Would you move back in with Tiger? Would you leave ‘Mr. Bullock’?

So it appears that Sandra Bullock has left, but Elin is back. It makes me wonder, when do you stay and when do you go?

People.com reported earlier this week that:

Sandra Bullock and Jesse James are not living under the same roof right now. “

“The actress left the Southern California house she shares with James just days before a report of infidelity by her husband surfaced, a source tells PEOPLE.”

“Bullock, 45, left on Monday, the source says. Bullock, who won her first Oscar – a Best Actress award – for The Blind Side on March 7, also abruptly canceled a trip to Europe for the London premiere of the film.”

Meanwhile in Florida Elin and the kids have moved back in with Tiger.

From earlier this month on People.com:

“Although Elin Nordegren knows her husband has ongoing problems, she has agreed to return with him to their Isleworth home in Florida to help restart his life, a source tells PEOPLE. “

“ ‘I call them the divorced married couple,’ says the source. ‘Elin knows Tiger has issues and is afraid to go near him romantically. Because of the children and his need to return to golf, she will try to live in the house with a wall between them.’ “

What do you think? Would you move back in with Tiger? Would you move out on Jesse? Who has to leave the house? Is one time too many? When is it over and when can you work it out?

104 comments Add your comment

JATL

March 19th, 2010
9:37 am

NO -to both! I hope I’m never confronted with this issue, but right now I feel that, for me, there’s a difference between a one-night-stand and an affair. With an affair, a relationship has been established, and that would be too hurtful for me to deal with. With ONE one-night-stand, I may be able to get over it (not multiple one nighters though). It all comes down to trust, and I know myself well enough to know that I would NEVER really trust my husband again, and that would eat away what remained of our relationship. I also would have a hard time letting go of his infidelity.

I did love what happened in the Sex and the City movie with Miranda and her husband -where they met on the bridge and everything (his one night stand) in their past had to be left in the past on advice from their marriage counselor. This type of thing is the ONLY way I may be able to move on from a one-night stand, but never an actual affair!

VaLady

March 19th, 2010
9:38 am

This is a huge situational ethics question that each “wronged” spouse has to decide for herself or himself – yes, even the wife can be the cheating partner these days.

Would I tolerate it? In a word, NO. I have been married for 20 years and started married life at the ripe old age of 41. I supported myself for 20 years before marriage and can support myself for the remainder of my life. The kids are close to leaving the house; so there would be no impetus to keep the family intact for their sake. Yes, they could be affected. However, at this stage in life, I don’t want to spend the rest of my time on this earth worrying that he might cheat again. Life is just too short. As to who would leave the house? I would — just to get some distance. The house would be sold and we’d split whatever profit was realized. I’ve witnessed a neighbor who threw all of her husband’s belongings on to the front lawn. It was a sad sight to observe.

Of course, someone younger – let’s say in their 20s or 30s – might want to forgive their partner, go into counseling and try to repair the relationship. Again, this is entirely up to the individual.

Why, oh why...

March 19th, 2010
9:46 am

…are we so obsessed with “what would you do”? mentality when it comes to other peoples’ travails? Yes, the situation is hurtful TO THOSE INVOLVED, yet it is not for any of us to judge. Why can’t we just let those involved deal with it without the continued media hoopla –

Oh yeah, I forgot – people who write articles and blogs for a living have to have something to write, so why not poo-poo the “haves”! Silly me, and I thought most people went to journalism school to learn to write serious stuff, no salacious stuff…

JATL

March 19th, 2010
9:55 am

@Why oh Why -do you bother reading the blog and commenting?

@A. Nusbaum -we DO know Tiger is evidently a “sex addict” who can’t keep his pants zipped! However, since he’s a sex addict who is worth millions, that may put a different wash on the situation…

Becky

March 19th, 2010
9:57 am

I guess I’m like JATL in this..If it was just a one night stand, I could forgive and forget..But it seems that both of these guys had “relationships” with these other women..All in all though, it’s up to each of these women to figure out what is bect for them to do..If they both decide to stay, then I wish them the best..

Hey, JATL...

March 19th, 2010
10:08 am

…I thought that commenting was the point of these blogs, so I do not understand your question…

And, no, Tiger is not a “sex addict” – he is a guy, and all guys have this unsatiable desire to have sex – the difference is that many do not act upon the urge outside their marriage, and most of those who do act outside their marraige are not in the headlines of newspapers, magazines, and TV reports on a daily basis…

motherjanegoose

March 19th, 2010
10:12 am

My observation is that no matter how beautiful or rich the wife is… many men will still stray. Says something about these two men ( at least) , in my book.

Not feeling obtuse today, or any day….so I am outta here. Have a nice weekend all!

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

March 19th, 2010
10:13 am

I know this isn’t serious journalism — It’s Friday so I went light and I’m running out the door to my child’s classroom to teach —- sooooo you a light topic about celebrities —-

JJ

March 19th, 2010
10:17 am

Having been there, done that and gotten the tee shirt, from this point, I can honestly say HELL NO!!!!!! I will NEVER put myself through something like this again. If you don’t want to be with me, then leave. I can handle it, I’m a big girl….don’t be a coward and sneak around in the dark. Man up and tell me you aren’t happy and let’s deal with it. But if you want to fool around with another, then you need to leave. It’s a simple as that, for me anyway. I’m a strong enough person, I will survive.

