Duggars: Should medical issues mean no more kids?

(AP Photo)

(AP Photo)

Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar surprised a lot of people when they recently told People magazine they are still open to having more kids despite their most recent baby – their 19th child – being born more than three months early and struggling to live with multiple medical issues. (This particular article is not featured online, but here is the most recent story about the Duggars on People.com.)

Mom Michelle had preeclampsia, pregnancy induced high-blood pressure, and the baby girl had to be taken by C-section in December.

Jim Bob and Michelle talk frequently about why they want to have as many kids as the Lord will give them. (The story is on their Web site.)

Michelle miscarried after she conceived on birth control pills. The doctors felt the miscarriage was because of the pills. At that point they decided to they shouldn’t use contraceptives and be open to how ever many kids they conceive whenever they conceive.

Doctors in the People article suggest that the preeclampsia could be a problem in any future pregnancies and additional health problems could arise as Michelle is 43.

People did have some interesting quotes on having multiple babies that I had never heard before:

“ ‘The risks of additional pregnancies tart to go up dramatically after four,’ warns Dr. Jeffrey Richardson,a Ventura, Calif., obstetrician who had practiced for more than 30 years.”

“ ‘Postpartum hemorrhage, dysfunctional labor, preterm labor and early miscarriage are all risks.’ ”

The article says the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists says pregnancies should be spaced out at least 18 months. (I think Rose was 16 months old when I got pregnant with Walsh.)

The article also reported that based on the Bible, The Duggars abstain from sex 40 days after having a boy and 80 days after having a girl.

The Duggars say in People: “Each child is a gift from God.”  Jim Bob adds, “The negatives don’t bother us.” Agrees Michelle: “Our hearts haven’t changed.”

There are many faiths that for many reasons preach that parents need to always be open to conception and there are loads of reasons why people think having as many kids as you can conceive in a lifetime is excessive, but I really want to focus on the medical issues alone.

At what point do medical factors override that openness to having children? At what point does Mom’s health or baby’s potential health change being open to conceiving any time you are having sex?

277 comments Add your comment

Wounded Warrior

February 10th, 2010
7:08 pm

@catlady. Clayton Co. Schools didn’t teach me to reread before hitting the send button. Pray tell, what else are we folks lacking??????????

motherjanegoose

February 10th, 2010
7:09 pm

I think catlady has a different experience with children whose families are quite large and since she is also an educator. she perhaps recognizes that good parenting is not just about being able to birth/ afford a bucket full of children or even providing clothes or a roof over their heads.

Families live in their own worlds and children grow up ( perhaps) thinking that the entire world is the way their family is.

My children are used to going to church, eating dinner on matching dishes at the dinner table, having a dog who is groomed and sleeps in the bed with us. They do not know a Father who has lost his job ( thankfully) , a vacation house at the beach or in the mountains ( that we can visit several weekends each month) or even grandparents they know and see more than once every few years ( sad but true). This is just us. Every family is different.

Each of us makes assumptions based on our own experience. It is absolutely none of my business how many kids anyone else had. Nor do I feel inclined to set a mandate as to how many are too many.

Based on my experience, I do not feel that any parent can give adequate love and care to 18 children but again that is my opinion ( as an educator). If these children were attending school in a school setting ( today), whether public or private, that would bring a whole new dilemma. Imagine getting even 8 kids ready for school… breakfast, bookbags, teeth brushed, homework, lunches (?) etc.

Are any of you up to the task…I know I could NOT do it.

I am intrigued by the concept ( someone mentioned) of smaller families having smarter children and plan to check it out. While I am not an advocate of having only 1 child, due to lack of important family social interaction with siblings. I have often found that only children are typically bright . The possible correlation between a large family and lower intelligence is a concept I was unaware of.

PLEASE do not get mad at me if you have only one child or are an only child or if you came from a large family.. I am just thinking out loud.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 10th, 2010
7:10 pm

@JATL..you MUST know that I can find a lot of prominent, notable, intelligent people since 1970 with 5 kids or more. by the way, what is your magic number, once you said 5 was too many (which would make those with 5 stupid) and then you said more than 5 is the magic number.

