Condoms for first graders?

A new policy at a Cape Cod school will allow school officials to counsel and distribute condoms to elementary students even as young as first grade.

From the Boston Herald.com:

“Starting in September, students shopping for a free condom must have a heart-to-heart with a counselor – including a talk on abstinence – in order to be given one.”

“The school will not honor parents’ requests that their children not receive the prophylactic, Singer said.”

“Starting early is the key, said school board Chairman Peter Grosso.”

“ ‘The thing is, sexual activity starts younger and younger,’ Grosso added. ‘We don’t know what age that is. So we just said, ‘We’ll make it available to all of them.’ We didn’t want to pick an age, and I really don’t believe we’re going to get first-graders asking for a condom, as a practical matter.”

My little guy just finished the first grade and he can barely aim his penis to pee without making a mess much less do anything else with it. I can’t imagine what would be going on in a first-graders household that they would even be aware that sex exists much less be something they would want to engage in.

I do think it’s appropriate to talk to the different grades in age-appropriate ways introducing their bodies and eventually the sex act. I think our school does a good job in the early grades talking about your private parts and then I assume in fourth and fifth getting a little more into it.

I can’t imagine our school nurse distributing condoms. That is just too shocking to even think about. She’s too busy taking care of kids throwing up and knocking teeth out on the playground.

So what do you think: Is this school heading sexual activity off at the pass and making sure they have info (and condoms!) before they could get into trouble or are they putting into kids’ minds things they weren’t even thinking about?

Would you want your school (or school nurse) counseling your elementary school child about sex? How do you feel about elementary schools passing out condoms? At what grade would that be appropriate, if ever?

161 comments Add your comment

Jeff

June 24th, 2010
7:04 am

It’s typical social construction and it doesn’t surprise me. Yes I think it’s wrong for them to do this but I know they won’t listen. So I’ll just continue to put my time and energy into doing the right thing for MY daughter and let the rest of ‘em figure out their own issues.

First time poster

June 24th, 2010
7:34 am

I’d have a problem if they were handing them out to elementary aged school children, but since that’s not the case, I see no problem with them being available. I don’t see a a kid under 10 even knowing what they are let alone asking for one.

You have got to be...

June 24th, 2010
7:35 am

…freakin’ kidding me!?!?!?!?!?

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by . said: [...]

motherjanegoose

June 24th, 2010
8:20 am

FIRST GRADE…NO, NO, NO…is that brief enough JJ?

@ First time…oh yes, there are those under 10 who know what they are…the world is becoming a scary place and I am sad for the children today who have somehow lost their childhood. Teachers now hear little children talking about things that we did not have an inkling about until middle/high school. Can we say media?

Wake up folks…MORALITY IS OUT THE WINDOW and as Jeff mentioned, WE have got to do right by our own kids as they are being bombarded with the wrong thing everywhere else.

JJ

June 24th, 2010
8:31 am

“The school will not honor parents’ requests that their children not receive the prophylactic, Singer said.”

ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS?????

bababa

June 24th, 2010
8:31 am

“…first grade and he can barely aim his penis to pee without making a mess…” guys never really out grow this, FYI.

Bubba

June 24th, 2010
8:34 am

The primary use for condoms at that age is for naughty — and expensive — water balloons.

motherjanegoose

June 24th, 2010
8:42 am

Sorry Wayne but here is what I am thinking….you know I like ya!

Can we all say that New Englanders are way more intelligent that those of us dumb southerners who join this blog…after all, it is Cape Cod?

bababa….ha ha…is this why the men’s bathrooms smell so bad?

mom2alex&max

June 24th, 2010
8:44 am

Oh dear GOD. While I actually have no issues with sex ed in schools, even I have to balk at introducing condoms to elementary aged children. My kids wouldn’t even know what they are or what they are for!

Sam

June 24th, 2010
8:51 am

The kids are having sex in middle school now – why not start the dialogue early?

Peachy

June 24th, 2010
8:53 am

I think this is BONKERS! Seems to me this program should have started at the middles schools, and not elementary but I guess that would be “age discrimination”

I do wonder though, is this an advertised program to the students. Like are there posters up in the school that say “FREE CONDOMS FROM THE NURSE” or is it more of an on demand, only talked about when asked sort of thing.

