‘Sex parties:’ New way for parents to reveal sex of their baby
This undated photo provided by Megan Faulkner Brown, founder of the Utah-based bake shop The Sweet Tooth Fairy, shows a cake the bake shop made for an expectant Utah mother who wanted the gender of her baby to be revealed using cake. The mother gave a sealed envelope that contained a sheet of paper with the gender of her baby written on it to the bake shop. They saw the gender and dyed the cake batter pink. When the family made the first cut of the cake they found out they were having a baby girl. (AP Photo/The Sweet Tooth Fairy, Megan Faulkner Brown)
An AP writer, who is a friend of ours, wrote a story about how he and his wife found out and shared with their friends the gender of their first child – with a “sex party.”
Greg Bluestein and his wife Sheryl had the ultrasound technician write the gender on the baby’s picture and then stick it an envelope. A friend of theirs took the envelope to the grocery store where a baker created a cake with either pink or blue icing on the inside.
“Our guests started coming over that Saturday night around 7, and two shoes greeted them in our foyer. We asked them to write their names on a slip of paper and tuck it into my giant loafer if they think it’s a boy and Sheryl’s slender stiletto if they think it’s a girl. One lucky winner would take home a prize — a gag gift of baby oil brought by one of the guests.”
“Over the next few hours, about 50 friends gorged on a dozen pizzas and guzzled down some beer until it was time for dessert. Then we all gathered in our kitchen in front of the massive sheet cake, giving our guests a brief reminder of the import of the moment.”
“Anticipation mounted as we eyed the icing. We slowly cut into a cake, separating a piece.”
“I looked. Sheryl looked. I wasn’t quite sure. I checked again. She checked again.”
“Cheers echoed through the house as we saw the pink icing.”
“It’s a girl!”
Greg and his wife aren’t the only parents finding out this way. There are actually bakers that specialize in doing cakes this way. So it must be catching on.
I love the idea of sharing the gender of the baby with all your friends at once, and I love the suspense of having to cut into the cake to find out. But I don’t think I would want to find out in front of all my friends and family. I think I would want time to deal with the emotion of what I was having with my husband and not with an audience.
What do you guys think of the idea of the “sex party?” What do you think about finding out what the sex of the baby is in front of all your friends? What do you think about telling everyone together – not giving your parents preferential treatment? What do you think about using the secret icing to reveal the gender? (I think I would want to check the envelope again after cutting the cake just to make sure I didn’t have an overworked, mischievous, or dumb baker.)
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95 comments Add your comment
smh
August 30th, 2010
6:06 am
I don’t like it at all. Call me a traditionalist. Just wait until delivery. That is the only way to be sure.
DB
August 30th, 2010
7:10 am
Well, it’s certainly original. But then, you’re talking to someone who didn’t want to know the sex of the baby until it was breathing on its own . . . I just think of all the mistakes ultrasounds have made (my nephew, for one!).
Personally, the idea of telling some anonymous baker before telling my very own parents and inlaws is just a little creepy. But I have been accused of being a pretty private person, so maybe it’s just me.
lakerat
August 30th, 2010
7:18 am
Sorry to be negative first thing in the morning, but why in the world would anyone think that the rest of the world gives a rats patooty about what the sex of the newborn may be – just another example of the yuppie perversion that adds to the perception of the “me first” generation…
motherjanegoose
August 30th, 2010
7:21 am
I did not have a sonogram with my son as they were not as common then and our insurance did not cover the cost unless something appeared to be a problem. I did have a few with our daughter but like DB knew several folks who were expecting one sex and received another. we got what we expected and we were excited to have one of each sex.
SO….I will not have various mundane stories to share on this topic but will be happy to read those that are posted today, when I get a chance.
T…thanks for your kind words and support on Friday’s blog. I have enjoyed hanging out here and am delighted that you will still allow me to post my stories and opinions…even though everyone here may not enjoy them.
I AM all about a delicious slice of cake with a good cup of coffee…..yum! I am also all about getting together with my friends…fun! Maybe this would cover both aspects.
Allie
August 30th, 2010
7:26 am
Finding out the sex of your baby is truely the biggest and most wonderful surprise you’ll ever experience in life. I preferred to wait and find out at the delivery whether we were to be blessed with a son or a daughter.
As far as throwing a “sex party” as Theresa described…..it seems more and more people have this feeling of self-importance that just astounds me. This type of party is a prime example, because really nobody but Mum and Dad honestly care about what they’re having. And enlisting friends to run around to organize stuff, and cater to your needs cos you just won’t read the back of a sonogram?! Insanely selfish!
NicNac
August 30th, 2010
7:49 am
My good friend had the ultrasound tech write the sex down and seal it in an envelope. That night, she and her husband went on a romantic date to dinner and a show (it happened to be their 2 year anniversary!) Back at the hotel they got to open up the envelope and find out together and alone, a very sweet moment for them. They shared their news with friends and family the next morning.
