Comments on: Are you hiding money from your hubby?

By: Collette

Collette — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 15:24:33 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 12yrs and have 4 kids together and I have 1 from a previous marriage. I’m a stay at home mom. He told me since he works and brings in the income that he should handle the bills. I have no say whatsoever. He gives me some money for groceries and gas to last 2 weeks….like an allowance. He stashes his money at work. I keep asking him why he stashes the money at work and he gets mad about it because he thinks I’m trying to control him and if I don’t have the money in my hands I go off the deep in. He has had to go into work to get money on a few emergencies cause we needed the extra money that he has there. We live about an hour from his job. In the past 2yrs he has cheated on me 5 times and the last one was an 18yr old and he is 45yrs old. He has lied to me several times. I don’t know if he is really going to work or it’s just an excuse. I don’t know what I’m suppose to do. Even his sister who I hate told me that who ever brings in the income should pay the bills etc.

By: cbc

cbc — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 20:25:12 +0000

I’ve told my married daughter that if she is smart that she will keep her savings account in her name and keep putting money into it. I’m not telling her she has to keep it hidden from her husband. But I think every woman needs her own money, that way she has the choice to be married because she wants to be married and not be married because she can’t afford to leave. This is based on experience and all the things I have seen married people go though over the years. Back when I was a young bride with stars in my eyes I probably would have thought it wrong to have different accounts also. But now it’s 30 years later and reality has set in.

By: Squirrel

Squirrel — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 01:07:00 +0000

Cool,I have found a place where I can share & be honest.
I have just started squirrelling away money. I do it to save a marriage.
My hubby loves to horde money as well. Feels secure with savings.
He lets me do the budgeting & have some control yet hates me giving & checks the accounts all the time.
Last year we refinanced & the pay out money was in my name. As I don’t work I forgot the value of money & spent the $40,000 on courses,health retreat,things for others,my kids,a cruise for parents. The money went!
So now I have this big bill to pay & can’t tell him as he values honesty
& it would ruin the marriage. I want us to stay together as he has lots of good attributes. So now I am learning debt management. I take extra cash out when getting petrol,or anywhwere that offers the cash out option. I redirected child payments to my account.He doesn’t notice as I still put a smaller payment in the joint account.I Have a PO Box where my mail goes.

Im given $250 a week cash for groceries. I can feed the family 3 nutritious meals a day for $150. So I put the rest to debt reduction.
The kids don’t miss out.
I don’t feel bad as I am now handling money better than before.The fright of it has shaken me up. I have a goal. I now have a part time job which I would not have got before. I can pay the debt in 2 years then I can put what I save onto the car,the mortgage & be totally debt free in less than 7 years. Then we can all benefit from my mistake!!

So I’m not doing it to buy luxuries. It is for a purpose. So far I have paid off over $4000 in a few months.
I now enjoy what I am doing,have learnt new skills, and am very thrifty!! I will keep you informed of progress.

By: xavier&jaydens mom

xavier&jaydens mom — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 21:02:09 +0000

jj- I got home before he did on yesterday and the statement was in the mail! I should not have to pay for the mistakes of his ex! I am not her! All of what I am, and all of what I have goes into our household- money, time, care giving, everything! This is the ultimate slap in the face! We were already having major issues- this is just too much! I really see this as the beginning of the end.

By: JJ

JJ — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:10:43 +0000

X&J’s Mom – Don’t get me wrong here, but could it be he has a secret account because he has already been divorced once before and the ex got everything????? So maybe he’s protecting himself…ya know?

By: JJ

JJ — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:09:32 +0000

X&J’s mom – How did you find out?????

DB – BOTH!!!! But they may be tears of joy???? LOL

By: DB

DB — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:57:50 +0000

Will it be “happy” hour, or “tear-filled” hour?! heheh!

By: xavier&jaydens mom

xavier&jaydens mom — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 15:50:14 +0000

I am experiencing this right now! I have no idea how to deal with this. I just found out on yesterday my husband has a separate account with $18,000 in it….and he did not feel the need to discuss it with me.

By: JJ

JJ — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:14 +0000

OK, happy hour party officially starts on August 17……

By: nurse&mother

nurse&mother — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 05:11:39 +0000

I apologize as I did not have time to read all posts today or all week (been out of town with no access to internet).

No way would I squirrel away money secretly. My husband and I have seperate accounts and we love it. We divvy up responsibilities. We’ve never had problems with fighting over money. It may not work for others, but it works wonderfully for us.