Are we raising a generation of nincompoops?
Can your kids tie their shoes? Can they zip their jackets? Can they use a can opener?
Many kids across American cannot do basic mechanical chores and Associated Press writer Beth Harpaz wonders if we’re raising a generation of incapable kids.
“Second-graders who can’t tie shoes or zip jackets. Four-year-olds in Pull-Ups diapers. Five-year-olds in strollers. Teens and preteens befuddled by can openers and ice-cube trays. College kids who’ve never done laundry, taken a bus alone or addressed an envelope.”
“Are we raising a generation of nincompoops? And do we have only ourselves to blame? Or are some of these things simply the result of kids growing up with push-button technology in an era when mechanical devices are gradually being replaced by electronics?”
“Susan Maushart, a mother of three, says her teenage daughter ‘literally does not know how to use a can opener. Most cans come with pull-tops these days. I see her reaching for a can that requires a can opener, and her shoulders slump and she goes for something else.’ ”
“Teenagers are so accustomed to either throwing their clothes on the floor or hanging them on hooks that Maushart says her ‘kids actually struggle with the mechanics of a clothes hanger.’ ”
“Many kids never learn to do ordinary household tasks. They have no chores. Take-out and drive-through meals have replaced home cooking. And busy families who can afford it often outsource house-cleaning and lawn care.”
” ‘It’s so all laid out for them,’ said Maushart, author of the forthcoming book ‘The Winter of Our Disconnect,’ about her efforts to wean her family from its dependence on technology. ‘Having so much comfort and ease is what has led to this situation — the Velcro sneakers, the Pull-Ups generation. You can pee in your pants and we’ll take care of it for you!’ “
The author of the article was personally affected when a visiting 12-year-old couldn’t get ice out of a regular ice tray as opposed to the automatic dispenser on the refrigerator.
Personally, I am thrilled when my 3-year-old can change from her tap shoes into her ballet shoes by herself at dance class because her 7-year old brother is still mastering tying his shoes thanks to years of Velcro. (Damn you Velcro — so convenient, yet such an enabler!)
When my oldest daughter was in kindergarten I noticed she would still have her jacket on at lunch even though the outdoor temperature had warmed up. I finally realized the poor child didn’t know how to unzip her own jacket!! I had always done it for her out of convenience. (That one is clearly on me! Bad helicopter mother! However, I have made sure the other two children, including the 3-year-old, can zip.)
Through the years teenage babysitters have surprised me with their incompetence in the kitchen. One didn’t know how to use the can opener. Another cooked the pizza when the cardboard still under it and yet another asked if she should boil the corn on the cob still in its husk. I wrote it off to their mothers never cooking at home, but maybe this is about not being exposed to common mechanical tools.
I don’t think this generation is dumb. My 3-year-old knows how to use our digital camera and my 7-year-old downloads movies from Netflix on the computer to the X-Box hard drive to watch later. They create computer games on their own, do algebra in the fourth grade and could make a Power Point presentation in second grade.
I do believe the problem is not the intelligence of the children but with helicopter parents and technology doing things for them.
This may be opening a can of worms but I think that kids who go to day care learn how to zip their jackets, tie their shoes, put on the skates and wipe their bottoms sooner because the day care workers can’t do it for all twenty kids in the class. Because my kids were always home with me I tied their shoes and zipped their jackets (and wiped the bottoms) as we hustled out the door.
I am pleased to say that my second-grader’s class just worked on addressing envelopes last week so I know he can do that one! But now I want to see if my kids can get ice from an old fashioned tray. (I sense a sneaky test coming on!)
So what do you think: Are we raising a generation of incapable nincompoops? Are they actually dumb? Are we doing too much for them? Are we not teaching them basic life skills?
Do you think kids that go to day care learn these everyday life skills better or faster than kids that have stay-at-home moms or dads?
How do you explain he disconnect between the amazing things they can accomplish (like using my smart phone better than me) and the simple things they cannot?
Share with us funny (or sad) examples of stuff your kids can’t do!
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136 comments Add your comment
DEWSTARPATH
September 29th, 2010
12:58 pm
- Electronic devices have quickly become the scapegoat
for every failure by individuals to grasp the concept of basic
common sense and self reliance that actually has been
eviscerated because parents won’t raise their children.
