Do you kiss your spouse goodbye every morning?
I was talking to a friend one morning on the phone when my husband left for work. She was aghast that I didn’t kiss him goodbye. I did stop talking to her to say to him “I love you. Have a great day.”
I realized that I rarely kiss him goodbye in the morning, but I do always say “I love you and have a great day.” I think when I worked downtown with him and we drove in together, we kissed goodbye on the street. I am wondering if I don’t kiss him goodbye in the morning because I am rarely out of my pj’s when he leaves and haven’t brushed my teeth yet. (That’s the reason I’m going with!)
What about you? Do you make a point to kiss your spouse goodbye every morning? Why do you make it a point? What do you think it signifies if you do or if you don’t?
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91 comments Add your comment
Meme
April 24th, 2009
4:01 pm
I would never think of leaving or his leaving without a hug and kiss and the exchange of I Love You even if it is just up the street to the store. As others have said, I do not ever want to take the chance of having to wish that I had done so one last time. If one of us starts to leave and has to go back past the other for some reason we will kiss again and say I love you, and we always say be careful and I will miss you today. I think it is very important to always let the ones you love know that you love them.
April
April 24th, 2009
4:08 pm
My boyfriend and I give goodbye kisses every single time one of leaves the house no matter what, even if one of us is sound asleep… He’s a firefighter and works 24 hours on shift, 48 hours off shift so this can make it a little tough but when he’s on shift I make sure I stop by the station if I can to get that kiss. I agree with motherjanegoose, I don’t know what I would do if something happened and I didn’t get that last kiss . . .
Karen
April 24th, 2009
4:11 pm
Years ago I survived a traumatic car accident as well as my daughter who was then 3. You always hear the stories about how they left to just run an errand and never made it home. Your life can change in a split second and from that point on we have always said “I love you” when one of us leaves or at the end of all phone calls as it may be the last chance I get to let him or my kids know how I feel. I never want the regret of never getting to say it one last time. If you love them, let them know.
New2GA
April 24th, 2009
4:11 pm
Moved from NYC. A friend knew one of the people whose husband did not come home the evening of 9/11/01, he got up too early for her to kiss him goodbye. He tried leaving her a phone message which she got later on – she never did kiss him goodbye. To do it over, it would be a kiss each and every time. That is how I feel about my hubby heading out. Life can be too short, enjoy every moment as if it could be the last and unwrap each day like a precious gift because it is. Blessings to all.
Kathy
April 24th, 2009
4:12 pm
newmom…..Little E also loves it when she sees Mommmy and Daddy kiss and hug. She will run over and shout “Family Hug!” We pick her up and she will wrap an arm around each of us and then we all hug and kiss. Sappy and cheesy I know, but she loves it and we think it is so darn cute!
Meme
April 24th, 2009
4:13 pm
We also always kiss each other hello when we come home from work or being gone for anything more than just running down the street to the store. I can’t wait to see my husband after we have been apart.
Sue
April 24th, 2009
4:20 pm
My mother bought me an alarm clock in the 1st grade! Now I am 30. My husband of 11 years leaves the house at about 5:30 AM (long before I get up) but he still tells me goodbye and we hug and kiss. Then I roll over and go back to sleep :-)
MrLiberty
April 24th, 2009
4:23 pm
Unless I’m sick or she’s sick then its just a hug.
Richard Buck
April 24th, 2009
4:29 pm
From the guy’s perspective, it’s a brief and sentimental gesture confirming acceptance and longing for the other’s safe return. Sometimes the brush teeth thing is a polite thought but I’d rather have the kiss than not as I know that she has been busy taking care of the family and me, but just didn’t have time. No biggy. Some marriage therapists recommend that the loved one returning should be greeted by a 5-min kiss. Uh, by 30 sec I would be either looking for a room or the 8-yr-old is tugging on us. And always kiss her goodnight despite what happened that day!
Singerman27
April 24th, 2009
4:34 pm
My Wife and I do not kiss much, or hug much. She is not the affectionate type. That being said though, she is a very loyal and caring woman, and I have learned to accept that affection is just not a part of her personality. We have been married 19 years.
motherjanegoose
April 24th, 2009
4:36 pm
Kathy…we did the group hug thing when our kids were little too! Fond memories!
