Why I don’t bring my wife to Georgia football games
Editor’s Note: I’ve complained a lot on this blog about my husband abandoning me on the weekends to go to the University of Georgia football games. Finally, here’s HIS view on the subject.
Michael and Lilina.
By Michael A. Giarrusso
Ever since our first child was born, my wife has had a hate-hate relationship with college football, a game that she once loved. She’s written about it here many times, but to summarize:
We used to go to games together all the time, and she was generally an attentive and enthusiastic fan. She simply couldn’t go as much after the kids were born. Babysitters were tough to find, especially since my in-laws go to games themselves most Saturdays. And bringing small children to loud, hot Sanford Stadium is not a great idea.
I kept the tickets, and Theresa was replaced by my best friend. For the last eight years, she has become more and more resentful of this situation, angry at me for going, for leaving early or staying late and for drinking while I’m there. So when my friend couldn’t go this weekend, Theresa set up a babysitter and planned to join me for our first game date in years.
As soon as she agreed to go, I started remember some reasons I didn’t always enjoy bringing her.
1) Not long after saying she wanted to go, Theresa started channeling Al Roker, terrified about how the weather would affect her comfort. Theresa complains about the heat when it’s over 76 degrees and complains about the cold when it’s under 72. If it’s going to be sunny and hot, she brings a duffel bag full of sunscreen, water, ice packs, sunglasses and fans. If it’s going to be the least bit chilly, she brings gloves, hats, sweaters, parkas and a Thermos of hot chocolate. In the rain … more on that later.
2) She immediately tries to complicate the plan. My friend and I have a simple setup. He picks me up. I bring bourbon. We buy large fountain Cokes at a gas station, and replace the soda that we drink with bourbon. We bring no food or games, and we don’t go anywhere except to our parking spot and the stadium. We stay until the game is out of reach. But Theresa wants to see if we can meet her friend on the other side of town. She suggests driving downtown _ ignoring the fact that it’s impossible to park downtown on game day _ to visit one of her favorite restaurants. After the game, we should stop and visit her friend. She doesn’t seem all satisfied with my bourbon and Coke menu, and will probably want me to buy one of those overpriced hot dogs at the stadium.
3) Theresa likes to talk, regardless if anyone wants to hear it. I’m not your typical “Go Dawgs!” football fan. I’m a former sportswriter, and I take a more serious and analytical approach to the game. If you’re going to sit with me, don’t ask stupid questions or make ignorant statements about the game. Theresa used to pay attention to sports, but she has not for at least a decade, and that hurts her ability to analyze. When Arizona State took the field, she asked if Dennis Erickson was the same guy who once coached Miami. I was impressed, but then I remembered that he coached about Miami 20 years ago, when Theresa actually watched sports. If I won’t talk to her, she’ll start making non-football conversation with our neighbors. I’ve sat next to some of these people for more than 10 years and barely know most of them. But Theresa gets their whole life story during one TV timeout.
4) By far the biggest problem taking Theresa to the stadium is that she cares much more about her personal comfort level than the game or my feelings about the game. Even if weather isn’t an issue, she’ll complain about being hungry, or scrunched in too closely, or being too close to the band. By Friday, she was checking the weather radar every hour, and telling me the exact percentage chance of rain. By Saturday morning, she was pricing waterproof pants. She warned me that she needed an even bigger bag than usual, this one stocked with dry clothes. She kept asking if I would promise to leave if the rain was too much, and she claimed that it would be just as much fun to watch at a bar or at our friends’ house in Athens. By the time she went on a rant about the unfairness of the rule banning umbrellas in the stadium, I knew it wasn’t worth it to bring her.
Last November, I took my father to the Georgia Tech-Georgia game and it rained on us for four straight hours. He never complained or whined or asked to leave. His rain supplies consisted of a baseball hat, a windbreaker and some paper towels in his pocket that he occasionally used to dry off our soaked bench. If he were available Saturday, I would have taken him. But my only choice was Theresa, which meant I was better off watching on TV.
By the time I gave up on Theresa, it was too late to get another partner, so I stayed home too. Even though we weren’t in the stadium, I got to experience some of her game behavior on the couch. It’s definitely different than going with my friends, who rarely make comments about Joe Cox’s haircut, Uga’s feelings about the rain or whether Mark Richt ever cusses underneath his breath.
