Do adults without kids waste their time?

My husband ran across a column which basically says adults without children waste their time. Robert Pagliarini, a financial consultant and author, wrote that the child-free have so much time on their hands they are never pressed to do anything and because of that they waste time.

Here are some excerpts from his CBS Money Watch column:

“I have friends without kids and I want to wring their neck every time they say, ‘I’m so busy. I don’t have enough time.’ You don’t have enough time?! Are you kidding me? My theory, which seems to be much more popular with my friends that have children, is that people without kids are inefficient and don’t fully value their free time…”

“Common sense says that if you have children, you will not be as productive. There’s no way you will be able to get as much done. That book you want to write? It will take a lot longer. Time for exercise? Limited. People without kids have so much more free time that it’s almost unfathomable….”

“I only have a fraction of the time to read, work, exercise, watch TV, etc. that I used to. Because of that, I do things faster and I’ve eliminated people and eliminated things that aren’t important. My productivity has remained level but my efficiency has gone through the roof because of my daughter.”

I do agree with his theory that the busier you are the efficient you are and the more you get done. I also agree that as a parent you get infinitely better at managing your time and working in a much more efficient manner. You have to.

Do you think the child-free waste their valuable free time? Do you think that people who have never had children can fathom how time pressed you become with kids? Do you think that people with kids do work more efficiently and get more done than adults without kids? What do you think of Pagliarini’s theory?

116 comments Add your comment

Off topic...

October 29th, 2009
7:13 am

but related to the end of yesterday when you posted that Michael was now sick, too – both he and Walsh are reaping the benefit of the weekend camping trip in the rain and cold – I know, I know, you can only “catch” a cold from a carrier to whom you have been exposed – they were exposed to plenty.

My question regarding the old theorem(sp) about only “catching” from being exposed – how did the very first person get the symptoms?

Christina

October 29th, 2009
7:38 am

This should be a hot topic. Before we had kids, I thought we were busy. Now that I have one child, I think we are busy. I know that when we have more, I will look back on my one-child days as relaxing. While I wouldn’t say childless adults “waste time” I would say they don’t realize how much time they have. They truly don’t realize it. They think they have a lot to do (and some really do, but when a lot to do includes four or five TV shows every week, it’s all perception).

I wish some childless adults would realize how much more time consuming it is when you have children. Yes, I am tired of hearing them say how busy they are. I’ll admit it. When my sister-in-law gets home from work at 3:30 and complains that she is too busy to work out — yet she keeps current with no fewer than four (maybe more) TV shows every week and spends hours each Saturday watching football and movies . . . I just roll my eyes. I don’t care that they have more time on their hands; I just don’t want to hear the complaints that they’re “too busy” to fit in things that I manage to do while working longer hours and keeping up with a toddler.

Jesse's Girl

October 29th, 2009
7:50 am

Holy crap on a stick y’all…this topic is gonna go lunatic really quickly! Of course you have more free time before you have babies..duh. Thats not in question. I think the meat of the issue has less to do with time management and more to do with the appreciation and savoring of that “extra” time. I know Jesse and I did not truly comprehend the bliss in which we were living….in regards to our free time. Waking up late…grinding our own beans….reading 3 papers…I could go on. If I could go back in time….the only thing I would do is shake myself by the shoulders and say “PAY ATTENTION IDIOT!!!!!” I adore my life now…I worship my husband and our kids. But it would be frickin awesome to have one day of that time back. I’d mismanage the hell out of it!

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

October 29th, 2009
8:00 am

Hey Michael came down with it first and has had the higher fever up until about 4 a.m,. when Walsh spiked to 102.7 — so i’m heading to the doctor now — please play nice without me here to monitor. JG and other regulars help keep an eye on things — If anyone sees anything really in appropriate please hit report this link to it will be taken care of — I’ll probably be gone four hours — but that’a whole other topic!!!

Amy

October 29th, 2009
8:02 am

I’m proudly childfree (not childless) and I don’t waste any of my time. I am busy, with things of my choosing, that are important to me. They may not be the things that are important to you – I’m certainly not busy with cleaing up after children, attending PTA or fretting about large wild animals at Stone Mountain. However, my time isn’t wasted. That’s a true insult – it’s very close to saying that only parents are important. I guess none of you did anything worthwhile until you procreated? That’s sad.

catlady

October 29th, 2009
8:04 am

Wasn’t Rose sick last week? Hope they all feel better. Stay away from sick people.

