Is ‘New Moon’s’ message bad for our girls?
Ae you worried about "New Moon's" message to your daughter about how to get a man? (Kimberly French)
“The Twilight Saga: New Moon” opened to an unbelievable $140.7 million this weekend with 80 percent of its audience women and half under the age of 21.
Based on the second book in the popular series by Stephanie Meyer, “New Moon” is rated PG-13 for violence and action. But according to a recent CNN story many mothers are worried about something else in the film.
“It’s the all-consuming obsession that the main character Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, has for Pattinson’s vampire Edward Cullen. For parents who want to raise self-confident girls who first and foremost love themselves, it is hard for them to stomach 18-year-old Bella’s all-encompassing and self-destructive passion for Edward.”
“In the second installment of the series, Edward leaves Bella because he believes she is better off without him in her life. Bella is heartbroken, but discovers that the supernatural Edward appears before her when she is doing something dangerous or harmful to herself. This leads Bella to attempt cliff diving and dangerous motorcycle stunts that endanger her life.”
” ‘This ‘I will do absolutely anything and everything for another person’ is not a good image for young girls,’ Kimberly Noe, mother of an 11-year-old daughter said. ‘I don’t want my daughter to believe that she should do anything just to be liked by a boy and at the end of the day I’m going to have to explore with her what her conclusions about Bella are before I let her see the film — but she will not be seeing it in the theaters.’ “
I haven’t read the books or seen the movies but I do have friends dealing with this issue. They are definitely concerned about the impressions their tween daughters take away from the book about love and sex and are previewing the material and having lots of discussions afterward.
I think it’s hard when the books get more questionable as you go along. “Twilight” seems similar to the “Harry Potter” books. I’m OK with my third-grader reading the first three Potter books but the last ones get pretty dark and I’m not sure she’s ready for them.
What do you think: Are you concerned with the lessons of how to get a man and self-esteem shown in “New Moon”? Do you think the movies make a bigger impression on our young girls than the books do – seeing it is stronger than reading it? Are you having discussions with them about “this is now how you get a guy?” Are there parts of the books/movies that worry you? Which parts?
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87 comments Add your comment
JATL
November 23rd, 2009
7:32 am
Here we go again -why should ENTERTAINMENT always have some positive message or lesson for our children -half of whom don’t need to be seeing it anyway? I don’t have girls, tween or teenage girls, but I used to be one -and one of the most important things I guess my parents taught me (and very early on) is that books and movies aren’t REAL (especially movies about vampires). If your kid isn’t old enough to understand that she doesn’t need to emulate every character she sees, then she shouldn’t be watching much over the level of Noggin. If parents are worried about the message, then discuss with your daughters what a fool Bella is being. This is just a modern take on many classic romances where the woman totally gives herself over to being obsessed with a man until something detrimental happens. Hmmmm does Bella kill herself like Juliet in Romeo and Juliet? Your teenagers are reading that in 9th grade -guess we should probably ban it (JUST KIDDING -I’m so against banning books).
The point is that, once again, helicopter parents are soooooo afraid some movie or song or entertainer is going to horribly influence their precious offspring. They never seem to consider the fact that they can either NOT let the kid see, listen, etc. or actually have a conversation about it. What about actually teaching your kids some personal values? And let’s not forget -what was it that YOUR parents thought was sooooo bad for you to see or hear? Most of these parents just sound like their own moms and dads.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
November 23rd, 2009
8:02 am
JATL — I agree that entertainment can just be entertainment but this particular series resonates soooooo strongly with these girls that I’m not sure that this is a irrational fear. (don’t you remember back in the 70s when kids were hurting themselves trying to be like the wyle E. Coyote (spelling)?) I think you’re right that they’re not going to watch Romeo and Juliet and kill themselves but they may see Bella’s obsessive behavior and think that’s normal or OK when you’re “in love.” I haven’t read the books or seen it but I do my know a lot of my friends’ kids are really, really into it. I’m glad my daughters are too young to be into at it’s peak of popularity. The series will probably be easier for parents to manage for later generations.
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
8:18 am
GEEZ JATL…there actually are other posters who have strong opinions besides me….
you go girl! I also enjoyed reading the opinions on Friday’s topic.
Well…y’all will be thrilled to know that I have no comments on this topic and will leave it to those who do. This is due to the fact that I know nothing about these movies and that my daughter is not interested in them,
Even though some think I try to act like I know everything about everything…I do not and I will be interested in seeing what other posters have to share. Mark this day on your calendar…hahaha!
We did want to go and see Blindside on Friday but my daughter said, “Oh no Mom…the theater will be packed with the girls who want to see New Moon, so let’s go sometime during the week.” That’s the move we want to see. I am NOT trying to change the topic…
I never read any of the Harry Potter Books, nor saw the movies but my son read them all. Do most parents read all books they allow their kids to read? Not sure. I read some, that interested me but not really to screen content. My eyes would have fallen out from all the comic books my son read….LOL.
Have a great day!
Photius
November 23rd, 2009
8:21 am
Oh man, 80’s teen agers grow up and become really square…. Please. First, read the book – second, see the movie, third: form an opinion.
ZachsMom
November 23rd, 2009
8:26 am
I have to agree with JATL. The movies are entertainment and nowhere as good as the books. My son won’t read the books but sasw the first movie and thought Bella’s actions were a little creepy. He thought she was a stalker.
