Are girls worse bullies than boys?

Time magazine ran an interesting Q&A with two mothers/researchers who have written a book about girl bullies. The book is called Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-Proof Girls in the Early Grades (St. Martin’s Griffin ), by Michelle Anthony and Reyna Lindert.

Time magazine bills this article as “How to bullyproof young girls” but I actually don’t think they give you quite enough information in the article t o accomplish that (because the authors want you to buy the book!) However, the Q&A with Anthony does give some interesting insight into girl bullying.

Here are the salient facts I took to heart from it:

While the mean girl act peaks in middle schools, it begins in elementary school.

Often little girls feel isolated and deal with the bullying on their own. Don’t assume it will pass. They need real techniques to deal with it.

You need to involve the schools to help not just mom or dad. The school has resources like the teacher and counselor.

Separating to a different class can help but in some cases you may have to pull from class.

I guess we need to buy the book for more detail!  In the mean time, in a related story. Time ran this back in April about how not to raise a bully – how to instill empathy.

So what do you think:

Are girl bullies worse than boys?

Is is happening in elementary school? (We had a “mean girl” in preschool who judged the other girls on bows in their hair and they were out if she didn’t approve!)

What do you think of their tips for dealing with girl bullies?

What would you add to make it more complete?


94 comments Add your comment

Jeff

August 27th, 2010
6:33 am

Why are we brushing off the issue of boys being bullied? And, no, it’s not a BIGGER issue for girls. Why can’t we just discuss bullying of all kids?

How to stop a bully (be it male or female), when it gets to the point of no return, walk up to the bully and punch them in the nose as HARD as you can. Let the chips fall where they will after that with principals, etc. But the bullying will stop. It worked every time I used it, and at 5′8″, 140lbs in HS, I had to use it more than once.

But, Jeff...

August 27th, 2010
6:39 am

…those chips now include going to jail (or the juvenile equivalent), getting suspended from school permanently, and the ever present lawsuit by the parents. Not exactly well thought out advice there…but it does eliminate the bully aspect, as you suggest, since the responder will no longer be at the school…

DB

August 27th, 2010
6:52 am

@Jeff: I think the distinction that the authors offer is a valid one: Girls do tend to be more social/relational bullies, whereas boys tend to be more physical bullies. It’s a little harder for parents to recognize when their daughter is being bullied, because parents tend to schluff off relationship issues more casually than physical issues. And while I have absolutely no facts to back up my suspicion on this, I’d venture that most internet bullying is of the girl vs. girl sort — simply because it takes place on so-called “social networks.” If a boy is being bullied, it’s usually pretty overt. But if a girl is being bullied, it’s sometimes harder for parents to recognize it and help girls deal with it, because it’s NOT physical.

I have to admit, though — I’m still unclear how much the authors consider normal childhood social adaptation to be bullying. It seldom (or never) happens that a child floats through life with no conflict. Kids aren’t finished yet, and they don’t often exercise the niceties of social interactions adeptly and with grace. So whereas we might just avoid someone who talked loudly or perhaps didn’t bathe as often as they should, kids are a lot more direct: “SHUT UP! NO ONE WANTS TO LISTEN TO YOU!” or “Ugh — you stink!” Is that bullying? It sure isn’t nice . . .

Jeff

August 27th, 2010
7:03 am

Middle school and high school kids don’t go to jail for punching soneone in the nose.

But go ahead and “think” it to death, have rallies, have “Awareness” meetings. How’s that been working?

It took the one or two 3-day suspensions, took the punishment from my parents (although with a knowing little wink wink from them) and things moved on. I didn’t have to deal with the bullying for years on end.

But, Jeff...

