Is ‘New Moon’s’ message bad for our girls?
Ae you worried about "New Moon's" message to your daughter about how to get a man? (Kimberly French)
“The Twilight Saga: New Moon” opened to an unbelievable $140.7 million this weekend with 80 percent of its audience women and half under the age of 21.
Based on the second book in the popular series by Stephanie Meyer, “New Moon” is rated PG-13 for violence and action. But according to a recent CNN story many mothers are worried about something else in the film.
“It’s the all-consuming obsession that the main character Bella, played by Kristen Stewart, has for Pattinson’s vampire Edward Cullen. For parents who want to raise self-confident girls who first and foremost love themselves, it is hard for them to stomach 18-year-old Bella’s all-encompassing and self-destructive passion for Edward.”
“In the second installment of the series, Edward leaves Bella because he believes she is better off without him in her life. Bella is heartbroken, but discovers that the supernatural Edward appears before her when she is doing something dangerous or harmful to herself. This leads Bella to attempt cliff diving and dangerous motorcycle stunts that endanger her life.”
” ‘This ‘I will do absolutely anything and everything for another person’ is not a good image for young girls,’ Kimberly Noe, mother of an 11-year-old daughter said. ‘I don’t want my daughter to believe that she should do anything just to be liked by a boy and at the end of the day I’m going to have to explore with her what her conclusions about Bella are before I let her see the film — but she will not be seeing it in the theaters.’ “
I haven’t read the books or seen the movies but I do have friends dealing with this issue. They are definitely concerned about the impressions their tween daughters take away from the book about love and sex and are previewing the material and having lots of discussions afterward.
I think it’s hard when the books get more questionable as you go along. “Twilight” seems similar to the “Harry Potter” books. I’m OK with my third-grader reading the first three Potter books but the last ones get pretty dark and I’m not sure she’s ready for them.
What do you think: Are you concerned with the lessons of how to get a man and self-esteem shown in “New Moon”? Do you think the movies make a bigger impression on our young girls than the books do – seeing it is stronger than reading it? Are you having discussions with them about “this is now how you get a guy?” Are there parts of the books/movies that worry you? Which parts?
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87 comments Add your comment
MomsRule
November 23rd, 2009
12:25 pm
@FCM – Jacob rocks! No doubt. I’m sure the debates in your house are fun!
I love Taylor in the role. But the book Jacob get’s on my nerves just a bit. I feel he manipulates Bella with his pity parties. I liked being able discuss Taylor Lautner’s transformation from Twilight to New Moon with my boys. How he exercised and worked so hard to make himself ready for the part. “If you want something you have to work for it.” – always a good lesson!
MomsRule
November 23rd, 2009
12:31 pm
@Melissa, my girlfriend and I were at opening night as well. There were lots of adults at our location. Quite a few men too (this was a surprise). We were paying attention as we had earlier discussed what we thought the ratios were going to be.
EW
November 23rd, 2009
12:33 pm
YES! If you are a parent who doesn’t ever take the time to figure out your kid’s interests or spend time with them then things like Twilight are an issue. The obvious bigger issue is that parents are so removed from the things going on in their kids’ lives that the media and entertainment are the kids’ perception of real life. If you are a parent doing your job then there is no issue with this. GAGGGGGGGG, the parents not doing what they should are the ones worried. The ones doing the right thing know they are and know they don’t have to worry about this.
JATL
November 23rd, 2009
12:55 pm
@Theresa -I’m always happy when I can provide a laugh for someone!
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:06 pm
Every day someone comes up here and tells us parents how to parent our kids. My guess is EW has none. typical. Those without kids are the experts on raising them……
lmno
November 23rd, 2009
1:19 pm
My wife read these books. She rented the first movie. I tried to watch it with her, but found the acting to be so bad I couldn’t watch it.
Allie
November 23rd, 2009
1:21 pm
Regardless of whether EW has kids or not, they do raise a very good point.
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:24 pm
Yes, the issue gets raised in every topic…..we parents obviously have no clue…….
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
1:31 pm
JJ…you are treading on thin ice here….hahaha!
