Are you too tired for sex?

A new study from the National Sleep Foundation shows about one in every four Americans married or living with someone says they are often too tired to have sex.

The New York Times reports:

“The study, based on a random sampling of 1,007 adults ages 25 to 60, focused on differences in sleep habits among ethnic groups — but the responses on tiredness and sex were about the same across the board.”

The report found that Whites were most likely to have a diagnosis of insomnia. Black were most likely to have sleep apnea and Hispanics stayed awake worrying about work, money and relationships.

The Asian-Americans reported getting the best sleep. Interestingly they were less likely to watch TV or drink alcohol before going to bed and were less likely to share a bed with their mate.

So what’s your status: Are you too sleep deprived to have sex? How many hours of sleep are you getting a night? What time are you getting to bed? Are your pre-bedtime ritual conducive to sleep:? What do you make of these racial breakdowns in the sleep study?

Editor’s Note: Commenting has been turned off on this entry.

215 comments Add your comment

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
12:27 pm

I never get to say I was too tired to pay the bills or I was too tired to tune up your car or too tired to buy you a new car so the last thing I wanna hear is you are too tired for sex. That is pretty fair don’t ya think?

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

March 9th, 2010
12:28 pm

@QRS…yeah but if you’re honestly into the experience being as much about her as you, then why would you want her to fake it simply for the reason of appeasing you? When my wife out of the blue says “don’t worry about the O, lets just strip down right here over the arm of the couch (or on the kitchen counter, the stairs, shower, you get the picture) and get busy because that’s how I want it RIGHT NOW”……I’m trusting that she is being honest with me and it’s not about the O for her.

I certainly WOULD NOT “rather just handle my own business than engage in sex with a woman who is not going to climax” in circumstances like that (the woman being my wife, of course.)

T

March 9th, 2010
12:37 pm

@ Simple Man – I’m flattered. How’s ur engergy level?? ;-) I like having fun. I like people who enjoy life and love to learn. I like trying new things and old stick in the muds who are too stuck in there ways to have a zest for life bore me!

Indiana Native

March 9th, 2010
12:37 pm

Theresa, my post didn’t come through! Perhaps because it was a LONG rant?!

T

March 9th, 2010
12:47 pm

@ Bam Bam

Sounds fair to me!

be a giver

March 9th, 2010
12:52 pm

I like what Sting wrote….he has makes love for eight hours. Great sex begins at the beginning of whatever day or time you choose. Begins with being nice to each other, hang out together, keep topics light, smooch, flirt (you can even do all the “beginnings” in front of the kids and kids love to watch their parents love each other) it works, trust me!

T

March 9th, 2010
1:04 pm

@ Simple Man – Again, I’m flattered but I would never be any good as “the other woman” because I want IT when I want IT and I wouldn’t leave anything for you to take home!! LOL

T

March 9th, 2010
1:06 pm

@ Bam Bam – if I had a “Take Care of Business” kind of man he certainly wouldn’t have to worry about me “Takn Care of Bizness!” I’d be busy making my costume for the night’s theme…I like role playing centered around fun and sexy themes.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
1:06 pm

Luckily I never have this problem, probably because I won’t wanna hear it anyway. But the biggest reason is because just like all other facets of life I try to be the best. So sex with me is a treat because I make sure it is. I am more than a lover. I am an experience.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
1:09 pm

@T
We are on the same page. Men would be surprised what can stimulate a woman outside the bedroom that would stimulate her so mentally that she rapes you when she sees you.

not tellin

March 9th, 2010
1:11 pm

@ bam bam ( 12:27) , so if a women handles all those things listed in your post for herself, then she can be too tired? I guess that logic seems fair too.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
1:11 pm

@T
I am creative so I love a creative woman. Does your man appreciate your sexy themes and role play because that is hot?

@ tiger

March 9th, 2010
1:12 pm

there is no way you know for sure she has not faked it to shut you up.. if you act at home like you do on here.. I would fake to as well….

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
1:13 pm

@not tellin
Are you suggesting she doesn’t have a man to do it or she just likes to do it?

Juan McMexican

March 9th, 2010
1:13 pm

1 out of four people have herpes.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
1:16 pm

@Juan
Thanks for the PSA

...

