Comments on: Jacksons call dad Joseph: Is first name OK for parents?

By: rkymtn

rkymtn — Mon, 21 Dec 2009 00:03:06 +0000

My future mother-in-law is called by her first name by all three of her sons, her grandkids, just everyone. That’s what she wants to be called. I don’t get it! As we are wrapping presents for her, I don’t know what my daughter should label the one to her future grandmother. I’m a northerner but transplanted to the Deep South at an early age, so we do use Ma’am and Sir but for grandparents it’s Mom-Mom, Pop-pop, Grandma and Grandpa. This just seems weird to me for my future hubbie to call his own mother by her first name. His children call him Dude. That’s even stranger and disrespectful, IMO.

By: Magenta

Magenta — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 18:22:01 +0000

Sometimes it’s tricky being a Yankee in the South. The “Ms. Firstname” custom doesn’t exist where I grew up, but you were expected to say “Ms. Lastname” until that person said “Oh, call me Firstname.” And people usually switched to first names after a very brief introductory period. After being “lunch buddies” at work with some very Southern women, I finally (15+ years after moving here) started using the “Ms. Firstname.” Now it feels strange to say anything else.

A close friend at church is a fellow Yankee transplant. She walked into the shoe store where my son (Southern by birth, Yankee by attitude) worked, and he greeted her “Hi, Firstname!” He was roundly scolded by boss and co-workers alike for leaving off the “Ms.” When he related that to her later, she said “You ever call me ‘Ms. Firstname,’ and I’ll smack you.”

Like I said, it’s tricky.

By: Native Atlanta

Native Atlanta — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 02:07:24 +0000

If Joe Jackson is your dad – you call him whatever he wants to be called. My mother was old school and if she wanted me to call her Betty – you bet my sweet___ I would call her that – because it would be my sweet ____. As Janet said – It is what it is.

By: Dana

Dana — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 03:54:54 +0000

My mom says that when she was growing up, that my grandmother told her kids to call her by her first name which was Lucille, and they were from the South.(Alabama) My grandmother had 11 kids. No twins in the bunch mind you (that is really irrelevant just thought it was interesting to add.) I always thought that to be strange. I couldn’t get away with calling her by her name when i was growing up though…go figure

By: Jacks Mum

Jacks Mum — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 15:28:09 +0000

I think it is hilarious when women insist on being called grandmother because anything else makes them feel old. Grandmother makes me think of an elderly woman in in old fashioned photograph.

By: fk

fk — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:26:45 +0000

My aunt was “Sister” to my dad and two other sisters. She signed cards to her siblings as “Sis.” They grew up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Always thought calling the second eldest daughter “Sister,” was an Irish tradition. Both sides of my dad’s family were Irish immigrants, with no ties to the South. The youngest sister was called “Baby,” for many years.

By: JATL

JATL — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 00:43:02 +0000

I, too, am 100% southern, and I also hate Bubba and Sissy. It is rednecky. I do find that we southerners who aren’t rednecks (it’s true, we really exist), often will refer to other siblings as “Sister” or “Brother”. I wasn’t even thinking of it and asked one of my DOGS one time in front of a bunch of northern friends if she was looking for “Sister” -another dog not named Sister -and they all commented that it was such a southern thing.

By: motherjanegoose

motherjanegoose — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:35:52 +0000

@newstepmom…well, I lived there quite a while ago and things certainly could be different now!

By: new stepmom

new stepmom — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 21:25:35 +0000

MJG that is interesting, we found that the mid atlantic states were far more relaxed in adult/child etiquette than the south. I love hearing about the different cultures within the regions of the US. I was always told by my parents to use Mr/Mrs Last name and if the adult said use their first name then Miss/Mr. First Name came into play.

Becky-I can totally relate to that feeling from my grandmother. She was very cold and far more partial to my dad’s sister’s kids than to me and my brother. My dad is very warm and loving as is his brother, but his sister is also very cold-strange. I was very fortunate though, because my other grandparents were so loving and nurturing it made up for it in a lot of ways.

Princessnik-I am as southern as a butterbean and HATE the Bubba and Sissy stuff. I think of it as redneck as opposed to southern, but just my 2cents.

By: princessnik

princessnik — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 19:08:42 +0000

My daughter does know my name first middle and last and the correct spelling and she also knows not to address my by my name. She calls me Momma. As a joke she and my niece started referring to my Mom as Granny only because she used to cringe when they did LOL. None of that Nanna Mee-Maw stuff I dislike that also. And whats the deal with referring to brothers and sisters as Bubba and Sissy I HATE that. Is that a southern thing also?