August 27th, 2010
7:12 am

..the point that you missed was THAT was THEN, THIS is NOW – duh – if I have to explain it, it ain’t funny…

MomOf2Girls

August 27th, 2010
7:49 am

Most schools hold the bully and the responder to the same standards now. If the responder does as @Jeff suggests, there will be pretty severe consequences, as @But, Jeff says. That’s one of the things that makes it much harder to deal with bullying now. It reminds me of an old Robin Williams routine, where he talks about how British police can’t carry guns, so they tell someone “Stop, or I’ll say stop again!”. If a bully doesn’t care about the consequences, he / she won’t stop, and many don’t care if they are suspended (expulsions are so rare that they probably aren’t even considered), so that takes the teeth out of the bullying policy.

I don’t think girls are worse, just different. As I understand it from friends with boys, it remains an individual issue for boys. It’s usually physical, with some fairly crude taunting. With girls, it turns into a civil war, with the bully gathering her troups, the victim lining up her loyal friends (if any remain), and a vicious but subtle (to adults, not to the girls) war ensues. Very nasty, almost always under the radar.

Jeff

August 27th, 2010
8:11 am

Momof2, in a way , you’re making my point for me. Civil wars, rally the posses, drag it out for weeks, months, years. If a bully doesn’t care about being suspended, what makes you think they are going to change their behaviour over “talking it out”, awareness campaigns, signs and rallies? My method is a last resort, but sometimes it’s necessary, and it ALWAYS works. And the one on the receiving end of the bullying isn’t in therapy in their 20’s and talking about how much the bullying affected them psychologically for years on end because it wouldn’t stop.

Photius

August 27th, 2010
8:22 am

I taught mine to strike back quickly and inflict as much pain as possible in one hard blow. I told my boy I did not care if he got a suspension either; just take the bully out instantly. Sure enough, I get the call – suspension – I was lectured via the Principle, but my child was never picked on again.

RJ

August 27th, 2010
8:22 am

I don’t know what’s going on with girls today, but they are getting meaner with every generation. We are raising a generation of angry and confused kids. Girls fight worse than boys, which is why I won’t ever try to stop a girl fight…they go for blood. I can stop two boys from fighting more more easily, even the real fighters. But I wouldn’t risk my safety with two girls. I just think we have a lot of kids in search of something. Maybe it’s love, I don’t know. But they’re really angry. The latest trend seems to be girls “hooking up”. My daughter and I have talked about this often. She said they always say they’re just doing it now but they’re gonna go back to boys. Some even have a girlfriend and a boyfriend. They’re inundated with all of these images and don’t know how to handle them. Don’t get me wrong, some kids are gay. But the trend I’m seeing is not kids actually being gay, just trying things out. It concerns me because these decisions will come back to haunt them some day. There will be a lot of adults needing therapy because they were so confused as kids.

Parents need to step up and be parents. Those of you on this blog are the exception. If you’re not having conversation with your kids, you have no idea what they’re thinking, how they’re feeling or what they’re doing. It’s really quite sad.

The topic centers on GIRL bullies...

August 27th, 2010
8:30 am

…yet we get two men who present their macho view of how they teach their BOYS – get a life fellas, and leave the mommy views to the moms…

motherjanegoose

August 27th, 2010
8:52 am

Jeff, I appreciate your thoughts…just not sure of the outcome in schools today. Now, if you took it out at the neighborhood park…that might be different.

Some kids are just mean as snakes and they could come by it honestly. We went through this with our son in 5th grade. As previously mentioned, he switched to a new school in 5th grade in September. The other students had been there since Kinder and were not inclined to a new student. It was a tough year and even the teacher could not do much. Our son was bright, outgoing and somewhat confident. This was a REAL set back and his self esteem plummeted. He now mentions that those days were dark days for him. He moved to MS and then things were mixed up the next year. He s quite comfortable in his arena now. He falls into the brains before braun ( sp) situation. While he could knock the socks off of someone, he is not a fighter by nature.

Our family is involved with LOTS of different types of people and thus our kids are used to interacting with most everyone. They do not understand uppity or exclusive individuals as in “y’aint from around here…”

When I taught 2nd grade, over 25 years ago, the girls were already catty ( sorry catlady). I did not have children of my own then and could not believe what I saw. Having worked with a lot of woman, I see this continues into adulthood in many cases.