Finally, school systems are going broke right? How are they financing this little project? If this is a district where teachers didn’t get raises this year or some were laid off, but now they are handing out free condoms I think the priorities are a little off…

TT

June 24th, 2010
9:15 am

No, No and No. I would pull my kid out of this school so he/she can have a childhood. A condom for 6-7 year olds? Comon people, what’s next?

Sam – early diaglog (age appropriate) is one thing, but a condom is way too much….

Stockdog

June 24th, 2010
9:16 am

Sam, sex education is one thing, passing out condoms to first, second and third graders without parent consent is totally inappropriate. My friends an I talked about sex in the fifth grade but giving me a condom would have been totally ridiculous. I agree with Jeff, just another example of social engineering by government schools. I talked to my children when I thought it was appropriate and gave them condoms when I deemed it necessary. My kids always would come to me or their mother with these problems not the school counselor. I don’t think that we need the government passing out condoms.

FCM

June 24th, 2010
9:20 am

Jeff said it all. He is right and on target.

This is more of the “equality of the masses” that gives rise to bad goverment ideals–like Marxism. By the way Marx didn’t believe what he wrote, he was PAID by England to write that rubbish about what a perfect society and government would look like.

The scariest part of this to me is:

“The school will not honor parents’ requests that their children not receive the prophylactic, Singer said.”

How much more PROOF do we need that parents are being devalued? It worked so well with the feminist movement to devalue men…It worked so well to devalue the African-American male….I am sure it will have equally good results on this endevor too (btw, it is the SAHM they are attacking, the Working Mom get devalued as a parent awhile ago, it just adds more nails to the coffin there).

TT

June 24th, 2010
9:22 am

So here is a “cute” story…

I take my friends kids for the weekend (a 5 and a 2 year old). I ask a 5 year old what did she do Friday in school. She said they went on a school trip. I ask what town. She says she does not remember, but she had to take a train.

In the afternoon i drive with both kids to a neighbooring town. Driving through downtown, Victoria’s Secret is on the right hand side. A 5 year old screems: “This is where i went for a schholl trip!!” I ask her: how do you know? She says: see this underware store? That’s how i know where i went for a school trip!

Bob

June 24th, 2010
9:29 am

Its all part of the elites game, They promote sex, then use it again you. You really want to make a stand vs just crying about it. Pull your kids from school, and teach them the right/important things in life. Society/Family has been ripped apart, and the only way to fix it is, just don’t participate.

Kar

June 24th, 2010
9:31 am

Sadly, after meeting some of the cretins in Atlanta who have children, I can understand this. And don’t kid yourself, 6-7 year olds can be sexually active and need condoms.

NicNac

June 24th, 2010
9:33 am

What I see happening here is some of the older Elementary school students get their hands on them, word spreads that they are available, and the younger kids (being curious) start asking for them.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
9:34 am

ts great how people can’t just admit they are bad parents. If your kids are having sex at 6 or 7, then your a bad parent. Pretty simple

Joe B.

June 24th, 2010
9:37 am

If the parents desire age appropriate sex education (because they can’t talk to their kids themselves), so be it. But it is certainly not the schools’ job to pass out condoms, clean syringes for dopers, birth control pills. Next thing, they’ll want to provide a free/confidential abortion service, and how about a free breast enhancement service for 7th grade girls who feel inferior? Most schools will not give the kids free physicals, required for students who choose to go out for sports—-they make them go to their own doctor. Why would they think it their duty to give out free condoms?

motherjanegoose

June 24th, 2010
9:38 am

WOW…are 6-7 year olds able to have sex and get pregnant? I will absolutely admit that I did not know this! I see a lot of kids but did not realize they were hitting puberty this young. Is that true?
I did read about precocious puberty…how likely is this?

@ TT….oh yeah, kids do not miss anything. My take is that another 5 year old knew all about the underwear store and shared the news with the rest of the class. They really do pick things up from each other and when parents ARE NOT USING ANY COMMON SENSE during ( what should be private) conversations, things get passed along. Yes, the underwear store is fairly harmless but a clue as to what kids can and do hear.

TT

June 24th, 2010
9:39 am

Bob – i second your opinion. But what this school is doing is unacceptable. Kids are “monkey see, monkey do”. Give a knife to a 4 year old and show how to cut up food, and a 4 year old would want to do it. Give a condom to a 6 year old… you can fill in the rest. Then we are all wondering why kids have sex at a young age.

