Would you move back in with Tiger? Would you leave ‘Mr. Bullock’?

So it appears that Sandra Bullock has left, but Elin is back. It makes me wonder, when do you stay and when do you go?

People.com reported earlier this week that:

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are not living under the same roof right now. “

“The actress left the Southern California house she shares with James just days before a report of infidelity by her husband surfaced, a source tells PEOPLE.”

“Bullock, 45, left on Monday, the source says. Bullock, who won her first Oscar – a Best Actress award – for The Blind Side on March 7, also abruptly canceled a trip to Europe for the London premiere of the film.”

Meanwhile in Florida Elin and the kids have moved back in with Tiger.

From earlier this month on People.com:

“Although Elin Nordegren knows her husband has ongoing problems, she has agreed to return with him to their Isleworth home in Florida to help restart his life, a source tells PEOPLE. “

“ ‘I call them the divorced married couple,’ says the source. ‘Elin knows Tiger has issues and is afraid to go near him romantically. Because of the children and his need to return to golf, she will try to live in the house with a wall between them.’ “

What do you think? Would you move back in with Tiger? Would you move out on Jesse? Who has to leave the house? Is one time too many? When is it over and when can you work it out?

104 comments Add your comment

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

March 19th, 2010
1:54 pm

@Becky…..girl crush. Love it.

Dar

March 19th, 2010
1:56 pm

I used to think that I fell into the category of people who possibly could forgive a one-time sex thing, but not an affair. Oddly, my X knew this because I had said it a time or two when the topic would come up because of something in the news or on TV, but he chose the latter and wound up with nothing. When faced with it, when I saw the texts she had sent him that clearly indicated that there was a relationship, I was crushed. However, in the moment, thinking about what it would do to our son, I told him that we could work through it and be okay. Perhaps luckily for me he was still so caught up in what he was doing that he chose to leave. Now, looking back, he did me the biggest favor by doing so because had he stayed I would have been trapped in a terrible place having to live with him each day under the cloud of the betrayal. It has taken me years to crawl out from under the rock of self-blame that fell on me when he had the affair. It has taken me a long time to realize that while I am certainly not perfect he was the one who chose to act selfishly and out of control and destroy our family. If he had issues with our marriage, he should have come to me and then, if we could not work them out, he could have left. Instead, he chose to have an affair and try to sneak out of the marriage placing all of the blame on me. I said all of that to say this — no, I would not take a cheater back into my life, not after all I have learned about the mental composition of a person who cheats. Cheaters really are “bad” people, especially the ones who try to shift the blame for their cheating. Cheaters do not think about consequences or consider the feelings of others. Cheaters are extremely selfish. Cheaters are dishonest. Why in the world would I want someone like that in my life? Or in the daily life of my child, influencing who he is?

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
1:56 pm

Kate Walsh would be mine

Becky

March 19th, 2010
1:57 pm

Why, thank you, thank you very much sir..

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
1:59 pm

Firkin Friday yea what ever….

SRH

March 19th, 2010
2:03 pm

@Firkin – I think we are just expressing what we think she is like. That’s how she appears to most of us, and her charity work, with pets and people, is well documented. She does run a restaurant that is very green, with recycled products and free-range meats, so those acts do provide clues as to someone’s personality. She may have been an awful spouse – who knows – but her outward appearance, and actions, seemed genuine.

Yeah, SRH...

March 19th, 2010
2:15 pm

and Tiger started the First Tee program, and gives lots of money and time to various other charitable entities, and he never made a big deal of it, either – so Firkin Friday makes a very valid point…

Dar

March 19th, 2010
2:22 pm

But, as I understand it, there have always been whispers in the PGA “family” about him being a dog and a prima donna (not that his talent shouldn’t afford him some perks, mind you). With as long as Sandra has been in the movie business, I have never read or heard anything but good things about her as a person. Nothing negative, which is strange given that there is normally at least one person who you have rubbed the wrong way as you climb the ladder. I think that even Jesse’s “sort of apology” bears that out — she is just an unbelievably nice, sweet, caring, giving, etc. person.

Becky

March 19th, 2010
2:29 pm

I was told over 10 years ago that Tiger was sewing his wild oats anywhere that he could..

@Firkin Friday

March 19th, 2010
2:29 pm

judgmental much?

