Do adults without kids waste their time?
My husband ran across a column which basically says adults without children waste their time. Robert Pagliarini, a financial consultant and author, wrote that the child-free have so much time on their hands they are never pressed to do anything and because of that they waste time.
Here are some excerpts from his CBS Money Watch column:
“I have friends without kids and I want to wring their neck every time they say, ‘I’m so busy. I don’t have enough time.’ You don’t have enough time?! Are you kidding me? My theory, which seems to be much more popular with my friends that have children, is that people without kids are inefficient and don’t fully value their free time…”
“Common sense says that if you have children, you will not be as productive. There’s no way you will be able to get as much done. That book you want to write? It will take a lot longer. Time for exercise? Limited. People without kids have so much more free time that it’s almost unfathomable….”
“I only have a fraction of the time to read, work, exercise, watch TV, etc. that I used to. Because of that, I do things faster and I’ve eliminated people and eliminated things that aren’t important. My productivity has remained level but my efficiency has gone through the roof because of my daughter.”
I do agree with his theory that the busier you are the efficient you are and the more you get done. I also agree that as a parent you get infinitely better at managing your time and working in a much more efficient manner. You have to.
Do you think the child-free waste their valuable free time? Do you think that people who have never had children can fathom how time pressed you become with kids? Do you think that people with kids do work more efficiently and get more done than adults without kids? What do you think of Pagliarini’s theory?
Tell us what you think about the site
Customer Care »
Vacation stops, manage subscriptions and more
AJC Services
Sections
Other Editions
Visitor Agreement | Privacy Statement
© 2013 The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
116 comments Add your comment
A
October 29th, 2009
10:07 am
Sorry but this is a really lame topic. Whether you have kids or not, how you choose to spend your time is totally up to you. You can be as organized as you need to me, or you can veg in front of the TV. If you have kids, they are your priority, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do things for yourself as well. If you don’t have kids, that’s great too and you can manage your time how you wish.
I have a child, yet I’m tired of the whole “mommy martyr” complex as well. When people with kids complain about this or that, I always think to myself then why did you have kids. Really people, you made your bed!
Georgia Daaawg
October 29th, 2009
10:08 am
Sitting around on a computer blogging is a waste of time…yet both parents and no-parents are wasting their time doing it! I mean is blogging with strangers on a newspaper blog an efficient use of time? Oh the irony of this topic!
Pamela
October 29th, 2009
10:12 am
I will not say that people without children waste time. Each and every one of us have 24 or 25 hours in a day (when the time goes back one hour)and it’s up to each individual how they are going to spend that time. I sometimes find that single people don’t have a clue what it’s like to be a parent…especially a single parent trying to make ends meet. Even if they were raised in a single parent home they really don’t understand what it’s like. You really don’t have time for yourself until your child(ren) actually goes away to college.
YUKI
October 29th, 2009
10:18 am
I’m pretty sure you just read all of the entries and made one yourself…so…..
jt
October 29th, 2009
10:21 am
People with older kids make their own schedules busy. There is reason your child has to be a Chello player/soccer player/baseball player/dancer/karate master/quarterback/basketball player all at once if the don’t want to. I see these people shuttling their kids around to 5 different practices in one day and they kids don’t even want to be there. I don’t know about you but i’ve got a job in the afternoons if my kids WANTS to play sports or have an activity thats great and i’ll make it happen. But if they want to go to school and learn then come home and do homework and after that just relax with tv or video games fine with me because i like to do that too. Sure I would like my kid to be the next Chipper Jones but if he doesn’t want to then why force him and yourself.
Let them grow
October 29th, 2009
10:24 am
Why is this a topic anyway. People that have kids love them and they just fit in to their lives. People that dont have kids dont want them. Its up to the people. Find another topic to write about.
tj09
October 29th, 2009
10:26 am
Here’s the problem with his “theory”: while there is a point to be made that having children can cause people to become more stingy with their time and thus more efficient than they may have been before they had kids, the reverse is not necessarily true (that those without kids are inherently inefficient or waste time). That is either really silly logic, or (I think) just bait for controversy in order to get attention.
Jesse's Girl
October 29th, 2009
10:29 am
Change the topic people…as long as its semi-intelligent…Theresa won’t care. Talk as you wish.