Annie

October 29th, 2009
8:06 am

Just because I chose to not reproduce (and for that the world should thank me!), doesn’t mean I don’t live a full life. I don’t judge you for having kids, therefore you shouldn’t judge me for not having kids. It’s just different strokes for different folks.

My husband and I live a very full life. We tend to take a lot of last minute trips, which had we had kids wouldn’t be an option for us. We travel a lot, having been to Ireland, England, France, Italy, Belgium, Germany, Australia, New Zealand, & Mexico several times, plus many cities within the US.

If I choose to sit mindlessly in front of the tv at the end of a long work day, that is my choice; I have nobody to answer to, nor should I have to answer for that. But to say that childless people “waste their time” is an implication I resent – you don’t know what’s going on in someone else’s life, you don’t know what they’re dealing with; I fear this will be another posting that prompts people to look down on childless people as sub par or something.

*Sigh* let the crap throwing beging……………….

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

October 29th, 2009
8:12 am

Rose and the baby both had bronchitis — that came from Disney World — we had done a quick in and out to use up our tickets that were expiring in Dec.

Photius

October 29th, 2009
8:18 am

It appears like this is another post in order to pay tribute towards “Mommy Martyrdom”…

Babs

October 29th, 2009
8:20 am

Photius……….well said!

Fred

October 29th, 2009
8:21 am

As a parent I agree that those w/o kids do tend to have more available time. This does not mean that they have more free time or time to waste. Parents can and often do waste as much time (or even more) watching TV or even just waiting for the kids. I spent 5 hours last weekend at a swim meet (in which my daughter swam 3 races each lasting less than a minute), Apart from those 3 minutes, I consider that time wasted as I had to stay in the area, yet could not interact with my daughter as the team was in a separate area. Please don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining about spending the time, I have sat at the meets in the past and will do it again, but i think it is very presumptuous and smacks of jealousy when those of us with kids lament the fact that those without have it easy and so much free time on their hands. We made a choice to have kids, there are both pros and cons to this choice depending on your point of view. But lets not complain about it. I made my choice and wouldn’t change it for the world.

TimeOnMyHands

October 29th, 2009
8:22 am

Choose to have a kid = choose to loose the freedom to be inefficient with your time. If I want to complain about not having enough time, that’s my perogative. I will still complain about not having enough time if kids ever come into the picture. If you have a kid, you chose to dedicate time to that kid. Right now I choose to dedicate time to camping, watching tv, going out on the weekends and the spur of the moment, playing softball, mountain biking, etc.

Amy

October 29th, 2009
8:23 am

Fred – I really appreciate seeing a parent who “gets it”. We all have 168 hours a week, parent or not. It’s up to the individual how to spend that time.

lakerat

October 29th, 2009
8:24 am

I cannot comnment on the wasting of time via either group, but I do know that the older the kids get the more YOUR/MY time is taken! I remember, when my 2 kids were under age 6 having a very good friend whose 2kids were ages 12 & 16 – she was always soooo busy. I remember telling her (many times) that there was no way anyone could be that busy (after all, I had 2 kids under ager 6!). Fortunately, for me, all she did was look at me, each time, and smile and said “Just wait”

SHE WAS RIGHT! I saw her a few months ago after not seeing her for several years as my kids went from elementary school to middle school to high school and then on to college. I reminded her of how nice she was and how RIGHT she was; again, she just smiled and all she said was “told ya”!

So, parents of small chldren, if you think you are busy now, just wait!

Michelle

October 29th, 2009
8:28 am

I don’t necessarily think people without kids waste their time,they just use at how they want. Their perception of being busy is just that, “theirs”! Some parents do a horrible job of managing time too. I think each person does it the best they can.

I know before I had my little one, we would stay up later and watch at least 1-2 TV shows each night. Now, I put the little one to bed and I am right behind him! I’m exhausted by the end of the day!

I enjoyed my time without kids and now I’m enjoying it with.

