Fergie and Josh renew vows: Marriage in trouble or just romantic?

Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas and actor Josh Duhamel renewed their wedding vows this weekend to celebrate their one-year-anniversary. (Check out photos here from the first wedding.)

In that one year of marriage rumors have swirled that Josh cheated on Fergie with a stripper. Fergie has stood by her man through those charges saying she doesn’t believe them.

The couple said they were inspired to renew their vows by Seal and Heidi Klum, who according to one web site have renewed their vows every year since they were married in 2005.

But I’m wondering if Fergie was trying to remind her man: Hey! Remember what we promised each other  just one year ago!

Michael and I renewed our vows for our 10-year-anniversary. It was very low key with just our family. We did it after Mass one Sunday in our regular church clothes. It was the same priest who married us. I must have been giant pregnant with Walsh at the time. Our anniversary is about 3 weeks before his birth date. I think we felt like in all the craziness of having babies (Rose was just 24 months), it was a nice way to focus on us!

So my question is should renewing your vows be done every year? Should it be saved for 5-year or 10-year anniversaries? Does it help focus the marriage? Does it indicate trouble if done that frequently?

Have you renewed your vows? What did it mean to you?

44 comments Add your comment

Sandi

January 10th, 2010
10:21 pm

I tend to think it is just romance. http://emptynestart.wordpress.com/

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 10th, 2010
10:24 pm

Sandi you teared me up! that was so nice!

Michael

January 10th, 2010
10:35 pm

I think a formal ceremony to renew vows would raise the question of what was wrong that needed to be fixed. Vows are permanent and constant.

new mom

January 10th, 2010
10:46 pm

How do you know just how out of it you are? When you read a headline like this and you initially think, ‘who cares about Fergie?’ (ie the princess or duchess of something…) Yes I know who this Fergie is too, but I am assuming I’m the only one who will fess up that I thought of that redhead duchess first.
Hope everyone is doing OK. I have been so busy here that I haven’t had time to check up with you guys here very often.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 10th, 2010
10:52 pm

we miss you new mom — I thought you were changing your screen name!! i did add the black eye peas in to clarify

new mom

January 10th, 2010
10:58 pm

Yeah, I couldn’t come up with a different screen name that I liked, and my computer still thinks I’m ‘new mom’, so that was good enough for me! ;)
Gotta go clean up some…I’m not sure how the two girls can cause such destruction. And one of them isn’t even walking yet!

JATL

January 10th, 2010
11:24 pm

Mariah Carey and her hubby do this too -each year in some exotic locale. It’s not my thing -exotic or not -but if a couple is into it, that’s their business! I just can’t see my husband and I doing it without getting the giggles and feeling silly. We’re very romantic in different ways though. I don’t think it means a marriage is in trouble. IF a marriage is in trouble, maybe it would be wiser to spend the time and money spent renewing vows on a few couple’s therapy sessions!

JustMom

January 10th, 2010
11:56 pm

JATL – I agree with you and the others – it’s there business. It wouldn’t be my thing but I think it’s a romantic gesture and whatever works for them:-).

nurse&mother

January 11th, 2010
1:13 am

I would think it wouldn’t be so meaningful if done yearly. I personally don’t need a reminder. I might consider for our 25th. But that is 10 years away.

[...] See the full article from “Atlanta Journal Constitution (blog)” [...]

Fergie's crotch

January 11th, 2010
2:51 am

I’m soaked in urine!

mom2alex&max

January 11th, 2010
6:36 am

Meh…to each their own. I think it’s nice to do it every once in a while. We might do it for our next “milestone” anniversary.

Jeff

January 11th, 2010
6:54 am

Ditto. I agree with mom2alex & max 100%.

lakerat

January 11th, 2010
6:56 am

I am with you new mom – everytime I hear the name “Fergie” I think of Prince Andrew’s ex!

[...] (We have two topics today. On a lighter note you can discuss Fergie and Josh renewing their wedding … [...]

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
7:33 am

@ newmom. that is exactly what I thought and I had to laugh that I am not the only one.
We have been married 27 years and never have felt the need to renew our vows.

I sometimes ask my sisters if they remember that what I actually said during the ceremony as it was before they videoed things. Did I say I would promise to be the housekeeper? You know this is a sore spot with me ( per Friday’s blog) and I will let it go today! Have fun all!

Justmy2cents

January 11th, 2010
8:02 am

It is up to the couple I think. Too often as we get on with life and marriage and kids, the wedding day and vows just fade into the background. To me, it is sweet that you are willing to take the time and remind your bride/groom that no matter what has happened in the relationship up til now, and even as hectic as life can get, you are still willing to stand up and reaffirm those vows. The vow renewals are typically more relaxed than a real wedding day and you can enjoy it more, instead of worrying if all the guests are happy, the bar is stocked, your hair & makeup is just right, etc.