They’re either too busy with their own lives or caught up
in some entertainment – related distraction.
If kids can’t tie their own shoelaces, what does this have
to do with technology ? Isn’t it the job of the PARENTS to
teach them ? If we go on the Internet (to a website like the
AJC) and blame technology for something we should be doing
ourselves, isn’t that a colossal incident of HYPOCRISY ?
Ronda
September 29th, 2010
1:14 pm
I was with you until you said this “This may be opening a can of worms but I think that kids who go to day care learn how to zip their jackets, tie their shoes, put on the skates and wipe their bottoms sooner”
That should be kids that go to qualified program with curriculum and standards and highly involved parents. That would be Headstart and PreK. Daycares often do not teach those skills and pass it on to school teachers to do. Why? Who knows.
We are feeling the dropout echo…we are raising a generation of children who think its easier to just give up, move on and quit. There is not push through or roughing it mentality. That’s why we have a trend of job hopping. Its not really about salary but about getting tired of doing the work and wanting to do something fun and new. When did we decide it was better for our children if we just “did it for them?”
shaggy
September 29th, 2010
1:26 pm
It is really very simple. Teach your children, and they will learn. Don’t teach them, and they will still learn…learn that you are mostly worthless to them, so they will seek their answers elsewhere, perhaps bad elsewheres.
You don’t want to be their friend. You want to be their parent. I am thankful to this day that my parents weren’t my friends. I love them for that, even though I (like all of my “friends) was at war with them. We kids lost that war, thank God.
They made an environment for me that made me learn, or else. Pretty soon, I realized in my kid mind, that I was enjoying learning about all kinds of stuff. It continues to this very day.
For opening cans, I use a a can opener that is on my Swiss Army knife. The best there is. My wife insists that I open all cans with it. Cleaner, faster, and more fun. My dad was an Army Sargent and taught me that one.
See, it works. Dad taught. I listened.
DEWSTARPATH
September 29th, 2010
1:28 pm
abc – September 29th, 2010
10:28 am
“A boy should know how to tie a necktie
by the time he’s 12 years old. If in Boy Scouts,
he could learn it there”.
– Actually, “abc”, I was in Army JROTC, and a
Boy Scout. The Scouts use ‘neckerchiefs’ – not
‘neckties’ like JROTC. The difference is the
neckerchiefs use a ring-like collar with the
Boy Scout emblem (I forget what it’s called)
to clasp the cloth around the neck.
“FCM” & “TechMom” –
– Small world ! I guess the greater percentage
of kids learned how to tie a tie in JROTC the way
we did. I also learned how to shoot a rifle
(.22 ca. – years before Columbine), and took my
first ride on a Vietnam – era UH-1 Huey helicopter.
on that last note:
– I’m somewhat dismayed by the use of the term
“helicopter parent”. I know it shouldn’t bother
me – but it trivializes what helicopter pilots do,
IMO.
I prefer a more fitting analogy for over-attentive
adults raising children:
– “Puppeteer Parents”.
Bunch of Yentas
September 29th, 2010
1:33 pm
Just for the record, electric can openers are pretty gross. I mean, the blade cuts into your soup, or whatever, and you know you don’t really scrub that blade. So the food just rots on it. When you use a hand held one, you can throw it in teh dishwasher.
Alfire
September 29th, 2010
1:39 pm
I have worked as a researcher for many years at many Universities, what amazes me is the minute students walk out of class, everyone is on their cell phone! Who are they calling at 10am? When I was in college none of my classmates, fraternity brothers, girlfriends would want to talk to me then… about nothing! Hell, I saw 4 guys walk into Panera with 4 girls and every single one of them was on their cell phone… was current company not enough? Is it no longer cool to talk with the physical person in front of you rather than someone distant on the phone?
American Mother
September 29th, 2010
1:40 pm
Guess a Rotary Phone would really throw them!!!
Come On -Parents – TEACH your children well!!!
JATL
September 29th, 2010
1:40 pm
Thanks JOD! And thank you to all who brought up 5 year olds in strollers! My husband and I are constantly in disbelief at this issue. If your kid has to hold up his legs to keep them from dragging the ground, he’s TOO OLD for a stroller! I have a 4.5 year old and my two exceptions are 1 -if we’re at a music festival at night (after he’s been running around and dancing all day) he can get on his side next to his brother, recline and go to sleep so we can stay and listen to more music or 2 -if I’m actually motivated enough these days to go for a long walk or jog. I let him run first, and when he’s tired he can hop in because we would go very far if he had to run the whole way and keep up with me. Pushing him, his brother and the huge stroller actually adds a great deal to my workout!
