Have you postponed pregnancy due to the economy?

AJC reporter Craid Schneider is working on a story about families who have postponed having a child for economic reasons. If you have chosen to wait to get pregnant because of the recession and would like to be included in a story, please contact Craig at at 404-526-5463 or cschneider@ajc.com.

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Dane

September 25th, 2010
2:48 pm

Hi there I’m a new single mom and I know it will be hard for me a long the way so I am browsing the web for some good blogs and I find your blog very interesting and helpful to be a good mother. Bookmarking your blog now. Thanks!

deidre_NC

September 26th, 2010
5:50 am

welcome dane…and congratulations on your new baby. hope you find some good advice here…we are full of it :) lol

Jess

September 26th, 2010
9:16 am

We’ve postponed having kids due to the ignorance of American society. Does that count?

Future Dad

September 26th, 2010
9:42 am

Jess, if you’re waiting on that to change, you’ll never have kids! My wife is pregnant right now with a baby girl and we have found out about some problems with the baby. Please pray for her and us.

J.B. STONER

September 26th, 2010
10:13 am

Birth control should be an option, don’t you think?

If youre on welfare , have a kid, then no more ‘free-bies ‘

Claire

September 26th, 2010
11:20 am

Future Dad, I am so sorry to hear that. I will pray for you, for you daughter, your wife, and everyone else who might be affected. If you do not mind, please keep the commenters updated, with or without details. God bless.

Mia

September 26th, 2010
1:53 pm

I’ve always said I would wait until I was financially stable. I thought this would be the year, but I lost my job in January. So…yeah, putting motherhood off.

Future Dad

September 26th, 2010
1:53 pm

Thanks, Claire. Ironically, she shares your name! She has a condition called congenital hydrocephalus and it is in the severe category. My wife started a blog when we found out so updates can be found at http://www.prayersforclaire.blogspot.com. We have an ultrasound scheduled for this Tuesday, so say a quick prayer at about 3:00. Thanks!

rick

September 26th, 2010
4:29 pm

If it weren’t for the illegals, the population of the nation would be declining. The populations of most first-world nations are declining. The average person simply can’t afford to raise children. In fact, if you have a child, odds are that they will grow up to a lower-standard than you enjoyed. There are exceptions, but overall, children born today will be the first to grow up worse than the prior generation. Hope the corporations that helped to move all the jobs to other nations suffer from lack of future population.

rick

September 26th, 2010
4:32 pm

Having a child in the USA is a deadend.

Jobs in the USA are deadends.

Houses are deadends.

Investments are deadends.

The USA is a deadend.

The USA is past-tensed.

Are we number one in education–no.

Number one in average-living standard–no.

Number one in war. That is it.

Patriot

September 26th, 2010
4:44 pm

Wow Rick, your optimism is contagious! Are you one of those motivational speakers?? You should be!

DB

September 26th, 2010
6:46 pm

@Rick: Someone should tell the Duggers that the birth rate is declining . . . :-)

@FutureDad: Prayers headed your way for little Claire and her family.

There are very few perfect times to have and raise a baby. For most, it’s not, as my father ruefully put it, “a matter of sitting at the kitchen table and saying, “OK, let’s have a baby in nine months!’” And when you DO think you’re ready — sometimes your body has other ideas. Also, you might be ok NOW financially — but hopefully, life doesn’t throw you a curveball, in the form of a lost job, spouse’s death, etc., etc.

Life is what happens when you’re making other plans . . . It’’s wise to plan as much as possible, but it’s impossible to anticipate everything.

JATL

September 26th, 2010
7:40 pm

I’m a great believer in planning financially for children, but things happen even to the best of planners. As long as you have jobs and money now and it doesn’t look like you’re going to lose that job or those jobs, then if you’re ready, go for it. As much as we WANT to give our babies beautiful nurseries and clothes and tons of portraits and all the extras, they really only require a little! Not that that “little” isn’t expensive, but the only people who make me angry are the ones who already have several kids and DECIDE (not an accident) to have another simply because they want it but they’re both laid off or the husband just lost his job or that type of thing. I see a shocking number of cases like this on another mom blog, and it’s the height of irresponsibility to me.

mom of 3

September 26th, 2010
8:20 pm

There are several reasons if I were just starting out with my husband children would not be in my plan. I love my 3 but I would not have a baby today. Too much violence, uncertainty, hatred, morality issues, and financially, well, just look at today’s graduates. Alot are joining the armed service just to able to support themselves and their loved ones. American is in a sad shape and it won’t get any better for our children. My son has been out of college for 2 years and just entered the army to be an officer, My daughter is currently acquiring more debt for school by staying in to get her master’s because she can only find work as a waitress and who can afford to pay back loans and live on a waitress salary. They have all said that they don’t see marriage, children and what they thought they would have at 30. That to me is very sad.

deidre_NC

September 26th, 2010
8:53 pm

@mom of 3 that is sad. my daughter feels the same way..
@future dad…prayers going up for yall…god bless you…hope the ultrasound shows something encouraging!

S CO

September 27th, 2010
12:21 am

My husband and I have a 7-year-old already but we’ve definitely put getting pregnant on the back burner. The original plan was for us to have 2-3 kids. However, the economy has changed and changed our minds. It’s crazy. Things seemed so simple when we were planning but now it’s so complex.

mom of 3

September 27th, 2010
7:01 am

@deidre then you know how I feel. This is not what I wanted for my son or daughter.
@future dad – praying

Miss J

September 27th, 2010
8:10 am

I believe I’ll be postponing motherhood indefinitely. Good economy or not. I just don’t see the benefit in motherhood anymore.

