Let’s play ‘The Marriage Umpire!’
Coming this Sunday to NBC is a new show from Jerry Seinfeld called “The Marriage Ref.” (The show will normally air on Thursdays, but it’s a sneak preview at 10:30 p.m. this Sunday.)
The general gist of the show is that couples present their cases for something that is annoying the other one in their marriage– such as flossing your teeth in bed or having a dead pet dog stuffed in the house. A panel of celebrity judges joke about the dispute and then help decide who is right. The comedian host Tom Papa will actually make the final decision but from the commercial the focus seems to be on the panel of celebrities.
This concept isn’t actually that new to us here on the MOMania blog because for the last 5 years you guys have been playing the role of marriage ref for me and sometimes for other community members.
It is a fantastic feeling to have a third-party — and this case hundreds of people — saying you are right! (And sometimes wrong but at least you know you’re really wrong and your husband is not just crazy.)
To get us in the mood for Seinfeld’s “The Marriage Ref,” I thought it would fun to play a game we’ll call “The Marriage Umpire.”
So I’m thinking you can guys can email me your disputes. I’m afraid if you post the topic directly to the blog then they’ll be debated today and we’ll have no game show.
So email me you dispute to be discussed. We’ll pick the best ones and then debate them on the blog later this week, and then you guys can decide THE WINNER! You can email me at ajcmomania@gmail.com
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102 comments Add your comment
catlady
February 23rd, 2010
7:09 am
Does looking at the mess count as taking care of the mess? That is, does intent follow the look? Kind of the Jimmy Carter “lusting after her in my heart” question.
Does changing the oil 4x per year count the same as cooking and cleaning 365x per year? What’s the math on this one? (I mean, if you pay the oil change people $100 per year, does that equal the salary it would take to pay a housekeeper and cook?) Is there extra credit if it is hot (oil changing) or one or more children are vomiting everywhere (housekeeping)?
Dave
February 23rd, 2010
7:31 am
catlady – don’t forget to factor in his salary as landscaper!
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2010
7:31 am
catlady….LOL. I am off on two business trips and unable to keep up with things this week…shucks.
Y’all have fun!
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2010
7:37 am
@ Dave…how much do you pay a “landscaper” ( here) who gives the shrubs a MAJOR crewcut in the spring so that he will not have to mess with them again all season?
How much is a warm balanced meal sitting on the table worth: shopper, dietician ( sp?) cook, server, and clean up.
Does the end result factor in? A frozen pizza in the oven or say what we had last night:
baked chicken, noodles,carrots, broccoli, fruit salad and garlic bread. I am just thinking out loud here before I finish packing.
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
7:39 am
Cool, Theresa. This sounds fun!
Oh, and his salary as therapist in trying to figure out your emotional issues! Sorry, couldn’t help it.
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
7:46 am
Montherjane, you forgot to mention bringing home the bacon (business trip) and frying it up in the pan. Travel safe.
Dave
February 23rd, 2010
8:03 am
Jeff – his therapist cost would be HUGE!!!!
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2010
8:20 am
Quick question….Dave are you the same one whose job is so demanding that you cannot get off for a parent teacher conference and your wife is a stay at home Mom? If so, this gives me ( perhaps only me) some perspective.
Not on the plane yet….thanks Jeff for recognizing that I am making a financial contribution too…as is catlady and numerous others on this blog…in the past and in the present.
Here we go again...
February 23rd, 2010
8:30 am
…all the mom’s (whether SAHM or working mom) trying to say that their jobs at home, unpaid as they are, are the only ones that count. Dang, catlady, you already drove at least one husband away (yeah, we know, he was no good, blah, blah, friggin’ blah) – sorry if you gals got stuck with guys with whom you like to complain (especially motherjanegoose), yet you must admit that YOU made the choice – so STFU and quichyerbitchin! I am sure your fellas think they got a raw deal, too!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
8:43 am
“It is a fantastic feeling to have a third-party — and this case hundreds of people — saying you are right! (And sometimes wrong but at least you know you’re really wrong and your husband is not just crazy.)”
So we are here to validate and vendicate you? ;) (Just kidding).
I will say that spouting off about the ex-spouse (here) cost less than therapy and oddly, it has been helpful. When I wish he and the fiancee well, I mean it these days.
