Why I don’t bring my wife to Georgia football games

Editor’s Note: I’ve complained a lot on this blog about my husband abandoning me on the weekends to go to the University of  Georgia football games. Finally, here’s HIS view on the subject.

Michael and Lilina.

Michael and Lilina.

By Michael A. Giarrusso

Ever since our first child was born, my wife has had a hate-hate relationship with college football, a game that she once loved. She’s written about it here many times, but to summarize:

We used to go to games together all the time, and she was generally an attentive and enthusiastic fan. She simply couldn’t go as much after the kids were born. Babysitters were tough to find, especially since my in-laws go to games themselves most Saturdays. And bringing small children to loud, hot Sanford Stadium is not a great idea.

I kept the tickets, and Theresa was replaced by my best friend. For the last eight years, she has become more and more resentful of this situation, angry at me for going, for leaving early or staying late and for drinking while I’m there. So when my friend couldn’t go this weekend, Theresa set up a babysitter and planned to join me for our first game date in years.

As soon as she agreed to go, I started remember some reasons I didn’t always enjoy bringing her.

1)      Not long after saying she wanted to go, Theresa started channeling Al Roker, terrified about how the weather would affect her comfort. Theresa complains about the heat when it’s over 76 degrees and complains about the cold when it’s under 72. If it’s going to be sunny and hot, she brings a duffel bag full of sunscreen, water, ice packs, sunglasses and fans. If it’s going to be the least bit chilly, she brings gloves, hats, sweaters, parkas and a Thermos of hot chocolate. In the rain … more on that later.

2)      She immediately tries to complicate the plan. My friend and I have a simple setup. He picks me up. I bring bourbon. We buy large fountain Cokes at a gas station, and replace the soda that we drink with bourbon. We bring no food or games, and we don’t go anywhere except to our parking spot and the stadium. We stay until the game is out of reach.  But Theresa wants to see if we can meet her friend on the other side of town. She suggests driving downtown _ ignoring the fact that it’s impossible to park downtown on game day _ to visit one of her favorite restaurants. After the game, we should stop and visit her friend. She doesn’t seem all satisfied with my bourbon and Coke menu, and will probably want me to buy one of those overpriced hot dogs at the stadium.

3)      Theresa likes to talk, regardless if anyone wants to hear it. I’m not your typical “Go Dawgs!” football fan. I’m a former sportswriter, and I take a more serious and analytical approach to the game. If you’re going to sit with me, don’t ask stupid questions or make ignorant statements about the game. Theresa used to pay attention to sports, but she has not for at least a decade, and that hurts her ability to analyze. When Arizona State took the field, she asked if Dennis Erickson was the same guy who once coached Miami. I was impressed, but then I remembered that he coached about Miami 20 years ago, when Theresa actually watched sports. If I won’t talk to her, she’ll start making non-football conversation with our neighbors. I’ve sat next to some of these people for more than 10 years and barely know most of them. But Theresa gets their whole life story during one TV timeout.

4)      By far the biggest problem taking Theresa to the stadium is that she cares much more about her personal comfort level than the game or my feelings about the game. Even if weather isn’t an issue, she’ll complain about being hungry, or scrunched in too closely, or being too close to the band. By Friday, she was checking the weather radar every hour, and telling me the exact percentage chance of rain. By Saturday morning, she was pricing waterproof pants. She warned me that she needed an even bigger bag than usual, this one stocked with dry clothes. She kept asking if I would promise to leave if the rain was too much, and she claimed that it would be just as much fun to watch at a bar or at our friends’ house in Athens. By the time she went on a rant about the unfairness of the rule banning umbrellas in the stadium, I knew it wasn’t worth it to bring her.

Last November, I took my father to the Georgia Tech-Georgia game and it rained on us for four straight hours. He never complained or whined or asked to leave. His rain supplies consisted of a baseball hat, a windbreaker and some paper towels in his pocket that he occasionally used to dry off our soaked bench. If he were available Saturday, I would have taken him. But my only choice was Theresa, which meant I was better off watching on TV.

