Do adults without kids waste their time?
My husband ran across a column which basically says adults without children waste their time. Robert Pagliarini, a financial consultant and author, wrote that the child-free have so much time on their hands they are never pressed to do anything and because of that they waste time.
Here are some excerpts from his CBS Money Watch column:
“I have friends without kids and I want to wring their neck every time they say, ‘I’m so busy. I don’t have enough time.’ You don’t have enough time?! Are you kidding me? My theory, which seems to be much more popular with my friends that have children, is that people without kids are inefficient and don’t fully value their free time…”
“Common sense says that if you have children, you will not be as productive. There’s no way you will be able to get as much done. That book you want to write? It will take a lot longer. Time for exercise? Limited. People without kids have so much more free time that it’s almost unfathomable….”
“I only have a fraction of the time to read, work, exercise, watch TV, etc. that I used to. Because of that, I do things faster and I’ve eliminated people and eliminated things that aren’t important. My productivity has remained level but my efficiency has gone through the roof because of my daughter.”
I do agree with his theory that the busier you are the efficient you are and the more you get done. I also agree that as a parent you get infinitely better at managing your time and working in a much more efficient manner. You have to.
Do you think the child-free waste their valuable free time? Do you think that people who have never had children can fathom how time pressed you become with kids? Do you think that people with kids do work more efficiently and get more done than adults without kids? What do you think of Pagliarini’s theory?
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116 comments Add your comment
Annie
October 29th, 2009
3:53 pm
@FCM – yes I was so pleasantly surprised; usually it’s a war of words with snippy comments and put downs galore. Today those are in the minority and it’s wonderful to see it. Finally proof that we are all capable of having a decent discussion without taking cheap shots. Long may it last!
JATL
October 29th, 2009
4:44 pm
Sugar -you’re not very smart, are you? I have kids (although when I’m old they may be living in China for all I know), but you’re one of those people who just cannot imagine how on earth anyone could be fulfilled or busy without children. I usually find folks who feel the way you do to be a bit low on the intelligence scale. I also have a number of friends who are both couples and singles who would really beg to differ with you! As far as being old and alone -who’s going to guarantee your kids will be around? I see lots of cases where the kids pretty much neglect mom and dad even though they were raised really well. There are no guarantees in this life! And it’s not just that you expressed your opinion -you did it in an arrogant and smug manner. Hence -the snarky replies.
Emily
October 29th, 2009
4:47 pm
“I wish some childless adults would realize how much more time consuming it is when you have children.”
Ok – first, we are not childLESS, we are Childfree. Childless makes it seem like we we lost something. No – being childfree is a choice.
Which brings me to number two: For all the parents who complain about how time consuming it is when you have children. Having kids was YOUR choice – you should have known what you were getting into before you spread your legs and got preggers. BABIES = TIME… Lots and Lots of Time. In fact, the next 18+ years of your life will be consumed by your kids. GET OVER IT….
Annie
October 29th, 2009
4:53 pm
@ Sugar – I know a lot of parents would like to believe that their kids will be around for them later in life but life rarely goes according to plan; my parents had 5 kids and out of the 5, 4 of us have emigrated and the 5th really doesn’t live close to my parents, although she is still in the same country – 3 of us aren’t even on the same continent! We all have our own lives, our own families to take care of. I’ve spoken to my siblings and they have no objections to their kids emigrating if they so wish. All my parents wanted was for us to be happy & healthy, all my siblings want for their kids is for them to be happy & healthy. I have to ask, did you/do you tend to your parents as they got/get older?
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
October 29th, 2009
5:09 pm
Hey JJ — We do have a Halloween topic for tomorrow actually from Keith — my regular substitute host — She had a burning question for her family’s trick-or-treating. So tomorrow’s topic is from Keith!
deidre_NC
October 29th, 2009
7:06 pm
tig…there is no such thing as an amiacable divorce in a kids mind…thats probably most of the problem…
simran
October 30th, 2009
5:20 am
Omg why does someone wasting or not wasting their time have to be anyone else’s business. If the childfree are wasting their time, that’s good. We’re not all machines that can work 24/7 just to show to other how busy we are. What’s the obsession with appearing busy and feeling important and useful. You haven’t lived if you haven’t wasted your time and had some fun! Live a little, people!