@ Here we go agai: I have no desire to be back with him, he made choices that put us (the kids and I) through hell, I was indeed “stuck’ dealing with all of it. You know what, I am a better woman for it. I know that I can make it on my own if I have too. That does not stop me from wanting to find someone (like the Jeff who had Valentine with his daughter) to spend the remainder of my life with, I will bring more to the table in this marriage.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
February 23rd, 2010
8:44 am
this can be any topic — such as leaving the seat up, watching too much Olympics, buying only organic, anything that irritates you — it doesn’t have to be earth shattering — just annoying.
RJ
February 23rd, 2010
8:45 am
In my experience, men tend to want it all. My husband expected me to clean the house, cook dinner, and work! I stated expected because I finally had enough. It took much too long for me to come to this conclusion because I was doing what I’d seen my mother do. I explained that I needed him to do his fair share. He needs to help clean the house. He should wash a load of laundry. Also, when I work late please drive to Publix and at least get a rotisserie chicken instead of leaving dinner to the kids. They’ll choose a frozen pizza every time. McDonald’s is even worse. He should help with projects and not leave them to me because I’m a teacher. Heck, I’m a music teacher! I don’t know any more about doing a science project than he does!
Also, men need to understand that cutting the grass is seasonal work. I don’t get a day off. Now he has begun helping with the laundry. He’ll wash a load, now we have to work on folding and putting away. As I explained, the more he helps, the more energy I have for late night activities.
Today's women
February 23rd, 2010
8:49 am
I work 40-50 hours a week as a manager of a financial firm. My wife has one of our kids in school every day except Friday, from 9-1pm, the other one in school Mon and Weds from 9-1pm. When I get home there is no dinner, only a messy house that I have to clean up. Her excuse is the kids are so hard to watch and they do not give her any time to clean or make dinner. Also when I get home she needs me to take over watching the kids to help give her a break. She sleeps in every weekend, and when I ask her to do certain things like clean up your own mess, we get into horrible fights. Alot of her friends are the same way!!! These same women will not miss the batchelor, or any other reality show that they are pretending to live in. My mother had 8 kids, and my father worked. House was always clean and dinner made. I can skip the dinner if she can just keep the house clean, am I crazy????
Jesse's Girl
February 23rd, 2010
8:57 am
Lets go ahead and clear the page for me and Jesse right now……its lengthy…funny as hell…but lengthy:)
Joel Edge
February 23rd, 2010
9:08 am
What’s annoying is the idea of this show. Celebrities making snide comments about the the flyover people. That’s original. They do it anyway, might as well make a show about it.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
February 23rd, 2010
9:10 am
JG — email it to me — you’re always soo good!! I’ve got one good one emailed to me so far — we may start this afternoon — this lady is getting married on Friday so we need to settle her dispute before then — pressure is on!!!
Yeah, RJ...
February 23rd, 2010
9:13 am
…men are the only ones who “want it all” – and in a man’s world, they learn early that life’s a beatch, then you marry one, and then you die…that is really having it all!!!!!
Becky
February 23rd, 2010
9:14 am
@RJ..My ex was the same way..His logic was that he made more money than me, therefore I needed to do everything inside the house..He paid someone to do all of the outdoor chores..He said that is what his Mother did, so I should do it..Well, guess what, my Mother didnt do things that way..
@Today’s Women..Don’t know what to tell you except put your foot down and tell her that something has to change..I would love to have that much time each day to clean and cook..No, I’m not the best housekeeper in the world, but I do keep a decent looking house..If I had that much time each day, my husband would get a 3-4 course meal every day..I love to cook..Good luck..
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2010
9:16 am
@ RJ, I’m in your world:
It took much too long for me to come to this conclusion because I was doing what I’d seen my mother do.
@ Today’s women….I have NO idea what kind of women you know.
I own my own business and tend to majority of the things inside the house: shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry.. My husband knows more about fixing the vaccuum than using it inside this house…what is a mop for anyway…can you say paper towels? He CAN fix most anything!
I have my own credit cards and pay my own bills.
I do not watch much TV, do not have time. I purchased all food ( on my dime) and left a list with dinner options while I am gone until Sunday. There are pork chops defrosting now.
I am thinking husbands like you would appreciate someone who carries their own load while bringing home a paycheck. Other husbands would have a melt down if they were the sole income and came home to your life.
Why does this seem to be a continual problem? Can it be fixed?