During the game, she quickly ran out of things to say about football, and tried to engage me in conversations about the science of baking, our Christmas budget and replacing the carpet in our flooded basement.
Who knows, maybe there will be another chance for us to go together later this year. Let’s hope for a partly cloudy, 72-degree day with room to spread out and short lines at the concession stands. If not, I’ll just pray for patience.
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102 comments Add your comment
Bladez
September 28th, 2009
11:11 am
Actually I have two children under the age of 6. My spouse and I manage quite well and I am an avid hockey fan and player.
Jesse's Girl
September 28th, 2009
11:35 am
Michael….I still think you need to take just a TINY break from being the college football Nazi….
Worn out in the Fall
September 28th, 2009
11:39 am
I married a rabid SEC football fan, and in past 7 years I have only missed a handful of games with him due to family commitments, work functions or illness. He has season tickets to his team and we consistently travel to all home games (4 hrs each way) and to a couple of away games each year. However, this year we are expecting our first child and the first trimester has not worked out well with football season. Believe me, tailgaiting for 5 hours is NOT the same when you are hot and nauseated! But I do it because it is only 6 weekends out of the year, we get to see family and he knows that next year it is going to be different (yes I have already put my foot down). What will change most likely will be me staying at home with the baby & that he can only go to the “big” home games. I know he doesn’t love the idea, but it’s a compromise.
penguinmom
September 28th, 2009
12:04 pm
I have to admit that I do think Theresa over-complicates outings. There is a point of being prepared and a point where you’ve just become obsessive. However, this should not have come as a big surprise to Michael and he should have a little more flexibility. She really can’t have changed that drastically since you last went together before kids. You used to be able to handle it then, why is it such a big deal now?
However, I do completely understand how Theresa would be ‘more and more resentful’ about the situation. Michael’s fixation on UGA football could be perceived as saying ‘I love Football MORE than I love you.’ and ‘Football is MORE important to me than you or the kids.’
It’s not a matter of how many weeks, or even the truth of the feeling. If you are told over and over again, that something is going to take precedence over everything else then you will come to believe the other person loves that thing more than you.
Michael needs to make an effort to be a little more understanding and to perhaps, one year, give up a game in order to sacrificially show his love to Theresa and the kids. Wives want to know they are loved more than anything else.
Theresa needs to be more understanding when she is entering ‘his turf’. He’s not going to want to visit your friend on game day, why even bring it up? Suppress your natural ‘over-planning’ and just go with the flow a little. Obviously, game time is focused time for him and nothing that is not football related will interest him until at least an hour after the game. (Maybe not even then because he doesn’t seem to be the type of person that can actually enjoy another person’s interests.)
Photius
September 28th, 2009
12:10 pm
“Michael needs to make an effort to be a little more understanding and maybe give up one game…”
THE MAN GOES TO ONLY 6 GAMES A YEAR – - – GIMME A BREAK!
JJ
September 28th, 2009
12:17 pm
Theresa, go to Athens with Michael. YOU go meet your friend downtown and do lunch and shopping, and let him go and meet his friends at the game. As Skipper in Madagascar says “Problemo Solved”.
My family will tell you, I am NOT readily available on Sundays during professional football season. I LOVE MY FALCONS. Yes it does complicate things sometimes with family functions, because my brother loves his college football Saturdays. So we compromise and one week we get together on Saturday and another week we gather on Sunday.
Next week, I will be giving up my 1:00 games for my niece’s birthday party with the family. No big deal. He will miss a Saturday of college football to drive us all up to the mountains so we can pick apples, and get our pumpkins.
Kat
September 28th, 2009
12:35 pm
Good grief! How do the two of you stay married? My guess is that your husband lives for football season so he can get away from you! I’d leave her at home too. No offense, but I think she “liked” the games during the courting phase of things only. Take her and leave her in the car with the radio on the game channel and she can put the A/C – Heat on whatever setting she wants.