Regarding lawn mowing and summer jobs -I can’t wait until my 2 are old enough to not only push mow our lawn, but the neigborhoods’ as well! Right now I am amazed at how much and how many people pay derelicts who cruise our n’hood with (probably stolen) mowers all summer. My kids will make a fortune when the neighbors see well-known neighbor kids showing up with our own mower.
I see so many commenting on the grown kids living with parents who still do everything for them. I have two cousins like this! They are late teen and early 20s and they live at home with no driver’s license, no jobs, no skills or anything! Mommy does it all! It makes me want to scream to see this.
American Mother
September 29th, 2010
1:42 pm
MY electric can opener blade is CLEAN – it comes OFF for a reason!!!!
DEWSTARPATH
September 29th, 2010
1:42 pm
Ronda — September 29th, 2010
1:14 pm
“We are feeling the dropout echo…we are raising
a generation of children who think its easier to
just give up, move on and quit. There is (not)
push through or roughing it mentality. That’s why we
have a trend of job hopping. Its not really about
salary but about getting tired of doing the work and
wanting to do something fun and new.”
Ronda – you hit the point right on the money!
That negative work ethic is what lies in store for
children of the type described in this ‘Momania’
forum discussion.
I’ve seen it up close – as a temp worker in the early
90’s. We would start out as temps, and then get hired
on later for several years until the job was phased out
or the assignment was complete. But it was also a
period where a high rate of turnover existed among other
temp workers I was supervising.
The ephemeral nature of work in this country is one of
the factors in the current economic slowdown and the
accumulation of ‘things’ – including DEBT. Great post.
Sue Jenkins
September 29th, 2010
1:43 pm
No, they are not stupid but ignorant of how to do some things. And yes, it is probably due to parents being in too much of a hurry to teach their children these skills. I remember teaching all four of mine to tie their shoes by age 3. I made cleaning their rooms a game. Each started out with one small chore to do each day that help others in the house. Other chores were added as they got older. Now as adults they all know how to cook, clean house and yard work and do their own laundry.
Toby
September 29th, 2010
1:50 pm
I think childrens’ lack of ability when using mechanical devices has nothing to do with electronics per se but everything to do with alternative methods that are now available (e.g., velcro straps on shoes instead of laces).
Parents should teach their children how to accomplish simple tasks themselves, but if there are other means available, is it really that important that they learn outdated, traditional methods of doing things? Probably not.
Duff
September 29th, 2010
1:55 pm
I don’t know about the rest of you but I can certainly admit that advancements in technology have kept me from learning how to do things my parents and grandparents know how to do. Things like make my own clothing, grow my own food, hand wash dishes, use the Duey decimal system, navigate a horse drawn carriage, shave with a straight razor in a river, repair a steam engine, make a sun dial, tune a piano using a tuning fork… etc..
If you think society is getting dumber or knows less in time you are the one that is mentally challenged. These kids that can’t tie their shoe laces by second grade are writing computer programs by 3rd grade.
Jane
September 29th, 2010
1:55 pm
Some engineering majors at Georgia Tech don’t know how to properly wash dishes unless the dishes are in a machine with a button that says “wash.” Just imagine these engineers in the laundry room.
C Taylor
September 29th, 2010
1:57 pm
I would have to say YES! I feel like we have handicapped our children these days. In an effort to not be like our parents. I remind my friends that we turned out okay. I will admit that I am a bit of a helicopter Mom but I remind my kids that I expect them to be competent adults.
I realize in my effort that my eldest child lacks motivation. I don’t know why but I try to think of common things to spark a “think outside of the box” mentality in him. If we all spent more time challenging our children and pushing them to think things out instead of the easy way out or worse, the parents doing it the US would be a better place 20 years from now.
smitty
September 29th, 2010
1:58 pm
Great column, not sure if they are all nincompoops, just parents who don’t always think about what they might need to teach their kids. There is so much knowledge that adults have that we take for granted until we are questioned how to do something by our kids.
