Time magazine has a fascinating story about the phenomenon of mama’s boys in Italy. They call them mammone and they are hypercoddled boys whose mothers do everything for them well passed their childhood.
“… A disproportionate number of Italian men enter their 30s — and in some cases their 40s — still completely reliant on their mothers to do their cleaning, cook their meals, iron their clothes and keep a roof over their heads. According to a survey published last year in Psychology Today, a full 37% of men from the ages of 30 to 34 still live with their mothers in Italy.”
This story focuses on one extreme case where the mother and grandparents are being accused of child abuse because authorities say their boy was sheltered too much.
Here’s the gist of the case according to Time:
“The case centers on the overprotective mother and grandparents of a 12-year-old boy known only as Luca in the northern city of Ferrara. Prosecutors say the three built a wall of protection so high around the boy, it stunted his development. The boy’s mother and grandfather have already been convicted of child abuse and are appealing the verdict. The grandmother appeared before a criminal tribunal earlier this month to face a similar charge. All three defendants have denied any wrongdoing, and the child has remained in the mother’s custody while the case is being adjudicated.”
“According to the evidence presented by prosecutors, Luca was not allowed to play with other children, go to church, participate in sports or leave the house before or after school. The boy’s teachers said he was sent to school with his snacks already cut into bite-size portions for him. Investigators say the teachers noticed that he was both physically and psychologically stunted from such around-the-clock doting. ‘He didn’t know how to run. He had the motor skills of a 3-year-old child,’ Andrew Marzola, the lawyer representing the boy, told the Milan newspaper Corriere della Sera.”
So what do you think? Do you have a mammone living in your home? Can you coddle too much? Why would it be that boys are coddled more than girls? How do you know when it’s too much? When should boys move out of the house? Is 30 too late? Is creating a mama’s boy a chargeable offense? Is it child abuse?
105 comments Add your comment
Wheh He At?
October 25th, 2009
6:25 pm
Wheh dat mama boi be? I ready.
Blonde Twinks » Too much of a Mama's Boy? | A Blog for Busy Moms - MOMania
October 26th, 2009
4:11 am
[...] post is from here. Visit the link to read more.Oh yes, mama’s boys…. it’s all the time in suburbia. [...]
Tamara
November 25th, 2009
11:51 pm
Dear Kimberly, You are healthy to hate the situation you are in with your husband. I wish I could give you some tips on redirecting his attention away from his mother and back to you. Sadly, there is no cure.
When I met my husband I was horrified at the stories he told me about his upbringing; he was a neglected and abused child! I wanted so badly to give him a loving, safe home. He was- and is – a really great guy. The problem is he is at his mother’s AND his aunt’s AND his sisters’ beck and call. If they want ANYTHING done, he jumps to their service. He’s plumbed, painted, gardened, cooked ad nauseum!
My problem is not just his willingness to put their needs above mine. Its not just that he is gone frequently taking care of them. ITS HIS EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT TO THEM THAT MAKES ME CRAZY! He never left home and I can’t compete! My advise to you is to develop a rich life apart from your husband. Develop skills you have always had an interest in. Find friends that love you. Things will never change until his mother dies, and waiting for death is goulish. (Besides, after her death he will grieve forever, his reason of living is gone…) Love your son and raise him to be independent so the cycle will be broken. I wish you a good life, inspite of your guy’s toxic emotional attachment.
Edward
December 15th, 2009
6:12 pm
there is nothing wrong with loving your child but one day you will have to cut the cord, If you don’t when you are gone the child will end up a burden on us all . pull out the nipple ! ! ! ! ! ! !
dale
June 9th, 2010
5:19 pm
I agree. Let’s pull out them nipples!