Sugar
October 30th, 2009
7:53 am
My family is very “family oriented”. My parents live close to us and we are very active with them, and they are a huge part of our lives. Our kids see this.
So to the naysayers – Whatever. I’m happy, my family is happy. That’s all that matters to us. Our happiness. And we have worked very hard to get to where we are now. My kids will always be around. That’s the way there were raised……..Family first!!!
I am with you Sugar...
October 30th, 2009
7:56 am
…family first – though I doubt my kids will say boo to me if I am still around in older age (I am already old even though they are still in college!).
Karin
October 30th, 2009
4:02 pm
Well, Sugar, I hope it works out that way for you, though I have to say that the decision is in the hands of your children, not your own.
Elizabeth
October 30th, 2009
6:12 pm
My husband and I have no children, own our own businesses and travel several times a month. That is our lifestyle and it may not appeal to others but for us its the best!
Heather L.
November 3rd, 2009
1:28 pm
As a childless time-waster, I feel the need to comment on this article (my childless time-wasting cousin shared it with me because she was inefficently managing her time surfing internet articles). I think the word “busy” is a relative term. Yes, those of you with children are “busy” driving carpool, cleaning up cherios and microwaving dinner after work. While those of us who do not have children are mismanaging our time by volunteering at the local food shelter, working in the nursery at church (where you drop off your children), coordinating office events (because the people with kids never volunteer), planning economy stimulating vacations, and (when we get board) we pay really high taxes due to no deductions. Have to run… too busy to keep writing.
Angela
November 14th, 2009
3:00 am
To Amy, I couldn’t have worded it better! Genius and all entirely true in my life as well.
Angela
November 14th, 2009
3:03 am
To Heather L., I love it!! Again… Genius!
Julie
January 8th, 2010
8:39 am
What I don’t understand is – why is everyone so hung up on constant productivity?
Is it possible that some people choose not to have children because they understand and enjoy the subtlety of life at its most quiet? They can face the time and space that silence takes up in their own simple, solitary company. I’m one of those people. I hear every day how difficult it is to be a parent – how the kids take up so much space and time in people’s lives, how hectic everything is. But, then in the next breath, those same people go on and on about the 12 different television shows they are “totally hooked on” and how they still haven’t found a job in 12 months (yes, that is the case with at least one of my friends). To hear these people say how stressed they are and then to blame their children is sad. I feel bad for the kids who are put under this kind of burden, and the example they are given about time management and priorities.
What I also don’t understand is that, when people who haven’t yet had children hear parent’s complain like this all of the time, and then those people then choose to have children *anyway*, and then…THEN…they still go on to complain about all the time they no longer have! C’mon, everyone has heard it forever. Parents are strapped to the hilt. I get it. We should all get it. I’ve heard it countless times. And yet, there are still parents out there saying it, as if it’s NEWS! Why did you have children, then??
It seems to me that it’s a badge of honor in the US to completely fill up on activity so that you can skate by life without ever having touched it’s subtlety. And this article totally feeds into that mentality. “Aren’t we so great because we are stressed to the hilt?!” Martyrs, all of them. Pathetic. Life is so full of dull moments, but it seems to me that people are afraid of that. The moments when you are alone, there is nothing to do, and time just ticks. Those moments are much more full than some people realize. But because they don’t realize it, some people think that they should have a family – get married, have children, etc. Because if you do that, then you’ll be guaranteed never to have to feel the subtlety of life again. Instead, every day will be extra-ordinary – a constant thrill ride. What a delusion.
What I’m saying is basically that the reason why people sit there and complain about time, whether a parent or not, is because they are afraid of time in the first place.
freetimejunkie
May 8th, 2010
10:35 pm
Kids are overrated in my book. Everyone thinks having a baby is so cute(which it may be at first). However, those babies turn into teenagers and then adults that move away. Many people I know have had kids just to satisfy their parents need for grandchildren. Look at the way kids act in society today….consumed with electronics, engaged in sexual behaviors at a younger age and no respect for anyone. The parents are too busy working to teach their kids any manners or respect for others. I see it all the time! People need to start thinking about why they are having kids and realize what kind of future is in store for them in todays world.