Just want to know before I do my research.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 10th, 2010
7:13 pm

@MJG…you opened the door MJG…I have one kid. Probably a good thing it’s almost time for me to get home to him….this could be a lively discussion.

regina

February 10th, 2010
7:24 pm

I think it is great the Duggers have the family that they want . If God would have let me i would do the same i have lost 5 babies in my life and know that my kids I do have a a big blessing. If they want more kids it is there right and I think they should. If you are a good parent and cant care for you family others should not care.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 10th, 2010
7:28 pm

@JATL….just one last comment before I shut down. i do respect your opinion to disagree with the way they live their lives. I wouldn’t live that way either.

What I don’t respect is the response to your dislike for them to say the following things (all copied and pasted from your posts)

“The Duggars disgust me to the point that it’s almost difficult for me to have a conversation about them”

“They’re DISGUSTING!!!!!”

“Those later kids are probably crawling out….” (in reference to Michelles privates)

“dumb, overpopulating religious nuts”

You posted this for all the world to see without discretion. In the digital age this is no different than telling this to the Duggars directly to their faces.

I HOPE this isn’t what you’re teaching your two kids as acceptable responses to people they disagree with or find different.

Because if a kid who was number 8 in the pecking order of 10 went to school with your kids and your kids told them

“Your parents are DISGUSTING!! I can’t even talk to you they’re so DISGUSTING…..did you crawl out of your mom…the dumb religious overpopulating NUT!”

If that to you is ok for your kids to say…then maybe you should re-evaluate your fitness to parent as much as you’ve evaluated the Duggars..

Night all…

motherjanegoose

February 10th, 2010
7:29 pm

@ tiger…an only child is often very smart and I have seen this to be true.

Only children, who have been in my classrooms are typically not as likely to roll with the punches of others in the classroom. Not all kids are like this… I know.

My neighbor’s son is an only child and scored a perfect SAT. I took him to the movies years ago with my own kids. We had planned to eat lunch first. I suggested several fast food places and while I was mulling them over with the kids ( in the back seat) , he insisted on Mac Donald’s as he wanted to eat there. My kids did not understand as our family usually took turns deciding where to eat.

I also once sat next to a 40ish man on the airplane who told me he had an only 4 year old. He asked me what I thought were a few important things for young children. I mentioned playing games and reading stories each day. He told me that they did both but that he let his son win all the time as he would pitch a fit if he did not. I laughed as I knew that families with several kids cannot let any child win all the time…just not happening!

You may be a WONDERFUL PARENT with A WONDERFUL ONLY child and that is super. I had two because I wanted a bit of sibling rivalry to have a play in the situation and I wanted a girl and a boy ( I got what I wanted….hoorah!) Look at it this way, your child has the potential to be very bright…I hope he is!

Alecia

February 10th, 2010
8:19 pm

Are these kids college bound? Does the oldest have a degree? Perhaps the parents are not living off the gov’t dime. However, they are not preparing their offspring to be productive tax paying citizens. What type of employment will these 19 children have without a college degree?
Will hubby teach all 19 how to be a business people or politicians? They cannot depend on Michelle to teach these children to be productive adults. There is not much going on above her breasts.

HB

February 10th, 2010
8:33 pm

Just now reading through all the posts. Topic police, MJG? Just because one time few days ago I couldn’t find the jumping off point for one of your rants and asked what it was? Had no idea I touched such a nerve that you’d feel compelled to bring it up again, and once again call me out on a thread before I’ve even posted anything. But if getting your digs in at me is what keeps you happy, I hope I’ve made your day. :)

But back to topic — I’m surprised by how worked up people get about the Duggars. Sure, their lifestyle is unusual, but as DB said, it’s just different and a throwback to not so many decades ago. I’m with Tiger on this — if it works for their family, and it does seem to, then more power to them. I don’t get it, and would never want that many kids myself, but I’m sure they don’t want the life I’m quite happy with either. And I agree with the person who said that they probably have a much smaller footprint than many smaller families because they’ve chosen a simpler, more frugal lifestyle than many. How large is their home? Is is much bigger than the many McMansions that house 4 or 5 people? I also wonder how much less attention their children get. I babysat families with two and three children who sometimes saw Dad before he left for work in the morning and were usually in bed before he got home. If these parents work in the home and the children are homeschooled and working side by side with them to help run the home, they may not get much less face time with Mom and Dad than children in many families caught up in the modern rat race.