Andrea
November 23rd, 2009
8:28 am
@MJG: I didn’t read any of the Harry Potter series until my son got interested in them. I did enjoy the books and the movies. His interest in the Potter movie was the catalyst in me starting to read the books. I don’t read all of the books my child reads, but when something stirs a lot of debate (like Potter did then) I will read it so I can be informed and know what the debate is about (which most of the time turns out to be much ado about nothing).
I didn’t see New Moon or the first movie and won’t. Fortunately my son isn’t interested in it and my daughter is too young for it. While I do understand movies are supposed to be entertainment, everything that is entertaining may not be good for your child. It is your role as the parent to make the decision (in some cases with your child’s input and in some cases without). Then of course you could be the laissez faire (sp?) parent and be your child’s “friend”. Yeah, that’s the ticket…..
Ki
November 23rd, 2009
8:34 am
ZachsMom…you believe Bella is a stalker? I thought that of Edward…I’ve been watching you sleep in your room for the past two months…Cullen…creepy! :)
Seriously, though, I believe this opens up great dialogue between parents and kids and our friends. I went to see this movie with my friends and at no time was I like, hey, I want to be like Bella…really, I have more self-esteem than that. I was too distracted by the beautiful boys in the movie to pay attention. :)
msam
November 23rd, 2009
8:38 am
These are books, now movies, that are for entertainment. Tell me, when is your teenage daughter (or anyone else )going to meet a vampire or a shape shifter? If she does let me know. If your child is not old enough or mature enougjh to distinguish between fantasy and real life, then you are correct…they should not be reading or watching The Twilight series. Actually, they shouldn’t be reading or watching much of anything. I am a mother and my son and I talk about a lot of things but I’m certainly not worried about him stalking a girl because he read a book and watched a movie with something like that in it. When I was younger I watched movies about killers, vampires, romance, outer space , and anything that I found to be entertaining. I actually turned out to be relatively sane (that’s sarcasm for those of you who can’t tell). If you don’t like the books or the movies, then that’s fine. But I really get tired of people putting so much responsibility on the entertainment world. If it were a documentary, I would understand but really?
Kathy
November 23rd, 2009
8:41 am
To those of you who have not read the books……don’t bother. The worst writing on the planet (Stephanie Meyer had never written ANYTHING until this and it shows) and the story is pathetic. I read them all at the beach and I wish I had taken something else to read. I read them to see what all the hype was about. I am baffled at all the 30 and 40 year old women who are just crazy about this “phenomenon.” Teenagers, I can understand.
On topic, if Little E were of the age where it would be appropriate to see the movies or read the books, we would do it together and I would have a conversation with her about Bella’s behavior and the fact that the story is FICTION and not real life.
deidre_NC
November 23rd, 2009
8:46 am
i read the harry potter books when my daughter did..she was so engrossed i had to see what it was about…i loved them! i havent read any of the twilight series..my daughter-and honestly just about everyone i know-has read them and loved them. i have seen grown men engrossed in them not just teenage girls.my daughter hated the movie…the 1st one..she didnt like the movie-shes a book person- but she hated the way all the teen girls were acting in the movie more than she hated the movie. i agree with JATL…if kids are taught their self worth i doubt the movie/books will change that. there are so many things that can make a girl feel low self esteem or the need for a guy…commercials…tv shows..just about everything makes people think they are nothing without someone. and beleive it or not parents really do make more of an impression on their kids than the parent thinks..i learned that with all mine as they got older…my youngest daughter told me one time..i think i will just have my kids and not worry about the dad being there…you did a fine job raising us sho you really dont need a man. lol..i had to explain that it really is better to have a mom and a dad if they are both good parents…you just have to make the right choice…which i didnt. but bck to topic..no..if kids are riased with the right moral and ethical ideas i wouldnt worry about the movie turningn them into a clinging ill do anything for you kind of woman.
deidre_NC
November 23rd, 2009
8:48 am
i havent read the books because i do not like vampire stuff….
R
November 23rd, 2009
8:48 am
Hey folks! It’s called a TEACHABLE MOMENT. Just talk to your kids about it (hey…even better, go watch it with them OR watch it before they do to see if it’s worth it) and maybe they’ll get the message.
CC
November 23rd, 2009
8:52 am
I have a 10 year old son and I will not let him see things that I feel he is not mature enough to know the difference between fiction and real life. It’s up to us parents to teach our children the difference.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
8:54 am
My children and I saw it on Friday. Everybody loved it. I find it no worse than HSM — Troy sneaks into Gabriella’s room w/o her mom knowing. Ed and Jake do the same to Bella.
The worst that happens is that some people kiss and some young men run around without shirts. My kids see worse at the pool in summer.
My 7.5 yr old thinks Taylor Lautner is HOT (she has since she saw him as Shark Boy). So basically that is all the story she can tell you is that Taylor turns into a wolf and that Edward is a Vampire. She gets NOTHING about the love story or emotional thing out of the movie. Actually she gets more out of Shark Boy and Lava Girl. She does have a fully clothed picture of Lautner on her wall.
The story has helped my eldest girl (10) begin to ask questions about dating and so forth. She does get the love story and it has helped me to talk to her about not making your mind up right away. To be consider options. She does not get the Possive side of Edward, but thus far RPattz has played that cool. She is reading the books. She is in the Edward camp and thinks he is just the most romantic thing ever. Of course she thinks the same thing about Prince Eric and Ariel! That girl (like her Momma) is an incurable romantic. She has an Edward Poster on her wall.