My daughter came home from HS one day and told me about a group of girls that was knocking the fiddlesticks out of each other in the cafeteria. She asked me why they did that and I told her that some people solve their problems by fighting. Dad would not walk over to our neighbor, ring the door bell and punch our neighbor’s lights out if we were mad about something. That is just us.

I am not sure how to solve this dilemma, in our society we are so PC that we are sometimes not effective with REAL LIFE answers. Many parents advocate/ignore the rude behavior in their children.

@ RJ…what does this mean:
Parents need to step up and be parents. Those of you on this blog are the exception.

I love your first sentence. Does the second one mean none of us have to step up here or that you think everyone who visits this blog is already stepping up…I am confused and not sure on that one.

motherjanegoose

August 27th, 2010
8:55 am

@ the topic…Photius and Jeff have been hanging around here for quite a while and we appreciate their perspective. What exactly was your perspective on today’s topic.. I missed it but might like to know how you think we can solve the problem too!

C'mon, motherjane...

August 27th, 2010
8:58 am

…she was saying that “those of you (us) on this blog are the exception” meaning that most of us ALREADY step up and ARE being parents…

TechMom

August 27th, 2010
8:58 am

I hate that the consequences are the same for both the bully and the person being bullied but Jeff & Photius are right, if you don’t strike back, it’s just going to continue. At the risk of being an embarrassed parent because you have to go pick your kid up from school for being suspended, it seems to be the only way to effectually stop the bullying. The problem of course is that there are some kids who simply can’t or won’t defend themselves.

As for girls being worse bullies, I think it’s just different from boy bullying. Girls/women know how to hurt with words and girls are typically more jealous and nasty than boys. But in the end, it still can usually be ended by a little physical fight whereas going to the teacher, counselor, parent, etc. usually just makes it worse and more hidden.

And, motherjane...

August 27th, 2010
9:02 am

…my contribution was for MEN to stick to the topic at hand, i.e. GIRL bullies and not get off on tangents of what macho men SHOULD do – and what did YOUR questioning of my response add to this topic?

Also, what did YOU add to solve this problem? All I read from you were still more mundane ramblings about your kids, though you also added your husband, too…

And, motherjane...

August 27th, 2010
9:04 am

…if you will re-read my original “But, Jeff” comment you will see what I added to this frey…

Jeff

August 27th, 2010
9:05 am

My resolution, for boys AND girls, is to try any means that you can first. Talk, call the parents, call the principal. But DO NOT let it drag on and on. When all else fails, fight back the only way a bully understands. Make it quick and painful. With the realization that you will probably get suspended, you’ve done what you need to do to sleep at night.

Peachy

August 27th, 2010
9:18 am

I don’t know that girl bullies are necessarily meaner, but I think the girl victim takes it alot harder than the boy victim. I’m not trying to say boys don’t have feelings; I’m just saying I think girls feelings get hurt more easily. I think that boys and girls are buliled by each other for different reasons, and as was previously said little girls are catty (just like grown women). I don’t think the answer always involves a parent or teacher swooping in and saving the day. I think we have to teach our little girls to hold their heads high, respond with class, and stand up for themselves. Is this easy? No, but this catty bullying does not stop in middle school it goes onto high school, college, and the work place so we ahve to teach girls skills to deal with these beaches ;) so they can succeed at all levels of life.

First time poster

August 27th, 2010
9:20 am

Thankfully my daughter hasn’t had to deal with bullies too much. She’s the type of person who immediately stands up for herself, verbally or physically so no problem there. I think that is the most effective way of dealing with a bully – consequences immediately for the bully’s actions – shows them you won’t take any crap off them whether that is pyhsical or verbal.

Jesse's Girl

August 27th, 2010
9:23 am

I tell my daughters all the time that there are no creatures so evil as the middle school girl. Girls…and sadly this seems to continue into adulthood for a lot of them…can cut eachother to the core with nothing more than a single word or a perfectly timed glare. Girls seem to have no fear of acting out like this in the open. It gives them a feeling of power. Boys do it just as often, but their MO is different. They tend to be a tad more security minded. In the bathroom, in a PE class or on the field surrounded by others….this seems to be the places that boys dish it out. The bus however is fair game for both. Teach your children that while striking another person is inexcusable in most cases….punching the hell out of their bully is sometimes necessary.