Nora
October 29th, 2009
10:34 am
I’ve raised four children and now that they’re grown I have free time like I never knew before. There is just no comparison whatsoever in the time you have to yourself when you aren’t caring for children. When I spend a day babysitting my grandson I remember very clearly how much time childcare takes. The days I take care of him I get little else done (although I love every minute of it!)
motherjanegoose
October 29th, 2009
10:39 am
We ALL waste time. I know I have wasted lots of it on this blog but mostly, I enjoy being here. Today, I do not have to be at a meeting until after lunch and so I am enjoying a casual morning, reading the paper and actually sitting down for breakfast.
To me, the difference is having 24/7 radar about what is going on with your kids…it can be more mental than physical. Since I am spending 18 nights in hotels this month awaya from my family, I do not consider myself a helicopter mom…my daughter and I sat down and discussed the agenda. She is 17 and quite mature for her age. She gets hereslf up and off and rmembers when she is scheduled to work at her jobs. She also fixes dinner. My son is with us for a while. My husband is there too. They can figure it out BUT I do sometimes wonder how things are going. I call once a day.
Typically, those who do not have children are not concerned about a fever at 2 a.m., no milk in the fridge, do we have markers and a glue stick for that last minute homework assignment, whose turn is it to drop off or pick up the kids, is there clean underwear?
My daughter handed me a packet for her graduation announcements yesterday morning before I headed to three Kinder shows and the airport. She called me last night to see if I went throught the packet…NO. Then said, these are supposed to be turned in Friday. HAHA! I am in Wisconsin and considering how much they cost, I will not make a decision in haste….we have 7 MONTHS until graduation….surely some get wedding invitations ordered and printed in less time.
Next year, it will just be my husband…me and our dog. I will still wonder what is up with the kids but not having them on a day to day basis WILL give me more time. It was my choice to have kids and one I will NEVER regret.
Have a nice day all!
motherjanegoose
October 29th, 2009
10:42 am
Here is a new topic, if anyone is interested:
Will the H1N1 change your mind about eating at buffets?
I am at the Holiday Inn and did think about germs ( a bit) as I picked up my eggs, bacon and biscuits from the food counter.
I personally do not eat at Ryans or Golden Corral EVER …too much of a cattle call for me!
Stephanie
October 29th, 2009
10:45 am
i dont have kids. i dont waste my time. people who choose to have kids just decide to give up everything important to them (fun-wise) and dedicate their lives to that baby for the next 18 years. i go camping, watch TV, sleep in as late as i want on my days off, travel, work out, cook nice meals, lay around when i want, and i love life. no time wasting here! perfectly happy and i love kids but they are definately NOT for me.
whatever
October 29th, 2009
10:47 am
For all the parents who think we non-parents have it made?? Well privately we do. However at work, WE do plenty of the part you’re getting paid for. We’re in the office when you’re claiming your kid(s) are sick for a week straight. We’re in the office when you’ve got to take your kid to the doctor at 2:30 on Friday afternoon. We’re in the office during the unexpected catastrophe that you couldn’t handle bacause you’ve got a kid to pick up. When over-time is called for, guess who the boss assumes is automatically required to drop everything?? There’s a deadline, but your kid comes first, so guess who’d stuck fixing the problem however long it takes? And if we didn’t, YOU wouldn’t have a job tomorrow. Your family time may be limited, but you take plenty of advantage of work hours and fellow employees. You made your choice and you milk it to your advantage so I don’t get this whole thread
JJ
October 29th, 2009
10:49 am
WEll, let’s see, I’ve managed to raise a child, work a full time job and still have plenty of time for ME..
I’m able to be spontaneous and go out of town at the drop of a hat. I’ve always been like that, kid or no kid. If I wanted to go somewhere or do something, the kid never stopped me from enjoying life. As a result, she is spontaneous and loves getting in the car, and going North, just to see where we end up.
This is a silly topic. Like the other poster have said, we all get the same 24 hours a day. It’s up to YOU how to use them wisely.
Jesse's Girl
October 29th, 2009
10:49 am
Ok Stephanie..now you’re playing the game. People with kids don’t give up the important-fun things. How stupid. Its all about choices and balance.
Kendall
October 29th, 2009
10:54 am
I wouldn’t say childless couples waste time but it is easier for them to do things on the fly and without limitation. It’s two very different lifestyles and like comparing apples to oranges.
Jimbo
October 29th, 2009
10:55 am
Oh parents, get off your cross. If your kids are held as evidence, a significant portion of you need to spend MORE time with your kids.