Think about it. You had Leif Garrett, Donny Osmond, Scott Baio or SOMEBODY at some time that you just crushed on like crazy. It is very healthy for these girls to practice these emotions while they are still willing to listen us to parents and the objects are out of reach. In a few short years they will be doing it for real and be far less likely to listen to us.
The final thing to think on is that GIRLS do not view the movies the way WOMEN do. Watch ANY movie with a kid and you will find they get something way different than you out of the movie.
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
8:54 am
Movies are fantasy where we can escape the daily rigours of life. I love being ENTERTAINED at the movies…..and that’s just it, entertainment.
I have read a few of the books my daughter has read. Her favorite all time book is one of the saddest I have ever read, “A Child called It” I believe is the name of the book. Sad story, but my daughter just loves it, and has read it probably 5 times…..
She received The Great Gatsby for Christmas last year. It was at the top of her christmas list. I love that she wants books for gifts….However, she never got into the Twilight series either. But both nieces each have the complete set of all four books. I didn’t care for it either. I read almost all of the first book, put it down one night, and never finished it.
I want to go see The Blind Side, and probably will this weekend. I have a four day weekend coming up, and it’s perfect movie viewing time, just before the hectic Christmas season…..
Reds
November 23rd, 2009
8:56 am
I’ve read the books, and loved them. This was my least favorite of the 4, but I thought that the movie was great. I’ve never liked a movie better than a book until this one. I’m a 28 year old female though, and an avid reader. And most importantly, I know the difference between real and fantasy. These books are entertainment, and yes, the way they act towards each other is a bit creepy. It is not an actual portrayal of what love should be, and I do think that it could give young girls the wrong idea. But, I do not think that they should be stricken from any reading lists. It’s entertainment. It’s romantic in a creepy stalker way, but there is also non-creepy romance, in the form of Jacob, who is not creepy. In fact, Bella’s dad says something that is VERY important in any child’s development (to try and convince her to get over Edward and be with Jacob)… “Sometimes you have to learn to love what’s good for you.” And that can be true with anything. Work, school, veggies. ;)
I read plenty of books when I was in school that were worse on the creepy scale than this, because I would read whatever I could put my hands on. But, I knew it was fiction. This is the perfect opportunity to stress that fact, and open dialogue with your children about it.
I am half in love with Edward Cullen, but I know that his character is creepy. But, it’s almost just as wrong to be drooling over Jacob’s character in the movie…. he’s 17!!!!
Peadawg
November 23rd, 2009
8:57 am
As long as the parents teach their kids that these are JUST MOVIES and not real life, there should be no problem. It’s on the parents to teach their kids the difference between make believe and real life.
Kelly
November 23rd, 2009
8:58 am
JATL, I couldn’t had said it better. I am a mother of a teenage daughter. I have no issues allowing her to watch movies or read the books. Parents need to teach kids the difference between real life and entertainment. It’s a cop out to blame a movie, cartoon, book, song, game, etc. for some kid messing up his or her life. The parents need to take responsibility for not teaching between real life and entertainment.
Theresa, I am allowing my 2nd grade daughter to decide if the later installments of Harry Potter are to dark for her. She just started reading the books. She knows the books are meant for fun. She’s already seen the movies, thanks to her sister and is excited to be reading the series now.
I have read both series and loved them. With the holidays approaching I am thinking of re-reading all the books just to have something to do when my youngest 2 kids are with their dad on the weekends.
over it
November 23rd, 2009
9:02 am
This obsession is both sad and pathetic.
David
November 23rd, 2009
9:06 am
Ok, I haven’t read the books…I was forced to watch the movies. I formed my opinion. The movies suck. The story is cheesy and the acting is horrible. The Jacob character is just there for his um..”looks”..more his muscles i suppose b/c the guy can’t act. I was sitting in the back of the theatre with my girlfriend..and that scene where he takes his shirt off and everyone goes wild. Its crazy..then he starts talking…
About the kids issue..this always comes up..nothing will happen to it. Same thing happened with harry potter..the extreme christians (I am a christian) saying can’t watch the movie b/c of witches etc…but now its ok to see these movies. I just cant wait for the day when they finish all the twilight movies..men all around the world will rejoice.
Dana
November 23rd, 2009
9:07 am
Sorry people-but there are much worse things your kids are going learn about then a fictional book like Twilight. Get a life. Songs, books, movie, tv shows, etc don’t make people do ‘bad’ things. If they weren’t blaming Twilight they’d be off onto something else. If it bothers you then don’t let your child watch the movie or read the book-it’s not for young kids anyway!
Amy
November 23rd, 2009
9:24 am
I think a lot of parents allow their kids to buy into the hype – I know of many kids who took the day off school just to see a movie……have some parents lost their ever loving minds???? Kids in this country are far behind the education level of their peers in other countries – can they really afford to skip a day just for a movie?? Is this an extension of being your kid’s “best friend”?
This is a teaching moment for your kids; teach them that movies are completely fictional, unless based on a true story. This is just another phase in the fabulous world of celebrity stardom – a couple of years ago, parents were worried about their little girls idolizing Brittney Spears and that seems to have fallen by the wayside, as this fad soon will………one can only hope!
Producer
November 23rd, 2009
9:25 am
Ladies, it’s just a movie. You daughters are not going to use this as an excuse to go nuts over some boyfriend.
MaryKay
November 23rd, 2009
9:25 am
Just lock your kids up and don’t let them out until they turn 18. That solve your worries?
