Teen trend:Does her bracelet mean something sexual?

I got a note from one of our regulars who just found out that weaved bracelets the teens in her ‘burb of Atlanta are wearing have another meaning other than friendship. Here’s what she wrote:

“Apparently the kids in middle and high school are into colored bracelets. Kind of like the friendship bracelets we used to wear…the intertwined ones. Well…who knew that they now have sexual meaning? I certainly didn’t. And neither did my daughter. She wears them because she simply LIKES them. So when a girl came up to her and asked if she knew what they meant….she had no clue!…”

“Apparently the colors of the bracelets correlate to what you have done sexually or are willing to do. My child had no clue…she just happens to be the necklace/bracelet freak. ”…

“As her mom….do I instruct her to tell these bozo kids to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine…or tell her to just take them off? Before you know it…twister beads and parachute pants will mean you are into beastiality and spankin..un-freakin-believable.”

Have you seen your teens wearing these bracelets? Have you heard that the colors indicate your child’s sexual willingness? Will you ask them if they know what the mean? Will you tell them to stop wearing them? (Problem is even if they’re just wearing them because they like them other kids may think they are indicating something else.) What do you think?

193 comments Add your comment

mom2alex&max

January 29th, 2010
8:59 am

Mmmm… I don’t have a daughter. I’d have to think about it. I think that if she was wearing them because she liked them, AND she was strong enough to put up with the peer pressure, AND I knew for sure that in fact the true meaning of the bracelets did not apply to her..I’d let her keep them. An probably as your regular said:”instruct her to tell these bozo kids to shove it where the sun doesn’t shine”

But what a load of bull…seriously.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 29th, 2010
9:03 am

think about that congressman tapping his foot in the airport bathroom — you don’t want to send the wrong signals if you really don’t know what it means or don’t want to indicate what the others think it means …….hmmmmm

Momof2Girls

January 29th, 2010
9:04 am

I’ve heard this about the rubber, or jelly, bracelets, but never about the woven friendship bracelets. With the rubber bracelets, the color(s) the girls wear are indicative of what the are willing to do. The boy breaks the bracelet that has the color of what he wants from the girl. They refer to this as “Snap”. It’s been prevelant in the UK for a while, and is probably here as well.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 29th, 2010
9:05 am

Momof2Girls

January 29th, 2010
9:12 am

I agree :-) Thank goodness I know about this from reading about it in an online article rather than hearing it from my kids.

Allie

January 29th, 2010
9:16 am

The bracelets indicating something sexual has been going on for years; it’s nothing new, along with sex parties (where the couples have an audience, or swap partners). And who’s not to say these girls are wearing the bracelet to give off the wrong impression, to be one of the “cool” girls, without actually having done anything?

However, with all this, the double standard still abounds and that’s the killer – a girl becomes a slut, while the guy is getting high fives and pats on the back. The girls are sometimes pressured into performing and then we hear those guys who did the pressuring are very often the guys who wouldn’t take such a girl home to mother.

So rather than focus all our energy on the girls, why not work on the guys too? Stop the high fives and pats on the back, stop the Dads from saying “that’s my boy!”. Treat both sexes the same (which we know will never happen), and see if they think twice before carrying on.

mom2alex&max

January 29th, 2010
9:29 am

Allie: that has LOOOOOOONNNGGG been a pet peeve of mine. I have two sons, and you can rest assured that they won’t be hearing “that’s my boy!” in my house. I want to teach my sons respect, I want to teach them the sacredness of sex, I don’t want them to be the kind of boy that a girl’s father would hate.

Michelle

January 29th, 2010
9:29 am

Until it was mentioned a day or two ago, I had no idea! My step son likes to wear them and he has several different ones. Very interesting. I’ll have to do some checking about this!

I agree with Allie, the boys should not be “congratulated” for their activities while the girls are scorned. I don’t understand why that’s always been acceptable!

As far as letting the kids wear the bracelets…we could tell them no, but I’m certain as soon as they got to school, they would put some on! It just like changing clothes once you get to school or out of view of the parents!

I think the parents should know what the bracelets mean (if they can even find out) and discuss it with the kids. Perhaps the kids just like the bracelets?