Christina
October 29th, 2009
11:03 am
Stephanie,
By all means, if kids are for you, then carry on. Too many people have kids who aren’t commited to the responsibility. But you don’t have to give up everything enjoyable when you have kids. I get up at 4:45 am so I can have a 30-minute run in the mornings. On Saturdays, I put him in the jogging stroller and take him with me for a nice, long, 4-mile run. The days I don’t run, I feel like there is extra weight on my shoulders. When my husband and I want to have a date night (or afternoon), our parents are thrilled to watch their grandson for a little while (and even more excited if it’s a sleepover).
I don’t sleep in. But even before I had my son, I considered 8 a.m. to be sleeping in. Now, 7 a.m. is sleeping in–big time. Any later than that, and I truly feel like I’m wasting my day. Personally, I’d rather be up and enjoying some “me” time before the little one is up and at it.
Sure, we haven’t been camping since he came along. We haven’t been out of the country since then. We certainly haven’t booked tickets for a spur-of-the-moment international trip with just weeks to plan (did that before we became parents). The only time we’ve been to a bar since he was born, is when we were out of town without him. We spent our week at the beach making sure he wasn’t too hot in the sun, too hungry, too thirsty, too close to the water, etc. But you know what? I’m fine with it. We got away for three days and went to Charleston for our wedding anniversary. The little man got some enjoyable grandparent time. At this time in our lives, we find it much more enjoyable to see the look of excitement on his face when we pull him across the back yard at “break neck” speed in his wagon–than spend time at a bar. Been there, done that, ready for the next thing. But I definitely don’t have any less enjoyable activity now; it’s just a change in the definition of what I find enjoyable.
And I watch TV, too. The DVR helps a lot. :-) We don’t have to “waste” time sitting through commercials, and we can watch movies in increments of 30-60 minutes, which is usually all we can stay awake for on any given night.
cookie19
October 29th, 2009
11:05 am
I am childless and like to stay busy. It depends on your environment. I work 40 + hours a week and attend college classes. My sister has a one year old so I spend a lot of time with her since we live close together. As far as exercise, if you really wanted to do it, you would make time for it. Some people make their kids their world and really do not have ENOUGH to do. Until the kids are 3 years old, yes you will be busy as a parent. After that, get the kid involved in after school/recreational activities (sports or reading groups).
Kendall
October 29th, 2009
11:07 am
Whatever, I have to disagree with you. If a project or deadline is at hand, the person to whom it is assigned is responsible to see it completed. When I was working, I never saw a co-worker get tapped on the shoulder to do my work so I could go home to my family. I stayed many a night until 9:00 completing presentations that had to be emailed to a client. And if you feel that way, have some kids and join the party my friend. Then you too can “milk” the calls from school or family obligations.
Faye
October 29th, 2009
11:11 am
How timely! Last Friday, my sister — parent of one 5-year-old — emailed me mid-afternoon to ask if I could take my nephew all day Saturday. She and her husband were both sick and she didn’t want her son to be stuck at home all day with his sick parents. In her email she acknowledged that she knew I had a lot going on (because we had talked earlier in the week about various plans we each had), but then said she hoped I could move my plans aside to watch my nephew. So that’s it in a nutshell: Because I do not have children, all of my life can be rearranged at the drop of a hat.
YUKI
October 29th, 2009
11:12 am
Kendall, I agree with you! Whatever just sounds bitter.
Kat
October 29th, 2009
11:12 am
I think people without children can do whatever they want with their time. Perhaps they spend hours of their time appreciating the time that they have without kids. I have three – I know I’d appreciate some free time.
Christina
October 29th, 2009
11:15 am
Whatever – I have to disagree, too. Go back and read the blog a couple days ago about keeping kids home when they’re sick. Seriously, first parents are chastized for sending kids to school when they’re sick and now you’re complaining that we’re keeping them home longer than necessary. As I said on that topic, my son had ear infections (among other viruses – thank you daycare) for five months straight. Yes, I missed a lot of time in the office for doctor appointments and fevers. But when I was home, I had the laptop with me in the kitchen so I could keep an eye on him, and I was responding to e-mails, completing assignments and turning around documents almost as quickly as if I had been in the office. In fact, I have to argue that my sick son is less of a distraction than some of my coworkers. The person who used to be my boss has never had children and didn’t understand how susceptible they are to germs. When one of our coworkers was out for a week because her daughter had the flu, my then-boss treated her like she was playing hookie. Meanwhile, I was getting just as much e-mail response from her as I do when she’s in the office . . . kids really do get sick A LOT. And unless you want us spreading their germs to everyone else, we need to keep them home.