Meg
November 23rd, 2009
9:30 am
Edward is a controlling stalker. Bella is a morose martyr. These themes are played over and over again in every badly-written book of the Twilight series. Obsessive love is not real or sustaining love. Depending on someone for your happiness and well being rather than focusing on your own self-improvement and sustainability is just plain pathetic. (In other words, join the 21st Century Stephanie Meyer and quite waiting on a man to come and save you).
If I had a girl wanting to see this movie or read these books, these are the things I would be emphasizing when talking to her about them. This story (both the characters and the writing “abilities”) is not one to be emulated.
Autumn
November 23rd, 2009
9:32 am
I saw the film, “New Moon,” this past weekend and as a 30-year-old elementary school teacher, I agree it’s not really appropriate for younger girls. However, for middle school and namely high school girls, I feel it is absolutely okay. I remember in the middle of the movie when Edward broke up with Bella, turning to my coworker and saying, “Gosh, don’t you remember how breaking up felt in high school? Your world was over.” Now, those emotions aren’t quite the same, but I thought the film did a good job of showing high school emotion at it’s best. I kind of feel that we should worry about our teenagers singing rap lyrics a bit more and worry less about reading books and following a teenage drama.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
9:37 am
@ Reds — I agree that the 40+ who asked Lautner to sign her undies was beyond creepy. As I told a friend of mine, I can appreciate that he put a lot of time into building his body for the role, and I can even appreciate the results in the SAME way I can appreciate a Monet or Van Gogh.
You said your 28. It may be you that you have realized this, or it might take a few years. Just like in most Men there still lives a bit of the boy he used to be, inside of most Women, there is still a bit of the love struck teen — at least until either or both become completely jaded and cynical. I think the reason so many women get into (any romantic) story/movie is that it speaks to that tiny part of them. Even if they have the best of hubbies, the most romantic and ardent of paramours, they still like that first kiss, that first awkwardness, etc.
As to being on Team Jacob, it is easy to forget (in the books) that he is 17. Also, those of us who are past the wide eyed stage, know — and Bella does too to some extent — that Jacob is really the best choice.
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
9:39 am
@ JJ…lol…maybe we will see you at the movies and can split a popcorn…haha!I think we saw Julie and Julia at the same time and did not even know it.
@ kelly…I am impressed that you are planning to re-read the Harry Potter books….those are LONG books.
I read a book nearly every week but almost never re read anything.
Just curious, what age is appropriate for this move? I see there is quite a range in age with the posters above.
soulfinger
November 23rd, 2009
9:39 am
Well said Dana!!!
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
9:42 am
@ Amy…yes, to your question ( imho, which does not always hold here!)
Connie
November 23rd, 2009
9:52 am
I’m not interested in the twilight saga, but from reading the repsonses parents need to talk to their children about the film I don’t think anyone under 13 should watch. Bella being obsessed with Edward is real and it happens to young and older females.(Grown women too) It’s all up to the parents, because YOU are the parent. @Autumn you need to get off the rap soap box. Parents now need to be paying attention to Miley Cyrus showing us her flat @$$ and pubic hair while on stage.
JATL
November 23rd, 2009
9:58 am
Oh lord Theresa, if kids at any time hurt themselves trying to be a cartoon character then that truly is beyond pathetic! My 3 year old already knows that cartoons are drawn make believe and you cannot do what they do -it took saying that twice and now he gets it. As other posters have reiterated -if you’re someone who thinks this is a terrible message for your daughter -talk to her about it.
I turned to my husband while watching tv this weekend and seeing all the hype over this stuff and told him I REALLY did not understand the adults (particularly late 30s, 40s and up) who are CRAZED over this. It’s embarrassing for them! However, when I was 13 or 14, I KNOW I would have been obsessed with the whole series -AND my mother would have let me read and watch all of it -AND I would have understood that I wasn’t Bella and that it was about fictional vampires and (thanks to mom’s teachings) that girls and women need to have their own lives!
Emily
November 23rd, 2009
10:09 am
Where have all you concerned citizens been while women have been seen topless (and more) in movies for years now, being victims to 20yr old wankfests? And this is what your concerned about? Really?
Where’s the concern about the endless other movies that portray women as sex and nothing else? It’s amazing what women have let society deem as acceptable and “normal” in regards to ourselves.
DB
November 23rd, 2009
10:11 am
I’ve read the books. I gave them to my daughter. She read the books. We enjoyed them, and we’ve gone to the midnight shows of both movies together. We even had a giggle when Taylor Lautner whipped off his shirt — my daughter covered MY eyes, giggling and whispering, “You’re married!! You shouldn’t be looking at this!”
Not ONCE did I ever think that my daughter is going to take love advice from mediocre writing and what we both agreed with tremendously BAD acting and suddenly become a love-obsessed zombie.
It’s a MOVIE, for heaven’s sake. If they read “The Giver”, are you afraid they are going to suddenly become a doctor who euthanizes babies? If they read “Lord of the Rings”, do you think they are going to become obsessed with getting rid of magical rings? If they read Harry Potter, do we think they are going to suddenly be morose if, on their 11th birthday, they don’t get an admission letter from Hogwarts? Do they become gun-totting killers if they listen to rap? IT’S FICTION, PEOPLE. Kids can tell the difference. Sheesh — give ‘em credit.