By the time I gave up on Theresa, it was too late to get another partner, so I stayed home too. Even though we weren’t in the stadium, I got to experience some of her game behavior on the couch. It’s definitely different than going with my friends, who rarely make comments about Joe Cox’s haircut, Uga’s feelings about the rain or whether Mark Richt ever cusses underneath his breath.

During the game, she quickly ran out of things to say about football, and tried to engage me in conversations about the science of baking, our Christmas budget and replacing the carpet in our flooded basement.

Who knows, maybe there will be another chance for us to go together later this year. Let’s hope for a partly cloudy, 72-degree day with room to spread out and short lines at the concession stands. If not, I’ll just pray for patience.

102 comments Add your comment

Jesse's Girl

September 27th, 2009
9:45 pm

Theresa….I LOVE YOU…dearly. But I fancy myself as the perfect football wife. I get pissier than most men when my Dawgs play poorly…or if we get a flag…or if we get called for a face mask that our opponents somehow got away with the play before. I gladly sit through down pours…I wear water-proof mascara during rainy games. I don’t complain (much) if they forget to put the seat cushion-thingie in my seat and I don’t get violent with the guy that drops the Fbomb after every breath. (though I did threaten to kill him last year:) I don’t eat a huge amount before hand because I know the women’s BR sucks….its always a mad house no matter when you go. And you will never catch me eating those stupid hotdogs. $4.50 for a regular weiner…..$6 for the super big one (its slightly fatter…no way its worth that much) In short…..I love our Dawg-Dates!!! They are so much fun for both of us.

Now Michael….if you could find a way to show Theresa that during football season, she is still the most important thing in your life…maybe she’d be more inclined to cross over into your endzone. Justa sayin.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

September 27th, 2009
9:52 pm

Honest to goodness — I really do follow the game well. I understand when flags are thrown and I definitely have opinions on calls and players. I just don’t want to sit in the rain. I have three kids to take care of and I don’t get “sick days”.

As far as staying on topic during the games — It feels much too indulgent to sit and watch a day of football, like we did, and do nothing else. I can recap probably 7 games with some decent detail. So I worked on other things while I watched. I literally planned our Christmas shopping budget and I just asked him to look at it — I think after the game was over but definitely in a commercial break. Now in a commercial break I did try to tell him about how different varieties of flour affect pie crusts because I had been reading the Shirley Corriher cookbook. That was a mistake. But I don’t think he would have listened to that discussion at any point.

I will totally agree with him that comfort is very important to me and rain is just not OK. Heat and cold I can work with. Rain just stinks.

Jesse's Girl

September 27th, 2009
10:10 pm

As much as I LOVE UGA football….I too cannot just sit and watch it. When we are watchig at home, I still have children to take care of…food to prepare…life does not just stop. And I think thats what irks you more than anything…because it can irk me as well. His world revolves around UGA in the fall months….and your’s still has to encompass the entire family. You don’t get the luxury of leaving the children and all your home/work responsibilites for a Sat of football and clandestine bourbon consumption:) I get it….thats why I think it would go along way if he gave up one of those Saturdays and dedicated it to you. The thoughtful notion might just be enough for you to appreciate his love of it a little more…..and perhaps he would see that you aren’t so keen on being a UGA widow EVERY Sat:)

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

September 27th, 2009
10:25 pm

I agree — I hope I am “invited” back again this season.

I was happy to drive to Athens and watch in a bar until the rain let up and then go to the game — the parking was an issue _ i wasn’t going to walk from our spot to downtown — way too far in the rain. but he didn’t want to do that — I was excited about a date night with him and to get to go to the game — all would have been great if not for the torrential down pour — that wasn’t a little bit of rain — it was a lot!!

fk

September 27th, 2009
11:21 pm

My husband and I went thru a similar routine before the GA Tech football game Sat. a.m. I was thinking to my self that I should skip the game due to the rain. Yes, I am a fair-weather fan. My husband told me that he’d understand if I preferred to watch the game from home because if the rain came, it would take away from my enjoyment. I agreed. But he had not finsihed his sententce…if the rain came, it would take away from my enjoyment, which, in turn, would take away from his. Not ten seconds later, he had a replacement for my ticket. I think he had the back up plan all along. He came home soaking wet and it had only rained for the last few minutes of the game. That is simply not my idea of fun. I would have freaked out when the big screen showed the t’storm warning but 10 minutes away. I enjoyed the game from home on the big TV, all the while chatting on the phone and taking care of the laundry, overall, a very productive afternoon…and I did not get wet. Have a good week.