A cheater is a cheater is a cheater. The trust has been broken, and it’s very difficult to trust again.

Is "unsatiable"...

March 19th, 2010
10:18 am

…a word? Shouldn’t it be “insatiable”? Inquiring minds want to know – Wayne, where are you when we need you…

TechMom

March 19th, 2010
10:24 am

“I couldn’t care less…” about Tiger & Sandra (or Jon & Kate) but these topics usually get us started on a what’s right/wrong, appropriate, etc. and so the morphing of the topic begins until it comes back to a relatable situation that people want to talk about. In this case, I’m sure after about 40 responses you won’t even see a celebrity name mentioned.

Not getting into the details of the affairs, I often wonder if marriages that suffer an early infraction of trust can really last forever? How many spouses “forgive” the other so they can maintain their current lifestyle (often times for the kids) only to find out year later (i.e. when the kids are grown), that they never really forgave the offending spouse. In Tiger’s case we could ask why Elin is coming back home. The children are fairly young but he’ll be on the road a lot so it doesn’t seem to me that she’s going home for the “parental help”. Plus she’ll make enough money from the settlement to afford the stuff she’s gotten used to (including a nanny). So what motivates a person to go back? Maybe she really is in love? From the outside I think she’s stupid but I wouldn’t define love as a smart thing.

RJ

March 19th, 2010
10:27 am

I honestly can’t say that I would leave because my husband had an affair. Now in Tiger’s case, I’m pretty sure I would leave. He had multiple affairs. Hopefully I’ll never have to answer that question.

Now there are three words that are truly oxymoronic...

March 19th, 2010
10:29 am

…”love” and “smart thing” – good job TechMom!

The main reason I would consider leaving...

March 19th, 2010
10:34 am

…is the realization that I had married such “a stupid” who would leave so much easily accessible evidence around where everyone could find out…and stupid enough to “believe” that the bimbos with whom he was cavorting would not ever say anything…

Jeff

March 19th, 2010
10:41 am

Not even sure where to start. While people are responsible for their actions and how they affect others, you will also never know the story of behind closed doors. Maybe the relationships were crap for a long time. It can happen when you are away form each other for extended periods of time like these two cases. Maybe Jesse James just likes ‘em freaky and Sandra obviously doesn’t fit that bill.

So many diff ways to go with this.

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
10:42 am

I guess Jesse James will not be nearly as lucky as Tiger.. I really do feel bad for Sandra.. She deserved better…

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
10:45 am

Why, oh why… We do live in a FREE country. IF you don’t like it either don’t read it or turn the channel. NO one has a gun to your head.. :)

Jeff

March 19th, 2010
10:47 am

Sorry, roaming. Being a free country, we get to speak about things we disagree with. Otherwise, people would say “every comment I saw supported…..”. Not trying to be snotty, but not commenting on things I don’t like also has an affect.

Wayne

March 19th, 2010
10:50 am

I love my wheel! Don’t go messing around with my wheel…

I was married for 12 years. Started out very good, but over time morphed into a friendship. Did I have thoughts of stepping out? Yeah, sure. Did I act on them. No. After 12 years, we decided – amicably – to divorce.

My current wife was soooo worried about me having affairs. I told her that if I didn’t do it in 12 years of marriage, I was not going to step out on her.

You have to take responsibility for your actions. Sure, you can think about it – but acting on it? I mean, who hasn’t fantasized about Christina Hendricks or Brad Pitt? Use your head. The one on your shoulders.

Of course, if Christina Hendricks showed up on my doorstep… Nah, the chances of that happening are pretty much in the toilet.

Back to your regularly scheduled program…

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
10:53 am

Wayne, you crack me up!!

Jeff

March 19th, 2010
11:03 am

I also have a caveat in place for Heather Locklear and Halle Berry, but the odds? Not so good. I ain’t got it like THAT.

whybother

March 19th, 2010
11:06 am

now your cut and pasting people.com?, whats next?… TMZ? your a derivative of a derivative? Oh, and thanks for telling us this isnt serious journalism, as if thats what you typically provide? yea, you typically cut and paste the New York Times…..

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
11:08 am

looks like a few have their panties in a wad….. I like TMZ

TechMom

March 19th, 2010
11:08 am

@A. Nalman, we had this discussion yesterday. If I said, “I could care less” doesn’t that imply that I care at least some in order to be able to care less? So if I “couldn’t care less” it means I care so little, it’s impossible for me to care less than I do now.

Carmella Bing Fan

March 19th, 2010
11:10 am

“A cheater is a cheater is a cheater.” <– This is not necessarily true, and a tired old saying. Please let it go!

once a cheater

March 19th, 2010
11:15 am

always a cheater

Carmella Bing Fan

March 19th, 2010
11:20 am

“lways a cheater” <- No, this is not correct. I speak from personal experience.

once a cheater

March 19th, 2010
11:21 am

Jeff

March 19th, 2010
11:21 am

I cheated @ age 23 on GF. Haven’t cheated since, haven’t been tempted.