JJ
February 23rd, 2010
9:22 am
Well my neighbor doesn’t work. Her husband goes off every day to work. She stays home, watches soaps, goes to The Derby, and is usually drunk by the time he gets home. She will not go get a job, won’t even look for one. They are on the verge of getting evicted, yet she makes no attempt to get a job and help out. They are two months behind on their rent, but there’s pently of money for booze and cigarettes for her. And a friend of her’s is staying with them. She’s on disability. Can’t work, but can drink all day long, abuse prescription drugs and smoke cigs, and party all day long, but can’t seem to work. She is constantly bragging that she only pays $37/month rent, and $19 for a cell phone. I said, yea, guess who’s paying for the remainder of that? ME!!!!!! By going to work every day, having close to $1,500 in taxes taken out of my paycheck a month, so these two losers can stay home all day long and party.
GeoffDawg
February 23rd, 2010
9:24 am
Don’t forget to factor in live-in security guard and pest control specialist. Unless next time you want to be the one to track down that spider or investigate the strange noise.
Ben E. Jett
February 23rd, 2010
9:30 am
I think I could have used a Ref. in my first several years of marriage. We were both immature and used to getting our way. Many of our spats would end in a stalmate then over time add and grow into bigger problems. A third party could have very well proven useful. Oh well, live and learn I guess. One of my personal hundles was ridding myself of the mindset called “King of the castle.” Now I make up the bed every morning, do most of the vacuuming and often clean the bathrooms and other household chores. I don’t say that because I’m keeping score but because one day a light went off and I decided to get off my ass and do my part. My wife means alot to me and my only regret is it took too many years of marriage before I saw the light.We’ve been married 27 years now and it’s all been worth it.
motherjanegoose
February 23rd, 2010
9:35 am
Pest control is my job here….my husband cannot stand bugs and goes nuts when he sees anything creepy and crawly….I will add it to my list :) as I grew up on the farm and we even had SNAKES ( I laughed at the discussion yesterday).
JJ
February 23rd, 2010
9:44 am
EVERYTHING is my job. I do it all. I work 40 outside my home hours a week. At home, I am the cook, the maid, the landscaper, the laundry person, etc. I don’t have a spouse to complain about.
Ya’ll should be very thankful for what you have. Because this side isn’t very fun, doing it all by yourself. I would give my right arm to have the security some of you people have. I would love to have an extra income and a warm body in bed with me at night (that isn’t a dog or a cat) LOL.
Walk a mile in my shoes, and you would appreciate everything you have!!!!! So he doesn’t do the laundry………pick your battles.
Ben E. Jett
February 23rd, 2010
9:47 am
Good job JJ. We take too much for granted. Lets get off our high horse before it’s too late.
You go, JJ...
February 23rd, 2010
9:51 am
…but be careful what you wish for…you’ve been down that lane once already!!!!!
JJ
February 23rd, 2010
9:57 am
Don’t I know that!!!! I think that’s why I’ve remained single all these years.
New Stepmom
February 23rd, 2010
10:02 am
Man I need to hug and kiss my husband. We had a hard time the first few months of marriage where I worked full time and did everything in the house and it did get old. We had a come to Jesus and he did a lot better. Fast forward 6 months and I get pregnant, get put on bedrest and can do almost nothing for myself or my family and it will be that way until May. Man has he stepped up to the plate. Part of the time he was unemployed and that helped with time, but he interviewed and prepared for interviews like a full time job and still got grocery shopping done, laundry done (I can sit in bed and fold it), helped with meals etc, etc, etc. I think he now understands what I was doing on top of a 40 hour work week. I hate being on bedrest, because I feel like I am doing nothing for my family (The hubs tells me I am growing a new person and that is the best contribution, but I still feel lazy).
We are planning for me to stay at home and do project work along the way. I cannot imagine becoming a soap opera watching, bon bon eating princess because I live here too and cannot stand an out of order house and I do all of our finances, so I know what our goals are and eating out every night will mess up the financial goals we have set. @Today’s Women, you have a real gripe and need to get it worked out.
Theresa, great topic. Right now, I feel very fortunate and do not have any major gripes. The worst thing the hubs does is not sort his clothes appropriately when he puts them in the laundry sorter/hamper. I can live with that, because he lives with my quirks. If he had a stuffed dog (like on the show) we would have real issues!
