Married but looking for an affair? AshleyMadison.com has your match!
While researching the nanny rearing cheaters story I ran across another crazy story I wanted to share.
This story on Time.com mentions a Web site that is similar to Match.com except that it is for MARRIED people to find matches for AFFAIRS!
The site is called AshleyMadison.com and it guarantees that you too can find someone with whom to have an affair. Their tag line is “Life is short, have an affair.”
The Toronto-based site, which was launched in 2001, has had its membership double over the past year to 4 million.
Time.com reports that:
“Critics call AshleyMadison a cruel sex site that profits from marital pain. “This is a business built on the back of broken hearts, ruined marriages and damaged families,” says Trish McDermott, a dating-industry consultant who helped found Match.com and Engage.com. “It’s in the business of rebranding infidelity,” she says, “making it not only monetizable, but adding a modicum of normalcy to it. AshleyMadison is making bad choices, broken promises and faithlessness look like something that’s trendy and hip and fun to talk about at a cocktail party.”
“We’re just a platform,” responds CEO Noel Biderman. “No website or 30-second ad is going to convince anyone to cheat,” he says. “People cheat because their lives aren’t working for them.”
The site charges members $49 to contact up to 20 members. Members don’t pay to receive messages, just to make contact, so often women use the site for free.
“Dorothy, a 45-year-old Floridian whose screen name begins with SexyMom, says she’s been married for 20 years but started using the site four months ago because her husband constantly turned down sex and refused marriage counseling. “It’s like the seven-year itch, but 20 years later,” she says. “My husband never throws me a compliment. Now I meet guys who say, ‘You’re so hot,’ or ‘You have great eyes.’”
As of when Time wrote the story, Dorothy had met seven men though the site. She said her husband doesn’t know how to use the computer.
Other sites like this exist but the article says AshleyMadison is the most successful.
So I am just completely floored by this story and this Web site. I can’t believe something like this even exists (and now I’ve given it lots of publicity)!
So what do you think about this Web site? Would you ever use a service like this? Have you used a service like this? Do you think affairs are generally this arranged or people just fall into them by having chemistry with someone at work or with a friend?
Tell us what you think about the site
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Tweets that mention Married but looking for an affair? AshleyMadison.com has your match! | Momania: A Blog for Busy Moms -- Topsy.com
March 31st, 2010
6:35 am
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Ashley Madison News. Ashley Madison News said: Married but looking for an affair? AshleyMadison.com has your match! http://bit.ly/bMp26H [...]
Jeff
March 31st, 2010
7:09 am
A.M. has been around for several years. I’ve never used it and am not interested, but I can understand the appeal. It seems it would be the ultimate safety affair in the sense that the spouse is not as likely to find out as they would be if it were someone from work, the gym, etc. Additionally, with there being less shame for the one sleeping with the married person (see Tiger’s mistresses), why WOULDN’T you put yourself out there if that is the type of thing you are OK with doing.
In short (too late), this doesn’t surprise me at all.
Thanks for the tip...
March 31st, 2010
7:09 am
…I will become an active member just as soon as I finish typing this…
Uh, Jeff...
March 31st, 2010
7:12 am
“It seems it would be the ultimate safety affair in the sense that the spouse is not as likely to find out as they would be if it were someone from work, the gym, etc.”
Yeah, but what if your spouse is also a member?!?!?!?!? Kind of like the old “Pina Colada” song…
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
7:53 am
“If you like Pina Coladas
Getting caught in the rain…”
Yeah, thanks, now I’ll have that song in my head for the rest of the day…
Jeff
March 31st, 2010
7:57 am
And I know a few couples that pursue that kind of thing together. And THAT is becoming more of a common thing as well.
Andrea
March 31st, 2010
8:01 am
This site has been around for a long time. While the site may seem disgusting and morally bankrupt, etc. the bottom line is no one is forcing any person to become a member. People do it because they want to plain and simple. Cheating, like most things, is a choice. Some people take the easy way out (cheat) and some really work at keeping their relationships together and monogamous. If after exhausting everything to save the relationship, they decide to end it, they finish that relationship before they start a new one.