Becky

January 29th, 2010
9:31 am

Didn’t know anything abou this..I will have to ask my teenage nieces to find out if they know about this…

Single Dad

January 29th, 2010
9:35 am

this type of stuff has been going on forever. when I was in college (1970’s) in New England, I wore a red sweater on a Wednesday and some dude in my class says; “…are you gay? all gay guys on campus wear red on Wednesdays. it’s their signal…” and how about “if it’s right it’s wrong” for males with earrings? for the record; having sex with another man makes you gay (not that there is anything wrong with it) and not the color of your sweater. here’s a novel idea for parents… COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR CHILDREN. if she starts wearing a bracelet, ask her about it. and, it’s 2010, in my humble opinion, parents should have the “sex” talk with children (especially daughters, who mature much earlier) around third or fourt grade (when they start to notice/talk about boys as more than playmates or classmates). and let us not forget, some (insecure) children will do anything for attention. this not only includes experimenting with sex, but leading others to believe he/she is sexually active in order to be accepted by peers. sadly enough, the previous blog (teen pregnancies) is the only true proof a daughter is sexually active.

FCM

January 29th, 2010
9:37 am

” got a note from one of our regulars who just found out that weaved bracelets the teens in her ‘burb of Atlanta are wearing have another meaning other than friendship.” They have been reporting on this for at least a decade (maybe longer?)! 20/20 did something on them a few years back…so did someone else…probably even Oprah.

When it comes to kids doing trendy find out why they want to do it. Google whatever it takes to learn what is going on. Absolutely discuss the concerns with the child!

Although as those well along the sidewalk (JJ, MJG, DB, DiedreNC) keep telling us, if we don’t start all this way early (when they still actually listen to us) then when we finally learn about things like this it is TOO LATE.

Busy…busy….busy…..will be back later and sorry if this sound harsh literally like 60 sec or less to type

JMP

January 29th, 2010
9:37 am

Allie I agree w/you, this is nothing new the teenagers are just switching the connotation each couple of years to stay ahead of parents. However, your last paragraph is really speaking to me as I have 2 young son (8&10) and I do not want them to think it’s ok to ravage their way thru girls and be high fiving w/their friends, it’s not cool. Hopefully my husband and I can have that kind of influence on them because I don’t want them out there ruining someone’s daughter’s life. Have respect for her and yourself!

Allie

January 29th, 2010
9:38 am

Oh, in case anyone’s wondering what the colors represent, here’s a little run down:
Break someone’s orange bracelet (or purple, in some cases) and you get a kiss. Red, a lap dance. Blue, oral sex. Black, intercourse. (There may be some color variation but all articles I’ve read mostly use the same colors.)

RJ

January 29th, 2010
9:42 am

This is old news. I believe Oprah did a show on it a few years ago. Yes, teens are doing things I never knew about when I was their age. My daughter has never worn them, but we have talked about it. Parents, talk to your kids! According to my daughter, one of the biggest trends amongst girls is dating other girls. According to her, girls are dating girls just to see what it’s like or to bring attention to themselves. Some say they’re gonna go back to dating boys later. We’ve seen a lot more of it. Even one of her former friends is now dating a girl for the heck of it. What is going on today? If you’re gay fine, but to do it to get a reaction out of someone or just to be trying something is insane. Parents need to step up and be better parents. You don’t need that $400,000 house, luxury car and designer bag…you need to spend time with your kids!

Michelle

January 29th, 2010
9:43 am

Momof2Girls

January 29th, 2010
9:44 am

Allie, thanks for mentioning the colors. It actually made me think of something else.

Are the woven bracelets a solid color or patterned? My daughter and her friends make these with intricate patterns. The only solid color that I’m aware of is red because it has Kabbalistic significance for healing (please look it up if you’re curious – it is too complicated to explain here :-).

Julia

January 29th, 2010
9:44 am

The boy is still home sick (taking him back to the Dr today). I just read this to him after I asked him do you have any idea what these mean which he turned and looked at me like I was on crack. He walks off and goes that is stupid … so no I guess he either does not pay attention to the kids jewelry at school or they dont do this…

...

January 29th, 2010
9:47 am

I find this interesting when groups of people develop ways of communication undetectable to the general public.

You know how you see guys with sweat pants on and one leg is pulled up? That used to mean that he was “working”. (Selling drugs)

Now, it just means that he has seen other people do it and he is copying it because he is a lemming.

A tear drop tatoo used to mean something too.

How do people learn this stuff? I mean, do you have to have a guide?