Annie

October 29th, 2009
8:29 am

Fred – it’s so refreshing to hear from a parent who can see both sides so clearly. However, as you’ll soon see, you are in the minority…

MomtoOne

October 29th, 2009
8:33 am

WOW! I have one child and consider if offensive that Robert P. thinks those without children waste their time. I have many friends who are child free and yet they lead full lives. I am annoyed by people in society who have children and believe that being a parent gives them the authority to speak about how non-parents choose to live their lives. It usually comes across as a jealous and immature. Being a parent has made me more efficient, out of necessity yet I still waste time. Then again, I’m not one of those parents who allows her child to completely rule my schedule. I don’t over schedule our lives to the point that I’m constantly rushing from one activity to another. I manage to find time to do many of the things I did before I was a parent. It comes down to prioritizing your life.

I believe people without kids appreciate their freedom and spend time doing things they enjoy. To sum this up as wasting time reeks of an elitist attitude toward parenting which I feel is wrong and pits parents against non-parents unnecessarily.

pythia

October 29th, 2009
8:36 am

I don’t consider my time wasted; I give my days full attention and appreciation. I also understand that adding children to the mix means that they become the focus of a parent’s day and the adult’s wants and needs become secondary. You made that choice but there is no reason to be smug about it.

JATL

October 29th, 2009
8:40 am

Isn’t it theirs to waste? I find the whole idea offensive -as if everyone should be breeding (when so many fewer actually should). Child-free adults have plenty to do depending on their lifestyles. When you’re responsible for someone else’s actual life, of course you don’t have much time for other things, but as someone who was childless until I was 36, I still had PLENTY to do. Now I have even more to do, but it’s different “stuff”. I love and adore my kids, and I’m really glad I had them, but quite honestly I really (sometimes desperately) miss all of that free time to leisurely read, catch up on rest, exercise, etc. However, just because those things aren’t super productive or involved in child raising doesn’t mean they’re not worthwhile.

@Christina -YES, after you have another you will be shocked at how leisurely your life was with one! I knew adding a second would be much more intense and involved, but DANG!

Gaile

October 29th, 2009
8:41 am

Those without children have the same 24 hours in their day as those with children. I think his theory is stupid beyond belief.

Tig

October 29th, 2009
8:44 am

@JATL

If life is more leisurely with one, I’m glad I only have one, lol, I barely have any non-kiddo time as it is, and when she’s asleep at night doesn’t count!

Completely OT, does anybody have any links or tips to offer on a an almost-5-year-old who wants to be Miss Independent and is going through a phase where she’s waking up way early in the morning to steal food from the fridge & pantry (and occasionally hiding it instead of just eating it)?

MomToK

October 29th, 2009
8:49 am

I am definitely busier with “must do” things now that I have a child – up earlier, to bed later, but I would hardly say I “wasted him” before my son was born. I probably didn’t appreciate my “me” time as much as I do now, but I would not say childless people “waste” their time – they “use” it differently.
Oh, and Annie – make up your mind whether you judge or not – in your first line you say that the world should “thank you for not procreating” and the very next line you say you don’t judge others for their choice to have children. Which way is it? Can you see where these two comments are inconsistent with each other?

jg

October 29th, 2009
8:49 am

How unfair and insulting a topic this is! Did you ever consider those who want to have children but can’t? Or can’t afford adoption or fertility specialists? Yes having a family does take up your every waking breath – but it is no reason to frown upon or question why others do not have children.

Meme

October 29th, 2009
8:51 am

So I guess after 35 years of teaching and never having married or had children, I should just call Dr. Kovorkian?

YUKI

October 29th, 2009
8:54 am

I don’t think people without children are “wasting their time”. That is insane. People with kids can waste just as much time, it just depends on what you would consider wasting time. Some people think wasting time is sitting in front of the TV for hours, others do not.
This whole topic is confusing….but like that commercial says…EVERYTHING changes when you have a baby, including your time management. Of course I miss the days when we could travel more, just sit around, do whatever we want, go to dinner or a bar spur of the moment if we wanted to, etc….but I would not trade it for the world. I did all of that in my 20’s and now am ready for life’s next step, which for us is children (or child.) You make sacrifices and that includes giving up the time you had before. You just use your time in a different way. I applaud those who chose not to have children if that is the right choice for them!

New Stepmom

October 29th, 2009
8:58 am

I have a friend who married later in life and made the decision not to have kids so that she could devote that time to less fortunate children. She is an active Guardian Ad Lidem and does many other community oriented activities that helps children whose parents likely should not have had them. The guy that wrote this article is a quack.