I wouldn’t use the site but it certainly stays the course with the current state of morals in this country. It’s just another excuse to go along with:
1. It’s not my fault – I had a nanny as a child
2. It’s not my fault – cybersex doesn’t count.
3. It’s not my fault – I need sex rehab.
4. It’s not my fault – I have platformitis (loves women in platform plastic shoes)
Sad
March 31st, 2010
8:02 am
Its sad that you get yourself married and then have to stoop to this kind of site. My first marriage was a disaster and we BOTH cheated on each other. But the woman I married 19 years ago, still rocks my world everytime she walks into the room. She began to shun sex some 4-5 years ago, which has no made me care less for it too… but my love of and for her is still just as strong. My respect for her would never allow me to go to AM…..I just pray SHE’s not going there…but if she is….I guess someones gotta nail that!
Sad
March 31st, 2010
8:04 am
Enter your comments here
Hot4MJG
March 31st, 2010
8:12 am
Who needs Ashley Madison when MomMania is available for hook-ups? I’m hot for the smug, perfect Mother Jane Goose!
Let me get this straight...
March 31st, 2010
8:22 am
…for $49 I can get a legitimate list of 20 women who have said they are looking for sex? That is MUCH cheaper than going after a “no strings” hooker, and both the hooker and the women on the $49 list are providing the same results – wow, I love this country…..
Michelle
March 31st, 2010
8:29 am
Unbelievable…
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
March 31st, 2010
8:30 am
One of my friends thinks maybe it is hookers on the web site. he’s not convinced it’s regular people.
Where have I been that all of you guys know about this web site — more importantly why do all you know about this web site?????
Oh crap...
March 31st, 2010
8:32 am
…you just burst my bubble…
Becky
March 31st, 2010
8:41 am
I think if you are married, then you shouldn’t be using a website like this..I have no interest in going on this site..
Theresa..We (most) know about this because it’s been in the paper before as also on either Dateline or 20/20 (I think)..Sweetie, you live in bubble(at times)..You should of already have known about this..
@Wayne..You’re right about that song being stuck in my haed today and I HATE that song..
Jeff
March 31st, 2010
8:43 am
A few of my single guy friends have used the site before. Both parties know what they are getting with the deal.
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
8:50 am
“She began to shun sex some 4-5 years ago, which has no made me care less for it too… but my love of and for her is still just as strong. My respect for her would never allow me to go to AM..”
Your “respecting” her and she’s treating you like crap? You need to man-up and fix this, dude!
Women who withhold sex don’t deserve much respect.
If a woman does that to you, remind her that there are plenty of women out there who won’t. ;-)
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
8:52 am
Again, this website is OLD NEWS. ZZZZZzzzz… BOOOORRRIiiinngg!
They’ve been running radio ads for a long, long time.
Also, ashleymadison.com, and craigslist.org.
Adult Friend Finder just about PLASTERS links/ads and stupid re-direct pages all over the internet too. Of course, they have lots of bogus ads on the website, much like Craigslist.
JATL
March 31st, 2010
8:57 am
All I can say for the creators of the site -Karma’s a real b**ch sometime!
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
8:58 am
@Theresa, I guess you and I both live in a bubble as I’ve never heard of this site either. I am not at all suprised that it and others like it exist though.
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
9:00 am
@JATL, interesting comment re the creators of the site. I was thinking more along the lines of, “well, sex sells, I guess they found a niche.” It doesn’t mean I agree with what they are selling but obviously there are a lot of people buying.
TechMom
March 31st, 2010
9:14 am
I kind of wondered if most of the women on this site are prostitutes… much like craigslist. Even though we know that women and men cheat at about the same percentage, I still think women tend to look for a relationship and men tend to look for sex. So while there probably are a few married women on this site looking for an affair, I’d bet most of the women are prostitutes looking for their next trick.