LadyBullDawg
September 28th, 2009
1:12 pm
I don’t know why all of ye are clamouring that Michael give Theresa her own day out without kids, to make up for her “allowing” him to attend the games when Theresa herself has said she doesn’t completely trust Michael to watch the kids alone, and spends the entire time fretting or constantly on the phone to Michael making sure there are no fatalities.
I say let the man have his football. Plenty of time for other activities some other time.
And Theresa, if we got sick from a soaking in the rain we’d all constantly be miserable; unless you’re the wicked witch of the west, a good soaking won’t do anything but tighten your jeans!
SS
September 28th, 2009
1:38 pm
So many mean spirited comments today! Marriage is to be negotiated between the two parties. It was a big mistake to bring this to the forum for everyone’s two cents–it will only add fuel to the fire.
With that being said, here’s my opinion ;) Theresa and Michael should sit down together and negotiate with each other what they think is fair. I think like with most things the truth is in between somewhere. Six games isn’t a lot, but at the same time being gone six whole days through one season can be a strain. I consider myself lucky if I can find an hour or two of ME time each week, let alone a whole day. My husband works, so he’s not around to relieve me a lot, and when he’s here I am reluctant to leave him. We couldn’t possibly divide things 50/50, but we work together to achieve compromise. I would not be a fan of him picking football over a family function, but there are things that can be scheduled on alternate days without affecting them. There is no one more rabid over sports than my husband, but we work it out. We have multiple tv’s when I don’t feel like joining in. I take interest to share in my husband’s passion and have learned to love a great deal of it myself. I keep quiet for him for the most part during games, just like I would like him to do if he watched my shows with me. He goes golfing or out to some sporting events alone or with friends, but he also watches a lot at home so I know that we (family) are a priority too. I agree that kids and jobs make personal hobbies and passions go to the back burner, although both parties should work to keep them around in some capacity for sanity’s sake. I think Theresa probably has a few annoying habits that could be curbed a little for hubby’s sake, but his column read (to me) as very sour and dismissive. She is a person too and deserves a little consideration. Bottom line: it is in both of your best interest to make the other happy. Michael, sacrifice a little to make her happy and she will be nicer when you go alone which is the majority of the time. Theresa, be considerate of his wishes too so you are an enjoyable person to have around and get more invites. Good Luck!
jack5656
September 28th, 2009
1:41 pm
Mike and Theresa…you guys are cute…in a very Archie and Edith Bunker kind of way. On the surface (and I hope to GOD that there’s more to this relationship than what we see on this blog), you’re the couples my mid to late 30 year old single poker buddies say they have no interest in marriage.
Denise
September 28th, 2009
1:41 pm
I feel that everyone has their “thing”. For Michael, it is UGA football. I’m sure Theresa has her “thing” too. I think that each person needs to be given the time to do their thing in peace. It seems like Theresa doesn’t like to do football like Michael does it – regardless of how much she wants to spend time with him – so I think she needs to stay homeor have him drop her off at her friend’s house.I do think, though, that if he is watching the game at home, he be more flexible to allow her to enjoy her time with him. He needs to be patient with her diversions IF they are during commercial or half time. Compromise is the key. I’m sure Theresa has to sacrifice a lot of “her” time while she takes care of the kids and Michael will be forced to do the same, especially when their kids play sports during the time once reserved for UGA football.
Jeff
September 28th, 2009
2:16 pm
OMG!!!! A male opinion that differs from the wife’s version. Shout him down now and call him insensitive! All happiness must stop immediately!
jack5656
September 28th, 2009
2:45 pm
reminds me of that joke:
Q: Why do women close their eyes during sex?
A: They can’t stand seeing their partners enjoying themselves.
lakerat
September 28th, 2009
3:08 pm
BALLS!!!!
Photius
September 28th, 2009
3:13 pm
Michael is the breadwinner…. sorry folks, if he’s bringing home enough bacon in order to have her raising the kids, going to 6 games a year is a no-brainer.
Codex
September 28th, 2009
3:21 pm
Thats right Michael is the bread winner and what he says goes. I think Theresa’s constant whining should be grounds for divorce.
JJ
September 28th, 2009
3:26 pm
Theresa is a breadwinner also…..she does have a job…..
JJ
September 28th, 2009
3:28 pm
The JJ that posted at 3:26 is an imposter.
