Teen trend:Does her bracelet mean something sexual?

I got a note from one of our regulars who just found out that weaved bracelets the teens in her ‘burb of Atlanta are wearing have another meaning other than friendship. Here’s what she wrote:

“Apparently the kids in middle and high school are into colored bracelets. Kind of like the friendship bracelets we used to wear…the intertwined ones. Well…who knew that they now have sexual meaning? I certainly didn’t. And neither did my daughter. She wears them because she simply LIKES them. So when a girl came up to her and asked if she knew what they meant….she had no clue!…”

“Apparently the colors of the bracelets correlate to what you have done sexually or are willing to do. My child had no clue…she just happens to be the necklace/bracelet freak. ”…

“As her mom….do I instruct her to tell these bozo kids to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine…or tell her to just take them off? Before you know it…twister beads and parachute pants will mean you are into beastiality and spankin..un-freakin-believable.”

Have you seen your teens wearing these bracelets? Have you heard that the colors indicate your child’s sexual willingness? Will you ask them if they know what the mean? Will you tell them to stop wearing them? (Problem is even if they’re just wearing them because they like them other kids may think they are indicating something else.) What do you think?

193 comments Add your comment

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
3:45 pm

@ Becky…and I don’t disagree with that…all I was saying was that the blanket statement, as it was stated, was an unfair stereotype of a certain group of people that implied ALL (or even most) people in that group put material possessions as a priority over their kids, which is simply untrue.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
4:44 pm

Sporty whom ever you are… I am gonna bet a kidney – with all your “education” and money and fancy cars… Your kid has just as much chance as any one else ruining their life… Your children are no more or less immune to life’s tragedies as any one else…. Money can not buy a brain.

uberVU - social comments

January 30th, 2010
2:59 am

Social comments and analytics for this post…

This post was mentioned on Twitter by cl_atlanta: SHOCK: Suburban Atlanta teens wear sex bracelets, says one unnamed 3rd-hand source. http://bit.ly/a9ecgX…

notnaive

January 30th, 2010
8:57 am

My kids went to a prominent christian school for one year, this is what happened there in one year;

1. 2 teachers were fired for innapropriate relations with students, 2 seperate cases.

2. 2 seniors were expelled and not allowed to graduate after being caught drinking with and having innapropriate relationships with a mother of another student.

3. A baseball coach was fired after being caught having an affair with another coaches wife.

1 year!!!!

Get your head out of the ivory white, cleverly packaged, play sand, christian schools are not for christians, they are for affluent families that wish only not to associate with the unwashed masses. I actually dont have a problem with that, but dont pretend it is for the christian values! Now go clean out your mini van, you left the chik-fil-a wrappers in there.

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by AJCMOMania, tattoodesignguy, atlantadiamond, Trevor J, Mala Bracelets and others. Mala Bracelets said: Teen trend:Does her bracelet mean something sexual?: My child had no clue…she just happens to be the necklace/brac… http://bit.ly/dguZJ1 [...]

Z truth

January 31st, 2010
9:40 am

Why don’t we tell our girls the truth about Biology. Women do not hit their peak until their 30’s, men peak 20(start declining soon afterwards). However, most men do not know what they are doing until they are in their 20’s. This sums it up. Sex before college is just a waste of effort and disappointment.

[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Creative Loafing Atl, Austin L. Ray, Maurice Garland, emokidsloveme, emokidsloveme and others. emokidsloveme said: Nooo! RT @cl_atlanta: SHOCK: Suburban Atlanta teens wear sex bracelets, says one unnamed 3rd-hand source. http://bit.ly/a9ecgX [...]

FCM

January 31st, 2010
8:02 pm

Julia honey one day you might need that kidney. Now as far as affluent families and a propensity for “trouble” — Paris Hilton. Do we really need anyone other than this poster child of affluence without a clue?

