Will your husband carry your purse?

TMZ posted this recent photo of Miley Cyrus’ boyfriend carrying her purse, and it made me wonder if other men will carry purses for the wives or girlfriends.

I have to say that Michael would NEVER under any circumstances carry my purse. We have been together 18 years this month, and I’m saying he has NEVER carried my purse. He won’t even carry my luggage if I use any floral bags.

To get him to carry the diaper bag I had to switch to a red backpack. He wouldn’t even carry a black diaper bag if it was in the shape of a regular diaper bag.

Will your husband carry your purse? What about the diaper bag? Does he care if it has flowers on it or girly colors? Does he complain about doing it?

52 comments Add your comment

Rod

January 11th, 2010
3:31 pm

I usually hold my wife’s purse when we’re shopping and she wants to try something on. I’d rather do that than to risk it disappearing while she’s out showing the outfit to me or getting something else to try on. (I hold the bag down by my side by the straps – I DON’T put it on my shoulder!)

I’m also willing to buy “feminine products” when I’m at the grocery store – for her.

I really don’t see why guys have a hang up about this. It doesn’t make you any less of a man – it actually says: “Hey, I’ve got a woman.”

Becky

January 11th, 2010
3:31 pm

I don’t know about a purse..I guess he would if I were to ask him, I don’t think he would just offer to carry it..He never had any problem carrying a diaper bag and there was no way around not carrying one..When you have twins, you have to have more than your hands..

Jess

January 11th, 2010
3:36 pm

He’ll hold it if I am putting on my coat or doing something that momentarily reqires the use of both of my arms but frankly I don’t need him to carry it around for me, I am perfectly capeable.

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
3:45 pm

My husband would carry any of those things for me. Problem is, if he put any of them down he would not remember where they were….just like his keys, cell phone or wallet.

It is precisely why we started having separate accounts as I had to know that my credit card was good and that it had not been cancelled as it our joint account had a credit card misplaced. I pretty much have to rent a car or pay for a hotel room with a credit card.

As my sister tells me, “it is what it is…” My husband misplaces things more than several times each week and I am not looking for them anymore. Too much time wasted. The kids get the picture too and roll their eyes at me. I am usually good about putting things away as I will know where they are.

I am a nutcase about knowing where my purse is and even sleep with it next to the bed. This is due to having a smoke alarm go off in the middle of the night at a hotel. I threw on my robe and grabbed my room key and purse. Thankfully, it was a false alarm but I just strolled back to my room while dozens of other guests stood at the front desk with no room key or ID and looking ridiculous in their jammies with bed hair :D!!!

If heaven forbid, our house caught on fire here….I have the means to pay for a hotel, clothes , rental car food etc. as my credit card is in my purse and with me as soon as I run out the door. It might take a while for the insurance money to show up!

FCM

January 11th, 2010
3:46 pm

Well the last BF I had (and the others previous) would watch my purse for me…meaning it sat at the table while I got up. They would hold it like Jess mentions. I cannot recall needing them to carry it. My eldest child likes to carry my purse (even when she has her own with her) to help me out. Sometimes I let her.

Diaper bag lived in the car with a diaper and travel wipes going into business with me. My ex worked the Ramp at Delta so he could careless about what luggage, diaperbags etc looked like. To him they were just parcels to be hauled from car to house or hotel or wherever.

...

January 11th, 2010
3:48 pm

Why does Michael have these wierd hang ups? I am a man and am not so insecure in my masculinity that I would refuse to hold my wife’s purse for a few minutes and certainly not a diaper bag.

What does he think will happen if someone sees him?

One thing that does get on my nerves is my wife asking me to hold things for her because she lacks pockets. I already have my phone, wallet, knife, pen, and other things I might need in my pockets. If you wanted to bring along your wallet oor keys or whatever, you should have either worn pants with pockets or brought your purse, my pockets are full.

But, I usually do take them and just get annoyed.

...

