'The Marriage Umpire:' Hubby never plans ahead! | Momania: A Blog for Busy Moms

Jeff in Roswell

February 25th, 2010
8:41 am

I am one of those men. I will take my 20 lashings with a wet noodle. The good news is, my wife is too! It works for both of us. She usually buys what she wants for her birthday and I cook her a meal she likes. In turn, she gets me a card for my birthday because I tell her not to spend money on me. It works for both of us. At Christmas we get each other one or two small items and then focus our attention on our son and the rest of the family. Neither of us are big planners. We do a lot of things on the spur of the moment, such as travel, weekend activities, etc.

Raqi

February 25th, 2010
8:42 am

I feel like this shouldn’t be something that’s just a part of his personality

That’s the problem right there, it’s not a part of his personality. The thing about adults, as we know because we all are one, we have already been raised so good luck trying to program someone to be something they are not already.

And then you can’t make someone care about something that they don’t. I am not saying that the husband’s in this topic don’t care about their wives birthdays but it seems obvious that they have no desire to go all out for it. Some things we just have to accept. We make ourselves more aggravated trying to make things be instead of just accepting them as they are.

I am sorry the two of you are having this problem but those are grown men and if they just don’t care to make a big todo about it, there is nothing anyone can do to change that.

julia

February 25th, 2010
8:43 am

Can we add the teenage son to the list I swear its genetic. He gets home from school yesterday mind you telling me we have to be at the high school tonight from 6-9 so we can pick out his electives then tomorrow night and sat morning he has band practice at school.. Thank you son for hmmmm the early update :)

cld

February 25th, 2010
8:45 am

In our marriage, I am the planner and DH is not so much. Every once in a while, he surprises me by planning ahead. Usually, he leaves it to me. I really don’t mind. Last-minute birthday gifts? I don’t care. We don’t do much anyway. This year, it was a collection of photo prints of our son (ones we’ve been meaning to print) for our family photo wall at home, and a Godiva macaroon (my favorite). For Christmas, we exchange stockings and that’s it. Our anniversary, we exchange cards. And all those things are fine by me.

cld

February 25th, 2010
8:47 am

I should add that he does plan ahead (and keep me in the loop) when it comes to the big things, like traveling with work.

JJ

February 25th, 2010
8:54 am

Sounds incredibly selfish to me.

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
8:56 am

I can only give you feedback as how this topic became an issue with MY marriage. We went to Hawaii. I was against it because we had a 3month old daughter. she planned it anyway discounting that my concern shouldn’t be a concern. I told her the only thing I had my heart set on was going to pearl harbor (I’m a history person and she knows this). She attempted to talk me out of pearl harbor because it was going to costs a little extra, blah blah blah. And she decided I could go to PH by myself.

When the ex would routinely IGNORE my planning and desires, I eventually stopped trying to give my input.

If you have a history of running over or pooh-poohing his plans or ideas, he may think “why should I bother”. That may not be your hubby’s issue, but it was mine.

Dave

February 25th, 2010
8:57 am

Don’t make general statements such as: “Do men plan less than women?” Generalized statements are foolish. This is a case by case basis. I’m sure there are lots of women who don’t plan and are bad gift-givers too.

I plan ahead. My wife’s birthday is in July, and it never sneaks up on me. I have an area in the house where my wife knows not to look because there’s usually something there for her (birthday, valentines, mother’s day, Christmas, just because), and she abides by this. No matter when it is, if I see something I think she’ll like I get it (plus bigger items at gift time) so I’m always prepared.

With a birthday around Christmas, folks have always had issues with that. He probably thinks he spends a little extra on her Christmas gift and that’s good enough. She should just tell him that she’d like something special on her birthday – that it would mean alot – and that should suffice.

TechMom

February 25th, 2010
9:11 am

Hubby is not a planner either. My favorite response when I say I feel like I’m doing all the planning is, “but you’re so much better at it than I am.” Boo! What a lame excuse at trying to make me feel better for doing all the work. That being said, I have learned that I have to specifically spell out exactly what I want. That process frustrates me because I don’t feel like I should have to tell him – shouldn’t he just know to do those things?

The self-help reader in me says, I have learned that I should tell him what I would like or expect and then praise/thank him for doing it when he actually does it. But I’m with these ladies (not about birthday presents per se) but just about anything that requires planning and effort, that I feel like I’m his mom when I have remind him to do things, create a list or thank him for doing stuff that just has to be done. I do that for the boy but isn’t he a grown man, shouldn’t he just do these things because he loves me and wants to make me happy or simply because they need to be done?

Peachy

February 25th, 2010
9:13 am

Have you told your husband how this bothers you? Try sitting down with him, when you aren’t emotionally upset and tell him how you feel just like you told Theresa in the e-mail: “I feel like I plan for your birthday, and recently it doesn’t seem like you have planned for mine. In the past I really appreciated your thoughtful gifts…” This doesn’t seem like rocket science to me. Tell him how you used to appreciate his gifts, you feel like you plan things for him, and you feel neglected that he hasn’t recently planned things for your birthday. Let him know it hurts your feelings and you wish it was different. It is amazing what actual communication will do when you share your feelings in a non-threatening, not emotionally filled manner, especially if you let him know how he used to do a great job.

crackbaby

February 25th, 2010
9:13 am

Ladies,

Since you are the planners, take the initiative and plan your own present ahead of time. Communicate budget and things he is required to do. Gentle reminders may be necessary to make sure those things are accomplished.

Don’t know if your families are dual income or the husbands work and the ladies are stay at home moms. If the latter is the case, you are in charge (i.e., the Boss) of the “domestic agenda”. If you both work, you do the planning and have him do some of the preparation work. Don’t expect him to plan something you will be thrilled with. Now that you have a family, there is more pressure on him to grow income or, in this economy, maintain a level of income that can support the family budget.

You are correct in your premise – he USED to be better at planning for your B-day. But you are no longer happy go lucky singles or a married couple w/ no kids. Life is not fair so be thankful for what you have – don’t co-miserate with your friend who shares the same B-day. That is like an addict seeking sympathy from another addict. Truthfully, adults bitching about a lack of birthday presents is pathetic. Your were born in the United States – that is perhaps the greatest gift one can receive.

Good luck.

JJ

February 25th, 2010
9:18 am

Jeff did you get to see Pearl Harbor? I was there in 1971 and it greatly affected me. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
9:23 am

Yes, JJ, I did. It has a very strange feeling to it. I was disappointed that I didn’t have anyone to share it with, but in retrospect, I was able to enjoy more of it by myself. Thanks for asking.

Momof2

February 25th, 2010
9:31 am

I think the spouse knows, at some level, that this is hurtful. I think you should start examining your relationship to see what’s really going on. If something has changed for the worse maybe you can work on getting it changed back. Unfortunately, this could be some immaturity due to your attention being diverted from HIM to his children. Or it could be something external to your marriage that is harder to identify. I’ve experienced some of this and in my opinion this is a big warning that something is wrong.

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
9:40 am

I am a planner by trade. I enjoy being spontaneous, but I’m not that great at it. I got upset with my wife last week because I didn’t think she was listening as I was explaining that we need to make good plans for our Spring vacation and our son’s birthday in April.

But when it comes to giving my wife a gift, it has become a burden. Not because I don’t want to express my love for her, but because it is too difficult. If I buy her clothes, there is a good chance she will not like them or they will not fit. I can buy her jewelry, which she likes, but I do so at the expense of me resenting it. I feel like shiny rocks are wasteful and anyone taken in by the Debeers scam is feeding a problem.

It would be nice if she wouuld tell me things that she wants. I ask, but she can think of nothing.

lovelyliz

February 25th, 2010
9:47 am

If a man can’t plan ahead, he can’t plan ahead. If that’s one of his traits you will be better off trying to work around it than changing him.

Now for my rant. As with my sister’s ex-husband and way too many other men of that ilk, it’s not that they can’t plan, it’s they can’t plan for events they don’t want to plan for. Ever been married to a guy who knows the exact date when deer hunting starts, can memorize the entire schedule of his favorite college football team, knows when his favorite hair band from the 80’s is going to be in town, but misses his wife’s & child’s birthdays, anniversaries, etc every year? Those are the men who have no excuse.

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
10:00 am

Does anyone (man or woman) ever say to themselves, maybe I made a bad decision? How did I play a factor in this? There are crappy people, no doubt and I will not make excuses for them. But being mad at them over something that is just their nature to do isn’t really good for anyone involved.

Alpha Dog

February 25th, 2010
10:01 am

quack, quack, quack, quack… quack

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:10 am

BTW, the woman who sent this in sounds very materialistic. I know she says its the thought that counts, but she should know his thoughts already.

She is putting a lot of pressure on her husband by asking that he find an object to represent his feelings for her adn present it to her.

How can I buy something that someone else made and it be a reflection of my feelings? Unless I make it myself, it can’t be.

I can write you a song, but it doesn’t sound like the woman who wrote this would be satisfied with a poem.

Petie The Crab

February 25th, 2010
10:10 am

Another day of slamming the male. Honestly, how do you fabuluos Ladies put up with we pigs?

playthatfunkymusicwhiteboy

February 25th, 2010
10:11 am

Wow – all I see when I read the above complaint is total self absorption. You have got to be kidding me. In this day and age, in this economy, two hens clucking about their husbands not buying them nice enough gifts for their birthdays. “I buy him something nice” so why don’t I get something nice? I bet your husband is really happy with you honey.
Get a clue women – we don’t “plan” because you are all control freaks. You give lip service to wanting us to plan and do things, but you don’t mean it. Plus, I’m too busy making money to pay for the house, your Lexus, the vacations that “oh my goodness you have to plan”, the bills, the kids tuition, to also play cruise director. Suck it up sister.
And on top of all of this, I bet the girl sending this in probably controls the checkbook – therefore the husband has no way to “set aside” anything without her knowing about it, then probably accusing him of withholding money from her.