HB

September 27th, 2009
11:34 pm

Wow. When Theresa wrote about Michael having to go to EVERY home game, EVERY year, plus FL and maybe TN, regardless of what she needed at home, I thought he sounded like a self-involved jerk, but thought it probably just came across that way since we were only reading her side. Now reading this, I see how truly kind she was in her description of the situation. She’s grown more and more resentful about being left with all the work every home game Saturday for 8 years? Gee, no mention of any appreciation of her doing it anyway so that you can go drink and hang out with your buddy at the game? On away game weeks, do you take over all home responsibilities so she can go have a fun day? You had your first “game date” in years, but she’s supposed to act just like your male buddy? You don’t want to put any effort into making it a special day for her? I can understand where the weather worries and overplanning would get old, but for the honor of sitting with you, she needs to either be up on the game or shut up? Not just not bother you with “stupid” commentary, but you don’t want her to talk to others either? Seriously, Theresa, when that nice 72-degree day comes along, find a girlfriend, head to Athens, and leave Michael home with the kids.

Jesse's Girl

September 28th, 2009
6:05 am

Its supposed to be nice this Sat for the LSU game darlin…..you can roll with me if all the kiddos feel better:)

DB

September 28th, 2009
6:51 am

Theresa, I can’t decide if you actually like football, or just want to spend some one-on-one time with Michael and see a UGA game as an opportunity to do that. Frankly, it doesn’t sound like you’re a huge football fan — so why subject yourself to it and try to turn it into something that it isn’t?

It’s 11 or 12 weeks out of 52. Let the guy enjoy his football games in peace, with the clear understanding that he makes the same effort to spend equal time with you on Sunday or other times of the year.

And Michael — if Theresa wants to talk to your seat neighbors, what’s the BFD? It means she’s not bothering you. You don’t want to talk to her, so what is she supposed to do, sit there and shut up?

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
7:40 am

Michael A. Giarrusso is my hero…well said…..guys like to keep things simple, women like to complicate EVERYTHING!!!

motherjanegoose

September 28th, 2009
7:41 am

@ DB…WHAT are you doing up this early?

TODAY, ya’ll will be thrilled that I have never sat through a football game since HS and have NO comments to make on this subject. My husband goes to games with his buddies or our son but he has never had season tickets…way out of our price range. I am not a football fan…sorry to offend anyone. I respect those who are and give them space.

I was in Arkansas this past weekend and the Razorbacks were glaring at me when I told them my son spent four years at UGA…I tried to make them feel better and tell them I worked 7 years at Wal- Mart in HS and college. ( for those who do not know it all started in Arkansas).
Have Fun!

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
7:48 am

After more thought though I must admit my wife tends to complicate some things, but going to sporting events is not one of them…..she was in the marching band in high school and college – that may have something to do with it.

JATL

September 28th, 2009
7:51 am

OK -first I will say that I LOVE UGA football and would be happy to go to games in any weather with my husband! We enjoy watching the games together on tv, and we both tend to chatter a little bit about non-football issues the same amount during the game and watch the game closely during most plays. I love drinking bourbon and coke in Sanford Stadium, and I am capable of getting something to eat all by myself if I decide I’m starving. The very idea of driving around downtown Athens on gameday is ludicrous and no one wants to have to go meet some friend or anyone when the agenda for the day is to go to a game (or a concert or some other time-sensitive event) -it’s annoying.