Like Fred, I find the tedious hours spent at soccer tournaments a waste of time. I could be at home folding laundry or getting food ready for the week. Do I miss the days of very little responsibility and doing only what I want…at times yes, but I get a lot of other rewards. My thought is those that are child free are spending time doing something that would not other wise get done by those of us stuck at the soccer field…

Dumb writer that seems to regret having children and is taking it out on others….

madmommy

October 29th, 2009
8:58 am

Until I had kids I never knew how much free time I did have. I was free to go to the gym for two hours a day and then just grab a shower and head out on a date or to catch a ball game. Now with kids, I have to fit in that same two hour workout into an hour if I want to catch a game, just turn on the TV at home and have it on in the background while I tend to other things. We all have the same amount of time, just when you have kids you focus in on it more since you more than likely are on a schedule instead of just “playing it by ear” and when taking care of another person, there is more thought that goes into that.
Enjoy it now while you are without children. Don’t fret, you can still do what you want with a bit of planning and time consideration.

Tig: Has she being going through some stresses lately? I know that kids under stress try to create “control” situations and maybe this is her way. Or she is afraid that she is going to be without food for whatever reason. The one thought I have is she has an imaginary friend that she is getting food for. If she’s five, I would think it is more the last thing than anything else.

MomsRule

October 29th, 2009
8:58 am

It is judgmental to state that adults with no children “waste” their time. It is their choice how to spend their time. Just as it is my choice to spend my time raising my kids. Just because we spend our time differently doesn’t mean theirs is a waste.

I do believe that adults without children have better control of their free time. But only because they don’t necessarily have the frequency of last minute deadlines/issues popping up that can instantly change a well planned evening or weekend for an adult with kids. (homework, last minute practice scheduled by coach, kid throwing up, etc.)

Kate

October 29th, 2009
9:05 am

It’s very simple, really: People without kids still have their own time; there is no such thing once you have kids. Your time is no longer your own. And yes, parents are jealous of that “me time” whether they admit it or not. Inherent in being a parent is putting your kids well before yourself.

Tig

October 29th, 2009
9:07 am

@madmommy

She’s never had an imaginary friend, at least not one that she’s mentioned. She eats first thing when she gets to pre-k every morning, so she knows she’s always going to get breakfast.

Her father and I are going through a very amicable divorce and I’m about to be laid off from work in 2 weeks because my office is closing (staying in same house for now though though because housing market stinks), so I guess those might count as stressors for her.

jct

October 29th, 2009
9:10 am

There are 24 hours in the day for everyone. It is up to you how you use them. This argument is pointless.

Becky

October 29th, 2009
9:18 am

I’m with Fred on this one..Time to me is waht you make of it..Anyone that has children are usually busy with the kids, people without kids are busy doing what they want instead of (mostly) what the kids want..I don’t have children, yet I spend a lot of time doing for my nephews kids..

Amy, no one said they didn’t do anything worthwhile until they procreated, so why be so hateful?

Annie, I agree with you about being able to take last minute trips and do spur of the moment things..Before my nephew had twins and I started getting them every weekend, that’s what we used to do..Do I miss it? Yeah sometimes, but I also really enjoy having the kids on the weekends..

Rob Vinson

October 29th, 2009
9:23 am

It’s to each his own. My wife and i currently don’t have kids, but that’s not to say it’s not in the cards for our future. We are self employed and work together selling real estate and i assure you we don’t waste our time. We are up at 6:00 a.m. and don’t go to bed til’ 11:00 p.m. and we are working all of the time. Thus the path we have chosen. The author shouldn’t assume that all married couples who don’t have kids waste their time.

FCM

October 29th, 2009
9:25 am

“Do adults without kids waste their time?” This has to be the most HURTFUL thing I have ever seen. I am shocked, dismasyed and throughly upset you would think to have that as a headline.

Do you know why the adult doesn’t have children? Perhaps like long time reader ‘Jeff’ they are having difficulty conceiving. Perhaps they just never found someone whom they thought they could share their life with until it was ‘too late’ — this happened to my child’s teacher. Perhaps they had enough sense to choose not to bring a child they could not take care of into this world.

I would not have bothered to comment on this idoiocy at all if it weren’t for just how callous the headline reads.

Marcos

October 29th, 2009
9:32 am

Everybody is different! I know people with kids who can’t get organized to save their lives and people without kids who are the most buttoned-up people you could ever meet. I also know people with kids who operate like machines and people without who stare at the wall all day. People are people and no two are the same. This argument is useless and stupid.

