Comments on: Appropriate at a kid’s party to have winners and losers?

By: Dan

Dan — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 19:50:35 +0000

Is it appropriate? It should be required

By: Irene

Irene — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:51:22 +0000

Why oh why would you have a contest? Shouldn’t a party just be fun?

By: Meg Hasten

Meg Hasten — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 21:09:30 +0000

I think it’s completely acceptable to have a prize. I agree that kids need to learn early on that there are winners and losers in life and you don’t always get what you want. The sooner they learn this, the more gracious winners and losers they will be. It could be a great opportunity to talk to your son about this too. Good luck!

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 23:39:28 +0000

OK, this is a party for First graders, right? Why do you have to pit them against each other? Can’t little kids just be allowed to have fun? There is a simple solution: play games for fun…believe me, they WILL have fun…then everyone gets a small prize or goody bag to take home when it’s time to go. Everyone has a great time, and they ALL have something special to show mom and dad when they get home. The POINT of the party is to have FUN, right?

By: MA

MA — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 16:32:45 +0000

JATL – Your Fall Festival King and Queen contests reminded me of our “Color Day” (Homecoming). I grew up in a very small town and we had “Color Day” to recognize all the clubs in our school. We did have the court with a queen and king and attendants. My class was only 72 kids, so, there were 12 boys and 12 girls picked for the court. It was pretty much a popularity contest. The court was voted on by the student body. I was in a tie with one girl, so, the teachers voted to break the tie and the other girl won(she was also voted most outstanding girl in our Senior class). I was crushed, but, I went to the coronation(in jeans and a ratty sweatshirt) and didn’t go to the dance. My dad told me to suck it up, and, I did. That was many, many moons ago.

I still believe in winners and losers. Not everyone can win. That’s life!

By: JATL

JATL — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 14:11:49 +0000

Absolutely have winners, losers and prizes! I’m so SICK of the status quo about self esteem and not having any losers I can’t stand it. When I was in school we had Fall Festival King and Queen contests. Talk about competitive!!!! First, one boy and one girl got elected from each class 1st -6th grades, then there was an overall election for who out of all of those pairs would be fall festival king and queen! Kind of like homecoming, but in elementary school. Everyone lived through it, and I highly doubt that it’s come up in any therapy sessions.

I heard a fantastic interview on NPR the other day with two child psychologists who have written a book advising parents NOT to hover, NOT to over-praise and NOT to teach their kids that they’re always winners! They did years of testing that showed the kids who didn’t win everything and who were told they were doing a good job trying, but that they needed to try a little harder were the ones who consistently demanded harder tasks, tackled them and stuck with them until they were done or solved. The kids who were always told how great they were and what a good job they always did (even when it wasn’t true) demanded the easiest tasks and were easily distracted. Our society really needs to get over its obsession with making sure everyone feels fabulous all the time.

By: deidre_NC

deidre_NC — Sat, 12 Sep 2009 03:44:01 +0000

‘get it right’ i always told my kids that fair was a place where you ride rides and eat cotton candy…oh they hate to hear that now…but if they start to say something about fairness..they immediately repeat ‘i know i know–fair is a place where you ride rides and eat cotton candy’ lol..

to hunter of milfs—im sure you are one of the nice one :)

i love the idea of meeting…it could be a blast..

By: DB

DB — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 22:59:52 +0000

I went from a “W” to a “B” when I married — I was SOOO excited, I had absolutely NO qualms about taking my husband’s name! I had spent my entire life being last in line, at the back of the classroom, etc., etc. Love the view from the front!

By: BRC

BRC — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:52:28 +0000

The husband was the prize (ducking the tomatoes now).

By: new mom

new mom — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 21:39:59 +0000

No prize for you BRC, it might make someone else feel bad about themselves… ;)