I seem to recall that Rhett Turner had a share of trouble as a teenager. The Bush girls (and I like them) got caught under aged drinking with fake IDs. Amy Carter certainly caused Rosalyn and Jimmy a fair share of extra prayer. What all of the “kids” had in common is affluence and good schools — I am not 100% sure where Paris went but the others were certainly in private school.

On of my best friend in HS went to Lovett (I did not). He says he spent most of his Junior and Senior years in the parking lot, skipping class, experimenting with sex, drugs, and alcohol.

Certainly that stuff went on in my public Cobb County HS. Another of my best friends got an abortion one summer. She was drunk at prom and got pregnant.

Just keep talking and praying. For me, no drugs, no alc, no sex until 18 and then over 2 years of abstinence until I did again. In fact I have always said my friends spoke to me about their plans for 2 reasons: they wanted me to talk them out of it OR they wanted me to tell them all the ways the plans could go wrong (so they could cover the bases and not get caught). Both ways worked for them. The #1 reason I did not do much of the really stupid stuff (though I did my share of things that I say what was I thinking) is my parents. My parents were the strictest in the neighborhood as voted on by OTHER parents. Later it became what it is today–because I have to look at myself to put my make up on each day.

DB

January 31st, 2010
9:47 pm

FCM, actually, Amy Carter did NOT go to a private school when Jimmy Carter was President. There was a big to-do about her going to attend the public school where the White House was zoned, Stevens Elementary School and Hardy Middle School. When they went back to Plains, she went to Tri-Counties High School down there around Plains/Columbus/Buena Vista. She didn’t much like the public school, though, because she wasn’t allowed to go out at recess because the Secret Service couldn’t guarantee her safety — the playground was too close to the street — and she had a hard time making friends. Carter used his daughter to push his own “democratic” agenda and image as a down-home kind of guy by claiming that “private schools are havens for the rich and powerful elite
and the President of the world’s leading democracy should oppose elites.” Yeah, whatever . . .

Having put two children through 13 years each of private school, I can tell you uniquivocally that just because a child is in a private school, they are not “protected” from the big, bad world. Kids still need to be wisely parented and supervised. I think the biggest mistake parents make is in middle school, when the kids start to try to pull away to “establish their independence.” Many parents have the idea that if they don’t allow them their “independence”, they will grow up “sheltered” and “unable to cope.” B.S. There is appropriate independence, and there is inappropriate independence, but many parents have trouble telling the two apart.

Dave

February 1st, 2010
7:27 am

@notnaive – you made OUR point. If those things happened, at that Prominent Christian school the people were fired and things were corrected. If that had been a public school, NOTHING would have been done about it!

Julia

February 1st, 2010
7:56 am

Morning FCM, I am so glad you can put be back on the straight and narrow :)

I do have one question thought.. really.. its this part of all those boy girl parties starting at 12?? It just seems to me that parents are setting up a brothel in their house with these things when the “supervising” parents go up stairs to watch tv :)

JJ

February 1st, 2010
8:30 am

Julia, you will probably die at this one, but on my daughter’s 18th birthday, I allowed girls and boys to come over and party, and most of them spent the night, even the boys. They partied until 3:00, down in the basement, and I was upstairs. There is no bathroom down stairs, so they had to come upstairs and they knew I was in the living room. Like I have said over and over, I know these kids, I know their parents, and all the other parents knew where the kids were. I called all parents, and let them know of my plans. Not one parent balked…..

Kids, in my opinion, need a place like that, where they know a parent is home, but they are safe to have a good time, and no one is drinking and driving on my watch.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

February 1st, 2010
8:45 am

Hey Guys — the “baby” is sick — I have to take her to the doctor — i will try to post later today when I get back — Walsh had strep last week so I suspect tis the same —- sorry nothing new for this morning. check back this afternoon and hopefully I can get something up – she feels pretty badly!

