One of our community members sent me a note this week. She’s in a quandary and wanted to get some opinions. She’s pregnant with her second child and is already thinking about a third. Here’s why in her own words:
“ I’m expecting my second child in May. Another boy.
My husband and I always said we would just have 2 children and be happy that they are healthy.
BUT, I’m finding myself overwhelmed with a desire to have a girl. Not that I’m delusional and think that having another child will get me a female, but I’m surprised at how much I want to try.
I’m also feeling pretty guilty about it and trying to be excited about my two boys. I’ve heard 3-4 is so much harder than 2.
Should we stop because we agreed on two in the beginning? We can afford it and my husband would probably do it if I said I wanted to try again.
Is it worth it? Why do I feel like our family is not complete until we get that girl?
I’ll admit how selfish this sounds and I’m sure some of your bloggers will blast me for it.
I’m hoping that the rest might give me some perspective. I’m thrilled to have two healthy children, I just wonder if we should try again.”
I’m fascinated by this question because it’s not about feeling done and wanting a larger family. It’s about wanting a certain sex that you haven’t had yet. You see families all the time with four or five boys and then finally a little girl.
I definitely did not feel done after my second but I also had a boy and girl. So my feeling was more about wanting more kids not a certain sex.
What have you guys experienced? Would you have more kids just to get the sex of a child you desire? Did you have any issues with the other kids knowing you were trying for the opposite sex? Is it just as valid to want a boy or a girl as it is to want more kids in general? What is your advice for this mom? Is it worth going for a third to get a baby girl? Do you think her pregnancy hormones are playing with her head or will she feel the same after she gives birth to her second?
I posted last night a blog linking to a Q&A on crib safety. If you have questions about the massive crib recall please check out the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s Q&A about crib safety. They have photos to help explain the problems with the cribs and the new requirements for cribs.
P.S. My little guy has a high fever so I’ll be in and out on the conversation today while I take care of him.