FCM

June 24th, 2010
9:45 am

MJG I don’t think pregnancy is the big worry for little people. Yes, some children have Oral $ex and at surprisingly young ages..probably other kinds of sex too (I have a cousin who was pregnant at 13!). I believe the condoms serve a bigger purpose than not having a baby…do you realize STDS are growing rapidly among women over 40 and teens? Why do you think that is?

Joe B.

June 24th, 2010
9:48 am

The Senate should pass a law to lower the age of puberty!

Bob

June 24th, 2010
9:53 am

TT: Your 100% Correct. Its all part of the game of implementing sex early. What I don’t get ,you want to give condoms out to 6 years olds, then get why do we have the law saying u can’t consent to sex if your under 17. You see the problem, we are promoting sex at such a young age, but if u get caught having sex under 17, then its against the law. It such a game, and many people fall for it. Its a lose lose situation and thats why its setup that way.

It's Idiotic

June 24th, 2010
9:56 am

When do they start passing out the pill for the girls ? when they are in 3rd grade ??
How stupid can school systems get?

Dave

June 24th, 2010
9:58 am

Promoting sex among minors? Why isn’t someone going to jail for this? Who ever decided that parents can’t opt-out needs to be banned from being anywhere near children; including their own kids.

Once again, “the bureacrat” has forgotten who they work for and who pays their salary. Maybe they need a good beat down, before they lose their job.

Shawn

June 24th, 2010
10:01 am

I know lots of sexually active 12 and 13 year old girls, and I think its good that the school is willing to talk to any students with questions, and provide condoms. I would hate it if my daughter discovered sex for the first time by some 16 year old boy at a party and had no condom or clue what was going on. Anything about first graders and condoms is just an attempt at making this story sound scarier.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
10:06 am

Shawn: Again bad parenting, you can try to make it sound good all you want but it isn’t. Its a way to promote sex, not a way to slow it down. But you better believe if that 6 year old that got a condom, by some silly chance tries to have sex, someones going to jail. ( Which they should be) But if u get my drift, they promote something, but if u do it then your breaking the law. Pretty simple.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
10:08 am

So its a rigged game, if your play it then you deserve what you get.

TT

June 24th, 2010
10:08 am

Shawn – i do not want to judge you, but you are a pretty bad parent if your 16 year old daughter has no clue about condoms… Can you tell me why school should be responsible to providing condoms? Does school provide any other medical or preventative care?

Kay

June 24th, 2010
10:13 am

While I think a child should be a child as long as possible. It’s pretty hard to hide the realities of today and kids are having sex at younger ages than we did (I’m 43 years old), but when I was in the seventh grade, there was a girl who was bring at the age of 12. We really need to start talking as should as possible.

JATL

June 24th, 2010
10:14 am

OK -6 and 7 year olds ARE NOT PHYSICALLY ABLE to have sex and become pregnant. Who’s smoking crack on Cape Cod? Where is our common sense? YES -condoms need to be freely handed out in middle school,and while it makes me sick and sad, I’ve seen NUMEROUS girls who have had babies at 12, 13 and 14. One of my former students got pregnant for the first time at 11. It’s disgusting, but a REAL problem. If we could head off even one of those pregnancies, it would be a fabulous thing! However, elementary school is ridiculous. I think we desperately need age-appropriate sex ed starting in elementary, but not condoms handed out. I’m usually NOT in favor of the government disregarding parent’s wishes for the most part, but I am when it comes to sex ed and available birth control in schools. There are too many parents who are idiots and think THEIR kids won’t do this and too many parents who just don’t care and never talk to their kids. When it comes to teenage pregnancy and STDS -we ALL pay for it, so my take is that if you don’t like it, you can send your kid to private school or homeschool them. Again -this is birth control available from middle school on and APPROPRIATE sex education -the basics, how babies are made and born, what happens to your body in puberty, etc. in elementary. Lunacy such as this on Cape Cod just sets the whole idea of progressive sexual education and available birth control and STD control back and does no one any favors.

JATL

June 24th, 2010
10:17 am

Find my comment please!

