Are two Mommies as good as a Mom and a Dad?
Same-sex couples are just as good at raising well-adjusted, healthy kids as heterosexual couples according a new study published in the February issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.
According to HealthDay on Yahoo:
” ‘There’s a deeply held and widespread view out there that children need both a mother and a father to do well,’ said study author Judith Stacey, a professor of sociology and of social and cultural analysis at New York University in New York City. ‘And it seems to be a bipartisan conviction — with a lot of public policy based on that premise — since literally both President Bush and President Obama have said exactly that.’ ”
“ ‘But the point is that this orthodoxy is supposedly supported not just by a belief, but by actual research,’ Stacey noted. ‘Yet we found that, in fact, there is no research that shows that children need both a mother and a father. And we looked everywhere.’ “
Stacey and study co-author Timothy J. Biblarz, chairman of the sociology department at the University of Southern California, reviewed 81 studies conducted since 1990 that fell into one of two categories: two-parent family studies comparing lesbian couples with heterosexual couples in terms of parenting skills and/or the psychological and social well-being of their children; and studies that compared single-mother parenting with that of single-fathers.
The researchers found that social class and educational background seemed to affect the manner in which someone parents as opposed to gender.
” ‘The bottom line is that it is the quality of parenting, not the gender of the parents, that matters for child outcomes,’ said Stacey.”
They predict the same would be true for gay men as well but there hasn’t been as much research in that area.
Norval D. Glenn, a professor in the department of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and an advisor to the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, a conservative think tank in New York City, says much more research much to be done to safely conclude same-sex parents are just as good.
What do you think: Are two Mommies as good as a Mom and Dad? Why or why not? Do you agree the quality of parenting outweighs the sex of the parent? What are your thoughts on the opposite scenario of two men?
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321 comments Add your comment
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
2:20 pm
And Jane, I’m not arguing for the sake of arguing. I’m arguing to try to expose the hypocrisy in inconsistencies of your argument.
Jeez…you sound like Betsy…..waaaiiitttt a second!
Timmy
January 28th, 2010
2:22 pm
Being in a same-sex relationship (two males) of 27 years, we have an adopted son. We both balance our household and activities and our child does not miss out on anything. Regardless if we are two males, two females, or a traditional male/female couple I don’t think most of society can get past the point of our desire of sex with the same sex. What goes on in our bedroom does not include our child. Homo’s put their pants on just like everyone else and we do an even better job at everything we do just because we are judged by so many.
Oral Roberts
January 28th, 2010
2:26 pm
C’mon now Timmy, I wouldn’t say you do everything better…child rearing, better you than me man, I’m with ya, but I bet I can throw a football better than you. I bet I can mess up laundry better than you. How do you know how everyone else puts there pants on?
Julia
January 28th, 2010
2:27 pm
Since my bird is now meowing like the cat, should I feed her cat food?
JJ
January 28th, 2010
2:28 pm
Thank you Timmy, 2Moms and all the other same sex couple bloggers today. Thank you for the uphill battles you fight each and every day. It’s because of folks like ya’ll that make this such a wonderful, diverse world.
Kudos to each of you for doing what your heart tells you to do, and standing firm. I somewhat know what you go through, as I was in an interracial marriage and have a mixed child (no it’s not the same as same sex relationships, but there is a “stigma” on mixed couples too). I for one, support you and your families and will fight with you for equality.
No I am not lesbian, nor gay, I just think EVERYONE should have the same rights. We are all HUMAN after all. We all have feelings. We all want to be loved!!!!!!
And a big thank you for chosing to be in the lives of the children you are raising. THAT is very important.
“100 years from now it will not matter how much money I had in the bank, what kind of car I drove, or where I lived. What matters is I was important in the life of a child.”
Dar
January 28th, 2010
2:30 pm
@Timmy. How dare you come in here talking all nice about love, child-rearing and pants. We were just getting to the good part of buttholes and dildos and hellfire….you, you, you MOOD KILLER!
Jesus
January 28th, 2010
2:32 pm
I am sorry Timmy but you are not coming home with me.
Jesus
January 28th, 2010
2:39 pm
100 years ago people did not realize that it was bad to smoke / cancer.. 100 years ago people did not realize it was harmful to ride with out seat belts… 100 years FROM now.. We have NO way of knowing what our life style on the next generation(s) will be in a positive way or a bad way.. We can not tell the future….
Tammy Faye Baker
January 28th, 2010
2:49 pm
Has any one seen my mascara and eye liner? I have seemed to have misplaced it.
