2 divorce questions from our readers: Ex not sending full child support; hubby keeps threatening divorce!

When I called out for your story ideas, we had two divorce questions. They were very different but I think both very good questions. So I’m going to package them both together and you can respond to either or both.

Here is questions No. 1:

“momof2

July 2nd, 2010, 1:26 pm

Question for the divorced moms…I am a newly divorced mom. Have been granted child support by the courts since Jan. 2010. Have only gotten the full amount 1 time but $100 here $200 there to leave him behind. I am facing a huge financial mess b/c of this…any tips on taking him back to court for the money? Everytime I bring it up he says”you put a price tag on our children”…”They are just money makers to you” and things like that…I really want for my sake and the girls that we be civil but I HAVE to have the help!!!”

Question No. 2:

“Waiting

July 14th, 2010
8:37 pm

My husband has threatened me with divorce (in 7 years when my daughter turns 18) every time I disagree or have a different opinion on just about anything……yes he has a bad temper. I’ve been told to keep a separate savings account but it’s hard because when I tried that he found out and was so made and threatened to split the bills with me and of course divorce. But he didn’t know that the separate account was for the future divorce he had planned. I’m 47 now I usually end up forgiving and forgetting when things are fine again but now I’m really starting to wonder what the hell I’m I going to do in 7 years when my youngest turns 18 and I’m older. I need to start doing something financially before that time comes! Does anyone have any recommendations?”

OK folks let’s help these people out! Catlady gave a really thoughtful response to the first question the other day. So I am going to post that as the first response.

(MJG – I’ve got your question scheduled for later today.)

57 comments Add your comment

TwinMomFromPS

July 23rd, 2010
3:23 pm

Echoing everything everyone else is saying about #1 – take his butt to court and let them garnish his wages.

For #2 – keep that separate account, and like others have said – call his bluff. If my husband ever tried to keep me in line by threatening divorce any time I did something he disagreed with, I’d tell him to go ahead and be prepared to part with half of his stuff. There’s no reason you should put up with that.

jan

July 23rd, 2010
3:29 pm

Me too. I lived with the same for 31 years and why did I my friends ask. I wish I had a definate answer other than I had let him condition me to the point that I thought it was what I deserved. The verbal abuse is so much more damaging in the long run than the physical. The pain goes away but what the verbal does to you totally makes you a different person. The day I left, I ask “is there anything that you have done in our marriage that you feel guilty for” he replied, “no’. I packed my bags and called my daughter and said pick me up at the Atl airport. Am now married to a man that knows how to treat his wife and I feel loved every minute of every day. No more “eggshells for me”. It just makes me sad to know how many of us are still in those situations and can’t get out. Don’t say, “they could if they really wanted to” because that isn’t true. To all of you who have suffered and survived and finally left—Congratulations. To all who haven’t—No matter what you think you really aren’t the only one in that situation. So many of us have been there.

catlady

July 23rd, 2010
3:44 pm

TWo: get very good advice before the divorce! I just wanted out, and I have paid for it over and over. First off, the $20 per child support. Even the judge looked over his glasses at that! I also should have requested some of their college expenses be paid. As it was, two of the children turned 18 at the beginning of their senior hs years–a great deal of expense. I also bore all the expense of their driving, medical insurance (he was to pay the part my insurance didn’t cover–I kept careful records and was able to get all of it back with the help of CSE.) I will be working, probably till I die, to “catch up” with what I lost from lack of zealous representation.

My SIL did not get a lawyer when he and his first wife divorced. She was supposed to transfer her part of the house to him as part of the divorce settlement. Did not, and he found out when she 5 years later filed for bankruptsy they took the house my daughter had been paying for for three years to satisfy her debts accumulated after they divorced! Get a lawyer who is savvy. You are not saving money without one!

Lori

July 23rd, 2010
4:49 pm

The answer to both questions……Call your lawyer. #2, if you don’t have one, get one.

momof2

July 26th, 2010
3:03 pm

hey guys…thanks for your advice, I have hired an attorney and we are preparing the papers now to get back child support, he was ordered to pay1/2 of “extras” camp etc we’re going to try to get that also. Just spent $1100 for rec league cheerleading…THANKS to my parents and a few friends help my girls have never missed a beat…

Will P. Richardson

July 28th, 2010
9:15 am

You are being abused. File for divorce immediately,and get out of the house with your child!

Overdramatic nonsense.

"Not" A Lawyer

July 28th, 2010
9:48 am

“I’d tell him to go ahead and be prepared to part with half of his stuff. ”

Georgia isn’t a community-property state. You won’t automatically get “half of his stuff.”