Can Dad be trusted to take notes on curriculum night?

My husband is a professional journalist who has been trusted for almost 20 years by the largest news-gathering organization in the world to witness, report and edit the news. He’s covered presidential elections, Supreme Court nominee hearings, hurricanes, executions and the Olympics.

However, can I trust him to take notes for me on first-grade curriculum night?

Our school holds curriculum night at the same time for all grades. This makes it difficult for parents who have kids in different grades. A lot of schools offer two or more sessions so parents can be sure to make it each class. I’m sure this is time-consuming and repetitive for the teachers, but really nice for the parents.

So how can I be in two classes on once? How can I learn how third grade works and learn how Walsh’s teacher will handle her class, as well as let the parents in Walsh’s class know that I need a partner to be room mom with me?

Since we kind of know how first grade works, my plan is to send my B-string (my husband) to the first-grade class to represent and take notes for me, and I will attend the third grade meeting, since we don’t know anything about that class.

He’s “taken notes” for me before at other events and has come home with literally a blank sheet of paper and said it wasn’t very informative. If they spent two hours talking to you, surely there was something said important.

I know he can take quality notes – so far he’s never been sued for libel. However, he doesn’t seem to have an eye for the details a mother wants.

Is this a Michael thing or a man thing? Do men not interpret and perceive information the same as women? Is this a sex thing or a work-outside the home thing? Are they so consumed with business affairs that this seems like small potatoes to them so the details are inconsequential?

Do some men feel that way about their wives?

Last year Michael was out of town so I sent my mother to the kindergarten class, and she did an excellent job. She came home with multiple pages of notes and hit all the details I would want and need to know.  (I don’t want to hassle my mother this year with my brother still in the ICU!)

Just so Michael is clear, these are the details I need to know: What the kids will be covering, how the homework will be assigned and graded, when is the homework due, how the discipline in the class will work, how the class will operate  (will that have centers)? How will they challenge kids who are ahead in some facets?

UPDATE TO THIS STORY: After I finished writing this blog, I sat down to read through the newsletter from the school and for the first time in four years, they are holding the K through 2 curriculum night on a different night so I CAN attend both sessions personally! What a relief!

Despite this revelation, I still feel like this blog is relevant because I’ve had to send Michael before and will have to send him again. I really do want to know if this is a control thing on my part or do men just not perceive the information in the same manner as women?

69 comments Add your comment

WOW...

August 17th, 2009
7:26 am

…you are one controlling person (I would use another euphemism but this is a family oriented column). It’s the first grade, for crying out loud!!!!!!!

Andrea

August 17th, 2009
8:03 am

Theresa, I love you dearly, but this is not a Michael or a male problem -it seems this in only a YOU problem! I know it is hard to get someone to write the notes as you would but I can assure you, he will be able to get it right.

There are many single parents out there that would love to be able to have the other parent (or anyone else) take “bad” notes for him/her. Put this in the proper perspective.

notgonnagiveone

August 17th, 2009
8:07 am

Theresa,

Nice job of denigrating your husband there…B-Team? Or maybe you just meant to slam all husbands/men?

motherjanegoose

August 17th, 2009
8:15 am

Theresa….you know I love you but sometimes you do have to let go.

Do I agree that my husband ( who is not a journalist) might miss something OH YES; however, it is not the end of the world! Life goes on. There are probably things I have missed too.

I asked my husband to attend one parent teacher conference WITHOUT ME each year, when the kids were little. He obliged willingly. To me, it was a great time for the teacher to meet their Dad and on his terms…not just tagging along with me.

I always figured that since I trusted him to watch my son for 2 years WHILE I TAUGHT KINDERGARTEN EVERY DAY…he surely could handle the parent teacher conferences and he did. He also ate lunch with my daughter ALONE once a week when he was working four/ ten hour days. I laughed when he told me the names of all the other moms and very few dads or if we ran into women in the grocery story who said HELLO…they knew him from school.

I think it sends an important message to children that DAD is interested in their world, not just when they have to tag along with mom.

I LOVED THE DAD VOLUNTEER STORY ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE AJC August 14.
WATCH DOGS….Dads who are volunteering in schools. Wish more would do this!

My husband has attended numerous venues without me. He got a kick out of the principal at our kid’s elementary school once, as he was helping her clean up and telling some stories. She laughed and mentioned, “I’ll bet you were quite a character as a kid…” YES AND STILL IS.