TechMom
February 23rd, 2010
10:02 am
Not sure it’s worth complaining about my pet peeves; if he doesn’t care enough about what bugs me when it’s just me and him, then someone else telling him what bugs me isn’t going to change anything. I can’t see this show settling anything. It’s just going to stir the pot; give the person who ‘won’ the upper hand and make the person who ‘lost’ bitter. Maybe if it is something trivial like keeping a stuffed pet but most of the issues I think we have (and based on the comments, other people have as well) aren’t going to be solved in 10 minutes. The issue isn’t just putting the laundry away that I just washed and folded or helping the kid with his project, it’s taking responsibility to do the things that NO ONE really wants to do but still has to get done AND not keeping count of who does that more often or who has done their ‘fair share’. It’s never going to be fair or equal (and yes, I have to remind myself of that every day).
William
February 23rd, 2010
10:06 am
She’s a two headed alien. Really! She’s a twin and her sign is Gemini. I don’t know who I am talking to half the time, that’s the beauty and the hell. She, very, very successful professional. Me, gave up my career to care for her elderly parents and the house. Our house keeper, “Hazel, reincarnated” tells me what to do. My life has stopped and I live for wife. No balance due to the fact that I am unemployed 60% of the time, but live a lavish lifestyle of international cruises, fancy dining, exotic cars and international travel. I need to tell my horrible story to the world so that others can be saved from the “Professional Woman with Two Heads”. Somebody please, help me! Oh, here she comes. Gotta go.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
10:08 am
@ Today’s women Um sounds like a lazy woman too me. What was she like before you married her? Any ambition or just a bunch of talk?
@ JJ again AMEN sister. It would be nice to come home and put my head on a big strong shoulder and just breathe. I think for me it’s not that I “need” or “don’t need” a man in my life. I “want” one in my life and not to clean or do laundry. Not even for the second income (though I am not willing to get involved with a lazy lout who will not bring home a paycheck). I plain old everyday just want one in my life. You know what I mean? (I see Meryl Streep in Momma Mia saying that bit about waking up everyday thanking God she doesn’t have some middle aged man underfoo. And you know the whole time she is LYING her head off…then of course SOS queues.) I am not quite middle aged but I sure felt the sting in that one.
JJ
February 23rd, 2010
10:18 am
FCM – Amen sister!!!! I don’t NEED a man, I want a good responsible MAN who can take care of himself. Someone to talk to about my day (the dogs just don’t get it), someone to go on weekend car rides with (ok the dogs like this one….LOL), etc. A companion if you will.
A friend of mine had the best relationship…….they dated for years, and only saw each other on the weekends. And no he wasn’t married. She was raising a child by herself, so during the week, they each took care of their own business. But they were together every Friday through Sunday, and it worked for them.
RJ
February 23rd, 2010
10:27 am
I think it’s important to note that when you are in a relationship you’ve already come to the conclusion that you don’t “love” everything about that person. But once you become married and live with that person, ground rules should be set. Although my mother and mother in-law are about 21 years apart in age, they both did the same thing. Worked full time jobs, had 3 or more kids and did all of the household duties. I got tired of it and decided that my life isn’t a real life episode of Leave it to Beaver so he would need to do his fair share of “woman’s work”. With that being said, I’ve been in a relationship with the same man for all of my adult life. I love him and wouldn’t trade him for anything, but that doesn’t mean that I’ll let him have it all his way. I’m sure he has his complaints about me as well. It’s all about balance and compromise. At least he listened to me on some things. I know he won’t get it all right, but I have told him how much I appreciate him beginning to help out.
@Yeah, RJ, I can assure you that my husband wouldn’t refer to me as anything other than his wife. Sorry to hear your marriage isn’t working out. Mine is doing okay, even with all my gripes.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
10:43 am
JJ a companion with um……lots of stamina….again to quote Momma Mia (ABBA really this time) “Slightly worn but dignified and not too old for sex”.
Jesse's Girl
February 23rd, 2010
10:50 am
Ok Theresa…I messaged you.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
February 23rd, 2010
10:52 am
got it — JG!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
10:58 am
On the other hand I am only 40.
Jesse's Girl
February 23rd, 2010
11:10 am
I love me some Abba…..
julia
February 23rd, 2010
11:23 am
another reality show that I will not be watching.. It really should be hosted by Jerry Springer…. Why people put their crap on tv is way beyond me
Wayne
February 23rd, 2010
11:58 am
“Listen, honey, I have something to talk to you about. Sit down and we’ll have a nice heart to heart. Comfy? Good! I spoke to Jerry Springer and he said he’s got a show that we’ll be perfect for coming up in a couple of weeks… Whaddyathink? Should we do it?”