Annie
October 29th, 2009
11:34 am
MomToK……..that was humor; which was obviously lost on some people. In the future, I’ll try to keep all emotion out of my comments
jack5656
October 29th, 2009
11:53 am
Jesus didn’t have children……I bet there were a bunch of parents looking at him and muttering “Sure…I could be a SAVIOUR too if I was child free!”
Perspective
October 29th, 2009
11:54 am
It is not possible to compare two people because there are no two people on this planet that are 100% identical.
I think what this article is really saying is this:
“I never realized how much time I wasted prior to having children. Now that I have kids, I realize I could have done so much more with that extra time.”
While this is a great realization, it doesn’t give you the right to compare anyone to your former self. It does give you the right to inform people who may not realize how much time/effort it takes to raise a kid. That would be much better received and would have the potential to positively impact more people.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
October 29th, 2009
12:07 pm
Speaking of time — left at 9 back at 12 from doctors office and getting meds — No swine flu here thank goodness!! Just bronchitis for both son and Dad — they didn’t keep their hats on in the 45 degree tent!!! I did!! Very, Very relieved!! I love Zithromax!!
JJ
October 29th, 2009
12:15 pm
Theresa, sleeping in 45 degree weather without a hat DOES NOT get you bronchitis…….cold weather does not make you sick.
Theresa Walsh Giarrusso
October 29th, 2009
12:17 pm
I know germs cause illness not cold. clearly a germ was present. If you body is cold or wet your resistance is lowered.
Jessica
October 29th, 2009
12:31 pm
JJ, exposing yourself to cold weather doesn’t make you sick, but it can affect your body’s ability to fight off illness.
Sugar
October 29th, 2009
12:37 pm
People who are without kids are going to be very lonely when they get old. No one will be there to take care of them. No grandchildren. The will end up at the Nursing home all alone and no one will come visit them. Makes for a lonely life…….No thank you. I love my kids, glad I have them, wouldn’t do anything different. they are the reason I get up in the mornings. They are the reason I work harder, play harder and enjoy living.
They have never wasted my time, or been a burden. They are THE BEST thing that EVER happened to me. I cannot imagine life without my kids. There is such a personal reward in my life. I’m happier now that I have kids.
I could not imagine going through life without kids.
Photius
October 29th, 2009
12:44 pm
Hey Sugar, stuff it. Having children is not all about you, however it sure sound like it from what you wrote. Many people are very happy without children – so be happy for what you have and keep fillant selfish comments such as above to yourself please. Life and children are not all about you; in 100 years nobody will remember your name anyway and were all going to be dust soon…
Becky
October 29th, 2009
12:45 pm
People that choose to have children do not always give up fun thigns in their life..As someone else said, different times, different day..Most people as they get older (IMO) want to do different things..If I want to spend 2 hours (like Fred)waiting on my two little ones to do something that takes them five minutes, that is my right..I just think that your time is yours to make of it what you want..
Denise
October 29th, 2009
12:45 pm
Single and no kids, here. Nothing I choose to do with my time is a waste of it. If I decide I just want to sit on my couch and daydream it’s a good time spent to me because that is what I want to do. In fact, I might do that tonight! When someone has kids, he or she has to do different things in life than I do but that doesn’t mean he/she spends his/her time more “wisely”. He/she just has more obligations to fit into life. I think the whole subject reeks of someone feeling burdened and jealous of the free time that is lost when the kids come along.
jack5656
October 29th, 2009
12:57 pm
wow Sugar….way to be sensitive to those who are physically incapable of having children by telling them that, through no fault of their own, they are destined to have sad, lonely, pathetic twilights of their lives because there is no other relationship in life that can fill the void of not having children. Someone to take care of you when you can’t control your bodily functions or chew solid foods. Thanks though for the insight, because I had no idea that all those ederly folks in those assisted living facilities were childless. I mean, by your logic, no child would willingly send their parents there, right?
Becky
October 29th, 2009
1:00 pm
Uhhh Sugar, I have a sister that has 3 daughters and she’s lonely..She devoted her entire life to them as they were growing up..Now she’s lucky to see any one of them once per month..Two of them live within a 5 mile readius of her..Guess what? When they grow up, your might not be there for you, so don’t think that people without children will grow up to be very lonely people..