Andrea
August 30th, 2010
7:49 am
I think there are circumstances where this could actually be fun. Like everything else, you can choose to learn the sex of your baby or choose not too. If you choose to know, and celebrate it, it doesn’t make you narcissistic (sp?) in my opinion.
Being the parent of a very premature child, my family and close friends celebrated every little milestone of the pregnancy with me. My then husband and I had suffered many miscarriages before our first was born and the losses were difficult to deal with. We didn’t have a “sex party” per se but when we were far enough along to know what the sex of the child was (a first for us), we had our immediate family over for dinner and told them the sex of the baby. Granted, my story is much different from the light hearted party presented in the topic; but I say that to say there could be a myriad of reasons to have a party to celebrate the sex of your baby.
If you want to have one – go for it. If it is not your cup of tea – fine. The world will still go around and around.
A
August 30th, 2010
8:08 am
Seriously? People do this? Call me old-fashioned like some of the other posters this morning, but I think finding out your child’s gender is one of the few surprises left in today’s world. We didn’t want to find out and before each ultrasound made it clear to the tech/nurse and then my OB that we didn’t want to know. No one spilled the beans, and we were truly surprised and thrilled when our son arrived.
Photius
August 30th, 2010
8:08 am
Don’t like it. One thing which could be used more today is humility and not being totally self absorbed, especially when it comes to their children. It’s a bit over the top for me….
JJ
August 30th, 2010
8:13 am
S T U P I D. S T U P I D. S T U P I D.
What a dumb idea.
mom2alex&max
August 30th, 2010
8:22 am
As DB says, it seems pretty presumptuous that anyone gives a rat’s behind about the sex of your baby. It’s just one of those questions people ask when they find out you are pregnant to be polite. No one cares except grandparents, and even then, they are probably just happy about a grandbaby.
To me it was a private moment shared with my husband (and of course the ultrasound tech ha ha). I didn’t feel the need to have a Grand Event about this.
Motherjane wrote...
August 30th, 2010
8:28 am
…”I will not have various mundane stories to share on this topic” –
But, she had already written “I did not have a sonogram with my son as they were not as common then and our insurance did not cover the cost unless something appeared to be a problem. I did have a few with our daughter”
She must not know what “mundane story” means…
Hey, Andrea...
August 30th, 2010
8:32 am
…”If you choose to know, and celebrate it, it doesn’t make you narcissistic (sp?) in my opinion”. I will agree with this statement that you wrote – however, if you choose to include (or “make” othersjoin) in your “celebration” then, in my opinion, it DOES make you narcisstic…
some guy
August 30th, 2010
8:39 am
i bet most the participants in the party were pretty bummed. i know i would be if i got an invite for a ’sex party’ and it turned out to just be pizza, beer and a cake with pink icing in it. talk about false advertising.
TechMom
August 30th, 2010
8:43 am
And here I thought we were going to discuss “Passion Parties” or the like today. LOL I do think that might be a little more interesting for a Monday anyway.
Lady Strange
August 30th, 2010
8:54 am
Not for me. I was fine with the ultrasound tech telling us when the baby was old enough. I debated about waiting but we both wanted to know ahead of time. There is always that chance that they read the ultrsound wrong. I had a few of them with my son due to problems. I always asked if the baby was still a boy. LOL! Just to be sure :) If I have another baby, I will most likely find out ahead of time. Privately though.
Michelle
August 30th, 2010
8:59 am
I think it’s a nice way to share and celebrate. Some people actually have friends that ARE excited to know about the sex of their friends’ babies!
Becky
August 30th, 2010
9:06 am
I don’t know that I would have a “sex” party to tell family and friends, but that’s just me..I’m more of the type that thinks you should wait until the baby is born..I guess to each their own though..
@MJG wrote and Hey Andrea..We are all so glad that you decided to join us today..We really needed to have someone that drank vinegar for breakfast this morning to brighten our day..So please drink more vinegar and think of more snarky stuff to post..
SuwaneeMommy
August 30th, 2010
9:10 am
Really???? Are people this self-centered that they need to do this? Oh please…
YUKI
August 30th, 2010
9:13 am
If people want to have a party to do this, then why not? A nice excuse to get together with friends and family. I am always curious about the sex of my friends babies…it’s not only family that cares. If you think its stupid then don’t go. We found out and called our families then sent out an email to close friends. I wouldn’t do it personally because I think it’s a bit over the top but if that’s what people want to do…knock yourself out!
A
August 30th, 2010
9:14 am
Just another example of how self-absorbed our Facebook world has become. I think most people don’t care one bit if you’re having a boy or girl; if they are really your friends they’d hope you have a healthy, happy child…and really isn’t that everyone’s wish? Can we stop now with these really lame parties to celebrate every little thing?