Nope never been on the site nor would I ever use the site but I’ve definitely heard about it several times.
FCM
March 31st, 2010
9:19 am
Too Funny! We were just discussing something known as the Pina Coloda song (actually titled “Escape”). For those unfamilar: “The song speaks, in three verses and three choruses, of a man who, disenchanted with his current relationship, reads the personals and spots an ad that catches his attention: the ad of a woman who is seeking a man who, among other things, must like piña coladas. Intrigued, he writes back and arranges to meet with the woman “at a bar called O’Malley’s”, only to find upon the meeting that his new lover is his current lover.” (from Wikipedia).
Obviously, since the song was penned in 1979 this not a new phenom.
Doesn’t make it right either. Cheating on your committed relationship (married or not) is just a BIG NO in my book.
FCM
March 31st, 2010
9:25 am
Becky would you rather have the Banana Boat Song in your head? Somebody here got Wham!’s Wake Me Up stuck in my head earlier…..AGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Becky
March 31st, 2010
9:37 am
@FCM..Not sure about that one either..There will be plenty more songs today though..I have a coworker that every time someone says something to her, she has a song to sing for whatever they say..
JustMe
March 31st, 2010
9:41 am
Re: Polytron/E2M Sucks 8:50 am Post:
“Women who withhold sex don’t deserve much respect”
What about men who withhold sex?
Panda8
March 31st, 2010
9:45 am
The website is advertised *constantly* on several radio stations during the morning commute hours.
I’m sure those looking would mostly look anyways… but it still seems like this is just helping someone really hurt another person (the other spouse) in quite a cruel way. It’s obviously not geared toward the open relationships but towards the sneak behind their back sort. For the one participating, ya, their choice and their problem… but another person is hurt that didn’t choose that, and one would hope there’d be some moral qualms in aiding that…. but obviously there aren’t, anymore.
It's funny how songs...
March 31st, 2010
9:54 am
…get changed from their “real” title to whatever it is that catches your fancy – the most prevalent one, to me, (and yes, I am old) is the old Frankie Vallee song from 1976, thought to be “Oh what a Night”, when in actuality the correct title is “December 1963″, but very few people even know that….
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
10:07 am
“it was late December back in ‘63″
Great. Now that one is stuck in my head. Will you guys just stop!?
I could be worse, Wayne...
March 31st, 2010
10:12 am
…we could be putting out Jimmy Buffett songs, since it would be topic appropriate, like “Why don’t we get drunk and s—-”?
Stern Fan
March 31st, 2010
10:13 am
This site has advertised for several years on Howard Stern. They recently sponsored the Tiger Woods’ Mistress Beauty Pageant and put up the $100,000 prize.
I have never used the site. I actually think it would increase your chances of getting caught. I mean, it seems like the worst thing you could do when having an affair is create an actual written account of your goings on. I would never type an email, text, online profile, nothing. I would also not make any phone calls from my phone to the other person. Better if they don’t even know your real name I would think.
1911A1
March 31st, 2010
10:15 am
Everyone was wondering whatever became of MILF Hunter. Now we know…
Or it could be..
March 31st, 2010
10:21 am
That the song was titled December 1963 (Oh What a Night) by Frankie Valli, that causes it to be thought of as Oh What a Night.
FCM
March 31st, 2010
10:27 am
Thanks now Buffet is in my head and it isn’t even the weekend!
“I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know where I’m gonna go…..”
Becky
March 31st, 2010
10:29 am
Enter your comments here
Becky
March 31st, 2010
10:34 am
Sorry abou that..Does anyone know this one?
Her name was Lola, she was a show girl, with yellow ribbons in her hair and a dress cut down to there..
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
10:37 am
I can’t post again. GREAT
Becky
March 31st, 2010
10:45 am
Or could people be “looking for love in all the wrong places?”
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
10:53 am
Copa Cabana by Barry Manilow, isn’t it?
I say again. Thanks.