As for medical concerns, I’ve seen doctors on TV talking about the increasing risks of more pregnancies for Mrs. Duggar, and would think they’re telling the truth. But at what point do we call taking those risks going too far? I know several women who have chosen to try hard for a second or third pregnancy despite high risks for a difficult pregnancy. And of course, there are many women and men risking Down’s, autism, etc by becoming older parents. Was it really a higher risk for a woman who had 18 children with no complications (that I’ve read of — correct me if I’m wrong) to go for a healthy #19, than another woman who has had perhaps a miscarriage and one very premature child to try for a second? Would people judge the woman with one child as harshly?

JATL

February 10th, 2010
8:35 pm

@ Tiger -I would LOVE the opportunity to tell the Duggars all of those things to their faces. In fact, I would love to have an open forum with all of the over-breeding nut jobs that TLC/Discovery glorifies. Yep, they are disgusting, stupid and irresponsible, and why on earth would I care if you do or don’t respect the fact that I feel that way? (sounds of Michelle Duggars’ labia flapping in the breeze…..)

lol

February 10th, 2010
8:51 pm

I hope these retards know that the earth size is still the same, and it’s not getting any bigger.

luvmygbabies

February 10th, 2010
9:06 pm

The octuplet mom was white but has recieved nothing but grief…I know alot of things turn racist , but I dont think this one is. I think its common sense her body is telling her she has had enough , her uterus has got to be worn out !!! I think the other children are missing out on alot , but I also feel they have a very strong family bond ans are being taught responsibility and loyalty which is something children in todays worl are not being taught because they are spoiled rotten ! Its a catch 22 situation , but I say more power to them.I have to admit I think its kinda crazy , but I guess its normal to them. I just think its sad that they cant really enjoy the grandchildren like grandparents do cause there is nothing better !!!!

DB

February 10th, 2010
10:43 pm

You often see it noted that “the wrong people are punching out kids” — implying that people without education and the ability to inspire a strong work ethic and appreciation for education tend to have more children, who follow in their footsteps, whereas highly educated individuals with an appreciation for education and a strong work ethic tend to have far fewer children. In other words, the people who “should” be having lots of kids aren’t, and the people who “shouldn’t” are. Extremists point to this phenomenon as a factor in the “dumbing down of America”. I dunno. The original “large family”, the Galbraiths (”Cheaper By the Dozen”) were also an ultra-organized family. All of the children who survived to adulthood (the youngest, Mary, died young of diptheria) ended up going to college, five of the 6 boys served in World War II (the 6th was rejected for health reasons), and they all became what most people would consider contributing members of society. (Ironically, none of the children had large families — one child had 4 children, the rest of them had 2 or 3.)

I find a lot to admire in the Duggers. In keeping with their religious principles, they are debt-free. They built their own 7,000 square foot house themselves over the course of three years. Yes, they do get income from The Discovery Channel for their show — but we don’t complain about people who take part in “Survivor” or “The Amazing Race” to earn money, why do people look down their noses at the Duggers for opening their home to T.V.?

One last thought: Did you know that the average size of an Amish family is 7 children? The Amish are what most would consider to be “fundamentalists”, and eschew modern trappings such as TV, internet and electricity. Almost no Amish children attend school past 8th grade, and even fewer attend college. And yet — the Amish do not bring out the amount of vitriole that is directed at the Duggers. In fact, most people consider them “quaint” and that they have the “right to pursue their religious beliefs.” We don’t berate them for not sending their children to college — in fact, we respect their adherance to their beliefs. So do the Duggers. They aren’t bothering anyone, they are taking care of themselves, and teaching their children to do the same. Is that such a terrible thing?

Tiffany

February 10th, 2010
11:08 pm

I think the Duggars need to be extremely thankful that they were blessed with such good fertility…heaven knows that there are so many couples who are struggling to conceive…those couples are the ones I feel for. I think this couple MUST have some mental issues going on. I’d like to hear what the older kids really think about being part of such a huge family…and homeschooling all of them? When do ANY of them get any time AWAY from each other? It is time for the Duggars to put the thoughts of another pregnancy right out of their heads. Having another would be completely insane. They have ENOUGH!

Active Duty Mom

February 11th, 2010
8:23 am

Whether we like it or not, Michelle and Bob Duggar are probably going to have another child because it is their decision. Personally, I think that if your doctor tells you that having another child would be very dangerous for your and/or the child’s health, I think you ought to listen and both parties take the necesssary precautions so that you can care for the children that you do have. I am very thankful that my mom and dad listened to my mother’s doctor back in 1974 when he said no more children after mom almost went into a grand mal seizure and could have died while delivering my brother. They had a total of two kids, but me and my brother still had a mom and dad still had a wife.