JATL
August 30th, 2010
9:14 am
SOoooooooo CUTE! Yeah, and that’s why it makes me want to gag a little bit. I know so many couples (women) who would think this was just the cutest thing! They’re also still wearing personalized, monogrammed hair ornaments into their late 30s. OH well, to each their own. I would certainly go eat pizza, drink beer and down some cake if one of our friends decided to do this, but it’s one of those things that, to me, is just “too cute” -i.e. gag inducing. I also think it’s kind of personal and something you may want to share with one another privately and then with close family first. I know our parents would have been a little upset if we had decided to have some party to announce this and to find out ourselves before even telling them. Yeah, it’s not the grandparents baby, I know, but still -I wouldn’t blame them.
AZ mom
August 30th, 2010
9:18 am
Well, it definitely is a unique way to find out. I’m very traditional and would wait til the baby is born to find out.
Mrs. G
August 30th, 2010
9:32 am
Call me crazy, but I see nothing wrong with it, if that’s what the parents want. And I wouldn’t see them as self-absorbed at all; rather, the opposite – they are throwing a party for their friends and family to attend in order to share some exciting news in a fun way (and, regardless of what some of you are saying, I think that people other than the immediate family care…I’ve been ecstatic to find out the sexes of all of my girlfriends’ (and cousins’) babies!). I would feel differently if this type of party was some sort of ploy for an extra shower, but I’m not getting the impression that is.
Personally, I would want finding out to be more of a private moment with less fanfare, but I would be delighted to go to a friend or family member’s “sex party” – in my social circle, we’re always looking for an excuse to get together and have a good time.
Life is short…have fun with it!
Geez, Becky...
August 30th, 2010
9:32 am
…talk about snarky – please re- read what you wrote and tell how that is not snarky…
OK Mrs. G...
August 30th, 2010
9:33 am
…you are officially crazy…
Really, y'all...
August 30th, 2010
9:35 am
…do some of you REALLY care whether your friend, sister, cousin, mother, etc is having a baby boy or a girl – is it REALLY that important?
1911A1
August 30th, 2010
9:35 am
Not the first thing I thought of when I read “Sex Party,” that’s for sure…I thought it was going to be another teen-related topic.
BlondeHoney
August 30th, 2010
9:47 am
I’m with someguy…I’d be pretty disppointed if I was invited to a “Sex Party” only to find pizza and pink cake. Seriously, how self-absorbed can you be to think that 50 of your “closest friends” are that excited to find out the (possibly wrong) sex of your baby? I’m one of those who didn’t want to know; after all, why take away the only suspense of having a baby? If I did want to know I’m not throwing a PARTY to announce it for pete’s sake
cc
August 30th, 2010
9:50 am
I am suprised that people think that this is a self centered way to share the sex of your baby. One of the first ?’s asked to an expecting mom is “What are you having” . I think the sex party is a fun way for the parents to get together with their friends and family and share a special moment. It is not like the parents to be are asking total strangers over to observe the big reveal. It is their friends and family and I hope most of you are fortunate enough to have people in your life that would like to share in the joy of your news.
JJ
August 30th, 2010
10:03 am
When I was pregnant, someone asked me what I was having. I replied – “A baby”. The look on their face was priceless….
Michelle
August 30th, 2010
10:06 am
Boy, some people are crabby today! Gee whiz!
I like to know the sex of friends babies because then I know what I can get them. I like to find “just” the right things and sometimes it takes a little while!
Just FYI, we wanted to know the sex of our little guy and so did about 50 other people!! And trust me, there was NO doubt on the ultrasound. He was proudly flashing it around! LOL!
Now, the party might be a little over the top, but you know what, it’s their party! And…if their friends choose to come, good for them!
I think it’s great to have so many friends and family to actually share the excitement with!
LWA
August 30th, 2010
10:33 am
I have mixed emotions on this topic. I love having friends over for some reason or another so this is one more reason to have a gathering.
If everyone attended the party knowing that it was a “sex party” then they wanted to be there to share in the couples joy. If not, they would have stayed at home.
DB
August 30th, 2010
10:38 am
We didn’t know the sex of our first baby, and loved the excitement at his birth. We did know with the second one, because at that point, ultrasounds were becoming more common. The tech asked us if we wanted to know, “because it’s very obvious!” and we looked at each other and made a split-second decision: Tell us.
However, we didn’t tell ANYONE else — not even our parents. I dunno, I guess I felt like it would jinx it, or something! It was OUR secret, and we kept it until she was born. My mother was very annoyed — suggesting that if she knew, she could get to work on her cross-stitched Christmas stocking . . .(very elaborate, take about four months to finish). I told her that we were doing it the old-fashioned way, and that she of all people should be able to appreciate it! She was not amused . . .