Thank you, JG...

August 27th, 2010
9:37 am

…finally, a woman’s perspective on how to handle the situation, an it involves what Jeff and Photius said – it just sounds better coming from a mom…

mamaC

August 27th, 2010
9:38 am

as a early elementary teacher for six years, I know just how capable even young children are of bullying. it comes from the bully’s own lack of self-confidence. so as the teacher of a bully, you have to constantly walk the line of discipline, but also one of instilling confidence in all your students so that they don’t feel the need to turn on one another. i’ve had a couple of pretty mean kids come through my door, and I found the best way to deal with them was to alert their parents to the problem, but also to all the positives that child possessed. it really did make a difference and nipped it in the bud. and as for the poor kid who was being bullied–i made sure that one felt empowered to tell the bully to his/her face that the bully made them feel ____ b/c ____. this gave the child control over their problem, which all kids really want anyway: a sense of control in their little lives.
now i don’t know just how well my practices would work in upper elementary or even middle school, but i like to think it’s a start.

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
9:43 am

i agree with punching them in the face if necessary. boys usually hit and get it over with…girls are mean as hell. all 3 of my daughters are very strong minded and have no problem telling someone to eff off and mean it….none of them have been bullied. they have at one time or another been ostrasized by a group of girls for one reason or another. none of them have done any ostrasizing. i have taught all my kids from very young ages to 1-dont be mean ever!! and 2-dont take any crap from anyone. and they dont. if they get suspended for taking up for themselves so be it. i personally think it is ridiculous that the victim and offender are both treated equally in terms of punishment. theres you some more PC bs. but to the topic-i think girls are worse and a lot of it is because for some reason girls are more likely to get the other girls to gang up and bully in a more emotional way. boys usually just fight it out, but girls are mean and nasty and just keep stuff going on and on until someone finally is able to shoot them down verbablly or with just plain acting like they dont care. the more a victim acts like a victim the worse the bullying gets. it makes me sick, but what makes me sicker is to see this continue into adulthood. i really dont remember having as much of a bully problem when i was growing up….either from boys or girls. kids today have so many more issues it seems. who knows why really. we could go on and on trying to find reasons. and im sure that would cause lots of arguments here. but ive always told my kids, dont let them know it bothers you. if you do you are just feeding the bully’s sickness.

motherjanegoose

August 27th, 2010
9:44 am

@ whatever blog name you choose to use:

some of is can give a solution to a problem, some of us provide mundane stories about our families, while others hop on to attack whatever is going on and that is obviously allowed too. If the rest of the blog members and new guests ( welcome first time poster) enjoy reading the posts by those who hop on to simply attack, then that too serves a purpose.

Maybe most folks here prefer to read the posts that simply attack ( and will confirm this today in their posts) me…not so much.

I have enjoyed reading mundane details about other poster’s lives but I could be the only one.
Maybe not, as I have been to lunch with several folks here ( listening and telling stories for 2 hours at a time) and will now get the scoop on Becky’s life next W at lunch….LOL. Looking forward to it Becky….are you up to my mundane stories? I hope I do not bore you to tears!

DigALittleDeeper

August 27th, 2010
9:45 am

Yes, girls are worse bullies than boys. Young women are meaner and nastier to each other; than a young man could ever be to another man. A young man can inflict more pain; but with women it is more mental and skin deep. It’s the perception of being ugly, the wrong clothes and weight. Young women take those issues to heart and the other young women play on that emotionally.

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
9:46 am

grrrrrr…theresa i posted a LONG post and its not here….i dont think i can recreate it lol..please look for it!! :)

Geez, motherjane...