DB

February 11th, 2010
8:41 am

@Tiffany: The eldest, Josh, is married to a girl from a family of 8 kids. In interviews, they have said that they both want a large family. Reality may smack them in the face down the road, but that’s what the feeling is now, from the eldest.

Tod

February 11th, 2010
10:08 am

Re birth control. They should just use the “pull out” method. It’s safe and scientifically proven to be the most effective form of birth control out there.

Allyson Greising

February 11th, 2010
10:46 am

The duggars are blesses with all the kids they have, but the fact that she is still having childrenis outrageous. There’s a point where it’s just too much. There honestly should be a limit to how many kids you can have because of the worlds growing population.

Tod

February 11th, 2010
10:58 am

@Allyson G. I agree with the # of kids limit, especially if you are poor…or dumb.

Beth

February 11th, 2010
11:17 am

Disgusting. These parents make me sick. Having children for the sake of having children. They can’t even take care of the kids they have. A “buddy system” is in use, making the older children the parents of the younger children, because the real parents don’t have time.

There is no time to bond or have any real relationship with either parent. Maybe there is time to say “hi” and “bye” and that is it. And to take away the childhood of the older children, as they have to become the parent to a younger child is simply selfish.

These two people need to really look in the mirror and ask themselves if God wants to see sub-standard parents who have no ability to spend quality time with their children. I think NOT!

And then to prostitute their family on tv, in order to gain free sponsorships and gifts … sickening.

These are very UN-christian people. Very selfish, self promotors, looking to make money off of their children.

I hope their show gets cancelled.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 11th, 2010
11:25 am

Is that your Christian take on it, Beth?

Beth

February 11th, 2010
11:29 am

I think there should be a special tax levied on these stupid people that have WAY too many kids.

It is NO secret that the earth is overpopulated and our resources are being taxed to the limit. And here is this family irresponsibly and recklessly breeding ignorant stupid kids who aren’t even educated enough to get a college degree.

Would YOU be willing to forgo your share of food and water to feed this uneducated brood?

They will not contribute to the planet, except to breed more kids themselves. Just more uneducated people for the state to support. More uneducated people who are not contributing to the country. Just what we need.

While other countries are encourageing education and intelligence and becoming world super powers, the US continues to glorify the uneducated and the stupid. Allowing people to home school their children into stupidity.

When the US becomes the lapdog, kissing up to other countries (even our enemies) who support and encourage education – china, middle east (believe it or not) – then we can blame the Duggars and people like them, and all Duggar supporters.

Warrior Woman

February 11th, 2010
11:33 am

@ catlady – You need to get off your “I’m the only that knows how many children a family should be able to have” kick. Your attack on this family shows that you are the one that is “disgusting,” as you so kindly called them.

The Duggars are responsible parents, raising their children and paying their own way. Trying to twist keeping money they earned by taking legal income tax deductions into being on welfare and equating opposition to meth addicts having kids with opposition to African-Americans having kids shows that you are a raciast that is willing to lie to make your point. You say that because the Duggars are alive that someone else doesn’t have enough air? Show me people someone suffocating because the planet has run out of oxygen. And even if they were, what gives you the right to determine who gets what resources?

Taken as a group, your comments today show that you think you should get to determine who gets to have kids or not; who gets to keep their earnings or not; and who gets to live or die. I’m really glad that you dont’ have the power you want to make those decisions. I’ve lost a lot of the respect I’ve had based on your past contributions.

@BeeJay – There is really no evidence – except for disproven hypotheses like Erlich’s “Population Bomb” – that says the world is overpopulated.

@BB – I’m pretty sure that they know there are other methods of birth control. They just choose not to use them, which is entirely their right, as they are taking responsibility for the consequences. Actually, given the Supreme Court’s discovery of a right to privacy in Roe v. Wade, it’s their right regardless.

@motherjanegoose – I’m one of 6. My mom was one of 12. In both families, the older kids helped with the little ones. We all had household responsbilities. Today, my older child helps with her younger sibling. They both have household responsibilities. In my opinion, this is a wonderful practice. Children are members of the family and need to share in family responsibilities. It teaches family cohesion and personal responsibility.

On a different note, MJG, catlady’s posts were a lot more hateful than Jane’s. I find it interesting that you only told Jane to calm down.