March 9th, 2010
1:18 pm

* 33.2 million people now live with HIV or AIDS.
* In 2007, approximately 2.5 million people were infected with HIV.
* Every day, over 6800 people become infected with HIV – almost five people per minute.
* 5700 people die from AIDS every day.
* One child dies every minute.
* 15 million children around the world have been orphaned by AIDS, losing one or both parents to the disease.
* Every fifteen seconds, another person age 15-24 becomes infected with HIV/AIDS.

US

* Roughly one million people living with HIV/AIDS in the United States.
* Since the start of the AIDS epidemic, 1.5 million Americans have been infected with HIV and more than 524,000 have died of AIDS.
* At least 40,000 people are infected each year.
* African Americans account for 48% of new HIV infections.
* AIDS is the leading cause of death for African American women aged 25 to 34 and HIV rates among Hispanic women are increasing.
* The number of women living with HIV has tripled in the last two decades.
* At least half of all new infections are among people under the age of 25.
* Washington, DC has the highest HIV/AIDS prevalence rates in the United States – one in 20 people are living with HIV or AIDS.

New Stepmom

March 9th, 2010
1:19 pm

@Pisces, I have PCOS too and have been able to maintain a good weight (I am 5′6″ and wear a size 6 or 8 when i am not pregnant-I am now alomost 29 weeks pregnant and have only gianed about 14 pounds). Find an excellent doc (I have one, if you want her name email Theresa and she can give you my email). One of the side effects of PCOS is depression and that can lead to bad relationships and weight issues. I have a lot of PCOS resources and have used them and am now pregnant with our miracle baby. Also, my last surgery and all of my prenatal sonograms have shown that diet, exercise, diabetes meds etc have improved my PCOS immeasurably. Do not believe that just because you have PCOS you are destined for wieght, depression and fertility issues. It is not true, you just have to get on the right track and be willing to work to find the right thing for you and you have to work to eat well and exercise.

If you do all of that, you will feel fantastic about yourself and dump the guy you are with who does not sound deserving of you.

Simple man...

March 9th, 2010
1:21 pm

T

March 9th, 2010
12:37 pm

Energy level is off the charts!!!! LOL!! I have been called a lot of things but NEVER a stick in the mud!!! Unbelievably creative and game for everything!

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

March 9th, 2010
1:21 pm

@tiger….awwww…you’re so sweet, @tiger…..how many other names have you used this week to avoid any actual accountability for your views? I’ll leave it at that though, I’ve got a soft spot in my heart for people who like to speak with the bravery of being out of range.

New Stepmom

March 9th, 2010
1:21 pm

sorry for all of the typos. I got to typing and re-reading too fast…

Pisces

March 9th, 2010
1:23 pm

Thank you New Stepmom for giving me hope!!!

Lurker

March 9th, 2010
1:28 pm

Tiger you do seem to keep the pot stirring

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

March 9th, 2010
1:36 pm

@Lurker….I’m confused, are you @tiger?

QRS

March 9th, 2010
1:40 pm

I fake it all the time. Eventually, I do get there, but I claim that I am about to get there several times in hopes to hurry things along.

Sex is more about the audio stimulation than anything else I have found.

Try watching pornography with the sound off. It won’t do much of anything.

So I keep moaning and saying that I am loving it when really I am just ready for her to finish so I can do what I really want to her.

***

March 9th, 2010
1:43 pm

… – You have your facts WRONG. NO ONE Has ever died of AIDS. What they die of is other illnesses that cannot be fought by the body as the AIDS VIRUS has taken over and basically shut down the immune system. But AIDS virus itself, is not a killer. You may have the AIDS virus, but that is not what caused death. You die from phumonia (sp) because your Auto Immune System was not strong enough to fight the infection, due to the AIDS VIRUS.

It’s like saying someone died from smoking pot. NEVER HAPPENED. There is absolutely no medical record of anyone dying from smoking pot.

Simple Man....

March 9th, 2010
1:47 pm

T

March 9th, 2010
1:04 pm

Oh well, can’t fault a guy for trying!!! LOL If you ever change your mind, ……

@… – You have your facts WRONG.