Having said all of that -it’s still crystal clear that you, Michael, need some sensitivity training. You come across as a jerk when Theresa writes about you because evidently you are! Maybe not so much IF at other times during the year you stay at home all day on Saturdays or Sundays with the kids while Theresa goes off and does whatever she wants to do -sometimes for several weekends in a row over a 3 month period. If you do that, then we need to know about it because otherwise you’re not considerate or even nice. I’m not sure why, but it sounds like Theresa wants to spend some time with you (she did marry you and have 3 kids with you after all). Perhaps you should both find something you mutually enjoy to get a sitter for and go do on a regular basis. As far as Theresa talking to your seat neighbors -who cares? Why is this an issue for you Michael? At least then she’s leaving you alone, which sounds like your main objective here. Given other topics where it was mentioned that you don’t even want your kids participating in activities that may conflict with UGA football, it sounds like you need a big case of GROWING UP! You have 3 young children and a wife, so most Saturdays in the fall may not be yours to do with what you please. Hey, like I said, my husband and I both LOVE UGA football -lots of college football actually -and spend as much time as possible (see -AS POSSIBLE) watching it, but we have two small children ourselves, so that means that every Saturday isn’t given to doing exactly what we want.

deidre_NC

September 28th, 2009
7:56 am

i alwys loved to go to football (and baseball) games..i do watch them on tv but id much rather go to them in person…i totally undestand that theresa doesnt want to get sick and not be 100% for taking care of kids if shes sick..that is a true issue…what i dont understand is why her going to the game is even an issue…if you dont want to go dont go…as i said in an earlier post on this topic…get a babysitter and do something that you like to do…make it a girls day–or a day with your family..whatever…dont just sit home and stew..i did that when i was really young and i learned real early–its only hurting you..and in the long run it will hurt your marriage….theres no rule that says a woman cant have their own thing to do..you just have to find it…hell theresa….for what the tickets cost you could spend the day at a spa…all nice and warm and getting tons of attention..you can talk if you like or not…whatever…spend that ticket money on a day at the spa!!!!! hes at the game having fun…your getting all pampered…sounds perfect to me….no reason you shouldnt have this day for you just as michel has it for him!!!!

deidre_NC

September 28th, 2009
8:07 am

i also agree with jatl…as your kids get older o are gonna have to put your games in the backseat…your kids should come first most of the time…and you will regret it when they are older and their memories are oh–when i scored that great touchdown.or first ballet recital or whatever great thing they accomplised on a uga saturday…their memory is oh yeah dad wasnt tehre he was at a uga game…that sucks michael..and it will be something you regret..so you need to realize that…remember the cats in the cradle song? listen to it…and it really doesnt sound like the 2 of yall have much of a life together outside of the kids…when you have a family you have to have family time…couple time and then alone time…everyone needs some alone or with friends time…i understand that…but when the kids get older and older a LOT of you rtime is gonna be family time..or should be..its hard for woking couples to get much alone or with friends time…its hard to get just couples time….you need to figure out what is really important to you…those dawgs are gonna be playing forever….FOREVER!!!! your kids will be gone one day and trust me that day comes way too soon….

i wonder what yalls family’s opinions on this are…im sure they hear both sides of yalls arguments…what advice to they give?

deidre_NC

September 28th, 2009
8:11 am

and michael…why does it bother you that theresa is talking to game seat neighbors? does she embarrass you? if so that is another issue…if she is bothering the other people im sure they will let her know..at least by ignoring her lol…i swear it just doesnt sound like theresa needs to go to games…she doesnt like them…it sounds like shes going just to get some time with you..isnt there anything else yall can do together that yall both enjoy? what did yall do before the kids came?

George P

September 28th, 2009
8:13 am

It’s interesting that the interpretation of this seems to be split along sex lines, and my opinion fits that.

This is something he loves doing a few Saturdays a year. If you want to do it with him, that’s great, but it seems as if you only want to do it if you can change it into something you want to do and, in the process, kill a lot of what he loves about it.

It’s great that you are showing this interest, but try to understand that it’s not just watching the game that makes these football Saturdays such a joy for him: it’s the game, and it’s all these things you want to take away.

Pick another day for the two of you to go to Athens and go to that restaurant and visit your friend. It will be easier, too, since potential babysitters won’t be busy with the game.