Julia

February 1st, 2010
8:46 am

JJ she was 18 not 12 :)… just most girls now they have to grow up way faster than we did in the 80’s :)

Yea I would have been up all night with them as well :)

Julia

February 1st, 2010
8:47 am

Theresa, hope she feels better.. J was out of school all last week with the crud!

FCM

February 1st, 2010
9:07 am

DB thanks about Amy Carter. I always felt bad for any POTUS child. I was a private school kid myself until my later education…I am an alumni of a public school as I stated.

Julia–I agree it is a narrow walk. Will not agree I always walk it straight. (Que Johnny Cash and I walk the line).

Julia

February 1st, 2010
9:10 am

FCM none of us have ever walked it straight :)

you will love this, so this past weekend was dad’s weekend – the boy was sick but his dad had purchased tickets to the symphony. He really tried to guilt the kid into going sick. I love the fact that now in the new custody papers… ALL major decisions if we can not come to a conclusion.. My decision is the bible :) No I will not abuse it.

Erin

February 1st, 2010
10:24 am

This has been rumored forever. It’s practically urban legend and the only school kids who believe it are the same ones who believe every legend, rumor and media trend. If your child wants every item the TV says is popular, even if it is in no way related to their previous interests, THEN this might be an issue with them. Otherwise, no. And most won’t worry if another kid does believe it when they wear it – that’s probably the same person who worries about what side others part their hair on, and whether their cell phone is the ‘right’ one this month, and whether they have the right brand of shoes, and thinks that almost every color in the rainbow means some gang or signal or another.

This trend is FAR more popular in the media because it is ’shocking’ than amongst kids, and if it weren’t reported on, it likely wouldn’t exist at all.

Judge Judy Fan

February 1st, 2010
10:49 am

As Judge Judy would say, “How do you know when a teenager is lying?” Answer – “When their mouth is moving.” I love it. I don’t totally agree with it, but I love it.

RJ

February 1st, 2010
11:08 am

@JJ, not in a million years! I don’t care if she’s 18 or 28, I don’t think so. I would’ve been the parent you called and said, “I’ll be by to pick her up.”

HB

February 1st, 2010
12:43 pm

Re: Amy Carter and private school. I’m pretty sure she went to Woodward for at least part of high school — think I know someone who was there when she was. I thought she raised a fuss by breaking school policy when she arrived at the prom with an African-American date (good for her!).

jd

February 1st, 2010
2:31 pm

JJ – my daughter that I spoke of last week was in the basement watching a movie and I was upstairs. She’s 18 as well but I still wish she’d of had that fear of mom just popping in to check on her and she might have remained a virgin for at least another day ;)

julio luis

February 1st, 2010
3:19 pm

well would someone tell us what the colors mean so we can look out for the ones we particulary are fond of !

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 1st, 2010
3:27 pm

Julio…doesn’t matter, from what i’m reading, only teens are wearing them and that will get you some well deserved shaming and jail time on “To Catch a Predator” on NBC…

BUT..on the offchance your very of age significant other wants to follow the kids lead, be on the look out for Purple, Red, Clear, Blue, Glittery Blue, and Glittery Green…those are the premium bracelets from an earlier post!

Was getting bored here so I had to contribute my two cents!

motherjanegoose

February 1st, 2010
3:34 pm

@ Julia….I am just back from Texas and asked BOTH my 17 year old and my 22 year old about the sex bracelets, I also told them that some posters appeared to be criticizing you for not “knowing” your son.

My son said, ” Oh yeah….those rumors have been around for a long time and I personally never saw ANYONE at my MS or HS wearing one. Sheesh…some parents just need things to get worked up over. That did NOT happen in my peer group. Her son is most likely telling her the truth and she probably knows it.”

My daughter said, “Who are those other posters that are judging her relationship with her son.’
Maybe they have more trouble in their own back yard and cannot understand a parent who KNOWS their own kids. No, I have not seen any of these bracelets on any of my friends but maybe it is just not the crowd I hang with. I am too busy working, going to church and studying to get involved with those kinds of kids….the most I do is go to the mall, dinner or the movies.”