This is not a happy thought but true…if something happens to you ( or me) they will have to figure things out and life will go on. Will everything be the way we would do it…no…oh well.

HUGS TO YOU!

Becky

August 17th, 2009
8:17 am

I don’t think that he would write the notes, but I could depend on him to tell me what was said..

Robin…if you are here today, the book of websites for kids that I mentioned last week, is written by Consumer Guide..If you are anyone is interested, I could email you some of the website addresses..

RJ

August 17th, 2009
8:21 am

My WOW Theresa is regarding some of the responses! I think it may be because you are the one that goes to most of the school meetings that you’re fearful that he won’t get the info that you need. Also, you know your husband. I love mine dearly, but I don’t think that he would sit and take notes either. He would expect the teachers to give it to him in a handout. And regarding it just being 1st grade, it’s just as important as 10th! My child was a class tutor for most of 1st grade because he was way ahead of everyone else. He was tested and placed in gifted, but with that being only one day a week, he spent the rest of the time “helping” everyone else. Make sure you guys ask these questions. I made suggestions to the teacher, as I had to do in pre-k and kindergarten because he was becoming a disrpution in class. Ask questions! It’s your kid!

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
8:32 am

A couple of ad ons — I am pretty much the only parent that deals with the school — every now and then Michael comes to school events but it is mostly me. He works pretty long hours and travels frequently for business — He was gone five days last week!!!

An old colleague — a male editor — sent me a note via facebook. He said he would have to go to curriculum nights because they had three kids and he knows he never took enough details down for his wife. His kids are all grown now.

A friend who just moved here told me this morning she was sending her husband tonight so he could meet the teacher and see the classroom. When she realized they were giving out information tonight she panicked and asked for a copy of my notes!!!

So I am controlling and I may be crazy but there are others out there too!!!

new mom

August 17th, 2009
8:32 am

Theresa, I would chalk it up to some of the differences between men and women. But I agree with some of the other comments–it’s really important for him to go, and maybe still ask Michael to attend the first grade one without you (even though you can now go). I would bet that it’s a matter of him, being a guy, thinking that what’s being said is common sense and not necessarily note-worthy. What if you jotted down a few things you want to know, such as the questions you listed, and asked him to fill in the blanks for you? Meanwhile you can take the other kids for ice cream and celebrate that you don’t have to attend everything! :)

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
8:34 am

new mom — when are you due??? I’m afraid we’ve missed the big date!

Jeff

August 17th, 2009
8:37 am

Theresa, you’re scarily sounding like my own T here! (NOT particularly a good thing, as I find it EXTREMELY denigrating).

Example: We were at an adoption orientation session last week (because we found out via the JAX trip a few weeks ago that apparently, I can’t create kids), and T was asking at LEAST 2-3 dozen substantive questions (as in, more than “can you repeat that?” type stuff) in a 1.5 hr training session! Me, I might have asked 2-3. It was literally to the point where the guy running the session commented that we make a good couple because of how laid-back I am.

new mom

August 17th, 2009
8:39 am

I’m at 35 weeks–due Sept. 18th. I’ll try to keep you guys updated when she arrives! But you know the first few weeks/months are a sleepless blur…

motherjanegoose

August 17th, 2009
8:39 am

Respectfully RJ…I do see your point but what if you were in the hospital had to be out of town for a family member or a meeting….life happens! What if you worked nights ( as some parents do)?

Having one in college and one now a senior, I am not certain that the first grade meeting is as important as 10th grade…maybe it is just me….others will perhaps give some more insight here and could perhaps validate that YES 1st grade is as important as high school…maybe a teacher can tell us. ( since I am not teaching now and never taught first grade, I will not hold my opinion to be the gospel truth).

I would think that things can be adjusted easier in 1st grade ( and farther into the school year) than in High School since you are nearer to the graduation point.

@Becky, sometimes I cannot even depend on my husband to remember what was said much less tell me …hahaha. I just have to realize that I cannot do everything and move on….

Guess what….some kids have NEITHER parent attending….THAT IS SO SAD.

headsup

August 17th, 2009
8:40 am

You may want to edit it from “liable” to libel.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
8:44 am

thank you heads up — will spell correctly now — typing fast will get you no where! thank you!

Jeff — I am so sorry about the baby making! I will say we know many, many couples that have adopted — some in a short time, some in a long time, but every time it was have been wonderful!! The kids are fantastic, the parents are fantastic. It’s all good and you will have a beautiful family!! Keep us posted on how that process goes. Also have we done tips from our community on adoption — have to look that up — maybe we should do that topic soon!

