Are two Mommies as good as a Mom and a Dad?
Same-sex couples are just as good at raising well-adjusted, healthy kids as heterosexual couples according a new study published in the February issue of the Journal of Marriage and Family.
According to HealthDay on Yahoo:
” ‘There’s a deeply held and widespread view out there that children need both a mother and a father to do well,’ said study author Judith Stacey, a professor of sociology and of social and cultural analysis at New York University in New York City. ‘And it seems to be a bipartisan conviction — with a lot of public policy based on that premise — since literally both President Bush and President Obama have said exactly that.’ ”
“ ‘But the point is that this orthodoxy is supposedly supported not just by a belief, but by actual research,’ Stacey noted. ‘Yet we found that, in fact, there is no research that shows that children need both a mother and a father. And we looked everywhere.’ “
Stacey and study co-author Timothy J. Biblarz, chairman of the sociology department at the University of Southern California, reviewed 81 studies conducted since 1990 that fell into one of two categories: two-parent family studies comparing lesbian couples with heterosexual couples in terms of parenting skills and/or the psychological and social well-being of their children; and studies that compared single-mother parenting with that of single-fathers.
The researchers found that social class and educational background seemed to affect the manner in which someone parents as opposed to gender.
” ‘The bottom line is that it is the quality of parenting, not the gender of the parents, that matters for child outcomes,’ said Stacey.”
They predict the same would be true for gay men as well but there hasn’t been as much research in that area.
Norval D. Glenn, a professor in the department of sociology at the University of Texas at Austin and an advisor to the Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values, a conservative think tank in New York City, says much more research much to be done to safely conclude same-sex parents are just as good.
What do you think: Are two Mommies as good as a Mom and Dad? Why or why not? Do you agree the quality of parenting outweighs the sex of the parent? What are your thoughts on the opposite scenario of two men?
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321 comments Add your comment
Julia
January 28th, 2010
12:18 pm
Aww Tiger – you just showed your true colors.. you are not a tiger you are a chicken :)
N
January 28th, 2010
12:19 pm
As I read through some of these posts I get so frustrated. I was just discussing this point with my wife yesterday, and by the way I AM A WOMAN. Our daughter, who is my biological daughter from a hetero sexual encounter, is so much more secure and confident since her step mother and I were married 9 months ago. I fully believe that what matters to all children is that they have a stable household, with married parents who engage in healthy and consistent parenting styles. Sexual orientation is not the core issue. Gay Marriage rights are not the core issue. The core issue is the child/children. Children thrive in secure and stable environments. The fact that my daughter’s father is a “tool” to put it nicely and demonstrates no interest in being her parent expect when he wants to manipulate me only served to create a negative emotional response. Now she knows everyday when she wakes up that she has 2 adults she can count on to love, protect and provide for her. This is what helps her thrive.
Someone posted…you have a daughter. a boy needs a man. Well I can not say that I disagree. But all children need a man. All children need to observe positive relationships between people. We as married women have an obligation to ensure our child has exposure to healthy relationshoips of all types. And that is where her Godfather and his wife come in, my 4 brother-in-laws and there wives, her friends’ families, etc. All families are different, hetero, homo, trans-it does not matter. The bigger influence is culture, communication styles, social adaptaion. etc. As parents we all have an obligation to ensure our children have positive exposure to all types of families, from all walks of life.
Marriage is the key-stability, equality, communication, etc-regardless of sexuality
iRun
January 28th, 2010
12:21 pm
@No Way, I know women over the age of 40 have children all the time. But, the last time I had one I was 26 and I’m a good bit older than that now. And despite the millions of women who do have children when they are of “advance maternal age” and those children are perfectly healthy I think, for me, I feel enough combo of (1) a bit of anxiety about the age and preggo thing, along with (2) not really want to be pregnant – would ruin my marathon training. So, if we do decide to expand our family I beleive we will go the adoption route.
I am not naive to the issues of adopted children. I have several friends who have adopted, for various reasons.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
12:23 pm
@julia….not the same…I think what makes us primarily different is evolved brain function….you were making the “humans are superior” argument based on the food chain thing. I just think that was weak reasoning.
Jeff
January 28th, 2010
12:27 pm
If there isn’t a daddy in the house, how does a child know (see) what a daddy is supposed to act like. A mom CANNOT take the place of a dad because she is going act the way she WISHES a father would act and that is not the same. Then we end up with boys who grow up the way a woman wishes men would be and girls who grow up with a warped sense of what a husband will be like.