Yuck

March 19th, 2010
2:32 pm

I do not like German Chocolate Cake

Dar

March 19th, 2010
2:33 pm

Point taken, Firkin. None of us really know what goes on behind anyone’s closed doors except our own. Besides, just because someone is an unbelievably nice, sweet person does not mean they are a good spouse. That being said, the general consensus amongst people who know or have met her and bothered to discuss her is that she is a great person. Now, being a great person doesn’t mean you are immune from problems. Maybe she was a crappy wife. Maybe she didn’t get freaky the way Jesse wanted her to. Maybe she was gone too much. Maybe a lot of things. If she was a crappy wife then Jesse should have told her that and divorced her. Nobody wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them and I doubt that Ms. Bullock is any different in that regard. What Jesse owed her was honesty. If he doesn’t want to be married to her, and that is what cheating screams loud and clear, then he should have asked her for a divorce. Cheating is a crappy thing to do, whether or not Sandra is a nice person.

JJ

March 19th, 2010
2:36 pm

ASD you took the words right out of my mouth. However, I divorced my cheating spouse……and I’m glad I did. He is now on his 5th relationship since our divorce……I definately think I came out better on that one!!!!!!

SRH

March 19th, 2010
2:43 pm

The point that nobody has ever spoken badly about her (co-workers, exes, old friends)would indicate that she is a decent person…. again, maybe not the perfect spouse for Jesse, but still, she doesn’t deserve to be humiliated like that.

Yeah, SRH...

March 19th, 2010
2:52 pm

…you only “deserve to be humiliated like that” if you are not a nice person.

And, Becky, you are only adding to the agenda of which “why, oh why” wrote with your remarks of “I was told over 10 years ago that Tiger was sewing his wild oats anywhere that he could..” Hearsay is not admissible in court…but text messages are…

Dar

March 19th, 2010
2:54 pm

That, SRH, is what underlies this entire issue. Look folks, nobody is saying that people cannot change their minds about their choice of spouse and seek a divorce. Do I think that people should do their best to try to work it out, especially if they have children? Yes, I do. But if you won’t or can’t, then get divorced. It is the cheating part that is wrong. There is no excuse for being sneaky and dishonest. If you do not want to exclusively be with the person you are with — assuming that you have not worked out some arrangement with them otherwise — then get a divorce, period. If you can be that dishonest with respect to what is perhaps the most important relationship in your life, then why would I even consider trusting you in any other aspect of your life?

Becky

March 19th, 2010
3:00 pm

Geez, sorry that I spelled a word wrong..No, I’m not judgemental..I didn’t mean that hearsay is admissible in court..It’s not up to me to say that any of these people are good people or bad people or whatever..Like someone else said though, they seem to be.. I like Tiger as a golfer and I will be at the Masters to watch him play..If Elin stays with him, as I said earlier, I wish them all of the best..Love is a very powerful feeling and if she still loves him, good luck..

Polytron/E2M Sucks

March 19th, 2010
3:37 pm

Incorrect: “Cheaters really are “bad” people,…”

Correct: “SOME cheaters really are “bad” people…”

There you go, fixed that for you.

Some of us may have cheated, but made a dumb mistake or where in a relationship where one party was somewhat manipulative & over the deep end, not mature. Some of us have not repeated that ever again.

But how dare I imply at any point that a woman might share even a smidgeon of responsibility! The audacity of me, indeed! After all, all women are helpless angels, without blame or guilt to bear.

;)

Tiffany

March 19th, 2010
3:39 pm

Well…Tiger is a good looking billionaire…maybe that means something to some people, but if I were his wife, I’d kind of be afraid of catching some disease from him at this point. He’s been with just a few too many others…sex addict or not…I mean, come on, porn stars? If I were Elin I’d have been LONG GONE. I don’t see how you could ever love someone like you did before all of that happened. As far as Sandra and Jesse…if it was an affair with just ONE other person, I might be more willing to give him a second chance…but he would really have to rebuild the trust. Jesse has been married a few times, so that kind of tells you something. Sandra seems like a strong woman…I know she will make the right choice for her.

JJ

March 19th, 2010
3:45 pm

I would never stay in an unhappy cheating marriage for the sake of the kids. It does more harm in the long run. I’ve seen it happen too many times………

I’m worth more than that.

As Dr. Phil says “I’d rather be healthy alone, than sick in a relationship.”

’nuff said.

Peace.

SRH

March 19th, 2010
3:48 pm

@Yeah SRH – what is your problem? I think most would agree that “nice” people deserve good treatment, but that “not so nice” people deserve what is coming to them. If Sandra was not known as a “nice” person, we may not have sympathy for her. What is so hard to understand here?

Becky

March 19th, 2010
3:48 pm

@Polytron..Don’t think anyone on here said that women aren’t cheaters..I cheated on my ex..Not until after he had cheated on me for a few years..Does that make it right? No, but that was in the past and I won’t do it again..Some learn, some don’t..So, if you want to talk about someone where the wife was caught cheating on her husband, go ahead and I’m sure that we’ll chime in..