March 9th, 2010
1:49 pm

Introduction

AIDS was first identified in the USA in 1981. The epidemic has now spread to every part of the USA and to all sectors of society.

It is thought that more than one million people are living with HIV in the USA and that more than half a million have died after developing AIDS.

American HIV surveillance data are not comprehensive so many statistics must be based on reports of AIDS diagnoses. In interpreting such AIDS statistics, it is important to remember that they do not correspond to new HIV infections. Most people live with HIV for several years before developing AIDS.

AIDS statistics
People living with AIDS

At the end of 2007, the CDC estimates that 468,578 people were living with AIDS in America, around 20,000 more than 2006. This number includes all people who have ever been diagnosed with an AIDS-defining condition and are believed to be alive, including many people who have recovered their health by taking antiretroviral therapy. The chart below shows the ethnicities of these people, revealing that black Americans have been disproportionately affected.
Graph of ethnicity living with AIDS in the USA

The charts below show how adults and adolescents (aged 13 and over) living with AIDS most likely became infected with HIV. Just over 75% of adults and adolescents living with AIDS are men.
Graph of Men/Women living with AIDS in the USA

An estimated 3,792 children aged under 13 were living with AIDS at the end of 2007. The vast majority of these children acquired HIV from their mothers during pregnancy, labour, delivery or breastfeeding.

People with AIDS are surviving longer and are contributing to a steady increase in the number of people living with AIDS. This trend will continue as long as the number of new diagnoses exceeds the number of people dying each year.
AIDS diagnoses and deaths

In June 1981, the first cases of what is now known as AIDS were reported in the USA. During the 1980s, there were rapid increases in the number of AIDS cases and deaths of people with AIDS. Cases peaked with the 1993 expansion of the case definition1, and then declined. The most dramatic drops in both cases and deaths began in 1996, with the widespread use of combination antiretroviral therapy.
AIDS diagnoses and deaths graph.

Since 2000 the annual numbers of AIDS diagnoses have been relatively constant, with an estimated 37,041 in 2006. In total, an estimated 1,051,875 people have been diagnosed with AIDS in America.

The death rate among people with AIDS has also remained relatively stable in recent years; there were an estimated 14,561 deaths in 2007. Since the beginning of the epidemic, an estimated 583,298 people with AIDS have died in the USA.
Who is affected by AIDS?

During the 1990s, the epidemic shifted steadily toward a growing proportion of AIDS cases among black people and Hispanics and in women, and toward a decreasing proportion in MSM, although this group remains the largest single exposure group. Black people and Hispanics have been disproportionately affected since the early years of the epidemic. In absolute numbers, blacks have outnumbered whites in new AIDS diagnoses and deaths since 1996, and in the number of people living with AIDS since 1998.

During 2006 there were an estimated 28 paediatric AIDS diagnoses, compared to 195 in 1999 and 896 in 1992. The decline in paediatric AIDS incidence is associated with more HIV testing of pregnant women and the use of antiretroviral drugs such as zidovudine (AZT) by HIV-infected pregnant women and their newborn infants.

The age group 35-49 years accounted for around half of all AIDS cases diagnosed in 2007. Around two-thirds of all people who have died with AIDS did not live to the age of 45.

T

March 9th, 2010
1:54 pm

@ BAM BAM – to answer your question, NOPE. I am still holding out hope that one day I find a man I click with mentally, spiritually and physically. The statistics aren’t in my favor, but I am keeping hope alive! I’ve always imagined being married would be SO sexually liberating…we would be eachothers to do as we wish, the sky is the limit, try anything at least once. You married folks should really cherish the gift you’ve been given in a life partner and work hard to make the most of it.

Rally One

March 9th, 2010
1:55 pm

what’s with all the AIDS talk? this is about sex with your SPOUSE or significant other…not random sex!

T

March 9th, 2010
1:56 pm

you really need to lower your expecations

T

March 9th, 2010
1:56 pm

@ Simple Man -don’t temp me, I was in a bad way last night, had to take care of myself. Hugging pillows is NO fun!