Roekest

October 29th, 2009
9:36 am

I used to read a few books a month before my daughter was born. I’ve been on the same book for 2 months…….

DB

October 29th, 2009
9:37 am

Is there a Time Police out there somewhere, that’s keeping track of how we use our time? If so, I’m probably overdue on citations for Illegal Spending of Time.

My husband thinks it’s a complete waste of my time that I write synopsises for two of my favorite TV show for a website. I think my son wastes his time watching “Las Vegas” reruns. My daughter spends inordinate amounts of time texting, which seems a waste of time to me.

The point is — we ALL waste time doing things that are important to us, but not to other people. I will freely and joyously admit that, now that my kids are all in college, I DO have more free time to spend as I wish. Whether I spend it productively or efficiently or choose to waste it is MY business, and no one else’s. Frankly, people who are that are smug about how efficiently they use their time are, to me, boring in the extreme. The comment, “I’ve eliminated people that aren’t important,” simply means that their priorities have changed and that people they once had time for are no longer important in their lives. That’s fine, it happens. But to offer it up on the altar of efficiency and take a back-handed swipe at people who don’t have kids while you’re doing so is fairly narcissistic, if you ask me.

over it

October 29th, 2009
9:37 am

I do what I want, when I want, and how I want without having to explain anything to anyone for any reason. Got it?

ATLien

October 29th, 2009
9:41 am

This reminds me of when I was in college and how I managed my time.
I worked part-time during the first 2 years of college. One semester, my part-time job dwindled from 20 hours a week to 4. I quit and asked my parents if I could take a semester off of working part-time. They approved. My grades fell a bit and it was because I didn’t manage my time properly. When I worked part time, I knew I had to maximize my free time and use it to study then, socialize. When I didn’t work part-time, I felt like I had all the time in the world to study and chose to goof off before studying. The next semester, I went back to working part-time and my grades went back up.
I look back to my pre-child days and really wonder what I did with all of my free time. I wish I had travelled more, volunteered more, and spent more time working on all the projects now piled up in my craft room.

madmommy

October 29th, 2009
9:45 am

Tig, I’m sorry to hear that you are going through a tough time and I think maybe she is over hearing what is going on and thought she would help by putting food aside so she could save the day in the future. I would suggest talking to her at her age level and assuring her that everything will be ok and that regardless of what happens you love her very much. Just talking to a child instead of hiding it all seems to help, but only talk to them at their level of understanding. They don’t need to hear everything, but just enough to keep them in the loop so to speak. Kids understand a lot more than we think they do and they tend to blame themselves, so just try to stay one step ahead of her mind if you can.
Hope this helps and hang in there, there’s always a rainbow at the end of a rainstorm.

Becky

October 29th, 2009
9:46 am

Amen DB..I think you nailed it..I have two coworkers that spend about 2-3 hours per day (at work no less) on the computer looking at their facebooks..Or whatever it’s called..Then they want to tell me everything that they read..One of them goes on both of her childrens daily..To me that is a complete waste of time..I read, my husband thinks that is a waste of time..He wathces 3-4 (or more) hrs. of TV per day..

Christina

October 29th, 2009
9:47 am

I’m with MadMommy. I correct myself on saying “childless” in my first post, as it insinuates the person is missing something. What I meant to say was child-free. And I do agree with the posters who have pointed out that plenty of people who do not have children, devote time and energy to worthwhile causes. I know many adults who don’t have children, who spend time working with underpriveleged children and other charities. If everyone had kids to run the schedules for them, who would be able to help in that way? Not saying that parents can’t volunteer. But most of us can’t uproot our families and spend months in a remote village where our days are devoted to working with the families and children there — or something slightly less dramatic.

It doesn’t bother me that some people have more time than others. There are people without children who are busier than me, and there are others who have children who are less busy than me. I have to agree there is a “coast” period with children: once you past the first few months of around-the-clock feedings and settle into a pattern, the child has very few obligations (unless the parent voluntarily subjects the child to these activities) until the child enters elementary school.

What does bother me is anyone–parent or not–who COMPLAINS about the amount of leisure time in their schedule when their schedule is entirely self-inflicted. Own your choices and shut up about them. If you wish you had more time in the day, then make a serious evaluation of how you spend your time. Can you watch the news WHILE working out, instead of doing those activities separately? Can you run all your errands in one trip, instead of driving back and forth to multiple stores? Can you fold laundry, dry dishes or vacuum while watching your favorite shows (okay, vacuuming might have to wait for commercials)?

