My Top 10 Mom Resolutions for 2010!

I thought it would fun, and useful, for us to focus on our Top 10 Mom Resolutions for 2010. I have mine listed below, and I want to know the main things you would like to work on this new year!

1. Be more patient! I get stressed out and then frustrated and mad. I often yell when things or people aren’t moving as quickly as I would like. I need to work on being patient in all areas of my life, but especially with my children.

2. Stay organized. Throw things out. Don’t just move piles around.

3. Exercise every day! I need to do this to lose weight but I truly believe this will affect my mothering. I think it will get me out of the house, make me less stressed and help me clear my head. I think this will assist with the patience goal as well.

4. Go on a date with my husband at least once a month. My plan is to book our sitter for three months out so I have the date to look forward to each month and don’t have to worry about finding a sitter.

5. Get out with friends once a month. I’ve already set up a weekly walking date with one of my oldest friends who recently moved back to town. We’ll walk the babies five miles and enjoy catching up.

6. Stick to our cash-only policy. During Christmas and for some of the house renovations I allowed myself to use credit cards for convenience. But I had the cash to cover everything. So now that the improvements are done and Christmas is over, we are back to using cash only. I think it has absolutely helped us cut back and control our spending.

7. Stop cussing. A terrible habit I picked up from my big brother. F-bombs and other vulgarities still slip out with regularity. Absolutely have to break this habit. It’s embarrassing.

8. Read more. My new plan is to walk to the library at least once a week to keep my books fresh. (With the stroller I can return and bring home a bundle of books.)

9. Eat a minimum of 5 vegetables a day – if not more. For health and for weight loss, this is necessary. I need to eat less grain and more veggies.

10. Pray more and have more calm time. I think overall I need more quiet time and more prayerful time to help me stay patient and calm. I think the daily walks can help with this quiet time goal.

Michael adds to my list: Stop complaining. He says I complain all the time. I would contend that I am merely commenting on the state of things.

What do you think of my goals for the year? What are your goals? (My husband would say these goals would never pass in a work environment. You have to be able to quantify your results. So also think about how you will measure your success with your goals. I will think on this too.)

90 comments Add your comment

HB

December 31st, 2009
4:25 pm

Oh dear, FCM, there you go making sense again…;)

I don’t always agree with your opinions, but enjoy reading them and appreciate your expressing them intelligently. Not sure how that can be interpreted as nasty and vile, but, hey, that’s just my opinion.

Jesse's Girl

December 31st, 2009
4:47 pm

FCM…today you have made us proud. You are an articulate, educated, classy and street smart lady whom I am honored to call my friend….if only a cyberlicious one;)

Julia

December 31st, 2009
5:09 pm

FCM – I have to tell you this :).. Yesterday my ex’s lawyer about gave me a stroke. She sent my lawyer the “wrong” agreement. I called him back in almost tears saying, I am confused I though I was keeping the boy. He said you are.. I told him that is not what the paper said. He sent her a flaming email so she sent the right one. Just one more showing of incompetence of that law firm.

Julia

December 31st, 2009
5:15 pm

Jane I went back and read your post from yesterday. Until you have walked in my shoes and have gone thru what i just did, please do not judge me. My ex’s new wife has my ex so whipped its not even funny. She is the one that talks trash about me all the time in front of my son, to the point they get into huge fights. I know I am not perfect but the whole step monster thing is the truth. She has even called the boy a pathologic lier to his face.

jan

December 31st, 2009
5:30 pm

I think one of you goals should be to stop whinning so much about your husband and his football.

FCM

December 31st, 2009
6:18 pm

HB & JG right back.at you I’m glad we can post here as cyberspace friends. Some of us go back to 2006 or so in being here talking.

Julia I found.all kinds of things in the docs just do what you did. Read them and don’t sign unless it is right. I.guess you’re learning that many whomay never have hoed this row will judge and call names. I grew a thicker skin but maybe you won’t need too.

Happy New Year!

From my phone

Julia

December 31st, 2009
6:47 pm

Thank you so much :),, I am tucked in my apartment with all the goodies I can stand for the night playing on facebook :).. You have a great safe night!

TiredOfFailure

December 31st, 2009
7:04 pm

I have only one resolution and that is to do whatever it takes to get my kids out of the horrible government schools and begin homeschooling them. Every mom should be making that resolution. The sooner everyone pulls out, the sooner we can get this country back on the right track.

Julia

December 31st, 2009
7:08 pm

Our church has tons of kids that are home schooled. My son and I were just a few days ago talking about this very subject. He said he would not want to be home schooled because he wants his friends at school and he thinks the kids that are home schooled are not very social. This was his words not mine. Now if I had the money I would put him in private school..

****This is not open for attacks********

Elliot Garcia

December 31st, 2009
7:27 pm

Praying works for me….