Grammaw
April 24th, 2009
4:46 pm
I’m divorced now, but for the 16 1/2 years we were married, we always kissed good-bye, and hello! Even when we worked together at the same big company, when we got to the parking lot, we kissed good-bye, and when we got to the car in the evenings, we kissed hello. I did the same with my kids. I had to drive them to school, and they got kissed whether they liked it or not, and they got an “I love you”, too. As adults, they now tell me how much it really meant to them. I now have a 5 1/2 y.o. g’dau that is in K-garten, and although I am not up when she leaves for school, I tell her every night at bedtime, and I kiss her hello when she gets home. (I live with them.) It’s wonderful to hear that sweet little voice say “Grammaw, I love you MORE!” (About which we playfully argue…who loves who most!) She is a loving child, and I don’t want to change that about her.
Adrienne Y. Murphy
April 24th, 2009
4:46 pm
My husband is up every morning at 4 also. He has to be at work at 5. But he makes it a point to make sure that even though I am not up and really awake, that he wakes me enough to recognize that he is kissing me and I kiss him back and we tell each other good morning. Same thing at night when we get in bed to go to sleep, we say our prayers and kiss each other goodnight. It has been the same thing for almost 11years.
Jen
April 24th, 2009
4:49 pm
I am the first to leave in the morning, and every morning on my way out of the bedroom, I kiss husband good bye and tell him I love him. Usually I get a sleepy I love you too.
jess
April 24th, 2009
4:49 pm
I want him now!! cant wait till he gets home!
Stacey
April 24th, 2009
4:55 pm
My family is big with “I love you’s”. My mother would not let us go to bed, leave home or hang up the phone without saying it. My siblings and I all picked up on it and instilled it in our kids, too. It is so sweet to hear the little two year olds say I love you to any and everyone they see! :-D I even say to my in-laws so now they say it to me but not necessarily to each other. I guess it’s just about how you were raised.
When I was a teenager a lived with my uncle and aunt for a while and my aunt (uncle’s wife) NEVER said I love you to anyone. I know she loved me like her own, she just wasn’t comfortable saying it. I would still say it to her and she would say “ok” or “I know”. The last time I saw her was at my mother’s funeral and by then my aunt was very sick with cancer. Before she left to go home she told me first that she loved me and was proud of me. She died the next month and I was so glad to hear her say it that one time.
@jess
April 24th, 2009
4:56 pm
Thanks…wayyyyy too much information. This isn’t about sex. It’s about kissing GOOD-BYE.
Debbie
April 24th, 2009
5:17 pm
For 25 years my husband and I have kissed and hugged each other bye each morning or anytime that one of us leaves. The same goes for our two kids. Also at the end of a phone call (The whole family) does the ” I love you” thing. My outlook on life is SHOW YOUR LOVE.
Wens
April 24th, 2009
5:19 pm
Every morning no matter the time its a kiss, I love you and have a good day! Every evening it’s a kiss and how was your day!
motherjanegoose
April 24th, 2009
5:23 pm
I know this sounds ridiculous but I CANNOT go back to sleep if anyone wakes me up. I am in the stage of my life where I am having serious sleep issues. I have had a complete physical but nothing showed up. I have taken every known sleeping pill and none work for me. They say, “do not get up, as you will be dizzy…” Not me, I am sitting in bed 2 hours after I took Ambien CR and wide awake!
Since there are many weeks I am working and traveling 7 days per week, I cannot sleep in and catch up. Thus, I prefer not to be kissed goodbye every morning at dawn thirty and not be able to go back to sleep. I never sleep in past 7:30 or 8:00 ( when I do not have to go to work) but I do not want to be awake before 5:00 every morning either. Guess it is just me. If I did not have to leave the house and/or travel for business, maybe I would feel differently.
Yolanda
April 24th, 2009
5:27 pm
My husband and I kiss each other when one leaves. I stand in the window and watch him until he drives away even he leaves for work at 130a. If ever we should go our separate ways, I want him to remember those little “love things” about me. I have never told my mom verbally that I love her, but my kids and I exchange that sentiment without hesitation.
Vicki
April 24th, 2009
5:27 pm
For the past 24 years, we’ve kissed goodbye every morning, except when he’s out of town. Then I get a call!!
fk
April 24th, 2009
5:57 pm
I wouldn’t say every morning, but pretty regularly. When I was at home, I would get irritated if my husband went the entire day without a phone call at some point. There were times when he left b/f 7 a.m. and got home well after 8 p.m.. Now, he calls me everyday at work, and guess what, it irritates me. I don’t like to chit-chat on the phone while I’m at work.
catlady
April 24th, 2009
6:09 pm
Good for those of you who get your hubby or wifey going in the morning! Get up! He/she is up and going to work!