@JJ: LOVE your comeback! My husband smart-alek answer was “Triplets — one of each.”
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
August 30th, 2010
11:02 am
I don’t know if @MJG and Hey Andrea.. are the same person but I would really appreciate it if you backed off of MJG. If you’re not interested in what she is sharing then don’t read her comments. Her name is on top of them — it’s easy to spot. We are more than happy to have new blood and new opinions on the blog. We welcome that but we don’t like harassment of fellow posters. Picking up from Friday and harassing again on Monday is not nice. We would love to hear your opinions, not your attacks on MJG.
David S
August 30th, 2010
11:03 am
Celebrating the fact that you exposed your child to potentially harmful ultrasonic waves, just because you couldn’t wait and just find out the old fashioned way like billions and billions of parents before you. Congratulations. Let’s face it, you can never get an early enough start on promoting gender stereotypes – and what better way.
cc
August 30th, 2010
11:10 am
to David S, knowing if your baby is a boy or a girl is not a gender stereotype. I don’t think I have meet any parents that have a child and say oh, we are going to let him or her decide if he or she is a boy or a girl. Basic anatomy tells you gender.
Becky
August 30th, 2010
11:15 am
@Geez Becky..Yes, that shoe fits me and I have it in every color..I’m very proud of it, thank you..
I guess because there are so many in my family, knowing the sex of the baby isn’t a big issue to us..I love kids and if the parents want to know, that’s great for them..I have a niece that is pregnant now and as with her first child, she will find out boy or girl when it’s born..
JATL
August 30th, 2010
11:33 am
My other comment disappeared, but I’m with TechMom -I thought we were going to be discussing Passion Parties! Bummer!
Tons of people actually did want to know what I was having both times. I was constantly asked what I was having, and I didn’t mind sharing, but something about having a party for this seems to go overboard. I have a feeling these are the same people who will be having 5 baby showers and a sip-n-see/Christening party then spending $1000 on the first birthday. I’m all for celebrating a new or impending arrival, but for me, some of this stuff just gets to be too much, and I’m a party fanatic! I love to plan them, throw them and attend them but some things in our society have gone overboard (people who have 10 wedding showers/parties) and folks having crazy numbers of baby showers or spending $20,000 on their daughter’s 16th birthday-this sounds like it would really appeal to that demographic.
UF Mom
August 30th, 2010
11:39 am
I think David was saying “promote gender stereotypes” because many people will immediately go out and shop according to gender…all pink and princess-y for little girls, blue and boyish for the lads. That is a whole ‘nother soapbox that I will refrain from getting up on today *lol*
penguinmom
August 30th, 2010
11:40 am
I probably wouldn’t have one of these parties but I don’t have a problem with someone else doing it. I don’t really think it is imposing on either the guests or the person who helped. I would certainly be willing to run an order up to the bakery for any of my friends. It’s not like they asked her to bake the cake herself.
I was actually impressed that it wasn’t an excuse to get presents. This really was just celebrating a moment with people you like. It isn’t for everyone but that doesn’t make it wrong.
We found out with two of our kids and not with the middle one. I don’t think it ‘ruins’ the surprise. It just moves the surprise up a few months. For our youngest, it allowed us to know which set of hand-me-down clothes we could start getting rid of.
Photius
August 30th, 2010
11:43 am
Touche! Back off Mother Jane Goose. She is different, but I personally enjoy reading her comments. Leave her alone, please.
Okay, Theresa, your message re: motherjane...
August 30th, 2010
11:53 am
…is loud and clear – however, in my defense, and since you brought it up re: Friday, do you not find it at least somewhat defensable in that SHE fired the first shot today by referencing Friday’s comments (and this is not the first time that SHE chooses her words to inflame a past post)?
On topic, we did not know the sex of our kids prior to the delivery and the OB saying you have a ——-…and I think it screams self indulgence for anyone to think that everyody else is as interested so as to have a prty to announce the gender…
Okay, Photius...
August 30th, 2010
11:54 am
…you can be the new target…
Peachy
August 30th, 2010
12:05 pm
I went to one of these for a friend the other week and had a blast! They weren’t asking us to bring presents or anything, just come over eat some food and then watch them cut a cake to find out what sex the baby was gonna be. It was a fun time to hang out with friends, catch up and talk about the soon to be arriving baby. I don’t see that as too over the top….
Would I do it, personally no. I can’t imagine planning a party while 5 months pregnant and I like to wait until the delivery to find out, but this lady wanted to and wanted to share the joy with her friends. More power to her! I don’t see this as self-centered if someone didn’t want to come because they though it was stupid or narcassistic they didn’t have to.