As far as the questions go — Michael just sent me down to add that he says the meetings go a lot faster without me in them because I always ask way toooo many questions. (So exactly like T)

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
8:46 am

some bad typing above also — I’ve got a 2 year old who needs a diaper change in my lap.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
8:51 am

Interesting blog today from the new Bargain Hunter — what baby products are a waste of money — Here’s the link.

http://blogs.ajc.com/atlanta-bargain-hunter/2009/08/17/waste-of-money-for-these-baby-products/

momtoAlex&Max

August 17th, 2009
9:01 am

I think it may have more to do with our need to be on top of something we consider our sphere of interest. As in Theresa’s household, mine is a lot the same way. I am the (mostly) stay at home parent, so I am way more involved in the shcool that my husband is.

We had to split up last year because curriculum night was the same for K and 2nd. He attended the K one, and he did take copious notes, but it wasn’t the same as ME being there. I feel like I missed out on some things. And that’s just MY issue. I need to be there becasuse *I* am the one that deals with school related things.

I am pretty certain that if I were to attend a work meeting on his behalf, it also wouldn’t be the same no matter how detailed my notes were. I just wouldn’t ask the same questions, just like he didn’t either.

Stan

August 17th, 2009
9:09 am

I’m very laid back most of the time. When I am getting information, I tend to listen well, but I take horrible notes. I am very much a “big picture” kinda guy. I don’t get too hung up on details. I think that is common among guys.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
9:20 am

MOmtoAlexandMax — I think it’s very fair to say I wouldn’t ask the same questions as he at his business meetings — he deals with stuff I wouldn’t even begin to understand. so it does cut both ways!!

Michelle

August 17th, 2009
9:23 am

Well, I think it’s “mostly” a man thing. They do not think and process things the same way we do! I like my hubby to go so that hopefully he will pick up on something that I miss. There are things I think are important that he doesn’t and vice versa! He thinks I make WAY too big a deal of some things, but that’s my perogative. I don’t think he makes a big a enough deal! Same goes for him! :)

If I couldn’t go, I would have to trust that he would get the details. If he didn’t, I would just e-mail the teachers and ask them myself (explaining that the hubby didn’t get all the info that I have to be “totally” informed!)

Jeff, hang in there! T is being a typical new mom, asking all the questions to get the answers she needs! I believe God will bring you guys a special package that will be more than you ever imagined possible!

Jesse's Girl

August 17th, 2009
9:26 am

I do not ask Jesse to do that kind of stuff….I am a control freak about it. I embrace my issues with it and try very hard to not put him in a position that will no doubt cause me to want to behead him:) He’s a bullet point kind of guy…I am a devils-in-the-details kind of gal. Case in point. One of best friends FINALLY found a girl he wants to marry. They recently became engaged and Jesse went out to lunch with him. When he came home I asked all these questions about the happy couple. Jesse had no answers AT ALL! They didn’t even discuss it he said! WHAT? Our 40 year old best bud finally snags a good one and you don’t even bring it up????!!! I had to call him myself. It was touched on above…..men and women have vastly differing opinions on what constitutes detail:)

Jeffery….my thoughts are with you. However, adoption is awesome and there are so many kids who need a good, loving, stable and Godly home!!!! Go get a baby!

nuke

August 17th, 2009
9:41 am

omg I can’t believe I’m reading this. Do you think our grandparents worried about a 1st grade curriculum? Or their parents? Remember these are the folks who asked nothing for themselves and gave all for their country. The downfall of this country is going to be due in part to over bearing helicopter parents. Say all you want about being involved in your child’s needs; sometimes lack of involvement is what builds character.

[...] Theresa Walsh Giarrusso wrote an interesting post today onCan Dad be trusted to take <b>notes</b> on curriculum night? | A Blog for <b>…</b>Here’s a quick excerpt [...]

HB

August 17th, 2009
10:14 am

I’m just curious as I’ve never been to a curriculum meeting — do they really give all that many important details orally that aren’t written down somewhere? Things like how things are graded, when hw is due, discipline procedure, etc — there’s not a typed up syllabus-like document that is handed out (or emailed on request)?