New Stepmom

January 1st, 2010
1:24 pm

Great list Theresa! We enjoyed a fun night last night and #5 came into play. We went to a friend’s home where several other couples and kids were invited. My stepdaughter was with us and she was the oldest of the 6 kids-10 and the next down was 5. All of the families with the younger kids paid her $5 to wrangle the kids in the basement after asking my stepdaughter if she was interested. It was a great experience for her as she got to earn a lot of money to a 10yo and learn a lot about babysitting which she wants to begin doing in a few years while having a safety net of all of the parents up stairs. It was fun for the parents too, because we could check in every 30 minutes to an hour and still enjoy some adult time. She has already asked when we can do that again so she can earn more money ;o)! Since I am very new to step parenting and parenting, I thought this was a great way to get some adult time without paying a fortune for a baby sitter.

motherjanegoose

January 1st, 2010
1:49 pm

@ tired of failure…not sure where you live but my children have gotten a good public school education in Gwinnett County GA.

If every Mom made the resolution you suggested, there would most likely be no unemployment as all of the men would be hired for the jobs the women vacated to stay home and teach. Not sure if there would be enough men to handle all of those jobs and then things may take a serious nose dive. I appreciate the mothers who are out there working so that we can enjoy goods and services.

I did get a recent chuckle from my son. We were talking about movies and my daughter and son were lamenting the idea that I would never budge on letting them view a PG 13 movie until they were AT LEAST 13. My daughter reminded me that she could see R rated movies if she went by herself. ( I am not the only one on this blog who believes the ratings are there for a reason).

Anyway, my son comments: “You do have some odd rules Mom but obviously you must have some good ones too as look how we turned out….”

YEP I am taking that as a compliment….hahaha!

@newstepmom….great idea and a confidence booster for your step daughter. Kind of like a mom’s helper.

New Stepmom

January 1st, 2010
1:56 pm

MJG, it was a great confidence booster! She had a ball. One of the little girls cried when we left. I have just heard about Mother’s helpers and it is a GREAT concept. If I can get through my pregnancy with a healthy little one-between my stepdaughter and my husband’s neices I know I will use the Mother’s helpers I have available!

I also just listed a bunch of stuff on ebay today. I think that is a good resource to help with staying organized. I probably get rid of more than I should, but I always make 3 piles 1)donations, 2)consignment and 3)ebay. The consignment and ebay dollars are never a ton, but they have helped over the past year when things have been super tight. It is also a good incentive to stay organized and cleaned out.

Julia

January 1st, 2010
1:58 pm

Hope everyone is having a great day and you have a wonderful new year.. I have ribs in the crock pot with the black eye peas and greens going soon as well!!

Jesse's Girl

January 1st, 2010
2:05 pm

Just can’t abide the greens cooking in my house…way too stinky!! I do like eating them elsewhere though;)

Justmy2cents

January 1st, 2010
4:08 pm

It would typically be pork & sauerkraut (damn Yankees here) in the house for NYD, but we have so many leftovers from brunch today…we are skipping the regular menu! No greens (weeds yuk!) or black eyed peas here. It is always interesting to see what folks have as their traditional NYD menu.

motherjanegoose

January 1st, 2010
4:19 pm

We never have a traditional meal on NYD. I love collard greens but cannot stand black eyed peas.
While I have and will cook all sorts of things, neither of these items have ever come out of my kitchen.

I like sauerkraut but no one else here does. Anyone up for some trivia:

What state tries to hold claim to the first corned beef sandwich, enjoyed by men at a poker game?
I love corned beef and sauerkraut and laughed when I saw this on a bulletin board.

I do not think I have mentioned this before. No Googling, just guess.

My daughter is cooking dinner and that is perfect for me! My husband cooked breakfast for the two of us and so I am happy NOT to be cooking today. Enjoying the last of my time off before I head out with a suitcase!

Julia

January 1st, 2010
4:22 pm

I will guess NY but I know that is not right… Now you wanna talk about something that stinks up your house is corn beef and cabbage.. I have now learned to put the crock pot on the freaking porch!! I am a pure ga girl accent and all :)

JATL

January 1st, 2010
4:38 pm

OMG -just finished eating my husband’s peas and greens. No matter how much you think you don’t like them -if you had his you would be a convert! They are so fabulous -everyone who eats them asks for the recipe. My own mother changed the way she had made hers forever once she tasted them! Happy 2010!

Justmy2cents

January 1st, 2010
5:16 pm

Hmm…I grew up(partially) in the midwest with alot of good beef available. I will guess Nebraska, since hubby was born there.

motherjanegoose

January 1st, 2010
6:06 pm

BINGO just my 2 cents….you are CORRECT and you win hot cocoa with marshmallows on top or I also have whipped cream…e-mail Theresa as to where you can come to claim your prize….hahaha!

