fasteners. Both our girls got power tools for Christmas from their uncle and since I was an Industrial Arts instructor and their dad an accomplished handyman, both learned how to use them quite capably. Our grandson is 5 and we’ve already started teaching him the basics.
We expected our girls to be able to take care of themselves in this uncertain world. That meant a good education, self-reliance, honesty, integrity, and the ability to put in a day’s work for a day’s pay. . . even when that day’s work was anything but easy. Both are happy, successful, and can handle most any challenge that comes their way.
I wonder how many young parents have the same expectations or set the same examples for their own children. I never bought into that empty nest syndrome that seems to afflict some of my friends. I was confident that my girls were prepared because I saw to it they were.