JJ

September 28th, 2009
8:24 am

Honestly…..I love a good sporting event, I don’t care if it’s football, hockey or baseball. I’d rather see it live than on tv. I’m there, and I won’t complain!!!! I love stadium food, tailgating, whatever. I don’t care if its raining, snowing or what….as long as I’m with good friends/family and having a good time, that’s what it’s all about.

I don’t care about weather…..it’s gonna happen, I can’t control it. We were at the Chili Cookoff this past weekend, and I didn’t care if it rained or not. I’m out of the house, and not working so I don’t care…….we were lucky however, it didn’t start raining until about 3:15 and we were out of the park an on 78 by that time. Perfect timing.

I think couples need activities without each other. Michael has every right to go to those football games on Saturday, that’s his passion. I’m sure he works hard, and deserves to play hard too. If that’s the worst thing he does, and leaves Theresa at home with the kids, then whats the big deal. Then Theresa should plan a girlfriend activity one day a week, when the dogs aren’t playing……..compromise.

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
8:26 am

I think Theresa you may have unrealistic expectations of what it means to go with your husband to a college football game. You keep referring to it like it is a “Date.” Michael did not once refer to this outing as a “date.” Perception…

Yes you get to be alone with him without the kids present but this is what he does to relax and get away from things doing what he likes to do. If you don’t want to participate like he does fine but don’t make it out to be something more than it is.

If you want a true “date” I suggest you get a sitter and go out to dinner/movie and maybe stay in a hotel. I can guarantee that you will have Michael’s undivided attention then.

DB

September 28th, 2009
8:31 am

@ MJG – yuck, yep, it is waaay to early, but the DH left at 5 AM for the week, and I needed to finish up a project for a client. :-)

Michael, I echo the same question that other posters have posed: You were very interested in getting Walsh involved in little league football — how did you plan to resolve Walsh’s game days with UGA game days? This is going to become a major conflict as the kids get older and start playing soccer, football, softball, cheerleading, or whatever. In five or six years, you’re going to have kids ranging from 7 to 13 — prime-time for kids sports. You’re going to have a real mess on your hands if you insist on taking EVERY Saturday to devote to UGA football and leave Theresa to ferry kids to games, etc. all weekend long. And what are you going to do when Walsh or the girls start wanting to go to UGA games with you? It’s going to happen, especially if they are exposed to it constantly at home, as they appear to be.

Both of my kids almost drowned this weekend at football games — my son went to the UNC-GaTech game, and my daughter was at the UGA game. I’m with Theresa — the idea of sitting through a game in the rain makes me cringe. Years ago, I went to the FSU-Nebraska game at the Orange Bowl, and it rained TORRENTS — we watched water cascading down the stadium steps like little waterfalls. My DH was determined to stay for the entire game, since we had paid a lot for the tickets, hotel room, baby sitter, etc. I still remember sitting there huddled in the cold rain – blech!

Photius

September 28th, 2009
8:32 am

Michael is fine… leave him alone.

Captain Hammer

September 28th, 2009
8:33 am

Speaking of undivided attention:

What do you get when you have two green balls in your hand?

Kermit the Frog’s undivided attention….LOL

momtoAlex&Max

September 28th, 2009
8:38 am

Well, I love football. Stanford stadium is the greatest place on earth on Saturdays during the fall.

Thing is, we have two boys. They have sporting events of their own. When they were littler, I would have been seriously recentful if my husband got to leave for hours 6 Saturdays in a row and I was stuck at home. Having said that, I guess I would have put up with it if *I* got to have 6 Saturdays on my own too. Maybe Theresa did and didn’t share (not very likely); but I don’t think she did/does.

I was actually kinda on Michael’s side before reading this.

lakerat

September 28th, 2009
8:40 am

Football is for the heathens!!!!

Mattie

September 28th, 2009
8:41 am

Enter your comments here
I am the wife in this equation, but I have to agree with the men here today. For the short period of time that college football is relevant each fall, I would be happy to step aside and let my husband enjoy the game in his own style, with his friends. I do like college games, but I like my husband more, and if my being there took away from his fun, I would stay home.

