I am in the middle of working on both my older children’s birthday parties. Their parties will hit only two weeks apart. My current dilemma is whether to invite Walsh’s whole kindergarten class to his party. (There are 18 kids in all.)
During preschool I always invited the whole class, and other mothers told me when your kids hit grade school nobody invites the whole class anymore.
In first grade, Rose wanted just girls to go roller skating. So we invited just the girls from the class – an easy, non-offensive way to decrease the number.
However, this year Rose asked for a handful of specific friends from her class — boys and girls — to come to her party. Originally, I felt fine about not inviting her whole class because Rose has only been invited to a few birthday parties this whole year so I figured everyone else was doing that too.
I sent the invitations out during Spring Break to the kids’ homes to further ensure that it was OK that we didn’t invite the whole class. However, when they got back to school Rose had one little girl that we didn’t invite ask if she was going to be invited. The teacher interrupted before Rose could answer and said we don’t talk about parties at school. I felt terrible about this little girl so I quickly made up an invitation and Rose discreetly gave it to her at school saying my mom didn’t have your address. (She had to deliver one other invitation to school that we didn’t have an address on so it didn’t look that late.)
About a week later, a little boy in her class said that she was rude for not including his best friend from the class on the invite list. She talks about the first little boy all the time. I’ve never heard her even mention the other little boy. Should I feel bad about not including him?
I work in Walsh’s kindergarten class and know all the kids and have met many of their parents so I feel more inclined to invite everyone. Plus, it seems like all the kids are inviting everyone so it seems only right to reciprocate.
What do you think: Should I have included all 19 kids for Rose’s party? (It’s a science party and we’re going to be doing experiments.) Should I include all of Walsh’s class? (He is having a Lego building party so it is easier to accommodate a crowd.) When do you stop inviting everyone and cherry pick just their favorite friends?