January 11th, 2010
3:50 pm

I do remember standing in line at the grocery store with a huge carton of diapers under one arm and a big box of tampons under the other. I was casually looking at a magazine when I noticed teh cute clerk smiling at me. For a split second I thought, “I still got it”, and then I remembered the tampons and diapers. I muttered, “I used to be cool”.

YUKI

January 11th, 2010
3:54 pm

I love Rod’s answer. My husband will hold the diaper bag (I have had several, I like to switch it up) but I don’t even ask him to hold my purse. No doubt there would be a complaint so I just don’t bother. I guess it would make him feel like a girly man….

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 11th, 2010
3:54 pm

that’s funny!!!

Becky

January 11th, 2010
3:58 pm

@Rod, my husband also would buy those things for me..Thank goodness now (and for a long time) I haven’t needed them..

@…that’s cute..I don’t ever ask my husband to carry my keys for me..Or anything for that matter..I don’t think since I was 7 years old that I have went anywhere without a purse..

BlondeHoney

January 11th, 2010
4:00 pm

My ex didn’t mind holding my purse, but NEVER in 20 years of marriage would he buy feminine products for me. @… 3:50 post…TOO FUNNY :)

Sunshine

January 11th, 2010
4:02 pm

My boyfriend will carry if I ask him to. He also will hold onto my debit card/money if I ask him. He’s not embarrassed about buying woman’s products if I tell him what to get. I’m the one embarrassed about it though.. lol. Nothing bothers him like that.

Albert

January 11th, 2010
4:03 pm

Clearly, in Miley’s case, she felt comfortable letting Liam Cyrus carry her bag and not worry about (must not have had any $100 bills in it). Liam also, seemed to enjoy carrying it, the way he comfortably swaggered while doing so. I will never volunteer to carry the bag, but, if for protection, I’ll supervise it, and if I have to move it I will treat it like I’m carrying a football. Never will I ever put it over my shoulder, no matter how much it weighs or how much money is in it. If it gets heavy, I’ll simply drag it by its straps until the owner gets disgusted and takes it over. Here’s my reason why: Women go to excessive lengths to get very feminine bags, not taking into consideration the male point of view. They also put everything in it, instead of only taking what is necessary for the date. If a woman goes out on a date and expects a man to carry her bag, at least she should put some forethought into the type of bag and the contents in the bag, so the man is considered. Otherwise, the woman is only showing disrepect and lack of feeling toward her partner. Booya!

...

January 11th, 2010
4:06 pm

Well Albert, I wouldn’t walk around all day with my wife’s purse, but I can hold it while she goes to the bathroom or what-have-you.

DB

January 11th, 2010
4:07 pm

The DH will hold my purse for me if my hands are full — but usually, he will just take whatever is in my hands and leave the purse! The times he has held a purse has usually been carefully — at arms length — as if it had a bomb in it or something. :-)

As far as buying personal products — He probably would, if I asked. I just don’t think I’ve ever had a reason to ask! Heck, *I* get confused standing in front of those shelves — I can imagine what his reaction would be!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
4:13 pm

this is totally one of those things that I do NOT do….no purse carrying for me. If she needs to carry so much crap that it requires a bag….then she can carry it. I get by on just a wallet.

This did make me think of other things that I fully admit are just stupid guy things that I can’t shake. I don’t ride shotgun in the car when she drives. I drive. Not sure why that is…probably because I’m a guy overly wrapped up in my own image of masculinity. but then again, I also don’t use her anti-perspirant either….it may be strong enough for me…but it’s made for her. Same with soap and shampoo. I’m a Zest guy…Dove drives me nuts. I don’t want to smell like the “fresh” aisle at Target. Funny though…she won’t use my soap either and GOD HELP US if she has to use regular run of the mill soap instead of the fancy golden bottled stuff to wash her face.

I guess there are all kinds of things that make us feel more in touch with our gender…..my biggest problem with the purse thing is that every time I see a guy carrying his wife’s purse, I’m thinking he probably just wants to make sure that his “manhood” is being properly protected in the hopes that she might take it out of her purse and give it back to him after they get home…..if he’s a good boy.

