We don’t actually know if Jon cheated on Kate but people sure have been outraged about him talking in several bars with a young woman and driving off with her. (US Weekly has a whole photo gallery devoted to their interaction.)
All the uproar has made me wonder: What types of behavior with the opposite sex are acceptable after marriage?
Is it OK for a husband to hang out at a bar with friends that are women?
Is it OK for women to talk on the phone to other men? What about to old boyfriends?
Is it OK to have dinner alone with a co-worker or friend who is the opposite sex? (Or does it depend on the person?)
Is it OK to visit the hotel room of the opposite sex on a business trip? (I’m thinking no on this one. It’s called the lobby – go to it!)
Is it OK to be alone in your house with a person of the opposite sex? Be in the office late alone?
Which social scenarios are acceptable and which are taboo?
A few months back a friend got a call from another woman asking her to come over because a male friend was dropping by to pick up something. I believe she had promised her husband that she wouldn’t be alone in the house with another man. That seemed a bit extreme to me.
There are tons of male friends that I would feel perfectly comfortable being alone with in my house. I don’t think I would let anyone spend the night if Michael wasn’t at home (unless there was some type of emergency – house hit by hurricane).
I did have one occasion where I was taking care of a friend’s child and the dad stopped by to pick up the child and ended up staying for dinner. It was a little bit awkward but mainly because I didn’t know him all that well. I think if we had been better friends it would have been completely fine. Plus there were four kids in the house. (Does that change the scenario?)
We also had an old friend visit us several years ago from out of town. He was at the house for several hours alone with me just visiting before Michael got home from work, and I don’t think either one of us thought much about it.
There is one friend of ours that I wouldn’t want to be left alone with mainly because I don’t trust him. I don’t think I’m hot stuff, I just think this guy is a little bit swarmy.
And I can only think of one woman that I would have a problem with Michael being out with alone. It’s not that I don’t trust Michael, but I think she’s a bit messed up right now and is a bit assertive and those two characteristics don’t go well together. I also don’t think she has much respect for marriage in general. I think just because my husband is a married man wouldn’t stop her from making advances.
What about you? Do you and your spouse have any verbalized rules about what type of behavior with the opposite sex it allowed? Any non-verbal rules? Has there ever been an issue with one of you being alone at a restaurant, bar, hotel with the opposite sex? What about in a car, out to dinner, or at home?
What types of social interactions are acceptable with the opposite sex after you are married?