With all the things that parents have to worry about — having their daughters emulate Bella is probably the LEAST of their worries. My daughter and I did talk about the books, and my comment was that I disliked the fact that, in “New Moon”, Bella was catatonic after a guy that she had only know for six months had walked out on her. My daughter’s reaction: “Yeah, she’s a wimp.”
And frankly, the acting is so bad in the movie, we both walked away wondering what either one saw in the other!
JAMIAS
November 23rd, 2009
10:14 am
People need to stop the madness.
Let’s look at all the other things out besides “Bella”…
lol.
Katielenn
November 23rd, 2009
10:38 am
Actually, “New Moon” is just bad…a lot of the teens in the showing I went to were laughing AT the movie, not with it.
Liz
November 23rd, 2009
10:42 am
Time Magazine has a great article about the backlash against over-parenting. Maybe those who worry about the Twilight series should read this first! http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1940395,00.html
mom
November 23rd, 2009
10:44 am
OMG Pleaseeeeeee….. You must be out of something to talk about….I am 50 years old. Loved the series and love the movies. Have children and absolutely nothing was wrong with either movie. If anything, it will teach the children to have more honest passionate relationships with their soon to be spouses. Get real, find something else to find fault with!!
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
November 23rd, 2009
10:47 am
Hey for our moms with babies or toddlers I’ve just posted a new blog — there is a MASSIVE CRIB RECALL expected by The Consumer Safety Commission to be announced soon — check out the blog for info
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
November 23rd, 2009
10:48 am
JATL — you made me laugh — you’re funny!
Diana
November 23rd, 2009
10:50 am
Twilight is just like anything else….there will be kids who are negatively impacted by it and those who aren’t. There will be kids who will be negatively impacted that come from backgrounds of need and want and bad parenting. There will be those affected by it who come from backgrounds where the parents did all the right things and for some reason ikt didn’t ‘take’. I don’t believe that every time a kid does something wrong, it means they have awful parents.
Personally, I don’t like the idea of someone putting themselves in situations where they might die to be with someone and would not like my daughter to think that is the norm. However, I don’t have to worry about that because she has no desire to see the movie and is aggravated with her friends liking it so much.
In my opinion, the themes in the movie seem to be the norm with lots of people in our society–obsessive love, believing that we only have one true love, losing our identity in a relationship, I suppose tht’s why this movie resonated with so many people. So, the dysfunction in my opinion, is with society and the movie’s popularity reflects that. But the movie will not create the phenomena.
There will be some girls affected by it in a negative way….that is unavoidable….with anything, not just twilight. We should not blame them and call them or their parents names. That’s just ugly.
.
April
November 23rd, 2009
10:57 am
@Kathy – you are so right. I have read all the books and they are not very well written, and the story is so poorly developed that it is pathetic. It has nothing to do with the supposed “scandalous” subject matter. There are many scandalous books out there that are great literature.
My daughter has read the books and seen the movie. Katielenn is right – my daughter and her friends laughed at some of the scenes in the movie – and not at the places you were supposed to laugh.
I think the controversy has made them more appealing to some people – forbidden fruit and all that.
Cammi317
November 23rd, 2009
11:12 am
Since when do we let the movies dictate what is right and wrong to our children? The only way it could be a bad influence is if we don’t discuss what is right and wrong with them, and continue to remind them. Parents who look to celebrities and athletes to minter their children are not really parents.
Cammi317
November 23rd, 2009
11:15 am
*mentor…not minter…
Angie
November 23rd, 2009
11:23 am
There are worse things for our daughters to see on TV commercials and Cable TV than the story that this movie/book series represents. If you’re worried about influence over our daughters worry more about MTV and regular TV’s programming than Twilight.
I think if you read the books you would probably be a little more understanding of the story and of Bella’s character. The movies just don’t represent the full story. I’ve read the books and loved them. I am an adult, but even if I was a teenager I don’t think reading these books would distort my view of reality vs. fiction in relationships. But then again, my mom started talking to me from an early age about relationships, love, and boys. So even as a teenage girl I was more aware of these realities than other girls my age. I think that’s what your focus should be on. Talking to your daughters about these things rather than letting them learn by popular media or stories. If you did that, you wouldn’t need to worry so much.
But on to Bella’s character. I guess everybody percieves things differently…from reading the books, I percieve Bella as a strong willed, well balanced girl, who falls deeply and madly in love. I remember falling in love with my husband when I was 17 years old and I remember the feelings of passion and almost obsession we had for each other through that time. He was all I thought about day and night. Now those feelings of strong “love” and passion died down over time, but that was how it was. Don’t know if others fell in love that way, but I know we did. I knew that those feelings would subside and reality would kick in eventually, because my mother discussed that with me, so it didn’t ruin our relationship when real love started to kick in and “new love” went away. TALK to you daughters, it means more than any movie or book ever could. Even if it seems like they aren’t listening. They hear you.
This story is for entertainment. It’s a fantasy…not real. It wouldn’t be fun to read a story about how hard relationships really are. Reality sucks sometimes. It’s nice to delve into a fantasy world and escape reality every now and then. What better way to do it than reading a book! See it for what it is. A fictional story about love. It has teenage girls reading! Shouldn’t you be happy about that? Personally, I’d much rather my daughter be into reading this series and seeing these movies than watching much of anything that is available to watch on TV these days. What about all the movies and TV shows where girls are portrayed as nothing else but a sex object. This is way better than any of that.
But it seems there are going to be people who have a problem and a complaint with anything that is popular these days.