I would expect his full attention after the season though. No changing football outings into golf dates the rest of the year.

pd

September 28th, 2009
8:45 am

The problem with most relationships is communication. Too much communication. Michael, of course Theresa resents you going away every weekend to watch a game. Of course she is going to all but ruin your usual day of football. But you don’t say anything about it. For God’s sake man, you keep your mouth shut. You are already getting a lot by going to so many games. Never communicate your feelings unless those feelings are ones that she wants to hear. What are you considering this? Constructive criticism. As if Theresa is suddenly going to think, “Oh, I should stop resenting Michael and accept that I am not as fun as his friend”. Of course she isn’t. All you have done by running your trap is make her more resentful and feel insulted.

If you would have just taken her to one game a year and just let her choose what you did during that one day and pretended like it was a good time, you would have been able to enjoy the rest of the games without that nagging feeling in the back of your mind that she is resenting you.

Talk less Michael. Think about this; every argument you have starts with a conversation. Therefore, don’t start conversations unless you can see a clear path through the mind field that is a woman’s emotional mind.

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
8:49 am

@pd

Valid point. The question is, did Michael voluntarily provide this to Theresa or did she specifically ask for this from him as potential material to use on her blog….hmmm…

deidre_NC

September 28th, 2009
8:55 am

lmao at pd….every fight starts with communication…so dont have communication.i think yo just solved the riddle of why men dont talk lmao

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
8:55 am

Also, after more carefully reading of Michael’s blog I saw that he did, in fact, refer to this outing as a, “game date.” I appologise to Theresa and to Michael…..dude you should never have referred to this outing as a date….that sets Theresa up for expectations I don’t think you ever meant to meet…..FAIL!

HB

September 28th, 2009
8:58 am

Well said, PD. The notion that she is killing the fun of something he loves by not folowing his usual routine is ridiculous. It’s ONE game! She’s not asking to do this every week. Out of appreciation for all the game days she does all the parenting herself, make one game now and then a fun day for her! And Dr. Horrible, he did call it “our first game date in years.”

Becky

September 28th, 2009
9:03 am

Guess I’m lucky with this..My husband would rather watch the game on TV than live..I will sometimes ask him a question about something that happened, but for the most part, I’m quiet during the game..

Michael, like others said, you should give Theresa some down time for her when the weather is her “type”..

YUKI

September 28th, 2009
9:06 am

First of all I was cracking up at Michael’s comments…too funny. But I’m right there with Theresa, I have no desire to go sit at a football game in the rain (or heat for that matter). I am not a huge football fan as it is…I would more be going for the social part of it and not actually watching the game. I went to several games when I was in college but I don’t remember sitting down and actually watching football even for 10 minutes, I was more likely found talking to people and drinking instead…
I would be beyond aggravated if my husband went to games all the time and left me home all day. It’s not an issue because neither of us went to colleges with big football programs so we don’t really care anyway.
The LEAST he could do after spending so much time at the games with friends is make sure you have some days to yourself…like someone said go to a spa or hang out with girlfriends and let him stay home and take care of the kids…It has to be fair at the very least!!!!

pd

September 28th, 2009
9:07 am

“The question is, did Michael voluntarily provide this to Theresa or did she specifically ask for this from him as potential material to use on her blog”

It doesn’t matter. When your wife asks you something as potentially hazardous as “Why don’t you like taking me to football games?” you should not answer her honestly. You stop, think, “What answer can I give that will result in the least amount of hassle?”…..Then you answer, “Baby, I love taking you to games. I love doing anything with you.” and then you walk away quickly while muttering something about how you have to be somewhere ten minutes ago.

Dodge and duck. dodge and duck. Otherwise, you didn’t just ruin one football weekend, you ruined several.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

September 28th, 2009
9:10 am

Dr. Horrible — i believe the genesis of the blog came as we were talking about the expected weather on Thursday before the game — I should say as I was talking about the expected weather — and he said I should write a column about all the reasons I don’t take you to the games — and I said sure, that would be funny. And so he wrote it last night.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

September 28th, 2009
9:10 am

that last comment should have been addressed to Pd

Dr. Horrible

September 28th, 2009
9:16 am

@pd

I personally believe in, “keeping it real.” Though I get what you are saying, I would rather be completely honest with my wife and not just placate her. I guess it just matters who you are dealing with and if they tend to let their emotions get overly involved or not.