August 27th, 2010
9:51 am

…mundane stories on a one to one basis over lunch is NOT nearly the same as mundane stories day after day after day after day….on this site…and, what did that response add to this topic (sorry, couldn’t resist – and yes, I know, this post by me adds no insight either)…

motherjanegoose

August 27th, 2010
9:52 am

I guess I am not comprehending this:

“The bus however is fair game for both. Teach your children that while striking another person is inexcusable in most cases….punching the hell out of their bully is sometimes necessary.”

I would not want my children riding a bus where some kids are beating the crap out of each other and the bus driver looks in the mirror to see the situation…could end up in an accident. I will not need to worry about this now as neither of mine will be riding a school bus but the thought makes me shiver. If the kids are older, they could knock the bus driver out, if he/she pulled over to step in and intervene and then the entire bus could be in fisticuffs ( sp?) . Who would be there to handle things…I am not about to pull over and hop on a school bus full of fighting.

JG…you are logical and sensible…please tell me what you mean…did I miss it completely? Perhaps I did.

mamaC…great ideas…thanks!

Becky

August 27th, 2010
9:56 am

I’m with Jeff, Photius and JG on this one..You can overlook it a couple of times, but if it keeps on, deck one good time and go on about your business..Growing up child #9 of 10, you learn very quickly how to deal with bullies..

Of course, I never had to worry about being bullied just for that reason..When you have that many older brothers and sister, other kids learn not to pick on you and some of them learn it the hard way..

MomOf2Girls

August 27th, 2010
9:56 am

As far as hitting the bully to resolve the issue for girl bullying, I have a few problems with this.

First, I have a real problem telling my child to hit anyone unless it’s to prevent bodily harm, such as fighting off a mugger, etc. I don’t put the typical girl bullying in this category, because it’s rarely physical.

Second, because most girl bullying is verbal, this takes it to another level and will probably cause more trouble for the victim who hits than the bully who taunts.

Third, even if I did condone this, what if the bully is significantly larger? I was bullied in jr high by a girl who was HUGE (had to be 200 lbs versus my 80-90 lbs). I would venture to guess that if I had hit her, it wouldn’t have hurt her in the least, and it could easily have been the last thing I ever did on this earth.

I don’t have any easy answers here. My older girl was dealing with a situation last year with a “friend” who was sweet as sugar one minute, then a complete b**ch the next (for instance, one time she told my daughter she’s not normal because she’s missing a finger and has a stem to stern scar from life-saving surgery, both from congenital defects). Involved the administration, they intervened, but will it continue this year? I don’t know. Only time will tell.

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
9:57 am

lol..i think we can look here on this blog and see very clealy that women are more bullyish that men. there are other message boards i read-comments to a new article for instance, and it amazes me that people can be so mean. why would someone comment on a blog or message board just to say something mean and nasty. im personally sick of seeing MJG attacked time after time. we all know her style of writing, and she may not always say what you want to hear, but you can just scroll down and ignore her if you want to. she has some great advice. and it is just her style to put personal stuff in her posts. and no i havent had lunch with her so im not defending her out of a personal friendship or whatever. but just the way she is attached time and time again shows how mean and nasty people can be. and imo women are the worst. i hope this post makes it as my last one didnt.

motherjanegoose

August 27th, 2010
10:01 am

@ whatever blog name:

As mentioned before, T is in charge of this blog and if I am ruining for her and everyone else…she will let me know or block my posts. I have several e-mails from her and she even knows my phone number. T…I can take it if you need to chastise me on the blog today, let me know…I am putting my armor on!

To me, this ( today) is about the same as bullying and since I abhor it, I will walk away now and leave it up to you to provide insight. Perhaps the other posters will check in to let us know how much they enjoy your posts and despise mine.

@deirdre….thank, I guess you are in my court :)…I would enjoy lunch with you but not sure if I am ever in your area.

Have a nice weekend all!

MomOf2Girls

August 27th, 2010
10:01 am

@deidre_NC – good point about MJG (LOL)!! Motherjane, are you ready to start swinging? Personally, I admire you for staying above it all.