I am whatever you say I am
March 31st, 2010
10:54 am
do you like Pina Coladas??? Gettting caught in the rain……
I am whatever you say I am
March 31st, 2010
10:54 am
At the Copa… Copa Cabana……
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
10:56 am
“What about men who withhold sex?”
Yes, assuming they’re married to a decent, loving woman but knowingly withholds sex, that’s a man that needs to be bítch-slapped and brought back to reality.
I’m a guy but I’m ALL FOR fairness!
I guess my point was that it often seems it’s ok for a woman to mistreat a husband with regards to sex, and basically push him away, yet if he has had enough suffering and cheats, etc., suddenly he’s “a cheating b@stard” or “a low down dog” yet the bad wife escapes any responsibility.
Dr. Laura has made that point quite a few times on her show. A lot of wives apparently did not take well to being called out on that.
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
10:59 am
Test (let’s see if Wordpress lets my post go through):
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:) :/ :( :D :P ;) :] :|
I am whatever you say I am
March 31st, 2010
10:59 am
I have no idea why women want to withhold sex and expect their man not to cheat on them or be okay with that.
I’m a scorpio woman and I need it like fish need water.
I would never withold that from any man I’m with no matter how bad he pissed me off
Optimus Prime Rib
March 31st, 2010
11:00 am
Bold
italics
Van Jones
March 31st, 2010
11:03 am
There was obviously a need for a site like this and AM filled the void (or just did it better than the others). Free enterprise and an “activity” between two consenting adults.
AM is not for me but it’s certainly not my place to impose my morality onto those that partake
Polytron/E2M Sucks
March 31st, 2010
11:06 am
“I would never withold that from any man I’m with no matter how bad he pissed me off”
That’s a great attitude (sincerely).
You’re the kind of woman a guy needs! I think… :)
Honestly unless a guy is just kind of a jerk, I think most guys would not “need” or want to visit a cheater’s web site or Adult Friend Finder.
Not saying at all that it is justified if they do, just saying a satisfied man usually stays an honest man. ;-)
I am whatever you say I am
March 31st, 2010
11:07 am
Men are real simple: Keep the belly full and keep the the D____ empty!
:-D
HTML test
March 31st, 2010
11:11 am
item oneitem two
text colored
David S
March 31st, 2010
11:12 am
I thought this was a blog for “Busy Moms?” If you are actually busy being a mom, you don’t need this web site.
If you are having problems with your marriage, fix the problem or end the marriage. An affair only complicates things, and you already have enough problems and really should be thinking about your children rather than an affair.
The mom who wants everything except being a real mom seems to be a big problem in our society.
Becky
March 31st, 2010
11:13 am
Yep, that’s the song..
@Van..I’d say that about sums things up..Right or worng, not up to me to judge others that try this website or any “hookups” that come from it..
I am whatever you say I am
March 31st, 2010
11:14 am
Thank you for the compliments Polytron/E2M Sucks
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
11:24 am
I wish I would have thought of this site…I have a feeling they’re printing money.
I don’t see the shocking part of AM. It’s just a formal website of what has been going on for years. No I’ve never used it…no, I have no intention of using it, but then again I’m very happily married.
AM isn’t much different than the VOLUMES of chat rooms that AOL started with, if any of you recall. There is a website for every interest. You could google “amputees who like to have conjugal relationships with goats” and you’d have to get more specific on the type of goat to get the list less than 50 hits.
It seems to me what is shocking TWG the most is not that this type of organized hook up is happening, but that *GASP* people actually found a way to make money off of it. Go figure a bunch of Canucks beat us to the punch! We, as Americans, should be ashamed that an American didn’t come up with this first!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
11:38 am
Is this really more shocking than the RNC spending their supporter’s money at a strip/sex/bondage club?
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
12:26 pm
I think it’s hilarious that the co-founder of match.com and engage.com is so offended by AM. The NERVE of someone to cash in on some of her pimp market. Truly offensive and shocking.