I do understand you wanting to pop in to introduce yourself as room mom and let people know you need a partner. Could you ask the teacher if you could make a super quick announcement at the beginning of the session and then dart back down to the 3rd grade room (maybe explain to the 3rd grade teacher you’ll be a few minutes late and even leave some of your stuff in a seat by the door ahead of time so that you can slip in quietly)?

DB

August 17th, 2009
10:29 am

Theresa, repeat after me: “Michael is their father. He cares about their well-being. All will be well.”

After 15 years of K-12 for my two kids, I can tell you right now that it doesn’t matter how many notes you take on curriculum night, how attentive you are, and how charming you are to the teacher, or how many volunteer slots you sign up for. The teacher is going to make her judgements based on her knowledge of WALSH, not how well you took notes on curriculum night! You will be getting LOTS of notices, emails and reminders throughout the year (mostly because the teachers suspect that the parents aren’t all that smart and know that a large percentage of the parents weren’t paying attention or lost their notes.) If you have a question, email the teacher. As a matter of fact, I rather suspect that the parents who are taking copious notes and asking a zillion questions are pegged by the teachers as the “potential troublemakers”. :-) If you’re worried about not being able to sign up to help with the Winter Holiday Party (or whatever in the heck they call the Christmas party these days), then give Michael specific instructions on what to sign you up for. Or email the teacher ahead of time and ask her to put your name where you want to volunteer.

You have a school calendar. You’re smart. Your kids are smart. You’ve BEEN through the 1st grade at least twice (once on your own, once with your daughter.) Nothing much has changed — they will learn to spell “CAT” and “DOOR”, they will start to learn to add 2+2, and life will go on.

Michael may do it differently — but that doesn’t mean that he does it WORSE. It’s just DIFFERENT. Please give him credit for having a brain and the ability to identify salient points and passing them on — as you noted, he does this for a living. He’ll pick up the notes, introduce himself to the teacher, smile, and bring the notes home. A week from now, the teacher won’t recognize him in a group, and he might have trouble picking her out of a crowd (unless she’s really hot! :-) IT WILL BE FINE. Honest. The idea is that Walsh will learn to be an independent little guy and you don’t need to drag his butt through first grade kicking and screaming, reviewing every bit of work he does, and reminding him every other hour of what he needs to do.

Walsh, Rose and the baby are lucky — They has two parents who love them and want them to succeed. Please — take a deep breath. This is not Michael’s problem — this is YOUR problem. Is that the whirr of a helicopter I’m hearing? :-)

FCM

August 17th, 2009
10:34 am

Theresa, luv ya but let Michael go to whichever….it really doesn’t matter who deals with the school more etc…..Michael is an adult and he will get it. Besides, since you are active at the school, handy with email etc you can always talk to the teacher later…

I on the other hand have been to 2 1st grad Cirric Nights and want to skip this year. Makes me rotten mom of the year right?

JJ

August 17th, 2009
10:40 am

No more cirriculum nights for me!!!! I took my baby to college yesterday…….that was probably the most hysterical thing I have ever seen. I wished I had a video camera……..

motherjanegoose

August 17th, 2009
11:02 am

JJ….hope you have a great week…I know it will be tough but know that your daughter is entering a exciting chapter in her life.

DB, well said….still waiting for you e-mail.

motherjanegoose

August 17th, 2009
12:03 pm

@ DB….yes teachers quickly get the parent’s number and know who needs to be reminded.
Some parents ( not pointing ANY fingers here and I truly mean it) are NUTS.

Here is an example:

Over 20 years ago, I was teaching Kinder and sent a note home asking parents to send in a half gallon milk carton that was rinsed out, for a class project. This is when they were still square and not the plastic jugs like we have now….kinda like orange juice but that is not how orange juice came back then. I had 18 students and was allowing 2 weeks to get enough cartons back into the classroom.

I get a note from a mother, “Perhaps you and your husband drink milk in a half gallon container but most families do not. I am wondering if you should just bring these in for the class as we do not use that kind of milk carton.”

OH YEAH, WE CAN EASILY DRINK 18 HALF GALLONS IN TWO WEEKS….

Good thing that child was pleasant and bright…I overlooked the DUMB comment from her mother!

b

August 17th, 2009
12:36 pm

I am the one who does the majority of the school stuff, but I have made a habit of getting my husband to attend some of the school functions. Orientation night is one of those he has done on his own, as well as conferences. I usually have a list of questions that I give him and he is pretty good about getting the answers – whether he just remembers or writes them down. That way there is no “miscommunication” about what was to be gained from the conference or meeting.