WTF? I can’t believe that people are that hard up that they have to go on a nationally televised show to ‘work out’ their problems. OMG. [shakes head]
Wayne
February 23rd, 2010
11:59 am
Sorry, not one to use the “F” word – at all, but this just gets my goat.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
12:49 pm
There is a simple solution–don’t tune in. If the Neilsen’s show it as a flop it will get canceled. BUT of course the American populice will tune in amd make it the next must see (like J&K+8, Bachelor, or whatever).
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
12:57 pm
I can’t believe the ratio of marital gripes vs. marital bliss in this blog. From just a 10,000 count, I think I’ve got it at 8 “my spouse sucks” vs. 1 “neutral” and 1 “I appreciate what I have”.
Based on this completely unscientific data mining….I predict the show is going to be a huge success.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
12:58 pm
Let’s discuss Easter fashion for kids. I got the girls their dresses today. Now when I was married he would roll his eyes an say “do they really need a new dress?’ So I got one a very cute hot pink and white plaid sundress (cotton) with white bolero (knit) at Walmart. I agreed that 10+ the “cute” factor should give way to her emerging “grown” look. So I spent an hour or so scouting out the online versions of local stores. Totally cute dresses.
This got us talking at work. A good many dresses sport a crinoline look (poof) and pastel, pin tuck etc. Great for easter but not days later.
Others looked too “grown” for me. I mean what is with all the black evening gown type stuff for spring…these are still girls not teens or older!
So I found a dress I could live with–that she will probably like. I admit it is more “grown” (I think I saw a coctail dress like this a few years ago) than I would have first thought I would pick. It has 1.5″ wide sundress style straps, a chiffon flow pleated skirt, empire waist with rhinestones. She will wear this with a white lace bolero sweater. It is in coral, red and hot pink mix color. Which will look fab on her.
So again we discussed it at the office. They remember pastel, flowers, crinoline etc.
What today is a good fashion for young girl trying to bridge the gap? Just curious as you know in the end I will parent as I will parent. (The photos are going to be so good!)
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
12:58 pm
whoops…I meant ” a 10,000 ft view count”
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:05 pm
@ Tiger…of course it is. Look at um…Springer, Divorce Court, etc…people lap this stuff up!
julia
February 23rd, 2010
1:05 pm
FCM, how tall is she and what size is she?? Dress Barn has some VERY cute dresses and some are rather conservative :) They do have a petite section :)
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
1:07 pm
Yeah but this Springer for the thinking man….look at how much those folks are going to have in common with people in this blog alone!
New Stepmom
February 23rd, 2010
1:10 pm
@FCM…man that is tough. I have the same conflicts dressing my step daughter. I have found that winter clothes are MUCH easier to find for this age than spring/summer. I think what you got is great. I am VERY traditional and dressy for church and I want to find stuff for my step daughter that is traditional and dressy.
I got my step daughter (9yo at the time) a sundress last year that looked like a slightly younger version of something I might wear. It was polished cotton and had a less defined waist and instead of spaghetti straps or strapless for an adult it was tank style at the top. It did have crenoline, but I cut it out with no problem. When I showed her a couple of things I had that were similar, she loved it. I also got it big so she will be able to wear it this year too. So that is one way to go with the “crenoline” look and make it more appealing.
I find that Target has the best “tween” dress clothes. I have also found a line that is more expensive called Chez Ami (online and home parties). I can justify spending a little more for their clothes because they are extremely well made and I get stuff big enough for two seasons. Also, if you have 2 girls, they can be hand me downs.
Good luck and let me know if you have any helpful hints for dressing this aged girl.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:11 pm
She is tiny! She is 54 inches and about the same in weight. Size 3 shoe though…huge feet on both my kids. :)
She is still in the 7-16 Girls range. I actually like the dress I got her. The comment was made “Your a nicer Momma than mine was! She always dressed in pastel, flowers, gloves and hats.” Even I was not made to wear that at 10. My dress that year (and yes I still remember it vividly because it was my first “grown” dress) was a pastel blue with hot color flower sprigs (tiny) all over it…A line skirt style, elastic at the natural waist, sundress (1-1.5″ strap) style with matching jacket. Kick pleat in the back. Man I thought I was the $hit…ROFL, wore it with a pair of wedge jute sandals. Candies were popular then too (even for girls) but my mom thought they would ruin my feet.
This dress has a whisper (chiffon) of being “adult” while having no shape what so ever (which is good because she doesn’t either).