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:18 am

Many of the women on this blog seem to be married to rednecks. I am not going to single anyone out, but a lot of the behavior I see complained about here is redneck behavior.

If you don’t like that behavior, you should have found a husband somewhere other than a Nascar gift shop.

Becky

February 25th, 2010
10:20 am

I’m with the guys on this one..Get over it..After 16 years, my husband still forgets my birthday..Life goes on..I knew by the 2nd or 3rd birthday that he was never going to remember it, I have learned to live with it..

As for planning, he’s very good at some parts of it, I’m good with the other parts..I’m 48 and hes 56, if we wanted it, we’ve already bought it, so for birthdays (when he remembers), he usually takes me out to dinner and if I want, we go buy me something, for his birthday, I cook a nice dinner for him and give him a small gift..

JJ

February 25th, 2010
10:21 am

Again – HAPPY TO BE SINGLE!!!!

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:25 am

Becky, He forgets your birthday? Like it passes and he never even acknowledges it?

lovelyliz

February 25th, 2010
10:27 am

It’s one thing when he can’t remember any date, but when he knows Pat Dye’s birthday but forgets yours…………………….

LeeH1

February 25th, 2010
10:28 am

My wife is a non-planner, and comes from a family of non-planners. She tells me exactly what she wants for Christmas or birthdays, and will even tear out the catalog page with the exact item marked, or send me the link to order it.

This sabotages any planning on my part, and she gets really upset if I give her something other than what she wanted.

Two weeks ago we were invited to a party on Saturday night, and she still hasn’t decided if she wants to go. Her sisters are just like this, too.

You just have to deal with it. She isn’t going to change. This isn’s something logical that can be addresses, it is just the way she is and her sisters are.

Living with another person means living with their faults. If it makes you angry, then there is something wrong with you- either you didn’t see the fault before the marriage, or thought your spouse would change. Both are faults in you.

RJ

February 25th, 2010
10:31 am

My husband has only forgotten my birthday once. He has never forgotten again. I’m blessed. Last year I received a dozen roses at work in the most beautiful vase for my birthday. Diamond earrings for our anniversary the month before. I guess what he doesn’t do at home he kinda makes up for with the great gifts. Kinda:)!

JATL

February 25th, 2010
10:31 am

This one’s from me! A few points in response to some of the responses (wordy, huh?) -YES, we have both discussed this issue numerous times with our hubbies. Discussions have ranged from calm discussions to fights, but the issues has come up a good bit!

@Peachy -it isn’t about the actual gift per se but the thought and effort. I would be really happy with a thoughtfully planned experience instead of an actual gift. I’m not talking trips to the Bahamas or diamonds either -just some effort! We both work outside the home, although I just recently went back to work, but while mine was a much better gift giver before kids (and I was working outside the home), we still had issues with him never planning but expecting the efforts of planning for events to happen. I have also gone to bat numerous times with our parents about hugely expensive things he wants so we could all go in on them and he could get them. Those days are OVER!

And here are some examples -both my friend and I turned 40 on our last birthdays. My friend wanted a special necklace (not crazy expensive or anything), but her husband waited until the day before her birthday to order it, so it wasn’t there for her birthday. I also wanted a special necklace and I’ve reminded him of this, but the crickets are still chirping on that one. He DID get me one thing I really wanted, but I had to do everything but order it myself. I also did all the planning AND paying for my 40th birthday experience except for the one gift. Since I hadn’t gone back to work full time yet, I paid for my birthday by selling old gold jewelry.

And THIS is the biggest deal. For Valentine’s Day I don’t expect much. I like tradition -flowers and a card, maybe some candy -dinner out. We did go out to dinner, which I actually didn’t want to do because I was coming out of an intensely crazy and hectic week, and of course getting the two kids together and shuttled off to his mother’s was all MY responsibility, but it seemed SO important to him, I didn’t say anything. He spent 4 hours the afternoon before VDay out and about and he did bring me a small floral arrangement (silly me thought something else was to follow since he spent so much time out, but I found out later he was doing stuff for himself). I got him cards, vday boxers, candy -this is our usual. On VDay I got nothing. All I wanted was a card to go with the flowers. When I brought this up to him he flipped out and informed me I didn’t even do anything for his birthday. NOW, wait for it -guess what? My mother DIED on his birthday last year! She freaking died! If one of his parents died on my birthday I wouldn’t even think of mentioning my birthday! AND, I DID do something for his birthday. I had nice gifts and cards (that I had gotten two weeks before) that I gave him and cooked him a special birthday dinner two days after her funeral. I used the only alone time I had in two weeks while she was in the hospital and dead to cook him dinner and get his birthday stuff together. As you can probably tell, I don’t know how long it’s going to take me to get over what he said. He asked me at the time -a day after she died -if there were presents for him! I told him “yes, but I can’t really deal with that right now.” In his defense, he did apologize after saying that after VDay, but it’s still really hard for me to get past it.

JATL

February 25th, 2010
10:34 am

@playthatfunkymusic -I drive an old Dodge and he’s never paid for a vacation! Get over YOURSELF. If your wife is leading that kind of life that you pay for, then she’s probably also doing the pool boy because sex with you makes her puke.

JATL

February 25th, 2010
10:36 am

@5!!!! -actually I would love a poem. He wrote a beautiful one for me about 10 years ago, and I would relish another. Truly -it is the thought and effort.

Jerome

February 25th, 2010
10:37 am

February is a bad month for me. My wife has her birthday (10th), Valentines Day (14th) and our wedding anniversary (22nd) all within a two week period. At least I do not have to worry about gifts for her until Christmas. I always forget until a couple of days before and it somehow turns out well for her.

JATL

February 25th, 2010
10:38 am

One more thing, then I’ll sit back and read -our husbands are FAR from rednecks -really, really far! I grew up in middle GA -I KNOW rednecks! Actually, many rednecks men I do know are really great at holidays and gift giving and they want no say in decorating. Maybe I should have married one of them!

Lisa

February 25th, 2010
10:40 am

JATL – either get over it or divorce him.

Holding that hostility in makes things your fault because you’ll always hold it against him and lash out at him.

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:41 am

Off topic but I could use some parenting advice.

I am throwing a party for my son’s birthday in April (See, I plan) and do not want for the guests to bring him gifts. He has too many things already. I think it would be nice if the other children made him homemade cards or something. I know he would appreciate those more than another plastic figurine or something.

Anyway, whats the proper way to word the invitation?

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:42 am

“One more thing, then I’ll sit back and read -our husbands are FAR from rednecks -really, really far!”

I didn’t single you out.

I am sure many of your husbands are not. But there are a few comments that are easy to spot.

Jeff in Roswell

February 25th, 2010
10:47 am

@ 5!!! 10:25 am My wife does this almost every year. She’s got so much running through her mind that she just forgets. This year, I heard her come in the front door after work, some curses followed and then she was back in her car and gone. I knew what was going on. She drove to Publix bought a card and a carrot cake (my fave) and came back. LOL! That’s my girl!

Nono

February 25th, 2010
10:48 am

I just wanted to stick up for the guys, because there ARE men out there who are very loving, very considerate, and very thoughtful when it comes to birthdays/anniversaries/holidays and gifts. I’m married to someone who ALWAYS tries to make these days special, and I KNOW there have to be more men like him out there. He’s even gone so far as to arrange for me to have laser eye surgery for one birthday, and requested time-off from my boss without my knowledge to arrange a surprise birthday weekend trip. And yes, when we first started dating in high school, he wrote me poems or gave me one rose as gifts – and I loved those too. It really IS the thought that counts.

Michelle

February 25th, 2010
10:50 am

5!! I would just write a blurb stating, “the party is for the experience, please do not brings gifts” or something like that!

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:51 am

“@ 5!!! 10:25 am My wife does this almost every year. ”

Seems different when its a woman forgetting than a man. I wish my wife would forget my birthday. Although I often speak in public with little problem, I am extremely uncomfortable receiving gifts and being sung to. I don’t know why.

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
10:52 am

Thanks Michelle. Would it be inappropriate to ask for the children to make cards?

RJ

February 25th, 2010
10:57 am

@5!!, have you discussed this with your son? Part of the excitement of having a birthday party is receiving and opening presents. While I understand your line of thinking, the party isn’t about you. If he doesn’t play with all the gifts he could give them to a local shelter. That could be a great lesson. If you’re set on him not receiving gifts, just put suggestions in italics at the bottom of the invitation. I do suggest you get his input in his wish list.

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
10:57 am

As far as the birthday with no gifts. Ummm, have you been reading how upset the grownups on here get when they don’t get a gift for their birthday? And you’re going to do it to a child? It’s not about you, the mom, it’s about the CHILD’S birthday. How crappy to face your friends at school and try to tell them why they didn’t get any presents. you can start installments on the therapy now that they are going to need later. Or you can point to this when some future wife of your son wants to know why he doesn’t think birthday presents are important. After all, she’s got plenty of stuff.

Married2him, Mommy2them :-)

February 25th, 2010
10:59 am

Wives/girlfriends, just know that you are not alone. Husbands/boyfriends, there is a company available to assist you.