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
10:02 am

@momof2girls- i agree that hitting first isnt wise. i have advised my kids if someone get physical get physical back. with girls tho as you said it usually isnt physical. it is all mental. gathering up all the other girls and ignoring one or saying mean things etc. in that case i have told my girls to not EVER let them know they care. if you act like they are hurting your feelings then you are feeding their meaness. if you act like you couldnt care less what they are doing or saying…that usually will end things. its no fun to say mean things to someone who really doesnt give a eff what you are saying.

Jesse's Girl

August 27th, 2010
10:04 am

Yes..you misunderstood. I mean that the bus seems to be a shared space..if you will…for both girl and boy bullies. It happens with equal frequency for both sexes. And absolutely…if my child is being bullied and logical, common sense strategies fail….they have my blessing to knock the jeebus out of said bully.

RJ

August 27th, 2010
10:10 am

@MJG, that means that the parents on this blog are the exception. They appear to be parents that are actually parenting. Forgive me if it didn’t make much sense, but I had to run to teach my beloved scripted lesson this morning!

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
10:15 am

@MJG i would love to have lunch….but im here and you are there lol..and no i cant imagine you being up here, although i would venture to say your services could well be used. if i ever plan to be in atlanta for more than a couple of days i will get in touch and maybe we can do lunch….i personally love most of your advice and comments. and i have no problem hearing about your family. if i didnt hate to type so much yall would probably hear more mundane facts of my family life than you do already. :)

MomsRule

August 27th, 2010
10:16 am

From my own personal experience as a child, I witnessed more boy bullies than girl bullies.

Bullies Suck.

Jeff, I agree with you.

I do not advocate violence in general. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves. But, the minute someone puts their hands on my kid – the gloves come off. I will tell my child to take the offending child out. Bring on the suspensions and PO’d parents.

HB

August 27th, 2010
10:19 am

Staying above it all?! Oh please! Look, I think today’s attacks on MJG are too much, but she dishes it out pretty well too and often plays the victim saying she’s being attacked or “raked over the coals” when people disagree with her without being rude. As for bullying, she spent months ragging on me for daring to post when I don’t have kids and has repeatedly implied that I think working with children is the same as being a parent (I’ve said the opposite many times). She even took that song over to the the Get Schooled board one day when no one here would back her up! She attacked me another day when I hadn’t even posted anything! Bullying is absolutely wrong, but there are occasions when “victims” really aren’t victims and in fact, started the trouble themselves. If MJG would tone herself down just a little, ignore the trolls, and stop trying to act as board moderator by scolding posters and saying whose opinions are valid (not right or wrong, but “valid” based on her view of their experience) and whose aren’t, people would leave her alone.

Warrior Woman

August 27th, 2010
10:21 am

My girls have dealt with bullies three times. When they were bullied, I told them they had three choices: I would discuss it with the school administration; they could settle it (and if Jeff’s punch in the nose was necessary, so be it); or they could tolerate it. In one case, the bullying was limited to school, and the teachers and administration were very helpful.

In the other 2 cases, the bullying was taking place both in and out of school. We tried working through the school first, and it was a failure. The school was ineffectual, primarily because they saw no physical aspects of bullying. The other children’s parents were also bullies, and saw nothing wrong with their kids’ behaviors.

Not wanting to put up with it, we moved to option 2. With one bully, the threat that “If you don’t leave me alone, I’ll break your nose” was enough. With the other, a good whack or 2 on the sports field made her realize my daughter would stand up for herself.

If you choose the “punch in the nose” option for dealing with bullies, I recommend an off-campus location and an awareness that bullies often don’t fight fairly – they’ll gang up on a solo victim physically as well as verbally.

deidre_NC

August 27th, 2010
10:22 am

it seems that boy bullies usually torment everyone…until someone takes him down. its usually not a group thing as it is with girls. when a boy is a bully even the other boys dont like this person. a boy bully may have one or two ‘cohorts, usually boys who have no friends or have low self esteem. but with girls, a whole group of them will get caught up in one or two mean girls antics and be horrible to another girl. very different dynamics in boy bullies and girl bullies.