Renny
September 28th, 2009
3:42 pm
uh raising kids is a job too…so actually she has two jobs! :)
JJ
September 28th, 2009
3:48 pm
Renny are you male or female?
Vork
September 28th, 2009
3:49 pm
Do you get paid to raise kids? NO!!!
Tinkerballa
September 28th, 2009
3:53 pm
If Theresa doesn’t want you Michael, I’ll take you.
Renny
September 28th, 2009
3:54 pm
male, why? am I gonna hear it for saying raising kids is a “job”?? didn’t mean to offend, just meant she works just as hard as he does.
pd
September 28th, 2009
3:58 pm
Theresa has a job outside of home maker?
I didn’t realize. What does she do?
Not that making the money matters, but I didn’t realize she worked.
I will say this, Michael should be there for his kids on Halloween. I wouldn’t miss my son trick or treating for anything at all. There is nothing better than that.
Zaboo
September 28th, 2009
3:59 pm
I think Renny is gay.
Clara
September 28th, 2009
4:00 pm
That’s not nice Zaboo.
motherjanegoose
September 28th, 2009
4:14 pm
@pd….I am THINKING she MIGHT get paid to to do MOMANIA because if she is doing it for free, she is nuts to put up with the comments today ( especially) or any day.
Let's face it.........
September 28th, 2009
4:18 pm
Keeping a blog isn’t exactly hard work; I know plenty of women who work full time (outside the home), care for their families, and still keep up 2 – 3 postings daily. On topics that are far more riveting than some that have been posted here.
And MJG, regardless of whether Theresa’s doing this for free or not, she opted to open this forum to comments and so must take the good with the bad.
Stookie
September 28th, 2009
4:21 pm
I can’t believe some people on here make some outlandish assumptions b/c you read this blog everyday. No one except Michael and Theresa know how their relationship is.
Not sure if it is women making things more complicated as it is men just need very little to be happy and anything outside that normal routine sucks. Theresa, you should just let him have his thing, especially since it is only 6 saturdays a year. My girlfriend lets me have my time on Sundays to watch the NFL and I never crash any of her 12 hour scrap book sessions all while taking care of our boys.
nurse&mother
September 28th, 2009
4:44 pm
LMAO!! Theresa, you remind me of myself many years ago (maybe there are still a few similarities).
I am not too keen on inclement weather like rain. We didn’t just have rain this weekend….. we had a FLOOD. I thought I was going to get swept out to sea crossing Broad near the Holiday Inn express. That was one game I where I should have stayed home or at least gone shopping.
Theresa, I too did not go to many games when the children were young. We have a three years old AND potty trained rule for going to the stadium and most theme parks. I am just now getting back into the loop after about a 3-4 year hiatus. I DID still tailgate. When everyone went to the game, the little one and I would go shopping. I am having a hard time catching up to who is who at Georgia.
I really love Georgia football for several reasons:
1. It is fun to get the family together and spend quality time.
2. It reminds me of my college days at UGA
3. It is a great way to socialize with all my tailgate buddies
Ok, Michael from one talker to another (your wife), there is nothing wrong with talking to the neighbors. When you have season tickets like we do, you get to know those around you. It’s like meeting up with family you haven’t seen all year. We typically have some nice folks sitting near us (in the nose bleed section).
Theresa, you are welcome to hang out with me in Athens anytime!
P.S., call me if you want to go shopping in Athens.
nurse&mother
September 28th, 2009
4:47 pm
One more thing…Theresa, if Michael wants a little Bourbon and coke, then so be it. My hubby likes Crown with his coke. As long as he paces himself, I don’t care. I will say food does help him to pace himself better after a long day of tailgating.
April
September 28th, 2009
4:58 pm
T & M: It sounds as if some compromise is needed here. Theresa, I agree with others who say it does not sound as if you are truly a fan of going to the games. That is OK. Maybe you could trade-off some days with Michael. For every Sat. that he gets to spend “tween the hedges”, you get a day to do something that you want to do – alone, without kids in tow. That way maybe you would not be so resentful of M’s days at the game.