He is not totally going in blind as we have numerous conversations about school as our youngest has learning disabilities and he almost always goes to the psychologist evaluations. I like to send him to orientation because I have already been to the “open house” where you find out the teacher, etc. This is his turn to locate the classrooms and meet the teachers. I never really found all that much information is given out at orientation that I didn’t already know or that isn’t repeated numerous times. Even for this freshman year, orientation didn’t really cover anything we didn’t already know, have paperwork about, or had received in an email. It did give me a chance to walk around the school a bit, meet the new teachers, but otherwise it was mostly a walk-through.

Photius

August 17th, 2009
12:40 pm

I think Theresa is funny, and probably right. Moms are more in tune with school stuff, working with teachers and I think the guy just doesn’t pack the gear. I think my wife would write the exact same thing – it’s funny and true!

Jess

August 17th, 2009
1:04 pm

Hmmm, can Dad be trusted, lets see. It all depends on how much of a contol freak Mom is.

Annie

August 17th, 2009
1:39 pm

It seems to me that there’s a pattern emerging here Theresa; you have absolutely no faith when it comes to your husband’s ability to raise his children. If I’m with someone who insists on doing stuff rather than have me do it because they do it sooooo much better, I’m just going to let them do it all. And when Michael starts doing that to you and you end up doing everything, as it surely will, don’t start complaining about it on here.

New Step Mom

August 17th, 2009
2:11 pm

Theresa, I feel your pain. My husband is a doll. He cleans dishes. He waited on me for 5 weeks when I had surgery in May. He will make up the bed. He is a good dad. But this is the first year he will even go to orientation since his divorce because he does not think the same way a “mom” does. It is even in his Meyers Briggs assessment that he can handle multiple difficult tasks at work, but at home he is often focused on “fun” (not the word they used) rather than being focused on home tasks. He did not even know the school’s website had all of the forms and calendars available for download until I found them. We had several homework issues last year until I found Edline. It is not that he does not care about his kid or that he is a doofus, he just does not think the same way.

We will go this year together to his daughter’s orientation and when we have children and have to split classrooms, I will likely send a list of questions. May be horrible, but it is the way our family works.

Joyce

August 17th, 2009
2:14 pm

Just send a list of the most important stuff you want Michael to get and let the rest go! That’s why God made email…

Jesse's Girl

August 17th, 2009
2:14 pm

JJ…girl, I have been praying for you and your sweetness!!! Do tell about the funniness…I could use a good chuckle!

jack5656

August 17th, 2009
2:58 pm

I don’t really know who’s right or wrong in this topic, but I do know that if I started a blog and told the world how great my wife was, then ripped into the parts of her that I find her to be a complete failure and pontificated as to whether or not it was really her fault or just because she was a silly girl with silly girl things that distracted her from the really important things in life (aka the things that I think are important), I know she would be pretty hurt. Which is why I wouldn’t slam my wife for the world to see in the first place.

So here’s a related question….do women think their otherwise great guys deserve to be bashed to their friends (and in this case, the viewing public)? Do wives who notice things about their husbands they don’t like feel like its ok to share that with anyone and everyone? At the end of the day, if those actions hurt their husbands feelings do women just feel like that kind of emotional, female like sensitivity, would be another item on the list of their husbands shortcomings…you know not being manly enough to take this kind of public shaming?

I guess the question I would most like to know the answer to is this:

Just because we have the technological ability to share with others our deepest and most private thoughts regardless of who may be hurt by it, does that mean we should?

I believe this topic should have been a private conversation with Michael. That’s the kind of courtesy and kindness I would have hoped for from my spouse.

pd

August 17th, 2009
3:12 pm

I trust my wife to take the car to the mechanic.

She trusts me to take notes at curriculum night.

My son is also in the 1st grade. Since my wife is a teacher, I am much more likely to attend school functions. Also, I drive 45 minutes out of my way every day to take him to school and speak with his teacher casually every single morning.

My concern is that the curriculum thus far is not challenging for him. He can already read, so the little reader books they are giving him are not helping. At this point, he can already read the newspaper, so “See spot run” isn’t helping.