Yankee
April 24th, 2009
6:20 pm
Every day, but it’s only been 28 years.
Mike D
April 24th, 2009
6:28 pm
My wife gives me what I like to call a mouth hug every morning.
Mechanixwife
April 24th, 2009
6:28 pm
Yup sure do, kiss him goodbye and tell him I love him every afternoon as he leaves for the night shift. My children (who are 19 and 20) get the same treatment and always holler from the street “Mama, I love you” before getting into their cars each day. I absolutely refuse to let a day go by without giving each a kiss and saying I love you.
Momma Rose
April 24th, 2009
6:28 pm
My husband and I kiss every morning. When he used to have to leave the house at 6AM and I was still asleep he’d still kiss me. Sometimes I would remember it, sometimes not. Now that he’s unemployed and usually still asleep when I leave I do the same. When I get home from work he comes outside and greets me and helps me grab my stuff. We’ve been together for 29.5 years (married for almost 21) and I can’t imagine not cuddling on the couch or hugging each other just for the heck of it. I’ve always felt so safe with his arms around me. I can’t even fathom what I would do if the other stuff some folks mentioned were to happen.
New Mom… enjoy it while you can! My now 16 y/o daughter was 10 when she discovered an unopened pregnancy test in my bathroom. One of her best friends was over and they were giggling and giggling… so much so I just HAD to see what was up. So I poked my head into her room and when I asked what was so funny my daughter (always blunt and to the point) said “Why do YOU have a pregnancy test???” I told her that a few years before I had thought I might be pregnant. They got hysterical. I mean rolling on the floor, laughing so hard they were crying hysterical. Finally my daughter caught her breath enough to say “Mom, PLEASE just tell me you don’t do anything when I’m home.” (She was 10! Where else was she going to be but home?) I said “Well, if you want me to lie to you I can, but…” That’s when the “Eeewwww! Gross! Oh my God!!” started. From that day on whenever my husband and I kissed or hugged in front her she would say stuff like “Hey! Stop that! Ewww! C’mon guys, that’s gross!” Which, of course, made us do it even more! A little over a year ago she and her first serious boyfriend broke up. When they started dating she stopped saying anything to us about it. I guess she figured out that all that hugging and kissing can be pretty fun!
Justmy2cents
April 24th, 2009
6:43 pm
My husband kisses me every day before he leaves for work. He gets up before I do (although I have to prompt him to turn off the alarm clock), his shower time is first and I pack his and the kids’ lunches, and then I hop in the shower before work. He kisses me when he is done in the shower, to wake me up, and again before he leaves. We also say “ok, love you, bye” on the phone[- every conversation. It prompted my stepfather to tell my mom he loves her before they hang up too.
DB
April 25th, 2009
8:41 am
Momma Rose: When my daughter was seven years old, she heard a phrase on the radio, “unprotected sex”, and asked, “What’s that?” Believing in full disclosure, and since she already knew what sex was, in rudimentary terms, I told her. She sat there, wide-eyed in the car, and then said, “Have you and Daddy ever had unprotected sex?” With two kids, my response was a smiling, “At least twice!” The next question: “In MY house?!” Response: “Umm, I think it’s MY house, honey, and yes, of course, because that’s what married people do to show they love each other.” She sat there and digested it for a bit, and finally declared, “Well, just don’t do it around ME!” I assured her that that wasn’t going to be a problem.
Why do these conversations take place in cars when you’re trying to drive, gauge reactions and be coherent, all at the same time?!
motherjanegoose
April 25th, 2009
8:48 am
Grammaw….this is a silly question but if you are divorced now, did the kissing goodbye and hello actually help your marriage?
I did stand at the door, kiss and wave goodbye when my husband worked midnights but we lived in a small town and I did not have to get up until 7:00 to get to my Kinder class in the morning. Since I am currently working 7 days per week, at least 30 weeks per year ( with my travel) I need my sleep and 4:00 a.m. comes too early for me. When I do not get enough sleep, I get sick ( as I am in classrooms all week with little friends and their germs) and it is not fun trying to speak to 400 people for 6 hours ( at a meeting) or fly on an airplane with a sinus infection, when I am sick. I am up today with the dogs and my family is sleeping in….fine with me as they get up at 4:00 and 5:45 all week!