Optimus Prime Rib
March 31st, 2010
1:12 pm
Actually it’s neither 1) offensive or 2) shocking.
Match.com isn’t a “pimp market”, by the way.
I suppose next you’ll be flaming foreign bride introduction agencies, right?
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
1:23 pm
I don’t know about flaming them…just bunching match.com, engage.com, AM, and mail order bride services in the same industry.
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
1:48 pm
I know someone who “got” their bride from Russia. Weird stuff.
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
1:51 pm
One of the guys I work with got his bride from Ukraine. They’re still married. Very wierd.
I want to know how Tiger knows that you had to specifically nail the goat. Wait, that came out wrong…
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
1:52 pm
That should be “weird”.
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
1:52 pm
I don’t think it did Wayne! LOL
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
1:54 pm
Are there “mail order husbands” ??? I’ve never heard of them. Just brides.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
2:16 pm
@Wayne….actually I’m a sheep guy!
Becky
March 31st, 2010
2:24 pm
@Optimus..Guess you missed Tigers sense of humor on that one..
@MomsRule..Nope, never heard of “mail order husbands”, maybe that is something us women on here can start a website for?? Think we could make some $$?
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
2:30 pm
@Becky….I already registered “www.findyourcabanaboy.com”!
Becky
March 31st, 2010
2:34 pm
@Tiger..Somehow, I knew that we could count on you to try something new and exciting..
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
2:40 pm
@momsrule and Becky…of course there aren’t any mail order husbands! Look at it logically…as evidenced on this blog almost daily you women are smart and discriminating. Much more than us men. So it only stands to reason that there is a significant population of men that women will just not sleep with…..so, they have to outsource to other countries.
On the flip side, us guys are just ruled by our junk, so pretty much if you’re a woman, I guarantee you there is a guy who is a citizen of this country who would be happy to sleep with you!
So there’s just no market for mail order husbands, the domestic supply is just too great!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
2:45 pm
@Becky and Momsrule…and do you women really want a mail order hubby? Come on…..just do the cabana boy, the last thing you guys need is another guy who won’t put the toilet seat down and who leaves his dirty underwear right beside the hamper instead of in it! ;-) Seriously, the cabana boy is much more efficient and much less messy…I mean, unless you like messy and are willing to pay for it!
MomsRule
March 31st, 2010
2:45 pm
@Becky, I think Tiger eloquently stated why there are no mail order husbands. Shoot…I was hoping we’d stumbled upon something.
JustMe
March 31st, 2010
2:53 pm
“Yes, assuming they’re married to a decent, loving woman but knowingly withholds sex, that’s a man that needs to be bítch-slapped and brought back to reality”
Polytron–His excuse: it’s because sexual interest decreases with age.
True? I don’t know.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
2:55 pm
@Momsrule and Becky…oh and I forgot to include that no matter what the woman looks like, the kinkier and naughtier she is in bed will have a direct relationship to how good looking the men she attracts will be! There you go….I’ve just spilled the most basic guy secret!
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
3:05 pm
Tiger!!!!!
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
3:11 pm
@Wayne…I know….I’m breaking man code giving up all our secrets like this!
Becky
March 31st, 2010
3:23 pm
@Tiger..Heck no, I don’t want a mail order hubby or playtoy or whatever you want to call it..If something happens to the husband that I have now, I think, I’ll stay single for a while..Not that I’m not happy, it’s just that I have been in a relationship since I was 18, time for a break..
@wayne..He didn’t tell me anything that I didn’t already know about men..In a former life, I was a bartender, so I’ve seen quiet a bit of strange things..
@MomsRule..Yeah, he did make a good point..Was a nice thought while it lasted though..People have gotten richer off of stupider stuff..Is that proper southern english?
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
3:29 pm
@Becky..I’m with you…If anything were to happen to my wife and me, my married days are done.
You were a bartender?!? that’s how I got through college…no wonder we get along!
"Stupider"...
