Earlier this summer Tori Spelling’s husband Dean McDermott was pretty seriously hurt in a dirt bike accident. He was in ICU for several weeks with a punctured and collapsed lung. He just recently got out of the hospital. (I realize I am writing about Tori Spelling but stay with me. I swear there is a good conversation in this.)
Spelling has complained on her show Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood about Dean choosing a dangerous hobby and that it is not appropriate for a dad. In fact, People.com described it as “On their show, Tori & Dean: Home Sweet Hollywood, the couple fought about Tori’s constant concern for Dean’s daredevil racing.”
“When asked if she’ll force her husband to quit riding, Tori said she’s not sure if she can. She told ‘Extra’s’ Lauren Sanchez, ‘You can tell him, because I don’t know if I can do that. I’m not his parent. I’m his wife.’ ”
“For right now, the two are just focusing on Dean’s health. A caring Spelling says, ‘He’s pretty banged up.’ They’ll discuss his plans when he gets better.”
I am very interested in Tori’s quote about being his wife and not his mother and not wanting to tell him what to do.
Michael doesn’t do anything dangerous but sometimes he does make choices (such as going to Georgia-Florida on Halloween night) that I wouldn’t make. I agree with Tori (can’t believe I am saying that) that a husband has to choose to do the right thing and a wife can’t and shouldn’t “make” them do the right thing.
So multiple angles form this story to discuss:
Does your husband/children’s father participate in any sport/hobby that you feel is too dangerous for a family man to participate in?
Do you feel like it is your place to forbid your husband/children’s father from doing something that could hurt him and in turn your family?
Do you ever put your foot down and just say “no, you can’t do it”? Give examples?
Is that appropriate for a wife to do?