MaryKay
November 23rd, 2009
11:28 am
@ Connie. Seriously, when has Miley ever shown her “flat @$$ and pubic hair while on stage.”
Can we say JEALOUS LIAR?
MomsRule
November 23rd, 2009
11:31 am
It is entertainment. I’ve read the books twice and seen the movies (New Moon 3x this weekend). I don’t understand why anyone would be worried about letting their teens view the movie or read the books.
I took my boys, 10 and 13, yesterday. The 10 year old wanted to see the movie, the 13 year old didn’t until the last moment. They both walked out thinking the movie “wasn’t bad”. The 13 year old still plans to make fun of all the Twilight Fans – including his Mother. LOL We discussed the movie (like we would any movie) and neither of them walked away thinking anything about Bella being a stalker or Edward being a stalker, or any of the other things posted here. They also didn’t walk away thinking that vampires or boys turning into wolves is real. Good grief. It is fiction. If your child is old enough to view TV and movies, they should be taught the difference between fantasy and reality.
FCM – I can’t agree with you on Jacob being the best choice. LOL :)
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
11:50 am
@MomsRule that is ok you can be Team Edward. I have a house divided with the appropriated banter going on. The eldest thinks were all crazy because RPattz is so beautiful (I thought he was adoreable as Cedric Diggory on a Thanksgiving weekend years ago while watching with my then bf).
Melissa
November 23rd, 2009
11:50 am
I am what you would call a Twilight Mom. I have read all the books and was there on opening night to see New Moon (one of the few adults I might add). When I think of Bella as a character I can see what you all are talking about on the side of maybe see is a little over dependent on Edward, however to me I see a true match between 2 people. Real love where each person would do anything for the other. I grew up learning to find a good man who will halp me be a better me, and truly listen to what I say and feel. this is the side I foccused on with my daughter. That, she does not have to settle in life, God made someone for her. As an individual though she has to be complete first. Maybe a little too much on the romantic side, but too many girls are going into bad relationships these days. I feel Edward (andJacob) both brought more to Bella by truly loving her. As for the supernateral side of the movies, that is the “fun” part. The creativity in the books astounds me. Just help your children understand Reality vs. Reel-ality.
FCM-I would pick Jacob for myself : ) but it is definitely the love struck teen inside me. (they did not make boys like that when I was a girl)
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
12:22 pm
@Melissa they do not make boys like that now. That is why it is fiction. Now I do believe that there are some men out there like that. I have not had much luck in that area though.
MomsRule
November 23rd, 2009
12:25 pm
@FCM – Jacob rocks! No doubt. I’m sure the debates in your house are fun!
I love Taylor in the role. But the book Jacob get’s on my nerves just a bit. I feel he manipulates Bella with his pity parties. I liked being able discuss Taylor Lautner’s transformation from Twilight to New Moon with my boys. How he exercised and worked so hard to make himself ready for the part. “If you want something you have to work for it.” – always a good lesson!
MomsRule
November 23rd, 2009
12:31 pm
@Melissa, my girlfriend and I were at opening night as well. There were lots of adults at our location. Quite a few men too (this was a surprise). We were paying attention as we had earlier discussed what we thought the ratios were going to be.
EW
November 23rd, 2009
12:33 pm
YES! If you are a parent who doesn’t ever take the time to figure out your kid’s interests or spend time with them then things like Twilight are an issue. The obvious bigger issue is that parents are so removed from the things going on in their kids’ lives that the media and entertainment are the kids’ perception of real life. If you are a parent doing your job then there is no issue with this. GAGGGGGGGG, the parents not doing what they should are the ones worried. The ones doing the right thing know they are and know they don’t have to worry about this.
JATL
November 23rd, 2009
12:55 pm
@Theresa -I’m always happy when I can provide a laugh for someone!
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:06 pm
Every day someone comes up here and tells us parents how to parent our kids. My guess is EW has none. typical. Those without kids are the experts on raising them……
lmno
November 23rd, 2009
1:19 pm
My wife read these books. She rented the first movie. I tried to watch it with her, but found the acting to be so bad I couldn’t watch it.
Allie
November 23rd, 2009
1:21 pm
Regardless of whether EW has kids or not, they do raise a very good point.
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:24 pm
Yes, the issue gets raised in every topic…..we parents obviously have no clue…….
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
1:31 pm
JJ…you are treading on thin ice here….hahaha!
While I do agree that those who have no children probably are not experts on rearing them, some do not feel the same as we do. As I mentioned a few topics ago, there are those who live in Hawaii and those who have visited the island once or twice. To me, those who live there would be able to give us more substantial information ( about Hawaii ) than those who have only visited. Unless you only want tourist information.
Those who do not live…day to day…with kids, would most certainly have different opinions than those of us whose kids have seen us in our underwear. When parents used to tell me how their kids were in awe of me ( as a teacher) I would tell them…”this IS because they have not seen me in my underwear!” ( as my own kids who are NOT in awe of me…hahaha)
Also, perhaps those ( like me) who have not had a crib in years…are not posting on the second topic today. I would not know which crib is the best as I have not used on in 15 years!