Way back, I mentioned that it would be fun to have trivia ( Tuesday?) and some folks chimed in for a while. But we lost it somewhere.

I have crisscrossed Nebraska and most other states and love to learn interesting things.

@ Julia, I think cauliflower smells worse! I do put my corned beef in the crock pot but it stays inside.

JATL…any left…I would love to sample….LOL.

Stay warm all!

catlady

January 1st, 2010
6:08 pm

Happy New Year to all!

Teresa, why do YOU have to book the sitter? From reading this blog for two or three years, I would make one observation: perhaps many of your sources of stress, yelling, cussing, etc, stem from you either perceiving or actually doing 90% of everything for your family? I can’t say if you are actually “in charge” of so much, but if you are, you need to withdraw your boxes. Make your “My Responsibility” box much, much smaller and your “Not my Responsibility Only” box a great deal bigger. My perception is that you are “on duty” 18 hours or more a day, and your husband is on duty about 10 per day (and your kids, probably not at all). Even as a SAHM, your life seems way out of balance. You need to start valuing what you do for your family and quit seeing Michael as the “breadwinner.” If your family had to pay someone for what you do, think of how much it would cost. Those are YOUR financial contributions. I would guess it is $40000 plus per year?

Now, no one who is on the receiving end of someone else’s efforts (your family) wants anyone to question the “fairness” of equalizing of effort, but I think you would be a lot less angry, whiny, impatient, and profane if your contribution to the family were correctly valued.

Just my opinion. I’ve never been a SAHM, but I can only go on the last thousand or so blog entries you have posted that indicate a possible source of the trouble. If I am right, it is only your fault if you let it continue.

Julia

January 1st, 2010
6:18 pm

Mother Goose that cracks me up.. :)

JATL

January 1st, 2010
7:01 pm

I must say I think catlady is on to something. I’m speaking from personal experience and going through the process to remedy a great deal of stress, anger, etc. due to feeling like I had to do EVERYTHING at the house; a lot in the yard; all the child care and organize any and every social activity we ever did. Things are much different now, and even though I’m still working on several of the things Theresa listed, I have alleviated a great deal of stress and anger in my life by forcing my husband to step up. With a lot of men (and I would think perhaps women when Dad stays at home), they just don’t realize how much we do or how tiring, stressful, etc. it can be. I still do more than 50% because my husband does work full time and I work on a contract basis, but not doing 98-100% of everything has helped tremendously. I cannot WAIT until my two are old enough to handle a vaccuum and reach the sink! The oldest is getting quite good with a swiffer…

RJ

January 1st, 2010
7:11 pm

I have to agree with catlady. I just had this conversation with my husband last week. He felt I was constantly blowing up, I explained that I’m doing just about everything AND working a full time job. I’m no June Cleaver, so it’s time for him to get more involved. Came home Sunday from spending a long day after church with a friend to find the toilet cleaned and clothes washed. I guess I just needed to ask!

deidre_NC

January 1st, 2010
9:19 pm

i plan to get rid of a lot of stuff…i have way too much of it and all of a sudden realize i dont even know why i have most of it…so its GOING!! i plan to go back and finish my degree…actually start a whole new one.after much pondering..i could finish the one i have so fast but i feel the need to do something completely different so its gonna take me longer..oh well im doin it! i start thursday!!! i plan to try to like my current job betteer…look for the good in it (that gonna be hard lol) my biggest plan is to start having a life…my youngest child graduated and is in her second semester of college..so now its time for me…thats hard for me. its been all about ‘them’ forever it seems (35 years lol) so its really hard to get in a mindset of ME…but im gonna give it a good try..and im sure i will make it…i pray and that gives me strength and calm…id like to start going back to church more often but my job inhibits that…but really the first thing im doing is getting some boxes and take on room (or corner of a room) at a time and GET RID OF STUFF!!!

deidre_NC

January 1st, 2010
9:26 pm

oh yeah and i am trying to stop smoking…and i am not gonna give up even if i slip…im just gonna keep trying until i do it…i am so sick of this addiction!! if it takes me til next year i am going to quit! in the past when i try if i slip up i just say ***** it..and start back…this time if i slip im not gonna do that..im just gonna keep on trying! wish me luck!