Michael, could you compromise a little on the plan for the day – I know I would have to have some food – other than the liquid nourishment that you rely on (although that sounds good, too). However, I agree with you on the rain thing – if you go to the game, you take whatever the skies send you.
I am also interested in how the conflict with Walsh’s games has been solved.
Not Today
September 28th, 2009
5:15 pm
MJG One thing your bring up a lot is how this is this is Theresa’s blog (and it is) and how she gets paid (and she does) etc.
What you fail to accept is that this is a PUBLIC forum. All of her comments are sent into cyber space and are free to be responded too. Same as to the topic, one aspect or another may grab people.
This is NOT a classroom where Theresa is the teacher up front and all of us ’students’ have to do what she says. You however often seem to think that it should be that way.
Theresa did an awesome blog a year or more ago. It was all about how she had thought this blog would be a place where people would tell her she was right (happens less often than she likes according to her), where SAHM would converse (you are proof that isn’t it), and that we would all have discussions on the key points she thought up.
Theresa learned early on that these forums have a life of their own. Every regular on here at some point has begged you to stop trying to make it so dang rigid about who can say what. So please, consider that this is one of those things that you don’t get to control.
Kat
September 28th, 2009
6:04 pm
Getting paid to PUT UP with today’s comments? WTH? You can tell how bossy and annoying she must be at a game, if she is posting like a regular blogger to this site instead of letting him get his say. I let my husband read this column so he realizes how GREAT his life actually is.
motherjanegoose
September 28th, 2009
6:39 pm
@ not today…
WOW…I totally missed the blog about this being for SAHM and I apologize if I am the only one here who posts and has a job outside of the house….am I the only one?
My point was that Theresa has THIS job and even though some of you think she should bow to her husband’s every whim because he is pulling in the lion’s share….one would assume that she does get paid to put the entire thing together…am I also the only one who assumes she might make enough to buy a few groceries from dealing with this every day?
I DO NOT feel that Theresa is the one and only here….she puts out the topic and we all jump on board…we do not have to agree with her BUT this is her blog as it looks like her name is on the very top of the page every day. While I do not always agree100% with her point of view I respect the fact that she comes up with one each day. Some posters hide behind their screen names and spew hate….that is just plain rude. I also think that Theresa does have ways to eliminate posters if they get too out of hand, kind of like a teacher sending a child out of the class….. we had some trolls who were eliminated last year.
As I said early today…I am not into football …oh well. I am in with those who think Theresa should have at least 6 days to herself and let Michael have his 6 days too!. If there is a written marriage rule that says both spouses must enjoy all the same things? We never got it in our house. My husband does not like theatre, plays, musicals or even reading a book. His palate is much more limited than mine. I just plan things I enjoy with others who might want to join me. NO BIG DEAL!!! We do the things we like together and excuse each other from the things they do not like.
Today, I am thankful for my job….no one is mean and hateful and most of the kids love me.
Not Today
September 28th, 2009
6:56 pm
Yes MJG you missed the point entirely. It was certainly about the how the blog is for SAHM. ….Hello, this is earth….it clearly states she once said she figured that was all she would get. Heck its MOMania and they (T and the paper) probably only thought they would get Mom’s.
The coolest thing about this board is that it governs itself. It may have Theresa’s name on it, but it ceased being truly her’s alone a long time ago. It has become the blog of the regular’s with Theresa being more like Linda Richman ” Talk amongst yourselves.” (Mike Myers on SNL). It is the whole “Give a [blog] we’ll talk, no big whoop” attitude that makes this whole thing work.
motherjanegoose
September 28th, 2009
9:16 pm
The motherjanegoose that posted at 6:39 pm is an imposter.
deidre_NC
September 28th, 2009
9:27 pm
i think its a sin to mix bourbon or crown with coke…at least not very southern…youre supposed to mix it with branch (water) :)
Cutty
September 28th, 2009
9:55 pm
Sounds about right to me.