Hubby and I haven’t done a vow renewal, but every year we go back to the islands (where we were married) and spend a week together, just us, no kids. It allows us to focus just on each other and draws us closer together as a couple.

Jane

January 11th, 2010
8:08 am

In their situation, with the whole world knowing that he had sex with a stripper (Fergie can publicly deny it all she wants, but she knows it’s true), I think it’s her way of starting the marriage over. Hoping that this time, he’ll stay faithful.

He’s been one of the most eligible bachelors for a long time with a continuous parade of different gorgeous women. Looks like he found it hard to stay with just one woman. Hopefully this “new start” will help him to refocus.

Julia

January 11th, 2010
9:44 am

my only comment on this one is blech.

Becky

January 11th, 2010
9:48 am

I think it’s great if they are renewing them for the right reasons..I know that I will get blasted for this, but I don’t really think that she’s all that great and thought he could of done way better..

BlondeHoney

January 11th, 2010
10:00 am

Mariah Carey just married Nick Cannon in 2008, so not sure how those two renew their vows “every year in an exotic locale” Just sayin’ :)

Jane

January 11th, 2010
10:00 am

Becky (not blasting) – by “he could of done way better” are you referring to looks? Because I doubt any of us know her as well as he does (personality, sweetness, kindness). Don’t judge on looks alone.

Lisa

January 11th, 2010
10:01 am

@ BlondeHoney – ditto!

Becky

January 11th, 2010
10:11 am

No Jane, I’m not talking about just looks..I going on different things that I’ve read, heard, blah, blah..I know that you can’t always beleive what you read..I can’t really explain it 100%, it is just a feeling..Just one of those things..

DB

January 11th, 2010
10:50 am

@new mom, nope, you weren’t the only one — to me, “Fergie” will forever be Sarah Ferguson. :-) I saw “The Young Victoria” this weekend, and noticed that Sarah Ferguson was one of the producers. She acted like a spoiled twit while she was married, but she seems to have grown up into an interesting woman. I think it’s interesting that Prince Andrew never remarried.

Re: Renewing vows. Kinda romantic, I guess, and I certainly wouldn’t make fun of anyone who wanted to do so. But I never felt the need — to me, one vow was good enough, I don’t have to keep promising the same thing over and over again. :-) It’s just not my style, but if a couple wants to do it, I certainly wish them happiness. And when it comes to celebrity weddings — well, I pretty much figure they’re doomed from the start, so I don’t pay a lot of attention to them. It would seem that few people in Hollywood even know who THEY really are, much less who their partner really is. How can you have a marriage based on public relation creations?

JATL

January 11th, 2010
10:53 am

@BlondeHoney -the article I read said they did something in Long Island last year and then went to the Maldives in 09 and took an entourage of family and friends with them. It made it sound like they got hitched in 07. Who really cares?

JATL

January 11th, 2010
10:58 am

I was still thinking of last year being 2008!

oneofeach4me

January 11th, 2010
11:02 am

I say to each their own. LOTS of people do this.. yearly even. I would have to say if I did it at all, it would be either a milestone anniversary OR for a fresh start after saving a marrige by attending marriage counseling.

With that said, to be honest, in their case I believe it’s HIS way of saying “I screwed up, let’s start over”. I am even more confident that’s the case being that an observer stated that Fergie was “obviously very emotional and upset”. It sucks for her, but being a celebrity couple away from each other sucks even more. I hope it works out for them.

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
11:07 am

I’d renew my vows, but the LAST think I’d want to do is invite anyone to witness or take part in it. The way I imagine it is ONLY me, my wife, possibly my son and the person performing the service. Feels WAY to MTV Real World Housewives of the OC/ATL/NYC + 8 Look at me narcissism to make it a spectator event.

I think some people would rather renew the terms and conditions of the vows than actually renewing the vows.

“My dearest darling…remember when I said love, honor, and obey……yeah….I’m going to need to change at least 33% of that original contract….oh, and if you read here in the small print, I’d like you to take particular notice of the bullet points of things I WON’T be doing the remainder of this union.”

Becky

January 11th, 2010
11:10 am

To funny Tiger..

oneofeach4me

January 11th, 2010
11:22 am

@ Tiger that is hillarious. Although, Fergie & Josh did this alone. There were no inivted guests… papparazzi just followed them there. Like I said.. sucks to be a celebrity couple.