DB

September 27th, 2010
9:37 am

@Miss J: The “benefit” in motherhood? You just don’t see the “benefit” in motherhood anymore?

When has motherhood ever been a “benefit”? It’s a job, it’s a responsibility, it’s a profound joy, it’s a sacred trust — but a “benefit”?

You’re right — as long as you feel that way, you SHOULDN’T be a mother — because the minute you become a mother, it’s not all about you any more, or what “benefit” this tiny person can be to you.

As to the topic at hand: I wonder if the birth rate declined dramatically during the Depression?

Georgia Girl

September 27th, 2010
10:37 am

Still waiting. Husband is working on his Bachelor’s and working part-time; he’s got a year and a half to go. I have a pretty good job that pays the blls and leaves a little bit left over. But with private health insurance that doesn’t cover maternity, going in debt for $10-15k just to get the baby here, let alone the costs of taking care of a baby, it just isn’t a wise decision for us right now. It’s a hard situation to be in but I’m learning a lot about patience.

And I believe that it will take good, caring, responsible people who raise children with those same values to undo some of the terrible things that now exist in the world.

Becky

September 27th, 2010
12:56 pm

@Dane..Congrats on being a new Mom..Yeah, there will be some tough times, but all in all, it’s worth it..

@Future Dad..Sorry to hear about baby Claire..Keeping you and your family in my prayers..

Mrs. G

September 27th, 2010
1:31 pm

My husband and I had a conversation about this last night… Several of our friends are expecting right now, so the idea of getting pregnant is obviously on our radar. We both have good jobs (husband’s a teacher and just got tenure) and all of the credit card debt we irresponsibly accumulated in college and after will be paid off by early next year, so I suggested that we start trying. Hubbs said that the only thing holding him back from saying, “Let’s go!” was the fact that he thought that we wouldn’t have time to work-out anymore (that’s a big thing for us – he’s a P.E. teacher and we notice that we feel so much better when we’re active). I told him that if that was the only thing holding him back from wanting to get started, we should just go for it because we could be flexible and find time. Then we started talking about childcare and he balked. Before last night, he didn’t know how expensive it is. Now he wants to wait indefinitely because he doesn’t want us to have so much less money (we could afford childcare and other expenses, according to our calculations, but we wouldn’t have nearly as much extra as we would without a baby…we would be almost paycheck to paycheck again). I understand that, but I’m a little sad…I feel like if we wait for the perfect time financially, we’ll never have a baby (so many people have told us that!). I don’t want to twist his arm; I told him that when he’s ready, I’ll be ready…I don’t want our situation to be one where the woman begs and begs for a baby and then the husband finally gives in to shut her up, but isn’t really emotionally ready (that sounds kind of harsh, but I know that it happens). That wouldn’t bode well for our marriage. So, my mouth is shut; the ball is in his court. I’m just going to enjoy him and our marriage until he is ready (and hopefully that happens relatively sooner rather than later!).

penguinmom

September 27th, 2010
1:44 pm

If you wait until you can ‘afford’ a child you might as well give up now. There is never going to be a perfect amount of money you can set aside to pay for all the things a child brings along with them.

I think it’s really all a matter of choices. Most of us have a lot things we can do without. If you are a parent, you often choose to do without in order to provide for your child.

Our children are well worth the financial choices we have to make.

Blog Voyeur

September 27th, 2010
3:33 pm

Hubby and I decided that if we don’t do it now, we may never do it. We have a son already, who will be three in November, and we always agreed we’d have additional children. Before getting pregnant this time, there was a concern about less money, and my husband suggested waiting until we’re more comfortable financially. When I realized that we could end up waiting the rest of our lives for that, I reminded him that I don’t want my children to be so far apart in age. AND that waiting to be financially comfortable could possibly take forever. I prefer to have had all of my children by the time I’m 33, so I can take them on trips and things like that when I’m 40. I don’t want to be 40 and pregnant. There’s nothing wrong with being older and pregnant, it’s just not for me. So,… recession or not, we’re having a baby, and we know its going to be wonderful!

DB

September 27th, 2010
6:52 pm

Mrs. G, your husband is deep into “provider” mode — but I have to say that “I wouldn’t have as much time to work out” is one of the least compelling reasons I’ve ever heard to have a child. No matter how much money you make as a couple, it’s never “enough” for most people, so leaving it open-ended until he is ‘comfortable’ is a bit of a cop-out.

Children do require a sacrifice — of time, energy and money. Your life will never be the same after you have children — but if you’re just a little bit lucky, you’ll consider yourself much richer for having your child in your life.

TT

September 28th, 2010
9:25 am

The problem is not with economy. The problem is that current generation has expectations to have everything in life, regardless of how hard they work or how much money they make.

Yongsters have no savings, have school loans and CC debt, but hey, they are eating out every day, going to bars every week, buying Starbucks cofee, riding new cars, having personal trainers and spending $200 on a pair of jeans.

Of course, there is nothing wrong having all the conveniences in life IF you make enough money. But 98% of the population are trying to live lifes that rich 2% have. They walk out of school and expect to make enough money right away to afford a lifestyle that is meant only for a few rich ones. To me that is the problem.

People can afford to raise children, they just choose different priorities.