SRH

March 19th, 2010
4:04 pm

… and example of what I mean by nive vs not-so-nice. If Micheal Vick was bitten by a pit bull, we would probably laugh… if Charlie Sheen was abused by his wife, we would have little sympathy… if a child molester in jail was killed, I don’t think we would lose any sleep.

SRH

March 19th, 2010
4:05 pm

bad spelling on last post – opps. I am sure I will hear about it from Mr. Spell Checker!

TechMom

March 19th, 2010
4:11 pm

Why do people get all bent out of shape about misspellings? It’s not like this little box is a word processor with a spell check built in that people simply aren’t using.

SRH

March 19th, 2010
4:20 pm

@ Mr. Spell Master – touche, and very funny. I am actually quite picky about this topic in most cases, and write for a living, but somehow posts create a problem for me. I do hope you will forgive me :)

Becky

March 19th, 2010
4:22 pm

@SRH..Mr. Spell Master may not forgive you, but I do..As we learned, I can’t spell either, so let me be ther first to forgive you for errors..

SRH

March 19th, 2010
4:44 pm

@Becky – Thank you!

Dar

March 19th, 2010
4:44 pm

@Polytron. When I said that cheaters are “bad” people, I never said what gender. It is my opinion that when you choose to lie and sneak around you are a “bad” person. That is not limited to marital/sexual relationships — it is in everything that I expect people to be honest. We all make mistakes. We are all human. Making a choice to deceive your spouse/mate and have a relationship with another person is not a “mistake” in that sense of the word. When you cheat you are making a conscious choice to be deceitful and risk hurting your spouse. If your “excuse” is that your spouse is a jerk or frigid or something else, well I am sorry but in my world two wrongs do not make a right. If you do not want to be with your spouse then get a divorce. Once you have your divorce (or are at least in the process), you can go and date other people. Control yourself. Wait.

Dar

March 19th, 2010
4:48 pm

And I do believe that people can make amends and move past being a cheater and thus do not believe in “once a cheater, always a cheater.” The key is to admit what you did was wrong, accept that there is no excuse for being dishonest and cheating, and vow to be a better person and not do it again and then stick to it. I have made my own mistakes and have not only learned from them but also have not made them again.

TT

March 19th, 2010
5:02 pm

Tiger is a man with money. And a man with money always sleeps around. That said, there is a difference between a wife and a mistress. A wife will always be a wife. A mistress will always be a mistress. It is not the news that men with money have mistresses. It was this way a hundred years ago and it is this way now. Tiger’s wife should expect that.

Jesse's Girl

March 19th, 2010
5:36 pm

I think its all about the situation. Humans are emotionally driven…all of us. Given the perfect storm…all of us would be hard pressed to walk away from our “ideal” if he/she were standing in front of us…getting caught not even within the realm of possibility. Being honest….I have no clue how I would react in that situation. I would like to stand on my box o’ soap and say “Neva!” But…..I do live in the real world. Jesse and I have talked about it…and we both agree…you try hard as hell never to put yourself in that set of circumstances. Of course….you will always have the squid-nuts who do it simply because they can.

Rings Around Uranus

March 19th, 2010
9:27 pm

Schlertinteebs

March 19th, 2010
10:42 pm

I had too much porter tonight. Really, I did.

golf mom

March 20th, 2010
9:34 am

Elin should leave Tiger. He won’t change – once a sexaholic, always a sexaholic. I’m not anti-Tiger though when it comes to golf. I’m very happy he will be back at the Master’s and think he’s been through enough atonement.

As for Jesse, he should leave. He just can’t handle a beautiful, successful woman like Sandra Bullock. She deserves better.

JoeV

March 20th, 2010
10:55 am

No one should EVER follow a Dr. Phil quote with “nuff said.”

fer

March 20th, 2010
1:43 pm

I would LEAVE! No questions, no promises, no threats, no pleas….. Just LEAVE! And hope to goodness that I had no STDs to deal with the rest of my life! And not worry about the money and property.

5 classes with only 34 entrants?

March 20th, 2010
2:09 pm

ALMS needs to change the rules to attract more cars.

Jonathan Edwards

March 20th, 2010
2:12 pm

Erin needs to face reality…she married a serial adulterer who will never change no matter how many counseling and therapy sessions he attends…on top of that, he is a buddist…there is no way he is going to exercise accountability or self discipline until the money is completely gone…and that is not happening…if she stays, it is only because of the money and fame and she is a “stupid” blond who has no other place to go, no other purpose except to service her master.

