Comments on: Want Dad more involved with kids? Then Mom has to back off

By: catlady

catlady — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 17:57:50 +0000

I agree that the presumption that the dad is not the best person to be the custodial parent is outdated and morally (and should be legally) wrong. Sometimes it is a dead heat to see who can be the worst for the child–mom or dad! As a teacher, I have seen a lot of really, really bad custodial moms.

By: JJ

JJ — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 16:47:23 +0000

Stookie, my brother gets his kids EVERY OTHER WEEK, one week on, one week off. When they are with his ex, he gets them for dinner one night a week. If he has the kids that week, she gets a dinner night with the kids. If your kids are older than 13, they can decide what they want. But, unfortunately, you do have to go to court.

Yes it costs money to go to court, but if you REALLY want more time, then find a good lawyer who will listen to you. You can fight for more time.

Also, you can revise your child support/custody arrangements every two years.

By: Jeff

Jeff — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:40:00 +0000

Yeah, T and I are going to have an interesting time with this. While we’re both pretty well on the same page in the big picture, our strategies are different. She’s all into being **EXTREMELY** polite and things have to APPEAR to be ‘just so’. I’m much more into reality and if something isn’t ‘just so’ I have no problems with people knowing that. Am I going to broadcast it? No. But if it comes up or if they come to the house and see something, I’m not going to act like it isn’t there.

She wants the kids to be nice and never think about ‘bad’ things. I’d rather the kids be able to handle the ‘bad’ things as much as their development will allow. (For example, I don’t expect a 6yo to be able to escape/defeat a 250lb adult male. But I DO expect said 6yo to use those lungs/vocal cords to yell as long and loud as they possibly can if said 250lb adult male tries to do something to them.)

By: Stookie

Stookie — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 14:33:22 +0000

SD, i am feeling you. It is so biased towards the mother, that if you have an angry ex, she can basically keep the kids from you as long as she is following the parenting plan. I get my kids only twice a week (more then standard b/c I fought her on it). How can i be a father to my 2 boys on 28 hours a week? I constantly ask for more time (sleepovers during the week no that they are out of school, dinners for a couple hours, picking them up for school a couple times a week) but she denies me because she knows that is the only way she can hurt me. I gave up everything to not be with her and only fought her for more time with the kids, but still she says i am selfish. Can i go back to the courts? I don’t have the money to and even if i did, they wouldn’t change anything. Fathers are parents too but the courts don’t feel that way.

By: JJ

JJ — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 12:07:44 +0000

I did go get the kid. Gramma was “BAKED” when I got there, at 4:15. She couldn’t get an entire sentence out of her mouth, and she was stumbling all over the place….

I met up with my friend and dropped her kid off. So sad..

I would do it again in a heartbeat. That’s what friends are for.

By: annoyed

annoyed — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 01:51:28 +0000

wake up, google, cut paste, submit (maybe I should have spell checked that)

Hey guys, I’m totally gonna copy a story tomorrow about shawn cassidy, I totally like promise.

And they cut Jim Wooten back?

By: catlady

catlady — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 22:12:41 +0000

I would go to get the girl, with the understanding that Mama needs to be on her way to meet me at my workplace. And Mama should tell me what her plans are from now on re her child, since Grandma is out of consideration now. I would certainly press her for what her thinking is about her childcare. Obviously the current situation is a no-go. She doesn’t have to tell me, but I should give her every chance to brainstorm her options.

My ex-husband’s wife has me as one of the people who can pick up their son in case of emergency. Of course, I work 30 minutes from his school and she stays home and sleeps and drinks. But if I was called, I would go and ask questions or raise h afterward.

How did Mama find out Grandma was drunk? Did the girl call her?

By: motherjanegoose

motherjanegoose — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:55:04 +0000

Not sure if I have ever shared this story…

When our son was a baby, he was having a truly fussy afternoon. Neither my husband nor myself knew what to do with him. We had both tried everything and nothing was working. I am certain our frustration could be heard well out into our yard as the windows were open and we were venting on each other as to what should or could be done.

The doorbell rings….we look at each other and wonder who it is…our dear neighbor Nelda ( then about 45 ish) who announces…

” you two need to calm down or the baby will never stop crying….give him to me and catch your breath…”

We were amazed, she brought him back in 30 minutes and he was FINE. Proof that sometimes NEITHER parent knows what to do AND some neighbors are really angels….LOL. A fond memory of a terrific neighbor!

By: sd

sd — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:25:07 +0000

JJ, I’d go get the kid right away.

By: Jen

Jen — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 20:04:11 +0000

“The Truth
June 18th, 2009
3:22 pm

Jen – If a man watches the kids he is babysitting because it is the permament job of the mother to care for the kids.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, like you actually believe that. Like it’s not totally true you’re just fishing here. Like it’s not obvious to everyone on the planet with a minimum of ZERO brain cells.