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
11:26 am

@ tiger….LOL

a. I will not be doing most of the housework inside the house
b. I will be happy to contribute equally to the expenses as you contribute equally to housework
c. putting the remote control away so you can find it is not my job and certainly not housework…lol
d. I know you do most of the yard work but exactly how long has it been since you last mowed our
lawn and since I cleaned the toilets?

I was trying to remember if i said obey or cherish…different responsibilities for sure but I am not sure I still cherish everything about my husband :)

I know…enough already….I am off to make a little money now and will see y’all later…..hugs!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
11:35 am

@MJG….I gotta say…from the sounds of last week and this week….your renewal might go more like this…

“dearest hubby….after long and thoughtful deliberations I have decided to end our agreement together wish you well in the future.”

PS…I stole part of that from AT&T’s statement when the dropped my client Tiger as a sponsor! Strictly business statement from business partners when one didn’t live up to other’s expectations!

BlondeHoney

January 11th, 2010
12:14 pm

@JATL, agree with you totally; who cares WHAT those two do? Just thought it was funny that they have been married less than 2 years but go around talking about renewing their vows every year like they’ve been doing it for years & years :)

motherjanegoose

January 11th, 2010
12:16 pm

Naaa…too complicated to split. We do have our good days. This is funny, I color my own hair to save money and was fussing last week that I needed to do it but did not have any hair coloring.

My husband has picked it up once or twice for me.

We had ice and snow and I was not going out. My husband needed some fresh air, as he was home for almost 48 hours, and left to take his shirts to the dry cleaners. He stopped and picked up some Colorsilk for me…remembered the right color too…he laughed and said he thought about blonde. So, he CAN think of ways to pitch in just not on a regular basis…LOL.

The main problem is that he prefers for me to handle all the crappy stuff…who wouldn’t?
If I were not a business owner and sometimes pulling my hair out ( the gray lol) I may be more inclined but since I started my business I have other fish to fry.

Nice chatting with ya….something I LOVE to do….:)…outta here!

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
12:24 pm

that’s good to hear MJG…I was getting the distinct impression that you really didn’t like the guy all that much!

FCM

January 11th, 2010
12:48 pm

@ MJG my grandmother always said if you pull out a grey you get 2 to replace it.

@ Tiger — did you really have obey in the ceremony? I told the JP (and the groom) early on that if asked that I would have to say “NO”. Glad did too because honestly some of the crap the groom thought we should do (finaces, homes, cars, etc) was just too stupid to consider. The guy thought we shouldn’t have insurance (health or home).

Now my (ex)SIL had that in her vows. And she honestly sat down on the alter area carpet lauging her butt off. Her mother thought she was crying but the wedding party knew what was what. The groomsmen and I just looked at each other wondering who should hit my brother and wake him up to what that meant. The few times we would jokingly remind her of the vow she would say “yeah, right like y’all believed I would do that.” Later when they got divorced my brother said “should have figured if she lied in the vows, she’d lie about everything else too’.

Becky

January 11th, 2010
1:10 pm

@MJG. I answered your question, not sure if you saw it or not..

@FCM, I also said that I would not answer to obey in my vows..The only person that I have ever felt to need to obey was my Mother..

Tiger needs me on his PR team

January 11th, 2010
1:16 pm

I didn’t have obey in my vows..but I’ve been to quite a few catholic ceremonies that did include it…so I made the stretch!

Jesse's Girl

January 11th, 2010
1:44 pm

Man….all these celebrities stole this from me and Jesse:) We’ve done this every year since 1996. Its always different and cooky. We’ve done it at a drive thru chapel in Vegas…..one year a Rabbi was in The Varsity (romantic annv meal after a rugby game!) and we asked him if he would mind. So we renewed our vows with a chili dog in hand. One year…we renewed on a flight to Miami…..there was a Mother Earth Priestess sitting across from us. We make it fun and keep it light, always making up the vows as we go along!

webcamim

January 11th, 2010
10:55 pm

Josh Duhamel is arrogant and sexually promiscuous just like Tiger Woods. Fergie is in denial or just dim-witted. Fergie is sooooooooo talented but obviously she has low self-esteem. To bad Josh Duhamel doesn’t share her views about not cheating on your spouse. Josh Duhamel needs to keep his penis away from vaginas that do not belong to his wife. Future headline: “Josh Duhamel Gives Fergie a STD”.

catlady

January 12th, 2010
11:17 am

Is Josh from a royal family as well? What does Prince Andrew think?

**shakes head**

January 12th, 2010
5:57 pm

Dear Lord no wonder this country is screwed. When is this celebrity worship going to end?
Who freaking cares?!?!?!

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