Comments on: How stressed are your kids? Do you know what’s making them feel so anxious?

By: FCM

FCM — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 16:13:16 +0000

My brother was diagnosed in the 3rd grade (this was the 80s) with stress related ulcers. Took 3 different specialists at (then) Scottish Rite to confirm.

I had them by the end of HS.

LIFE is tough. Whomever said childhood was easy is looking at it from an adult perspective with nostalgia. Just because their problem is not how to pay the mortgage, or will they have a job next week, does not make the problem less real.

IF we believe we are here to help our children gain lifeskills then we have to accept their ’small’ stress (mentioned above) are part of what hits them to prepare them for the ‘big’ stresses of adulthood. Thus we need to teach them coping skills.

Parents are AWLAYS the role models.

By: motherjanegoose

motherjanegoose — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 03:43:13 +0000

@ fk….great advice and I agree with you that Junior year is tough. Both of my kids have told me so.
Sometimes, life skills are also important and mapping things out with your child can give them some guidelines of what to do when they are on their own.

By: fk

fk — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:04:46 +0000

Mom of 3: Jr. year is a very tough year. You’re fortunate that your son has confided in you. It is so important that he knows that he has your support. Good luck to all of you. You will find a workable solution, and in the process, he will learn to deal with stress in a productive way, a lesson he will carry thru life. In realizing this, he has shown just how strong and mature he already is.

My son decided that he was going to quit all three sports towards the end of his junior year. Huh? He had a job and would rather earn money than attend the grueling workouts. And, he would have more free time. It was his decision, and we thought that he would be sorry…someday. We really did not want him to quit all three sports, but it was his senior year and, like you, wanted him to have fond memories, and not recall his senior year trapped into participating in sports. Well, the first season sport coach talked him into staying, but in a different capacity. And, now in college, he’s still involved with that very sport, in the same capacity, only at college…and earned scholarship money for it. You just don’t know to where the bend in the road may lead.

It is so important that kids learn how to deal with stress before leaving home. College, or whatever the choice, is a whole new set of freedoms, challenges and responsibilities, that are exhilarating, but can be debilitating as well, especially when they realize they are the only ones who will be held accountable. The last thing we want them to think is that they are letting us down.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:49:00 +0000

To Mom of Three Boys: We don’t always know what our children are going through…what a blessing it is that you are now able to help him through this. Good luck to you and your son.

By: Mom of 3 Boys

Mom of 3 Boys — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 18:36:33 +0000

We are going through this with our 17 year old son. Over the last two months he has suddenly been having bouts of heartburn. Then he went through a week of being really tired & had no appetite. I thought it might be mono. I took him to the doctor. The doctor said from the get go he thought it was stress & not heartburn but panic attacks. He suggested our son take a break from his sports. At first I was mad with the doctor. I didn’t like him telling our child to just stop. That is not how life works. I also didn’t believe he was stressed. I am stressed, but him?? When we got in the car I asked my son what he thought and he agreed with the doctor. I couldn’t believe it. He came out and said he felt a lot of stress with all his school work and worrying about the college process and upcoming races. He has not given up his after school activites. He said that is what he enjoys the most and didn’t want to give it up. He can’t give up school. He is a junior and this is a very important year for him which is part of the stress. So, we are working together to plan his week out better. To look ahead at the week and get a grasp at what he has on his plate. On Sunday’s we sit down together and map out his week. We have been doing this for 3 weeks now and I think it is helping. We are also looking at his diet and sleep patterns to try to make sure is getting the food & sleep he needs. It broke my heart to hear him say he was very stressed. This time of his life should be carefree, full of memories and fun!!!!! I hope together we can work to make things a bit easier and teach him ways to deal with stress. Life is stress and teens need to be taught how to deal with it. They can’t just quit because they are stressed.

By: motherjanegoose

motherjanegoose — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 02:29:50 +0000

@ seriously ( so glad we actually know who you are and that you are sharing something of value… excuse me the rest of you) no, I am too busy working and being paid for my advice. The group today was hoping for 125 and had over 200. They had to turn away people at the door
( who came to hear me). I am fully aware that many on this blog do not care for my opinion…so what.

WHY would I want to kiss up to Theresa? You have got to me kidding me. I do not know her personally. I simply ( unlike others) respect the fact that she is the one who decides where this blog starts most days and REALLY it does not matter if some ( like you ) give a rat’s toot what she is talking about. I try to convey this message but some posters ( like you) are too dense to realize that she has been doing this for years and does not need you and /or EVERYONE to agree with whatever she is posting. She does not even care if I agree…so what.

Sorry for the rant, those who have a clue …please ignore.

@ nicole…I never had a close relationship with my own mother…I am sad for you. Perhaps you can find other adult role models. I have oodles of friends ( imagine it) and there are those some adults out there who could help you…check in with a teacher you trust.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 20:25:15 +0000

I am 13 but my mom just pays a lot of attention to my little sisster ever since she was born i never get a lone time with her anymore i sometimes feel left out of the family my mom and dad usualy fight a lot and she sometimes takes the stress out on me i had a hard past life and know it dosnt seem any diffrent all that i wish for is that me and my mom can get along one day i feel like she dosent even know me

By: deidre_NC

deidre_NC — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:54:44 +0000

this whole world is stressful. kids have to hear and see too much stuff that really should be for adults only. i stopped watching the news on tv when clinton ‘didnt have sex’…my god ..my then 4 or 5 yo asked me what oral sex was!! i told her it was when people talked about sex. of course she didnt know what sex was…but geeze…it made me realize what she was taking in just listening to the news..just hearing it..not even watching it. there is too much on tv that kids really dont need to worry about yet. not to mention the million activities they are made to partake in. they dont go outside and run around and climb trees and play in the creeks…they have to stay alone too much because both parents work. kids have to grow up way too early these days.

By: Seriously'~?

Seriously'~? — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:22:31 +0000

Oh My God. Motherjanegoose didn’t not impart any of her perfect parenting wisdom on us today. I can’t BELIEVE that she didn’t tell us all how perfect and non stressed she kept all her children. I can tell Teresa’s not here this week, she’s not desperatly trying to kiss her you-know-what.

What a nice break!!!!

By: ZachsMom

ZachsMom — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:52:39 +0000

@oneofeach4me PLEASE don’t feel bad. It is nice to know that other moms struggle also.