Be Nice

January 11th, 2010
4:45 pm

Theresa–Your husband needs to get over it. Maybe he’s insecure with his masculinity or has other issues. I would think most secure men wouldn’t care if they are holding a diaper bag meant for their own child(ren). As for your purse, I’d only ask my husband to hold mine for a sec and that’s usually not an issue.

penguinmom

January 11th, 2010
4:48 pm

I don’t often carry a purse so that’s not an issue really. I understand not wanting to carry a purse. I can’t understand the diaper bag thing. Really? My husband preferred it if the diaper bag was black but, seriously, you’re not carrying the thing without having a kid around so no one is going to think, ‘oh look at that man who likes pastel flowers.’ I really don’t understand the luggage. Again, not happening in a vacuum. You are there, probably kids too, so no one will think it is actually *his* luggage.

I guess I just don’t worry that much what other people think. What they think is their problem not mine. You need to be secure enough in who you are and what you are doing to not think about what others are thinking.

Michelle

January 11th, 2010
4:49 pm

He will hold my purse if needed, and sometimes, if I’m trying to do several things at once and don’t ask for help, he’ll actually take it so I don’t drop it. He will sometimes put his stuff in there too (sunglasses, wallet, keys). As for the diaper bag, ours were pretty masculine, but I think he would. Everyone knows the wives normally pick out a majority of the baby stuff anyway! :o) We knew we were having a boy, so we ended up with masculine stuff.

As for the feminine hygiene stuff, only if there is no other option would I even ask him! I did this ONCE and he got the wrong stuff. I didn’t complain, but will be MUCH more specific if I ever need him to do this again!

Tiger, I think the male driving is a male thing. My hubby almost always wants to drive, and if for some reason he doesn’t, he drives me absolutely insane!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
5:02 pm

you know what’s funny…I do all the cooking and think it actually enhances the whole masculinity image. I think women dig a guy who will take care of things..but there is a FINE line between taking care of things and being “whipped” and I don’t think women want a guy who won’t show some backbone either. I always remember that line of Ferris Beuhler where Ferris says about his buddy Cameron when he says (paraphrasing):

“Cameron is going to marry the first girl he falls in love with…and she is going to break his heart because he’ll never say no to her….women will never respect a guy who kisses their a–”

We lost an American Icon when John Hughes died!

Rally One

January 11th, 2010
5:15 pm

same as most, my husband will hold my bag if I need both hands for something (I’ve never asked him to carry if so not sure if that would fly). He always carries my luggage and has no problems if it is girly. When we do have kids I don’t think he’ll care about the diaper bag but we’ll prob pick something neutral. He has bought feminine products for me but I very rarely ask unless absolutely necessary and he’ll usually have to call me when he gets there cause he can’t figure out what I want. :)

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
5:19 pm

My initial post is gone Theresa.

@ tiger…my husband will carry my purse but I do not want him to, per my reasons in my post.
He will also pick up mostly anything at the store for me…see he does have his good qualities.

I rarely EVER ask him to pick up anything that would embarrass him but he HAS done it.

As far as the driving, he is in the SAME boat as you. Thinks he is a much better driver. This even though he has totalled 3 cars and I have literally driven different rental cars in every state except Montana…getting close to that quest as I type. He is a better driver in the snow ( this past weekend) but now that he needs glasses and almost refuse to wear them, I am not so sure how safe we are.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
5:21 pm

@MJG…your relationship FASCINATES ME! what are the chances of turning hubby onto this site so we can hear his side of things?!? ;-)

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
5:21 pm

RE: the luggage….I have two trunks that weigh 50 pounds each…I use them for my travel presentations. It tickles me when hubby complains at how heavy they are. He is with me less than 10% of the time…who does he think wrangles with them the rest of the time. The curb check in guys call them the body bags.