Although, I am not going to complain to the teacher. I know she has others to teach that may not be able to read.

jack5656

August 17th, 2009
3:17 pm

I just can’t let it go…here is another question I’m curious about:

Do you think there is anything to the theory that guys marry women who will take over where their mothers left off?

motherjanegoose

August 17th, 2009
3:31 pm

@pd…your post is a good one. I researched and paid for my car myself but I HATE to take it to the mechanic….I feel like they think I am an idiot and will do anything possible to charge me more. Not to mention that I meanly negotiate buying a car and have had most salesmen tell me there is no way in the world they can give a car away for the insulting price I am willing to pay….only to call me back and say, “yes, things can be worked out….” THIS HAS HAPPENED MORE THAN ONCE TO ME.

Once we had someone tell us, “If someone will sell you a car for that price…buy it….no one will…”
They called back a week later to see if we were still interested and we told them that we took their advice and bought a car from a dealership who was interested in our price. My husband and I STILL laugh at that incident.

Maybe it is just me. I always request my husband to handle mechanics and that is sexist, I know.

Our son was reading the newspaper in Kindergarten and his Preschool teacher sat him in the back of the room as he would correct her if she was reading a class BIG BOOK and missed a word.
She told me she had to do this and we had a chuckle and talk about it.

I am thinking your son may need to opt for something a little more challenging. Just mention it to the teacher and tell her that you respect her instincts…you will get back with her in 4 weeks to see what she thinks. By this time, she should have a firm handle on what level your son is at.

@ jack…yes!

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
3:32 pm

Hey Jack5656 — I told Michael the topic idea on Saturday. He stood behind me and edited my words as I wrote it on Sunday. He has now responded to my Facebook posting on the topic defending himself — I am surprised he didn’t respond here.

Here is part of what he wrote on Facebook — I agree with his assessment for the most part (I’m not sure it gets to the complete root but I agree that he believes school meetings are often inefficient and waste time.) —

“This isn’t about male vs. female brains, or working parents and stay-at-home parents treating school differently. Theresa’s fear of me not getting enough information is based on her belief that every detail is important.”

“I’m not a transcriber. I would not go to a meeting and simply write down everything like her mother did. I would give her everything essential. And, because many school meetings are inefficient, often that would be very little.”

I do want every details and he is big picture, broad strokes, quick in and out. He is much more efficient than I am.

jack5656

August 17th, 2009
3:46 pm

fair enough Theresa. I wasn’t aware that you two had the whole Mary Matalin/James Carville thing going on. My apologies.

IMHO though, in response to your question “is this a control thing on my part”…my answer is a resounding YES. I’ve read your blog archives and come to the conclusion you’re a TOTAL control freak.

Admittedly, I don’t know you other than your writings, so I am probably wrong, but when I read your blog persona, I’m always reminded of that scene in “Terms of Endearment” when Jack Nicholson’s character takes Shirley McClain out to their first lunch and things are spinning out of control for her and it really upsets her and Jack asks “Aurora…you wouldn’t happen to be any fun, would you?” Not that you’re Aurora, but it seems to me that you might have the tendency to let the little things you can’t control get in the way of allowing yourself to just hang out and “be”.

jack5656

August 17th, 2009
3:49 pm

I am curious about a couple other things.

1. Has Michael ever asked you to not blog on your relationship with him and, if so, how did you react?
2. Has Michael ever vented on facebook or some other blog something about you that drives him NUTS and how did that make you feel?

JJ

August 17th, 2009
3:56 pm

Jessie’s Girl…….let’s see if I can condense some of the stuff I saw yesterday. Although I must say, it was very organized and there were plenty of staffers who were ready to answer questions, and guide the masses.

Other than a ton of Mom’s crying……..let’s see, one girl was unloading 4 huge plastic storage boxes (think Christmas decoration storage) FULL of shoes. There must have been 100 pair of shoes, in every color. I have NO clue where she was going to put them all.

Three boys were carrying a 36 in flat panel tv up two flights of stairs……..I had to ask what room THAT was going into, then promptly told my daughter to go make friends with who ever it was……

Carpets, bookshelves, posters, suitcases, boxes, tv’s, printers, decorations….etc…..

And OH MY GOD the price of the books they need. We had $500 and that barely covered the cost. She still needs to buy two more books, for about $250. All the used ones were already sold (of course), and we didn’t have enough information or time to buy any on line. We learned that lesson quickly.

Classes start tomorrow for her, so we got the books for those classes. She will buy the rest of the books tomorrow, after I transfer some money into that account.

I will say this, if you have kids and you want them to go to college, get started on saving for the 529 plan NOW!!!!! My mom started about 4 years ago, and she has enough in her plan to get my daughter through her first year of school, books included.