Dave, the dog will acknowledge the trash man, mail carrier, UPS, kids walking down the street to school, even a burglar….I am not so sure this is because your dog loves you more….he/she just has good ears and is doing his job. If your dog is like mine….it can nap at will ( anytime…all day)….I do not think your wife has this luxury….if she did…she may be more inclined to kiss you good bye…try it!
Tiffany
April 25th, 2009
6:34 pm
WOW! I am truly impressed by all of the romantic folks out there!
nurse&mother
April 26th, 2009
5:42 pm
Muffin paws, I think your disgust is a little misguided, imho. My husband gets up early. I work late and even on my off days, I stay up late. Neither my husband nor I feel it necessary for me to wake up after five hours of sleep and kiss him goodbye or fix breakfast. We certainly kiss other times. More importantly, we show our love in so many ways (not just kissing in the morning). It works for us.
I certainly think that is nice of you to wake up early and do the things you do. But please don’t throw off on others for not doing the exact same things you do. Different strokes for different folks. It would certainly be boring if everyone were the same. :-)
FCM
April 27th, 2009
11:02 pm
My parents have been married for a large number of decades (if I print how many my Mom will get me!). They kissed every day he wasn’t out of town….I can remember my Dad standing at the door (they always met at the door), yelling “I’m here at the door, where are you?” (The answer back then was usually in the kitchen with us children). Mom would go to the door and kiss him to which my brother and I made all the usual obnoxious noises, grunts, etc. When Dad came home he would go to my Mom and kiss her, then head up stairs to get changed out of his suit. Then we he came back down he would go kiss her again!
These days Mom is the one being kissed at the door. She is also the one going to kiss him before she changes out of her work suits. And when I catch them I still make all the obnoxious children noises for old times sake! To which the answer “Get over it!” “You don’t like it you can go back to your house!”
I think JG is right, its the small stuff that keeps it together. My parents still love (and still love to aggrevate) each other after all these years. They raised two productive, caring, responsible, loving children (that both got divorced).
They must be doing something right!
just wondering
April 28th, 2009
7:15 am
Who is the moderator of this blog? Theresa or MotherJaneGoose?
motherjanegoose
April 29th, 2009
5:51 pm
Theresa!!! I have not received a cent for my comments ( no matter who thinks they are relevant or ignorant) BUT I have never received an e-mail from Theresa that has asked me to stay away and please leave the blog alone. I have received several other e-mails from Theresa and she knows how to reach me in case she wants me to SHUT UP. I WILL ALWAYS follow her directions, as she is in charge!
BlueDog9900
May 6th, 2009
9:57 am
My partner and I used to kiss each other hello and goodbye every time one of us would leave/return. However, this past weekend, she told me that she’s not happy, that she just wants to go to work and come home, that she can’t manage work and a relationship. We’ve been together for just over one year. When she left yesterday without that kiss, I let it go. This morning, she was downstairs while I was getting ready to get in the shower. I asked her if she was leaving before I came down, and she replied, ‘why don’t you just get in the shower’. I did and when I got out, she was gone…
Just for Laughs
November 27th, 2009
10:34 am
Mother Jane Goose… you are funny :-) I think you need your own personal blog.
Just for Laughs
November 27th, 2009
10:37 am
Oh… and on topic. Yes my beautiful wife and I kiss each other good morning, good bye, and again in the evening… We have been together 8 years, and married for 4. We have one son, and we both work in down town New York… so sometimes it can be a little hectic while getting ready in the morning.
mamamia
February 10th, 2010
9:48 am
I have a question. What is the proper manner when leaving or arriving home. For example when my partner comes home from work should I get up and kiss him first or do I wait until he kisses me, the same goes for when either one of us is leaving….
JT Deployed
April 28th, 2010
10:44 am
yes me and my wife kiss goodbye every morning and when we leave the house evev Lilly our 3 year old, we are both active army we have been married for 4 years i and i am almost done with my second deployment and she just fineshed her first but when we are both home we do every thing together because we know we might not see oneanother agian we cook,clean,well we’ll doesn’t matter we are always together we do eat breeakfast, lunch every day together.
We don’t let our little girl wath a lot of T.V. we would rather pick her up from daycare eat diner and go to a park or just out side and play with the puppy that’s where children get that feeling of love from their parent’s they see that your always together and i feels more like a loving and careing home. Other than just fast food and TV diners while they lock theirselvs in a room in front of a tv or gameing system.