My kids are 17 and 22 and my son also told me, “Mom, you may not know everything I have ever done but I will NOT lie to you if you ask me.” Also, “_____ ( his sister) is not going to be involved with the fast crowd or do any of that stuff. It is not who she is and we both know that.”

I do not know your son Julia but I do know my kids and they know what boundaries I have set for them. I know they are not perfect but they are decent kids.

I would NEVER have a spend the night party at my house with 18 year olds in a mixed group.
Since college, I am sure my son has spent the night with mixed groups, had others over to his apartment and still goes to friend’s houses now but he is almost 23 and that is not something I worry about. He is an adult and he knows the consequences. Kids in HS probably do not.
He came home from a graduation party that he was invited to….a room at a local hotel where the uncle brought plenty of liquor and left, most of the kids were drunk and the girls were naked. He told us what was going on and proceeded to go somewhere else with other kids he knew.

I am fairly conservative about teen behavior under my roof as I do not want to be responsible for anything later that could be a problem. My kids know where we both stand and they have mostly lived up to the requirements. Again, my son told me today that he would not lie to me about anything he did…I did not ask him this but he volunteered it.

Some parents are loose parents and that is everyone’s own choice. I see lots of kids who do things that would send me into an early grave and parents who guffaw, and laugh about it. It may not be funny when your kid’s picture is in the Gwinnett Mugs due to problems with underage alcohol….this has happened in my neighborhood. A very unfortunate event.

I have not allowed too much foolishness with mine and so far, things have been o.k.

I have a very conservative neighbor, who also teaches HS. She asked my daughter to watch her dog while they were out of town. Upon the return, she called and said, “I felt totally safe about leaving our house and pet in your daughter’s hands as she is very responsible.” I was delighted to share that compliment with my daughter. One of her bosses told me, ” she is very mature for her age and a hard worker….a rarity in teens now adays….” So, I MAY have done something right.

DB and I agree that we are hopelessly old fashioned with regards to child rearing but we are nearer to the finish line than some others here…..LOL!!!!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

February 1st, 2010
3:35 pm

Hey MJG…nice to see you back. You asked me a question on a different topic, which i answered and returned a couple questions of my own…I was just wondering if you had a chance to see those.

motherjanegoose

February 1st, 2010
3:36 pm

re: HS graduation party for my son in 2005.

DB

February 1st, 2010
4:32 pm

HB, yeah, it looks like she didboard at Woodward for a bit, and also Holton Arms, another private prep school up in Maryland, before she went to college. Basically, she had a rather chequered academic career as far as variety. She spent two years at Brown and dropped out (or was asked to leave, depending on who’s doing the talking), and ended up getting a degree in fine arts from Mephis College of Art, and a masters from Tulane.

You’re right — she did bring an African-American date to the Woodward prom: http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=888&dat=19920422&id=dhoMAAAAIBAJ&sjid=eFwDAAAAIBAJ&pg=2194,1105166
Interesting article, if you have time to read it. I especially like the description of people watching the door waiting for the Carters to show up. :-)

Julia

February 1st, 2010
4:47 pm

motherjanegoose awwwwwwwwwwwww you are such a sweetheart. I just read this to the boy and he smiled and was shaking his head. No our relationship is not perfect but I am a no bull shit kind of mom. He knows I will do what ever I have to do to help him in a situation but he better be telling me the truth for me to put my neck on the line. There are boundaries in our home (not his dad’s as much) and I take the heat for that as well.

He does not hang around the “fast” kids. He also is very involved in his music at school and at church.

We were coming back from the dr for him on friday and passed this one girl checking the mail. She had stuff showing that was not good for a teen girl and he said, mom they named a state after her. He does not eve like the girls that wear make up at that age.. He says it just looks cheap :)

You made my day and his :)

motherjanegoose

February 1st, 2010
4:55 pm

too many miles since last week tiger….too many people too! Ii do not have time to review all posts and am getting back to paperwork now, as I have expense reports due!