Life is short, I say celebrate the small stuff! Do it your own way and don’t care about what other people say. If you want to do it with a gender reveal party or a passion party, do it and have a great time! I bet in 50 years you will look back fondly on the celebrations, and maybe even feel bad about your rude blog attacks…
NCSTMom
August 30th, 2010
12:21 pm
I have mixed feelings about these… While I think it is certainly creative, I also honestly think it is kind of tacky. It’s also kind of presumptive to assume that your friends honestly care what the sex of your child is enough to want to attend a party for it, especially if it isn’t your first child.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
August 30th, 2010
12:27 pm
I want to take a minute and defend Greg and his wife. First off they are just the nicest people and are not self centered. People have parties to celebrate the birth of their babies (welcome to the world party), they invite everybody and their brother to the baby’s first birthday (we had probably 30 people at Rose’s first birthday) — especially with first babies you are just so thrilled that you want to share everything. If the people weren’t interested they didn’t have to come to the party. people are going to ask what you are having and I think that’s a nice way to share — people have been telling what they were having long before this generation so i think that is unfair to act like sharing the sex of your child is a me generation thing.
catlady
August 30th, 2010
12:29 pm
My daughter and SIL gathered all the FAMILY together to announce the gender of their first child. Low key, cook out, relaxed, just close family. They pulled out a blue big (and we all KNEW it was a boy) and the bib said I am NOT a BOY on it. So we got precious Lily.
YUKI
August 30th, 2010
12:37 pm
“promote gender sterotypes”??? you have got to be kidding!!!!
Kate
August 30th, 2010
12:38 pm
I’m with JATL, this sounds like the dumbest excuse for a party ever.
Personally, I wanted to know the sex of all three of my babies at the ultrasound, but I was kind of embarrassed that I couldn’t bear to wait until they were born. I don’t know why I wanted to know so badly since I really didn’t care one way or the other about their gender and was very relieved that the ultrasounds showed a healthy baby. It is like opening your presents before Christmas, but I always had problems with that too! Yes, I couldn’t wait to tell all my friends and family the news, but if I had made them indure a beer and pizza “sex party” (could this have a more inappropriate name?), none of them would have ever spoken to me again!
lakerat
August 30th, 2010
12:44 pm
Sorry, T, but I have to disagree that your friends are NOT self-centered when they planned this party – yes, bunches of people celebrate a kid’s first birthday, but you are not comparing apples to apples in this situation. You are truly celebrating a live being and the fact that they are alive.
While there can be pros and cons as to the fetus being at an appropriate age to determine the sex, is this an appropriate activity? Some have said yes; some have said no. In either case, it still screams LOOK AT ME, and IMHO, anytime you scream this you are self centered, no matter the situation.
BlondeHoney
August 30th, 2010
1:12 pm
BTW, don’t feed the David S troll…he never ever contributes anything meaningful to either this or the Get Schooled blog and is always negative. I’m surprised he didn’t somehow manage to drag in government schools into a sex party discussion. Lakerat, agree totally and Kate, love the analogy about likening knowing your baby’s sex is akin to opening your christmas presents early.
Rebecca
August 30th, 2010
1:17 pm
I am friends with the parents, was invited to attend the party, and had a blast! The fact that so many of you assume this party had selfish undertones just proves that you don’t know the individuals who threw it. This was a unique idea and an excuse to get together with family and friends and enjoy some time together. I am a single young adult without kids, and it never crossed my mind that this party was a narcistic act. Because I care about these two people, I also care about things that they value–i.e. the birth of their first child.
For all you negative people posting on this blog, you clearly don’t have close friends and family to share in life’s joys with you. Maybe you should stop criticising people’s personal decisions on the internet and go out and make real connections with real people!
David S
August 30th, 2010
1:26 pm
On safety – lots of linked articles:
http://www.alternamoms.com/ultrasound.html
BlondeHoney – Just because everyone is doing it does not make it smart or safe. These blogs need a contrarian since the herd of lemmings seems to have no problem running towards the cliff and everyone else is just cheering them on with their posts. I am happy to be that contrarian voice.
Michelle
August 30th, 2010
1:36 pm
If your friends were having a superbowl party, or summer party, welcome to spring party, etc. you would go right? So why not a party to join your friends in learning about the sex of their baby? From my understanding…it is a surprise to them as well! I think it would be fun to have your closest friends with you when you learn about the baby! It adds a little excitement for everyone and makes them feel like they were somehow a “part” of the celebration!
Kate
August 30th, 2010
1:40 pm
David S., You sound like a real barrel of laughs. If I ever have a sex party (of any kind) you are going to be the first my invite list! :)
Seriously, ultrasounds have been a standard procedure at most OB/GYN offices for about the last 15 years. Although, if you are far enough along, they can usually tell the sex of the baby, that isn’t their specific pupose. Ultrasounds are a very useful tool for Doctors to be able to diagnose things like heart defects and other serious problems. I agree having an unnecessary ultrasound for the sole purpose of finding out the sex of the baby is a dumb idea and not worth whatever minimal risk involved, but I really think people who do that are in the minority.