My husband isn’t the best planner, but I love him for trying. He doesn’t know that I know, but he has used a Romance Concierge. Poor baby left the card in his jeans pocket LOL. When my husband isn’t thinking/planning, the “silent planner” is doing so on his behalf. I have loved every outing and the ‘just because’ moments. When he calls the silent planner, I know he is thinking about doing something nice for me, he just needs help doing it. Here is the information, (yes, I jotted down the information to share with a co-worker who stays in the doghouse) :-)

Donna, 404-234-6500, silentplanner@gmail.com

No need to thank me…just kiss your husband afterwards…and ladies, stop complaining and asking so many doggone questions, husbands egos bruise easily…no offense, husbands!

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
11:02 am

While I appreciate your concern Jeff, my son will be better off not receiving tons of toys from his friends. I know him well enough to knw that he would much prefer to recceive homemade cards.

He cherishes the valentines cards that his friends gave him at school and reads them over and over, while he just threw the teddy bear his grandmother gave him intoo the closet.

I will buy him a gift or two of his choosing for his birthday.

Becky

February 25th, 2010
11:02 am

@5!!!..No he doesn’t just let it pass..He usually remembers the day before or the actual day..Like I said, to me it’s not a big deal, just another day of the week..This year after going out to eat, he took me to the mall and said lets get you a gift..I walked out of the mall with nothing..My choice..

@JATL..My husband knows better than to send me flowers and candy on Valentines day..Flowers, because they are way overpriced for this day and candy because I don’t eat chocolate..

julia

February 25th, 2010
11:03 am

I am not a materialstic girl at all. My family mostly forgets my birthday now on the other hand, if my oldest brother forgets mine I wont call him on his because his is ONE month after mine :) its now a standing joke between the 2 of us…

julia

February 25th, 2010
11:04 am

did some one really just post a phone number?

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
11:08 am

Then in that case 5, please accept my apologies. I’m big enough to do that. :)

Jane

February 25th, 2010
11:11 am

@5!!! – usually you’re looking for some sort of activity for the kids at the party. How about an activity to make cards for your son?

That way, the kids can each make a card for your son there. You’ll have various colors of construction paper, crayons, markers, stickers, etc available for the kids and they don’t have to plan ahead of time.

Your son gets home made cards, you have an activity for the kids and everybody’s happy!

Lisa

February 25th, 2010
11:12 am

Obviously – Married2him, Mommy2them :-) – IS Donna the Silent Planner, trying to advertise for business on here.

Pathetic.

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
11:15 am

Thats pretty good Jane. I will do that for sure. I will buy the mmaterials and then put them out.

We usually do an easter egg hunt. I was thinking of field day activities this year. Tug-O-War, Relay Race, Egg Race, Balloon toss, ect….

Michelle

February 25th, 2010
11:16 am

Jeff and 5, sometimes, I think the party itself is the “fun” part! My son wants to go go Stars & Strikes for his birthday party. He doesn’t really need any gifts because of the experience itself! I also have to wonder the age of the children too.

Some kids just naturally “grasp” the concept of homemade and thoughtful gifts over store bought! And, if his parents/family are getting him gifts, he will still have something to open!

Hey 5, what about having “supplies” there and letting the kids “make” the birthday cards at the party? It may not be as much fun for your son though…just a thought!

MomOf2Girls

February 25th, 2010
11:17 am

The only thing my husband does plan is birthday gifts! I always get something thoughtful on my birthday. It’s all the other stuff I wish he would help plan (vacations, etc), but I figure in the grand scheme of things, this is only a small part of who he is, and most of the other stuff is great.

@5!!! I don’t know how old your son is, and a lot of his reaction will depend on that. Just make sure he’s on board with the no gifts thing. As far as the kids creating their own cards for him, the only way to guarantee that is to have it as an activity at the party. You could also do some activity that will wind up with him having a tangible memory that won’t be considered “stuff” (pillowcases with pictures of him with each of his friends ironed on, with the friend writing a message by his pic, and of course another pillowcase for each kid w/ copy of pic; scrapbook of a drawing each friend did at the party or beforehand, etc). I can almost guarantee though, especially if your son is younger, that even if you say no gifts, there will be some parents who show up with one anyway for whatever reason, and the other parents / kids will feel bad for not bringing something. You’d be better off saying “bring a gift appropriate for donation to a homeless shelter / children’s hospital / whatever your charity of choice is”.

Michelle

February 25th, 2010
11:17 am

LOL Jane…we must have been posting at the same time!!! :D

julia

February 25th, 2010
11:20 am

I am one of those that avoid the shops during GS cookie sales, but I also do NOT do children’s over the top birthday parties. We had do do a few when the boy was younger but now its hmmm no… I do not think an 8 year old needs to have 100 dollar pizza party at chuck yer cheese with over the top gifts…..

TechMom

February 25th, 2010
11:22 am

@5!!!, I think it’s OK to tell close family members they don’t need to bring gifts but not other kids. When my son was younger, my parents bought him enough stuff the rest of the year and knew he’d get gifts on his birthday from other people so they started buying him savings bonds. I guess you could put “your presense is all that is desired” which I’ve seen on things like open houses or engagement parties but never a kid’s birthday party. My suggestion is to tell your son upfront that in order to make room for any new presents, he is going to have to go through the stuff he does have and choose some items to donate to the local children’s shelter. Teach him the gift of giving AND decluttering!

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
11:24 am

Alright, here is what I am going to do. I will put on the invitation “Your Presence is the only Present Requested” (clever huh?) and then at the party I will have one of those big mats for framing pictures. I will have all the children sign the mat and then take a group picture of those that are there and put it in the mat. Then he can have something tangible for the party, but the activity won’t distract from teh other fun.

If some people do bring gifts, we will say, “Thank you, that is awfully thoughtful”, but we won’t be opening them there.

I will also talk to my son about all of this prior to the party.

Thanks for the advice parents.

be a giver

February 25th, 2010
11:25 am

Every one needs to go and read books by Ermma Bombeck…she puts marriage and all that imples in true, funny, and light hearted perspective.
18 years of marriage, I asked my husband what song reminds him of me…he says “all of them”. I asked him if he loves me “he says, Always-do the girls need to be picked up? I talked to their coach today.”….Wonderful gift from a husband and/or wife…love each other and the kids…doesn’t cost a thing.

Married2him, Mommy2them :-)

February 25th, 2010
11:28 am

@ Lisa. Absolutely NOT! It is not that serious to me. The original post is a complaint/vent, I am simply sharing what makes me happy, and helps keep me happy. Sheesh!

Becky

February 25th, 2010
11:28 am

@5!!!..Depending on your sons age, and if some feel that they need to bring a gift, how about telling people to maybe just a %5 gift card..Of course I don’t know how you would go about asking people to do this in just the right way..

Becky

February 25th, 2010
11:32 am

Oops..Should be $5.00 gift card..

cld

February 25th, 2010
11:32 am

Wow, I would be kinda freaked out if my husband were using a “romance concierge”. I also am the wife who is glad her hubby doesn’t waste money on flowers. So I definitely don’t want him paying a commission for someone to plan something for me!

The only birthday demands I have put on my husband (and he has reciprocated) is that he makes or gets a cake for me. And, it can’t be a Christmas-themed cake. My birthday is the week before Christmas, and I can’t tell you how many red/green “birthday” cakes I had growing up. The one year that he ordered my cake instead of making it, he had it decorated in an all-out beach theme; as far from Christmas as it could be!

It’s almost always homemade, and the birthday person gets to pick what kind of cake he or she wants. The year that I was pregnant, he actually took a vacation day from work to have time to make my cake and clean the house. :) I guess he plans more than I give him credit for.

wmsmommy

February 25th, 2010
11:33 am

Though I like the idea of what you are trying to do for your son’s birthday, I think Emily Post has spoken out quite clearly that telling your guests what gifts TO bring you is in poor taste. Telling them no gifts please is acceptable.

cld

February 25th, 2010
11:36 am

Oooh – as far as the kids’ party . . . you could provide all the supplies for handmade cards. The kids can do it at the party. That way you don’t have to ask them to do it ahead of time. When the kids/parents RSVP, you might even mention the handmade cards to them.

But I agree with other posters about depriving a child of opening ANY gifts at his/her party. Depending on the age, that’s a big deal. If they’re toddlers or old enough for you to discuss it with them, then the birthday kids might be okay with it . . . but those in-between years, might be kinda disappointing.

be a giver

February 25th, 2010
11:42 am

@5!!!, too organized….what happened to having kids over and letting them play? As a child, we had birthdays with no party planner, no confetti, just my family, friends, cake, and free for all.

Peachy

February 25th, 2010
11:43 am

@JATL – don’t tell me it isn’t about the gifts it is about the plan, I realize that. I am just saying tell your husband that. It is unfair for you and him to only talk about things when you are emotional or upset. Sit down in a controlled, quiet environment (no kids) and simply tell him you would be delighted to see some plan or thoughtfulness and the lack of it of has been hurtful. Telling everyone on this blog about your problems and hurt feelings doesn’t help your marriage and only leads to more resentment on your side. Telling your husband about your feelings in a constructive manner will help your marriage. The key is communication, in a respectful honest manner!

Petie The Crab

February 25th, 2010
11:45 am

I’ve decided after reading these comments that my habit of not planning ahead is far worse than I thought or imagined and I deserve swift and just punishment. So I’m thinkin’ of commiting sideways or Harry Carey or somethin’. Course, I must admit I was already depressed after hearing they are considering bringing back FreakNik!