Jesse's Girl

September 28th, 2009
9:30 am

You people make it sound as if a “date” always means romance….thats so not true. At least not for us. I refer to it as a date if we can go out for more than 2 hours without the children. We’ve had game-dates, hiking-dates, Home Depot/Lowes-dates…..I think Theresa’s point is to spend some time with him….and I think Michael needs to tread carefully. She has given birth your children….sees to all of their daily needs (and your’s) and holds down a job…I would like to think you could make her feel like she’s above UGA for one day. Question is….why won’t you?

cj

September 28th, 2009
9:41 am

I understand where both Michael and Theresa are coming from. I am a UGA fan by marriage, but truly do love the DAWGS! But I am in the same situation as Theresa. My hubby loves his GA football, gets season tickets every year and goes to pretty much every game. Since he graduated, my DH and his best friend have bought their seats together. The first year we were together I did not even go to a single game because that ticket was spoken for. After that I got the extra seat until the kids started coming. Then I dropped off and a guy friend gets to go with him. While I did get to go though I had a blast talking to our seat neighbors (who was Theresa – because my DH and his best friend have the three seats next to Michael), well the wife (Theresa) because the husband (Michael) was really into the game. I even met her oldest child that way, and I think the second one too. But she dropped off too. Now I go to maybe one game a year, sometimes not that. I know my hubby has more fun without me and I don’t have to deal with the general discomfort, rain, heat, crowd, etc. But I have found that I too feel a little resentful of the whole thing, especially when he misses things like our kids sports events, school functions and this year, Halloween. I keep reminding myself though that this is truly his only “hobby”. He works hard to give us everything we have and I shouldn’t be a total nag for him. He needs his time with his friends too. So I bite my tongue and if he invites me, I go and have fun, like we did before we had kids – or try to.

Sug

September 28th, 2009
9:42 am

So basically what you are saying is once you get married, you have to give up your passion?

Just how many home games are there? It’s not every saturday of the year, or every saturday during the fall.

When the dogs are away, get a sitter, and you and Michael take a ride up into the mountains and get some apples. Just the two of you.

But good lord, let the man enjoy his football. It’s a minor thing, pick your battles.

Lynda

September 28th, 2009
9:51 am

On game days my husband and his friends gather at our house, and I usually have 10-15 men in front of the tv on Saturdays and Sundays. I always make some dips and munchies for the guys, then all the wives/girlfriends and I would all go find something else to do for a few hours while they watched football.

Sometimes we went shopping, hit the fall festivals, or go see movies. Every so often, one or two of us would volunteer to keep all the kids, so some could go off without kids and husbands.

COMMUNICATION and planning is all it takes.

Some of you need to learn how to do things with out your spouse on game days. Don’t get all pissy and ugly with the guy, just let him watch his football or whatever, and go find something else to do!!!!! Honestly, there is just too much whining here today.

Marriage does not equal death. You still have a life to live, get out there and enjoy it!!!!!

New Stepmom

September 28th, 2009
10:08 am

Having grown up with Auburn football home games as a family tradition, I am excited that my husband is an SEC fan as well. We do not make it to all home games for AU or UGA but when we do, we make sure both of us have something to enjoy. I love the tailgate as much as the game, we have tailgated with the same crowd in Auburn for more than 20 years as does my husband.

It seems to me that it would be nice for Michael to enjoy most of the games on his own, but have 1 game each season where he and Theresa go together and both compromise on the day’s activities.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

September 28th, 2009
10:13 am

Hello CJ!!!! Long time no see!!! I swear I haven’t been to a game in 3 years!! Halloween is whole other story — he missed it last year and I bet will it this year! It does make me sad!! Clearly the schedulers at Georgia don’t have school age kids who trick or treat anymore!!

I miss seeing you and talking with you!! I don’t even know how many kids you guys have now because J and M never talk about stuff like that!!!!