For example, I was once approached by a girl (18-20 years old) at a gas station on 316. Her tire had gone flat and she did not know how to change a tire. She just went to the first stranger at a gas station (me) and asked if I could help her change her tire. I gave her a ride back to her car and changed her tire for her. She was very lucky that I wasn’t some serial killer or evil person as she proceeded to put her life in the hands of a complete stranger because she had no clue how to change a tire.
Parents, make sure your daughters, not just your sons, know a minimal amount of car repair. Their safety could one day depend on it.
SirReal
September 29th, 2010
2:01 pm
No, I would say collectively we’ve just become a lot more docile and in doing so, its affected the next generation. I could not imagine some of the things mentioned in this article. There has to be a point where someone has to learn basic human skills. This technology has made us more dependant and robotic. I have to make sure my 1 year old will know how to tie her shoes, etc and will be potty trained after age 2. As far as teens, now thats just being lackadaisical. They are more than competent and at some point you cant blame your parents b/c you’re now old enough to teach yourself. I feel bad for the next generation as we move even closer to dependance on technology and possessing a “pass the buck” mentality….
Deal
September 29th, 2010
2:05 pm
If you vote for Barnes then he’ll make it illegal for children to tie their own shoes. I’ll make it a Law that all must children must tie their own shoes.
It’s all about American Values and I’m the man for that.
Red
September 29th, 2010
2:13 pm
Parents should teach their kids regarding problem-solving and decision-making. If a child encounters a task they feel is impossible, then parents should teach the child how to solve it instead of letting it go. Applicable from such simple things as opening a can to running a company.
Bunch of Yentas
September 29th, 2010
2:14 pm
Its a pace of life issue as much as anything else.
We are all so busy. Both parents working 40+ hours, little league, school functions, homework, ect…
Its difficult to slow down long enough to let the kid do something that will take him 5 minutes when you can do it in 5 seconds.
We should all slow down.
Claire
September 29th, 2010
2:15 pm
@ Toby: What are your thoughts about the fact that many school systems no longer teach cursive? It is considered to be outdated. Soon, any kind of handwriting will go, too. How are they supposed to sign their name? Print? Sometimes it’s good to know outdated things. Technology can fail, sometimes.
Wayne
September 29th, 2010
2:19 pm
I have to laugh about the car seat comment. I have 4 of those car seats. I’m not thrilled about it but my wife feels more secure with them. My sons are 4 and 7. I say, let’s use boosters, and I get the “what, you don’t want your kids to be safe while in the car” argument. Oy. We’re usually the last to leave to go anywhere because we spend more time buckling up the kids than anything else.
Becky
September 29th, 2010
2:19 pm
@American Mother..My two are 8 years old and tjye can use a rotary phone(see earlier post)…
@Duff, you are right..Things that we grew up with as basics, kids today have no need for..My 2 hate it that the other kids at their school don’t know who Alvin York is, they’ve never seen Old Yeller and none of them have ever heard of the Titanic..My 2 know all about these things..
As I said earlier, the girl loves to cook..She can make biscuits from scratch..Yes, she needs a little help, but she can do it..
I can change tires on a car and I know how to check all of the fluids on my car..When any of the lights go out on it, I’m the one that replaces them, not my husband..I expect that my two will learn some basics for car maintaince when they get older..
JJ
September 29th, 2010
2:39 pm
I had to learn how to change a tire, and check the oil, etc before my father would let me get my driver’s license.
Now, I know A LOT about cars…..and can hold my own with my mechanic. I bought my daughter a car this past summer, and the guy who sold it to us was blown away with my knowledge of motor engines.
I also think all kids need physical labor in their lives. As a punishment for sneaking out of the house at 2:30 in the morning (she was 13), I made my daughter rake the entire back yard and bag up the leaves, and get it all to the curb. My friend was over, and we were watching my daughter from the kitchen window. My friend said “You really should get a leaf blower, she’s really struggling out there”. I replied “I have one in the garage but that won’t teach her a lesson.”
Physical labor as a punishment works wonders. My daughter NEVER snuck out of the house again.
There is ABSOLUTELY no reason for a teenager not knowing how to mow a lawn. I started mowing when I was 8. We also had to shovel the driveway and sidewalks when it snowed, and in Colorado it really snowed. We had to shovel practically every day!!!!