JATL

February 25th, 2010
11:59 am

@ Peachy -READ WHAT I’VE WRITTEN -I have explained that to him over and over and over -yes there have been arguments, but there have been plenty of calm discussions as well.

Wilbur

February 25th, 2010
12:12 pm

cld – try reading the comments posted at 11:11 and 11:16.

Read other’s posts and don’t just post your own.

SilverBlue

February 25th, 2010
12:14 pm

My husband travels a lot for work. To someones earlier point, he is out providing for the family. So I wouldn’t mind if he used a “silent planner” to help him… just means to me that he is smart enough to realize he’s not able to do it all, wants to do something nice for me, needs some help, and knows if he comes home with nothing planned – that’s a problem. Rather than he miss a significant date or is nonchalant about doing something because he can’t think of anything to do or forgot. And if it’s a silent planner I guess it’s something I’m not suppose to know about!

JJ

February 25th, 2010
12:15 pm

Jeff, one year for my stepdaughter’s 8th birthday I bought a tee shirt for her and a bunch of fabric pens. All the kids wrote Happy Birthday on the Tee shirt, and did some drawings, and signed their names. She still has the tee shirt, and she is 29 years old.!!!!

melissai

February 25th, 2010
12:16 pm

5!! – for my niece’s birthday last year, my sister put a note in the invitations that read, “in lieu of gifts, please consider making a donation to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation.” My niece was thrilled to accept the donations because she knows the money will go to finding a cure for her cousin. I have also seen people do birthday parties with, “in lieu of gifts, please consider bringing a bag of dog or cat food or a pet toy to be donated to the local animal shelter.” That was a big hit – I had FUN shopping for animals in need and the birthday girl was thrilled with the donation she was able to make.

Now, on topic, my husband isn’t a planner – wasn’t when we were dating and isn’t now. I don’t have unrealistic expectations of him, so when he surprises me it is wonderful. I love him and accept him and his quirks and lack of planning. :)

flwrgrl

February 25th, 2010
12:25 pm

As a teenager, I dated a guy whose family kept a discrete list tacked inside a kitchen cabinet with each members name and underneath probably 5 to 6 items listed, such as Mom: crock pot, scrapbook, Bible, brown wallet; Son: Lynyrd Skynyrd’s new album, fishing tackle box, tape player for truck; Dad: car wash kit, leaf blower, bedroom slippers, briefcase. After I noticed the list once while getting a glass out of the cabinet, I asked what the purpose was. The mom explained to me that that they used it to provide ideas to one another of gifts that would be welcomed for birthdays, Xmas, etc. Anytime they saw something they wanted, they would add it to the list. Then when someone had an event coming up, the others would pick an item off the list, and the one presented with the gift was sure to get something they really wanted without knowing exactly what it would be, or having to remind and hint. I always thought that was the greatest system I had seen, as my family fell into the “oops, is it Christmas already?” category.

As to the birthday gift issue, as my 2 sons started receiving way too many toys from relatives and friends for birthdays and Christmas, I discovered it was easier to just take some of the toys after they were unwrapped, yet still in the box and put them in a big box in the attic once we got home, but before the boys had a chance to destroy box. The boys never felt the absence since they had plenty to play with, and I would let them open and play with the 2 or 3 favorites they had really wanted. Those in the big box could be pulled out as the year went on and they were ready for something new, or if we needed a gift to give to someone at the last minute. Worked for us. As they got older (10 or so) parents stopped giving toys and typically gave money or gift cards, which my boys loved even more, as they could get what they wanted on their own, and we moms only had to buy a card, not spend 2 hours on the phone figuring out which red power ranger he didn’t already have, drive to Toys R Us only to find they were out of the red power rangers and only had the green, then trying to find something else, spending 5 dollars more on an appropriate gift bag with the red power ranger and matching tissue paper, etc…

catlady

February 25th, 2010
12:32 pm

Is this that he doesn’t plan ahead, or that he doesn’t plan ahead FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? Different things, in my book.

JATL

February 25th, 2010
12:38 pm

@catlady -it’s really everything. He seems to be completely unable to plan ahead (although he has in the past, so I know he can). The most recent examples are my birthday and Valentine’s Day -although VDay is usually no biggie for me, but his reaction was what got to me.

Married2him, Mommy2them :-)

February 25th, 2010
12:40 pm

Ok, at the end of the day, we all married different people (quite apparent). We married them with their quirks, qualms, and flaws. How does he know if you don’t express your expectations?

playthatfunkymusicwhiteboy

February 25th, 2010
12:49 pm

JATL – why you hatin’ on me? My wife and I have a fantastic relationship, she isn’t shallow and self absorbed like the girl (and again, I’m using girl instead of lady or woman – don’t care how old she is, she is immature) who sent in the “complaint”. I wasn’t referring to my wife, just the too many women I know that are completely clueless to how great they really have it in life.

I’m actually very much on your side in your situation. Your husband sounds just like the complainer, in fact, maybe even worse. How could a true partner be so self absorbed that thoughts of “birthday presents” would cross his mind when your mother is dying.

I can assure you three things, the first if you were my lady you wouldn’t be driving no beat up Dodge, second I can care less about presents or even acknowledgement on my birthday and I would never forget yours, and third if I was single – I’d schedule an appointment with you to disprove your last theory. Just remember, ifyour man can’t get past himself and make you feel like the queen you are – there are guys like me out there (who are single because they left some headcase like the girl complaining) looking for someone who would appreciate it.

cld

February 25th, 2010
12:53 pm

@flwrgrl, I do that today. It’s mostly for my own reference. I have sticky notes inside one of our cabinets. Whenever a family member asks what they can get one of us, I have a go-to list.

penguinmom

February 25th, 2010
1:06 pm

@5!! why don’t you instead ask them to bring a donation to a charity? People feel awkward coming to a birthday party without something unless they know you and your family really well. Give them something they can bring (food items for a local food pantry, something for the humane society, stuffed animals or books to give to a homeless shelter). Pick something that will be meaningful to your child and his interests.

JJ

February 25th, 2010
1:14 pm

9 out of 10 kids want presents for their birthdays, not some donation in their name to a charity.

Let kids be kids while they are still kids. I say pile on the presents for the birthday child!!!!!

penguinmom

February 25th, 2010
1:14 pm

@flwrgirl – I wish we could get my in-laws and extended to stop giving Christmas presents to the kids. I would love to stash away the unopened gift but… the kids open them in front of the family and the whole thing gets taken out of the box and played with right then. I really feel like it is a waste for my kids to get these presents when there are other kids out there getting nothing. Unfortunately, my in-laws get offended easily about presents so I can’t say anything about donating presents instead.

penguinmom

February 25th, 2010
1:24 pm

@JJ – a lot of us just don’t want more stuff in our house. I’m trying to teach my kids to be more content with what they already have. It would be one thing if their rooms weren’t stuffed full of toys as it is. If they started this minute, they wouldn’t be able to finish playing with everything they own for a month.
I think you can still make a birthday very special and not overdo the presents. My 6-year-old had a bouncy party with some of his friends and he had a blast. Got 5 or 6 presents all together but he would still thought it was an awesome birthday.
My kids may be different but what my kids really want on their birthday is to have fun with their friends. They actually are aware that other people are having financial troubles and don’t want to be a burden on anyone.

Jeff

February 25th, 2010
1:26 pm

Seriously, the grown ups on here are saying how important the gifts are (the thought, the planning, the caring, the not-forgetting) but we’re justifying downplaying the presents for a child’s birthday. I guess there’s always the option that I’m the one crazy in the group. Bring on nationalized healthcare so I can get my mental health treatment for free.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 25th, 2010
1:29 pm

I was really drawing a blank on this topic until the light bulb went off over my head.

Today’s Marriage umpire “game” has nothing to do with a settling disputes…..unless of course “settling a dispute” is code for “let me tell you about one of symptoms of why I resent my spouse and have some regrets about my marriage….there is more, but I just want to focus on this one today.”

Sug

February 25th, 2010
1:45 pm

I wish we could get my in-laws and extended to stop giving Christmas presents to the kids. I would love to stash away the unopened gift but… the kids open them in front of the family and the whole thing gets taken out of the box and played with right then. I really feel like it is a waste for my kids to get these presents when there are other kids out there getting nothing. Unfortunately, my in-laws get offended easily about presents so I can’t say anything about donating presents….

Penguinmom – WHY? What the heck is wrong with a kid opening a present from a grandparent and actually GASP enjoy playing with it in front of the giver?

Rachel Realist

February 25th, 2010
1:50 pm

Maybe they are buying gifts for other women now?

oneofeach4me

February 25th, 2010
1:55 pm

You do know that multi-tasking interferes with our short term memory right?

Anywho, If it’s anything that envolves the family, I do the research and leg work upfront and then go to him for his input (ESPECIALLY vacations). And we usually make the final decisions together. As for my birthdays, he handles that himself. Some years he does great, and some years he just does what he can. Like I have said to him before, “hell, I would be EXTREMELY grateful to be off Mommy duty for 48 hours!” When the ocassion calls for more than one person it’s just too much for him to think about. No big deal… it’s NOT the end of the world.

I would suggest to these women to REALLY open themselves up. Go to him for his input on family gatherings. As for your bday, it’s okay to drop hints at least 2 weeks in advance to help remind him. Hell, add it to his calendar in his phone that alerts him at least a week ahead. We as people have to remember that you CANNOT change anyone! Just work on changing yourself and everything else will fall inline.