Reds
November 23rd, 2009
1:35 pm
@FCM
I would say that I am jaded, but not as bad as some. I have been lucky in life, and in love. My heartbreaks that I thought were the end of my world I was able to get over relatively quickly, with only a few scars that remained behind. Definitely still a romantic at heart though, and hopefully will stay that way. I appreciate the feeling of “new love”, and the intense emotions that goes along with it. But I will easily admit that the Bella/Edward romance is… unrealistic. My 21 year old sister wanted to watch Twilight after it came out on DVD, and knew almost nothing about it. Before we started it, I told her “Edward is great, but it’s definitely in that creepy stalker way, but his character makes it seem almost ok, which is weird.” and during the movie, she paused it, and said she knew exactly what I was talking about. But, yes, it is very creepy. I think that for a lot of females, that “I am the only girl in the world that he even sees” is a definite turn on, mentally as well as physically. BUT, at the same time, I think many females know that it is inappropriate, scary, and not likely.
As for Team Edward or Team Jacob… they both have their merits, but I think that (since this IS fiction), I’d have to go with Edward. ;) I just like that “you’re the only one for me” mentality :)
Personally though… I think Bella needs to quit whining. She’s got three to four guys fawning over her at one time (Edward, Jacob, Mike Newton, and even Eric most of the time). Talk about unrealistic expectations there. I appreciate the fact that she is an average girl, “nothing special”. But the fact that she is normal seems just as odd to me that she has that many guys interested in her. Does anyone else think that could send just as bad of a message to young girls?
CJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:37 pm
OMFG…get over it! It’s fiction! Yes…there will be those that have mental problems and will think it is real…hell, maybe you are one of them!
I enjoyed the series, and thought the movies were ok. 8 years ago, and I would have been one of those love stuck teens that plasters my wall with pictures of cute Twilight guys.
All teen girls have some teen idol that they have a major crush on. Not saying little kids should see this…because it is rated PG-13 for a reason, people…
Don’t think that your kid isn’t exposed to much crazier things at school.
Allie
November 23rd, 2009
1:38 pm
While I agreed with EW, I’m simply stating that sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees; often people outside a situation have a better perception of what’s going on. It’s not a knock against parents. I never said ye don’t have a clue and I’m not sure where that came from.
Cindy
November 23rd, 2009
1:39 pm
As a woman, I am not a fan of Bella’s obsession with Edward and I don’t see her as any kind of role model. But I am a fan of science fiction and the vampire genre (love True Blood!!), and I really like the stories and believe they are well written.
I will let my daughter read these books and watch the movies when she’s older (she’s still a baby), but I will also explain to her they are works of fiction and not real. Just like the Wizard of Oz is not real, and the Lord of the Rings is not real.
I don’t believe every work of literature has to have hidden meaning – and I do think Vampire books and movies are strictly fantasy that should be read and watched for pure pleasure. Whether your 16 or 56.
Team Eric!!
Phil Brown
November 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm
I saw the 1st movie and I thought my wife would like the books so I bought it for her.She readed the books and went crazy. The next thing i knew she was making plans to go to Vancover to watch the New moon be made, Upon her return 3 weeks later she Travel to N.Y. in search of the leading actor. I still havn’t recover from the stuipid things this movie has people acting. Needless to say I burned the books.
Manny
November 23rd, 2009
1:52 pm
Well I love that this book was wrote and the movies came out. Shoot I’m in my mid 30’s and my wife just younger and she now thinks Im Edward. Thank God for these books, it’s been fun around my house!
angie
November 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm
my 15 year old daughter and i went together to see these movies and we loved them. i am intrigued by vampires and wish edward would bite me and i could live for eternity with no worries but come on most people and teens understand that this is make believe and does not happen in our world. everyone loves to find something to complain about with everything we do these days instead of just enjoying your time here and being happy. these movies are make believe and your girls should be told that and explained that to where they understand it and can just be infactuated with the idea without acting on it. my daughter is not allowed to date or have boyfriends yet because i want her to be mature enough to handle it and that is the main problem girls are allowed to do too much that is considered grown up stuff!!!! our t v shows give our girls more ideas than any of these movies so come on quit all the hype and enjoy the show!!!!
Angie
November 23rd, 2009
2:34 pm
Phil…no offense, but your wife may be an example of why anyone would be worried. That’s just crazy! It’s just a story!
MaryKay
November 23rd, 2009
2:35 pm
JJ – nothing AT ALL wrong with EW’s point (12:33). She’s absolutely correct – and yes I have a child. You don’t think that there are parents out there who are doing a poor job?
I’m a parent that’s doing my job, so I have no issues here.
Maybe you’re feeling a bit guilty?
Denise
November 23rd, 2009
2:36 pm
Phil – either you’re crazy for making up that story, or your wife has gone crazy. Either way, there’s issues in your house wayyyy beyond this movie.
David
November 23rd, 2009
2:47 pm
Sounds like Phil’s wife just wanted a reason to leave him.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
2:58 pm
I’ll tell you what I find un-realistic. Charlie Swan! How can you be the Chief of Police and be clueless that boys are walking in the bedroom window of your daughter? I wonder if it is a commentary on Bella having pretty much raised herself (Renee is just dippy!).
workingmom
November 23rd, 2009
3:20 pm
The books are a mildly enjoyable escape. The first movie was terrible and I doubt the second is any better, although it will make tons of money, ensuring the rest will get made. What I think the books gets right though, is how it feels to be a teenager from the teenager’s point of view. Not that it is right! A lot of teens thinks their parents are completely clueless (Belle’s mother is so self absorbed Belle has had to raise herself and her Dad is so clueless she takes on the parental role there as well. A lot of teenagers believe that, doesn’t make it true. A lot of teens also fall into that “if he doesn’t love me I’ll die” trap. THat isn’t true either but it doesn’t make it seem less real to the teen going through the breakup. I still remember the first time my heart was broken and that was close to 30 years ago! Remember these are books that were originally targeted toward the teen audience. They are not literary works of fiction and were never meant to be. Vampires are hot right now and Twilight will benefit from that. Let them read the books if they want.
