We did watch the premiere of “The Marriage Ref” on Sunday and the one thing that really caught my attention was host Tom Papa’s little routine at the beginning of the show about his single friends trying to find their soul mates. He advised just to settle for the person that they could basically get along with OK. They don’t have to perfect. They just have to be someone you can tolerate for a long period of time. (I’m trying to pull up his exact wording on the joke but the NBC video is taking forever!)
When I was young I did believe Michael was my soul mate. We started dating when I was 19 and he was 21. He always said there’s no such thing as soul mates. He believed there were loads of people you could marry and do relatively well with. That used to hurt my feelings terribly, but now I kind of agree.
I think you can do a very good job finding someone that you do really mesh with and are pretty close to soul mates and those are the marriages that last. Michael and I have been together for 18 years. I think we did a pretty good job finding a match that understand us, we can work with, have the same interests, and overall get each other.
Are there other people out there we each could have ended up marrying? Probably and the life would have been OK. Different but OK. But I don’t think as good the match that we are.
So my question is: Do you believe in soul mates? Do you believe there is just ONE person out there for you that is exactly the right match? Do you believe you found that person?
Do you believe there are multiple people with whom you could create a relatively happy life? Do you think you would be the same person if you married a different person? Would your life have turned out the same way?