Julia, I think you probably know your own son better than most on this blog and my kids both think he is probably telling you the truth too…in the for what it is worth department.

Julia

February 1st, 2010
5:01 pm

awww MJG thank you so much. I just read this to the boy and he was smiling and said to tell you thank you as well.

I am a no bullshit mom and he has learned this. Has he got in trouble over this, yes and all but got killed over it. He learned the boundaries the hard way. He actually now knows “mama dont play”.

He does not hang with the fast pack, he is too involved as well with his music at school and church. He does not even like the girls with make up, he says it makes them look cheap. He really did feel he was being judged and he thought I was as well that they do not know our relationship.

I really do not think I will have to worry about drugs or drinking with him. This is just not his style.. He also has asthma and allergies to every thing so he thinks something could kill him for sure…

Thank you so much for your kind words, it sure made both of our days :)

Julia

February 1st, 2010
5:04 pm

where are my post!

Julia

February 1st, 2010
5:06 pm

Thank you so much for those words of encouragement. I read that to him and he was smiling and nodding his head going I have no reason to lie it will only get me in trouble.

He has been busted so it has come to our home but he also was almost killed over it (ok not really but).. He knows now his mama don’t play. To him getting in trouble over something stupid is not worth it.

He does not hang out with the fast crowd either. He is too involved with his music at school and church.. He does not get caught up in the drama and he really goes by, he tries to treat people how he wants to be treated. I have to laugh because he does not like the girls with make up, he says that they look cheap!

MJG, you really made our day :)

HB

February 1st, 2010
5:38 pm

Thanks for posting the article, DB! The description of parents standing around hoping to get Inaugural programs autographed (I presume) is hilarious!

I find the whole mixed gender sleepover thing interesting because I grew up in a VERY conservative area, but we had mixed sleepovers all the time. No one seemed to think anything about it and certainly no hanky-panky went on. Not that I think no one I knew was having sex — they just didn’t at the sleepovers. At our house, boys and girls slept in separate rooms (mine and my step brother’s bedrooms), but I think sometimes we ended up crashing in the same room (a den or other not-so-private room) at other houses. Really, I never thought twice about it until TV news magazines a couple of years ago started running stories on the “new and disturbing trend.” Maybe we avoided trouble by not having basements — couldn’t get too far from parents ;).

Julia

February 1st, 2010
5:50 pm

Hell I remember when I was 17, I wanted to go with my BF whom my mom knew down to see a friend at college.. She would not let me go so I asked my big brother.. he goes are you an idiot.. hell NO

Not Today

February 1st, 2010
7:38 pm

Female and fondly recall a basement of my 20s. When a friend’s apartment wasn’t open a basement worked. We were in college and did not have our own space. You do know those rental homes and townhomes in college towns are perfect for these trysts right ?

BlondeHoney

February 2nd, 2010
12:19 am

Julia, I also believe that your son is telling you the truth.My two boys have always told me the truth about what’s going on with them and their friends (and what they have told me would make some of your hair stand up i am sure). My 23 year old, who graduated from FSU in May and is now a Navy ensign in Nuke school in Charleston recently moved out of the house he was sharing with some ex-marines because, as he told me, “there were too many weird people smoking & doing other drugs coming to the house & I can’t be around people like that.’ I have ALWAYS kept the lines of communication open while teaching them what’s right and that’s why they 1) make REALLY good decisions and 2) they can tell me anything and i don’t freak on them.

motherjanegoose

February 2nd, 2010
7:26 am

@ BlondeHoney…yes, you have children who are a bit older ( than some others here) too and understand what is out there now.

My number 3 rule is remember the rewards and consequences. Some children have not had to suffer their own consequences and thus they get into more trouble due to it.