While I do agree that those who have no children probably are not experts on rearing them, some do not feel the same as we do. As I mentioned a few topics ago, there are those who live in Hawaii and those who have visited the island once or twice. To me, those who live there would be able to give us more substantial information ( about Hawaii ) than those who have only visited. Unless you only want tourist information.
Those who do not live…day to day…with kids, would most certainly have different opinions than those of us whose kids have seen us in our underwear. When parents used to tell me how their kids were in awe of me ( as a teacher) I would tell them…”this IS because they have not seen me in my underwear!” ( as my own kids who are NOT in awe of me…hahaha)
Also, perhaps those ( like me) who have not had a crib in years…are not posting on the second topic today. I would not know which crib is the best as I have not used on in 15 years!
Reds
November 23rd, 2009
1:35 pm
@FCM
I would say that I am jaded, but not as bad as some. I have been lucky in life, and in love. My heartbreaks that I thought were the end of my world I was able to get over relatively quickly, with only a few scars that remained behind. Definitely still a romantic at heart though, and hopefully will stay that way. I appreciate the feeling of “new love”, and the intense emotions that goes along with it. But I will easily admit that the Bella/Edward romance is… unrealistic. My 21 year old sister wanted to watch Twilight after it came out on DVD, and knew almost nothing about it. Before we started it, I told her “Edward is great, but it’s definitely in that creepy stalker way, but his character makes it seem almost ok, which is weird.” and during the movie, she paused it, and said she knew exactly what I was talking about. But, yes, it is very creepy. I think that for a lot of females, that “I am the only girl in the world that he even sees” is a definite turn on, mentally as well as physically. BUT, at the same time, I think many females know that it is inappropriate, scary, and not likely.
As for Team Edward or Team Jacob… they both have their merits, but I think that (since this IS fiction), I’d have to go with Edward. ;) I just like that “you’re the only one for me” mentality :)
Personally though… I think Bella needs to quit whining. She’s got three to four guys fawning over her at one time (Edward, Jacob, Mike Newton, and even Eric most of the time). Talk about unrealistic expectations there. I appreciate the fact that she is an average girl, “nothing special”. But the fact that she is normal seems just as odd to me that she has that many guys interested in her. Does anyone else think that could send just as bad of a message to young girls?
CJ
November 23rd, 2009
1:37 pm
OMFG…get over it! It’s fiction! Yes…there will be those that have mental problems and will think it is real…hell, maybe you are one of them!
I enjoyed the series, and thought the movies were ok. 8 years ago, and I would have been one of those love stuck teens that plasters my wall with pictures of cute Twilight guys.
All teen girls have some teen idol that they have a major crush on. Not saying little kids should see this…because it is rated PG-13 for a reason, people…
Don’t think that your kid isn’t exposed to much crazier things at school.
Allie
November 23rd, 2009
1:38 pm
While I agreed with EW, I’m simply stating that sometimes we can’t see the wood for the trees; often people outside a situation have a better perception of what’s going on. It’s not a knock against parents. I never said ye don’t have a clue and I’m not sure where that came from.
Cindy
November 23rd, 2009
1:39 pm
As a woman, I am not a fan of Bella’s obsession with Edward and I don’t see her as any kind of role model. But I am a fan of science fiction and the vampire genre (love True Blood!!), and I really like the stories and believe they are well written.
I will let my daughter read these books and watch the movies when she’s older (she’s still a baby), but I will also explain to her they are works of fiction and not real. Just like the Wizard of Oz is not real, and the Lord of the Rings is not real.
I don’t believe every work of literature has to have hidden meaning – and I do think Vampire books and movies are strictly fantasy that should be read and watched for pure pleasure. Whether your 16 or 56.
Team Eric!!
Phil Brown
November 23rd, 2009
1:41 pm
I saw the 1st movie and I thought my wife would like the books so I bought it for her.She readed the books and went crazy. The next thing i knew she was making plans to go to Vancover to watch the New moon be made, Upon her return 3 weeks later she Travel to N.Y. in search of the leading actor. I still havn’t recover from the stuipid things this movie has people acting. Needless to say I burned the books.