Becky

February 25th, 2010
1:57 pm

The T-shirt making is a great thought..My 2 have birthdays the end of June and they love to garden, so this year we are going to decorate aprons for them to use while in the garden..

5!!!

February 25th, 2010
1:59 pm

Here is the thing about the gifts. At Christmas, my son recieved 19 toys. I counted. He also received several gifts of clothes. He is 6. He doesn’t know several of the people that bought him gifts.

He received 3 remote control cars in this excess. That was 2 months ago and all 3 of the cars are still in the boxes. I suppose I will take 2 of them to goodwill or toys for tots. Maybe all 3.

Of the gifts that he received, he has only played with one, the Wii that I can even remember.

I bought him several books which he has read.

We live in a small house. His room is small. There is no room. We could take things out in order to make room for more, but we would be removing things he doesn’t play with and replacing them with things he won’t play with.

JJ

February 25th, 2010
1:59 pm

Becky, what a great idea, garden aprons. I would really love to meet you. You just sound like someone I could be great friends with!!!!

FCM

February 25th, 2010
2:11 pm

Edward Cullen: “Bella your birth is definitely something to celebrate.”

Yes, he is a fictional, perpetually teenaged vampire, conceived as the fantasy of a SAHM of toddlers. However, in most fiction works, there lay grains of truth.

Women want to be appreciated (why do you think some scream Martyr all the time), they want to be wanted, they want to be chershied and adored.

I cannot tell you what women will do for their SO in return. I know that I am of the treat as you want to be treated variety. I spoil my SO (when I have one). In fact every single one (including the ex) has come back to say “Why did I let you go?” even as he really meant “Why did I take it for granted?”

JATL (you know I luv ya)but I have to ask you…How does he tell you that? Could it be your speaking different Love Languages and so you don’t ‘hear’ it when he tells you those things?

Wayne

February 25th, 2010
2:21 pm

Every time I happen to catch someone’s birthday date, I put it in my calendar, with a week before reminder. When the reminder comes up, I snooze it for a day and I keep doing that until I actually act on it. It helps, but it’s not perfect. I still have to do something. With my wife and I, it’s especially tough as my oldest son’s birthday is our anniversay date. Puts a damper on celebrating our anniversary!

Did you ever hear the one about the wife that got flowers (I think they were roses) every year on her anniversary? Her husband dies and on the very next anniversay, she still got the flowers. Turned out he used a service that sent the flowers for him. I don’t want to get to that point, but boy, is it tempting!

catlady

February 25th, 2010
2:37 pm

JATL, does he manage to make plans to go to a Braves game? Or play golf? Is it EVERYTHING in his life, or only things related to someone besides him?

I’ve know people who were perpetually late, for example, except when it was something they really wanted to do.

flwrgrl

February 25th, 2010
2:39 pm

@Penguinmom–sounds like we have the same in-laws;) My husband’s family insists on having multiple xmas get togethers with the various branches of their side and giving gifts at each party. Now, this is a sacred “tradition” that started when my husband was a wee-child. However, he and his various cousins are now in their forties and have multiple children who we only see once a year and live at least an hour from our home. The matriarchs are retired and plan and shop all year for these events, and won’t hear of any changes, such as just eat together, no gifts or move parties to a more central location. They don’t realize how stressful it is to us with busy families and schedules to have to plan and shop for all these people. My husband started a mini-revolution by threatening to boycott last year, but he caved at the last moment.

This is where my saving the gifts idea started: we would haul all these gifts home in black garbage bags (because they got so many!) and I gradually realized my kids didn’t even peek into these bags, because once they got their Santa presents at home, they could care less what Aunt Jane gave them last week. So I would just take those gifts out of the bags and put into the attic once they went back to school. So maybe if you take a big black bag with you to collect gifts and just stuff them into the bag before they can open them all, you could use my system. Encourage your kids to open one or two gifts fully to play with at the party, then discretely deposit the others in the bag and have hubby put into the car trunk under the guise of “cleaning up”. No one will be the wiser, and you gain back control of the toy monster in your home!

My wife's birthday...

February 25th, 2010
2:43 pm

…and our anniversary date are one in the same – and my birthday is the next day. So, guess who gets the cake every year? After 20+ years of cakes on her birthday and none on mine, I finally spoke up – guess who had a cake last year on my birthday?!?!?!?!?

Becky

February 25th, 2010
3:03 pm

@JJ..My two have been doing “crafts” since they were old enough to hold a pen, paint brush or whatever..She loves to do puzzles, he loves to “fix” things..She is an “artist” (her words)..I have a kit in my car now for them to make cement stepping stones..One year for their birthday, they help their Poppy pick up sticks and branches from the back yard & built a Tee Pee(sp)..

If you live in the area that I think you do, I used to drive out that way every Fri. to pick them up, not anymore..Do you live close to MOG and that area? They lived for 3 years like 2 streets up from the new Braves Field out there..Maybe one day, we can amke plans to meet..

Becky

February 25th, 2010
3:24 pm

@flwrgrl..True story.. I have a niece that is now 40..When she was 5 years old (only child at time) she got so many toys one year for Christmas, that my sister put most of them up in the attic and for her birthday and the next Christmas, she had enough gifts that my sister was able to “give” them out to the rest of the family for us to give as gifts..

FCM

February 25th, 2010
3:30 pm

Becky I was gutting a closet (storage) a few weeks back. A couple of boxes had not been opened since we moved in (May 2008). There was one box that had gifts from Christmas 2007 the girls had gotten that were still new in package. It was not that I would not let them have the toys or anything. They got so many that year form their Dad’s family (I have video) that we had agreed to put some up to be opened later (when the oepned ones lost their luster). I guess I packed them when we moved and we all forgot about them. They of course have them now and are thrilled.

JJ

February 25th, 2010
3:34 pm

Becky, I’m on the other side of MOG, Buford area. Towards Peachtree Industrial Blvd off 20…..

Becky

February 25th, 2010
3:42 pm

@FCM..Been there, done that..The ex and I moved 8 times in 10 years..That is part of what we did, buy a home, do some work, then move..We moved in to a house one Sat. on Mon. we put a “For Sale” sign in the front yard…I had marked boxes “Do Not Unpack”..Wound up not being able to sale that house so easily and 2 1/2 years laster, those boxes were still packed up..

@JJ..I know pretty much where you are..I am more toward the AL. side of town..I live closer to AL (I 20) than I do to you..

Geez, Becky...

February 25th, 2010
3:46 pm

…then why suggest meeting at the MOG – the closer halfway point for you coming from AL would be Perimeter Mall…guess geography is not your strong suit…

JJ

February 25th, 2010
3:51 pm

Becky, Georgia 20, not interstate 20. I’m no where near I20……

Becky

February 25th, 2010
4:40 pm

@Geez, Becky..I didn’t suggest meeting at the MOG..If you could read, you would of known that..All I did was ask JJ if she lived close to that area..So maybe you need to go back to school and learn to read before you start pointing fingers..

@JJ..I know where Georgia 20 is..I was just giving you a clue as to what part of town I live in..:)

penguinmom

February 25th, 2010
7:18 pm

@Jeff, I didn’t really comment on the present situation between the adults. I think the main point there is a lack of thoughtfulness not so much the actual present or amount spent. I think you can still be thoughtful to your kids(or spouse) without loading them up with presents.
As far as kids and presents versus adults and presents, I actually don’t normally want presents for my birthday or even Christmas. I prefer to do something to create memories. This year we are probably going to see Mary Poppins at the FOX.

@Sug- I have no problem with one or two presents from the g-parents. And I’m glad they get to enjoy seeing the kids open them. It’s the extended family who we rarely and the occasional overkill of presents that seems silly. We open presents from grand-uncles/aunts often in January when my in-laws bring them to our house. I just don’t believe my kids need all of the extra presents they get. When you see other people need it seems selfish to get toys that will only be played with once or twice.

motherjanegoose

February 25th, 2010
11:23 pm

WOW…you guys have had a busy day. Thanks for the entertainment. I think I am in Chicago but I am too tired to care! Night!

From Becky's 3:03pm post (typo's and all)...

February 26th, 2010
7:18 am

…”If you live in the area that I think you do, I used to drive out that way every Fri. to pick them up, not anymore..Do you live close to MOG and that area? They lived for 3 years like 2 streets up from the new Braves Field out there..Maybe one day, we can amke plans to meet..”

From Becky’s 4:40pm post – “@Geez, Becky..I didn’t suggest meeting at the MOG..If you could read, you would of known that..All I did was ask JJ if she lived close to that area..So maybe you need to go back to school and learn to read before you start pointing fingers..”

True, writing (typos and all) “Maybe one day, we can amke plans to meet..” does not mean meeting at the MOG, but it SEEMS to mean that someday you could meet in that area, since you were asking if JJ lived close to that landmark…

Lisa

February 26th, 2010
7:27 am

FCM – please don’t give out marriage advice. Yours obviously doesn’t work.

Poster @ 7:18 (that keeps changing their name because they don’t have the nerve to post their real name) – wow, you pointed out one typo from Becky – is that all you have to do with your life? And, no, she never said to meet at MOG – as they say: “When you assume…”, although it really only applies to you.

Theresa, you said there would be two more postings yesterday, what happened? Sick child?

Wow, Lisa...

February 26th, 2010
7:45 am

…you must have gotten up on the wrong side of the bed this morning – three comments and all negative – today you epitomize the concept of “do you wake up grumpy”, as the old punchline would apply to you today “No, I let her sleep in”!