On the other hand I have a very good friend that he and his wife chose to not have kids and they are not lonely or missing out on anything..They are both retired and travel all over the country and live very fulfilling lives..Again, toeach their own to have or not to have..
Sugar
October 29th, 2009
1:34 pm
Oh sorry. Here I am expressing an opinion, and saying how glad I am I made the decision to have kids, and a few of you get testy…..WTF?
whatever
October 29th, 2009
1:46 pm
Nope, not bitter, just seen it happen over and over. Yes kids do get sick alot, but some parents also pimp that. I’ve seen co-workers with kids who only get sick on Mondays and Fridays. Even if YOU’VE never done it, others have and do. My boss mentioned the Monday/Friday pattern and all of a sudden the kid was only sick on Tuesdays and Thursday from then on. I’ve seen this a thousand times so congratulations if you have a laptop at home or take your kids to work. ALL parents are NOT as responsible to their jobs as YOU are.
Becky
October 29th, 2009
1:46 pm
Sugar, its the way that you expressed your opinion that makes it sound like you were being nasty..We just expressed our opinion on the fact that not all people that don’t have kids will be lonely when they get older..
FCM
October 29th, 2009
2:02 pm
@ Annie regarding: “I fear this will be another posting that prompts people to look down on childless people as sub par or something.”
Did we surprise you?
Meme
October 29th, 2009
2:26 pm
whatever
October 29th, 2009
10:47 am
I have to give you an A+ for that statement. It has happened to me many times.
jack5656
October 29th, 2009
2:28 pm
Sugar…Becky is right, the packaging in which you expressed your opinion was at best, insensitive, and at worst condescending. To make a statement like childless people will end up “lonely” and “in nursing homes where no one will visit them” as if it were fact was just too much of a stretch to not get some backlash. And to follow it up with you why you’re not going to be doomed to that fate because of the decisions you made in your life was pretty sanctimonious.
Riley
October 29th, 2009
2:31 pm
@Faye
Wow, I hope your sister knows that you really care that little about family if you talk about her like that. So your sister and her husband are sick and they ask, not demand but ask, if you can watch your nephew and you feel singled out because you’re single? Can you even see the ground from up there on your high horse?
Meme
October 29th, 2009
2:35 pm
@ Riley, If Faye’s sister is like some I have seen her asking is in a way that to refuse would be a family feud.
Riley
October 29th, 2009
2:39 pm
@Meme
Possibly true, but it’s more her feeling asked ONLY because she was single that I felt was the main issue.
Meme
October 29th, 2009
2:43 pm
Being single and childless, I choose to spend as much time as possible with my sister’s grandchildren (just like I did with my siblings children). I also do a lot of volunteer work at my school because so many of the teachers have families. Do I regret not having children. Yes, I do. However, I never married and so that was out of the question.
madmommy
October 29th, 2009
3:27 pm
I know that when I was single I was asked to watch my neices and nephews a million and one times and not once have I asked them to keep my child. My friends and I exchange kids from time to time since it’s easier to watch two toddlers than one since they have someone to play with.
If you can help, then help but if not offer to take him/her to a friends house for a while or see if they can visit some other family members for a while or just tell them you’ve had these plans for a while now and although you would like to help, it’s just not possible this weekend. Done. Not sure how old they are, but they can figure out other things to do, it is Haloween weekend. Surely they have some friends they could hang out with or go to a sleep over (most of those are planned on the fly).
There are always ways in which to do more with your time, it’s all about balance and timing. Both of us still play sports every week and pretty much do the important things we want to do, so you just have to find the time. It’s there, you just have to figure it out and make it work for everyone, can’t just be about one person all the time. Working out and running are important to me and so I am going to find the time to get that done.
madmommy
October 29th, 2009
3:28 pm
Just read what I wrote and I really need to proof read a bit more before sending things in. Geez, it’s horrible and I’m sorry to anyone to reads that and trys to understand what I wrote. Ugh!
JJ
October 29th, 2009
3:39 pm
Thresa, how about a Halloween topic tomorrow please? Like do you let your kids trick or treat?…….OR share your memories of a dying custom, Trick or Treating…..How do you Trick or treat, with family, neighbors, with or without alcohol….LOL
Are there any Halloween customs people do?
Let’s have some fun tomorrow…..I for one am exhausted from work and would like some fun…..thanks.