Manny
November 23rd, 2009
1:52 pm
Well I love that this book was wrote and the movies came out. Shoot I’m in my mid 30’s and my wife just younger and she now thinks Im Edward. Thank God for these books, it’s been fun around my house!
angie
November 23rd, 2009
2:30 pm
my 15 year old daughter and i went together to see these movies and we loved them. i am intrigued by vampires and wish edward would bite me and i could live for eternity with no worries but come on most people and teens understand that this is make believe and does not happen in our world. everyone loves to find something to complain about with everything we do these days instead of just enjoying your time here and being happy. these movies are make believe and your girls should be told that and explained that to where they understand it and can just be infactuated with the idea without acting on it. my daughter is not allowed to date or have boyfriends yet because i want her to be mature enough to handle it and that is the main problem girls are allowed to do too much that is considered grown up stuff!!!! our t v shows give our girls more ideas than any of these movies so come on quit all the hype and enjoy the show!!!!
Angie
November 23rd, 2009
2:34 pm
Phil…no offense, but your wife may be an example of why anyone would be worried. That’s just crazy! It’s just a story!
MaryKay
November 23rd, 2009
2:35 pm
JJ – nothing AT ALL wrong with EW’s point (12:33). She’s absolutely correct – and yes I have a child. You don’t think that there are parents out there who are doing a poor job?
I’m a parent that’s doing my job, so I have no issues here.
Maybe you’re feeling a bit guilty?
Denise
November 23rd, 2009
2:36 pm
Phil – either you’re crazy for making up that story, or your wife has gone crazy. Either way, there’s issues in your house wayyyy beyond this movie.
David
November 23rd, 2009
2:47 pm
Sounds like Phil’s wife just wanted a reason to leave him.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
2:58 pm
I’ll tell you what I find un-realistic. Charlie Swan! How can you be the Chief of Police and be clueless that boys are walking in the bedroom window of your daughter? I wonder if it is a commentary on Bella having pretty much raised herself (Renee is just dippy!).
workingmom
November 23rd, 2009
3:20 pm
The books are a mildly enjoyable escape. The first movie was terrible and I doubt the second is any better, although it will make tons of money, ensuring the rest will get made. What I think the books gets right though, is how it feels to be a teenager from the teenager’s point of view. Not that it is right! A lot of teens thinks their parents are completely clueless (Belle’s mother is so self absorbed Belle has had to raise herself and her Dad is so clueless she takes on the parental role there as well. A lot of teenagers believe that, doesn’t make it true. A lot of teens also fall into that “if he doesn’t love me I’ll die” trap. THat isn’t true either but it doesn’t make it seem less real to the teen going through the breakup. I still remember the first time my heart was broken and that was close to 30 years ago! Remember these are books that were originally targeted toward the teen audience. They are not literary works of fiction and were never meant to be. Vampires are hot right now and Twilight will benefit from that. Let them read the books if they want.
Kelly
November 23rd, 2009
3:25 pm
@motherjanegoose
I love long books. When I was younger, I read books based on the number of pages they had. The more the better. Reading is my favorite hobby and has been since I can remember. I cook and clean with a book in my hand at home. I buy and checkout books based on recommendations of everyone. They don’t really have to be a certain genre just something that is interesting. Truthfully I only read the Harry Potter books to annoy my ex. He was one of those Christians that were over the top because of the Wizards. I didn’t realize I was going to enjoy them as much as I did.
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:31 pm
Okay, this is just stupid. If you think that this kinda stuff is provocative, walk into a High School and look around. Kids are doing so much more than what’s just on this movie, or in these books. So what.? Kids are doing worse things, it’s not like they are showing them how to make crack here. I mean come on, there’s nothing in this movie that these girls haven’t seen, heard, or probably done. I know that parent’s like to think that their precious child is just so flawless that they would never do the things that Bella’s done, but I hate to break it to you mommy, your little angel probably isn’t the innocent child you think. REALLY.! It’s a movie for crying out loud. If you think it’s a little too edgy for your princess to read then why the heck did you buy it for her or let her watch the movie.!? Seriously.
JJ
November 23rd, 2009
3:32 pm
Yea, MaryKay I’m feeling guilty. God knows I didn’t spend the last 18 years of my life getting my child prepared to be a productive member of society.