BTW, thank all the single moms this last generation for raising confused young men. They are being the man you made them in to.
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
12:33 pm
Julia, how can I explain this to you? you said Homosexuality is “against nature” or “not natural”. got it? YOU cited “natural law” to support your belief that homosexuality is wrong (not natural). I simply suggested that if you are going to argue based on what your understanding of Mother Nature suggests, then you’d better re-calibrate your moral compass, as incest and cannibalism are quite “natural” (and when I say “natural” I include homosapiens). let’s say you are right and I am wrong. let’s say your god created Adam and Eve (who created Cain and Abel). were Cain and Abel gay, or did they just “procreate” with their mom (ewwww)? OR, does Genesis simply not dwell on Cain and Abel’s female siblings, because… well, if it weren’t Eve, then Cain and Abel had to (re)produce Homosapien v. 3.0 with their sisters (equally ewwww). You can’t have it both ways (unless, of course, you’re theologically bi-sexual). either behaviors (homosexuality, incest, canbibalism, homicide) are “natural” or they are not. You can’t say “homosexuality is wrong because it’s not natural” (because it is – like incest, cannibalism and homicide – natural throughout the natural world (including homosapiens). you can deem any of these behaviors “morally” wrong, or “contrary to God’s laws” but I would send you back to my Adam and Eve comments.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
12:35 pm
@julia…actually..not even a chicken…just not drinking the religious Kool-Aid.
Denise
January 28th, 2010
12:40 pm
I see “if a child doesn’t see a father in the house how will he/she know how a man is supposed to act”. Makes sense. However, what if said father is abusive to his wife and children, won’t hold down a job, won’t get off the couch, won’t do anything to better the lives of his children? What kind of role model is he? A lot of people who were abused also become abusers. Does it make the mother a bad person if she removed that man from his children’s lives? Not to me, that says SHE has her children’s best interest at heart even though HE does not.
Betsy
January 28th, 2010
12:50 pm
Again (surprise), Tiger is judging others and making fun of their religious beliefs: “Just not drinking the religious kool-Aid.”
Making fun of those of us who do believe in God and a higher power? That’s really classy. For all your “wit” and “sarcasm”, you’re really just a pitiful person with no hope for the future. You live a sad life.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
12:52 pm
You guys, I will not get into the petty pissing contest of I am right – you are right. You have your beliefs and I have mine. You will fight to your death on your beliefs as I will do the same. I am going to stand on the … I will just wait for the second coming of Christ to see.
Dar
January 28th, 2010
12:56 pm
@Jeff said “BTW, thank all the single moms this last generation for raising confused young men. They are being the man you made them in to.”
Wow, did you really say that? Normally I like to stick to the issues and not an individual poster’s comments, but yours has shocked me. Do you really think this? Perhaps you should first thank all of the men who walked out of their son’s lives and left a woman alone to raise him. I did not choose to be a single mom raising a son. Luckily I have a great BF now who is a wonderful role model of what a “real” man and father should be because my son’s biological father, who wasn’t the best before he left, absolutely sucks now as a dad. Gimme your e-mail address and I will send you his contact information so you can thank him personally, in advance, for any problems my son has in the future as a result.
Ben
January 28th, 2010
12:57 pm
To SJ-
So those are your options huh? They either go to a drug-abusing straight couple or a nice lesbian couple. Hey, heres an idea. How ’bout they go to a nice, caring, educated straight couple?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
12:57 pm
Betsy…so good to see you’re hear and keeping me in line! Come on now..I serve a vital purpose in your life. Let’s face it…I make you feel better about yourself. You get such obvious joy in telling me how I’m going to hell and am destined to live a sad pathetic life that you should be THANKING me for being. But don’t worry, I won’t get on you to actually say..I know what’s in your heart as well as you know what’s in my heart…suffice it to say….YOUR WELCOME!
Donna P.