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
2:54 pm
Jesus… you need to talk to David S. the government tells us it’s bad to smoke. the government tells us it’s harmful to ride without seat belts. the truth is; it’s bad for a human head to slam into a dashboard (seat belt or no seat belt). it’s bad to get cancer, but not all smokers get cancer, and the government warnings (initially) stated that tobacco “is known to cause cancer in laboratory rats” (I don’t smoke, so I don’t know what the current warning says). the government’s intrusion into the lifestyle choices of Americans has more to do with our lawsuit (tort reform?) driven culture AND insurance company malfeasance, than concern for the sanctity of human life. Jim Fixx wrote a book about running and died of a heart attack while running. Should Nike have to put a warning on running shoes? It’s like the current “no texting while driving” push. if the government has to ban such an obviously stupid act, we’re doomed. Last time I checked, raising a child in a loving, respectful environment, regardless of the parental configuration is not detrimental to the child (which was where this whole blog started). Abnormal is the new normal. Non-traditional is the new traditional.
Becky
January 28th, 2010
2:56 pm
@JJ, I have known about 4 people in my life (48yrs) that were adpoted and none of them had abandonment (sp) issues..
Also as JJ said, thanks to all of the same sex bloggers for giving us the info that you gave us..I don’t care if you’re same sex, black, white, pink or freaking purple, I like the person, not their lifestyle..
Realist
January 28th, 2010
3:07 pm
If humans were meant to be gay, then men could get men pregnant and women could get women pregnant.
They can’t, so guess what. THEY WEREN’T MEANT TO BE TOGETHER!!!
Jesus
January 28th, 2010
3:08 pm
Sorry Richard I did not make adam and steve I made adam and eve
Jesus
January 28th, 2010
3:09 pm
Richard are you mawking me!
Julia
January 28th, 2010
3:16 pm
Richard the world revolves around you eh?
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
3:17 pm
actually Jesus, according to the good book, YOU didn’t make anyone; you’re dad did. and if your dad is in fact the much ballyhooed (Declaration of Codependence) the “Creator” who “endowed” us ALL with certain rights, HE also created homosexuals and homosexuality. that is to sayl HE created Adam and Eve AND Adam and Steve. Are you related to Julia? now, if you’re just baiting me, touche’ SO, (Realist) why would your god create gay people if he didn’t “mean” to do so?
Julia
January 28th, 2010
3:17 pm
Wayne I about choked on my drink with that one :)
Wayne
January 28th, 2010
3:18 pm
I have a donkey! Horse too, but that’s a different story altogether…
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
3:19 pm
@Realist…..so are you saying that every homosexual is nurtured to be homosexual? Or are you saying that if they are genetically homosexual, then that is a genetic deformity (like spina bifida) , not a genetic characteristic (like blue eyes)?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
3:20 pm
@Realist…do you happen to abstain from sex when you don’t want to procreate? Or use birth control? if you do, you’re really not using sex for its intended purpose, right?
Dar
January 28th, 2010
3:24 pm
Oh no, I just ran out of ChapStick….crap…..carry on
Julia
January 28th, 2010
3:26 pm
Dar here ya go!
Dar
January 28th, 2010
3:27 pm
Hey, Tiger, what if you just pull and pray?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
3:29 pm
@dar…haven’t you heard…that’s a sin too……that’s some precious cargo there. I get weepy when I spill a drop of my crown and coke…and can only imagine the guilt associated with that!
Betsy’s going to have a field day on that one! ;-)
2moms
January 28th, 2010
3:33 pm
I have followed this throughout the day but haven’t commented since I this morning. I realy honestly am in shock that Jane thinks that ALL lesbians use dildos and want penises. Seriously do people really think this? Maybe you should climb down off that judgemental pedestal, pull that stick out of your butt and actually spend some time learning about the world. You are by far one of the most least worldly and educated people I have ever listened to and you have the right to judge me and my family. Jane, honestly I feel really bad for you and for your children. My daughter will grow up feeling safe and secure and experiencing all that the world has to offer. Not sure you can say the same.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
3:34 pm
ew
2moms
January 28th, 2010
3:36 pm
Julia…ew articulate and well said
Dar
January 28th, 2010
3:42 pm
I am not a lesbian myself so I cannot speak from experience, but I thought the idea is that they DON’T want penises. Likewise, I cannot speak from experience on dildos, but I think the idea there is that it feels good, not that it means they secretly want men’s penises. And I do not think that gay men are closing their eyes and imagining they are having sex with a vagina. Not sure what to say about a stick up the butt, perhaps some people enjoy it but most probably need to remove theirs.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
3:45 pm
@DAR….way to keep it on point!!! I SALUTE YOU!!!!
iRun
January 28th, 2010
3:46 pm
Man, why does everyone go straight to the bedroom when we’re talking about gays? 99% of the gay person’s life is spent NOT having sex…just like most of us. And being gay, from what I can tell, isn’t just about being sexually attracted to the same sex. It’s also about mental and emotional connections.