Oh yeah, my son has told me….the kids whose parents you know, are not always the kids their parents think they are. Our sons are the same age and with your son being in Nuke school and my son being in Pharmacy school, they have to behave or they are out on their butts. They are in the reward period and plan to keep on course.

This is why DB and I enjoy swapping stories as we are on nearly the same square on the sidewalk and perhaps know a few things that others ( whose kids are under 12 or do not have kids at all) may not but perhaps need to! Just sharing information that may not be received but that is not my issue.
We are having lunch again this week and I look forward to it. Did anyone else get together for lunch…I hope so.

The reason I asked my kids about this is because I AM NOT on the same square of the sidewalk ( as them) and while I can give all sorts of unfounded opinions about this topic…I DO NOT KNOW and I trust they will know and tell me because that is how I reared them.

Remember….if you laugh at the little shennanigans they pull while they are 8-12 and cover for them….the cover will get bigger and you may not be laughing later….you may be crying.

Denise

February 2nd, 2010
8:49 am

Where I grew up we all grew up in small-ish ranch houses so it was a lot easier to monitor all behavior. We had a friend whose mother allowed mixed sleep-overs and we could drink. In Louisiana when I was 18 we were legal so don’t start about underage drinking. First thing, we handed over the keys that stayed in the mom’s room until the next morning. Second thing, we stashed all our stuff somewhere in the LIVING ROOM. When it was time to go to “bed” we all slept in the living room. NO ONE took a shower over there. We either came clean or got clean when we left. We could go to the bathroom of course but nobody got nekkid. Girls put on PJs in friend’s room. (PJs were SHORTS or SWEATS depending on the weather…yes, mom would check to see if we were appropriate). Boys would put on PJs in office. We hardly ever had a boyfriend-girlfriend couple in our friend group so we didn’t have a lot of temptation. No spend the bottle and games like that. We played cards, watched movies, danced and laughed…and drank daiquiris. In the morning we ate breakfast and were out the door by 11. Best times of our senior year!! And NO SEX!!! Teenagers can have fun without getting in trouble with specific guidelines that they knew would be upheld.

Jesse's Girl

February 2nd, 2010
8:59 am

I think I’m gonna start wearing them…let em talk:)

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

February 2nd, 2010
9:15 am

I have a sick baby and a new topic up!!! Sorry for the delay — Link is below

http://blogs.ajc.com/momania/2010/02/02/parenting-via-facebook-vomit-reports-and-baby-advice-abound/

Elizabeth

February 7th, 2010
10:23 am

I would just like to say that I stumbled onto to this article and that I can’t believe parents are STILL talking about this. I am currently in college and when is was in middle school, at just the turn of the century, this was the trend to call them sex bracelets. Preteens like to talk about sex, but not necessarily do anything. These jelly bracelets were out in the 80’s, too, and I believe the snap game goes that far back as well. I know from older siblings that a similar trend went on with soda and beer can tabs in the 90’s.

All I can say is that I never participated the ‘game,’ and throughout highschool i wore them and no one ’snapped’ or ‘broke’ one. Kids like to inform others of their knowledge that is all. And as far as i know that double standard for boys and girls doesn’t apply here, is in fact disappearing throughout generations. I did actually know guys that were these and joke about them.
This Snap trend has been out since before I started highschool, maybe not the bracelets themselves. Learn what is current by actually talking to your kids and not listening to the news, i seriously wish my parents had.

Jossie

June 10th, 2010
12:50 am

Wow. I am a teenager and none of my friends ever heard of this. Like we could ever make a comprehensive list of all the sexual acts we would do? We dont even know what half of those are… I think this started out as a kissing game parents are turning into something much worse. Girls will wear bracelets. Boys will want to kiss them, thats 5th grade science. Dont turn it into some underground sexual game every girl with bracelet is a part of. If u raised ur daughter right u wont have to worry