Rebecca, you’re a better woman than me. I would have found that party utterly vomit-inducing, even without the pizza and beer!
DarBlue
August 30th, 2010
1:44 pm
That idea awesome!
Johnny Reb
August 30th, 2010
1:50 pm
What a great idea! Greg and Sheryl are on to something! The rest of you are just jealous.
BlueDar
August 30th, 2010
1:55 pm
DarBlue,
You as stupid. Baby no make pink cake; san, ni ichi: XO!
Go back into horse u came from. Cake is yummy with choco icing, but choco = brown, no pink. no. no, BAD darblue BAD.
xo
BlueDar
Javetz
August 30th, 2010
1:58 pm
I am also friends of the family and I have a bad headache right about now, WHY MEEEEE :-(
time to have a coke … and a javetz :- /
eh
August 30th, 2010
2:10 pm
Sorry to be rude, but my care factor on the sex of someone else’s baby is pretty low.
I wonder if the father of the girl was able to hide the disappointment on his face when he saw the pink icing.
Hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but every man wants a little boy.
LK
August 30th, 2010
2:12 pm
Sounds like a fun idea, althought I’ve NEVER heard them call “Sex” parties. I’ve heard them called “Gender Reveal Parties.”
I see how people see this as self centered, but I just look at the basics – the couple is hosting dinner and no gifts are to be brought by the guests. Basically, they are throwing a dinner party and inviting some friends over. These same friends would have called the next day to say, “What are you having?” so they are telling everyone at once in a special way. They get no harsh judgment from me. Sounds sweet – and fun!
Sorry, Rebecca...
August 30th, 2010
2:13 pm
…we are not saying that we do not have “close friends and family to share in life’s joys with” – we are just saying that if you truly wanted to share a sex party to let everyone know the sex of the child (everyone knows you are having a child so why should we care about what sex it is) then you should REALLY have a “sex party” where your “close” friends participate in the sex part – now those would be really close friends.
And, Kate – you may be just a tad late to the “ultrasound” party – they have been around significantly longer than “about the last 15 years” – we had them for both of my kids (no, we did not learn the sex, just had them as a normal part of the pregancy routine) and my kids are now 25 and 22…
kat
August 30th, 2010
2:30 pm
I don’t get it – how do pink and blue tell anyone anything about the baby? How does everyone suddenly know at the very moment they see the inside of the cake? Are girl babies born with pink skin and boy babies with blue skin, so the cake is representative of the baby? Otherwise why would pink be representative of a girl and blue a boy? Why would you need to know whether the baby is a girl or a boy to buy or make it a Christmas stocking or some clothes? Does the baby already know when it’s born that it’s required to like only pink or only blue, or do the parents teach it that, and forbid it from wearing the other color under any circumstances? Why?
countrygirl
August 30th, 2010
2:32 pm
I think it is totally neat, but my husband and I waited until the moment of delivery! It was a really special time and we enjoyed our few moments together before we told our huge families. It was awesome! I think that if someone wants to do it this way, then that is their choice. It’s great either way.
BlondeHoney
August 30th, 2010
2:38 pm
If “it’s just a couple having friends over for a dinner party”…well, why DIDN’T they just have friends over for a dinner party? Why is this needed for an excuse? Just have a dinner party for pete’s sake :)
Carmen
August 30th, 2010
2:41 pm
I don’t get the big deal. Outside of Mom & Dad, and maybe grandparents…nobody really cares what sex your baby is. It’s a baby. People have them every day…have been for ages. Short of another excuse to eat cake and drink beer, why make a big fuss over it.
Warrior Woman
August 30th, 2010
2:46 pm
I personally wanted to be surprised at birth. On the other hand, I’m completely flabbergasted that so many people are offended by this. I think this falls in the category of “if you don’t approve, then don’t participate.”
My two cents
August 30th, 2010
3:01 pm
I disagree with the sentiment that people who are having the reveal party are self-centered. It is possible that a caring friend or family member suggested the idea, volunteered to coordinate with the bakery, plan the party, etc. Just because they are the guests of honor, doesn’t mean they are self-absorbed. When a couple has a wedding shower, nobody calls them names and snaps to judgment, so why should we with baby parties?
I, personally, do care what gender child my friends are having. I don’t have a preference, but I care, because I care about my friends and I care about the potential future friends of my child. If my friends choose to share an event such as this, I would be thrilled to be included in such a special moment for them.
My sister cared so very deeply about my baby’s gender, that she even offered to buy one of those tests that is supposed to show you (you pee in the jar, the liquid in the jar turns green for a boy and orange for a girl). She was thrilled about becoming an aunt and wanted to know what she was going to be spoiling. She was so frustrated with me that I wouldn’t find out my baby’s gender in advance.