Kar

June 24th, 2010
10:27 am

Apparently a number of the posters live in a world were kids don’t experiment, older siblings and adults don’t assault them and mother’s don’t pimp them out. And no, it’s not suburbia, don’t kid yourself. It’s fantasy land.

I’d like to live in your world where there are no seven-yr old sexual predators and sex crimes don’t take place against minors. Don’t kid yourselves, even kids that young can be sexually active. Willing or not.

DanoRoo

June 24th, 2010
10:27 am

Why isn’t distribution of condoms to ANY minor considered a crime? Sex with a minor is a crime. Why isn’t aiding and abetting sex with a minor considered a crime?

DB

June 24th, 2010
10:34 am

I dunno — anything that takes a childhood away from a child is, in my book, child abuse. Ipso facto, giving a condom to a 6 year old is child abuse.

Shawn, my daughter knew how girls get pregnant at 7, and we freely discussed responsible sexual behavior and SELF RESPECT throughout middle school and high school. I think one or two of my daughter’s friends would be shocked at how much I knew about their personal lives, thanks to my daughter’s ability to discuss things with me. Sex, like drugs, alcohol, and safe driving, MUST be a topic of conversation that can be discussed freely between parent and child. As I have constantly hammered home to my kids: “You should not have sex unless you are physically, financially and emotionally ready to be tied to another human being for the rest of your life. Sex was designed to create babies, and assuming everything is working as it should — that’s what will happen.”

cjb122

June 24th, 2010
10:36 am

Wow…..The story line has changed. See Spot…..see how the taxpayers fund the disease and birth control of little Sally…..Dick and Jane.

DB

June 24th, 2010
10:37 am

@Kar: A condom isn’t going to stop a sexual predator. They aren’t going to wait while a 6 year old girl squeaks, “Oh, wait, here, I have a condom in my Hello Kitty purse!”

@Danoroo: WELL SAID!

Chris

June 24th, 2010
10:39 am

This is genius and I don’t know what you all are talking about.
Rephrase – I know why you all say these things, but you’ve got it all wrong.

Kids need condoms. Do 18 year olds need condoms? Yes. Do 17 year olds need condoms, even though they’re too young to legally engage in sex? Yes. Do 13 year olds need condoms? That’s an understandable point of contention. Do 5 year olds need condoms? Unequivocally no.

Follow me here, because this is the big leap -
Since kids will learn about sex sometime between the age of 0 and, say 13-ish, and since nobody knows exactly when that will be, it stands to reason that they should be educated on safe sex BEFORE they begin having it. The ONLY WAY to ensure that this happens is to teach ALL kids about sex, including letting them know that non-judgmental protection is only a question away, LONG before it’s necessary.

Research and decades of observation prove that NOTHING changes the rate at which kids have sex. Not parental involvement, not religious affiliation, especially not abstinence-only education (which has been proven to have ZERO EFFECT on sexual activity rates, but which has also been proven to INCREASE TEEN PREGNANCY by downplaying the usefulness of prophylactics, causing kids to NOT USE THEM).

At a certain point, it doesn’t do any good to say, “OMG the kids are having sex moral breakdown Britney Spears schools are promoting underage sex!”. It just doesn’t work that way. I don’t think 13 year olds, much less 5 year olds, should be having sex any more than you, but the truth is that the kids ARE GOING to have sex, whether anybody wants them to or not. If that is true, then the only responsible thing to do is to ensure that they are using protection.

Scenario 1: Adults keep kids from condoms (and accurate sex education in general) in an attempt to shield those kids from the realities of sex. *Problem: Kids are smarter and more aware than grown-ups realize. Their hormones begin to rage very early, and their bodies know what to do, so if they’ve never been properly taught about sex, they have no frame of reference for safety. *Outcome: Kids have sex. The ones whose parents have taught them about condoms before this point (because the schools cannot) will not get pregnant. The kids whose parents have not effectively taught them about the importance of safe sex will get pregnant or diseased. THIS IS AN INEVITABLE OUTCOME.

Scenario 2: Adults make all kids realistically aware of sex before they learn of it from their hormones, their peers or from television. None of these three sources have kids’ best interests in mind; parents and schools do. *Problem – I will grant that I don’t know of any research that proves that condom availability won’t increase sexual activity. Still, I would hedge my bets on the vast volume of research that proves that NOT doing this WON’T DECREASE sexual activity.