For example, how did Larry Craig find out that you could tap your foot for bathroom sex? Is there a book or something?

And I am laughing at “the sacredness of sex” comment above. Thats great! I will be smiling all day at that comment. “Sacredness” HA!

Single Dad

January 29th, 2010
9:58 am

what man doesn’t tap his foot in the bathroom? what’s next, whistling or clearing your throat (insert homoerotic joke here). as I said, if you go to a public rest room to have sex with other men you are gay – not if you tap your foot in a stall. I like tapping my foot. I don’t like sex with other men (regardless of venue). I have to get back to work but is it me, or should parents be concerned if their teenager (male or female) is having sex (of any kind)? call me nuts, but the color of the bracelet is not the issue… sexual activity is the issue. talk to your kids, or this blog will become “grandmom(dad)ania”

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
10:11 am

I, like single dad, remember when it was the earring on either side that indicated your sexual orientation. Some of those things are urban legend, some are based in fact. I went to snopes dot com to check. They’re a website dedicated to verifying or debunking urban legends. They actually had a pretty good read.

http://www.snopes.com/risque/school/bracelet.asp

@RJ When did a $400K house, luxury car, and designer bag preclude someone from spending time and communicating with their kid(s)?

JJ

January 29th, 2010
10:13 am

Julia, he’s avoiding answering your question…..don’t think he doesn’t know……

Julia

January 29th, 2010
10:17 am

JJ naw… I can pretty much tell when he is not telling the truth, believe you me… I am not a mom that believes every word that comes out of his mouth. He really just does not care about stuff like that…

mom2alex&max

January 29th, 2010
10:17 am

Three dots dude: whatever. U find it amusing that I don’t want my boys to walk around like horn dogs? It’s ‘funny” that i want to teach them that sex is not just something to do???? is that the kind of son u think I should be raising?

idiot

...

January 29th, 2010
10:22 am

NO, no, I just find the phrase itself funny. “Sacredness of Sex”.

It puts sex on such a lofty pedastal.

Of course you should talk to your kids about sex. I guess I just am more literal and technical. Sacred is not a word that comes to mind when I think of sex.

RJ

January 29th, 2010
10:35 am

@Tiger, those parents are usually too busy working (sometimes 2 jobs) to spend any time with their kids.

Becky

January 29th, 2010
10:38 am

@Tiger..About the $400K house, I’ve seen that a lot here..People think that if the child has an awesome home, that the parents really care about them..I have a niece (35yo) that was in high school with a family like that..Didn’t matter that the Dad worked all of the time and did not know any of her friends and the Mom was more into fashion..The child came to our house one weekend, the parents never came over to meet us, just sent her on the school bus..

@Julia..Honey, I’m with JJ on this one..He knows something..Good luck finding out what it is..

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
10:41 am

@RJ and Becky…I just think that’s an unfair stereotype.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
10:46 am

:), if yall want to think I live with rose colored glasses go ahead… he and I have open talks all the time and really he does not follow the popular group he likes people for who they are… He does not get caught up in all the drama and just rolls with the flow. He is not perfect and yes he has caused his own grief but he really is a good kid :)

JJ

January 29th, 2010
10:52 am

Julia, I’m sure your son it honest and open, so is my daughter. BUT they are teenagers and they DON”T tell us everything. Trust me on this one honey!!! There are some things our kids do not wish to discuss with us.

Regarding the kids in $400K homes, the majority of the kids my daughter runs with (when she is home), all come from the big fancy homes, neighborhoods, etc. BUT, guess where they like to hang out? MY HOUSE….why? Because they like the “security” I provide by being home. Their parents are never home and they are crying out for that security.

The girls are always telling me they love that I’m there. Even if they hang down in the basement, or don’t come rolling in until 3:30, they still find comfort in the fact that I am there.

catlady

January 29th, 2010
10:55 am

I would hope my children would have been strong enough to wear bracelets of many colors or no bracelets at all and tell those that question them to “bug off”. I would, however, ask them about what I heard to see if it is big at their schools, and talk again about peer pressure, “advertising” etc.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
10:58 am

JJ can you tell by body language if they are telling the truth?? I do know there are things that he is not going to talk to me about I am not that naive.. He actually read what you wrote and said.. mom who is she to judge me.. she does not know me..