March 31st, 2010
3:31 pm
..yes, and it is proper southern English, too…but Wayne will probably come back and say that if that’s the way YOU GUYS want to say it then it is all right with him, but y’all don’t fergit this blog goes way out yonder…
Tiger...
March 31st, 2010
3:33 pm
…she’s old enough to be yo’ mama – keep this up and Mrs. Tiger just may make your dream of singleness happen…
Wayne
March 31st, 2010
3:40 pm
Huh? What’d I say? What’d I do?
Becky
March 31st, 2010
3:42 pm
@Tiger..My sister was married for 39 years (he passed away)..When he dies, we thought that she would go bonkers, but she is very happy..Yes, she still misses him, but she said at 65, she doesn’t need a new husband..
Heck yeah, I was a bartender, drank a lot of mistakes, had a lot of fun, and did a lot of things that I am lucky to be here to talk about..Those were the good old days..
Becky
March 31st, 2010
3:43 pm
No, I don’t think that I’m quiet old enough to be Tiger’s Mom..I’m old, just not that old..
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
3:44 pm
keep what up?
Becky
March 31st, 2010
4:48 pm
Tiger, it looks like that don’t want to say anything, so heres my take on it..You made a nice (nonsexist) comment and someone couldn’t stand it..They think that anything said between a man and a woman has to be about sex..
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
4:52 pm
@Becky….you mean some people’s minds are in the gutter even more than me? shocking.
Becky
March 31st, 2010
4:57 pm
Yeah, really shocking..Y’all have a great evening, I’m out of here..
Clear As A Bell Pepper
March 31st, 2010
5:12 pm
“.as evidenced on this blog almost daily you women are smart and discriminating. Much more than us men. So it only stands to reason that there is a significant population of men that women will just not sleep with…..so, they have to outsource to other countries.”
This is shear and utter nonsense. Congratulations on your FAIL!
Let me clear things up:
1. There is no such thing as “mail order brides”, only INTRODUCTION AGENCIES. You have to meet women in real life overseas just like here, only they help to set it up as you are in a different environment. Also they translate and (the real ones) exist to facilitate real relationships, not sexual ones.
2. Men in the USA, Europe, Canada, etc. sometimes grow tired of what has happened to women in their home countries (materialism, loss of caring romantic personality, etc.) and desire a proud, traditional woman from overseas.
3. Some introduction agencies are fake, and lots of scammers exist in Russia (either fake ads or women who scam guys) and some other places.
4. An American, Canadian (especially), etc. guy who just wants sex with a woman can just travel to Mexico, Dominican Republic, Colombia, etc. for a hot chica VERY EASILY. Those aren’t the ones using introduction agencies & persuing meeting a nice woman.
I speak from experience. How many countries have you been to? DIDN’T THINK SO! Always an aggressive response from the feminist women. I’ve been to at least 5 latin countries, and for the most part I’ve been treated better by women I was in a relationship with than I ever was in the USA.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t some lovely, respectable women here. There are-just that traditional warm, loving, and non-materialistic women are getting harder to find now here.
Si, yo tengo experencia con las mujeres latinas in Peru, Colombia, y Santiago DR. Mi me encanto las mujeres amigables, carinosa, y trabajaderas. No me gusto las gorditas americanas.
If you can understand that, you’re qualified to respond. Otherwise, have a nice day.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
5:21 pm
@Clear as a bell…..I understand that you have experiences with latina women in all those countries and you don’t like fat american women. Regarding my comment that you referenced and freaked out about……..how do you say “tongue in cheek” in Spanish? It was joke dude.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
5:23 pm
I have a feeling “lengua en la mejilla” doesn’t mean the same in Spanish as it does English.
Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp
March 31st, 2010
5:26 pm
@Clear….”Always an aggressive response from the feminist women”…here’s the really hilarious part…I’m a GUY! I made the comment…self deprecation…sarcarsm….irony….did the customs department of one of those countries you’ve visited confiscate your sense of humor?