Tod

February 11th, 2010
11:33 am

Mexicans have lots of kids too.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 11th, 2010
11:37 am

Do you honestly believe that starvation is caused by a lack of food? That’s just silly. Starvation is an economic problem…not an abundance problem.

Are you a conservative?

Tod

February 11th, 2010
11:41 am

Beth – The Duggars live in Arkansas, is anyone from that state really smart enough to get a college degree that is not obtained online, assuming Ark has internet yet?

Tod

February 11th, 2010
11:43 am

@ Tiger needs me on his PR team – Why does Tiger need you on his PR team? Inside jokes on anomynous blogs aren’t funny.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 11th, 2010
11:44 am

@Beth…my plumber doesn’t have a college degree. I really value his skills and admire his work ethic and his contributions to my community. Same goes for my electrician, the guy who painted my house, the butcher at my local grocer, baker there too, the cop buddy I have, oh and the firefighter buddy I have, and my buddy serving in the Army in Afghanistan right now. None of them were “educated enough to get a college degree.”

I do have a buddy who got a BA in philosophy though, and he makes a MEAN vanilla latte at Starbucks. I appreciate his contributions too and am glad to see he’s put his college education to good use.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 11th, 2010
11:45 am

Tod…it’s not really an inside joke. I took the moniker a while back when the topic was Tiger. It stuck.

Tod

February 11th, 2010
11:50 am

Ok thanks for clearing up. I felt left out.

Tod Dugger

February 11th, 2010
11:50 am

My new moniker.

Tod Duggar

February 11th, 2010
11:56 am

Beth is more of a Octomom fan.

A

February 11th, 2010
12:00 pm

The Duggars have strong beliefs, so who are we to say they should or should not stop having children? More power to them, I stopped at 2.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 11th, 2010
12:21 pm

@Tod…yeah, people from Arkansas are destined to be losers.

I mean what did Maya Angelou, John Grisham, Sam Walton, William Dillard, Bill Clinton, William Fulbright, Johnny Cash, Scott Joplin, Billy Bob Thornton, Douglas MacArthur, Lou Brock, and Jerry Jones ever do with their pathetic lives?

God I love Google.

Tod Duggar

February 11th, 2010
1:24 pm

@TigerPR – Their biggest accomplishment was leaving Arkansas.

Alone and Happy

February 11th, 2010
2:04 pm

Jim Bob? Ohhh brother, the name says it all! Yee haw! Children are NOT a precious gift, they are noisy, smelly annoying, time-consuming burdens. Every time some simp goes on about the “joy” of holding a “sweet innocent little child” I can just be sick. I would never give up my lifestyle, nice car, etc, to breed. I’ve worked too hard to reduce myself to being a brainless, boring stay-at-home uterus on legs. I especially hate defective children. They are certainly not a joy or blessing. They’re a curse. They’re a drain on the parents, taxpayers and society. They take up space & resources. Kids are unneccessary. I hate kids. I’m so glad I decided never to have any

Tod Duggar

February 11th, 2010
2:07 pm

@Alone and Happy – see you at Bitter Ball this weekend!!!

Becky

February 11th, 2010
2:22 pm

@Tiger..I agree with you about the plumber..I have a nephew (by marriage) that is a plumber and he looses more money gambling each year than I make..He doesn’t have a college degree either..My ex owns his own company and does very well and (gasp) he doesn’t even have a high school diploma..

From what I have seen of this show, the Duggar children are pretty smart and well adjusted..You never hear about any of them just getting out of jail or caught with drugs or anything like that, so why the big deal with their way of life?

Someone mentioned always wearing clothes bought from Goodwill, so??Who cares where their clothes come from or how they pay for their food, if they are doing it all on their own..Some people are just to materialistic..I can well afford to go out and buy new clothes, I jsut choose not to..I buy plenty of my clothes from a local thrift store.. Life is way to short to worry about what other people think about you..

scrappy

February 11th, 2010
4:17 pm

I know this is off the subject of Michelle’s health, but as a middle class person (a public school teacher, so really, I am lower middle-class incomewise) I strenuously object to being given tax credit as a kind of “government assistance.”

Excuse me. I earned the salary, I paid property taxes, I paid my share of SSI, I forfeit salary for health insurance benfits. (I also paid State, County, and sales taxes. Including sales taxes on necessities like water and natural gas to my home!)