Tiger Ochocinco Mellencamp

March 9th, 2010
1:56 pm

@Rally One…just a bunch of pot stirrers today.

juan one

March 9th, 2010
1:57 pm

Simple Man....

March 9th, 2010
2:00 pm

T

March 9th, 2010
1:56 pm

Well Damn!!! Did you happen to see Moniqe’s Oscar interview with Barbara Walters??? remember, resistance is futile….. Give in …..LOL

T

March 9th, 2010
2:01 pm

@ QRS – you have to finesse (sp?) the quickie. Remember we are far more cerebral than you guys. Quickies can be fun and exciting, especially in random places!

LOL

March 9th, 2010
2:04 pm

did she not say she has an open marriage?

Simple Man....

March 9th, 2010
2:06 pm

LOL

March 9th, 2010
2:04 pm

She did…. And believe it or not it kinda made sense when she explained how and why it worked for her.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
2:08 pm

@T
No need to hug those pillows sugar

T

March 9th, 2010
2:10 pm

@ Bam Bam I think its fun also. I enjoy dreaming up the theme, making the costumes and getting the stage ready. “Naughty Nurse”, “Bad Cop,” “Catholic School girl with the dirty Head Master,” “Suprise for the Cable Guy,” “Porn Star looking for a Director,” “Tarzan/Jane” the list goes on and on…I also like to incorporate something edible into the theme if possible.

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
2:10 pm

Ok what is going on with the AIDS talk? Is somebody trying to tell us something about themselves. Does anyone know where I can buy some blog condoms?

BamBam

March 9th, 2010
2:12 pm

@T
Ok we got Monday- Saturday taken care of so I guess I could let you rest on Sunday. Lol

Truth

March 9th, 2010
2:12 pm

well if she wont give it up at home.. there is a good chance YOU bring it home….

T

March 9th, 2010
2:14 pm

@ Simple Man – by “Open Marriage” does she mean that they both go outside of the marriage, or did she mean that if a indiscretion were to happen, it wouldn’t end her marriage?? It seems as if the “other woman” ends up with the short end of the stick though…I guess I need to broaden my horizons and think about what would make me comfortable and how it could benefit us both….

T

March 9th, 2010
2:14 pm

@ Bam Bam – LMAO!!! ;-)

Piso Mojado

March 9th, 2010
2:23 pm

How many guys out there have a gut hanging over their belt? How many women out there just plain look frumpy? Most of them. Just look around next time you’re in a large shopping mall. I feel sorry for the men or women who fit in either of these categories. It seems that after 20 or more years of marriage, many people just don’t care about looking good anymore. Keeping yourself attractive to your mate is hard work. It’s even harder if you don’t exercise and eat fast food on a fairly regular basis.

I’m sorry, but there is absolutely nothing sexually attractive about an overweight man or woman.

Dar

March 9th, 2010
2:25 pm

@QRS – not having the Big O doesn’t mean not having great sex. I am a very active sexual partner; vocalizations and all that jazz. And I don’t fake a bit of it. I wouldn’t have sex with my partner if I was truly not in the mood at all….luckily, I love him and that pretty much puts me in the mood all the time. Think of it like this – sometimes when I leave the house I have a set destination and I get there; other times, I just want to go out and drive around and enjoy that without ending up anywhere. Sex is like that for me (and apparently some other women on this board) inasmuch as there are times when I have no destination (the Big O) and just want to have a fun ride with the top down, shifting gears with the wind in my hair. :)

Simple Man....

March 9th, 2010
2:25 pm

T

March 9th, 2010
2:14 pm

Well, she seemed to indicate that both cases applied. I was like wow and got to thinking that although this type of idea is outside of the norm, If both members are completely honest about where they are and what they are feeling, this type of situation could be an enhancement to a relationship instead of a deal breaker. I would have to do some soul searching, but I think I could find a place in myself that would be OK with this….

***

March 9th, 2010
2:28 pm

Piso – beauty is in the eye of the beholder!!! What you may consider unattractive, may be attractive to the spouse. There are some women who like their men with a little meat on them.

I for one, cannot stand skinny men. That’s nasty.

Van Jones

March 9th, 2010
2:28 pm

Did I log on to a dating service here???