January 28th, 2010
12:58 pm
My parents divorced when I was a year old. I saw my dad a total of 5 times during my first 18 years of life; my mother didn’t want him around us. Having a single mom back in the 1970’s in rural Virginia was a no-no. I was teased (even at church) and my mother was thought of as a deviant (even though she wasn’t). Times have changed but I would have liked to have known my father growing up even with his flaws. I think anyone who wants to make a commitment to a rear a child should be treated with respect. It is a difficult job. I’m a married Republican woman (no kids) and I don’t see anything wrong with homosexuals marrying and having children. What is wrong with wanting happy, well-adjusted children in America? I would like future generations to be that.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
12:59 pm
((((DAR))))
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
12:59 pm
Julia, shhhhhhhhh; don’t tell anyone I told you this, but pedophilia/child molestation, rape, incest and cannibalism DO exist in the homosapien world (and to varying degrees are accepted – if not endorsed by certain cultures, as are polygamy, genital mutilation, and arraged marriages). your position seems to suggest that were it not for your god, these things would be OK, as they are obviously OK with some of the people who do not worship your god. (some) Muslims, believe they will will be rewarded for martyrdom with 73 virgins. are you OK with this? Muslims ALSO believe that homosexuality is sinful and deviant. are you suggesting that sometimes “natural law” and god’s law are in sync, but other times they are not – and we need Pat Robertson, Ossama bin Laden or the Pope to let us know the score?
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:06 pm
Richard (again) I will not get into the petty pissing contest of I am right – you are right. You have your beliefs and I have mine. You will fight to your death on your beliefs as I will do the same. I am going to stand on the … I will just wait for the second coming of Christ to see.
LarryM
January 28th, 2010
1:09 pm
NO.
RJ
January 28th, 2010
1:09 pm
@N, how are you sure that your daughter is okay with your decision? I have taught many kids whose parents decided to live a homosexual lifestyle after being in a heterosexual relationship. It was very painful for them. I honestly don’t get having a child and then making the decision to live a gay lifestyle. It’s as selfish as the woman that goes to the sperm bank in my opinion. And your daughter will miss the influence of her dad if he’s not a part of her life. You say he’s trying to manipulate you, but how does she really feel. Adults put ideas in kids heads and cause them to dislike the other parent. It’s wrong. If she decides based on his actions (without your input) that she wants nothing more to do with him then fine. But if you’re feeding her negative thoughts, she’ll agree with you to keep the peace. Kids confide in me often, and I’m amazed at the selfishness of parents. For your daughter’s sake, I hope that’s not the case in your home.
JJ
January 28th, 2010
1:18 pm
No Way – Oh I had to chime in on your comment about your “adopted” friend.
We adoptees don’t all have abandonment issues, nor are we feeling lost, and searing for our bio Parents. Your friend is a 1 in a 1,000 case. She does not speak for all adoptees………her situation is different than mine.
I was adopted 50 years ago, as was my brother 48 years ago. NEITHER of us have abandonment issues, NEITHER of us want to find our bio parents, and we have always felt like part of OUR family. We were both told we were adopted at an early age, I was 8, he was 6.
We were raised in a loving home, by two parents who could not have children, and chose to adopt. My bio mom made a very difficult decision to give me a better life than she could provide, as did my bother’s bio parents. We have always known that. I am thankful that she did make that decision and I am a very happy, well adjusted, normal person. So is my brother (we do NOT have the same bio parents). Both of us are productive members of society, he is in law enforcement and I am in office management. We both know that we are loved by our parents. The love flowed in our home……my parents had NEVER referred to us as their “adopted children”. We are their kids, and they raised us with plenty of love.
We were CHOSEN by our adoptive parents, who, as far as I’m concerned, concieved me. Neither my brother nor I have EVER wanted to find our bio parents, they don’t exist to us. My mom has told both of us over and over if we want to search, she will support us. Both of us have said NO absolutely NOT.
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
1:18 pm
interesting metaphor (’pissing contest’). pissing on trees is a behavior many species exhinit for the purpose of marking territory (just as some convicts will rape another to claim him as property), but since you favor the Bible over all other examples of human behavior (you’re doing all this in anticipation of the ’second coming’), please answer my questions about Genesis. I’d love to use the Bible as my guide, but I just can’t seem to decide if I am an “eye for an eye” person or a “turn the other cheek” person? please advise. actually, why don’t we just agree to disagree and we can let Tim Tebow sort it all out for us.
For Jane
January 28th, 2010
1:18 pm
Jane,
Regarding your earlier comment of “outsiders”…I wasn’t aware this public forum was only for use by the “regulars”. Perhaps this topic is simply one that more people feel passionate enough about to post a reply. You are apparently a “regular”…do you not find it nice to get opinions you’ve not heard before? I love reading the AJC blogs in all categories. I rarely post, but they are fun to skim through.