So, man, in the same direction Timmy was going…ANY parent who brings their kind to the bedroom with them doesn’t deserve to be a parent…and I’m not including “The Sex Talk” here.
2mom, right! Right? What a pornographic view of things Jane has! What a gutter mind. Because OBVIOUSLY you and your partner break out the strap-on as soon as the kids are asleep.
Sheesh.
Dar
January 28th, 2010
3:49 pm
I just cannot pass on an opportunity to use words like “penis,” “dildo,” and “butt.” And in a public forum no less. George Carlin would be so proud.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
3:50 pm
@iRun…you hit the nail on the head…from what I can tell…sex that these people find distasteful (pun intended) is THE cornerstone of their argument.
@Dar…woudln’t it be great if Carlin could opine on this blog…may he rest in peace!
Dar
January 28th, 2010
3:51 pm
Yeah, I concur with what iRun said….but I still had fun saying dildo and penis and butt. Cheers to all.
iRun
January 28th, 2010
3:53 pm
Sorry, I meant “ANY parent who brings their KID to the bedroom…”
bleh
iRun
January 28th, 2010
3:54 pm
Oh, let me never be the one to discourage the use of fun and scandalous words like “penis”.
penispenispenispenispenispenis.
I tell you though I have a hard time getting my son to call his penis a penis. He gets all squirmy and acts like he’s saying a bad word and would rather call it his “twig and berries”. Because THAT is so less rude than penis. :rolleyes: Yet, he can talk about his bathroom habits all day long.
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
4:02 pm
Julia, no, the world does not revolve around me. It revolves around the sun (not the Son, unless you mean W, who was the son of G.H.W. Bush). Tiger, I never met George Carlin, but I don’t believe dildo or penis were on “the list” – he’d only be proud if someone slipped one of the “7″ into the blog. and interestingly enough, while none of the seven include parts of the male anatomy, two of the seven refer to parts of the female anatomy. go figure.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
4:03 pm
@DAR…in addition to dildo, penis, and butt….we’ve added “strap on” to our list! Reminds me, I wonder Netflix delivered season 5 of Weeds to me today.
3 or 4?
January 28th, 2010
4:09 pm
2moms – “You are by far one of the most least worldly and educated people I have ever listened to and you have the right to judge me and my family. ”
Are you sure you’re well educated?
“most least”
you can’t “listen to” someone posting messages to an online blog
I do respect that you acknowledge that he does in fact have “the right to judge you”. Anyone displaying this kind of deviant behaviour and harming a child does in fact deserve harsh judgment.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
4:14 pm
@ 3 or 4…are you married?
Julia
January 28th, 2010
4:17 pm
Richard you are a jack ass and self absorbed
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
4:21 pm
sorry Julia, like Chris Matthews, I got so worked up, I forgot I was a self absorbed jack ass. Good comeback. here’s mine: I’m rubber, you’re glue. whatever you say (blog) bounces off of me and sticks to you. Or, I know you are, but what am I?
iRun
January 28th, 2010
4:23 pm
You know, while we’re talking about the “roles” men and women play in their children’s lives let us revisit these roles. I mean, what does this mean? Does it mean the same thing today as it did in the 1970s? Should it?
Exhibit A: Katherine Switzer – http://www.katherineswitzer.com/life.shtml
JATL
January 28th, 2010
4:33 pm
OF COURSE two same-sex parents are just as good as two different sex parents!!! I’ve seen it proven time and time again. I guess it depends on where you live as to whether there’s a stigma. In my neighborhood we have a number of gay families who are doing a great job -both two mommies and two daddies -and there’s no stigma. I think only small-minded ignoramuses would attach a stigma to children because they had two gay parents. Remember -all of you who were freaking out about Haitian orphans a few days ago -unless they went the sperm donor or surrogate route, these folks have taken in unwanted kids and given them loving homes!