TechMom

March 19th, 2010
11:24 am

@A.Nalman
“we” = the responders to this blog.

once a cheater

March 19th, 2010
11:30 am

sorry i was wrong not always a cheater my post was a mistake

Becky

March 19th, 2010
11:33 am

@Wayne..Others on here can have Brad Pitt, I’m waiting on Alan Jackson or Denzel Washington..Yes, I know that I’m showing my age..Oh well..

Roaming Gnome

March 19th, 2010
11:38 am

Becky

March 19th, 2010
11:40 am

Yeah, Taye Diggs could eat crackers in my bed also..

lmao

March 19th, 2010
11:40 am

I am not a fan of South Park but that new one with Elin beating the crap out of Tiger is just funny, I dont care who ya are!

Roaming Gnome

March 19th, 2010
11:45 am

Patrick DEMPSEY
Will SMITH
Jeffrey Dean Morgan

Wayne

March 19th, 2010
11:48 am

Racquel Welch
Victoria Principal – early years
Jacqueline Smith

The closest I’ve been to Victoria Principal was a waitress at a restaurant I went to. I talked to her about it and she said, yeah, I get that a lot…

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
11:52 am

Tina Turner.. That woman still has some legs on her!

Gwinnett Sucks

March 19th, 2010
12:08 pm

I read a book and I’m done. Now what?

I had a dream about Jennifer Anniston...

March 19th, 2010
12:28 pm

…all we did was have dinner – told the wife about it and she sucker punched me!

SRH

March 19th, 2010
12:33 pm

They say about 50% of spouses do cheat, male and female. If that is true, then quite a few of us here have either cheated, or been cheated on. In Sandra’s case, it may be one of those situations where the woman outshined the guy – lots of guys can’t take that. I had also heard that she dated Jesse when he was still married to the porn star – so maybe what goes around comes around right? I did like him, something about the bad-boy style is appealing. I think the worst is that when people like us go through it, it is a quiet matter. I feel bad for all of them, but that’s the downside to fame and fortune, right? I continue to be surprised by the arrogance of these guys – how can they NOT know they will get caught?

DB

March 19th, 2010
1:34 pm

I dunno — trust is such a big issue for me, I think I’d have a hard time getting over an infidelity. I don’t think I’d want to keep going, wondering when the next “mistake” was going to happen. But if small children were involved . . . I just don’t know. I’d like to think I’d say, “Begone, you cheater!” but the reality is that it all boils down to trust — could I trust him stay faithful? If I were Elin, I’d want a change in the prenup that says if he’s caught cheating again, she gets 90% of everything, child support AND alimony :-) That MIGHT keep him on the straight and narrow — and if he doesn’t sign it, then yeah, he’s gone.

Meanwhile, if we’re talking about crackers in bed — oddly, I also find myself drawn to celebrities who tend to have strong marriages, such as Mark Harmon and Pierce Brosnan.

Becky

March 19th, 2010
1:35 pm

@SRH..Yeah, been there, done that also..Not anymore though..

@Roaming Gnome..Yes to Will Smith
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (had to google him though)
Mark Harmon
Sam Elliot

SRH

March 19th, 2010
1:38 pm

They = most experts that are quoted. It’s a statistic that get thrown around all the time when infidelity is discussed.

SRH

March 19th, 2010
1:41 pm

@Becky and @DB: and Denzel! Lots of great guys still in love with their wives… of course women roam too – Lee Ann Rimes comes to mind. For some, the best thing, career-wise, if when they get cheated on. Honestly, would Jennifer Anniston even be in movies if it weren’t for the whole Brangelina affair?

Van Jones

March 19th, 2010
1:42 pm

Lovely Sandra outshines most everyone, not just men.

Becky

March 19th, 2010
1:44 pm

@Van..You are so right..She would be my choice for a “girl” crush..

Roaming Gnomb

March 19th, 2010
1:45 pm

She is grace and class… I hope she keeps her head up thru this and knows that she does have people that do love her

SRH

March 19th, 2010
1:49 pm

@Roaming Gnomb – I agree. Sandra seems like a really nice person, unfazed by stardom and very down to earth. She cares about the environment,children issues, she adopts 2 and 3 legged pets, and she gives a lot to charity without making a big deal of it. She is one of those actresses that is equally liked by men and women – which doesn’t happen too often. She is just very appealing, in looks and personality.

ASD

March 19th, 2010
1:49 pm

Being the “victim” of a spouse that cheated once, I do have first-hand knowledge of how hurtful such actions are. I have never cheated and, after experiencing the effects, know now that I never will. I could never do to another what I had done to me. For those who have never been there, please don’t way what you will or won’t do because you don’t really know. For me, forgiveness was the correct response and our relationship is now better than ever. For those who have never experienced a cheating spouse, I really hope you never do.