We could also discuss if you can be 10 not having your cycle yet and still be PMS mode. I wanted to give her Midol or something for the mood swing this weekend.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:14 pm
Oh I meant my co-worker was in the pastel “bridal” styles I was describing earlier.
My child does’t look good in pastel. They warm hot to warm colors…like that pretty money green color out right now.
New Stepmom
February 23rd, 2010
1:16 pm
@Tiger, I hope I am the one that is counted and thankful for what I have. I waited until I was 34 to marry and I got extremely lucky. Again there are things that drive me a little nuts, but I drive him nuts too at times. That is just part of it.
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
1:16 pm
Thank you JJ. Although the I don’t need a man argument is played out, it’s played out by the sassy crowd and that doesn’t seem to apply to you.
Meeting good people is difficult in all walks of life, not just in the dating scene. Think about it. How many good people do you actually know? And family doesn’t count.
New Stepmom
February 23rd, 2010
1:19 pm
@FCM…glad the hormone monster is not just hitting our house. I think your summation of “Whisper of Adult with no shape whatsoever” is perfect. That is what I look for too and it is difficult to find!
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
1:21 pm
FCM – I’ve given Theresa permission to give you my email if you want it.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
1:23 pm
@New Stepmom…you are that beacon of hope and the one I found reflecting the same things I think about my better half! Good Job NW…now lets watch that show and laugh our butts off at those poor saps who think that conflict and complaining about their significant others is just the way marriage is! I think many will watch the show and find identification and think they’re not alone and use the “panel’s” as vindication…for me, it’s all schadenfreude baby!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:26 pm
New Mom & Julia (or anyone else) — if you go to Sears (I got it at Dillards but cannot find it online) and look at the My Michelle Sleeveless Mesh Overlay with Jewel Waist…that is the closest to what I got. Her dress is not the blue pictured (it is pink) and the waist is rectangle hot pink gems but it is a My Michelle with that “shape”.
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:26 pm
er I mean New StepMom
Becky
February 23rd, 2010
1:30 pm
@Tiger..I hit the jackpot with my second husband..Yes, there are some things that he does that drive me batty, but I wouldn’t trade him for anything..As for the ex, to this day, he still tells me and everyone else that he wished he had of never divorced me, this is after 16 years..
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
1:33 pm
@Becky…then I revise my count! I think there are some people who could do themselves a favor by following your lead and dropping the bad and finding a good! ;-)
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:41 pm
Tiger I was looking for the good but you keep saying your married! ;)
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
1:47 pm
@FCM….well you’re just making me blush here!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
1:58 pm
TY Jeff… I will get with her. I like that your a Dad that cares.
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
2:09 pm
Well I am the one getting married on Friday and yes I do have gripes with the Husband to be …. I wouldn’t change him for ANYTHING… There is one area that I sent Theresa because it just happened last night!!!! But I am excited to be marrying him… :D
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
2:12 pm
@UConn….hey, you’ve been gone a while! Welcome back and congrats!
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
2:22 pm
@Tiger …. Thanks!!! Planning this wedding (that and watching Uconn basketball) was taking me away but now its all done and just have to wait for Friday at 630pm ….
Becky
February 23rd, 2010
2:28 pm
@Uconn..I’m sure that he’s getting a good deal also..Congrats..
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
2:33 pm
@Uconn…well hopefully they’ll be showing coverage of the NIT on your honeymoon!!! HAHAHA
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
2:44 pm
@Becky … Thanks! @Tiger… watch it! :D We are back in it (for now!)
Wayne
February 23rd, 2010
2:47 pm
@Uconn; are you in CT or GA?
Jane
February 23rd, 2010
2:49 pm
Wow, MILF Hunter would be having a field day in here (if he hadn’t disappeared)!
DB
February 23rd, 2010
3:26 pm
I never complain about my husband because if I did, it would open the floodgates on complaints about ME! But honestly, not too many complaints — he’s just about perfect, at least, on things that I care about.
LM
February 23rd, 2010
3:34 pm
I was in JJ’s shoes, been there done that got the t-shirt and worn it out!
But I found the perfect man. Don’t get me wrong he does stuff others on here seem feel is a “deal breaker”. So what if he leaves the toilet seat up, I know how to put it down. He is what I always thought a “man” was, caring, supportive, hard working, loving, helpful and kind. He is good company and cares as much for my interest as for his.