@aquagirl, the “mammoth” comment made my day. That was hilarious and well put.
David S
January 28th, 2010
1:19 pm
Nature has already decided this question. Its takes an egg and a sperm to make a child. Two women or two men cannot provide this.
Just because someone has made the choice of homosexuality does not mean that they need to choose to be a parent. Yes, I said choice. Deal with it.
Plenty of children end up in situations where one parent must raise them. The single parent will do the best they can and the child will deal. This does not prevent the outside influence and role model contribution of someone of the opposite sex and this influence and contribution should be sought out. There is certainly nothing but selfish motives behind the woman who chooses to become pregnant with the specific intent of raising a child alone. This kind of behavior has no place in a civilized society.
Today we analyze previous studies in order to find supporting evidence that everything is ok in a society which promotes both the destruction of the heterosexual family unit and promotes the unbiased acceptance of the homosexual family and something akin to normal. It is not.
Horrible heterosexual parents are a dime a dozen, and my disagreement with the results of this study are certainly not a blind endorcement of heterosexuals and somehow predisposed to good parenting.
The roles and influence of parents and local society are being undermined every day through government school indoctrination and government involvement in virtually every facet of human existence.
If we want better parents, no matter what their sex, we must restore the parent to the supreme role in a child’s life and get government out of everyone’s.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:24 pm
Richard, I will be the one to take the high road… have a good day
Lori
January 28th, 2010
1:24 pm
Again, people are getting way off the topic at hand. We’re not discussing if gays are good people or even good parents. There are good gay and hetero parents, just like there are bad ones. That’s not what this discussion is about. There are MILLIONS of bad parents out there – gay, straight, male, female. Get past that.
The basic topic – is it good for a child to have both a male and female role model in their lives (not a friend, but a father and mother)? No, we’re not talking about abusive dads or crack addict moms. Just basic parenting – you know what we’re talking about, some of you just want to argue in order to see yourself argue.
The answer for this topic is simply yes. Sometimes it is not possible for a mother and father to be in the family – fine. But, a child is better off with both role models. To deny this is to just put your personal agenda ahead of reality.
Jane
January 28th, 2010
1:25 pm
Gays are simply a perversion of what we were created to be.
Man was not given a penis in order to stick it in another man’s butthole, which was designed to push waste out of.
Lesbians like using dildos and other toys on each other – they’re admiting the need for a penis, but are creating one themselves. Showing that they know they should actually be having sexual relations with men and using REAL penises.
These sick and perverse people should not be role models for young children. It’s disgusting.
Joia
January 28th, 2010
1:26 pm
The problem with the studies is the definition of the outcomes. It is unknown the long term effect of same-sex parents on children, society, culture, etc. There isn’t enough history to say, and most of us will not be here in 100 years to find out. Same-sex couples do not procreate. What will be the cumulative effect over time of relationships that do not normally occur? You can make a prediction, but you just don’t know.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:27 pm
Hey Lori…you never answered my question…is it better for a child to live in one house or city from K-12 with a stable family or be moved around every two years? There is a point to my question if I can get the simple answer from you.
Lori
January 28th, 2010
1:29 pm
@Tiger – obviously a stable family would be preferable. HOWEVER, sometimes that can’t be avoided and the parents do the best they can. Moving around every other year just to screw up a child is wrong. As is intentionally not providing a child with an acceptable male and female role model.
A true, caring parent knows – what’s best for your child comes first. Period. PERIOD. A mother and father is best for a child for developmental purposes.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:30 pm
Joia great point… that will be interesting
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:30 pm
hey lori…there are some very hetero women who enjoy anal sex…..how would you classify them?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:31 pm
I’m sorry…I meant the anal sex question to be directed at jane.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:32 pm
Jesus can you just please come today
Lori
January 28th, 2010
1:33 pm
@Tiger – clearly you don’t care about real discussion. You just like to argue and I’ve decided you’re not worth my time anymore. When you grow up, I’d be happy to discuss things with you.
Did you not get enough attention when you were younger?
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:33 pm
Tiger, so military families or missionaries are bad parents??
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:27 pm
Hey Lori…you never answered my question…is it better for a child to live in one house or city from K-12 with a stable family or be moved around every two years? There is a point to my question if I can get the simple answer from you.