JJ

February 26th, 2010
8:19 am

Let it go, it’s not worth the stress.

Becky

February 26th, 2010
8:50 am

@From Becky’s..You know, glad that you have made it your mission to pick on me, that must make you feel about 5 feet tall..Did you miss the first word in my poast at 3:03..IF..Do you know what they means??

Even if JJ doesn’t live in the area that I thought she did, does not meant that IF she said that she would drive to the MOG or any other mall (of her choice) that I wouldn’t be willing to drive there and meet her..

Please forgive me for my typo..I have never once on here claimed that I was perfect or that I know more than others on here, so I beg you (in all of your snottiness), to please, please forgive me..My day will not be worth living if you don’t find it in your black heart to forgive me..And if you really think that is the truth, you are dumber than you make yorself out to be..

@Lisa..Thank you for standing up for me, but just because FCM’s marriage didn’t work out, doesn’t mean that she didn’t try to make it work out..

@JJ..I don’t let anything that is so stupid stress me out..I think it’s funny that some people have nothing better to do, than be on this blog and search for one person to pick on..These type of people are ?? I don’t even what to say about them..

Sarah H

February 26th, 2010
8:53 am

I keep checking this blog hoping that you are through with the ‘Marriage Umpire’ stuff. So boring.

JJ

February 26th, 2010
9:01 am

Becky, some people are miserable, and must make those around them miserable too. You know the saying ” Misery LOVES company”…….

Happy Friday to you!!!!

Peachy

February 26th, 2010
9:45 am

@JATL you never said you have spoken with him calmly about this, if you have and it doesn’t work, then it doesn’t work and he won’t change. So, to keep yourself from getting so upset about it, stop planning and buying things for his birthday. See how he feels when the shoe is on the other foot. This will most likely show him how you feel and reduce your ill will towards him…

Jeff in Roswell

February 26th, 2010
10:10 am

THERESA! The natives are getting restless – that includes me!

Wow, Becky...

February 26th, 2010
11:06 am

…you really told ‘em – and you say “I don’t let anything that is so stupid stress me out..I think it’s funny that some people have nothing better to do, than be on this blog and search for one person to pick on..These type of people are ?? I don’t even what to say about them..” yet you are so stressed out that you cannot even thing what to say, while at the same time addressing 2 posts to that (those) person (people) – sounds like the joke is on YOU!!!!

Jeff in Roswell

February 26th, 2010
11:20 am

@ Wow, Becky…

What kind of soup are you making today?

Becky

February 26th, 2010
11:23 am

At least if you are making fun of me, then you are leaving someone else alone..

Wayne

February 26th, 2010
11:26 am

I’m getting a headache trying to read what Wow, Becky is trying to say…

Jeff in Roswell

February 26th, 2010
11:33 am

I’m with you Wayne, it is kind of a mess.

MomsRule

February 26th, 2010
11:40 am

Wow Becky, From Becky, Geez Becky, etc.

Good grief. Pick A Name.

Christine Casey

February 26th, 2010
12:01 pm

Read if you get time.

Christine Casey

February 26th, 2010
12:02 pm

Enter your comments here

Wow, Becky...

February 26th, 2010
12:10 pm

…is not making soup, and is not trying to say anything other than that Becky wrote comments yesterday, then said she did not say that, then had those comments pointed out to her via cut and paste, and now she is defensive and trying to backpedal by making fun of the person(s) who pointed out her error. We all should take JJ’s advice from early this morning and just “Let it go, it’s not worth the stress”.

Jsut call me "Sybil"...

February 26th, 2010
12:12 pm

…as I have no name but many personalities…or maybe Herschel…

Just call me "Sybil"...

February 26th, 2010
12:13 pm

oops…

Jeff in Roswell

February 26th, 2010
12:18 pm

It’s interesting how you are the one that started being petty yet, you are telling others to “Let it go”. You’re the one that is stirring the pot! Hence the question of “What kind of soup are you making today?”

Did it ever occur to you that you misunderstood Becky?

Come on, admit it, that was a good one. Wasn’t it?!?!

How do you....

February 26th, 2010
12:58 pm

…misunderstand a statement that is clearly written in English, yet the writer denies that that is what she wrote? Maybe it was not what she meant to write, yet it was there to be interpreted as I did; I called her on it and she got her panties in a wad…and they seem to still be wedged up there, too…

JJ

February 26th, 2010
1:04 pm

Please don’t make me stop this car and separate you people. I wil do it. I can pull over right here, right now. I’m getting tired of this petty bickering. Let’s move on people……

FCM

February 26th, 2010
1:11 pm

@Becky your right.

@ Lisa Hindsight can be 20/20. If your marriage is great, well then count your Blessings.

I state what I feel or think. I don’t force anyone else to accept it as Gospel. I don’t force anyone to read it. Sometimes I go deeper than I mean, somtimes I don’t explain it well enough. However, like most people out here, if I bother to answer someone directly, it is because I care.

Otherwise I am just here to enjoy the ride. Life is to short to get wrapped up in somthing as stupid as the petty comments some make in a blog response.

penguinmom

February 26th, 2010
1:24 pm

@JJ LOL! Please, please stop the car!

catlady

February 26th, 2010
1:28 pm

JATL–I missed your answer. Does he have problems planning for things he is invested in (like a family vacation, or a ballgame, or a golf date, or a drink with the boys)? Or is it a subtle resistance to things important to other people?

Jeff

February 26th, 2010
1:31 pm

Happy happy joy joy. New topic please!

FCM

February 26th, 2010
1:36 pm

NEW TOPIC: What are the great plans for the families/parents/ etc for the weekend?

FCM

February 26th, 2010
1:37 pm

oh and we do NOT want to know who planned them. ;)

TechMom

February 26th, 2010
1:39 pm

@Jeff- I’m with you… these past couple of days have have been downer topics; my husband and kid have no manners AND my husband doesn’t plan ANYTHING except the next batch of beer he’s going to brew. What a depressing week.

JJ

February 26th, 2010
1:46 pm

FCM – I’m going shopping with my Mom tomorrow, and Sunday is for house/yard work……hopefully the weather will be nice enough to get outside and get more prep work done in the garden……

AND I’m planning a trip to Nashville (in April) with a friend from High School, who lives in Kansas. I think we may get to stay at the Opryland Hotel!!!!! She is a travel agent, so she can get us a great rate!!!!!

Lisa

February 26th, 2010
1:47 pm

ANYWAY, calling my 3 posts negative? Hardly!

The post on FCM was negative.

The post on the 7:18 poster wasn’t negative, it was taking up for another poster who was attacked.

The post on Theresa was inquiring about her family. She’s still not on here and I was asking if her kids were alright (not that the rest of you would care since you skipped right over the fact she should have posted a couple more times yesterday and something stopped her).

So there. I DRIVE THE CAR!

FCM

February 26th, 2010
1:52 pm

JJ that sounds great! I went the Opry Hotel and show a few years back. You’ll love that.

I am hoping the weather is nice too. Tonight I am working with the eldest’s soccer team. So we are back in the thick of things on the weekends–will be fun when I juggle an exam and a soccer game on the same day! Tomorrow, if it is nice probably hit Stone Mountain. We haven’t been since October. A good hike up sounds like a great way to clear the residual (like from the blog topics) out of my head!

Becky

February 26th, 2010
1:54 pm

Ok, I give..You read what you wanted to read, not what I wrote..So, you are the one that is 100% right..Does this make you feel better? Oh and by the way, you can’t get your panties in a wad if you don’t have any on..Thank you for your concern..

Hope everyone has a great weekend..

FCM

February 26th, 2010
1:57 pm

Well there is something to talk about….Becky went commando

Wayne

February 26th, 2010
2:07 pm

[sigh] Becky. Commando.

Made my weekend.

I’m working one day, if I can dig out from all the snow. Got ~15″ Wednesday, and I’m supposed to get another 6-12″ between today and tomorrow. [another sigh]

Then, I’m taking down my 125 gallon aquarium because it takes up to much room!

Jeff

February 26th, 2010
2:20 pm

Nice, no panties. Because they are all dirty (gross) or becuase you just wanted to feel free (interesting). :)

Dave

February 26th, 2010
2:28 pm

Becky – I don’t believe you. We need pics.

Jeff

February 26th, 2010
2:28 pm

I am taking my valentine’s daughter to see family this weekend. My sister is preggos with her third, parents meeting us there. All the crazy stuff, but it will be fun.

Hey, Becky...

February 26th, 2010
2:31 pm

…how’s that blue jean camel toe feel?

Jane

February 26th, 2010
2:33 pm

@Hey, Becky… – trust me, it can feel great. Hmmm, I gotta go

JJ

February 26th, 2010
2:44 pm

Have a good time Jeff.

Michelle

February 26th, 2010
2:54 pm

FCM, not much here. I’m going to try to make some Scooby Doo pillow cases and a blanket for the boy. He was upset that I was making a blanket for a baby shower, but not for him! Keep in mind, I did make him a knotted blanket, he just doesn’t like it! LOL! So, we went to the store and picked out what he would like! That is my primary goal before Sunday night ends! And, in case anyone wonders, I am not a great seamstress! I can make a few VERY simple things that pretty much only require straight lined sewing!

My hubby will also be off this weekend and one of the kids is going to be home from college. I imagine it will just be a relaxing weekend! I’m hoping that with the hubby and kid home from college the Christmas gear can FINALLY make it up into the attic!!! I am SICK of looking at it!