As an above commentator said, for the 5 year olds these will be funny, naughty water balloons. But if two 14 year olds are getting themselves into hot water, and find themselves unable to stop despite their moral and intellectual wishes to do so – a situation that realistically happens every day and every night in our world – then IT IS BETTER if those two kids get out one of the things that they used as a water balloon last week and don’t get pregnant.

I’m just sayin’. Moral outrage can be good and productive, but frequently-repeated research doesn’t lie, and if the facts show that your moral actions contribute to such an immense cause of suffering as unwanted teen pregnancy, then they cease to become moral actions.

Reality

June 24th, 2010
10:40 am

The headline is taking to the dramatic. Every Elementary school has girls who are entering puberty as well as a few boys – most likely not in the First grade, but the last years of Elemntary school. School nurses have tampons and pads for girls whose parents may not have ever explained what happens as they grow up. The school does not “distribute” tampons to first grade girls, but does not have a lower age limit on the ability to see the nurse. No one is suggesting encouraging sex for children, but be real here – there are a lot of sexual activity in the preteen years for some and better they have the ability for professional conseling and access to safe sex than ruining their childhood with pregnancy and illness. If parents expect their children’s choices to reflect their own values, then teach you children to make good choices.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
10:41 am

Kar: Some people including myself are not kidding ourselves, we know the system is corrupt and people are messed. Just because the people next door to you or maybe in your whole neighbor are bad parents and have dumb kids, doesn’t mean your kids have to follow in the same stupidity. I know it may be the cool thing to do, is to pop a few little blockhead, that you teach nothing too and they are following the other kids so its A ok. Just because its happening doesn’t make it ok. It a promote method, and if you can’t see that I’m sorry. Its like giving every kid in school a new car, but saying you can’t drive till at least 16. Ummm lets think about that, kids are going to try it, why because they are KIDS. Kids will be kids, but you at least put them on the right path, not just say oh I hope the school do the right thing. You stop kidding yourself.

Chris

June 24th, 2010
10:45 am

Edit for above-

Forgot to add in “Outcome of Scenario 2″:
Since ALL kids will have adequate sex education BEFORE they need it, and since ALL kids will be aware of the importance of protection BEFORE they need it, ALL kids who decide to have sex will be forewarned about its significance, its dangers, and the importance of protection. Therefore, the number of kids and teens who get pregnant BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY DO NOT KNOW BETTER (which, do not kid yourselves, is a very significant number) will REDUCE PRETTY MUCH TO ZERO.

It’s basic informed consent. People between 10 and 20 years old have more sex than all other age groups combined, and since those ages are the most prominent users of sex, they have the most right to know what they’re getting themselves into, and how to protect themselves.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
10:52 am

Chris: I sure hope theses schools get a lot of funding. We all know kids will only need 1 condom, once we teach them about sex. Good try, we will be having to give them out in boxes to each kid. If all goes as they plan.
Its a poorly thought out plan at the very least. We promote this, but when it happens you break the law. Hahaha, people are funny

Kar

June 24th, 2010
10:53 am

DB you missed the point. More kids that age are sexually active than people would believe and can be the predators themselves.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

June 24th, 2010
10:54 am

JATL –let me look for it –

Kar

June 24th, 2010
11:06 am

Trust me Bob, I’m not kidding myself. Knowing six year olds who try to seduce grown men in graphic terms and to what degree young kids ‘experiment’ has taken any blinder off.

Sex ed is not promotion it is education. There is a difference and there have been no widely accepted studies otherwise.

Bob

June 24th, 2010
11:10 am

Ok, well I’m out ..it been fun. I can joke about this because it wont ever affect me. I have a very active role in my kids lives, and if the schools around here ever played any stupid games like that, my kids would be out of there, just on principle. I’m not Mr know it all, but I know one thing, my kids will be respectful, honest, even if they are surrounded by a bunch of blockheads. Instead of blaming the corrupt system, do something about it and change it in your family life. Then the system will either change or will just go away naturally. Good Day everyone

gpb

June 24th, 2010
11:10 am

4th or 5th grade. I’ve read enough stories about 12-13 year olds getting pregnant that they might as well know to protect themselves.

Kids that age are just as likely to be sexually active as their parents.