Cuz
September 28th, 2009
10:55 pm
Just be glad he isn’t a hunter also. On the weekends he was not at games he would be out murdering Bambi.
mom2boys
September 28th, 2009
11:17 pm
Both of you sound like whiners. I don’t know any man who would go to the game and go all day without eating, whether it’s a $5 hotdog or whatever. I don’t see why Theresa packing stuff that makes her more comfortable should be a problem, although I can see that listening to her whine about it for two or three days would get old. And I don’t see the problem with Michael going to every UGA home game, nor do I see the problem in him having bourbon and coke. Can’t Theresa drive home if he drinks too much? I doubt he will get falling down drunk anyway. Why can’t you find a compromise? Theresa, you need to have a couple of girls weekends and do something fun. Every couple needs time apart and every couple needs time together. And Michael, when your kids are old enough to be involved in various activities, I hope you realize how much fun you can have for a few short years sharing in those activities and cheering them on. If you choose to spend THOSE Saturdays in Athens, that is definitely something you will regret later.
Annie
September 28th, 2009
11:35 pm
Growing up my Dad was an avid supporter of his team; I remember waving bye as he’d head off to one of the few games he would attend. As us kids got older, we had the option of going with him. My fondest memories from my childhood, apart from our family vacations, are of my Dad and me heading off to a game together. And it’s something we still do, if I happen to be visiting during the season. So Michael heading off to watch his 6 or 8 games or however many there are really isn’t a big deal. Everyone needs a little down time, a time to switch off from the real world for a little while and just kick back – he choses to do so at a UGA game………how do ye let off some steam????
Mike D
September 29th, 2009
12:10 am
Wives complicate everything. My wife eats nothing, on the day I bought my new stainless steel grill at Lowes, I took her out to lunch. Arby’s (which we both agreed on) had a 5 item for $5 plan. 2 sandwiches, 2 Cokes, and split a fry – I’m not cheap but that was the plan. She added a desert which made the items deveate from the special to a $8 dollar lunch. Then she didn’t eat the desert.
Wreck
September 29th, 2009
12:32 am
College football season lasts 3 months. My wife gave me hell the first three years because for three months out of the year, I have Tech football at the top of my priority list. Hell, she makes the rules the other nine months. I’ll be in Starkville this weekend and Tallahassee the next week. It’s what I do this time of year. As the years go by….she’s much more understanding.
Jodi
September 29th, 2009
2:08 am
I’m the season ticket holder in our family. When my husband married me, he got access to UGA and Braves season tickets plus I got tickets to Bears and Cubs games for him (he’s from Chicago).
I used to come early and stay until after the band played after the game. For one thing, getting off-campus until long after the game was over was nigh impossible. I cooked elaborate dishes for tailgaiting, packed linens and china to use and had the decorations on the car.
I’ve since become ill and can’t go to the games anymore. We live on the TN/KY border now and since my illness, can’t travel down for the games. I certainly can’t take the heat.
Some people just don’t enjoy the experience of the game. My mother didn’t, but she was a die-hard Dawg fan too. The crowds, the heat and the noise aren’t for everybody.
But I’d give anything to be able to go back and sit on the hard seats, listen to the band, watch the Dawgs, pet Uga and slather myself in sunscreen.
clyde
September 29th, 2009
5:03 am
If I couldn’t find something better to do on a weekend than watch a football game,I wouldn’t bother to get out of bed.
2_dawgs
September 29th, 2009
6:00 am
too bad for you. my wife of 26 years is low maintenance. we both graduated from UGA and return for home games. before kickoff all she wants is a few drinks at the Roadhouse and a chance to watch the sea of humanity pass by. at the game she watches intently and asks a few questions about penalties, plays and personnel. nice to be at the game with my best friend. now if the team could just beat LSU.
deidre_NC
September 29th, 2009
7:18 am
cz..if he was killing bambi he would be contributing to the family freezer :)
mom3
September 29th, 2009
9:04 am
Didn’t Theresa know anything about this man before she married him? My husband is a RABID dawgs fan – he goes to every home game. I knew this before we married. I married him anyway. I used to go to the games, and now I stay home with the kids. I get to go to about one game a year. Since I knew this before we started, I figured it wouldn’t be fair to complain now. It’s not like any of us expect our husband to MATURE.
nurse&mother
September 29th, 2009
10:47 am
Aww, Jodi I feel so bad that you can’t do something that you so love. I will think of you every time I go see the Dawgs play. Lots of prayers and love to you! Hopefully you will get better soon and come back!