My 30-something girlfriend got married for the first time Labor Day weekend in a spectacular wedding on her family’s farm in the Berkshires. We were blessed that we were able to get away for 36 hours and go to her fabulous wedding. (Best wedding we’ve ever been to! More on the get-away later.)
But now the wedding is over, and it doesn’t matter that her dress was drop-dead beautiful or that her menu was amazing. Now she is a married woman with a 5-year-old stepson. (Her new little guy is a fantastic kid. I really enjoyed meeting him and chatting with him! He gave me a very detailed explanation of how the reception tent was hammered into the ground.)
So I thought it would be interesting to offer her our best marriage advice and advice on being a new stepmom. I think learning to be a great stepmom and walking that fine line with the child’s mom may actually be harder than learning to be a great wife.
The good news is she is great with children. Whenever she comes to visit us she is so interested in our children. She talks to them with respect. She plays with them, reads to them and loves to cuddle them. I think she will be a great stepmom to her new little guy. But I’m also sure there are tricks to the trade of becoming a stepmom and pitfalls she should avoid.
I’m also interested in your advice on getting married in your late 30s. I was married in my early 20s and went straight from roommates to a husband. I never lived alone. I think it would be a pretty different experience being used to having your own house and everything exactly the way you want it and then having to start compromising. I know it can be done, but I’m sure there are ways to make this transition easier!
What do you think? What advice would you give my very good friend about being a new wife and a new stepmother? Does she get to discipline the little guy? How much say does she get in decisions about his life?