Comments on: What to do when kids lie?

By: Lana

Lana — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:55:46 +0000

This blog is helping me to realize I need to craft strategies in advance to deal with my 9 year old’s recent spate of lying. Just this morning, he attempted to take his little brother’s Nintendo DS in his backpack to summer camp and lied he lied about it being in the backpack. Our rule is no electronics taken to school. He tried this earlier in the summer and lost his Nintendo DS privileges, which is why he took his brother’s. I was so angry. I lectured and his eyes welled up. I took the backpack and denied him the right to take any of the items in the backpack to summer camp, even the unobjectionable ones. I asked the camp counselor if he could stay back at the camp building today while the other kids went on a field trip to Chuck E Cheese. The counselor said there would be no one in the building so he must go. I was devising other punishments in my head but after reading this blog, I think I’ll take a different approach. More than anything, I want him to understand that he destroys trust everytime he lies.

By: Parent of a teenager

Parent of a teenager — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 15:35:48 +0000

I have a 17 y/o daughter…so punishment will be easy because there’s a lot she’s into. Well, this last lying occasion really made me mad! She told me she was scheduled to work but I later found out she wasn’t by simply calling her job to tell her to lock her doors before getting gas if she needed to. Well, to my dismay she decided to pick up her friends and hang out since she wasn’t working. She didn’t answer her phone until I texted her and told her I called her job. She instantly called back and stated it was a spare of the moment thing. She probably wouldn’t have gotten punished if she wouldn’t have lied about going to work and if she would have called. My husband took the car from her for the rest of the summer. I hope she has learned her lesson! But it feels like I am on the punishment…I have to now run her around to work and to friends house. This punishment was good for her age because it’s killing her not to be able to drive!

By: catlady

catlady — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 18:59:52 +0000

This doesn’t exactly fit into the “lie” category, but when I went back to grad school (as a single parent) my children were 3, 8, and 12 years old. My son, aged 8, took his teacher aside and told her, “Now, you don’t need to be expecting me to do any homework this year, because now that my mom is back in graduate school I have to do all the housework.” After she reported this to me, he found out a great deal about how many more home chores were available for his free time AFTER he did his homework!

By: FCM

FCM — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:52:37 +0000

OH my eldest asked her Dad a straightfoward question. He gave her an answer I knew to be a lie….She called me when she found out the truth and said it was a naughty trick, he had lied to her etc.

Then when she got home she gave me a hug and said “thank you for telling me the truth, even when I don’t like the answer.” What I found was to punish the lie &/or offense but to continue to be truthful to them and hold to what I promise.

Over the long haul they have learned they can depend on me to mean what I say and do what I promise. (That includes removing them from restaurants, cancelling outtings, in addition to the ‘good things’). I prefer to model the behavior I want to see.

By: FCM

FCM — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 16:41:56 +0000

I cannot get into today’s topic either….but my eldest started guitar at age 7. This year she wants to move to another instrument and play in Orchestra.

As to the lying topic (this page)well….that can be a tough one. There is the tried and true soap in the mouth I suppose. UGH UGH UGH. Mine usually respond well to no tv,movies,computer, music, or Nintendo.

By: jct

jct — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:59:16 +0000

I cannot get into todays topic either.

By: Joyce

Joyce — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:54:14 +0000

I can’t access it either.

By: yep...

yep... — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 13:40:30 +0000

…Theresa, get this fixed already!

By: Stan

Stan — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:54:34 +0000

Nope…I can’t see todays topic either. :(

By: TKH

TKH — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 12:46:23 +0000

I can’t open it either, MomsRule.

Theresa, is there something wrong on the AJC’s end or is it us?