Madea

March 20th, 2010
2:49 pm

Yeah, an affair ruins a relationship forever. It would never be the same. It’s like now it’s my turn … And I can be dangerously selfish when it comes to being bad! Men open the wrong doors with their behavior.

Hmph!

March 20th, 2010
2:52 pm

He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. And there is no cure for that! Also, there is no continuing a relationship with a man who would risk his and my life for sex with a porn star. And anal sex, too?!!! He is waaaaaaaaaay out there. No one person can satisfy his cravings, now. The wife needs to hang it up while she has her health.

AJ

March 20th, 2010
3:03 pm

1, 10, 100 doesn’t matter how many times you cheat it is still hurtful and it is still cheating. So forget Tiger did it 18 times, if he and his wife can work it out and he can accept that he is married and you cant have the respectful one at home and the tramps in the street (same type he cheated with) maybe they will be okay. Either way, either you forgive or not, but the number of times doesnt matter so much to me. Does cheating 10 times with 1 person hurt less than cheating with 10 people once? Probably feels the same. Either way Elin and Sandra love their husbands, we don’t and it is up to them to forgive, not us.

Old Timer

March 20th, 2010
3:17 pm

After being married for nearly 35 years, I can tell you that men who have affairs on their wives, their wives are angry with them for a very time. I read some reasearch where they say that woman stay angry with a cheating spouse for 10 years or more.

Whether a woman stays or goes, she is angry and hurt for a long time. I know that some couples work through it, but the relationship is never the same. Once the trust is gone, it’s a different kind of relationship.

Men seem to downplay infidelity a great deal as if it’s not a blow to the relationship but it is. For example, if you ask a man what if his wife told him after many years that his child was NOT his, but the child actully belonged to his next door neighbor, how would he feel? Shock, outrage, hurt, and I could go on and on. Most men would have a hard time forgiving the woman even if they love the child. The relationship would never be the same.

LMaddy

March 20th, 2010
3:20 pm

It’s one thing to cheat once, I can see that as a mistake, but to cheat multiple times with multiple women, that’s not a mistake, that’s a lifestyle. That being said, cheating once is too much for me. Once the trust in a marriage is gone, there is nothing.

Nancy Reagan

March 21st, 2010
12:29 am

Those of you on drugs should not post here. You should be in jail!

nonya

March 21st, 2010
8:16 am

I would not dare go back to this loser, I would get a divorce, collect alimony and child support x 2 and get paid for mental angish and embarrassment, And I would give him a hard time for the rest of his life. After all Elin is human and she has feelings as well. And to Tiger payback is a Karma. This is what happens when you think and act like ScarFace.

Debbie

March 21st, 2010
10:51 am

Not being a man myself, I hear it often said that Tiger is not a sex addict because all guys are like this. But, I don’t think that’s true. It seems from the stories I hear that some men do not have as big of a sex drive as their wives. Now, maybe they would be more sexual if they could have a different woman every night — is that the key? Obviously Brad Pitt has that ability, but he doesn’t seem to take the bait. Are there people who are addicted to porn, but not sex? I do know a female sex addict. Are you saying that sex addiction is not real and that all women just want to have sex all the time? I think we all know that’s not true.

trixie brown

March 21st, 2010
6:01 pm

No one know what goes on behind closed doors, so it’s not for us to say. I feel bad for all the kids. Family unit is a thing of the past. We shouldn’t worry about others. I don’t mind anyone else’s business I to busy taking care of my own.

Maretta

March 21st, 2010
7:31 pm

I said all along she would move back because she has nothing going for herself; she is dependent on him. After all this, there’s no way Tiger cares anything about her. He should have just gotten divorced and lived the life he wanted; his kids would have been fine.

Sam

March 21st, 2010
9:48 pm

If I were a handsome, famous, 30-something billionaire, no telling what I would do. I do know that most men feel they can compartmentalize love and sex, but they are constrained by 1)money, 2)opportunity, and 3)the knowledge their wife doesn’t agree with the premise.
I agree 11 nightclub hostesses and 2 porn stars is way too much, but Mrs. Tiger Woods is still a pretty good deal. Maybe it’s a better deal, because if she stays, he owes her big time. But, then being a blond model with $200,000,000 isn’t a bad deal either.

There is one thing I don’t like about Sandra Bullock. In her representation about her wonderful parents, she never mentions that her father was previously married, with a wife and young children, when he decided to divorce, and marry his secretary – her mother. The first Mrs. Bullock is also a vocal musician – but older.

My apologies for the intrusion, ladies.