JATL

January 1st, 2010
11:05 pm

You can do it deidre_NC! I quit smoking full time 10 years ago except for when I drink. I know that’s not good either, but at least I don’t smoke all the time (no, I don’t drink all the time ;-) Now, I’m really going to start working on giving it up COMPLETELY. I had a little relapse back into full-time smoking about 9 years ago, but I didn’t give up. Just keep that attitude and if you slip up, get back on the wagon. You will feel so much better! I used to get bronchitis once or twice a year like clockwork, but I haven’t had it since I gave up smoking full time. Good luck! If you don’t already exercise frequently, start trying to do that because that’s where you can tell a HUGE difference. If you relapse your fitness level sucks so bad, it’s more encouragement not to smoke when you’re feeling weak.

deidre_NC

January 1st, 2010
11:45 pm

ty jatl…i need all the encouragement i can get…its probably one of the hardest things i want to do…

catlady

January 2nd, 2010
8:57 am

You can do it, diedre! My mom and mother in law both quit and they were both heavy smokers. My mom lived 14 more years (altho she died of lung cancer eventually) but my mil lived 2 months after she quit when she was diagnosed. You can do it! Different things work for different people. My mom quit cold turkey–she had smoked 50 years and decided she was stronger than the smokes. Then, she was amazed at how much the smoke smells–could not get over how much “stink” they had recently put in the cigarettes! I will pray for your strength and that God will succor you. Did you get a big snow last week? My son’s family (Weaverville) got 15 inches and was without power for 4 days!

Justmy2cents

January 2nd, 2010
10:14 am

I agree with Catlady regarding taking on too much responsibility. I did the same and was an evil biatch. Work full time, then add chef, chauffeur, tutor, maid, personal shopper, laundress, and other duties as assigned into the mix does ont make me a happy camper. And as the saying goes…if momma ain’t happy, ain’y nobody happy! So I gave all the household chores up to hubby and the kids. :o)

As far as quitting smoking; I did that 2 years ago. I tried the patches, the lozenges, wellbutrin, and just gradually cutting back…yeah none of that work. Finally I said f**k it and just quit cold turkey. Haven’t had one since, and have no desire to. My hair and clothes don’t stink, I don’t have to try and hide it from the kids, food tastes better, and it saves a ton of money.

Get a jar and every time you want to smoke, go ahead and throw a couple bucks in it. If you are a typical pack a day’er- you’ll save well over a grand by the end of the year. Take a vacation with it!

Tiffany

January 2nd, 2010
10:32 am

To all of those who have quit smoking…congratulations! To those who are trying: don’t ever give up trying to quit. You owe it to yourself to have better health for 2010! Your life will improve greatly…and so will your family’s.

fk

January 2nd, 2010
10:35 am

My sister quit smoking “cold turkey” a few years ago. She tried different methods over a few year period, but was unsuccessful. One day, she decided to just quit without any aids, and did not tell anyone, other than her non-smoking husband ~ no pressure nor eyes watching. I think a couple of months had passed before anyone realized she had not lit up a cigarette. She still pockets the money, five years later. It is her mad money – they go fairly regularly on cruises and to Vegas. I have to say she is a good quitter, she does not harp on those who still smoke and never says it was easier than she thought. She quit for herself at 50, she smoked from the age of 16. Good luck Deidre!

I agree with the other posters about taking on too much responsibility. I was a sahm for 15 years. I enjoyed it and did not mind having most of the responsibilities. However, there was, and still is, a disagreement over how much is expected of one of us since I returned to the fulltime PAID workforce. Things have gotten better over the years, it’s been 4, but it’s been a struggle to get him to agree to pick up more than his fair share of the slack at times. Sometimes you give more, sometimes you give less. We’re a work in progress. Happy New Year everyone!

FCM

January 2nd, 2010
1:54 pm

Did not get my cornbread yesterday but did have bread, braised cabbage , pork, black eyed peas, and potatoes. Greens were available but like JG I cannot stomach the smell.

Diedre — YOU GO GIRL!!! My friend has several patients who try to give up smoking. He swears that water will help you break the habit faster. No idea if it is true.

Julia — this is YOUR year. Wake up each day believing it. When you get a little down or whatever give a shout out and we’ll talk if you like.

Looking forward to topics this year.

Julia

January 2nd, 2010
2:38 pm

FCM you are so sweet :).. Today I am on the cleaning thing. I have both bathrooms clean, the kitchen clean but still need to mop it, make up the beds and then take down the effin tree and clean up the living room. Any one want to help :)

deidre_NC

January 2nd, 2010
6:57 pm

thanks yall….im gonna do it i am i am lol.

catlady

January 2nd, 2010
8:43 pm

FCM–what did your friend suggest to DO with the water? Drink it, waterboard with it, throw it on the soon to be nonsmoker, or what?

motherjanegoose

January 3rd, 2010
10:28 am

@catlady….thanks…I thought I was the only one who missed the use of the water.

FCM

January 3rd, 2010
5:04 pm

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

January 3rd, 2010
11:15 pm

I can’t imagine trying to quit smoking!! Deidre I’m so proud of you!!!!!!! You can do it — just write on here if you ever want to smoke and we’ll talk you down!! Good luck to everyone trying to give up smoking!!