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
5:24 pm

@ tiger….how ’bout I ship him out to you and you boys can hash it out over the weekend,,,,LOL!

Rally One

January 11th, 2010
5:24 pm

oh yea, and my husband drives EVERYWHERE. but that’s mainly because I hate driving…but I’m also the worst passenger ever so poor guy has to listen to me LOL

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
5:25 pm

One wife is enough for me thanks!

FCM

January 11th, 2010
5:38 pm

Ok sexist or not here it is: I have never met a man that I felt made a good shot-gun seat candidate. I prefer they drive. However, the last BF had some serious hang ups to his driving that bothered me too. Usually I suggested we take separate cars.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
5:43 pm

Since we’re being sexist..I think I have it figured out….Driving is a PERFECT analogy for the relationship between a man and woman. On one hand, it’s perfect for the woman because she doesn’t have to make one decision or risk getting a speeding ticket but can nag the man to death over the decisions he does make…on the other hand, it’s perfect for men because when we get sick and tired of the nagging, we have the power to just drive us both over a cliff! Perfectly symbiotic relationship!

HAHAHA…HOHOHO….HEEHEEHEE

fk

January 11th, 2010
7:15 pm

He’s bought everything. Once, I forgot to buy nursing pads and he bought enough to last a year. He’ll buy anything, but he’s got to know what the packaging looks like b/c he does not want to have to read labels in the store aisle, but he doesn’t carry the purse…ever. Years ago, when my son was about 8, and I was on crutches in a non-walking cast, my son had to carry my purse for a few feet. I thought I had scarred him for life the way he carried on. Like father, like son, I guess.

oneofeach4me

January 11th, 2010
7:39 pm

No he will not carry my purse, nor hand it to me, nor go INSIDE of it to get anything out (including money)z. lol. He will move it off the table if it’s in his way when he gets ready to eat ;-)

As for the driving thing that some of u guys are talking about, I just don’t have that issue really. We both drive, sometimes me, sometimes him depending on who is the DD or who is more worn out. All though, he does have ADD, so being a shotgun passenger with him when he isn’t medicated can be a bit.. how do I say… nail biting!! lol

TechMom

January 11th, 2010
8:12 pm

Maybe the bigger question is ‘what’s the dumbest thing your husband won’t do for you?’ I’m really surprised this is a big enough issue to support a blog and responses. Why would a guy care so much what other people think that he wouldn’t be willing to help his partner or child?

FCM

January 11th, 2010
8:27 pm

I don’t nag when driving but I have very high peripheral vision. So I tend to notice the movement of cars in the mirror as a passenger. I can read (and fold correctly) a map, but with GPS who needs that? Then again there are a few times with my ex (as the passenger) that I wondered if landing in the ditch would shut him up — he loved to slam his fist into the car door while you were backing up so it sounded like you hit something. Then laugh like a hyena when you reacted.

FCM

January 11th, 2010
11:12 pm

@diedre (shout out) I had my first class of the semester tonight. We have to keep each other pumped about this. My professor lives in and teaches from Mexico and I take my class in my house. Isn’t technology cool? Love the stuff when it works. This is the first math class I have had since 1993!!!! Oh well I guess I can look at it as prep for helping the kids in a few years…lol. What are you taking this semester?

motherjanegoose

January 12th, 2010
7:04 am

@ FCM…my husband has done that same thing in the car and it is not funny. Good luck on your class! If you will be able to help your girls. you are a genius! I stopped that in middle school!

@ oneforeach…we have the ADD thing going on here too and it DOES make a huge difference when my husband is not medicated. My sister told me she saw a DR. Amen on GP TV and I am going to check into his ideas. This is part of the dilemma of what is going on here.

Becky

January 12th, 2010
8:17 am

@Tiger, I think I love you just for the fact that you cook..My husbands way of cooking is to ask what restaurant I want to go to..I know that some women wouldn’t mind that but I do..

As for the driving, it depends on whos car we go in..If we go in my car, I drive, his car, he drives..