Busy Mom

August 27th, 2010
10:25 am

What’s the difference between a “blog member” and “new guest”? I didn’t know I had to join.

kitcat

August 27th, 2010
10:30 am

new guest = first time poster 9:20? blog member = those who have been hanging out here a while?
maybe?

DB

August 27th, 2010
10:31 am

T: Check my post – it disappeared in cyber-purgatory

lwa

August 27th, 2010
10:35 am

@Warrior Women I am with you. We can try the school route. If that doesn’t work, then we will “nip it in the bud.”

abc

August 27th, 2010
10:36 am

The only way to deal with a bully, boy or girl, is to knock their block off. That goes against current perceptions of zero tolerance, but when my kids were young, that’s what I instructed them to do: break the bully’s nose, and I showed them how to go about it, and practiced it with them. End of bullying. The schools weren’t very happy with me about it, but if they had any effectiveness in curtailing it, it wouldn’t have been necessary. Besides, has it ever been any different? Bullies only pick on those that allow it, or are incapable of sticking up for themselves. Bullies are cowards.

First time poster

August 27th, 2010
10:40 am

Never ignore bullying, ime, it only gets worse. You must confront immediately whether that is physical or verbal. Nothing shuts a bully down faster then standing up for yourself. At heart, most bullys are cowards with low self-esteem.

Also, again ime, once a bully always a bully. They grow up to be big bullies who breed more bullies.

Andrea

August 27th, 2010
10:44 am

I agree wholeheartedly with RJ. I would rather walk into the middle of Peachtree Street @5:00 on a Friday than try to stop two teenage or tween-age girls if they are fighting! I volunteered at my son’s middle school and two girls got into a fist fight and the fight honestly rivaled Ultimate Fighting.

I don’t know when it happened, but the girls of today seem so much more brutal in their bullying. They are some of the most vicious cyber-bullies I have seen. The language is shocking! And, the saddest thing is that the girls seem to have almost a wolf-pack mentality. I know that sounds harsh and I am not picking on girls (as I have a daughter as well) but I don’t know of a more accurate analogy. They stalk the girl(s) in a pack and attack until there is little or nothing left.

The girls definitely seem meaner than boys. Boys can get into a fight and they are cool with each other the next day. But, with the girls, the animosity seems to go on FOREVER. I can guess that the lingering hostility is due to the emotional nature of girls. But, I will say, and I know some will disagree, that the agressive behavior is most often directly related to something going on in the home life.

JJ

August 27th, 2010
10:45 am

Boys bully physically, girls bully mentally. I’d rather be hit and hurt for awhile, than to be f**k’d with mentally, which does more harm long term……

Girls are meaner

August 27th, 2010
10:52 am

In high school, the “in crowd” group of girls attempted to bully me, but I ignored them and eventually they left me alone. The ones who suffered were the girls who tried to belong to the group or do things to please the group, which made the bullying worse. Teach your kids to have confidence and self-esteem so they won’t have to endure the ridicule from other girls.

I don’t have girls, but I tell my two boys to never let anyone bully them. They don’t start trouble, but I tell them to defend themselves if need be. My oldest son had an experience with another boy trying to bully him. My son ignored him at first, but the boy wouldn’t let up. Finally, the bully approached my son off-campus and got in his face to try and intimidate him. Not knowing my son has been trained in taekwondo and karate since he was 4, that boy didn’t know what he stepped into. My son proceeded to whip that kid’s a$$ – with just a few punches in the right places. That kid didn’t stand a chance – went down and needed help to get up from his friends.

The school found out about it and tried to get the parents together to discuss it. I called the parents of the other kid and his mother asked me to bring my son to her house so they could fight again. I told the lady she is the reason why her son behaves the way he does and if I did bring my son to her house, she would have to witness her son getting his a$$ whipped… again. The son had more sense than the mother because the next day at school, he apologized to my son. My son hasn’t had any more issues with that boy or anyone else.