Stephanie
September 29th, 2010
2:41 pm
Children learn what we allow them to learn and whatever they are exposed to. We always went to the pool as a family when my kids were growing up, my oldest learned how to swim just by watching others. Lessons did not cost me a dime. When my youngest was about 10, he came in and asked me for a snack. At that time we had maintenance being done on our home, he came in and asked twice. Within 20 minutes the maintenance people were gone and the chicken nuggets were cooling on top of the oven on the baking sheet. Yep, he cooked them all by himself. Even taught my future “debit carders” them both how to write a check as soon as they turned 16. They learn so much by seeing and being exposed. We have taught our children how to deal with the basics in living, just because this house has all the modern conveniences does not mean that theirs will!!! My mom always raised us with one thought, “If I she died tomorrow how would we survive?” Of course we would be taken care of, but she always wanted us to be as independent as possible. I raise my children with the same thought in mind!!!
DEWSTARPATH
September 29th, 2010
2:45 pm
Duff — September 29th, 2010
1:55 pm
“Things like make my own clothing, grow my own food,
hand wash dishes, use the Duey decimal system,… etc..”
– The Dewey Decimal System is just a list of library
books classified by ‘decimal’ numbers, like offices
in a building:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dewey_decimal_system
“These kids that can’t tie their shoe laces by second grade
are writing computer programs by 3rd grade.”
– An ancient Chinese philosopher had a saying:
“To hear the clap of thunder is no test of the ears”.
With all of the free ‘downloadable’ programs on the Internet
that take compiled languages and ‘converts’ them into
point-and-click objects that can be ‘cut’ and ‘pasted’
in an editing browser environment, any kindergartener
can write an application involving a few dozen lines
of code. That’s why there’s a billion applications on
the Internet – it’s not hard to do.
If they can use a welding torch and build their own
electronics, that might impress me.
Bunch of Yentas
September 29th, 2010
2:47 pm
Becky, Im 34 and I don’t know who Alvin York is?
Kate
September 29th, 2010
2:56 pm
Good point Duff! I know plenty of adults who are oblivious to technology and insist on doing everything “old school,” so it goes both ways. My husband’s grandmother refuses to use a dishwasher. My mother in law, who is far from elderly, has no idea how to use an ATM or a debit card, refuses to order anything online and has to have A LOT of help operating her cell phone. So what if my kid doesn’t know how to operate a rotary phone? I probably couldn’t either since I haven’t seen one since I was 6!
Wayne
September 29th, 2010
3:10 pm
@dewstar: I’m missing your point on the DDS. Have you ever used it? Just curious as to what your point was.
TechMom
September 29th, 2010
3:11 pm
@ Becky, I’m with @Bunch of Yentas- I just googled Alvin York to find out who is was. What does he have to do with today’s topic?
Becky
September 29th, 2010
3:13 pm
@Bunch of Yentas..Sgt.Alvin C York, is the most decorated soilder of WW1..I guess a lot of people don’t know who he is, he passed away in 1964..We have visited the town where he was born, have seen his house and grave site..They loved it..
They also know who the Wright Brothers are and as with Alvin York, they are upset that most of the kids in their class don’t know who they are..We try to give them a diverse learning on things..
TechMom
September 29th, 2010
3:20 pm
Since we do live in the land of the electronic everything, we got our son a checking account with a debit card. His allowance goes straight into his account and he has to either use his debit card or take out cash for whatever he needs. The plus side- he’s saving a lot more than he did before. I’ve also showed him how to balance his account in Quicken and he has an application on his iPhone from the bank to be able to check his transactions and balance. I haven’t kept a manual check register in years and certainly don’t expect him to either but I do feel like I’m teaching him the skills he needs to be able to function in today’s world… even if he could care less half the time. My husband was never taught how to balance a checkbook and since I took that task on when we were first living together, there’s probably no hope of ever giving it back to him. I also pay all the bills and do our taxes. I did make him sit down and attempt our taxes last year. I ended up going back through and revising/correcting things but at least he got an appreciation for it and quit asking me when I was going to file.
Becky
September 29th, 2010
3:20 pm
@TechMom..It has nothing to do with todays topic..It’s just that children only tend to learn stuff from today..Like Duff said, times have changed and we didn’t learn things that were needed to know that our parents and grandparents knew growing up..