I miss him and look forward to when he can leave the toilet seat up, forget to put his dishes in the sink, smack his gum, drop his drawers and all the things many on here feel are “deal breakers”. Until he is safe home I will miss all the little quiks, most of all his snoring and pray for him.
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
3:40 pm
LM, you provide many of us single dads with smiles knowing there are still good women out there. Thanks
JJ
February 23rd, 2010
3:44 pm
LM – Sweet!!!!!!
Jeff, there’s a lot of us out there!!!!!! Keep the smiles.
Dar
February 23rd, 2010
3:44 pm
Happiness is not in finding a perfect person, but rather in loving an imperfect person perfectly. I left my first X because I was young and foolish. My second X left me because we had both (to different degrees, trust me) lost sight of what was really important and he did not want to work at getting it back and I honestly believe now that his heart was never really in it to begin with because he is just way too selfish for a wife and child. The man I found after all of that is imperfectly perfect and I love him perfectly and vice versa. He is all of the things a man should be – loving (to me and my child), hard working, smart, witty, supportive, kind, courteous….Oh, I could go on and on. I hope that we are showing my child what a good relationship looks like. And I hope that my son sees the things in my mate that are wonderful and chooses to emulate those things instead of growing up to be anything like his father.
LM
February 23rd, 2010
3:55 pm
Jeff, there are a lot of good men and women out there. It is so easy to find fault, so easy to run when it gets rough, I’ve did that too. So easy to think you have it so rough and nit-pick little things.
This year has been very hard with him away. I was used to being a single mom, I could do what I felt was important. When he had to go, we got married and I learned first hand that I had to take on his responsibilites, wow did he have a lot and I was not as prepared to do it all as I thought I would be. It has also made me appreciate what he did around the place. Right before he left he got two new toilets, but didn’t have time to install them. I could have either let them sit on the back porch or install them myself, I installed them and feel a sense of pride if it. We have 7 horses which he normally cares for, am alergic to hay and shattered my right shoulder two years ago when I was trampled, I cope, I put out hay, carry bags of feed and do my best, not as good of a job as he would do, but I cope. My teenager noticed how much more I was doing and finally realized he just didn’t sit around and watch TV and played games on his computer. Maybe she will learn to appreciate the “man” in her life when the time comes, instead of fault finding.
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
3:56 pm
@Wayne I am in GA but I grew up in CT and went to Uconn…
dixie pixie
February 23rd, 2010
3:59 pm
I feel for all the women (and yes I am female) who do not understand the treasures they have in their husbands. My husband is certified OC, and I love him for it. He wants the bed made everyday , the house vacuumed, and the toilets cleaned. . .and he does it! He doesn’t complain about what I cook. I see my husband as truly unique and love coming home to him. BTW, he works 4 12-hour shifts and still manages to help around the house. Guys–just one little thing (putting your clothes in the hamper instead of the floor, putting the lid down, taking out the garbage, offering to give one of the kids a bath, setting the table–just pick ONE!!!)will make a HUGE difference in the significant other’s attitude. Everyone needs to read the book FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES. IT WORKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wayne
February 23rd, 2010
4:06 pm
Ah… wondering if you were getting hammered with the snow.
Wayne
February 23rd, 2010
4:11 pm
That would be if you were in CT… I’m outa here to see if I can make it home. Wife says it’s really bad out my way. See y’all!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
4:12 pm
dixie pixie–I love the 5 love languages book (found it after the divorce). It works on kids too!!!
The most important thing I think a person can do is tell the important people in their life (spouse, child, etc) “THANK YOU. Thank you for being a part of my life.” I have done that.
Jeff, that is a two edged blade. I know several “men” who ran away from their children as much as they did their wives. They would do day labor or just quit working so as to not have to pay the support. That is just wrong. They give good Dads (like you apparently) a bad name. Just like the stero-typical ex-wife (the money grubbing witches) give the good ones a bad name.
mom2alex&max
February 23rd, 2010
4:31 pm
I’ve noticed SOOO many arguments revolve around housework. ugh. That was us for like the first 5 years we were married. One day, I just said: out of MY (admittedly measly compared to his) earnings I will pay someone to come here and clean every other week. I found a lady that does an awesome job for what I consider a reasonable prize.
I think that those $120 bucks I spend every month have saved our marriage..and think of it, how much cheaper is that than marriage counseling?