Just because you don’t care about the gender of your friends’ babies, doesn’t mean others don’t. And just because you wouldn’t do something like this yourself, doesn’t mean that you’re less self-centered than someone who does.
JATL
August 30th, 2010
3:02 pm
I don’t think it’s that people are necessarily offended by it; it’s just that a bunch of us think it’s pretty silly. As I said, if invited to one, I would probably go, but I would still think it kind of silly! And I would never do this myself because I would feel really silly inviting people over for this purpose, BUT I will say that some things change with age as well. Right now at 40, I would feel dumb asking people over for this, but 15 years ago, if I had elected to have children in my 20s, I may have done it.
Iconoclast
August 30th, 2010
3:10 pm
I just can’t wait for the arrival of genetic testing for sexual orientation: We want to paint the nursery lavender and host baby’s first coming-out party!
YUKI
August 30th, 2010
3:13 pm
I have one sister and she has three girls. You can bet your butt my family was excited to find out (early) that I was having a boy. So were my friends. If nobody cares what you are having then I just plain feel sorry for you.
I’m all about having “another excuse to eat cake and drink beer”. Some of you are big old party poopers.
Sorry, YUKI...
August 30th, 2010
3:20 pm
…but I really doubt any one REALLY cared whether you had a boy or a girl – after all, having a baby is what it is all about, and you can rest assured everyone would have been just as excited if you had said it was a girl (now maybe after 4 tries they would have been happy for your sister, but for you, probably not so much…but we are glad that everything worked out for you and the baby…
None
August 30th, 2010
3:21 pm
I don’t see any harm in it. People are always so eager to be offended about the excitement of new parents, with their nasty comments. It’s not like these people demanded gifts or registered for their gender party. They entertained their guests, provided dinner and beer, and gave their friends and family a good time. They also included those folks in one of the most exciting parts of the pregnancy. Good for them. It sounds creative and fun.
LM
August 30th, 2010
3:42 pm
I didn’t want to know so I didn’t ask when I had my one and only ultrasound. I am sure my husband and his family would have loved to know before the birth since he already had a girl. And I know I would not have wanted to of found out in front of a bunch of friends. I had really wanted a boy and remember crying thinking it a girl, I would not have wanted my friends to have seen me like that. When she was born, I had a moment of saddness since she was a girl and not a boy. But after that moment I could not understand why a boy was so important. Later when my SIL had the boy, remembered and all the fears of having a girl came true, she just stopped exsisting in the eyes of his family. It was their loss.
But I have to question why so many here a judging? Either way it is the couples decision as to how they want to find out and good for them for making the decission that works for them.
Andrea
August 30th, 2010
3:54 pm
@Hey Andrea: Generally most invitations come with an option of accepting or declining them. So, no one could “make” someone come to the party. They came because they chose to. So that would not make the parents narcissistic.
Jairs
August 30th, 2010
4:00 pm
In this life of certain uncertainties, celebrate everything big and small! If you want to do it go right ahead, if you don’t, sit quietly but don’t judge others who do. People are called “friends and family” for a reason. These are the people who care about you from the top of your pointy head to the bottom of dry, dust feet and all points in between! They care deeply about you and because they do they are the ones who will celebrate your joys and triumphs and cry when you’re hurting. Why shouldn’t they celebrate another milestone in your pregnancy with you?
At the end of the day once the invites go out, each recipient makes a personal decision, either yippee this is cool..I definitely want to be there….or heck no I don’t want to be bothered. No one is being forced to participate.
anonymous32
August 30th, 2010
4:30 pm
Seems a little excessive. I mean, you already have the baby shower. How many times do all of your friends need to get together to celebrate that you are having a baby? I mean, sheesh.
Theresa Walsh Giaruso
August 30th, 2010
5:11 pm
OK all you Moms out there, for the 10000000th time. Nobody cares (at all) about your pregnancy, fertility, baby’s sex, baby’s name,baby’s this, baby’s that, baby’s anything BUT YOU!
And leave ‘em at home if your going out to a restaurant too please.
kitcat
August 30th, 2010
5:44 pm
Can we get a spell check on the name at 5:11…if you are entering as an imposter PLEASE at least spell the name correctly and remember to shade your post in gray see: 11:02 today!