Kelly
November 23rd, 2009
3:25 pm
@motherjanegoose
I love long books. When I was younger, I read books based on the number of pages they had. The more the better. Reading is my favorite hobby and has been since I can remember. I cook and clean with a book in my hand at home. I buy and checkout books based on recommendations of everyone. They don’t really have to be a certain genre just something that is interesting. Truthfully I only read the Harry Potter books to annoy my ex. He was one of those Christians that were over the top because of the Wizards. I didn’t realize I was going to enjoy them as much as I did.
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:31 pm
Okay, this is just stupid. If you think that this kinda stuff is provocative, walk into a High School and look around. Kids are doing so much more than what’s just on this movie, or in these books. So what.? Kids are doing worse things, it’s not like they are showing them how to make crack here. I mean come on, there’s nothing in this movie that these girls haven’t seen, heard, or probably done. I know that parent’s like to think that their precious child is just so flawless that they would never do the things that Bella’s done, but I hate to break it to you mommy, your little angel probably isn’t the innocent child you think. REALLY.! It’s a movie for crying out loud. If you think it’s a little too edgy for your princess to read then why the heck did you buy it for her or let her watch the movie.!? Seriously.
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm
Yea, MaryKay I’m feeling guilty. God knows I didn’t spend the last 18 years of my life getting my child prepared to be a productive member of society.
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
Ya’ll are dumb. Arguing over what parent’s let there kids watch. IT’S THEIR KID.! LET THEM PARENT THEM HOW THEY WANT.! JJ & MaryKay, are these the examples you really set for your own children.? Grow up, it’s a damn movie. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. End of story. Nobodys forcing you to.
Harrison
November 23rd, 2009
3:45 pm
This is a bad fiction movie , and i won`t allow this film for my kids ! they have nothing good to learn from this
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:48 pm
EXACTLY.! It’s FICTION. FAKE, NOT REAL.! Can you not explain that to your children.? You people who are so against this are really starting to irritate me. If your child can’t understand the concept of fiction they don’t need to watch it.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
4:09 pm
OK being evil here….It was a Mom from Gwinnett that had issues with Potter. Is it Moms from Gwinnett getting bent over Twilight?
Phil Brown
November 23rd, 2009
4:25 pm
Denise your right, The problem may be in the house. We are still together and she has said she’s sorry more than once. But I’m waiting for the next time. Still after 10 years of marriage, she never acted that way untill the movie.
DB
November 23rd, 2009
5:45 pm
Speaking of obsessive love: “Romeo & Juliet”, anyone? And they MAKE them read that in high school!!!
Tiffany
November 23rd, 2009
6:22 pm
Don’t any of you remember what it is like to be a teenager in love? I can really relate to how weird Bella gets…I can’t say I’ve ever dated any vampires, but I can remember those relationships that you felt like your life depended on. This is simply a retelling of star crossed lovers that has been told time and time again. None of these characters are or should be role models. If your kids can’t deal with all of the emotional issues then they are probably too young to see this movie. As for me… I love it. GO TEAM JACOB!
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
6:43 pm
@ FCM…haha…I am in Gwinnett and had no qualms with Harry Potter nor Twilight…I have read neither.
@ Kelley…that is awesome that you like long books. I am usually good for about 350 pages, unless it is an author I really like. Sometimes, I have read most all of a particular author’s books and come to one I do not like at all…to me, that is so weird!
I love to read and enjoy finding out about new authors too! I just do not re read books and I rarely ever watch a movie twice either.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
8:59 pm
MJG — at least you do not judge a book you do not know. I said I was being evil when I made the statement ;)
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2009
7:59 am
@ FCM…there…now see I do not know everything….LOL!
FCM
November 25th, 2009
11:48 am
Reported in the AJC’s interview with Edi Gathegi (Laurent) about basically the question that is this column’s headline “EG: If anything, it’s not going to screw up a generation but inform women of what they deserve. And what they deserve is to be in a relationship where they are treated with respect and really cared about. That’s what the women love about Edward. He’s the consummate gentleman. He puts her first. That’s what they all want. And if they can read a book like that where they see someone providing that then maybe they won’t put up with the boyfriend who doesn’t respect them. ” Well ok then. IF my children can realize they should have someone who respects them, and is not trying constantly to get sex, and is truly wants what is best for them, WITHOUT the creepy staring at them sleep each night. COOL! Girls today should realize they deserve something better than I have seen the guys at the pool treating their g/f.
Magenta
November 30th, 2009
1:39 pm
I only have a grown son, but this weekend there were some young girls among the extended family for Thanksgiving. One of them started talking about Edward and another compared him to a boy she likes in high school. Soon the conversation got to where you could see these girls were really going off on flights of fancy and would be too far gone if somebody didn’t steer them back to reality. So I told them about some of the guys I dated in high school. Most of them were clueless idiots who couldn’t string sentences together, or they’d make outrageous, boastful, macho statements that were a complete turnoff. Not to mention the horrifying hygiene and misuse of cologne…
Pretty soon the girls began to think about some of their male classmates and eventually they were in agreement that a Hollywood movie or novel bears very little resemblance to everyday reality. That was a relief to all of us.