I feel that the $3600 “deduction” the government “gives” me for supporting myself, (and the other dependents in my household…) is hardly a hand-out. It is a recognition that of the 25% of my gross income that I paid to the government was more than a fair share based on the amount of income I earned and the fact that I contribute to society via other financial streams. Stop calling normal tax credits “hand-outs.” It is offensive.

vcm

February 11th, 2010
5:40 pm

The Duggars never said that they wanted to set a record or that they were trying to go back in time by reliving the old testament. They simply believe that children are a blessing and they want as many blessings as God will give them. It’s not our place to judge. It’s their life. They live in a house debt free and have their own income. They believe that this is what they are CALLED to do. It’s no different than a preacher being called into the ministry, or a musician choosing gospel over secular music. They were called to be parents, and if you have ever watched the show, they love their kids, they provide for their kids, and they teach them right from wrong according to the Bible. They are very scheduled and organized, and quite frankly, have more control over their 19 kids, than most parents do over 1 or 2.

We’re so quick to judge and point fingers…..I must have missed the memo that said the Duggars having 19 kids put us in an economic bind and killed the welfare system. DARN.

Also, they are NOT the only family that believe’s this or practices this. There is several families that have been introduced on their show that have just as many kids as them, but because they aren’t in the spotlight, they don’t have to deal with the negative comments and backlash.

This is their ministry, this is their calling, this is what they CHOOSE to do with their lives. WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

fk

February 11th, 2010
7:12 pm

I am # 8 of 10. 8 of the 10 hold college degrees. 3 hold advanced degrees. 7 of the ten attended private school. Some attended public colleges, some private. Not one left home to escape – they left for college or the service. My older sisters got married at 21 & 23 (back in 1973 & 1976). Both had college degrees. No one paid our way, with the exception of academic scholarships ~ we all had part-time jobs in high school if not involved in sports. No one is a drug addict nor a criminal.

I have only one child, but that was not the plan. I get a kick out of those who are horrified at large families. So many have strong opinions of large families when they have never been a part of such. Here’s a different opinion: There are those who are a bit taken back at those who would prefer to work fulltime, jet all over the country for a job, take childless vacations and pay someone else care for the kids. It takes all kinds to be good parents. Some people need to work to support their families, some need to work to keep their sanity. I find it so disappointing when mothers attack one another for their choices, when we all share the same goal: raising happy, healthy children who will be positive contributors to society.

DB

February 11th, 2010
7:22 pm

@Alone and Happy: Glad your mother didn’t feel the same way . . .

mamaship

February 11th, 2010
8:58 pm

Just had to comment on catladys post, its not about the color of there skin its about, who is supporting these kids….and its not the tax payers so……….

Shannon

February 11th, 2010
10:14 pm

I believe as long as the Duggers’ are able to provide and take care of more children and if that’s what they want then that’s their business. I would just be careful with just having a preemie baby. Once you have a preemie you can possibly have more preemies. I love the show and watch it as much as I can. I have a 3 little girls and we are done with having kids. My last baby was born at 22 weeks 6 days and was 1 lb 6 ozs! We got really lucky with her no having any medical problems so far. She will be 1 in March. I don’t want to have anymore because of my preemie and I don’t want to take any more chances with anymore babies. I believe if the Duggers’ believe they can have more that’s fine with me but they need to think that their older children are going to start having their families too…Like Josh does! I want to with them all the luck and best wishes in the world! Congrats and hope all goes well with the new baby!

Mimi

February 12th, 2010
12:38 am

I personally think Michelle has a psychological problem. She has an obsession of having babies. The Duggars should be investigating for forcing their older kids to raise their younger siblings. Children need to be raise by their parents. Have their attention and quality time with them. These kids are forced to be parents at an early age. Are these kids given the freedom that they need at their age?
The focus should be in what is happening in that household. None of the kids are attending college. All the kids are home school. Are they being brainwashed and not allowed to see the real world?
I’m worry of all these extreme religions. Yes, they are free to do whatever they want BUT they brought us into their lives. Exploiting their children because of their own selfishness. I see them and I do not see a role model or a life I would like for anyone. Living under the rules and psychological pressures of family and religion. I see the girls the way they are dress and it reminds me of the Middle East. What is the difference when we see women looking oppressed? Is this America in the year 2010? We criticize the east and look at this in our own backyard.
Another thing is that they are very much into only sticking to their own race. Maybe I’m wrong but I have not seem any diversity in their household.

crystal linzie

February 12th, 2010
1:02 am

I think it’s very unfair that people are judging them for having lots of kids. Especially since they can afford them and seem to be teaching them good morals. It shouldn’t matter how many kids you have as long as you do a good job raising them. I think its awesome that they have such a close knit family and think all of us should take a lesson from them on what a family should be. Who are we to decide that they aren’t bonding properly with each child. Neither parent leaves the house to work and the children are all home schooled. They spend more time with their children than any of us. Keep up the good work Duggars and America worry about what’s going on in your own home!