CC

October 29th, 2009
9:48 am

Even parents waste time. I can spend a hour on the computer without realizing I have been on for an hour. While adults w/out children do not have to run to pediatric appts, PTA meetings, and trips to the store for poster board for that 5th grade project I don’t think they waste their time anymore than parents do. All adults waste time….

JAMES

October 29th, 2009
9:48 am

The author of this article is mistakenly judgemental and possibly jealous of others because he feels stuck with his kids. The choice to have or not have children is an individual one (or couple)and he and no one else has the right to judge this choice. The only wasted time is time spent judging other people. Maybe if more people would mind there own business instead of sticking there nose in where it does not belong then they may realize that they have 3 fingers pointed back at themselves when they are pointing that index finger at someone else. I work at a homeless shelter for kids and there are a lot of people who should not have had children.

Don't judge lest ye be judged

October 29th, 2009
9:49 am

To use a colloquialism, “Quit Hating.” The author is clearly annoyed b/c he/she doesn’t have time to do all the things he/she wants, and sees someone else who has the time not taking advantage of it. The author made the choice to have children, so stop worrying about the choices others make.

And as info, my wife and I have a one year old so we recognize that free time is not as available as it used to be. Doesn’t make us irked b/c others make different decisions.

Happyatheart

October 29th, 2009
9:53 am

I also find this an insult. I am child free by choice. So if I am studying, working full time, volunteering at local animal shelters or any number of other things that keep me busy I am wasting my time. This definition is provided by whom? I do not attack those who choose to have children (and believe me, I could, there are some that should not), so why are those who choose not to attacked. I also find this article a huge judgment. Pigeon holing if you will. Not all parents are good, not all childfree are bad just like any other stereotype or judgment, please don’t judge me!!

Jesse's Girl

October 29th, 2009
9:53 am

I think more people need to make the choice to not have children. More folks need to make heart felt..intelligent choices for their lives…babies or no. I love to hear of my childless freinds’ lives! They are all doing exactly what they want with their time and energy. And they feel the same about me! They get a huge kick out of all my kid-ventures! I do wish I had just one day back so that I could appreciate even more my life now….wouldn’t change anytihng I have done however. I would defintely spend the whole day in one cool city doing what ever I wanted with Jesse….

nena

October 29th, 2009
9:58 am

No way..if you do not have kids…stay like that…is better..I am telling you…too much responsability and you give that to others (daycare, schools , summer camps etc..) to take care of them…so why having them?? ..it is not easy..and also in these days worse!!..they are so precious to having them and not bing able to take care of them..

FCM

October 29th, 2009
10:01 am

Tig– The divorce is likely the source of her new behavior. It takes forever for kids to trust it will be ok. She is young so try this:

Make promises to her and keep them — simple things, like tonight we get to watch a movie before bed!

Keep a routine — for me it was every Friday night was pizza and a movie in PJs in Mom’s room. We did that every week for 18 months and the kids got the point it was “tonights movie night’. More importantly the grandparents did the same thing when at their house after they realized just how much the kids depended on that one routine. Now we are about 2 years removed from that routine and they are cool with TV and whatever besides pizza for dinner on Friday.

We also made a routine of when we would do certain things.

From her world things just took a Tsunami and its time to show her how to trust on it to be stable again.

Uconn

October 29th, 2009
10:04 am

No matter kids or not, aren’t you supposed to make sure that YOU are taken care of first so that you can take care of everybody else? What good does it do anyone in your household if mom or dad is stressed and tired because they put the needs of everyone else first? I think Madmommy is the one who works out. I APPLAUD you… Taking time to work out is probably the best thing a parent can do. At least I know when I work out, my head is so much clearer and it releases A LOT of stress. Less stress = happier people.

As for the spur of the moment things, obviously one can’t do that when they have kids, everything has to be planned. Good for me since I am such a planner :).

I just have a problem when people say the needs of kids outweigh adults. Ummm Aren’t the adults (the parents)supposed to make sure their marriage is strong and they have time for each other? That way when the kids leave the parents still like each other?

Maybe I will gain a new perspective when I have kids, but when I do I still want to be me…