Comments on: Who chooses extracurricular activities: Kids or Parents?

By: Camping for Dummies: I need your best camping advice! | A Blog for Busy Moms - MOMania

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 13:35:56 +0000

[...] This weekend our family will be CAMPING for the first time thanks to the Cub Scouts. (Walshie did join Cub Scouts. See earlier entry on that decision.) [...]

By: Theresa's favorite? cousin

Theresa's favorite? cousin — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 15:16:46 +0000

Our family has been active in Girl Scouts since Juliet Lowe’s time, and it broke my heart to have to explain to my son that he couldn’t be a Cub Scout because our family doesn’t believe in joining any clubs that discriminate against people for who they are. I know we did the right thing even though it’s hard for him to watch his sister having so much fun with her troop. We are looking for an alternative for him, but there’s not much in our area.

By: Harpist

Harpist — Fri, 28 Aug 2009 02:11:49 +0000

I feel like my situation has been represented already, but will give a synopsis anyway. My daughter is almost 6. She took gymnastics from age 3-4 and became disinterested, so I let her quit. She took ballet age age 5 during the school year, and has no interest in continuing. She took tball in the Spring, swim team in the summer, and now will do Girl Scouts, fall tball, Wed night church and a dance class, which will only be once a week and is preempted by Girl Scouts 2 times a month. My feeling, as mentioned many times, is that I want her to try different things and see where her interests/talents lie. She loves to swim, but swim team wasn’t her favorite at first, but it grew on her as the summer went and she wants to do it next summer. I pushed her to continue Wed night church, since she has talent in singing and she’s in the church children’s choir. Tball, I have to admit, is a little due to me living vicariously through her, but I don’t make her do it. She plays on her boy cousin’s team and it’s a great way for her and I to see some of our family on a regular basis. Girl Scouts is something we’ll try and see how it goes. Dance (hip hop) class is the one thing that she really looks forward to. In my case, I don’t “make” her do any of it and wouldn’t want to do that. She seems to eagerly want activities to look forward to, and asks me daily to tell her what interesting thing she gets to do the following day. All in all, her commitments only take 2-3 weeknights and hopefully will stay that way.

To answer Theresa’s question, I think giving them opportunities (choices) and then letting them take the lead is a great strategy. I am a musician for a living (I know you from the allergy clinic), and I always enjoyed music because my parents didn’t make me do it. Same for the 11 years of softball I played growing up (and the Girl Scouts, and the cheerleading, etc). Bon chance.

By: Rae Pica

Rae Pica — Thu, 27 Aug 2009 15:43:09 +0000

Well, you’ve had plenty of input, Theresa; so I won’t go into detail. I just want to say that, as a children’s physical activity who has literally written the book(s) on this subject, I believe you’re completely in the right here. Yes, parents are supposed to guide children. But they’re also supposed to follow their lead. Children need to discover their likes and dislikes, and where their passions lie, on their own. They’ll never do so if their choices are discounted and they do only what they’re made to do!

By the way, thanks for putting your foot down about the football. Excellent decision!! : )

By: A

Wed, 26 Aug 2009 14:31:04 +0000

Here I thought I was the only one who won’t consider Boy/Cub Scouts for their son specifically due to their stance on gays and atheists. I am neither of those, but upon principle I couldn’t in good conscience let my son join a group that bigoted. I agree they are a private organization and as such can make up their own rules. I would never prevent anyone else from joining, but it’s definitely not for our progressive family. I think we’ll stick with sports and music lessons for now.

By: FCM

FCM — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 08:41:06 +0000

Deidre and fk — I concur with the finish the season. My youngest child did not finish the season one time in soccer. At that point the child was spending so much time working at not being on the field it was crazy! However, said child was very young (5). Since then the mandate has been you go for the whole term…Like others, each year at registration I ask, do you want to play or do ‘x’ and let them know how long it is for. Other times I point out that we cannot do it because of other commitments — tennis this summer comes to mind, since I knew they would be traveling with extended family.

By: HB

HB — Wed, 26 Aug 2009 00:40:18 +0000

More good info and thoughts — thanks, DB!

By: deidre_NC

deidre_NC — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:38:20 +0000

whew,,what a hornets nest this topic stirred up lol…6 years old is too young to have more than 1 after school activity…and then theres church too…and i think 6 is too young to be committed to more than 2 nights a week plus church night..thats 3 nights (afternoons) a week for activities…plenty. if he doesnt want to play football then he shouldnt be made to. scouts are great but they are a family thing…so if the family (mom and dad) cant be involved a lot then id say no to that…check it out and ask people who are already in what would be his troop. i loved scouting and my kids did…we are avid campers-horseback riders-all that stuff…ive been to many father son trips..since my son didnt have a father to go lol…that was a hoot :)…but someone said karate-that is an awesome sport if you can get a great instructor…lots of mental and physical lessons learned there. i personally think sports are for a little older…they take so much time…my daughter started playing basketball when she was in 3rd grade and it was almost everyday…and games on saturdays. as she got older it literally ruled her life…her last year she didnt play because she said she just wasnt into her whole life being taken over again…i always did have one rule…if you started a season or year you had to finish it. so with scouts if he starts make him finish at least the year…and same with any sport…finish the season…i would vote karate if i had to choose for you…its awesome…(i loved being a scout and was a scout leader too..for my girls and boys–but it is time conssuming and karate is just great really!!) as he gets older he can have more activities…you will feel better about him riding with other people more as he gets older. it is really hard for a family to make time for so many things going on…something crucial-like family time-gets lost in the shuffle…

By: fk

fk — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:36:08 +0000

The one thing we did not allow our son to do is quit before an activity ended. He signed up for basketball two or three times. The last season, his buddies quit and it irritated me b/c there were kids who were not playing b/c the slots had all been filled. We were the meanest parents b/c he “had to” finish out the season. Same with scouts, he stuck with it until the school year ended, went to summer camp (his choice), but did not sign up again in the fall.

Football was hard work and time consuming. By far, it was the one sport that took up more of his time than any other. Every season, at the end, without fail, he swore he would not play the following year. Yet when spring football rolled around, there he was. I always reminded him that the spring sign-up would carry him thru November, summer workouts included.

Looking back, I’m glad that I did not allow my reservations steer him away from the sport, injuries and all. He has no regrets. And, he learned more than just the game, he learned teamwork, commitment, discipline and most importantly, time management.

By: No Scouts No Way

No Scouts No Way — Tue, 25 Aug 2009 22:27:35 +0000

FYI: I am not gay; I am not an atheist. I am also not Jewish or African/American. I still would not join the Hitler Youth or the KKK. I am not interested in having my child taught that atheists and gays are not good enough; not “morally straight” etc. I am also quite clear that if Jesus accepted tax collectors and prostitutes, he would also not have accepted groups and policies that make other people “wrong” for their beliefs or their sexual orientation.