Suzy

February 12th, 2010
1:56 am

Each time they conceive they’re taking a big chance. This last pregnancy should have been a giant wake-up call. They seem addicted to the attention they’re getting with all these babies. Yes, yes we all know they’re good people, who pay their own way (health insurance is probably picking up the huge bills for their recent baby), but at what point do they want reality to hit? The children need their mother. If she or the baby have serious complications, it hurts them as well. The older children are doing a mass majority of the parenting. Next there’s the TV crews who are intruding on their lives. Enough already.

Becky

February 12th, 2010
8:59 am

@fk..I’m #8 of 10..I could only wish that my family was like yours..None of us have college degrees..I do have 2 brothers that are super smart, but neither one of them chose to make something of it..Out of 4 boys, only one has never been to jail, out of 6 girls, one is a drug addict..The rest of us are pretty normal..If anyone really knows what normal is..lol..None of the boys have children, 5 of my sisters have 3 children each..I wasn’t blessed with children..

My Mother (God rest her soul), wasn’t a bad mother, she just married the wrong man and had to work just to support us, so she wasn’t always able to be there for us..As I said, it appears that the Duggars spend a fair amount of time with their children..BUT, she was a good of a mother as she knew how to be..IMO..SO again, if this is what they want, I wish them all of the luck in the world..

cate

February 12th, 2010
6:29 pm

Keep in mind that these kids are not being raised like the vast majority of kids are. None of them are going to college or appear to be interested in living out of the family nest. This appears to be especially true for the girls who wear their hair long because their dad likes it that way and apparently can’t date anyone unless he is of similar upbringing. The older girls do a large percentage of the housework and child rearing as described by their “jurisdictions”. They seem somewhat brainwashed, but maybe that’s the price to pay for having well mannered kids!

fk

February 12th, 2010
6:32 pm

Becky – What is normal? I’d say your mother was a success. She didn’t fold, she did the best she could. It’s very hard for one parent to raise one child alone….and work outside the home. Can’t imagine having a bad day at work and have to go home to face 10 kids with little or no support. My mother’s brother died at 43. My aunt was left to raise 6 kids, ages 1-13. She had help, my mother’s brothers & my aunt’s siblings were all supportive, both in physical presence and monetarily, but regardless of the amount of help, etc., it’s not the same as it would be with a partner.

I don’t know the circumstances of your brothers, but I am all too familiar with young men and stupidity. There comes a point when they are accountable for their own actions. It doesn’t take much to wind up on the wrong side of the bars for some young men under the age of 25. I think everyone knows at least one person who lived in the fast lane, whether they admit it or not. I knew two or three, but they did grow up. They were lucky. Some grow up, some wind up in jail, others wind up in the morgue.

Both of my parents valued education and quality family time. My mother always wanted all of us to have the option of going to college, although they had no intention of footing the bill. We always ate dinner together. The only “ticket” out was if you were involved in a sporting event or working. And, every so often, they checked out where we said we where we went, and with whom we said we were going. It certainly was not an easy life for them, and not a life everyone could live. There was a lot of sacrifice. Oh, there’s a word no one uses any too often these days. Now, they reap their rewards, though. Four generations celebrate holidays, birthdays, etc. together. My mother will say that they could never imagine life at this point, because they were busy, and they just never thought that far ahead.

My two oldest brothers had 5 and 6 kids. The breakdown: 3 girls & 2 boys and the other, 3 & 3. One sister has 4 – 1 boy and 3 girls. Two of my other brothers 2 – both a boy and a girl, and another brother, a sister and myself all have 1- they each have daughters, I have a son. Two of my sisters don’t have any, but are very good to their nieces and nephews, and vice versa. About 10 years ago, we were at a family party and my husband’s brother commented to my niece’s boyfriend at the time, “BIG family, right?”. The boyfriend’s response, “Yes, but I can’t wait to become a part of it.” And, he did :)