New Stepmom
February 23rd, 2010
4:35 pm
Uconn-Congrats and enjoy every minute of it. We were so fortunate to have no planning stress (very cool parents who remembered it was our wedding) and have the best memories! Something little will go worng, but shrug it off. No one will know but you and possilby your mom and wedding coordinator.
Jeff, I married one of those single dads and it is challenging at times, but totally worth it. Your princess will come!
Tiger…glad I could be your beacon of hope for the first part of today. The hubs is not perfect, but neither am I. We have seen promos for this show and we think it looks hysterical!!!!
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
5:01 pm
@newstepmom … Thanks!!! I can’t wait! I am like you.. Almost 34 when I am getting married! Best decision to WAIT …. way more mature now than back in my 20’s
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
5:12 pm
Uconn I wish you and your fiancee the best! If you go back a few blogs ago you will see what I wrote about my parents. Married 40+ years and when they think you aren’t looking you can sometimes see just how much they mean to each other. I meant it when I said we should all be so lucky–Here is hoping you get that luck too!
FCM
February 23rd, 2010
5:14 pm
super bowl ad blog…pg 3 if you actually want to see what I wrote about my folks.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
5:19 pm
@Uconn….it’s not too late to get your security deposit back for the wedding and spend it all on the honeymoon! ELOPE sugar!!!!
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
5:27 pm
@FCM … I read it… I thought that it was SO sweet…. Thanks for the warm wishes
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
5:28 pm
@Tiger … I wish I could … But the moms would have our heads!!! BELIEVE Me that was our first thought!
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
5:31 pm
@uconn….that is the advice our son will be getting from his mother and me. :-) Well since you have to have it, have fun!
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
5:33 pm
@Tiger … LOL!!! Good and sound advice…. But we will have fun… Open bars seem to have that effect ;-)
Jeff
February 23rd, 2010
5:34 pm
So much sweetness on here. What are ya’ll up to?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
February 23rd, 2010
5:36 pm
@Uconn…open bar!?! Where are you registered and the table for my gift?!?
Uconn
February 23rd, 2010
5:37 pm
@Tiger LOL … I have been getting that response from a lot of people
catlady
February 23rd, 2010
6:06 pm
Dave@7:30: he let me do the mowing and garden, but he would start the mower and tiller for me. He was “tired”. BTW, I worked 8 hours a day and made 3x what he did, so the money thing wasn’t part of the equation. I got tired of a 4th “child.”
I have loved watching his second marriage. She is even lazier than he is!
If I ever remarried, it would have to be a more 50-50 relationship.
Dar
February 23rd, 2010
6:45 pm
LOL CatLady. I could be staring in a mirror…except I made almost 5x what my X did. The woman he was running around with was everything I was not – out of shape, uneducated, unemployed — and someone else’s wife and a mother of three and she did not leap when my X did. Anyway, when I let him bend my ear nowadays my X goes on an on about how tough his life is now that he has to clean his apartment, do his laundry, eat out every meal because he can’t/won’t cook, work extra to try to have even a smidge of the life he had with me, etc. And I was blessed to meet a wonderful man who was also cast aside…….two unwanteds make an awesome pair.
Jesse's Girl
February 23rd, 2010
10:10 pm
I think my new job should be a singing match-maker….cause Catlady..I think I have a good candidate for you.
deidre_NC
February 24th, 2010
8:34 am
amen JJ..once again you said what i feel…
deidre_NC
February 24th, 2010
8:43 am
also amen to FCM–id love to have a responsible man to share my life with. my kids say i never will because i am too picky, but some scars stay there and its not something i can help. i met a guy recently (introduced thru a friend) and i knew he was on unemployment, around here the job situation is as bad or worse than anywhere. so i decided that since he didnt have a job i had to relax that must have-but i replaced it with how he was conducting his job search. i asked in conversation where he had looked for a new job and how it was going…and he said..i havent looked, im just going to keep drawing unemployent. (big eye roll here!!! lol) so needless to say that was the first and last time i saw him…i mean really….who wants to live on unemployment forever? and who can afford it. he had even had to move in with family because of the loss of income. i can understand all those things in this market….god knows i was laid off for 9 months….but i looked for a job and went on every interview i could get…
Alecia
February 24th, 2010
9:02 am
I have been happily married for 13yrs. Yes, there are things that annoy me and hubby does have faults. However, we have both learned to adapt and overcome. The marriage has to work, because I could never imagine my world with a different guy.
Best Treatment For Snoring
March 3rd, 2010
12:05 am
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