DB
March 31st, 2010
6:36 pm
*Shrug* Yeah, well, cheating isn’t new. But there’s always going to be a new way to cheat, given the inclination.
The trick, of course, is to not be in a position where the inclination is there. :-)
Clear As A Bell Pepper
March 31st, 2010
11:27 pm
Well I didn’t freak out, but that’s ok. If you were not your attempt to be harsh or “feminist critical” then I do apologize. However it wasn’t clear to me. 99% of the time it’s jealous/feminist women who flame a guy on this subject. I guess I was mistaken (sorry).
Allow me to explain some background info:
Frequently (and I have seen it with my own eyes) there have been a number of instances in which LEGITIMATE agencies have received harsh, bitchy correspondence from the USA/etc. from “armchair critics” handing out uneducated opinions from the comfort of their nice American home, calling foreign lady introduction agencies “slave trade promoters”, and claimed they were “only facilitating the slavery and oppression of women who want a way out of there home country”, etc.
Basically calling men who would wish to seek a candidate spouse from another country “monsters”, “oppressive”, and “potentially abusive husbands.” Terrible!
In all instances the women (again, from the comfort of a keyboard, not face-to-face) had never been to that country or spoken to the women from the countries in question and see the crap they have to deal with on a dail basis.
It is really true: there are a lot of countries in the world where guys really are VERY misogynistic, cheating, abusive, and lying douchebags (i.e., “machisto”). In Colombia this year, for example, the girls there told me guys would easily have 3-4 girls strung along.
In the DR, the guys would constantly harass a girl walking down the street if she was fairly good looking and would do anything to get with her, then move on to the next girl. I knew a girl in Santiago who’s father had at least 6-8 children, by several different women…in the life of none of them…
That is one reason the world is a different place in other countries: women there have REAL problems to deal with, and just want to have a NICE guy to love; it turns out that we American/Canadian/European guys are seen for what we are: generally successful, smart, loving guys who are not perfect but overall pretty good!
My point is that one needs to not be afraid of opening other doors. I did and my world got rocked – in a good way. We guys sometimes allow ourselves to remain in a situation that’s not right.
I used to think when I was young that was just how it is-some girls are just into games and I just have to deal with – not so!
Before you cheat, just take another look at the situation and decide if where you are is even sane to begin with. You have other options…life is short!
Dee
April 1st, 2010
2:23 am
@Clear as a Bell – not trying to freak you out or get jumped on, but I am betting that if any American man brought a foreign bride to this country and told her that she had to take a 40+ hour per week job outside of the home, plus carry at least 75% of the housekeeping and childrearing load…well, she too would not always have a “caring romantic personality.” Face it, North American women are just plain tired….beat…beat down… I know many women in the workforce who say “why should I have nearly sole responsbility for the home when both he and I work?” Can’t say I blame them — do you seriously think that the way things are for most women in this country is fair? If you had to work all day, commute, come home and cook dinner, help kids with homework, manage a load or two of laundry, vacuum the house, prepare a PowerPoint for tomorrow’s meeting and bake 3 dozen cupcakes for your child’s class party the next day….would you have a “caring romantic personality” and be simply bouncing into the bedroom to pleasure your spouse when you finally get to think of bed at around 2am with the alarm clock set to go off in about 4 or 5 hours? I don’t know any women who wouldn’t stay home and tend to children and hearth with a smile on their face and sex on their brain if given the opportunity — I also don’t know any women whose husbands would allow them to give up the paycheck.
FCM
April 1st, 2010
3:59 am
” In Colombia this year, for example, the girls there told me guys would easily have 3-4 girls strung along.
In the DR, the guys would constantly harass a girl walking down the street if she was fairly good looking and would do anything to get with her, then move on to the next girl. I knew a girl in Santiago who’s father had at least 6-8 children, by several different women…in the life of none of them…”
What makes you think women here don’t have those same issues?