Mkay

January 12th, 2010
8:38 am

I will only carry my wife’s pocketbook if it goes with my outfit.

oneofeach4me

January 12th, 2010
10:02 am

@MJG.. let me know what u find out.. (about Dr. Amen) I am interested.

1911A1

January 12th, 2010
10:22 am

You’ve seen me, standing there. With that vacant, thousand-yard stare I stand, stoop-shouldered, holding my wife’s purse, looking for a place to sit and rest my weary feet. Yes, I am a Mall Husband.

nurse&mother

January 12th, 2010
10:32 am

Do the comments from facebook not show up here?

My husband is not asked to carry my purse too often. Maybe putting on a coat (maybe). He would be like DB’s husband . Hold it as if he were carrying a bomb. haha

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Michelle

January 12th, 2010
10:51 am

Tiger…you crack me up!

@ FCM and Deidra…good luck with school! You’ll be certain to have good days and bad (just like anything else), but you can do it!

catlady

January 12th, 2010
11:06 am

Not in 100 million years! He would have rather had his testicles cut off and hung from his ears. No to the diaper bag, too, unless it was hidden in his guitar case! He would also never buy any women’s supplies at the store!

My son and sons in law do not seem to have a problem with carrying the purse or diaper bag. Don’t know about the other.

New Stepmom

January 12th, 2010
12:47 pm

I do not go to the mall with my husband unless it is somehow on our beaten path, so he does not have to hold the purse. Generally he buys me very nice handbags, that i would not buy for myself, but he would rather die than carry it.

Since I am pregnant we had a recent diaper bag discussion. The Vera Bradley bag that I intend to carry is too girly for his taste. He plans to carry a black backpack while out with the little one on his own.

I do not think this is sexist or reflects lack of self confidence, it is just who he is. I also think a lot of guys were taught as kids that a woman’s purse was sacred ground and you do not go into it unless directed. They have some fear about being left responsible for it even for a split second…

Sug

January 12th, 2010
1:07 pm

I remember a family trip to Mesa Verde, and we had to walk through some very narrow passes between the rocks. As we were walking up towards the top, my dad held my mom’s purse so she could make it up the steep part.

Another woman saw this, and started yelling at her husband……”why didn’t you hold MY purse like that man?” My father never had a problem helping my mom out with her purse……

motherjanegoose

January 12th, 2010
1:30 pm

@1911A1….but the question is, have you seen my husband? HE could spend the entire weekend in the mall. If I were banned from the Mall, and we do live 3 miles from the Mall of GA, I would not care a bit!

1911A1

January 12th, 2010
2:17 pm

@MJG, LOL…ever been there when they’re getting ready to close and the security guards start blowing whistles and yelling at the teen cruisers to get the heck outta there? Quite the spectacle.

motherjanegoose

January 12th, 2010
4:15 pm

Never at the mall that late….9:30 is my bed time….hahaha!

Yep, my husband LOVES to shop! We end up with all sorts of things around here that we do not need.

Last week, he brought home some silicone cupcake liners. To my knowledge, he has never made cupcakes before last week and we have been married for 27 years. I told him to help himself as I was not going to wash cupcake liners when we can buy 50 for $1 and throw them out.
Well, he tried them and they stunk up the entire kitchen. He boiled them and tried them again for the same result. Guess we will go with the paper ones :).

I always tell my husband that when I die, I hope he marries a serious shopper who uses his credit card. Then, he may remember that I may have had my issues but I always pay my own way with my own credit card!

justmy2cents

January 12th, 2010
4:20 pm

Of course he will carry my purse if I ask. It is a a small piece of leather…it is not his masculine existence. Men who won’t are a little too insecure in my opinion. Dumb topic for the day.

Jane

January 13th, 2010
8:23 am

justmy2cents – excuse us for talking about a “dumb topic.” But you’re equally guilty, you commented.

Her rudeness aside, I agree that men who won’t help out by holding a purse for a few minutes are to insecure. That’s not a good husband, that’s just a jerk.