Gamecock80
September 29th, 2010
3:30 pm
The other day i stopped by a Sonic and ordered. The total came to $8.95. When the order was delivered the teenager habded it to me with the receipt attached. I know Sonic prints out on the receipt the amount of change needed to make a dollar, so it said 5 cents. I handed her 9 dollars. The girl stood there for a bit and I could see she was thinking really hard. Finally she said here is your change, 15 cents. I told he no the change was actually 5 cents and handed her back the dime. She looked at me like I had no sence and said no the change from $9.00 for an order of $8.95 is 15 cents. With cars lined up behind me I said fine keep the dime. I can’t bel;ieve that a teenager cannot make change. My 3 kids all were taught how to make change in elementary school. And both of my son’s were taught how to tie a tie by the age of 9 or 10. And when I was working on the car, I made them watch and help just like my Dad did with me. And I agree this generation is going to be really bad off as they age.
JJ
September 29th, 2010
3:42 pm
Kids are way more interested in celebrities than how to open a can of chow….How true is this…..posted on Facebook by my ex brother in law:
Lindsay Lohan, 24, is all over the news because she’s a celebrity drug addict. While Justin Allen 23, Brett Linley 29, Matthew Weikert 29, Justus Bartett 27, Dave Santos 21, Chase Stanley 21, Jesse Reed 26, Matthew Johnson 21, Zachary Fisher 24, Brandon King 23, Christopher Goeke 23, and Sheldon Tate 27 are all Marines… that gave their lives this week, no media mention.
Wayne
September 29th, 2010
3:45 pm
I’m with you JJ. Strange world we live in. Interesting: from one end of the spectrum to ‘nother. Lindsay Lohan to Johnny Depp – who, whenever he passes a homeless person, gives them $20.
Still no mention of those that gave all.
Becky
September 29th, 2010
3:47 pm
@Wayne..I didn’t know that about Johnny Depp..It’s good to learn something new every day…
Mrs. G
September 29th, 2010
3:54 pm
My mom told me that my dad didn’t do his own laundry when she met him (he was in his mid-twenties); she said something about jeans and tighty-whities accompanying his suits to the cleaners. I giggle about that. My mom has always done the laundry and I honestly don’t know that my dad knows how to use a washer and dryer. My ex-boyfriend didn’t know, either; we lived together and I did our laundry (mainly because it was easier to combine our clothes to make full loads and I didn’t trust him with some of my more delicate items, LOL), when I went out of town, he had me write out instructions with what setting to wash different items on and how much detergent to use (since the detergent doesn’t come with instructions or anything). My husband, though, knows how to do laundry (he came trained, haha) and is happy to do it.
I think that every generation has “nincompoops” that don’t know how to do basic things, not just the generation that is coming of age now.
HB
September 29th, 2010
4:17 pm
I’m all for all drivers knowing how to change tires, but don’t necessarily count on that working when the time comes. I know how, can work the jack, etc, but both times I’ve had a flat I had to get someone to help me because getting lugnuts off that were put on by a power tool rather than just a guy with a wrench is dang near impossible. In my case, it involved standing and bouncing on the lug wrench and I had to find helpers just to lend extra weight! So teach your children well, but sign them up for AAA too.
deidre_NC
September 29th, 2010
4:21 pm
photius said ‘Give a child everything of what they need…. Give them only some of what they want.’ the problem with that is that most people cant differentiate between wants and needs.
deidre_NC
September 29th, 2010
4:23 pm
HB–we have roadside assistance (that covers everything you can think of including hotels and food in case of breakdowns on a trip) that is a lot less expensive than AAA. i had AAA for years until my insurance started carrying it so much cheaper. check your out-i had no idea mine had it until i was making some changes in my policies.
kris
September 29th, 2010
4:41 pm
to JJ at 3:42 – So sad, yet so true. The things some people think are so important . . .
God bless those brave young adults who gave all!
HB
September 29th, 2010
4:43 pm
Thanks, deidre_NC! I’ll check around for a better deal.
shaggy
September 29th, 2010
5:03 pm
JJ
You didn’t just hit the nail on the head, you drove that sucker clear to China.
