Comments on: Would you throw a birthday party with no presents?

By: Kym

Kym — Mon, 03 May 2010 01:50:54 +0000

Hi, after reading the tons of replies ( all very interesting ) i agree and disagree with some parts but i am not posting to argue or to say your opinion is wrong.
I live in australia and this idea of no presents is just comming in over here. We do ask no presents for the adult birthdays but in lue we ask nicely for every one to pay for their own meals at a resteraunt of our choice, we all ways try to find something within our price range ( small to medium) with great quality of food and some where for the children included to play. Some people still bring presents ( in our families case they are normally handmade presents) which is fine as that is their choice to do this. I agree with the comments about how many toys do children need, but instead of asking for no presents ( to me the party is the company and presesnts for childrens parties) we ask every one to put in like $5 or so ( more if they like) to an envelope and one friend or family member collects all the envelopes and picks out on decent good value present to the amount provided. This is a great way to get your children items for outside play you would normally overlook or not be able to afford. We also offer the option of books as i am a big believer in myself and my children reading books.

By: madre of 3

madre of 3 — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 20:11:42 +0000

Our family received a birthday party invitation for a 2 year old, stating the child has lots of toys and clothes and would rather have contributions towards their vacation. Sorry… the only people I’m “Contributing” towards to go on a vacation is my OWN family. I thought it was incredibly tacky. I’m sure the parents meant well when they put that on the invitation-but come on. If you are asking for money, something a 2 year old has zero interest in, you might as well ask for no gifts. People always include gift receipts nowadays-they could return the gifts at will and “collect” for their little vacation.

By: KJ

KJ — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 18:45:25 +0000

I should add that I assure and re-assure people NO PRESENTS when they RSVP. It can’t be whisy-washy, otherwise pepople get scared they will be the only one without. Be decisive, but also don’t be rude about it.

By: KJ

KJ — Fri, 01 Jan 2010 18:41:43 +0000

Most of our children’s birthdays have been without presents. They don’t even miss it, seriously. We ask for a food donation to the food bank in lieu of gifts, then they don’t feeel empty handed when they show up to the party. We also get to take our food (and cheque) donations to the food bank and they give you a wonderful tour and thank your child personally and with a lovely letter in the mail. obviously there is age appropriate-ness involved here. I wouldn’t drag my 2 year old around the food bank, but my 7 year old thought it was really neat. My son was so proud of himself that this is what is chooses to do. We do not tell him he has to do this. With 3 kids and aunts and uncles, and grandparents my house is already overflowing with too much stuff and too many families are struggling to make ends meet every month. Just seems logical to pass the benefit on to others. A nice present from family should be more than enough.

By: Jess

Jess — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 21:11:34 +0000

This past weekend, my son attended a b-day party. On the invite, it stated…..No Gifts, Please….Instead, donate to The Children’s Hospital. So, that’s exactly what I did.
We were the 1st one’s to arrive at the party & I watched guest after guest, bring in a gift. It seems that we were the only one’s that followed the request. I strongly believe that people do things for a reason & others should follow the request. Try explaining to a 5 year old, why he was one of the only one’s that didn’t bring a b-day gift……When all I was doing was following instructions.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:24:14 +0000

We do not allow gifts. We type the directions in bold and discuss it again when people RSVP. The kids understand and have been focused each time on just enjoying their friends’ company.

We do do presents as a family.

I encourage parents to make the leap. I would say take it farther– drawings– cards– all of it needs to go by the wayside. Parties should be all about being together and celebrating.

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 17:52:19 +0000

My family was very poor. Our birthdays never had presents—but we did have a homemade cake.

I think my four siblings and I turned out OK. No trauma or scars.

By: Becky

Becky — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 20:49:08 +0000

@Been There..My family is big on alcohol at everything..I don’t drink anymore, so I usually leave early..Like you, I don’t think a childs party is the place to be drunk and that is what my family drinks for..At least most of them..

By: Been There

Been There — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 17:12:11 +0000

A lot of people enjoy getting in a huff over eitquette issues. Although a thank- you note is never wrong (how could appreciation, courtesy and thoughtfulness be wrong?!), it is truly not necessary for a birthday party gift. I’m not making this up; see Emily Post:
http://www.emilypost.com/everyday/thank_u_note_qna.htm

The key here is to open in front of the giver and offer thanks right then. I think that opening in front of the giver is part of showing appreciation. Many (hopefully most) children enjoy choosing an ideal gift for their own friend, even if the adults involved don’t appreciate it, and they want to see it opened and oohed over. It’s also a good time to reinforce the “now it’s his turn, your turn will come later” principle of child-rearing.

We’ve always hosted birthday parties at home, so there’s no compulsion to get all the bang we can for the bucks we’re forking over for the venue. We have games, general playing (never under-estimate the appeal of playing with someone else’s stuff!), crafts & coloring available, plenty of food, including for the parents — although we don’t offer alcoholic. I don’t want to provide the opportunity to drink and drive with kids in tow, but that’s just me.

I was stunned by the all the gifts they received for their first birthday. We have twins, and I really thought of the party as a chance to celebrate making it through that harrowning first year with all the people who helped us out and loved our babies. For the second birthday, I added “Your love is a precious gift to us – no other is necessary.” I see now that was a little wishy-washy.

I really like the suggestion above of a book-swap. We may try that this year.

By: Becky

Becky — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:18:23 +0000

I’ve never thought of thank you cards as a hassle..I keep about 4-5 boxes in my desk at all times and all I have to do is sign it and send it out..The kids have their own cards that they send out and they send them out for ALL gifts..