This is our fourth round of “The Marriage Umpire.” I have two more topics we can do today. You send us your marital problem and we’ll help you solve it. (We actually do this all the time but we’re officially playing this week as we await the new show “The Marriage Ref” by Jerry Seinfeld on NBC.)
“Both my best friend and I have this issue -our husbands know our birthdays are very close to Christmas. They’re the same day every year! We both save up and budget our money long before our husband’s birthdays (even though they occur near NO major holidays), so we can get them something very nice that they actually want. However it seems (especially over the last 5 years when we’ve actually given birth to their offspring) that they are so unprepared for our birthdays that we get very little or almost nothing. Both of these men used to be GREAT gift givers, and quite honestly it’s important to me because of the thought more so than the object. I feel like I constantly plan ahead for many things -vacations, festivals, occasions and holidays that all require some planning, but he never does and it’s caused problems a number of times. I feel like this shouldn’t be something that’s just a part of his personality, but that he should start thinking ahead a little bit.”
What do you think? Do men plan less than women? Should this husband put more effort into planning ahead? What about on the gifts? Is there a point where men turn into bad gift-givers? Should he look ahead or she just accept that as part of his personality?