I’m also hoping to fit in a little reading time. I just got a new book yesterday!

JJ

February 26th, 2010
3:08 pm

Michelle – what are you reading? Have you ever read Jodi Picoult?

Michelle

February 26th, 2010
3:20 pm

I have read one of her books (don’t remember which one though). I have seen a couple and keep telling myself I’m going to read them, and I always forget!

I typically read Nora Roberts writing as J.D. Robb (which is what I’m getting ready to read now). I enjoy a good mystery…ok and romance! I also like Robert Patterson. My favorite, though, is Patricia Cornwell. She writes the medical mysterys. Since I am in the medical field, I can relate to many of the things she talks about (and I have several family members who are in law enforcement!)

Becky

February 26th, 2010
3:22 pm

@Wayne..Are you one of the folks without power?

@Jeff..Have a bodysuit on, so didn’t feel the need for them today..Congrats to your sister on the new baby..Hope that you and your daughter have a wonderful time together..

@Jane..Thanks for that..:)

Michelle

February 26th, 2010
3:22 pm

JJ…I remember…it was “Change of Heart”. I liked it, but I found it a little predictable. I enjoy reading though, so it was ok! I could read all day! I would rather read a book than watch TV. I LOVE it! :o)

Wayne

February 26th, 2010
3:31 pm

Thankfully, we still have power. We did lose cable TV/internet for a while on Wednesday.

When I first moved to my current house, I bought a generator so I’m not that concerned if the power goes out. I’ve used it several times since I moved there 6.5 years ago! It’s a great thing to have, lemme tell ya. Especially if you have a well!

With this storm coming tonight, I’ve got a feeling we’ll lose it.

FCM

February 26th, 2010
3:37 pm

Which JD Robb/When did it come out? MMMMMMMMMM Dallas is one lucky lady with Roarke at her side.

Been hard to find good reading material lately. I cannot find any new authors that capture my senses.

WEB Griffin-got boring
Michael Crichton – died
Nicholas Sparks – hmmmm just not in the mood
gave up bodice rippers ages ago (except The Nora)
JD Robb – unless the one you have is new read them all
The Nora – predictable and again not in the mood

I need a good Griffin/Chriton/Baldacci type writer. OOOOOO maybe Baldacci has a new one out!

JJ

February 26th, 2010
3:41 pm

Michelle – I read Nineteen Minutes (will make you think about your relationship with your children), kinda sad……..and I just finished “The Pact”, that was sad too……..her books capture you and hold you page after page. But some of her stuff is just too sad. My Sister’s Keeper was THE saddest book I ever read.

I LOVE James Patterson and have read just about everything he has written.

Did anyone ever read “Boom” by Tom Browkaw? Fascinating book about the 60’s.

JJ

February 26th, 2010
3:42 pm

Wayne – stay warm!!!!!!

Ya’ll have a great weekend – I’m out!!!!

Michelle

February 26th, 2010
3:53 pm

FCM…”Fantasy in Death”! I’d like to have a man like Roarke for sure!! Oh, except for the long hair. I like a nice short cropped haircut!!

You might like Patricia Cornwell. Start from the beginning of her “Kay Scarpetta” novels. I’ve enjoyed them for years (even before becoming a nurse!)

Jonathan Kellerman is “ok”. I’ve read a few of his books.

I don’t think I’ve read Balducci. I might have to try them out!

JJ-I know you don’t want me to cry all weekend!! I am such a sucker! My heartstrings are easily plucked! If it was sad, I’m sure to shed a few tears! I read Nicholas Sparks’ book “The Guardian” and cried like a baby (I love dogs too!)

Oh, a cute book (if you like animals) is “Tell Me Where it Hurts?” It was written by a vet. I don’t usually read those kinds of books, but I really enjoyed it!

Becky

February 26th, 2010
4:24 pm

Michelle, have you ever read anything by Harlan Coben or Lisa Gardner? I like both of their books..

FCM

February 26th, 2010
4:34 pm

HOT DA^%

Michelle thank you!!!! That book just released 2/23 so I haven’t read it. Guess we go to the book store on the way home from soccer!

Michelle

February 26th, 2010
4:39 pm

FCM…LOL! I’m hoping to start it tonight!

Becky, I have not read either of those authors. I may have to look some up at the library! I need to return a few books anyway!! What type of books do they write?

FCM

February 26th, 2010
4:40 pm

Balducci is Grishim only MUCH better. Politics in DC. Brad Meltzer is ok, lacks the polish of Balducci. Grishim is tired–I stopped reading him years ago.

Roarke can have the pony tail that doesn’t bother me. It um, could uh…well sometimes a handle is a good thing!

Then again short hair works too!

Becky

February 26th, 2010
4:57 pm

They are both mystery..She’s more to the FBI type..He is more thriller type..I’ve read quiet a few of hers, not so many of his..Some others that you might want to try..

Sandra Brown–mystery/romance
Mirah Stewart– ” ”
Lee Childs–Rouge government
Tom Perrotta–just bought his book
Tim Green (former Falcon)mystery
Karin Slaughter–thriller

fk

February 26th, 2010
5:45 pm

Try reading Nelson DeMille – my fav. I’ve read Harlan Coben, Balducci, Patterson, Cornwell.

The truth

February 27th, 2010
2:20 am

My guess is that this pair of prudes quit giving up the pootenanny about 5 years ago. So much for those great gifts…husbands got to give those to their girlfriends.

catlady

February 27th, 2010
6:50 pm

Hope you are okay, Teresa!

uconn

February 27th, 2010
10:10 pm

HELLO ALL….. FYI…. I am a married woman now… :D we had a BLAST on Friday and I couldn’t be happier to be married and to share with all of you… And Tiger … The open bar was a hit!

*exasperated sigh*

February 28th, 2010
10:54 am

Summary: Husbands used to give gifts. They don’t anymore. The wives, of course, are perfect and haven’t changed at all in all this time. So why did the husbands change for the worse? Must be that all men are awful.

If men had any money after marriage

February 28th, 2010
10:58 am

I find I can’t plan ahead because my wife gets us into numerous financial problems due to her and her family’s piss-poor ability to manage money. On top of that I’m the house maid, I never have any money to my own (she gets plenty and gets mad when I ask what she spends it on, since she hides it), and my wife doesn’t even attempt to look attractive or have sex anymore.

You tell me…what’s our problem?

sniff...sniff

February 28th, 2010
11:02 am

WOW…. that JATL sounds like a gem! Maybe I should lose the wife and track her down. Sounds like JATL’s marital issues are WAY deeper than, “honey, why won’t you buy me that sparkly rock…”

Angela

February 28th, 2010
11:08 am

I didn’t read all the comments….

I would never expect a gift from my husband. He provides me so much for the whole year that a simple card and happy birthday are perfect! Maybe the folks who are upset with the lack of gift planning should just be thankful for what they have, instead of hoping they get what they want.

Men Still Rule

February 28th, 2010
11:53 am

Can women do anything besides sit around and think of new ways to bask men? Pathetic.

Men Still Rule

February 28th, 2010
11:55 am

Typo there: bask = trash. I’m sure they will jump on me for that too.

Carolyn

February 28th, 2010
12:32 pm

I must say, that some men don’t think women birthdays are that important to us. Men need to understand that most women look at their birthdays as national holidays. Therefore, men don’t plan well enough, like women do on their birthdays. We as women need for our husbands to step up the the plate and recognize the importants of certain dates in our lives (birthdays, mother’s day, etc.). It’s not like we don’t tell them how important it is. NO EXCUSE, JUST PLAN.
Carolyn

Chris Broe

February 28th, 2010
3:52 pm

I remember only the good parts of my marriage, but I know we needed an umpire. Funny how the bad stuff fades quick, but just having someone around for 27 years is a gas, even if maybe it could have been better. My late wife spent too much time in the bathroom. Spent too much on groceries. Was bullheaded, mean, stronger than me, smarter than me, funnier than me, and a thousand times better artist than me, but somehow the marriage worked. .

We once went to a marriage therapist for a series of meetings in 1990. It took thousands of dollars, emotional bloodletting, wrung-out tears and yards of psych-analysis to find out that I wasn’t completely over the Milli-Vanilli thing yet.

My wife had this annoying habit of reading the newspaper before me and then blabbing all the really big news like she thought she was Connie Chung or something, while I was trying to read it over coffee. “Macy’s having a One Day Sale”, she’d scoop.

The Seinfeld Show looks very promising. Truth is 1000X funnier than fiction.

Harder than I thought...

February 28th, 2010
5:04 pm

It’s tough that is for sure.