Total cost, so far for this first year of college is close to $9,000 (room & board, tuition, books and meals). And this is a SMALL college. GA Southern was about $3,000 more a year.

Becky

August 17th, 2009
4:16 pm

JJ, laughing at your post..I have a coworker that spent 3 days moving her daughter into her dorm..Then came into work today and shipped her out a hugh baox of stuff..Today was her first day and they have talked 5 times today..

jack5656, my ex was that way with me..He thought it was funny to make me the laughing joke with his friends, but heaven forbid if I said something dumb or funny about something that he had done..Lost my purse once and in front of about 8-9 people, he informed me that that was
the dumbest thing that anyone could ever do..He just went on and on..Three weeks later his friends wife lost her wallet..That was ok..This is just one among many reasons that he’s my ex now..Not only ex, but has had 2-3 divorces since ours..

FCM

August 17th, 2009
4:35 pm

“Do you think there is anything to the theory that guys marry women who will take over where their mothers left off?” If my marriage and my dates are an indication: YES! I asked my Grandmother why she didn’t marry after my Grandfather died (she lived 32 years a widow)…she said “I am too old to raise another one!”

As to my dates: I have often said I am the g/f he dated right before he married. The one who helps him get ‘raised’ so he is ready for that lasting commitment. When the heck will find one that commits to me?????

“And, because many school meetings are inefficient, often that would be very little.” I will give you an Amen and an Alleluia to that Michael!

jack5656

August 17th, 2009
4:53 pm

FCM…so by being the one who helps your date get raised are you acting like their moms or being so un-mom like that they don’t need someone doing the motherly things for them anymore?

DB

August 17th, 2009
5:02 pm

JJ: I was SOOO grateful my daughter was able to move into the dorm two days early! She’s in a dorm with 800 other girls, and only 25 moved in last Monday. We basically had the whole wing of her hall to ourselves to “stage” move-in. Her roommate, who didn’t move in until this weekend, was nice enough to come on Monday, too, and bring stuff like the rug, the refrigerator and the futon (the big, clunky stuff). We basically had the entire dorm to ourselves — no waiting for elevators, etc. She called me the next day and was aghast at the number of people moving in. Apparently, out of 800 girls, 600 of them were moving in a day early for rush . . . ! There was a line of 200 girls stretching around the lobby and out into the parking lot at 7:50 a.m. — omigod!!! My daughter was VERY happy that she was already moved in and settled. By the time she got back after 10 pm that evening, it was complete and utter chaos, and all those girls had to be dressed and ready to go for rush breakfast at 6 AM!!!! She said that in one room that she knows of, the mom spent the night in the dorm to “help” her daughter move in. Sheesh. We only had a narrow window to move in — we couldn’t move in until 2 pm, but we were basically finished by 5:30 pm — and that included laying the rug, hanging pictures, putting up the curtains, assembling the shelves and getting my son to hook up the TV and the DVD. Becky, I can’t imagine why someone would need THREE DAYS to move their child in. That’s insane.

Theresa Walsh Giarrusso

August 17th, 2009
5:05 pm

Jack5656 — Yes, I am learning I have a slight control issue. That’s how you guys help me!

Michael I think always knows ahead of time when I’m going to write about him. When we did that 90 days of sex story or month of sex or whatever that was he asked me to please not write about how frequently we have sex so I interviewed friends and labeled them A,B, C — He has actually filled in for me before on the column when I had our third baby. I think he may have vented some but I had just had a baby so i think he was more gentle than he would have normally been. I will often write his response or his defense on here — just like this morning Michael told me to write that the meetings go faster when I’m not there asking dumb questions.

The column and blog will be 5 years old in October so he’s had several years to adjust to it. He does take a beating at work and one of his co-workers in particular came on facebook this morning and defended him!

I’m not trying to hurt his feelings. I think in this case most people agreed with him and decided I’m a control freak.

FCM

August 17th, 2009
5:07 pm

I have not yet figured out how I find them/what it is I do (right or wrong)…..I only know that I have been proposed to at least 4 times, married once, and after each of those and I went our different paths (with me being the one to break it off) they go on to the next relationship and stay in it….albeit they have all come back and said “I didn’t treat you right, you were right to leave me. I should have made more time for you. I should have at least attempted to go to do the things you liked.” I mean ALL of them (even the married ones!) have come back to say that….with NOTHING done on my side to contact them.