Jake
September 29th, 2010
5:16 pm
Yes, we are raising kids that don’t have common sense and they are lazy as well. We’re also raising kids that don’t have manners; I guess that’s expected though since their parents don’t have them either. More and more when I’m out shopping, I hear kids scream as they roll around on the floor while having a tantrum. The parents act as if they don’t hear them. Most of the teens will run right into you because they are texting.
AtlantaFan
September 29th, 2010
5:30 pm
My college-aged daughter and son can do most anything that I as a parent do. Most tasks they learned from us as parents, but being a Girl Scout or Boy Scout for 12 years reinforced many life-skills for both of them. As a Girl Scout leader, I spent a great deal of time teaching other people’s children how to cook, basic car repair and maintenance, home maintenance, money management, and many other skills they will use throughout their lives.
motherjanegoose
September 29th, 2010
5:47 pm
deirde….good point. We have AAA and although I can change a tire, I will not. Too dangerous.
I do not want my kids doing it either, unless there are no other options. On a country road…fine…in metro Atlanta not so much. My husband insisted on changing my tire ( he hit some road debris and the tire blew) right on I85 and Sugarloaf. We had to take all my stuff out of the trunk. Cars were whizzing by us and blowing their horns too…it was not fun. I closed my eyes!
I once heard that if you tie your roadside coverage to your auto insurance and have too many claims…they will cancel you on your auto policy. We will go for years with no calls and then have 3 in 6 months. So I hesitate to switch. Does anyone know?
Fred
September 29th, 2010
5:53 pm
Theresa Hyphenated person: You explained your own situation yourself. Either you are a helicopter mother who wants to do everything for your children, or you are too “busy” or lazy to let them do anything for themselves. Well you explained the first scenario, not the second. Advocating daycare is just plain stupid. I didn’t have children so some minimum wage person could raise them at some barely healthy place of business. You can kiss my fat white hairy ass on that one.
It takes TIME to raise a child, not a village like Hitlery wrote. It is SO frustrating sometimes, but it’s necessary. Yeah, I could zip my daughters jacket faster than she could, but SHE wanted to zip it. I encouraged that. Yeah, sometimes the clock was ticking, but NOTHING was more important than she is.
Kids are little scientists, you either have forgotten that or never knew it. They want to experiment, test everything. Even as babies. There they are, sitting in their playpen. They wonder……… what happens if I throw this toy out? SO they do. Oh no. I don’t have this toy. They cry (it’s all they can do at this point). You go get it for them. SO they do it again. Will she go get it again if I cry? Let’s see………… Pretty soon, one of two things happens. Either they train you to go fetch like a freaking dog, or they learn that if they throw their toys out of the playpen, they have no toys. It’s really not that hard Ms. Hyphenated person.
Don’t paint my child with the broad strokes of your own inadequacies. My daughter is 8 and off hand, I can’t think of anything she can’t do that one should reasonably expect an 8 year old to do. Maybe getting ice out of an ice tray. Those haven’t really been in use for over 20 years so I’m not too worried on that score though. I’ll go out and see if I can find one somewhere and test her on it though. It will be interesting………..
What a sad state of affairs we find ourselves in because in today’s society, it’s beneath mommy’s dignity to stay home with the children rather than work and if daddy does he’s a dead beat sucking of his wife. And then there are the helicopter mom’s……….
mom of 3
September 29th, 2010
5:54 pm
I made sure my daughters had roadside asst attached to their cell phone bills. That way even if they are just a passenger they can still call and get help since it’s tied to the phone and not to automobile.
My youngest didn’t know how to wash clothes until high school but that was because she traded chores with siblings to do her laundry and she would do something of theirs. It just depends on how independent you want to raise your children to be – that’s the bottom line.
Tuckergirl
September 29th, 2010
6:05 pm
Not knowing how to tie a tie is very common. Most events don’t require formal attire and even when they do, the request is often ignored or forgotten.
I remember that the father of one of my friends worked at Penney’s in the men’s department. A young man came in, maybe in his late teens. The kids was looking for a suit and tie. My friend’s father helped him as the kid had no clue. Then he had to teach him how to tie the tie. My friend’s father asked him why he needed the suit and tie and the kid said, “I’m sorry I seem so clueless. My father’s funeral is tomorrow and I never learned how to tie a tie.” Made me cry, it was so sad.