Just sayin'
August 30th, 2010
5:45 pm
My husband and I did this very thing, actually, and it was a lot of fun. Did we expect people to go all crazy and gaga over our news? Of course not. However, it was a special moment for us, and many of our friends later said thanks for letting them in on it. Then again, this is our first child and one of the first among our group of friends, so it’s “new” to everyone. Anyhow, it wasn’t self-centered or anything of the kind, nor was it a ploy for shower gifts. (We received some congrats cards and nothing else.) It was really just a party with a sort of mystery at the end. By the way, we called it a “gender party” to avoid any confusion or misconceptions. We had fun. Our friends had fun. Not really sure how it could be seen as self-centered unless people got huffy if you didn’t come. I suppose, like many things, it’s how you approach it. Our gender party was all in the name of fun – not to mention some really delicious cake.
deidre_NC
August 30th, 2010
8:23 pm
well its for sure not something i would do…i really didnt want to know the sex before and the only one i did know was the last one…i had a very difficult pregnancy and with so many ultrasounds i finally succumbed lol…if people want to have a party like this who cares. i probably wouldnt go to it…but thats me. i also dont go to any kids birthday party under the age of 4…except for my grandkids. my oldest daughter would so have a party like this!! she is all about all that kind of thing. she is one who will invite a million people to a 1 year old bd party…and she loves it…and evidently so do a lot of people because they all sure show up lol…so to each his or her own. just not my cup of tea…but lots of things arent.
BTW!!! aforementioned oldest daughter will give birth to a brand new baby girl named devin on sept 1st…wednesday:):):)….my 5th grandchild..3rd grand daughter …
JATL
August 30th, 2010
8:51 pm
Congratulations deidre_NC!
LM
August 30th, 2010
10:09 pm
Congratulations Deidre_NC on your new grandbaby who will share the same birthday as my daughter.
deidre_NC
August 30th, 2010
10:47 pm
thanks yall!! im so excited :):)!!
motherjanegoose
August 31st, 2010
7:36 am
whoo hooo deidre…best wishes!
ATLien
August 31st, 2010
8:01 am
Those that keep saying “no one cares about the sex of your baby” sound like the self-absorbed ones who can’t stand when someone else gets attention. When you are pregnant you get asked by family, friends, servers, the Publix checkout lady, strangers on the street “what are you having??” There’s nothing wrong with celebrating life and sharing in the joys.
DB
August 31st, 2010
8:16 am
@JATL: What’s wrong with a christening party? In our family, they are BIG deals! The entire family comes from all over the Southeast for a baby’s christening — and since they are all in town anyway, why NOT have a party? We had almost 50 people (family, mostly, with a couple of close friends thrown in) at my daughter’s christening 20 years ago, and with that many people in town, NOT having a party would have been downright inhospitable!
babies
August 31st, 2010
8:31 am
We didn’t find out until the delivery. It was an unbelievable experience and I would never want to find out. Everyone convinced us it was a boy – I guess because she had a huge pregnant belly. Some people asked if she was having twins. When the doctor said it was a girl I absolutely couldn’t believe it. It still brings tears to my eyes today.
Baby Gender Party | Strollerderby
August 31st, 2010
9:32 am
[...] to Momania, this kind of party might be a bona fide trend as there are bakeries that now specialize in [...]
kat
August 31st, 2010
5:22 pm
To just sayin at 5:45 – learn the difference between sex and gender. It’s very possible that you won’t know your child’s gender for quite a while.
Mork
August 31st, 2010
11:09 pm
Leave him alone! I happen to know Mr. Bluestein and he is not self-centered at all! He just likes to share the special moments of his life with all of his friends. He’s had parties for his anniversary, a going away party for when he came to visit me, and a coming home party after! And he had a party the time he finally met his weight loss goal! He always buys the best beer and food for these parties and gives us amazing goody bags (once he I got a blackberry).
He had party for his promotion just last week and bought a gourmet cake shipped in from a celebrity chef in New York! It was so delicious and thoughtful of him!
For this one, he comped us all with gas money for making it and he even promised to drive my car to Texas for me in exchange for me showing up! Super nice guy!
Kat
September 2nd, 2010
11:08 am
I just want to make sure that I distinguish myself as “Kat” from “kat” (who seems to have a problem with the conventional color scheme of pink for girls and blue for boys). I do think the party is a fun idea, not my personal cup of tea, but I’ve been to parties for odder reasons – engagements (please bring us gifts), housewarmings (please bring us gifts), etc. If they are going to feed you and provide adult beverages, who can complain? If it’s not your type of party, then don’t go. It’s like this blog – if you don’t like it, then don’t read it.
AUgurl
September 7th, 2010
4:00 pm
I think it is a great idea personally but for you all that is on here putting the “sex party” down, Are yall mad because yall didnt think of it first? And some people may have had multiple pregrancies and didnt make it far enough to tell what the gender of their child was going to be! So dont knock the party just because you dont like it or think its a lame idea cause you dont know what the parents have been through to get to find the gender of a baby!
It’s a Boy! It’s a Girl! It’s a Technology-Enabled “Sex Party”! | Front Porch Republic
September 9th, 2010
5:02 am
[...] womb, a fascination that can get pretty creepy and overdone. Some parents are having what they call “sex parties,” where they reveal the sex of their baby in some cutesy way. Websites offer reams of advice on how [...]