(Editor’s Note: My brother is doing better but is still critical and in ICU. They were able to take out the balloon pump in his heart and his new heart is pumping on its own! They are hoping to take out the ventilator soon — another major step! My throat is sore so I wasn’t able to see him last night. I can’t decide if I have a cold or if it’s from sleeping under a vent in the hospital waiting room for several nights. I’m hoping I can see him today! He should be more aware and less drugged up! I appreciate all our community pitching in during this time of crisis.)
Our guest blogger today is DB, and she sent in a great one! Here’s what she wrote:
Well, I’ve reached that stage of my life where my children are young adults. I’m less of a “mom” and more of a “life coach on call.” I am sending my youngest, my daughter, off to college in six weeks, and at that point, I will not have anyone to shake out of bed in the morning, no one to fix breakfast for, no laundry to sort, no Scout projects to cheer on, no school band concerts to attend, no school memos to read and no eyeing of the clock to check when they will be home for the evening.
She will be launched on her way to full adulthood, free to determine the direction of her own life — and free to make the same mistakes we all did at that age. I don’t worry about her — well, not much! — and having already been through this with my son, who will be a college junior next year, I’m feeling pretty confident of her ability to find her way.
However, I find myself looking back at this period of my life — as the new mom of an infant, growing right along with them to the mother of young adults — and I wish there were a few things I had done a little differently:
1. I would not have obsessed over organic, homemade baby food. The entire family still laughs at my pathetic homemade organic birthday cake for my son’s first birthday, an apple cake with cream cheese frosting that could have doubled as a doorstop. Subsequent cakes were lavish with icing!
2. I would have finished my daughter’s baby book.
3. I would have kept up the scrapbooks, and not been so obsessed with perfection that the scrapbooks were never made at all. (It still remains a prospective project, though — I am nothing if not optimistic!)
4. More giggling. My husband ended up being “the fun one,” and I always envied his spirit of fun and playfulness.
5. I wish I had worked harder to help my kids develop a relationship with my parents, who live far away and aren’t a big part of their life. Time is growing short, and I’m sorry my kids don’t have the same kind of relationship with my parents that I did with my grandparents.
6. I wouldn’t have obsessed so much about my kid’s school progress in 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade. I now realize that development is all over the board in those years. They did just fine, and have the scholarships to prove it.
7. I would have encouraged more family service projects. They did many through church, but as a family, not so much. We all seem to do our own thing with our own volunteer interests, but we missed something, a certain esprit de corps by not volunteering as a family.
8. I would have gotten a dog much earlier!
No matter what stage of parenthood you’re at, I think we all look back, think about what we’ve learned, and wish we had done some things differently. What are some things you wish you had done differently?