JATL
January 28th, 2010
4:43 pm
@Jane -from countless other posts you’ve shown us what a judgemental, self-righteous moron you are, but today’s entry takes the cake! I’m not gay, but I think YOU and those like you are the disgusting perversion! Sometimes your posts are so vitriolic I think you must be Vork or someone in disguise to flame up the board. If you’re real, I pity you and anyone who has to live with you. Perhaps you should purchase an enormous dildo and see if you can release some of that hostility!
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
4:52 pm
I posed this question earlier and never got an answer from any anti-same sex advocates….so I’ll post it again.
How has Vermont’s allowance of same sex couples to marry AFFECTED (thanks professor) the sanctity of your marriage or the values you teach to your children?
Jeff
January 28th, 2010
4:53 pm
I knew what I wrote would make some women angry. But it’s always those women who met a bad man then want to clasify all men into that category and I refuse to let that slide. All absent fathers did not walk away.
3 or 4?
January 28th, 2010
4:57 pm
I agree, all too often it’s the woman forcing the man away. She never wants to hear from him again, except when it’s payday.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
4:57 pm
In all fairness Jeff, you did say “BTW, thank ALL the single moms this last generation for raising confused young men. They are being the man you made them in to”
You didn’t make any qualifiers there…you basically pinned the responsbility of “raising confused young men” entirely on ALL single moms.
If you want to back off that statement, that’s one thing, but if you don’t, it’s pretty contradictory to blame ALL single moms on the problem then turn around and concede that there are absent fathers who just walked away and not save some scorn for them.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
5:02 pm
@3 or 4 and Jeff…you’re not doing much to convince me that heteros have cornered the market on successful marriages and parenting to the point that homosexuals couldn’t do AT LEAST as good of a job.
FCM
January 28th, 2010
5:03 pm
OH WOW! I certainly did not read all 248 posts to this topic before joinint the fray!
My personal and religious opinion is why the hell wouldn’t they. You do not need a pecker to make a good parent. You do not need ovaries to make a good parent. You do however need both to create a child!
As to Adam and Eve/Cain& Able etc: What if you realize that there are 2 creation stories shared in the Bible. (Genesis 1 & Genesis 2) The one says God created Man & Woman then all the other animals. The second says God created the animals and then Man and then Woman. OBVIOUSLY they cannot both be right. Both are there though…so why? Well again, this is where those of my faith (Disciple of Christ, Christian Church for those of you who care) says that is why we are all STUDENTS in constant study and reflection on the Word. We are to determine for ourselves what is being told. Then we share our thoughts and tell you to think about it and make up your own mind (which is probably why I love to read Tiger and Richard and am not threatened by them nor feel a need to argue why I believe what I do.)
I have indeed spent a great deal of time studying the bible. I will continue to do so.
One of the main things I wanted to learn is why is homosexuality considered so horrible a “sin”. I found I didn’t believe it was a sin at all, at least not any more than my conduct of having hetro- sex outside the bounds of having a fully committed relationship—notice I did not say marriage. If two different gender people never have their relationship “blessed” in church BUT live in a fully committed relationship of 50 years I think God blesses it. Only God knows the hearts of men.
Anyway my take on A&E et al: They are representatives of the people of their time. They were probably not the only ones in Eden (which I do believe probably existed in some fashion). They are probably a composite of people of their time. Something “evil” did lure them to break the original Covenant with God. So they did fall from His grace. They (the entire people) did find that had to leave Eden and He did show them His mercy by making it not as rough as it could have been. Thus when they had Cain and Able, those sons would have found daughters to procreate with. Or have you never noticed the decided LACK of INFORMATION on females in the Bible? For instance you seldom hear about the wives of the Disciples, but other records of the time show some of them were married. I think Saul/Paul could have even be a Eunch for that matter, or possibly just not interested in sex. He has some decidedly interesting comments on the subject for an otherwise healthy male.
Children were sacrificed in the times…in fact live babies were buried in the foundations of housing and certain (not Hebrew) temples. This was to aid in the luck/grace of the people dwelling/worshiping within. Abraham being told to forgo Isaac for the ram provided (at the last minute) is why Hebrew people knew not to sacrifice children. Unfortunately this did not catch on in mainstream society until much, much later (look it up). This of course was another Covenant. OH and do not forget that Abraham passed Sarah off as his sister not once but twice.
So does any of that make my “religion” (Christianity) a fairy tale. NOPE. It also doesn’t rule what kind of parents make good ones or bad ones. I think those that provide safe, clean, loving homes, that raise children to be secure, responsible, productive ADULTS are good parents. If that is 2 men, 2 women, one of each, or Me (single parent remember) then so be it. Certainly children should have role models from both genders but that wasn’t what we were discussing now was it?