Comments on: Siblings close now; siblings close later?

By: anon

anon — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 23:57:52 +0000

My sister and I are 11 years apart, and close. My husband and his brother are 18 months apart and not very close. I think some of it is how important family is to your family. My parents always expected me to do things with them as a family, and there was no arguing….going to church and going to eat after church, family activites, traveling (we have both now been to all 50 states, together for probably all but 5 of them) my sister coming to my activities (a 2 year old at a middle school dance is fun!), and me going to her activities…(11 years of dance recitals…finally done). I don’t see this same expectation with my husband and his brother. They see each other probably 5-6 times a year. FB is great for keeping up with extended family too!

By: AKALady

AKALady — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 13:49:11 +0000

My brother & I are 5 yrs apart in age (I’m the oldest). Growing up, we did typical sibling things…we argued, played, loved each other, disliked each other, but I always tried to protect him & he looked up to me. As he approached teen yrs, we became closer than as kids, but we still argued, loved, & disliked each other at times. No matter what, we always knew that we had each others backs. On Christmas Eve 08, we had a huge fall out & haven’t spoken since then, although we sent each other b’day cards this year. I even texted him to see how his b’day was going. Last Friday, I had to have outpatient surgery & needed someone to care for me 24 hrs after being released. My brother was there for me. No matter what…we’ve always loved each other…we’re family. We were raised in a loving family & were taught to take care of each other. If I can’t rely on friends or even a spouse one day…I know I have my baby brother.

By: Tig

Tig — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 12:46:33 +0000

My sister is 6 1/2 years younger than me, so that plus the fact that after our parents divorced I moved in with my dad when I was 14 and she doesn’t remember us ever living in the same house has really kept us from being as close as I wish she and I could be. We still talk from time to time and get along without any problems, we’re just not that close but I know that we would be there for each other in a heartbeat if an appropriate situation arose.

By: misawa

misawa — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:58:31 +0000

My brother and I are best friends (2 and 1/2 yrs apart). Getting along with our younger sister is a real chore (5 yrs younger than me). When my brother went to live with our dad (after the divorce) it crushed me… and apparently our mom, too, who agreed to let me go live with dad before I was legally allowed to choose. Our sister stayed with our mom. I’m sure that had a good bit to do with it, but the relationship with my sister has been rocky all along. When we make the pilgrimage back home now she rarely comes around, even though she still lives with my mom. Now that being said, when she had her baby, I went down there – it’s just what you do. The difference is my brother could call me and tell me he needed me and I’d start packing a bag without blinking an eye; my sister could say the same thing and I’d ask twenty questions – I’d still probably go, but I’d grumble the whole way.

By: Tiffany

Tiffany — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 02:54:11 +0000

I’d like to add to the facebook topic…has anyone ever looked up old boyfriends/girlfriends? Would you tell your spouse about it, or keep it a secret? What do you say to your former love after all those years? What if you found out that you still kind of had feelings for them? Some of my friends do this a lot…even meeting up with these people for lunch, ect. Most of these people are now happily- or so they say- married with kids. I feel a little hesitant about it myself.
Theresa- I wish my own sister was as nice as you are! Good luck to your brother.

By: catlady

catlady — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 00:14:56 +0000

My children were close (not in age, but in every other way) and I think they are even closer now (in 20s and 30s) than they were then. Thank God! As an only child, I always wanted a sibling to be close to.

Teresa, I am wondering why the commenting closed so early last night? I would have liked to encourage those wondering about your question to look at 3 books: Promises I can Keep (about why poor women choose parenthood before marriage), How the Poor Get to College (what can help the most unlikely poor folks get additional education), and Nickled and Dimed (about what minimum wage life is like.) Each of those would give some important perspective to most of us who have led rather middle class lives.

By: fk

fk — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 23:47:26 +0000

I am one of ten. My older sisters are 8, 10, & 11 years my senior. We are all close, but not as I was growing up. My older sisters were close growing up, but did not travel in the same social groups until they were out of high school. I have a brother who is 2 years younger than me, and we have always been very close. If he had been a girl, he would have been my maid of honor at my wedding. Things are different now, I got married in the 80s. We are still close, but do not see each other often, even though he lives in NC. He calls me and I call him. We email a lot and there’s always fb.

I have four older brothers. The oldest are 12 & 13 years older than me. They were awesome “big” brothers. I am still close with them and their wives, actually with all of their wives, except my younger brother’s. She’s very different from us, really into her horses and animals, rather than people. And, that’s fine. It’s like we just can’t find common ground. Nothing to dislike, just no common denominator other than my brother. And, it’s not me, but all of my sisters and sisters-in-law. Actually, one of my bros. is divorced, but his ex is still very much part of the family.

I am closer now than I ever was with the two bros. that are 5 & 6 years older than me. Seriously, they were they babies till I came along, and I think there was resent towards me during their childhood years. I also have a younger sister. She has the most amazing trait to find friends and SOs with issues, recovering addicts, pathological liars, etc. She is now engaged to a guy who is such a loser…unable to hold a job tops the list. It’s hard to be happy for her when it seems she is making the biggest mistake in her life. Try to be supportive, but it’s not easy. She has pulled away from all of us in varying degrees, but still is very open with two of my sisters-in-law, which is good. BUT, it’s sad.

The older siblings have grown children, some grandchildren. They are all having a great time, they vacation at least 2x a year together. The next generation of cousins are also close. It’s an amazing thing to watch. My parents were close with their siblings, so I think it was “natural” that we would become closer as we aged. And, we see our cousins, too. Life is good :)

Theresa — Glad to hear your brother was moved to his own room. That is progress. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

By: Becky

Becky — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:11:09 +0000

Like others even if we fought as kids, we were there for each other no matter what..I have 1 older brother and 1 older sister that put some neighborhood kids up to pushing another brother and sister off of a bicycle one time..Needless to say another brother and sister beat the daylights out of the neighborhood kids before they found out that they had been put up to doing that..Made for a great friendship for all of them after that..

By: Not Close

Not Close — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 20:08:06 +0000

FB is just not for me I guess. I guess I don’t have much interest in finding old friends or broadcasting my life to others… I also wouldn’t really want to re-connect with my brother or sister this way…
I know I’m out of the norm as most people are on twitter/fb/etc and want to keep in constant communication with everyone.

By: Layla

Layla — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 19:06:25 +0000

My sib and I are 5 1/2 years apart (he’s older) He liked me until I was about 5 and started following him all over the place when his friends were over. We pretty much hated each other from then until one of us moved out of the house. But he would defend me against anyone else. Now we get along very well. We don’t talk on the phone much, but mostly because we have different schedules. We live in different states, so we don’t get to see each other much, but it’s fun when we do. FB has also made it easier to keep in touch, not only with him, but other relatives that I don’t see much but have gotten closer to. I admit, I spend WAAAAY too much time on it! Drat those games!