As to women dealing with REAL problems….what exactly does it take to be a REAL problem? What about the widow raising a family? The army wife with a HS diploma, a few kids, a husband overseas–for his 4th+ deployment since the latest Iraq war started? How about the woman in the abusive relationship (no kids) who is unsure how to get out because he really would kill her? How about the woman Dee described who has the added burden of aging parents in failing health? How about the woman who has 3 kids and watches her beloved die of cancer? Any of those real problems?
Trust us there just as there are American woman who don’t make the grade, there are American men who don’t either. Not all American Men are “generally successful, smart, loving guys who are not perfect but overall pretty good!” In fact I would say the average American woman wants just those things, and like Dee I know many “who wouldn’t stay home and tend to children and hearth with a smile on their face and sex on their brain if given the opportunity — I also don’t know any women whose husbands would [or cannot] allow them to give up the paycheck.”
Fat transcends gender/ethnic boundaries too.
FCM
April 1st, 2010
4:04 am
oops didn’t copy all of that last comment from Dee…. t should have read: I don’t know many woman “who wouldn’t……etc”
That is what you get for being up at 4am to get a head start on the day :)
MomsRule
April 1st, 2010
6:12 am
@Clear As A Bell Pepper you seem pretty defensive on this subject. Whatever snaps yours socks dude.
You’ve been to at least 5 countries? Me too. But I’m not sure why that is relevent.
It doesn’t change the fact that, yes, some men have basically purchased their wives from these so called introduction agencies. Yes, despite what you might want to believe, many of these men do this because they can’t dominate a woman from the US as easily as they can one from a foreign country. Notice I did not say all men. And a lot of times, these women are agreeing because the situation they are currently in is deploarable and they are looking for an escape.
The guy I know that got his wife from Russia, I know exactly what he was purchasing because I stumbled across some of the emails between he and his “spouse.” He visited Russia twice. Once to meet her and once to bring her to the US. She was provided a separate bedroom and bathroom in his house, she was required to stayed home and was not allowed to socialize with anyone except on a most limited basis “because we can’t have her being corrupted.” She kept his house and would inquire daily as to whether or not she was to visit his room that evening.
So, while there may be some that really are seeking a companion and a healthy relationship. There are others who are looking for a sex slave.
Oh and just so you know, it is not just women who are critical/skeptical of this practice. My husband (and the other men we jointly know) made fun of this guy, “What’s the matter, not strong enough to handle a woman from the US?” “So, you’ve depleted all of your options in this country?”
Becky
April 1st, 2010
8:22 am
Wow Tiger, you do have a special effect on women don’t you? Not sure why Clear as a Bell Pepper went off on a rampage, but is there another side of you that we don’t know about? Either way, we still love you on here..
As for the last 3 or 4 post..Amen..
FCM
April 2nd, 2010
2:12 am
Well I see that Bell Pepper went away…
Brittany
April 5th, 2010
3:21 pm
This is so silly…there isn’t a huge difference in EHarmony, Ashley Madison, Engage, or Match’s websites. Except maybe the price. EHarmony claims to match you on 29 different dimensions of blah blah blah but I did an experiment where I filled in two profiles completely different and still got the same matches. And news flash, if guys don’t think you’re good looking…they won’t even message you back whether you’re a perfect match emotionally or not. On an EHarmony blog they’ve said as much. And if its so precise and exact why is a yearlong membership an option? Sounds like Ashley Madison is hooking people up the same way…they just don’t pretend its for love.
don
April 16th, 2010
12:24 am
good
xxxhpman
June 4th, 2010
3:39 pm
I just like to have fun. Pleasing others gets me going.
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June 22nd, 2010
10:07 pm
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roscoe
July 21st, 2010
10:55 pm
Dee – what about the man that works 40 hours a week or more and does the majority of domestic chores around the house (cooking, cleaning, yard work, laundry etc…) and he is considering a site such as AM, FF or some other hook up site because he is not getting action at home.
p.s. I would glady pass up on the paycheck for a sex life at home.