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:39 pm
Ya’ll are dumb. Arguing over what parent’s let there kids watch. IT’S THEIR KID.! LET THEM PARENT THEM HOW THEY WANT.! JJ & MaryKay, are these the examples you really set for your own children.? Grow up, it’s a damn movie. If you don’t like it, don’t watch it. End of story. Nobodys forcing you to.
Harrison
November 23rd, 2009
3:45 pm
This is a bad fiction movie , and i won`t allow this film for my kids ! they have nothing good to learn from this
Samm.
November 23rd, 2009
3:48 pm
EXACTLY.! It’s FICTION. FAKE, NOT REAL.! Can you not explain that to your children.? You people who are so against this are really starting to irritate me. If your child can’t understand the concept of fiction they don’t need to watch it.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
4:09 pm
OK being evil here….It was a Mom from Gwinnett that had issues with Potter. Is it Moms from Gwinnett getting bent over Twilight?
Phil Brown
November 23rd, 2009
4:25 pm
Denise your right, The problem may be in the house. We are still together and she has said she’s sorry more than once. But I’m waiting for the next time. Still after 10 years of marriage, she never acted that way untill the movie.
DB
November 23rd, 2009
5:45 pm
Speaking of obsessive love: “Romeo & Juliet”, anyone? And they MAKE them read that in high school!!!
Tiffany
November 23rd, 2009
6:22 pm
Don’t any of you remember what it is like to be a teenager in love? I can really relate to how weird Bella gets…I can’t say I’ve ever dated any vampires, but I can remember those relationships that you felt like your life depended on. This is simply a retelling of star crossed lovers that has been told time and time again. None of these characters are or should be role models. If your kids can’t deal with all of the emotional issues then they are probably too young to see this movie. As for me… I love it. GO TEAM JACOB!
motherjanegoose
November 23rd, 2009
6:43 pm
@ FCM…haha…I am in Gwinnett and had no qualms with Harry Potter nor Twilight…I have read neither.
@ Kelley…that is awesome that you like long books. I am usually good for about 350 pages, unless it is an author I really like. Sometimes, I have read most all of a particular author’s books and come to one I do not like at all…to me, that is so weird!
I love to read and enjoy finding out about new authors too! I just do not re read books and I rarely ever watch a movie twice either.
FCM
November 23rd, 2009
8:59 pm
MJG — at least you do not judge a book you do not know. I said I was being evil when I made the statement ;)
motherjanegoose
November 24th, 2009
7:59 am
@ FCM…there…now see I do not know everything….LOL!
FCM
November 25th, 2009
11:48 am
Reported in the AJC’s interview with Edi Gathegi (Laurent) about basically the question that is this column’s headline “EG: If anything, it’s not going to screw up a generation but inform women of what they deserve. And what they deserve is to be in a relationship where they are treated with respect and really cared about. That’s what the women love about Edward. He’s the consummate gentleman. He puts her first. That’s what they all want. And if they can read a book like that where they see someone providing that then maybe they won’t put up with the boyfriend who doesn’t respect them. ” Well ok then. IF my children can realize they should have someone who respects them, and is not trying constantly to get sex, and is truly wants what is best for them, WITHOUT the creepy staring at them sleep each night. COOL! Girls today should realize they deserve something better than I have seen the guys at the pool treating their g/f.
Magenta
November 30th, 2009
1:39 pm
I only have a grown son, but this weekend there were some young girls among the extended family for Thanksgiving. One of them started talking about Edward and another compared him to a boy she likes in high school. Soon the conversation got to where you could see these girls were really going off on flights of fancy and would be too far gone if somebody didn’t steer them back to reality. So I told them about some of the guys I dated in high school. Most of them were clueless idiots who couldn’t string sentences together, or they’d make outrageous, boastful, macho statements that were a complete turnoff. Not to mention the horrifying hygiene and misuse of cologne…
Pretty soon the girls began to think about some of their male classmates and eventually they were in agreement that a Hollywood movie or novel bears very little resemblance to everyday reality. That was a relief to all of us.