SurfLover

February 28th, 2010
6:09 pm

Was married for 24 yrs., dated her for 3 yrs. before that. Now divorced, single and it couldn’t be better. If I want to see a movie, I go. No discussion, no hemmiing and hawing over what to see, what time to go. If I decide to stay and see a second movie it ain’t the biggest decision since D-Day. If I want to cook, I do. If I want to order takeout I do. If I want to eat out I do. All simple, quick decisions without hours of input, contrasts, comparisons, pros and cons. If I don’t want to eat until 11pm, no big crisis about dinner being ready at a certain time. If I feel like cleaning the house I do, if I don’t it’s no disaster on a scale with Katrina; same with the laundry, the lawn, grocery shopping and taking out the trash on a schedule that would do The US Marines proud. If I get up on Saturday and feel like taking off for the weekend I toss a bag and the dog in the car and off we go. We’ll find a motel; no reservations needed, no debate over the locale, no worries over “all the things I have planned to get done”. If I need to work overtime or on a holiday or on a weekend, there’s nobody to “clear” it with, no “plans” to change, no drama. I want to buy something, I go buy it; no dragging it out until it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Holidays and birthdays? Give the kids money. They are all over 21 and single, money works just fine. I want to smoke a cigar, I smoke one without it being a crime on a level with treason.
Haven’t had a “date” in over 2 yrs. and I miss it like I would a tumor. Divorced women who are bitter and angry and want every man they meet to “pay” for the sins of the ex. Or divorced women who are looking to recreate the situation they had before; that usually involves finding a “bill payer”. I had one tell me that “It’s obvious that you can’t support me and my children the way we’re used to”. Ummmm, I didn’t realize that I had to. Widows who have created a shrine to the “dearly departed sainted one”. And in one memorable case, a woman who would never let me near her house, who would always meet me at the restaurant or wherever, and who after 4 such dates admitted that she was married with 3 kids still at home, had no intention of getting divorced but liked to have “fun”. She also stated that she was also “dating” her doctor and her personal trainer. I have horror stories that would keep Stephen King up at nite.
Why the divorce? She announced that she had met her “soulmate” on-line and was moving 2 states away to live with him. We sold the house, split the proceeds and everything else right down the middle and off she went. They’re married and the kids tell me that all she does is gripe and complain about him. Be careful what you wish for, you just might get it.
I fully support gay marriage. Why shouldn’t they be just as miserable as the majority of straight, married couples? And the first ones that have to hire divorce lawyers and spend time in court will find out just how “glamorous” it all is.

"SwiperNoSwipingOhMaaaaan!"

February 28th, 2010
9:20 pm

As has been pointed out already, people have largely been conditioned their whole lives to see birthdays as one of the single most important days of any given year. When your significant other forgets or doesn’t make much of an effort (regardless of the budget) – it can be interpreted as they don’t care enough….no matter how much they demonstrate their commitment in other areas. Lasting healthy marriages are difficult enough even without flirting with attitudes and behaviors that undermine it further and make it easier for people to become emotionally uninvested.

Also…the avoidance of conflict is the number one predictor of ddivorce so it’s important to reduce and eliminate the causes of conflict.

Lisa

March 1st, 2010
7:46 am

Sounds like SurfLover leads a pretty miserable, lonely life. He’s trying to justify how wonderful it is to be single, but you can read between the lines and see how miserable he is.

If you don’t want to be married, fine. But to be completely void of all feelings towards wanting someone to be with is pretty sad.

Jeff

March 1st, 2010
7:53 am

Carolyn, sounds like you’re mad about something personally close to you. Maybe if you eased up on the tone, he might be more willing to work with you.

And, why, pray tell, Lisa...

March 1st, 2010
7:56 am

….is that “pretty sad”? Sounds like the guy has it figured out pretty well…

Jeff

March 1st, 2010
8:06 am

wow surflover, you go boy! And Lisa, if that had been said by a woman, my guess is you would have been more “understanding”. I could be wrong about you in that regard, but statistically, I’m right.

MomsRule

March 1st, 2010
8:17 am

@SurfLover…WOW – it sounds like you’ve come across some real winners.

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
8:44 am

Morning Folks,
Here’s another one. Got a call from a coworker that his wife had given my number to a recently divorced friend of hers. Here’s how the call went:
RING, RING!
Me: Hello?
Her: Hi, this is ….., I’m a friend of ……
Me: How are you?
Her: I’m fine. Look, we might as well get this out of the way now. Do you look at porn on the internet, because if you do we have no need to meet. I just divorced my husband because he got addicted to it, and I think it’s disgusting.
Me: No, I don’t look at internet porn. After making it all day I have no reason to watch it.
Her: What! They told me you worked at . .. . .
Me: Well, that’s what we TELL people. Hey, what sites did your husband go to? Maybe you’ve seen me!
Her: Click.

And folks, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There was the one that accused me of stealing a $100 bill out of her purse. And then when she got home and found it sitting on her dresser, called to “apologize”. And the one who half way thru the dinner date told me that when her husband the Army Ranger came home from Iraq that she didn’t think she’d be able to date anymore. And the one who told me after 2 dates that her exhusband had proven to her that all men are scum and she had decided to make as many of them as miserable as possible. And the one who said that normally she’d want to spend the nite but that her Probation Officer had only given her a pass until midnite and would I sign the slip that showed she was where she told him she’d be. And of course the coworker who wanted to fix me up with her mother, “Because she really needs something to do besides drinking vodka tonics and popping Xanax all day”.
Went to the pound, got a dog and he hardly ever complains about anything.

Jeff

March 1st, 2010
8:50 am

Is this the stand-up routine in LA? I hope and pray you are not serious.

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
8:53 am

Bada boom

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
8:54 am

Jeff, I truly wish it was all just jokes. Unfortunately every single one of them is true and unembellished. Now I’m told to date “younger women”, that they haven’t developed much “baggage” yet and they just mostly want to have fun. That may be true but I’d feel like an idiot dating girls that my kids should be chasing. I’d at least like one that knows Paul McCartney was in a band before “Wings”.

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
8:55 am

The “bada boom” was NOT from me.

TechMom

March 1st, 2010
8:58 am

Theresa – you there? Everything OK? Been quiet for a few days, maybe you got a much needed weekend off? Sure hope that’s all it is.

Jeff

March 1st, 2010
9:05 am

Sorry to hear that TWG, but glad that it standard issue sickness. Was a bit worried there.

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
9:16 am

Yankees? What are you, a Viking?

JATL

March 1st, 2010
1:22 pm

For those of you who actually had something constructive to say -I thank you. The others -you seem to be split between morons who just want to flame up a board, and people who either cannot read and comprehend or are floating around in some sort of subservient cloud (Angela). I don’t think Angela and I would get along very well -her previous posts on other topics find me rolling my eyes as well.

@catlady -YES -he can plan quite well when it’s all about him! AND he used to plan well for us and for me.

I don’t think I’m insane to want a birthday gift or to have special occasions noticed and remembered. And contrary to what some of you think, I would be delighted with a poem or some event that is completely free (like planning a hike or bike ride and getting things together for it). Perhaps if he did a little better job with other things on a day-to-day basis, I wouldn’t find quite so much fault, but there are lots of issues and I still believe (and have really tried to live up to) the fact that, although people may change a bit, when you enter into a marriage you should continue to try to be the best of the best things you brought to it. I certainly have, but he has definitely gotten lazy. One of the reasons I fell in love with him was because he was SO thoughtful and treated me better than anyone else ever had, so yeah, it would still be nice to be treated that way!

SurfLover

March 1st, 2010
11:07 pm

I think it’s sad and selfish that your husband doesn’t make an effort to “do” for your birthday. It only comes once a year, it’s the same date every year. It’s not like you’re expecting him to remember and celebrate “the anniversary of the 5th time we went to The Farmers’ Market”.
There are just some dates, times and events that should never be missed, and your wife’s birthday is one of them.

S

March 10th, 2010
2:28 pm

Here is my problem. My birthday falls the day before his mothers and two days before his fathers. He always puts his families bday first. One time my mother sent me home with my bday cake. So I said lets take it to your parents and share with them in the celebration of our bday. When the family sang Happy Bday I was left out. Also comments were made about the cake being made for them. I always make special plans for my husbands bday as well as his daughter inviting his family and my family over for dinner. I clean the house not expecting his help bc it is a celebration for him. I have had to clean the house more times for his family to come over to celebrate their bday for me to be left out of the celebration. He never invites my family. I have done it all from dropping hints to talking with him about it. It hurts in a lot of ways. I have read a lot of peoples advice about this problem and they all seem to say make plans for yourself. Well I turn 35 this weekend and I have decided he is not going to ruin my celebration on my day. If I have to go do something by myself I am going. He failed on valentines when I point blank told him I want to go to dinner and a movie to celebrate and instead we had to stay home for him to watch some race.

S

March 10th, 2010
2:36 pm

Oh and I forgot to mention this. Our second date was on my bday. He made me a romantic dinner and had a table set up on his back patio. We then went and watched the sunset over the water with a bottle of wine. He did not by me a gift. He had a cupcake for desert and a balloon. That was the best bday ever. I talked to him about how awesome that was but it doesnt seem to wake him up.

‘The Marriage Umpire:’ Hubby never plans ahead!

198 comments Add your comment

About Momania: A Blog for Busy Moms

One Subscription. Total Access.

Search this blog

Recent Posts

Archives

More from the AJC

Momania Posts, By Category

Atlanta Events for Families

Two great e-books, from the Atlanta experts

All AJC blogs »

Tell us what you think about the site

Subscribe »

Customer Care »

AJC Services

Sections

Other Editions

Guides

Affiliates

Advertising

AJC Sites

Special Reports

Blogs

Opinion

Blogs

Topics

Features

Blogs

Topics

Features

Topics

Features

Features

Blogs

Topics

Features

‘The Marriage Umpire:’ Hubby never plans ahead!

198 comments Add your comment

About Momania: A Blog for Busy Moms

One Subscription. Total Access.

Search this blog

Recent Posts

Archives

More from the AJC

Momania Posts, By Category

Atlanta Events for Families

Two great e-books, from the Atlanta experts

All AJC blogs »

Tell us what you think about the site

Subscribe »

Customer Care »

AJC Services

Sections

Other Editions

Guides

Affiliates

Advertising

AJC Sites