Julia

January 29th, 2010
10:59 am

Good Morning Tiger.. Good to see ya today!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
11:00 am

@JJ…so I’m going to veer from my usual tongue in cheek line of questioning here….Correct me if I’m wrong, but what you, and RJ, and Becky are really saying is that affluence in general is a cause of bad parenting, right?

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
11:02 am

morning Julia….hope the kid is feeling better.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
11:04 am

he is sick as a dog… first it was his asthma now its turned into a wet cough… he is going to his dads this weekend and his dad has tickets to the Atlanta Symphony.. I wonder if he has the sense enough that he may not need to go out in this weather.. They are calling for more sleet and cold rain here this weekend..

...

January 29th, 2010
11:04 am

Affluence is not a cause of bad parenting. Excess may be a symptom of bad parenting perhaps.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
11:06 am

yeah..I’m home with a sick one too today for half the day until mom can switch with me.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
11:08 am

I hate it when they get sick

Wayne

January 29th, 2010
11:14 am

This has been a bad year for sick people! Someone in my house has been sick since the beginning of the year. The boys, coupla times already. When does it stop? Sheesh.

The hospital I work at was over capacity yesterday because of all the sick people out there. Yikes!

RJ

January 29th, 2010
11:15 am

My comment had nothing to do with affluence. It had to do with priorities. Part of the reason people have lost their homes was their desire to live above their means. Part of it, not all of it so don’t jump on me. But so many feel that having a big house with a fancy car, buying their kids the latest and greatest is important. But if you’re working all of the time to have these things, you’re ignoring your kids. I grew up in Buckhead and I often tell my kids about th rich kids at my school. They lived in million dollar homes. They drove brand new cars (mercedes, porsche, etc). Dad worked incessantly and mom shopped or traveled. Of course not every single one lived that life, but too many of them did. Caused for some unhappy kids that were doing major drugs. Why not? They had the money to do it without anyone monitoring them.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
11:15 am

(((wayne))) dont you catch it

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 29th, 2010
11:27 am

@RJ…all I’m saying is that I don’t think misplaced priorities are any more or less prevalent across the socio economic range. Many bloggers here spend the majority of their time identifying the latest low income, federally and locally assisted sycophants (I’m paraphrasing their opinions here) who neglect their kids every day and whose kids are doing all kinds of things because no one was monitoring them. To say parents need to step up and ONLY call out the ones with $400K houses seems a little one sided and short sighted.

Wayne

January 29th, 2010
11:28 am

I know! I already had my bout. Get my x-ray next week to make sure the pneumonia is all gone. It’s been a rough month. Poor kids have it bad though. We keep our kids home when they’re sick. Others, not so much.

Anyway, sorry to get off topic.

Wasn’t there something about lipstick and different colors? I seem to recall a TV news story or something about that. It shocked me as I like to think of myself as being pretty open-minded about sex, but these were very young boys and girls.

Julia

January 29th, 2010
11:28 am

RJ, that is the absolute truth…

Julia

January 29th, 2010
11:31 am

Wayne, he has asthma and has one or two good bouts every year,.. it then turns into bronchitis or just straight to the pneumonia… With the crazy weather this year.. I knew it was just around the corner..

Ok so the lipstick?? I love red so does that make me a ho ho ho??

Wayne

January 29th, 2010
11:36 am

I just thought I had some sort of stomach bug, ended up going to the ED, and found out I had pneumonia. Was I ever surprised!

Is that a berry red, or a fire engine red? I’m just tryin’ to get a picture in my mind…

Did I just type that??

Momof2Girls

January 29th, 2010
11:38 am

You REALLY don’t want to know about the lipstick!!

If you do, read on…..

At a party, each girl wears different color lipstick. Boys try to get as many different colored rings as they can. I’m sure can figure out where…..

greeneteacher

January 29th, 2010
11:41 am

I’m a middle school teacher and there’s some kind of bracelet now that is called a ’sex bracelet.’ Boys can ‘pop’ the bracelet and the boy who does can do whatever he wants to the girl sexually. I’ve picked this up from kids talking, but don’t know the details of the bracelet. I do know that some girls just wear it because they like it, but I wonder what happens if their bracelet is ‘popped.’

Wayne

January 29th, 2010
11:41 am

THAT’s what it was! I was shocked that that happened. I’m not a prude, but holy schmokes. Kids that young should be doing other things other than that!

Momof2Girls

January 29th, 2010
11:43 am

Hey Julia, I warned you :-)