Email me at ajcmomania@gmail.com and catch me up if you want!!

Tonya C.

September 28th, 2009
10:19 am

Theresa, you’re really nice. Seriously. I would have cut this mess off after kid # 2. A few games every season…I could live with. Most Saturdays during my favorite season of the year…HELL NO. This is exactly why I REFUSED to marry a huge sports fan. My dad wasn’t one and I wasn’t going to tolerate the nonsense.

How often do you guys have date night? How often do you get to go out and spend an ENTIRE weekend day by yourself? These games are dang near sunrise to sunset affairs. What is he going to do once the kids have their own activities? Leave you to do the shuttling? Please.

As far as the hobby argument? Pure poop. A hobby is something you do in your free time….this is manufactured free time. I’m sure that these are not the only Saturdays during the year that Michael has something non-family oriented planned. Just saying.

Tonya C.

September 28th, 2009
10:24 am

Theresa, when Michael brings up putting Walsh into little league football make sure you say NO. The time commitment required is BIG, and unless he’s ready to watch those games on the big screen or TIVO, don’t put yourself in that position.

I was blessed with a father who thought the weekends were to catch up with his kids, not sports. He rarely ever missed any events for myself or my sisters unless he HAD to work. Life changes when you get married, and sometimes hobbies must change along with it.

Bladez

September 28th, 2009
10:27 am

Tonya C. – Marriage is nothing without compromise…it sounds like that is a foreign concept to you. Too bad. I hope the man you marry is a boring, loathsome individual that cares little for his own needs in favor of catering to yours….Good luck with that.

Lynda

September 28th, 2009
10:31 am

I just checked the UGA game schedule..6, count em, 6 home games. There are 52 Saturdays a year, and you are pitching a fit over 6 of them.

What do you do the other 45 Saturdays?

Lynda

September 28th, 2009
10:32 am

Sorry, the other 46 saturdays? My math isn’t good today.

Tonya C.

September 28th, 2009
10:35 am

Bladez:

Already married, and my husband is NOT a sports fan in the rabid sense. This situation is NOT a compromise, because one party is resentful of the other. My husband gets his free time, but isn’t so greedy that it’s done without thinking of his family needs first. He goes to sporting events and outings with his friends, and I leave him alone when he’s gone. But they are within reason and sure as heck not consecutive weekends in a row.

Again, the men in my family are not like that. They got married with the understanding that things change, and they changed along with it. I no longer head out to the club with the girls every other weekend…ya know, cause I’m a wife. Nor do I go shopping with them all the time or other things I did b-4 I took on the responsibility of being someone’s wife.

pd

September 28th, 2009
10:41 am

I am a man and a football fan, although I prefer pro to college these days. I also graduated from UGA. That written, I can’t imagine leaving my son on Halloween for anything at all. Thats ridiculous.

Bladez

September 28th, 2009
10:46 am

I think you need to calm down a little Tonya, it’s one day of the weekend. And so what if it is consecutive? And why is it that the person that feels resentment is the one that is the victim here? She can do things that she wants to do if she wants to do them.

Tonya C.

September 28th, 2009
11:02 am

Bladez:

Do you have children? At least two of them? Doing what she ‘wants’ can be tough with them in tow. Michael travels quite a bit for work, probably making her miss him even more. She’s already home all week with them, trying to be a household manager and a mother. It’s really difficult, and as a newly-minted SAHM I understand that this is less about football, and more about he feeling neglected. Missing kids’ activities or holidays should NOT happen….not for a game of any kind.

Saturdays are precious in most families, for a variety of reasons. Just a fact. Especially if as a couple your schedule is hectic during the week, you savor Saturdays as together time. Or your running around time, or your kids time…I think that their lives are changing and although this activity may have fit their schedules when the kids were younger, things may be changing and things need to be re-evaluated.

I know what it’s like to feel like Theresa does, and it sucks. Unfortunately, it’s also hard to put into words without sounding like a whiny ingrate. But I will say this: She let it go one this long without any serious conversation. And that’s wrong. I don’t let things go like that because I’m vocal about what irks me.