JJ
January 28th, 2010
1:36 pm
So Jane, using a dildo, or vibrator is sick and perverted? I guess you’ve never used any “toys”?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:36 pm
No my point is let’s not equate “bad” for a kid with “easy” for a kid. I grew up in a military household. I went to 9 different schools between K and 12. It was not easy. But out of that adversity came diversity and positive exposure to a world that other kids didn’t get. I think kid of same sex marriages have it tougher, but out of that, they have a chance to see things from a completely different point of view that can be very beneficial and rewarding over kids with “traditional” families.
Richard Swingin
January 28th, 2010
1:36 pm
David S, please define “heterosexual family unit”. is that the Clinto model, the Mark Sanders model? the John Edwards model?, or is it the Jim and Tammy Faye Baker model? or the JFK-Jackie model? Or, is it the old Elton John (was married to a woman) model? It sounds like you are OK with homosexuals or bi-sexual men, as long as they exist (procreate) as part of a two parent/heterosexual home? Have you ever heard the expression “down low”? There are MANY homosexual men who CHOOSE to live heterosexual lives (marriage, kids, golden retriever), and there are probably more heterosexual men who CHOOSE to be unfaithful to their wives. You need to hook up with Julia, so the pond is stocked with healthy, heterosexual offspring and not deviant homosexual types.
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
1:39 pm
@Lori…what did I say to make you think I wasn’t having a serious debate?
P F
January 28th, 2010
1:39 pm
NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. NO. AND NO.
Jane
January 28th, 2010
1:54 pm
JJ – a woman using them for fun, enhancing sex is fine. But using them while stating that when they’re on a man they’re bad is wrong.
Tiger – I see you like arguing just to argue. Anal sex is fine male/female if they want it. Again, I’m saying to substitute a man’s butt for a vagina just because a guy thinks a hole on a woman is bad is wrong.
Man & woman sexual organs were made to unite. To substitute other things just shows you’re despirate.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
1:56 pm
Right now this is some very serious issues of confusion of whom is whom!!
My freaking african gray has learned to meow like the cat!!!
bsm330
January 28th, 2010
1:58 pm
Children are born into this world with every opportunity to become great human beings. Regardless of sex, intelligent responsible citizens should be allowed to raise children. The role of the parent(s) is the same regardless of sex. It may be easier to ignore history than realize that homosexuality is part of life, but those individuals who practice it should have every right of any american citizen. Some would believe me to be an activist. I am not an activist nor am I homosexual. I am a college educated individual who can see the wrongs of the world we live in. If you disagree with the idea that these individuals do not share these rights, then you are truly rejecting the american spirit. Maybe, we should then repeal the right for women to vote,and revoke the discrimination policies that took so long to provide the inalienable rights this country was founded upon for all citizens.
Dar
January 28th, 2010
2:01 pm
I am sooooooo glad I signed on today. Lesbians, gays, cannibals, incestuous relationships, buttholes, dildos, anal sex…..if we can get some oral, fisting and a donkey show all the bases should be covered. Glad I brought some snack mix for the festivities. Proceed.
Sex Police
January 28th, 2010
2:03 pm
Jane, we’re looking for busybodies who think they know what’s “good” and “normal” for everyone; please apply ASAP, as you have ample qualification.
Pay and benefits are excellent, it’s tough to find recruits with such narcissistic self-delusion.
Julia
January 28th, 2010
2:11 pm
Dar I have the koolaid if you will share your snacks :)
Dar
January 28th, 2010
2:15 pm
Always happy to share with you, Julia. :)
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
2:17 pm
@Jane…I’m REALLY confused! I thought that SEX was for PROCREATION. Thats why men and women together follow the NATURAL ORDER…right? Anal sex between a MAN and WOMAN can NEVER result in PROCREATION, but it’s ok for you Jane. So if it can’t result in life, wouldn’t that suggest that sex is about more than just procreation?
Tiger needs me on his PR team
January 28th, 2010
2:17 pm
@Dar..I DIG YOU!!!!!
Oral Roberts
January 28th, 2010
2:19 pm
I agree that we should stick to raditions as America has so many great ones…ie slavery, salem witch trials, separate but equal, Japanese internment, and dog fighting just to name a few. Luckily those traditions wouldn’t mess up a child like those evil gays and their deviant behavior!